Morning After

I am so hugely grateful that I spent a virtually pain free night and now a pain free morning after having two teeth, one a molar pulled from my head. I was worried that I would be visited by thrashing pain during the evening and over night when the last of the analgesics used by the oral surgeon wore off but nothing really, nothing like I thought I would experience.

Yesterday morning Dianne and I rolled into oral surgeon's office just a few minutes before my scheduled appointment. We had to do the whole check in thing like medication lists, history, and the exchange of filthy lucre and the wait. The office is a fairly new building upscale with lots of nice furniture and glass windows, huge windows with gorgeous views of the Wasatch Range and Salt Lake valley. I always try to project myself into what different seasons look like through such windows especially the summer or winter storms.

There seemed to be a bit of chaos since my Dentist had not sent over my film for the OS to look at—this kind of really surprised me since my doc is usually pretty good about that kind of stuff. Of course my dentist did not have the images he took of my teeth last week digitally so his reception ran and got them. Luckily my dentist's building is just half a block of the surgeons. The images were less then helpful so he decided to get some more done with his machine which coolly orbits the head—well sort of cool if you can stand and since I cannot we tried to get it work with my wheelchair. Dianne took off the head rest and this sort of worked. We were able to get imaging done enough to please the doctor—who looked at the root work and seemed pleased.

I was pleased that the doc said he would be able to do the work from my power-chair with the seat reclined. Being able to not have to transfer to the dental chair from my wheelchair is such a gift especially after the procedure when I am a total goose. I chose to have them them knock me out. I was feeling a little guilty for doing so. Maybe I was missing something by choosing not to be conscience during the extraction, or maybe this choice revealed my more cowardly side but didn't matter now because the nurse had just hooked me up to drip and I was going under—no turning back now.

It's so strange to feel the analgesics take effect and wonder when they will start the operation and then realize you're in recovery and it over the whole thing is done and you're still alive and life is moving forward. The office gives you a printed document on how to survive hours/days following extraction. No sucking. Smoking, eating anything you like for at least three days, no mouthwash for at least three weeks and no working out! He write me two prescriptions one heavy duty painkiller and one for antibacterial and then it was time to wait, wait for the analgesics to wear and see how miserable I was going to be. I wasn't and have not been. I was in no distress at all before going to bed.

I did not sleep well, I was terrified I would wake in the night engulfed in unspeakable pain but the pain never came and I managed to get some sleep for I am feeling great right now. I did note a little discomfort around the extraction sites but was not oral pain and that pain only came when I held my mouth a certain way. I'm good I'm about twenty -eight hours post surgery and I feel great, bleeding nearly stopped and relieved to have this behind me. I want to extend special love and thanks to Dianne who drove me two and from the doctor's office and also was able to sit with me through the surgery to hold my legs down when they spasm, and they did through the event.

I have probably have three of four more trips to my regular dentist's office to clean up a bunch a cavities which surfaced during the initial examination but I think those will be cake compared to yesterday. I am so relieved.

Homecoming

Blog March 26, 2014 – – Wednesday

This may be a quick posting, Dianne is due in the second around 5:00 AM I wanted to spruce the house up a little bit before she comes home. She's been gone now exactly one week and though I'm glad that she got to go see your family and particularly have an event where all the children together for their mom perhaps one last time, I have to admit I was a little spooked about being on my own for that amount time. However I must also say that I have done well. I have had no near-death experiences, no near fall experiences and I have pretty much kept to my normal routine. True, I did not go into Wellness today because I want to be here with Dianne, got home. I worked out yesterday so, I have a heavy day done and to try to do a half an hour on the Saratoga and then use elastic bands which is exactly what I would be doing had I gone to Wellness. Besides, it's cold today. A cold front moved in overnight there are clouds and rain today – – if I need the final reason to skip Wellness the weather today is that reason.

The house is a bit of a mess. I could've tried harder. I was frustrated with some issues of access and hence few dishes got done. Which is okay because eight of eight out for a pizza which was ordered him. And I did my usual breakfast of burritos potato chips and chinese noodles on a paper plate. So there's very little dishes that need to be done still place needs to be policed up a little. I also should figure out something for dinner since that is when Dianne will be returning. I have not a clue for that. Perhaps I'll file a stake or maybe some bacon will have breakfast for dinner which might be fun, we'll see. So, got to go and see what I can do… 

Just Another Miracle

Blog March 25, 2014 – – Tuesday

If I were a religious person I am afraid I would have to be designed as a charismatic Christian not that I wanted to be it's just that I was brought up under a more charismatic vein of Mormonism than most folks – – but that is not what this blog is about today. I am charismatic enough to believe that there are forces active in my life all the time and more often than not they're active to keep me alive are safe. Case in point, a couple weeks ago I posted a blog about being saved at the last moment from an oncoming car. I believe this happened and I believe exterior forces are what neutralized this nearly catastrophic event.

All my life seems I have needed to be rescued from near-death encounters. I do not want to say they become commonplace or that expect them to intervene in my foolish clumsy behavior but I am not shocked or surprised when once again my life is extended on this planet.

I noted in a previous posting, was beginning to get negative feelings from some of the staff at the Wellness program when I ask for the charger to boost my chairs energy to make sure I get home okay. So, to that end I've decided to start caring a charger that will meet my needs that I will have full control of and not have to ask for assistance in plugging in. All I have to do is find a socket and away I go. So earlier this week I stopped off at the Independent living Center here in Salt Lake and got myself what I thought such a charger. It's smaller, lighter and more efficient than the big-box chargers that used to come with their power chairs. I should've plugged in the charger while at the Independent living Center to be sure that it worked but I did not. I just spelled it in my backpack and took off for my workout. Following the workout, since I was batching it, I decided I would take in one of the movies at the theaters nearby. I got my tickets it was late afternoon, I went into the theater and got one of the ushers the plug in the charger and then I found out that charger did not work. This kind of spooked me. It was Friday afternoon and wellness had closed for the day and I was not sure if I had enough power to get home. So I figured I had best make a run for for the bus to see how close I can get to home if the batteries should fail. It was then that I realized that I was on a bus route which closed fairly early. If I had not been alerted to the fact that I could not charge my battery I would very surely been stranded in sugarhouse. The movie would've gotten out relatively late but I'm sure that route 21 would be closed by that time I had not thought this out I was stupid. So true this would be a minor miracle that a miracle just the same once again save my own stupidity by a greater hand in mine.

PS Oh and by the way I did get home safely with a little power to spare in the lesson learned.

Good Old Mel

Today I was on the floor at Wellness charging my batteries, I was there early because I had my lunch date with Bonnie leaving me a couple hours before 3 o'clock. I rolled past a fellow that I didn't recognize and as I rolled past he called my name. I turned around and looked at him and there was something familiar but I just couldn't place him so I did that thing of smile a lot, nod my head and tried to get him to say something which would click some sort of memory but I just could not place him. He seemed to be at every workout station in my workout routine he was even on my ergometer when I got in there. Luckily he was just finishing as I came on to the floor but we continue to talk and kept bringing up names from my past and little by little I began to place them I still did not know his name but I did recall an association with him as a younger person when I was working with independent living. I was interested in that he seemed to know everybody in the Wellness Program and I hadn't seeing him there before. I finally pulled one of the aides aside and asked who this guy was when she replied Melvin. I remembered, I remembered Me, that's how I knew him then just, Mel.

Mel was one of those walking quads. He took great pleasure can struggling to walk everywhere he went even to the point of hyper extended his knees when he walked . Mel's walking always looked painful, but that what he did. Mel was part of a group of younger folks with disabilities there at the independent living center. Kind of the young dragons or lions or whatever they young were all doing the young of 70'sor 80's. Like with so many folks at that time of my life I lost contact with Mel. He moved out of the state. He went to California he went to law school, had a career and had quite a life. Hooked up with someone and has had quite a life. Melvin finished his law degree but has yet to certify life got in his way. He was forced into taking a medical retirement and is now in Wellness. I don't know why he has we reentered my life but I think I need to pay attention to old Mel and see what happens.

I Need Some Sleep

Dianne left early this morning about 5 a.m. Meaning we had to get up at 4 to get her out the door. I made eggs while she finished doing what she had to do to be ready The cab showed up around 5 o'clock and then she was gone. That's right we elected to go with a taxi since the usual supports did not seem to be round. The cab seems to have worked, I did not here back from Dianne so I assume all went well and all is well. I already miss her more than I can say so this is going to be a long week. I have been trying to keep busy working on the computer and I tried to work a little bit on the Saratoga silver but I just do not have what I need to keep my hands secured to the Machine. Dianne did order the active hands last night that was over $160 and who knows how long it will take the gloves to arrive they are shipped from England. So I think tonight I will try to get to bed early get up early could have a productive day. Tomorrow is usually my day off from wellness but I have to be at the Sugarhouse area I have lunch with Bonnie so I think I will drop in on wellness press some weights and use the arm bike there to get my strokes in. I sure hope the Saratoga Silver will work for me. I have become a little concerned in that I have detected a minor slip on the crank when I'm spinning with greater resistance. I have a email to RandScott Inc., but I've yet to hear anything back ...and that kinda worries me. At this point the slip is insignificant but if the slip gets worse I will have to take more direct action for some kind of resolution

My oral pain has been kept to a minimum and if I do not activate the cavities to greatly I should be ok. I have the ibuprofen and I think I'll be fine. In fact the first discomfort I have had all day was after a quick supper of the cold corn beef we cooked for St Patricks Day. The cold of the refrigerated beef seemed have awaken some nerve activity but thank goodness it seems to have short lived, even so I will take 2 ibuprofen before I hit the sack later this evening...

I know this is short, but when you don't go anywhere during the day or do anything significant you just don't have a whole lot to write about. Maybe tomorrow I will have a more significant day.

My Saratoga

Saratoga Silver set up ad ready to go

I am really quite surprised at myself, today is Extraction Day and I am fairly calm and excepting of why ever today brings. I mean, usually I am quite beside myself when facing the dentist especially knowing the appointment is specifically to extract a felony molar. The only thing which could go wrong besides my death is Drew, my dentist, may say that there is infection, here is some medicine take it and come back in and we'll do it again or he may say something like, “Whoa, I don't like the looks of that, that tooth is way in the back, I am afraid I'll have to sent you over to my buddy Jack the Oral Surgeon, let let him wrestle the bugger out.” In which case I would be slightly relieved but dread having to wait another however long it takes to resolve this discomfort and fear of an immediate escalation of pain.

My appointment is for 12:30 pm, it was a cancellation last Thursday when I called, so I suppose I am lucky, I am in that I hope to have this mess pretty much behind me before flies out to Baton Rouge for a week to visit her family. I am missing my volunteer day at 211-which is no big deal. I hope I will feel up to my other volunteer responsibilities an to my Wellness workout. However, Wellness may not be such big deal now that I have my SS set up and ready to go. I cranked a little yesterday. I think I am really going to enjoy having this machine home and able to use when ever I . Now I really need Wellness for the use of their weights, some staff insights and a little socialization. I hope to build my home gym to the point that I might be able to disconnect with the University Wellness program all together. I really am fortunate—more so then I deserve.

The Saratoga Silver finally arrived Thursday afternoon. Dianne and I tore into the box to see if everything was there, it was but all in pieces. This was going to be a major assembly job. We were going to have to find someone to help. We made some calls but it was not until Sunday I was able to get Mark A to come over and put the machine together. I am always surprised at how well Mark does this kind of stuff. He has a great analytical mind. We talked and Mark assembled and soon had us useable functioning Silver Saratoga 1.I can us the machine but not as effectively as I will when I get a set of gloves which will 'lash' my hands to the crank peddles.

The time with Mark was great- found he doesnot have the great fear of dentists that I do. He actually have a healthy point of view such as 'Dentists are our friends', that whole thing of practice good oral health and going to the DDS will be a walk in the park—something to look forward to. My discussion with Mark A helped a lot as did a comment left on my blog post from Friday or Saturday my little sister who maybe just have as big of DDS phobia as I. Her reassurances helped a lot. Thanks everyone.

No I better go get un-naked, get dressed, ride my bike and see a man about a yank.

A Promise

My Saratoga Silver finally arrived yesterday, were are totally excited. The Saratoga came by a big brown truck, as freight. One box in the back of the freight truck on one wood pallet. The driver climbed down from his huge cab. Walked to the back of his rig opened it up and down loaded the box onto our driveway and drove away. I had stayed home from Wellness to take delivery, which was stupid because there was nothing I could do but encourage those able-bodied folks doing everything to receive my machine and stow it away. Dianne and I walked round the box wondering if this was the whole shipment. I had expected two boxes, there was only one box and it was wrapped up tight as Christmas.

The box was heavy and there was now we were lifting it in to the house my ourselves so we found a razor blade and cracked the box and sure enough in side was everything. The table to mount the ergo meter on and the Saratoga but everything disconnected. We took the machine out of the box piece by piece. There were bags of bolts and washers many of these. The hand crank, the computer read out board and the pieces of the stand. The packing was blue styrofoam blocks and pieces all cut from styrofoam blocks—the box itself was totally lined with the stryo stuff. We finally got enough pieces liberated from the box we could carry everything inside the house and put everything on the table. Clearly putting this mother back together was going to take more energy and skills we had the moment.

In the mean time we are placing calls first to family we are hoping can help. We called Gabe but were not able to make contact. Then I tried my one, Mark but was not able to make contact with him until today. He was busy with my granddaughters gymnastics meet. We passed a couple of texts maybe he can come over tomorrow, Sunday. Hopefully we can amass the machine in two hours. Kids are busy with life we understand and appreciate any assistance we can get when we get it. If immediate fam does not workout then we will try extended family and if the extended option fails then friends then finding a handy person we can pay to have the service completed.

I m going to get this Saratoga Silver assembled as quickly as possible—of course it will not be as quick as I would like and I am going to use what resources I have to accomplish the project. I believe in the great results I have garnered at Wellness and know important the machine is to my body, health and well mind. I am not going to let the pieces sit round till they eventually all get lost or destroyed as I have done with so many other opportunities in my life. I am going to have my hand bike together and being used one way or another by the end of March. That is a promise. 

I'm Terrified

I did it, I made the appointment yesterday, I have a Monday appointment with my dentist, Drew Luke Jones. On the face this is not such a big deal for normal people but for me it world impacting. I am almost phobic when it comes to dental intervention—long time follower might remember a blog back in 2007 when I outlined a single event in the distant past which, I believe, has effected me the rest of my life. The Monday appointment is for an extraction which should have happened more then five years ago.

I am embarrassed to see the doc but I have to I have to have this done to circumvent an oral catastrophe I fear is looming and could occur any day. As I wrote earlier this tooth was doomed years ago. The tooth is a molar in the far reaches of my mouth, way in the back, totally difficult for the dentist to work but he managed to fill cavities over the years until finally he said it was time for it too come out. The molar does not align any tooth above—that moral being taken years earlier, so there is no good reason to keep the tooth which can only cause problems. In fact, Drew even wrote the referral to an oral surgeon, which I wish I had complied with, and turned me loose. I just could not muster the will to have the minor procedure done. I am embarrassed because he is going to see me and realize how big a coward I really am.

I am really surprised at how long I have put this appointment off. Drew has done excellent work over the years. After the “temporary” fix Dew did years ago, the pain subsided and finally ceased altogether—the pain did return every once in a while but I would combat the pain with Ibuprofen, the pain would leave and I would go on my way.

This was a pattern I could live with thinking that when the pain went nova I would have the procedure done. The pain began returning a couple weeks ago, just a little irritation at first, the significant enough to interrupt my sleep and day to day life. Then came the opportunity for Dianne to fly back to Louisiana to visit with her family for a week—I would be alone. I know this is when the tooth would go not only nova but super nova, a pain so exquisite not even Ibuprofen could cut. So I fessed up to my wife I was suffering and she coaxed and supported me into making the appointment. Of course now the dentist wants to pull the molar himself—there is no record of him ever referring me to an oral surgeon. 45 minutes, that is what his nurse says it will take, and he will use just the usual anesthetic. I figured this is my grief for beating the tooth reaper this long.

Monday at 12:30 the extraction is supposed to take pace—this should be ample time to heal before Dianne flies out on the following Wednesday and I'll be on my own. I can do this, I can sit in the chair and let Drew reach into the back of my mouth with that medieval torture device and tear out the corrupt piece of bone and set me free.

Power to the People

Dianne and her sister left the house early today which is OK by me, I was getting ready to head out myself for the Wellness Program. Even though I was quite early I want to get down to Sugarhouse cruise around a little bit. Sun is out it's not successfully warm yet that's a nice day to be out riding the system. Since I have the time I figured I would stop somewhere inbound for lunch. I found a place essentially across the street from outpatient rehab. I'd see the place a number of times actually a bar that's okay. The places name is Fats Grill and the best part is Fats is all accessible to a person using a wheelchair. Fts is one those places that didn't mean to be or go out of their way to accessible Fats is accessible because they're civilized. I stopped for lunch there and got a BLT and fries the lunch was okay not stellar. The bar tender/waited said the sandwiches are good but the burgers are their best offering. I am sure the burgers are as he said they are, I just did not want to load up on that much fat before I went to my workout.Fats is great, located in the heart of Sugarhouse on Highland Drive, the place is serviced by at least two bus lines, possibly more. The place is spacious and unpretentious yet the place is not a dive. There are a number of levels, an eating section, a pool/billiards and a hard core bar section which looks may also serve as a dance area in the evenings when they have live bands.

Today I was traveling entirely on public transit which means I power from my house up to the bus stop on to the train then jump another bus to 1100 East. Use a lot of powers and seems my batteries drain quickly meaning I have to be careful and conservative in how I expend my power. As I sit here having lunch looking out the window at the intersection, I am nagged “ Why the hell can't I have access to chargers scattered throughout the city? So a person could drive their powerchair have lunch, watch a movie, read a book and charge for an hour to can come away with enough charge to do what they would want to do for the rest of the day. I mean I would love for Fats Grill to have a charger that I could plug into when I come to eat and get a nice hour buzz, which guarantee me enough power do whatever else I had to do. This much electricity is not going to break Fats or Sugarhouse. Perhaps that time may come when there are enough people using powerchairs that their usage might have a financial impact on private or city facilities.

I would not care if who ever asked a small fee for the power. A quarter for an hour, seriously I would pay a buck for a guarantee of enough power to go where I needed. I know a lot of chair users may not be able to afford this much but I could. And seriously my 25 cents and even a dollar is not going to save the city but is my “by in”. Its me paying my way. Remember how people bitched and moaned when businesses started charging for air. People accepted air is not free, at least compressed.

I want chargers out there in the city at food markets, doctor offices, libraries transit hubs and transit stations and yes even private places, theaters, malls, and even restaurants and bars...Power to the people!!

Equal To The Challenge

Once again I have had near fall experience and I do not like it. I really am trying not to be histrionic about these events yet at the same time I feel I must be realistic and cautious. I hate like hell the students are coming at the time they are but I guess better now then when I'm really not prepared for them.

Last night as I was getting to make the transfer from my wheelchair to the bed I came very close falling on the floor. But I transfer for my future to the bed I must first get both legs up on to the mattress then I reach up rabbi trapeze and lift myself on the bed. Last night I have that lays on the bed and as I went to transfer hopefully slipped off the mat leaving myself precariously hanging of the bed and luckily I was able to call Dianne Asus to me I'm getting both legs backup on the mattress and I was able to roll over on the bed. This of course is not the first time this happened and I wonder if I have tried a little harder what I've been able to get myself back onto the mattress independently. In the past, I've always been able rescue myself these situations and this one event is not such a big deal but when incorporated with the other events of this week I have become concerned. At the fact that Dianne will be leaving next week for a week in Louisiana, with her family has significantly heightened my concern .

In the old days I welcome challenge such as being alone for a week and taking care of myself, not that I don't take care of myself now, but having Dianne around is certainly a great safety net. I have always lived by faith, faith in myself and or faith in a higher source. I know I can generally I can take care of himself. In fact is is my responsibility to take care of myself as much as I can. So, I am exploring options of how I can take of myself safely in independently. I want to explore options such as a First Alert pendant something I can wear around my neck and then leaving the front door unlocked so if I were to have to call somebody to assist me they would be able to have easy access into the house.

There's the option of having someone stay at the house while Dianne is gone. I'm not really considering this idea. I just don't want someone babysitting me. I am really looking forward to being alone naked and in my house. Having someone there search cramps this style. And seriously I have enough people in my life around my home that I can call on if should fall. I have kids, a brother who lives just couple of blocks from the house plus a whole passel of cousins also in this part of town. Then there is the options of the local organization ( see the post a couple of days go). Lastly there are friends who have committed to assist if I need...so I am covered I am going to be OK. I just have to be more careful hen I have been. I am going to have o be focused and alert. I am equal to this challenge.

Enough Is Enough

I really like the Wellness program, the program is been a major part of my life as last year, I go in 3 days a week and workout for an hour. I'm not driving anymore so I'm using public transit entirely to get around. That's okay, I just have to plan my life accordingly this means I go with the bus goes are on the train goes however that works. The Wellness Program does not start until 3 o'clock in the afternoon . In order to get to the Wellness Program I have to leave the house no later the 12 o'clock and order to be sure to get to the facility by 3 o'clock. Many times I get there sometimes an hour early. It seems that many of my fellow wheelchair folk have the same problem. Management of the wellness program is becoming concerned too many folk in wheelchairs are showing up early and crowding the facility.

At first we could not be on the floor until 3 o'clock. Then on Friday the same day as my near death experience, I got there 45 minutes early and I was told they are changing the rules again and now we cannot even in the building until 15 minutes before 3:00 pm. Come on that is just ridiculous I mean really. They're even talking about penalizing those who do show up early an hour suspension!!. I know they're just trying to keep their facility from clogged up but there has to be a better way then trying to flex their administrative muscles and micromanaging their customers, its stupid just stupid!! This really brings up the whole medical model thing again in how people with disabilities or just patients and not paying consumers. I'm truly considering when my Saratoga Silver arrives and we have it set up, I may have to bid University of Utah rehabilitation program so long. I have to admit I appreciate what the program has done for me over the last year or so. I'm somewhat concerned about leaving the friends and associations I have made with a lot of the other consumers utilizing the Wellness Program. I have to admit I have enjoyed the socialization aspect of the program and I will just have to figure out somewhere else to find some socialization.

I have been in communication with the fellow that I purchased my Saratoga silver from and he says the Machine shipped out either Friday afternoon or Monday morning tomorrow. I should be getting the Saratoga by the end of the week. I had hoped it would arrive by Wednesday but now that does not seem likely. However I'm getting excited about having this machine at the house and being able to utilize it whenever I would like . I'm truly fortunate to be able to make this opportunity to cut myself off from the Wellness Program

NDE

I was late leaving the house today for my workout but I was able to get to reach the bus stop on time and caught the 12:38 inbound. By the time I got to the 21st South Trax station I could see I had ample time to grab a bite at Carls Jr. Carl's Jr , just across the parking lot from the train station its a quick roll not using too much juice, so off I went.

Usually I'm pretty good at knowing my surroundings but I think I have become somewhat complacent with Carl's Jr, or the 21st south parking area. I was heading to the eating establishment and one must keep in mind that I often cruise between parked vehicles allowing me right to cross great expanses of parking areas to get to where I need to be, conserving time with and energy . I was zipping along when I emerged from to parked vehicles suddenly in my pin my peripheral vision to my left I sensed an object approaching at great speed. Keep in mind this event was happening in falling micro time I mean I saw the vehicle and he was closing in on me very quickly and I knew there was nothing I could do about it he and I are going to collide and I for all tense of purposes if this were going to happen I would be a goner. I knew if he hit me at the speed he was going that I would be launched if I were lucky, into the air and I don't know what would have happened at that point, if I was not so lucky I would just be ground under the vehicle literally returned into roadkill . I think I'm a close my eyes but I'm not sure I even have time for that. I wondered if the impending collision was going to hurt. I don't know how it happened I just know that it did happen. The vehicle in a microsecond spun to the right and all I heard was it click as the bumper of the vehicle glanced off my left foot pedal. Had I not heard the " click" I would not of even known we had collided even briefly. Wow. This was it, this was one of those life crossroads this was my Pulp Fiction conversion point like we're Jackson and and Travolta get totally fired upon another round hurt them. They were spared for some reason I felt t he same,in a blink of an eye, literally my life could have been over.

it took a few moments the shake the near trauma from my head. I did that instant counting the fingers and toes making sure I was still on the side of the veil and powered on. I looked around and saw the vehicle which really struck me had pulled into another parking space around the corner from our counter. I felt I needed to speak with the driver. I don't know why I was flooded with emotions but I made it to talk with him or make contact. Cautiously apartment you're over to he was getting out of his vehicle. I think he was afraid of what I was going to say it to him the first thing I did wanna make contact with the driver was ask if he was okay. I know that sounds weird since I was 11 bus got creamed.. I know but I have been a driver it had something similar happened to me I was freaked out my state freaked out remainder of the day. I sure didn't want this to happen to this driver who I wanted to thank for saving my life and that's what I did I told him thanks for being aware enough to dodge my vehicle when I zoomed in front of him. I wanted to thank him for making me lucky for the day.

Of course, I have been reliving this moment, in my mind, for the past day. What I remember is that the vehicle was moving quickly, very fast too fast or a parking lot, not that the speed of his vehicle excuses my inattention to my movements of that event. It seems I am not entirely to blame and that is OK. I will accept the responsibility for what almost happened. One way or another I have been spared—whether divine intervention or just dumb luck I am still here and I can do better.

Just A Little Program Eval...

It seems I am per-occupied with change—I do not know how many times I have written about my life and how much change in my life just upsets the hell out of me. Luckily, this post is about change but not about change in my life, well not so much as I perceive the change will have a direct impact on me. I been going to a program offered by my MD called wellness. Wellness is a great program on the surface. It is a weight training, physical conditioning, strengthening program for people with people with disabilities. It aimed at keeping people with disabilities in the best condition possible in the hopes of keeping us well and out of the doc's office. I am trying real hard at keeping my caustic cynical side from coming out. I will try to reign my emotions in.

Wellness doe not even begin in the day until 3:00 pm. Wellness I held in the outpatient physical therapy unit of a major teaching hospital. The P.T. Unit likes to keep it therapists busy which means money for the organization. I guess after three the “real” P.T. Clients begin to thin out and what administrator likes to see money making space sit idle? So someone conceived the Wellness program. A program which actually sucks SCI's (Spinal Cord Injuries) but into the medical system after the SCI has been rehabilitated. Actually the program is great , Wellness has done me wonders. The program cost a couple hundred bucks to start—money for the evaluation to see where the client is at and where to start the wellness training out, or what the client might want to improve. Me, I wanted to increase my upper body strength to assist me in my transfers and other facets of my life. Once the evaluation is complete you can com to Wellness, use the equipment and staff which consists of a master's level trainer and a couple of P.T. Aids. Personal supports, ire. family members of friends are encouraged to be trained in basic PT assists help with the clients when needed. The monthly fee for the program, following the evaluation is $35.00. I think 35.00 is a deal...right now.

I kind of think the P.T. Administrators did not think Wellness was really going to amount to much, sort of like the public transit folks did when they started opening their vehicles to chair users and other disabilities. Surprise lots and lots of folks with disabilities have taken to the Wellness concept—even the program is not open till after 3:OO PM. In fact the program has done so well they are moving us from the area we now occupy- to medical clinic down stair and I don't know where the clinic is headed. CHANGE!!

Yesterday I was at Wellness—about 30 minutes before Wellness. The wellness director a really nice kid, the masters trainer I mention earlier was covering phones. Some “outward bound” type came up and launched I to a weird conversation regarding an evaluation she has been contracted to do to gather information to see how”we” can make the Wellness program better. The trainer was all ears and compliant-- I could tell this was the first discussion she has had on his topic. I heard a lot of phrases like “ the good of the program” “I don't want to spend any more then two days squiring information” oh and best of all “we would like to interview a couple of customer...just to get their perspective.” At this point both heads were turned my way as the trainer said “he uses the program weekly” and the contractor just smiled and said “we'll be talking.” I smiled and responded accordingly. CHANGE IS COMING TO WELLNESS. I can just feel it. I especially feel for the training because they are going to take the trainers program and “modify” it to make the program better. CHANGE

My Saratoga Silver was shipped day before yesterday, a machine which is exactly like the one I use at Wellness. I can now do , maybe, the most beneficial aspect of the Wellness program. I really do like having access to real life trainer types but I could get by and I will get by even if I have to kiss Wellness good bye.

Serves Me Right

Rain was in falling gently from the sky today and I was a bit concerned as I took off for my errands and meetings. Actually I was running late I stayed up way too late and was paying the price :morning chaos . I could not believe my luck as I stuffed my bookbag and headed out in a mild rain. By the time I reached State Street the rain was coming down hard and and steady. I left of the house so quickly that I didn't have my usual breakfast of tamale Peppers and Chinese noodles. I was a bit surprised and pleased by the time I got to the bus stop that I had recouped some of the time that was lost so I ran over to Mickey D's for some breakfast so I in the best tradition a fast food I was served and on my way I had left the house so quickly that I didn't have my usual breakfast of tamale or burrito peppers and chinese noodles. I was a bit surprised and pleased by the time I got to the bus stop that I had recouped some of the time that was lost so I in the best tradition a fast food I was served and on my way matter of minutes.. I got my breakfast ago heading back to the bus stop. I figured I would eat my breakfast under the overhang one of the buildings for a keep an eye on the bus stop. 

I tried to eat my sausage biscuit under the awning outside Starbucks but the rain was too great I was get getting soaked I was forced inside the coffee temple. I looked pathetic eating my biscuit from the arches as the paper bag begin to disintegrate around my hands holding my little biscuit.

Sitting by the door trying desperately not to be obtrusive I was startled when one of the baristas tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I would like something to drink. I sheepishly huddled over night make your breakfast sandwich explaining to the barista I was ok that I was just getting out of the rain and waiting for my bus. Now, you have to remember I go to the Starbucks regularly, the morning staff know me. Cindy good morning manager came over and she asked me if I would like a latte or coffee and then she said it would be on the house! What could I say I looked at my clock and figured I would have the time so I said sure . It was about this time I noticed are young woman, standing at my bus stop getting drenched. I had a flash of an idea , as long as someone anyone was at the bus stop the bus I would have time to step out and board the vehicle when the bus stopped. The best part would be not have to stare my chair clock every few seconds.

I smugly returned to my coffee. I even, for one moment, thought about getting a coffee for the young miss taking the train for me but just as quick dismiss the idea for lack of time inconvenience.

The last I had looked at my clock I had about six minutes which seems like eons when watching the clock. I glanced up and witnessed the 0938 go crashing by my bus stop!!! What? Obviously my little drenched rat had had enough and gave up with out telling me—noone was at the stop-I HAD MISSED MY BUS.

I deserved what I got. I got humbled and good. I had to call Dianne who dropped everything and came out n a raining mourning and drive my sorry ass into the train station. I made my train and got to my meeting on time an oh I gave Dianne my coffee...she deserves so much more.

Sunday Night Serenity

Blog March 02,2014

Its Sunday, the first Sunday of the month and that means it time for me to write letters. Currently I am writing two of my grand daughters and daughter,who live in Salem Oregon. I have yet to meet these two in the flesh. Luckily I have been able to see and visit with them over the phone and through the miracle of the INTERNET. I like writing to them or anyone on a regular basis. I started with my mom in the last years of her life when she lived in another state, then I wrote to friend who ended up in a long term care facility in North Carolina. I like the way writing on a schedule sort of disciplines me-- and kinda makes look like a nice guy. I am not a not a nice guy but the merits of my personality is fodder for another post.

I noted in my letter to Michelle that I still was having the Sunday afternoon anxiety I would experience when I worked full time. I now pleasantly dismiss the thoughts remembering I am retired and do not have to sweat the monday morning trauma. Fortunately for me I have a volunteer position at 211 where I answer phones every Monday for an eight hour shift. Granted an hour shift Monday morning may feel like work but it is not. I love getting up early with somewhere to be; going to the coffee shop, catching the bus and then the train and rolling the two blocks to my building. I love the opportunities I have to communicate with all the people on the way into work then with the folk at my office. These people are genuinely glad to see me. I choose to be there, and they know that I choose to be there. Whats more I can pretty much leave when I want or need too. I do not have to meet any quotas or attend any trainings and best of all have my performance evaluated. I just show up. I now enjoy my Sunday nights and even look forward to Monday and week to come.

March 2014

I think that of any month I am most happy to see March arrive, with all the sass and gusto. The first of March generally exhibits such drama, such vitality and a need to straighten out mess and clutter out after winter. I noticed the tulips have sent out the first leaves of the season in the flower beds in the front of the house and those yellow flowers as well. These early risers will get snowed on and even froze down maybe—if they do, however, they will return and return with a vengeance. I can also see the beginnings of the first buds on the trees in the front yard. They are going to bloom early, silly things they always do they never learn but enough blooms will survive to produce plumbs later in the Summer making Dianne and the birds happy things.

Dianne and her sister went to the market yesterday and brought home March food specifically a nice sized corned beef roast or what that cut of meat is called and a couple of heads of cabbage. We will dutifully cook this on St Patty's day and play like we're Irish. I hope there will be enough corned beef left over to make into hash—I loved corned beef hash, especially real hash—though I do love the 'dog food' looking stuff out of the can as well.

I find the feel of the day change totally from one day to he next—everything looks a little fresher, brighter and hope full on rising this March morning. It has to be psychological because nothing has really changed except for a little wind and some intermittent clouds. Technically we are still in winter but that is only on the calendar hanging in the bathroom—the birds outside my window are singing their brains out looking for someone and somewhere to mate, the birds are saying “Its Spring” and I am going to support the birds and their statements.

The days are cool and will continue for the next couple of week. All this week I have not really been wearing a coat when I have been out on the tarmac riding the trains and buses. I carried my heavy hooded sweatshirt draped round my shoulders or the head rest of my power-chair—and I confess I slipped the sweatshirt on for my ride home from Wellness. I settled for comfort and I was comfortable all the way home but the rest of the week I was jacket free and I felt great.

We have started the ritual of spring cleaning and Dianne is beginning to think about getting out in the garage and start pulling the tools out needed to help the dirt in the garden get ready to receive the seeds we will be planting this year with high hopes of produce in late summer and Fall. The seasons are changing and I am I feeling the awaking and I am excited to have these feelings—I am more excited to be alive once again to witness the change all is good.