Happy Holidays

As many of you know especially those who have kept up on my Facebook account,I am going through some major personal challenges right now many of which are directly related to aging with spinal cord injury or SCI. All of a sudden about five weeks ago a have begin steadily losing my independence or my physical independence my ability to do and live independently as I had all my life even with spinal cord injury. Little things (which are actually major things) like transferring from my power chair into my manual chair for transferring from my manual chair onto the bed or be able to dress myself. For whatever reason I was not able to lift my leg anymore which I need to do to get my socks and shoes on. I also began to perceive pain in my left arm – – and this isn't really new information – – a left-sided is my strong side so I tend to overuse it or more accurately abuse my left arm. The problem is when I do that inflame my AC joint on the left side I am left unable to do the things I've outlined above. About the same time I started the use of baclofen a medication used to calm spasticity. My spasticity is never been an issue to the point where I needed to seek intervention from medicine. I did have a fairly significant UTI in those weeks which I figured had exhibited itself with spasticity strong spasms so strong I began to be concerned and so for the first time I began baclofen which I have to admit at certain times the reduction in spasticity has been quite an eye opener to me. Now my UTIs aside I really believe my spasms are getting worse for whatever reason. My healthcare provider started me out and lowest dosage possible a baclofen and I was slow to increase the dosage until I saw my healthcare provider. The problem was that Dianne is not getting any sleep because of bouncing literally bouncing all over the bed at night. Weirdly, my spasms don't tend to exhibit themselves until I lay down. That the spasms descend on me in waves. If I can get my legs up under my chest I've noted that I can get my leg spasms to settle down.

So, with the preceding information I set up time to visit with by Doc see what can be done. I have to bet I am pretty defeated right now. But I did meet with her it was a good meeting. She gave me permission to take literally as much baclofen is I think that I need and that is made a big difference I think in my ability sleep. The doc also ordered major tests, she had me take it picture of my neck that very afternoon off to radiology I went.. The next day I was back at radiology for an MRI. The MRI was freaky something I do not want to do again soon. Now reports begin to trickle in and the reports are so freaking barely stand it.

I broke my neck at the C3 C4 C5 C6 area. They fused my back anteriorly at the C5 C6 level. Explain to me at the time that small plates, steel plates were screwed right to the spinal column where the problems were. They removed his tip of my rib round into a paste which they then plastered over the fusion. I really figured that was the end of that. But what they have found is that superior screw (whatever the hell that means) is backing itself out! It says it's about 7 mm into the pre-vertebral soft tissues. The screw is coming out! How stupid is that!?! I've no idea what that means. I don't know if that means I have to have surgery to have that screw pushed back inare taken out completely.

Next week I have a urology consult to see if anything can be done about my perpetual UTI. Who knows what they're going to find. Again I'm having some pain on my upper left shoulder which I believe is related to my back and increased scoliosis.Dianne has been very supportive through this whole medical re-opening of biomedical past. Oh! I also am trying to get back into the Wellness program at University rehab. This is a long story probably a long post and I'll know more about that in a few days. I think once I get working out again regularly I'll strengthen my left side to the point where I hope to be able to do my own transfers and other ADLs. I'm going to have to explore any and all other remedies to some of these issues maybe even to the point of finding some form of assistance like a homecare nurse all the way some form of assisted living.These are all big decisions which are really change my life.

Busy Week

Today ends what  seems to me to be a super busy week. Beginning Monday with follow-up dental appointment where I had two cavities addressed and finished so I am done with the dentist for at least six months.Then I had medical appointments at the University medical Center. I'm trying to get to the bottom of the spasticity I've been during the last couple weeks if any of the issues or problems I might be having. Today I will be at the Utah Independent living Center where I will be doing my yearly the trail of Santa Claus. Yeah I know kind of corny but something I have kind of look forward to doing.. It's a little thing seems to be a lot to a lot of people and it makes you and I really need that.

Time is short and I need to get busy dressing… Which I will have to explain later post about how my deficits continue to degrade my ability to be independent which is freaking the hell out me. This is also another post to be written soon. Just suffice to say I'm going to need every bit about time I have starting now at 1022 make my commitment by 1 o'clock, just to weird. More to come…

Insomnia, The New Normal

Another night of no sleep – – I was able to do some resting know and I hope that is just as good. I finally dragged myself out of bed around 7 AM when daylight was creeping in the west windows of our bedroom. However I must admit, for the record, the night before I actually got five or six hours of sleep which seems huge on a morning like today. I'm so grateful for the rest I got Friday night Saturday morning. With this added energy I was able to take part in Dianne's birthday luncheon at our favorite Asian food restaurant, the Shanghai Cafe. The place has great vegetable dishes in the Thai/Chinese traditions, fairly large portions and relatively good service. The place is fairly accessible wheelchair dining so it's a no-brainer for us. You have gigantic eggrolls, the best in Salt Lake and the biggest Salt Lake that I've ever seen. It's always a fun place to eat pretty authentic I always try to try new things when I'm there but I always end up going back to green pepper and beef broccoli dishes they're relatively safe. We had a great time dining with Bridget, Gabriel, Asher and Anakah or B A G A. I wish other family members could have been present but it never seems to work that way. It was great seeing Anakah, the adolescent, she is so involved in her life, which is the way it should be. Ancients like us love to share with students of the young one's lives we can. So for a short moment in time we all came together in a great meal and great experience in the memory to add to our pocket full of memories you carry around day-to-day.

Dianne loves secondhand stores so, as part of my gift is small and shallow as it is was was to hit a couple of these places on the way home. I actually had ulterior motives in that we were out the day before and I noticed someone's Steven King collection had made it to the bookshelves. Couple years ago I gave away one of my favorite Steven King's Hearts in Atlantis and I was excited when I saw this volume at the secondhand store. We got a few things in front of a home and spent the rest of the evening watching old movies. I really would've liked to have done more for Diane's birthday whatever's going on with me is not only sapping my creativity and energy levels .

I tried to get an appointment with my primary care provider which is sort of a joke. I am going to have to maintain this bizarre lifestyle until January 5which is the earliest appointment I could get. I left word how frightened I am how emergent I think the need is to hopefully one of the nurses will get back with me at least advise me as to what I could do in the meantime short of showing up at the ER which is something I do not want to. But I'm alive today and I'm grateful for that, clouds came in overnight temperatures dropped and there was a skiff of snow over everything this morning I got up and it looks like more snow is falling now. Not much but kind of the first know the season.

December !

When did it become 11 December? Like everything else this month is going way too fast and I'm not getting anything accomplished despite the beautiful weather. I seem to be just getting by and that is saying a lot. I continue to battle the spasms and my cherished independence. It's weird, I don't know what is happening all of a sudden I'm losing the ability to do things that traditionally have had no issue with doing. Major case in point transferring from my power chair to my manual chair . I've had to call him Dianne every night this past couple weeks to assist me in not falling out of my manual was able to do before. I know I am scaring Dianne to pieces and I don't know what to do. I don't see how this related to my spasticity but it might be. I believe it's time to contact my care provider and see what can be done. Add to this my ongoing inability to sleep. This is really getting tense. I can't write it off as an age thing, though I'm sure agents of the do with it.

This week I have been able to make my appointments. I even spent some time under the drill yesterday which went off without a hitch. I cannot believe I lived so much terror, all my life, regarding the dentist. I'm going to attribute this to my experience with Dr. Froggly – – by earliest experience that I can remember with a dentist – – possibly a brother Ross used to scan us not out of me regarding everything and especially the dentist with the needle in the eye. Now, even on the day I know it's going to be a drill day I just roll right in tilt the chair back and let the DOC go to work . I still have one sitting left which will be on Monday. Two cavities to be filled then I'll be done way in time for Christmas and the new year I am so thankful.

Now, I need to get the girls Christmas packages off hopefully in time for the holiday. Still need to do something for my grandkids here in Utah as well's the rest of the family.

I'm exhausted I must get some sleep.

Scared To Death

I am really beginning to freak out regarding spasticity thing I'm going through. It's been more than a week now and I really haven't seen a whole lot of progress with the spasticity issues. True, I began taking the medication as prescribed on the ball. I was taking the about half that much of the baclofen and I must admit I think taking the prescribed dosage has been more productive than I would've imagined. It took less than the prescribed amount because I didn't want to get totally addicted to baclofen or the muscle relaxant or whatever it is. I wanted to give the prescribed dosage a shot before I ran to my healthcare provider like chicken Little with my head in my hands screaming the sky was falling. I think to some degree I am begins sleep through the night better. However bear in mind when I started taking the prescribed back he found I was also on an antibiotic or UTI. The regimen has run its course now Don scared to death that I'm just going to come inundated with another UTI. Just have it be hypervigilant and I hate being hypervigilant. So I'm really not sleeping all that good and I think is beginning to wear on Dianne plus all the other stuff I'm scared her to death. I just don't know what to do she does not know what to do we do not know except now I guess it's time to make an appointment with my healthcare provider cross my fingers and hope for the best.

Some of the things I can explore which might assist with the spasms might be one going back and getting to physical therapy. Some rail physical therapy where the action stretcher. It's some of the postings I've read on the Internet regarding spasticity has indicated a good stretching the greatly assist in downplaying the spasms it has been a number of decades since I had any real physical therapy and like I said I'm at a point where anything is worth a shot. Also, I may seriously have to look at getting some sort of assistance i.e. people to come in and assist with either bathing, dressing and who knows what else to get by. You know it's not that I don't know about this kind of stuff, it's not like I have not recommended this exact same solution to many others over the years. I just am having trouble looking into the same stuff for me. Maybe it's time though even the bathing aspect once a week would be great.

I've also developed some sort of information in the muscle tissue up by left side up in the shoulder. I think this pain has manifested itself from the fact that I use this left side so much in my transfers and my repositioning myself all through the day when I'm in my manual chair. I think I've insult of that side just one too many times and is now letting me know. I'm addressing the issue with ibuprofen which seems to get me by but I've noticed it is really taking a long time to get dressed.

Now need to get top my sleep situation if I could do that I think I'll be getting close to where I was at before I start having issues with my personal independence. You know it's scaring me to death

And So Begins December

I'm feeling thankful today, I passed a good night. I passed a night that I wasn't up thrashing thrashing and crashing my body was wracked spasms massive spasms, spasms so bad they literally tossing me all over the bed. Dianne was terrified as was I. About a week ago I went in to the dock was diagnosed with UTI. I figured I had a UTI, I always have you it's only when you get severe to the point that UTI begins interfering with my life. It wasn't really bad as my UTI experience goes but I could tell something was wrong I thought well heck is soon get on top of this. The Doc gave me a prescription which I got filled started the regimen . In the past seemed whatever I started description a lot of the symptoms vanish not so this time around. It seemed whenever I would lie down I would start a series of spasms which would get pretty aggressive. And I really did not tie them in directly to the UTI and even now I'm not sure how much of an impact the UTI had with the spasms. Dianne also found an abrasion between my scrotum in my leg which looks pretty bad enough so that had be medicated and conceivably could be painful enough to cause spasms. Now all the time I was taking baclofen which I have been doing for five months now. I hate taking medications that I flopped off taking baclofen for as long as I could. I started taking the muscle relaxer because I was getting significant spasms and the doctor talked me into taking the med. And I have to mid I was impressed first they are so taking the medication because I saw a significant decrease in my spastic behavior.. Then about 3 to 4 weeks ago I started noticing those having more and more difficulty sleeping through the night. I mean I don't sleep that much anyway but I get enough sleep to get by but now I was having severe spasms can be up a good part of the night. Fortunately my spasms are not necessarily painful and what I would think would be painful they are a bit uncomfortable as I experienced a great deal of leg stretching and some abdominal stretching and a been doing this we are behavior where the spasm will pull my body into a ball so tight I can barely breathe in the scares's does not out of me! I literally enforced to be taking shallow breaths and tried to relax my body for the spasm to relinquish its grip. So Saturday night I did not sleep at all not from Saturday night when I went to bed to Sunday morning and though I was groggy to the day I made it okay. Something to changed I didn't know if I felt better or just exactly what but I was feeling the spasticity was getting better. What is been disheartening with this spasticity is that I would tend not feel are experience the spasms while I was in my chair during the day but the second I lay down in the evening to sleep my spasms would start. Last night this did not happen and went to bed just laid there and felt good. I spent the whole night without spasms well not great spasms. I was up once or twice during the night to drain but sadly that's typical. I think I woke up around 6 o'clock and started my day. This is great. Now the problem I have was when I was going through the storm of spasms I committed to contacting my healthcare provider to begin an examination of what the problem might be. I'm kind of thinking that maybe the Bactrim which is the medication prescribed for the UTI is finally kicked in. Now, I should see a diminishing of the spastic behavior. With the threat eliminated do I still need to see my physician? The adult thing to do would be yes make an appointment see my doc and see if I need to adjust my meds begin some other kind of rehabilitation or something. We honest with you see my doc is almost as bad as having the spasms. Once they get a hold of you – – they being the medical system who knows where you will and up.

Happy first of December. Got about half my letters out and am glad to be December. I'm glad to be alive I'm glad to be functional and I look forward to celebrating the holidays.