Writers Guild and Voices In The Night

Biological mom and dad

Today was what we used to call writers Guild, two writers in whatever I am which meet every couple months talk about be used to think how we're all progressing on our writing careers. Of course only one member of the group was actually getting paid to write on a daily basis. I cannot say the writers Guild has devolved into a social gathering of friends who love to be together and this is the rationale that allows us to do such. We do talk about What we're doing in the area of art or literature. Jerry is always doing something exotic and usually has a book he's just finished or one he is contemplating starting. Lori is just always in the middle of something literarily exotic. She's pretty focused on the play she is just written and I guess produced in work-shopped . If I'm lucky I'm either reporting on my newfound family and how I've coping or how I've found what art style I seem to a fallen into by happenstance. I trust these people probably is much such as my family (real or adopted) that's pretty cool.

Like today it seemed I was all about downplaying any any involvement with the new family. This is good for me to hear myself talk about this stuff with other people because then I realize where I'm at with the situation. I don't necessarily know where I'm at and tell I can verbally bounced off my friends of the writing Guild. Today I learned him relatively indifferent As to my natural family, my bloods. I'm even beginning to find myself distancing myself from specific members. I don't know if they embarrass me or I'm embarrassed being related to them. I do not necessarily like myself feeling this way but certainly seems to be a trend. In fact at one point I was really thinking about one of the “found” brothers who lives in Sacramento who is expressed verbally that he wants nothing to do with this familial organization which has found itself. I was thinking maybe this guy is right this guy hasn't together enough to say leave me alone, my adopted family which, by the way, is MY real family.

I did share one other thing with my “literary” family, today at lunch, and that's the tendency I have to experience what I have to characterize as auditory hallucinations. I was kind surprised because I really haven't shared this with anyone else primarily because I haven't thought of it as a problem is much is just an interesting anomaly that I experience periodically. I noticed a number of months ago or maybe years ago that sometimes as I'm in that twilight dream state I will sometimes hear things for instance often now here three knocks as if on a door knock knock knock. Like that scene from Matrix When the guys in front of his computer and the computer reads “knock knock knock” and suddenly hears that sound. The first time I heard the sound I actually thought some is that the door. I talked myself out of checking it out but I kind of thought there was somebody out there knocking on the door. A couple of nights ago I was in the dream state had barely gotten asleep when I heard “what you looking at Mark!”. I was totally startled out as a sleep. I am almost sure the voice that I heard was that of my mother's. I have to admit I was kind of spooked and then I just started churning about what if I was schizophrenic or psychotic and having auditory hallucinations? What if there really was somebody in there, another personality, trying to come out are finally coming out. But that person/thing wanted to control me. It didn't take long for me to start possibly freaking out but eventually exhaustion one out and I tumbled back into a fairly decent sleep. But I share this with the group and they were very supportive which I appreciated a great deal. They didn't try to talk me out of my ideations of mental illness but the same time did reinforce me with the idea that they had experienced similar situations and they thought it was relatively normal. Like a drowning man thrown a life preserver I clung on to their thoughts and statements and got back to my life. We agreed to meet again in the next month or so as soon as Jerry gets back from spring training, and Lori hones her play and I make a few more bookmarks and hope for hallucinatory free nights…

We Are All In This Together

I'm not really sure how to approach this entry, in fact I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the whole idea of what is happening here at this complex and senior centers everywhere. Remember a number of years ago after I first moved into this joint, Plymouth view apartments, a senior housing project offered through Utah Non-Profit Agency. Utah Non-Profit space is a private nonprofit agency which I'm on the board of directors and have been for decades. I was really lucky to have this place and to have the wheelchair accessible you open when I needed it. But I groused after I'd been here a couple weeks about the fact that I cannot get into the weight room to use any of the equipment because the equipment was for people who are able-bodied. I had this initial complaint when I still lived in Murray and was trying to really start using them are senior center but again they have a lot of great equipment but none that I could use in a wheelchair. I stopped going to the Murray Center and then I had to move over here to Taylorsville.

Yesterday I was having coffee with my good friend Lori B and I was carrying on again about the unfairness of the situation. I don't know if Lori said something or something I said pushed the image and the focus a little bit more. I keep thinking/believing that the senior housing projects are for folks who are just beyond the age of 62 and that's it. Sure, I know the yet to be able take care yourself but if one cannot and has the means are systems in place for healthcare for help and assistance for getting up, toileting and bathing and why not. I realized that not only management but other residents here/my neighboll have to livers see that people with mobility impairments are the exception to the rule for living here when in fact it's just the opposite if you think about it. Everyone, as they age, will become infirmed and disabled. They will have to have supports the one sort or another. And this could be a whole bunch of people aging into infirmity in the next couple years whose only option is going to be long-term care and it should not have to be that that is the only choice. I mean really, I don't know why this accessible apartment was open when I needed it but certainly thankful that the apartment was open. I've been thinking about what I'm going to do when I have to move to some other living situation for however long it's going to take to fix the bathroom/shower in my unit now. I was really concerned about five to go to another apartment here at Plymouth View how would I do that? I think I could do it if I just had a shower bench I could put in the tub and slide over like I used to. I don't know if I will have this option. Again, the point being I think there are only two accessible (wheelchair) units in this facility. Every one of them should be accessible to wheelchair or otherwise.

I'm fortunate because I have a hand bike that I use or an arm bike which allows me to work out daily. I also have a rickshaw out on the patio that I can use and better weather and if our smart I would move The rickshaw in to either my room or talk the management to take out one of the standing machines in the exercise room and have the rickshaw available to not only me but anyone else who wanted to set and work out both for arm strength as well as respiratory. I don't think that's going happen? Support the idea that the option should be available. Since I'm on the board of directors this will be my campaign for the next year so. But at least here at Utah nonprofit we can make a better option for people with disabilities significant to the point that they cannot use standard exercise equipment. After all were all in this aging thing together we should have the right to go through this aging thing together…

Passing The Test

Perhaps the gauge of a good cleaning person is how long it takes to locate missing items after the cleaning persons visitation. One cannot draw this conclusion immediately following “cleaning day”. I am often to overwhelmed on how the pleading person pulled off the miracle of cleaning the chaos of my living environment. This is no small feat especially since this was the second visit from my clean person following a duration of approximately 7 months since by other cleaning person left. True, I'm grateful to two children is for friends and brother who has stepped in and helped keep my place livable. Everything from washing the floors to vacuuming the rugs. Now however, I have Gail coming on a regular basis that should make all the difference. I was concerned that Gail would not be able to do the job and that I was going to not be getting my money's worth but I was wrong. It's just that the chaos was so severe is taking a couple of visits just to get a fair amount of order from the chaos.

I think I noticed first Sunday night tonight I made the chicken noodle soup. It was time to seriously clean the kitchen which had been ravished by a cooking maniac. I'd made steak onions and eggs for breakfast and that frying pan had been put to soak as had been cutting board impeachments of dissection and assorted will used coffee cups. I ran a sink of hot water and submerged pots and pans cups and implements soak them for a few minutes then realized I did not have anything to wash with. I've been using a scratcher you know the kind of foam on one side for soap and on the other side rough plastic to use as a scraper for cooked on food and stain. I actually had a relatively new scratcher but it was nowhere to be found and then I suddenly remembered Gail asking the status of a scratcher that she'd found dried up, scrawny looking and probably look somewhat diseased. I said for her to toss it and I think she globalized the command all scratchers on the sinks. I'm sure she threw my other scratcher away, the good one. I used a washcloth from the bathroom closet. I have a number washcloth used to save with a couple more ragged than the others. One of these will make a fine washcloth I mean after all I'm sure washcloth reviews long before pot scratchers, metal/plastic came into vogue. I remember washing full sinks of Thanksgiving dinner dishes with cousins using only a washcloth and elbow grease.

So again I asked the question what is the gauge of a good housekeeper? For me the gauge of a good housekeeper is one that knows enough and has the courage to throw away any rag, rusted pot scratcher are plastic foam pad that looks to be the finest Trump germ hotel.I am blessed beyond fortune to have the best housekeeper in Utah.

Frture Time

Last night was a weird night. It's almost as if all of my nights are now a little strange. I kind of thrashed all around my bed the first part of the night. I really thought I was going to sleep fairly well. This morning be in Monday morning means I have to get up at six because the home health person Dana comes about 7 AM sometimes if I'm lucky a little early either way I like to be up and ready when she gets here. I had everything ready for bed by the time I was ready to get into bed. Once again, I'd watched too much television IE Netflix and it was going to be 12 o'clock by the time I finally rolled into the little bad and even later by the time I got finished is by mandatory 10 pages.

I checked to make sure I had my cell phone (I had actually forgotten my cell the night before. I was too tired Saturday night to get up and go find my cell phone. I did have a tablet next to my bed and it was charged so in the event that I did run into some kind of trouble I would be able to contact somebody perhaps not as readily as with the cell phone but I felt secure enough to make it through the night which I did. But I was sure last night that I had it with me it was only when I rolled in the bedand went to raise the had the bad that I realized that the wheel on my chair was squarely on the wire or cord of my hand set which operates the functions of my electric/power bed. I can get enough slack to where I could actuate the bed up and down in such but I just didn't have the degree of freedom that I generally enjoyed having a very long line on my hand device. I guess I should've gotten up into my chair and move the whole thing but I was going to try to make it through. This of course puts a layer of stress on me that I feel must affect my sleeping process.

It took longer than usual for me to settle down after I finished reading. Had untangled my legs and gotten them situated the way that I wanted. Try to get some elevation on my head and make sure the covers had my upper body covered so I wasn't too cold – – I turned the temperature down way down for me so the apartment is cool in the morning when Dana gets here. One time I left the heat it 78° in a totally freaked her out almost causing her to get sick. – – When I finally got to sleep I was awake at 2:30 AM the earliest I've been awake all week. I had to pee and got that out of the way and spent the rest of the night “time jumping”. Time jumping is going to sleep and waking up anywhere from a few minutes, to an hour to a couple hours later. Because it seems just a snap of time between one and the next it feels like I'm always jumping forward 2:45 A.m., 3:05 AM, 3:42 AM, until 6 AM. I felt like I could've slept longer probably a lot longer but I needed to be up and have my basics done by the time did not gets here. It's not really time travel the kind feels that way and I like that. I was worried that I'd be to drug out the day to really do anything but I consoled myself by thinking I could take a nap if I needed to.

I'd make coffee, and I'd shaved and is about ready to make my bed when something told me to check my cell phone. And sure enough there was a message on Messenger, Dana was sick. She wasn't sure if she would even make it today but if she did it would be like 11 AM or later. I message her back late that I messaged Dana back And told her that was okay that I could probably even last until Tuesday morning. She said she probably would be better than the later tonight when I checked my cell I saw that she left another message that she'll be here tomorrow at 6:30 AM. Tuesdays are usually asleep in day for me but I have a strong suspicion of robbery time traveling again tonight…

Illusions of Summer

I finished the soup today. The process is a bit intimidating but not too bad. I pulled the partially prepared soup out of the refrigerator. But the soup and one of my better pots, one with a lid, I also left out one of the baggies full of soup about a little less the quart turned on the heat and went to work on a big old potato. I thought about using one of the new carrots I purchased yesterday but you know I'm okay with the carrots that were in their look okay just the right amount of color. I did peel the tater and diced the spud and tossed the bits into the vat, added some paprika and dried parsley. I had a bowl of the soup for dinner, I even had a piece of the artesian bread I got at the food bank. It was a good dinner but I have to watch it I can really start putting on weight and that's the last thing I want to do.

Earlier Mark Anthony came over second week in a row and I really appreciated his attention. We actually got a large flatscreen I inherited from Janet couple years ago that was never looked at till today. The flatscreen has lots of potential. We just now have to figure out how to anchor it so is secure and usable. Either get a stand and use it like I'm using this screen now or get a device that will attach to the wall and put it in the bedroom. Either way it should be interesting to see what we do. Now that we've actually plugged the screen in and figured out that works and works fairly well I'm looking forward to actually using the screen. The flatscreen is old technology and really I should just save little bit a screen of comparable size would cost and install that screen, a new screen, with all its whistles and bells but that is the lesson I think I'm still learning. For example, I found a three CD-ROM Emerson stereo set on the sharing shelf yesterday morning early as I was washing clothes I'd drug the stereo back to my apartment really thinking I might use it one way or another. Today, Mark Anthony plugged it in and of course the CD player did not work and I didn't check to see if the cassettes worked. Mark Anthony actually took the top off the CD player since the tray would not slide out and goofed around with it a little bit and got it working. There is actually a CD in the tray. He actually got the CD to spin and play. We spent an inordinate amount of time on the project for a piece of cheap technology. I am going to let the piece go either to the garbage or Desert Industries. Probably to the dumpster because the we else needs the problems that the junkie little Emerson Would create. We actually cleaned out some closets or closet and move some heavy things to larger awkward for me to wrangle.

Last night I went to the market and got ice cream, low-calorie chocolate ice cream bars and they even had the double stick popsicles I've been waiting for almost a year to come in. It's a little cold right now to really enjoy popsicles but perhaps if I turn the heat up in the apartment and hold my head or mouth just right and maybe I can produce an illusion of summer.

Laundry, chicken Soup and Happy Birthday

I made chicken soup today are actually I started making chicken soup today. I'm talking basic. This is the first time I have ever really made chicken soup from scratch and it seems the coming along quite nicely. Remember last week or couple weeks ago when one of my neighbors foisted a chicken on me? I cut the chicken and half and used part of it and then froze the other half. I just stuck have to chicken in a freezer bag and threw it in the top of the refrigerator. I've been thinking ever sense that I wanted to use the remaining chicken to make soup. This was especially the case last week when I felt that I was coming down with some form of sore throat, luckily for me that passed but not my desire to make chicken soup.

I actually looked up on the Internet a couple of recipes for chicken soup. I also looked up the process on how to render chicken stock for the remains of the bird. It seems kind of straightforward maybe a little complicated but I woke up this morning, again very early, and begin to ruminate on making the chicken soup. I realize it's a long process actually to do it right. So I figured it being Saturday why not commit to the whole day for the process. Seriously, 6:35 AM I was I traipsing around on the second floor of the apartment complex using the front loader washer. The front loader in my laundry on this floor was out of order – – or so the sign says – – so I figured I would use the front loader on the second story. It's weird, I've never used the laundry facilities on the second floor seems like I am a interloper. I don't think there are any issues as far as having to use the laundry on the floor you live but still I felt a tad uncomfortable.

With the laundry finished I ended my procrastination and begin the process of deboning the chicken I was pleased the process went quickly. I separated the biggest pieces of meat from the bones. The breast or half a breast, the wing and leg and thigh. Where I could I removed the skin. Finally, I'm sure could do a better job saved a lot more meat but I'd gotten the big pieces off that was good enough for me. I actually pulled down the kettle I purchased from the polygamist store I purchased a couple years ago. This was the first time I'd ever used the vessel. But the carcass in the kettle and filled it with water and set it on the stove, a section up and onion, smashed a couple garlic's, threw in some carrots and put the whole thing to boil. I finally got that finished around 10:30 AM once I brought the boil and then set the pot to simmer where it stayed for the rest of the day. What an unbelievable older if produced in my apartment.

Around 7:00 PM I fished out the bones ran the boil through a strainer pulled out as many vegetables I could set them aside and is going to make the soup but sort of ran out of gas. I'd had enough of soup making for the day. I got an idea though. I'm going to take about half of the stock and freeze it for soup are whatever on another day and then save the rest for tomorrow while making chicken soup adding a couple more carrots and potatoes.

The soup is cooling now and soon a put it away. It's been a good day. I washed clothes hung and folded, made soup and wished by granddaughter happy birthday via the Internet today was a good day…

Slacker

I'm a slacker! Today I'm a slacker I only went 6/10 of a mile in my power chair and I don't care. It seems I've gained a kilogram of weight since I weighed the middle of the week. Today is 101 .7 kg and on Wednesday I was 100.7 kg which in effect is 2 pounds. Dana, home health person and kind of weight coach encourages me by saying this was the weight for food eaten three days to a week ago. I really want to believe her and I do to a certain degree but the challenge of keeping the weight off is just that and never ending challenge. I don't know if this frustration of weight gain has led to my day of being a slacker and certainly cannot help.

In my defense of not wasting the entire day I did go to a Social Security/Medicare presentation put on by one of the local ambulance chaser organizations IE insurance reps named Shane. These presentations are arranged by our social worker type person Annie I like Annie a lot but in the end she's got a job to do and I appreciate that and one of those tasks of her job description is making opportunities to enlighten the residents of the facility Of positive options and opportunities. I know by the end of the year when she goes to her yearly evaluation she has to show X amount of presentations arranged for the apartment dwellers of Plymouth view. Today was bottled water, pizza and cookies. I turned on the cookies but I took two pieces of pizza which I feel so weak for having done so. Going back to the first paragraph it will not weigh well with my body. I almost took images of the event today but I just could not bring myself to document the session. Had flashbacks of what's his name in the Music Man I want to say Robert Preston but are you a you know the guy comes to the River city and sells everybody on musical instruments and stressed-out band uniforms. That's what Shane does stands in front of a bunch of old ladies, feeds and pizza and promises of them more money or services that he can find because he knows more about Medicare programs and hidden pockets of money that he could help the folks find. He takes names, room numbers and phone numbers and sets up appointments that he can meet with each resident to go over there plan. I'd like to think he's right but I've gone to these harebrained cases before only to be saddened at the end to of been played by a flimflam man with boxes of chainstore pizzas.

It's Friday again! I have to confess I'm a bit concerned about how quickly the weeks are flying by. I'm feeling pretty good, no loose to speak of, I'm strong in the days are beginning to finally warm just a little. I have a housekeeper who seems to know what she's doing and is affordable. I'm going to refer my health person to the housekeeper and hopefully both of them will be happy alley to is happy as I am. I doubt if I'm going anywhere this weekend but I did defrost half a chicken I threw in the freezer last week and I think I might enjoy some homemade chicken soup even if I'm not sick.

Retreat!

When I woke up this morning around 3:30 AM I really thought I was coming down with something. I felt sniffly and seem to have some challenges in catching her breath of air through my nose IE clogged the up. But I stayed in bed till about 6:30 AM by the time I got up is feeling fairly decent totally surprised. I was about ready to cancel the whole day. Energized by the good nights sleep I surprisingly realize that did not have any one dollar bills got dressed and headed across the street to the coffee shop to buy a cup of coffee (pathetically since I am going to coffee social at 9:30 AM). So I bought a small cup of coffee cashing the $20. A dollar in the tip jar to head back to the apartments.

With some regret I canceled my appearance at bookclub this afternoon. It was the Utah Nonprofit Housing Corporation (UNPHC ) retreat. A 4 to 5 hour event started at one in the afternoon Starting with some kind of a lunch. Supposedly, lunch is to be catered but finding out that catering means summering sandwiches cut in 4 inch sections, with assorted chips and vegetables and cookies at the end. It was where I needed to be however. I've been on this board of directors for over a decade and like most boards that I currently sit on I initially became involved when I was working and that was part of my job description to work with other agencies and programs that serve to folks with disabilities. I was sort of surprised at myself at how much I was involved in this year's retreat. Usually I sit on the back row and just suffer through the event that this year I actually made comment particularly around the concept of how disability was represented in the housing and of Utah nonprofit. I am immensely thankful that the project has followed the letter of the law which states for every X amount of units built Y must be accessible and it's usually something like for every 20 units one must be accessible. I was really fortunate the place where I'm living now is accessible when I needed a place to crash. But in the course of the meeting as we went through what was offered I think we offer over 1000 apartments in the state of Utah. If my memory serves me correctly 5% would need to be accessible seems like numbers greater than that I'll have to look it up Whatever the number is we're not close to the number of accessible units and especially not wheelchair accessible units i.e. role in shower etc. It dawned on me that there are a lot of folks with disabilities, coming down the pike and I mean physical disabilities. I'm a little concerned that my organization will count mental health/DD population folks who are ambulatory and do not necessarily need accessible living scenarios. However, as the baby boomers advance forget about spinal cord injury but stroke and other neurological insults are going to happen in these folks are going to need accessible units… Unless management thinks they're going to go directly to long-term care and not be housed in the community. I hate to feel pessimistic but I think As I begin to open my eyes My organization does not understand the importance of living in the community with supports and keep in out of long-term care for those who do not wish to go into long-term care. Interesting, how do I do this? I think I need to really think about what it's going to take to bring these people around to my kind of thinking if indeed they can. Maybe they don't want to hear the truth about what's coming down to what's available and how this is going to affect everyone and maybe I have been placed here for a reason. Who the hell knows…?

Pine-Sol Wednesday

Nothing completes the illusion of cleanliness more than rolling in to the apartment and smelling Pine-Sol. My cleaning lady finally was able to show up for work today. She's been quite ill for the last couple weeks and that they got back in the saddle and was over to my place for some cleaning. Maggie's great! Maggie used to be my home health provider. She assisted me in using the bathroom and then later my shower at the house – – when I still lived in the house. Maggie is older than I am and I'm very old. I think she said she was 74. She's a young 74 she does all kinds of things which impressed me mainly she continues to work. She square dances and she's fairly active in her senior center. Up until a couple of months ago she was working fairly regularly with the nursing service I currently use. However, she had to take some time I ever for an operation I think something like that but she informs me that though the nursing service that she worked for continues to keep her on file them not given or any work to speak of.

I've always liked Maggie she very unique. So, I kept in touch with her after Dianne and I split up. In fact Maggie came over a couple times when I first moved in to bring me small housewarming type gifts. A spatula knife and utensil cooking type kept. Flashlights all kinds of little things that I think she got in the mail. She often brought me over cooked goods as well which I never turn down. In fact it was a couple months ago that I realized she was no longer doing much home healthcare and that she was doing housecleaning for a couple of her old clients. At the time, I had this great housekeeper who was quick and thorough and worth the $20 an hour I paid her. However, she went through some marital discord and then major depression and she quit all of her housekeeping jobs and I never really quite got back into using a housekeeper. Luckily between my brother and my son and occasional one of the ladies at the complex here who feel sorry for me I think been able to keep myself above water apartment cleaning wise. But when I realized Maggie was now just housecleaning and not the regular home healthcare I figured I'd give her a shot and see about cleaning since I needed some assistance. I know that she's fairly “mature” but she's always been focused as much As she can. So maybe it's not a speck of span house as much as allowing someone else to do some work, to earn a few extra bucks and achieve a level of independence. Being a good deal all things considered and some desperately needed socialization thrown in.

Maggie was supposed to come over last week but she became ill. She was over last month for one cleaning session. We didn't really get a lot done because it was the first since I'd lost my regular cleaning person and there was a lot to be done. I'd hoped begun today when she was coming clean. I found that when she's here and I'm here we end up talking more than I would like and I get very nervous seeing the time go by and not as much cleaning is I think should be done. It was like that today so I finally excuse myself saying I had to return something to Walmart (which I did) and took off on the bus and didn't return for about an hour or two hours. She should've been done at 230 I did not get home till about 430 and surprised when she opened the door must trying to get in. Maggie still had dishes in the sink but the floors are swept and washed the rooms of carpet were vacuumed in the house smelled like Pine-Sol and for 15 bucks an hour with a two hour minimum I guess that's as good as it gets..

I finished doing the dishes made some dinner and try not to drop anything on the floor the nice clean kitchen floor and look forward to having Maggie come over again in a couple weeks and see what else we can get clean…

Cold Days Odd Ways

The past couple of mornings have been awake at 3 AM I don't know why I cannot seem to get past that our without waking. I'm lucky I can maybe go back to sleep but not for long and usually I just catnap until around six AM when I finally dragged myself up and start my day. Of course, I look out the window and today I was startled to see snow falling. I felt like bagging a whole day. I wish I could actually but I cannot. Of course it's Tuesday that means it's Assist.Inc., advisory board but I figure there wasn't going to be a meeting today and even if Heather had been I had made an appointment with my podiatrist for 10:15 AM which would mean I would miss my meeting. Luckily When I called Dave to check ,there was not enough data to have a meeting.

The snow is minimal, thank goodness, however it was cold I would say just shy of bitterly cold. Just to skip the snow did not impede my progress across the street and wait for the bus. I made sure I used by bus tracking app and only had to wait a few minutes. But it was cold and not just because I was wearing my shorts this day would have been cold had I won long pants. I really like my podiatrist, I look forward to my meetings with him is just such a happy guy. Podiatry I know that's a real medical discipline and it's amazing the system its around this concept of cutting toenails for seniors. I may not be saying this right but I sure know it's a valid for me. I cannot even reach my toes and if I could my hand function would not allow me to do any decent cutting of my own nails. And I suppose this is the case with many other seniors. I sure see them filing in and out of the office. I can't remember exactly how much these guys charge back to Social Security or whoever covers the bill as I know I don't see or feel the pain of paying for this procedure. I see it in the documents I get from PE HP that shows the amount charged back and how much they paid but I suppose 20 or 30 people a day coming through it adds up over a week's time over a month's time. They really only takes about 10 or 15 minutes from the time that I settle in the office and office staff takes my temperature blood pressure. Dr. S comes in and goes to work trim trim clip clip he even uses the rotor tool with the Burr and goes to town on my toes. Dust and smoke rises, he's quick and relatively painless. Poor Dianne I gave her such a hard time when she was working on my feet and she did so proficiently. I'm still amazed. I'm done he's out the door and I'm scheduled for six weeks out April something when will do it all over again but I'll be sure to be scheduled early in the morning so I can get the procedure done and out the door and on the bus to downtown for relevant o'clock meeting at assist Inc.

The day was cold bitterly cold but I stopped off at Walmart on the way home. I got some fruit and I bought a headset which for some reason my head is not very clear and I thought that purchased a headset that was wireless but when I got home it was not wireless at all and I'm still a bit in the fog from the cold and I don't want to go out tomorrow for don't have to but I have to take this headset back and get what I need. I hope I'm not coming down with something but as much as I've been out in the cold this winter I'm surprised I haven't come down to something worse.…

Monday Holiday Snowcapped day

Snow fell yesterday afternoon in a little bit during the night I was surprised how little fellow I thought until looked out the window and saw there is snow on windshields again all over the parking lot. I felt compelled to do the parking lot again. I know how wise this cleaning the windows thing really is. However because on Saturday when I did this I neglected my workout and I think it affected my whole weekend since I don't work out on Sundays. So today, after I got up and my home health person left. I worked out in order to let the sunrise. The clouds and cleared offAnd so there is some direct sunlight which I have found really makes the process of cleaning Windows of snow much easier.

By the time I got finished with my 45 minutes working out and got out to the parking lot the sun to denigrate job but still I was amazed at how taxing the snow removal was on my left arm. This time I wore cloth gloves which was still a heck of a lot better than Saturday when I did not wearing gloves in the snow does tend to bite your hands when you're shoveling snow off windshields. But with my gloves I wandered from one card to the next like I said the snow had time to set all night and there was ice on the windshield under the snow. Once I got the snow off however the direct radiant heat hit the windshield ice dissipated quickly. I use this pizza thing that my brother made into a handle that I was going to use to get things in and out of the oven with but is too slippery to really use effectively for cooking but works extremely well for snow removal. The end is made of aluminum which I think is okay don't think it scratches the windshield are the body of the car. I need to watch this closely because I don't want to become one of those good Samaritans that get taken to court because what they are doing actually damage the vehicle's. But now however I do I stop once I started? That's the weird thing. I think I'm okay for this year however. It's getting very late in February now I don't think really have that much more snow. Perhaps it's a moot point at this place in the winter of 2019. Still I wonder what the appropriate thing to do is. Right now people are not pay much attention which is just as well maybe I should dip it in the bud will see.

Snow fell yesterday and I have to admit it was nice being out in the direct sunlight. I wore And said gloves and a longsleeved T-shirt and my shorts and that was all. I was not uncomfortable really even when the snow blow back on to me after I went through it off the vehicle. I don't know what this means but I've never Worn shorts through the winter as I've done this winter. And I can do it with no discernible discomfort. You done the coldest days I just wore a flannel blanket over my legs (like a senior) nobody says anything they just stare but I'm used to that. I think the exhibitionist in me truly appreciates that part. Oh well.

It was a good day I lost a kilogram of weight I think. We'll see for sure on Wednesday. I'm kind of fasting day and tomorrow to see if I can bring it down under 100 kg. That would be sweet. Not that It matters but it does kind of The kind of matters to me.

Panic!

It's not like what I had was a real panic attack but I certainly did have some panic. It started a couple days ago I'm not sure exactly when but I noticed that I had this pain in my right hand. I've had the pain before so it didn't spooked me too much right then but every time I used my home in forefinger to try to make a pincher grasp I would get pain in my hand a sharp jabbing pain. I know it's not a big deal for most people but for me someone who uses my right hand is much as I do the impact of severe pain in my right hand to the point where I could not use the hand to seriously jeopardize my independence.

When I've had this pain before I always think that somehow I've sprained my wrist or something. I may have done just that somehow lifting myself up as I do in the morning with the trapeze that I used to get myself into the power chair. I thought maybe I bumped the nerve or something. Yesterday I noticed the pain was retreating a little bit and today the pain is nearly finished or gone completely if I don't irritate my right hand or wrist. But yesterday I almost panicked and this morning a little bit right before getting into my chair for the bad I wondered what would happen if I couldn't use my hand. I got to thinking and felt that whatever happened I would figure it out. I always seem to figure out something that may not be the most healthy of choices but I've been able to figure things out so far. I do not want to get more dependent on home health services that would just cost too much (moneywise) but still I need to beware of what's going on. A storm came in I can't remember if it was before or during the pain and I'm wondering if what I'm experiencing is something related to the low pressure system of the storm – – am I becoming histrionic, trying to make up excuses for something that may not be there, as part of this panic?This morning I was able to buy shirts on issues on my shirt on really no problem. This process takes a lot of hand function both left and right and is able to get by such income okay but I need to make an appointment with my healthcare provider either my physiatrest or my occupational therapistto give my hand the once over. I remember yesterday my hand throbbed specifically when I was trying to handle the snow device I was using to scrape the snow off people's vehicles in the back parking lot. That's when I was thinking I may have strained the rest.

Mark Anthony came over today (how fortunate am I?Got to go to lunch with him yesterday and today he came over with the magnet strip for my kitchen. I've talked about this for a number of years but never really acted on actually getting a strip for my knives but he picked up a magnet strip at Harbor freight and installed it today and it is either refrigerator. I truly feel blessed to have my knives now somewhere I know where they're at and where I can use them when and if I need to what a great present! He also cleaned off my table which was a real job requiring major doses of “Mr. clean”. What a great day!

People Are People…

I don't know why but I woke is morning thinking it was Sunday.. It took forever this morning to realign my thought process so that they felt like Saturday. Snow fell during the night, the weather people said that was going to happen but I didn't really believe the forecast. But indeed I heard the snow plow scraping outside my window early on this morning. When I got up and looked out there is indeed snow way more than anticipated and sure enough there was snow on the cars out of the parking lot.

The storm and moved on by the time I got up and dressed, the sun was shining brightly and they felt warm very springlike. I don't know what snapped me back into Saturday thinking but I realized it was Saturday and had an option for going to the food bank which I did. When I got back I decided” what the heck” and I grabbed my pizza shovel and went out in scrape the Windows of all the cars I could reach in the back parking lot. Whereas before other snowstorms I just did the Windows because it sounded fun today I actually had an altruistic motive in doing good just to do good. One of my favorite Mormon hymns is “have I done any good in the world today” I don't know if that's the name of the song but it's is the first line in the first verse as I can remember. I often have this tune rattling the back of my mind but today I really want to do some good for no particular reason just for the fun of it.. I felt I had to move quickly to make sure I didn't get caught in fact I was caught by, Trish, who was out walking her dog but she didn't seem to register what I was doing which is okay by me. When I started scraping the Windows it was a dry snow in the snow came off fairly easily all actually all the snow came off easily. By the time I had started the project the sun had already started warming the Windows. I found that by removing the snow from the bottom portion of the window the rest of the snow would fall down making it easy to scrape the remaining snow off the vehicle. I did about 10 vehicles are on the vehicle I could reach in the back. And that's okay. I got to thinking that by the time many these folks come out to check their vehicles and will look as if the sun melted all the snow. I felt initially a pain of regret but then I thought I don't want to be recognized. I'm doing is because I want to do this and if they/the benefactors of my snow removal don't know that I did the snow removal all the better. Trish knows, she saw what I was up to and perhaps that's just enough. After all I was stopped by Clarice later in the morning to confide in me how many gossips resided at our apartment complex. I just smiled and said yes people are people wherever you go…

Conspiracy Theory

Somewhere back there and back issues of this blog I've rattle on about feeling my history is erasing itself. I've written about my grade school Campus School has either been torn down or converted into more office space for the University. The junior high and went to: East Junior High has been torn down, I can find no record of having worked in the clinic system in Nampa Idaho in the early 70s (which was a major part of my life), my office with the State was eliminated and on and on.

This morning I got sidetracked early on right after my home health person left around 8:30 AM. I was on the phone with my older sister Irene who must be at least 15 years older than I am. I figured if anybody would've known anything about my childhood, early childhood it might be Irene. However, aside from having a great conversation with the big sister, the call did not field out any information that I could use in my quest to find out who I really am. Couple days ago Fast Eddie(My newly minted little brother as of this summer. I just gave him the name Fast Eddie Because I thought it sounded good. Eddie's not fast, Eddie's methodical Fast Eddie had a career in law enforcement, he is a detective he knows his way around. Anyway, Eddie's done some real work on this whole family thing. He sent me a document I assume written by my birth mother cataloging the births of my siblings. I think Eddie when he sent me the scan and looked at the document briefly with some interest and then look to see where I fit in and suddenly realized I was not on this document! Actually I might be on the document but if I am that would mean the birthdate that I've celebrated for the last 68 years would be wrong. The document shows, and handwriting by my birth mother, that there is a birth around February 6, 1950 and then another delivery looks to have been around February 4, 1952! My birthday as far as the mythology goes now was February 2, 1951. I'm so confused. The best case scenario and I don't know if it's a best case are not but I'm either a year younger than I think I am (yeah!) Or I'm a year older (crap!! Times infinity). I kind of would like to know. After all it really doesn't mean anything I guess except for something's not right in the mythology of my life and that really is somewhat disconcerting.

So, I was asking my sister if she knew anything about how I was adopted. I was actually adopted before blending into her family, and I knew that, I just wanted to see if she knew anything and had been sworn to secrecy. My mom was great In developing small familial conspiracies. Supposedly, was born on February 2, 1951, I have a cousin born on February 2, 1951. I have images of us sharing the same birthday parties. We were sort of the family oddity, cute but still somewhat odd. How did mom get the whole family to go together this conspiracy? If I was born in 1950 or even 1952. It would been hard to do the whole cousin Mikey thing. There is the possibility of making contact with my aunt Elaine who is quite elderly at this point but I feel her mind is still focused and sharp. I just don't know how much she wants to communicate with me anymore… Don't know why but just the feeling that I've gotten. And who knows how far this conspiracy goes. When bulimic contact with my cousin the “twin” Mikey. I doubt that he knows anything and if he did I don't know if he would tell me. I can talk to my cousin Leah she still alive and fairly focused. My new sister-in-law, Carla still sitting on a trove of information harvested from the home of my deceased father for I think the document posted here came from.

I love a great conspiracy just not when it involves me directly. Unlike my sister said this morning I still have two great families! And I seem to be loved by both within limits. (I was kind of a pill when I was younger… I still am). So it really doesn't make any difference I am here now fully rooted in this reality for however long I don't know… :-)

Role Call

It's Valentine's Day today that doesn't mean a whole hell of a lot to me of course but just the same that means I'm that much closer to spring in today's one of those days that very much like spring. In other words I would say an equinox day lower still quite a ways equinox I deem it an equinox day where you get four distinct seasons are at least a couple. Today it's going to be rain and snow and of course it's Thursday which means I have bookclub down West Jordan which means I'll be on the system. The good part about this is that if it's raining it's above freezing which means snows go to be melting which means I will be able get the bus stops… Life is a trade off. I don't know why but I felt motivated to write on my Facebook page first thing this morning nothing earth shattering just sending a happy Valentines greeting to all the people on my friends list. Not only did I wish them a happy Valentine's Day but advised them that It is raining outside and everybody be careful out there. And as I said “be careful out there” it brought to mind one of my favorite shows of all time: Hill Street Blues.

HSB Was an NBC offering which ran on Thursday nights mostly nearly 80's. I watch this series as my marriage was falling apart. One of the main stars of the series was Capt. Furillo, A hard but good cop and one of his right-hand man was Sgt. Phil Freemason Esterhaus. Each show would begin at rollcall where Sgt. Esterhaus Would read off a number of items that Hill Street station would be responsible for that day. It was always quite a laundry list and the Sgt. Always did a great job. Both the Capt. and the Sgt. cared dearly for their men and support showed. I watched both of these guys through the seasons and wish I had someone like them in my personal life. Somebody who I could go talk to would understand what I was saying but the same time not judge give me a little good advice and tell me everything was going to be okay. Both of these guys were fair that's all I wanted. Sgt. Esterhaus was a big old white guy but a nice guy. He was brilliant in a very low-key way. The way he led rollcall you knew he was smart but he never let it show you is devoutly human. He was a cop's cop, he was always immaculate in his dress, his speech and his life. I knew I always had the sergeant in my Mythology of the universe of my universe anyway I guess that's all that mattered to me at the time. The thing that stood out most to me in roll call was that how it ended. The sergeant would always finish is daily oratory always with the phrase “Oh, and everyone be careful out there” are a variation of that phrase. Sometimes, he would act like you'd forgotten to call everybody back for just one second and recite his mantra of roll

call… Everyone, Be careful out there…

Paid In Full

Clarice showed up today to repay me for the snow removal of her vehicle. I was not sure what to expect be honest but what ensued was a genuinely friendly in interesting couple of hours. Clarice is from Ukraine via Germany during the second world war and onto America. She hobbles around with her walker she gets along better than I expect. She felt a couple of years ago on And it is never really feel yet she feels it's too late in life to consider a hip replacement. She's gone just hobble along with what she's got.

I've been working on the apartment off and on all morning not really thinking that Clarice would show up. I had already called the individual who wants to clean my apartment but she still second and as of my discussion with her this morning she was rated temperature by hundred degrees and she looked pretty worn out. Advised her to stay put or head in to Insta-care, the local “doc in the box”, for treatment. Hopefully by next week I'll get a more in-depth cleaning of the apartment. I was Up to my elbows in deboning one of the chickens I had gotten last week. For some reason I have a hankering for chicken enchiladas – – since I have the chicken – – I had even gone over to the market and purchased a can of enchilada sauce. You will remember I have limited hand function so needless to say the kitchen area where I was busy with the bird did not look pretty. Clarice did not say anything which I thought was kind but I knew she was thinking 'should I help her just little guy do it on his own' I guess she opted for the latter. I cleaned off my hands and welcomed Clarice in and she went right to work sweeping the kitchen floor. I'd slept most of the floor earlier in the day in preparation but there are still pieces that really need to be worked out.

Clarice bite my mop bucket and soon had it filled with hot water and Pine-Sol. Nothing makes an apartment feel cleaner than the aroma of heavy-duty Pine-Sol. Over the last couple of months I had dropped a number of grapes and other items round onto the floor which it been ran over by my chair in the squashed remains dried to the linoleum/tile. Clarice tried to soak those items free that was not going to work in the time she has left this life so she went to work with a straight edge shovel type device, the implement I actually used to remove the snow from the windows of her vehicle. The sharp edge worked great at scraping the sticky things off the floor. She then apply the Pine-Sol water and I don't know how long it's been since I have had floors this clean.

Earlier in the week I was going to vacuum my floor in my front room I never got around to the task. I pulled the plug from the wall by mistake in my wheelchair went to close. Before I knew it and run over the plug and pinched the prongs close together And it could not plug the machine in. I hate carpet for a host of reasons. This carpet is beige so all dirt sticks out specially more round items fruit grounded to the carpet. Of course Clarice wanted the vacuum but I finally convinced her not to and I think she was getting pretty tired at that point I know that I was entertaining is exhausting. We talked about many things her family, my family for life in Europe and America and some of my life in America. She threatened to come down again in a couple of days and I informed Clarice that she is more than re-paid any debt She might only owe me for digging out her vehicle. Once again, she would not hear of welching on what she felt she owed me. I knew better than to argue. So, I'll let this little person, this 81-year-old person continue to help me out clearing her debts...

Bots and Drones and Droids Oh No!

Huey, Louie and Dewey

I'm sure you guys don't want to read another posting about snow, ice and mobility but sorry this is my blog and I write what I write am I right or am I right?

I am in this weird waking loop right now. It seems most mornings I'm waking up about 4:15 AM and I forced myself back to sleep on Dana days (Dana is by home health person) Monday, Wednesday, Friday I get up at 6 AM so I'm ready by the time she gets her about 7 AM. On the alternate days Tuesday Thursday and the weekend. I try to sleep in rarely do I go beyond 7 AM. So now I'm waking up at 415 not all the days today for instance I tried to get back to sleep I got all the way to 5:15 AM in my mind started cycling on snow and ice. I've been playing with this idea since the great storm of trying to figure out a way to apply a snow shovel to the front of my chair and I would act as a snow dozer. I played with this little bit when I cleaned the sidewalks by my busstop last week after the great snow. I realized that my power chair certainly has the thrust and power needed to push a lot of snow out of the way provided I can keep hold of the shovel handle. If there is a way to keep a shovel load of snow and ice on the shovel, I could actually tilt my chair back and dump the load out of the way. Then I got to thinking I wonder if the boys over at UCAT could actually build such a device for my other power chair, my backup chair? Interesting. That chair is bigger than the chair I have now, that chair is an older model but has actually more power than his chair. That chair can actually be a good dozer.

My mind continued to swivel and swerve and birth new thoughts each one link to the other but branching out in its own thought dynamic and structure, how great would it be to develop a line of bots who soul purpose would be for snow and debris removal. The concept is certainly out there now that artificial intelligence is coming of age. Think of all the little bots which have graced movie screens the past 50 or so years. Of course there's R2-D2 which I could see would love to have a dozer fixed to the front of him and work removing snow that would be perfect and how about Huey Dewey and Louie? They would be totally perfect. Huey Dewey and Louie from Silent Running a great piece of science fiction buried under newer generations of science fiction all more sophisticated than that previous. Huey Dewey and Louie would be a great prototype to build the snow removal bots off of.

Usually, in the mornings when I'm having these great thoughts, I start losing their construction in my mind and soon they are forgotten as I move more into my day in consciousness. However I'm trying something different these days and when I have these thoughts reach over and grab my cell phone or other device and make a note so I can follow up later on during the day. So far it's working for what I don't know if nothing else fodder for my blog. Clarice, the chicken lady has stopped by my apartment twice now to let me know that she'll be coming over to help me straighten up my apartment. This is a lady who told me yesterday she couldn't make it because she had to celebrate her 81^st birthday! Hopefully, tomorrow Gail will make it over and clean the apartment before Clarice gets here. That way the run-up be much for Clarice to do and will feel that she has repaid me for the favor I did her by shoveling her vehicle clean of snow.. I doubt that's how it will work but certainly willing to give it a try. And maybe once and for all I could put the snow storm behind me.

First World Problems

Right now my world seems to be revolving around three or four items. Engaging a cleaning person for my apartment, making a decision whether or not to dive into the whole world of demand entertainment i.e. streaming and the joyous exercise of clandestinely removing snow for my apartment mates vehicles.

I thought I'd solved my cleaning lady problem and I may have. Just that the cleaner I engaged is maybe more people than I had anticipated. This is kind of unfair but it's sort of a gut feeling I am getting. Gail advised me this morning that she was on the mend but she was still hacking and occasionally coughing up blood but felt she could make it on Wednesday.. I of course further excused her advising her to come only when she felt like she could and feels up to doing the work. Space I have not even shared with her I have other folks who might be interested in securing her work as well. Seriously, I want her to be totally healthy when she does her cleaning job because even at $15 an hour (and that's a deal) I don't want to get questionable work. I know better though she's better than that.

Russian Doll Sounds like a terribly interesting series on Netflix. This series is about a woman who continually dies. I don't know if The main character dies multiple times a episode or each episode is one death/rebirth or however it works sort of like in Groundhog Day, for Bill Murray lives one day 10,000 times Or until he transforms himself into something the universe wants. I don't know why but the concept just intrigues me. My big sucker for time travel, movies about reincarnation multiple lives that kind of stuff. I'm intrigued by watching a scene that's filled over and over again to see what changes in the background with each shooting. There are little changes if you pay attention to minute things that makes my viewing a bit more interesting. Russian doll Is produced by Netflix which means I would probably have to order Netflix to enjoy the series. One of my best friends, Lori, is encouraging me to take the plunge and I spent this afternoon visiting with my daughter as she was driving back home from some sort of business meeting in or gone, who is really encouraged me to take the plunge. We covered quite a bit of theatrical territory during her drive home. I even spent time visiting with my son, Mark Anthony who actually has Netflix. I was kind of feeling him out about tagging onto one of their passes or whatever Netflix offers people who can watch on one subscription. Seems like they're using all of theirs. I guess for $12 a month it might be worth it and if I really want to be cheap I could use the “free month” option and quit after I'd watched all of the Russian Doll season one. So many options so much stress.

I could write the stress out however and get some exercise in by even removing more snow off of vehicles. It snowed again last night a lot more than anticipated that it would. However by morning the storm and moved on but vehicles in the back parking lot were covered in snow. I'm always amazed at how many seniors are driving in this facility. I attacked Clarice's vehicle again. I use the device by brother had made for me which work better than even the snow shovel that I had used last week. This time however I did not stop at Clarice is going on to Beverly's and a couple other vehicles I did know who they belong to. This kind of pathetic however I could only reach so far and I couldn't get to the window on the other side because the vehicles are either part too close together or had piles of snow so high on the passenger side I couldn't get my chair in close enough to remove more snow. However, I realize that if I could get the snow off the window to the point where the glass was exposed the radiant energy would do the rest and quickly. I must've done for five cars today and boy do I feel good… Is that corny? Now, I'm almost depressed that there is no more snow tomorrow and probably for the rest of the week not like we've had the last couple of days. Maybe I can go underground until next year when the storms begin again…

I'm anal. I don't know if that's a confession or declaration but it's the truth I just cannot let go of things therefore my life always seems to be in a clutter. That's why I so desperately need a housecleaner to at least come in and straighten things up I don't necessarily need a deep clean just a topical is all I really want.Gail, my cleaning person is still feeling under the weather and that's okay it's not like anyone's coming over are anything that I have to have a clean place. So anyway, the past couple days I've been working on filing the giant pile of mail I've received the last couple months. Last time I filed was before Christmas and Mark Anthony came over and gave me a hand. So, I figured it was time to try to put some order on this ugly knot of entropy manifesting itself by my bookcase. I rarely listen to my Amazon music streaming account but today I put on the 80s channel and specifically the Cars channel. And started to work.

Yesterday could've been Friday I went across the street to the polygamist or and purchased a plastic file cabinet. I think part of my problem has been I've been trying to use this accordion filing system And really it just made matters worse. It was so hard to find the folder to file something in that tend to give up. But today little by little I was able to find the appropriate file put in the mail which is come over the last couple months and slip it into the new holding device. I really should go over to the electronic system and not even receive paper bills anymore. But like I said, I've a hard time letting go it just seems the righteous thing to do to have a concrete copy of the bill that I've paid. I sort of like the process of writing the check out, slipping it in the envelope sealing it and stamping and then taking the whole thing down to the post box and dropping it in. I do have a number of accounts that I have set up to electronically pull the payment out of my bank account – – kind of scares me but I'm trying to get along with the new technologies. However for the time being I'm filing or trying to file. Hopefully with the new container I will do a better job.

Filing old mail like is like mining you never know what you're going to find. Like I found a couple of files that Dianne had prepared for me like my medications regimen as well as folders for purchase of my pieces of technology like power chair, electric bed and other items of minutia. I'm always amazed at how proficient Dianne is on these kind of things. She really is marvelous. I actually began throwing things away which believe me, this is a big deal. I even threw away pieces of writing and art that I've done decades ago and I never do this. I am so infatuated with myself that I never let anything I've created go but maybe I'm changing who knows? As I wandered through the files in the folding/accordion file device I found a folder titled “photos”, written in broad point felt tip pen a pulled the file out as I did numerous photos scattered to the rug. A number of images from Christmas pasts where I was Santa Claus at the Independent living centers Christmas function and there are a couple images of Dianne and myself taken outside of our house in Murray. The photo looks like we're sitting on the porch. The kind of cute sitting there together. Not that we ever had a real young appearance to ourselves(We did actually when we married we're at the beginning of middle-age and still had tinges of our youth) the images that I saw were solidly middle-age, a healthy middle-age which rendered an illusion that we would last forever in our little house made of bricks like our relationship. Sadly however this was just an illusion and even bricks will render back to their initial components of red dust. Now this is the interesting part. These items used to be something I would want to forever or until I lost them one where the other, in a move or somebody else not knowing what was in the file folder during the whole kit and caboodle away. But no, today I let go. I picked up the photos on the floor looked through one last time and toss them in the file folder into the garbage. I felt a twinge of guilt and remorse but also I felt a weight left off my chest or maybe just my heart and…moved on...

Warm Chicken In Plastic

My cleaning person again did not show up today which kind of vexes me but not really. I certainly don't want to put any stress on this lady who 74 but fairly agile. However, I'm beginning to worry about my apartment a little bit. I'm sure Gail will come around as soon as she gets a little bit more rest and I'm going to focus on picking up and clean the things I can reach. What worries that me the most is that I'm beginning to accept this level of entropy my home is beginning to show. I must fight this appalling entropy at all costs. As I alluded, Gail not showing up That's me off the hook kind of of having to make any decisions about what I wanted to do and what I'd like her to focus on, in the apartment. So looks like I have another couple of days.

I should be responsible for directing by my Life I figured I'd best run over market to pick up a few items for the rest of the weekend and in the next week. Supposedly we have a number of storms building up “out in the Pacific” and they're headed this way. The commentator promises storms will not be as big as we just suffered and I kind of agree but just to be sure to have some fresh fruit options around the apartment. I've got everything else I need, carbo's and protein In fruit and vegetable juices and I even have boxed milk and coffee beans and ground. I can make it to next week if I have to. I just love these end of the world scenarios I talked myself into and the weather people talk about storms a coming. I even have meals prepared that I should be eating and I'm not really as much as I should. In fact today one of the steaks I froze last week fell out of the freezer when I went to put something else in now that it stay on the floor to thaw. I figured The following steak an act of God And that he/she wanted me to have steak for dinner.

I was pretty tired of the time I got back from the market. I rinsed the grapes put the bananas on the table and the jalapeno peppers (pickled) in the pantry. I surprised myself that in the middle of the 5 o'clock begin news I begin prepping dinner. I pulled the green onions, mushrooms, broccoli onion (yellow) three garlic toes and chopped everything up olive oil in a frying pan and thru the limp steak In the heated olive oil and piled the vegetables on Selective spread a frying steak and surround myself in the aroma. As I was totally enjoying myself just sitting there I hear a knock knock knock on my door and I forgot Clarice, remember her from yesterday when I shoveled off her car? She threatened she was going to bring over homemade chicken soup for dinner and I figure that's what it was… Wrong! She said the time and gotten away from her she did not make chicken soup today and then said “I got you this instead” and pointed to a plastic bag item her walker about the size of a good-sized head and I could tell it was warm. It was another rotisserie chicken! I did not want another rotisserie chicken size of a head still warm. I tried to tell her that she did not need to get me anything for cleaning her vehicle off. But she is European and she's old And Republican who always pays her debts. I graciously accepted the chicken with the hope of being able to place the whole container into my freezer and save it for a rainy day. I don't know which was the greater Samaritan effort cleaning the car Of snow or accepting a chicken the size of your head…

Snow Bound!

I'm weakening I can feel it and it's kind of frightening. For the last two hours I've been running through different options Netflix offers. I've heard 1 billion people talk about Netflix and watching Netflix and actually loving Netflix. Going on and going off Netflix but I'm not paid much attention. I've always felt that Netflix is not for me or any other program like Netflix. I figured I could make do with what was on either regular television or what is offered by INFINITY which is actually quite a lot and just recently I've stumbled across all kinds of movie offerings from YouTube. What I would jokingly tell everyone when they would advise me I should watch this I should watch that on Netflix I always said “Naw that's okay, I have too much to watch already. I'd lose myself in the television/flatscreen if they had more. But you know what? I'm leaking now. Just watching the trailers of what Netflix offers from their own production stable is just amazing the quality of the screen, actors and even plot lines is mind-boggling. Throw in the fact that it's standard fee is $12 a month and you get one month free! You can also cancel anytime! There's no reason not to be doing Netflix.

The clouds broke a little after lunch today. I went out earlier going over to the Exxon station across the fence from our property. I need a break at 20 because I clean person is coming today. I didn't want to go all the way to community college or a bit of the market down the street What is a money machine connected to my credit union nor did I want to go over to the market (now that I can actually get there because the snows been removed) where I can write for cash over whatever I'm purchasing. I had the two twenties from for my brothers birthday present which I intended to use to pay my cleaning person. Since I had no commitments for that money and I could buy two hours cleaning I figured what the heck better will use of birthday money and clean my environment. I noticed, as I was heading over to the Exxon station, that one of the folks in older lady here at the complex's vehicle was covered with at least 18 inches of snow. When I came back to the apartment I had a message from a cleaning person. Gail was sick and she was able to make it today. Not really a big deal except for I had gotten the cash exactly what was needed so I stashed in the envelope and tried to figure out what to do with the rest of my day. I got the idea, not that I'm altruistic as I'm not, what am I dig out Clarice's vehicle. At spoken with Clarice earlier in the day and she was not looking forward to trying to dig yourself out. I knew this would be somewhat helpful if I could do this and most importantly it would keep me involved in doing something not thinking of my being kind cooped up at the apartments.

I made sure the snow shovel was plastic so it would not scrape her finish that I started pulling the snow off of the vehicle. It wasn't difficult work as much as the recessed a lot of the snow there it was stacked so high. I pretty much got the front windows clear and the rear windows as well and I went back in to the apartment and pumped by hand by for half an hour. About an hour or so later I went back out to the parking lot to see if Clarice had finished cleaning up the snow off her vehicle and I was astounded to see all the work that I had done to clear the front windows had been – because the huge amount of snow still on the top of the vehicle slid down totally cover the windows again I was chagrined. Sunday been out now for some time the snow was really quickly melting it took no time at all to go back out and finish the job.

Back at the apartment I once again reviewed what Netflix was offering. Watch the news tonight it looks like there are at least four more snowstorms stacked up for next week. I doubt to fill be as significant as this last storm but just maybe I'll need something to keep me from going stir crazy and maybe that could be Netflix…

Snow Job

Taylorsville got pounded with yesterday's snow. More snow fell during the night and I heard the plows working early this morning so I knew that I was going to be apartment bound reinforcing the tension highlighted yesterday's blog. Fortunately the sun decided to do some shining as the storm began to break up and move out. The cold state for sure but the sun broke through and never underestimate the power of radiant energy. I felt myself getting antsy as I sat through coffee klatch Thursday. The old ladies talk about how much snow there was and how dreaded they were of having to go out to the parking lot and try to get in their vehicles. I was interested to see just how bad the plows had encased meat on to this block.

I first went out to the gate which opens up to my bus stop on Redwood Road. I figured the sidewalk on our side of the gate would be cleaned off the sidewalk and the sidewalk was clean. But as I figured on the other side of the gate was a snow pack enough to break my heart I wasn't going anywhere there. I want to make sure I could perhaps get down to the road which I could but I would have to wait through significant amount of water from snow which it already melted in the driveways. So that was iffy. I called the people over at Utah Developmental Disabilities Counsel to inform them that I would not be able to be at bookclub. Even if I could and would stress myself on getting to the other side of Redwood Road to catch the 217 southbound I don't know what I would find at the end of the line at the transfer point in West Jordan. I was not willing to take the risk of being snowed out of the library by one or two sidewalks that have not been cleaned which is a high possibility judging from other times I have gone following a snow event.

I spied one of the workers had left a snow shovel by the exit to the back parking lot which I quickly took possession. And I began working on little areas of the sidewalk which caused major issues for my mobility. The sun was bright and actually warm considering how cold the snow made the atmosphere again radiant energy should not be doubted. Neither the the visual effects of the 68-year-old man in a wheelchair vigorously plain bulldozer with a plastic snow shovel. The radiant energy that caused a lot of the snow that had been smashed in the ice fairly easy to push with the power of my chair and the snow shovel held in front of me like a dozer. There had actually been some fairly decent snow removal on the west side of the apartment complex and the park. Oddly though about halfway between the gate and the intersection is a driveway into the park parking lot. Each time the cars drove into the parking lot that caused the snow to bunch up and caused quite a bit of snow and ice buildup at that area I found if I again acted like a dozer I could actually get shovel fuls of ice and push it out of the way. This actually worked a lot better than anticipated. When I got to the end of the block I was somewhat dismayed at the amount of snow buildup and how much snow and nice been pushed into the curb cuts by the snow plows. I could see however there been enough radiant energy out the really loosened up a lot is known as I tried to drive my chair with the snow shovel I was able to actually pushed more snow out of the way and move significant shovel loads of snow away from the curb cut to the point where I was making extreme progress on getting to the pavement. Cars were passing me fairly closely by Working back and forth not paying much attention. I wasn't sure how pathetic I looked but I knew some folks are looking in a few minutes some young guy actually stopped the vehicle walked over and asked if he could help I'm no fool I said “sure”. We shoveled off the whole sidewalk at the corner. Then we cross the street and cleaned out the corner there by the market and D's restaurant. I could've done it all and I would've done it all myself would not been as good a job as Darrell (the kid who stopped to help me) did but it would've gotten done at least good enough for me and some of the other people here at the apartment complex who use mobility devices.