Goodbye November

For the first time this week the only thing I had to do today was work on promises. It's amazing how efficient my home health person has become. She is the one, Annette, who demands that I purchased two hours of heard services at a time. That's okay because she charges significantly less than other cleaning professionals would charge and I think Annette does more on top of that. The fact that I indirectly pay her another three hours during the week when she comes to deliver my regular B&B services does not hurt much either. I've spent the whole day working on a project for my friend Lori Brock. I'm doing some transcribing which I would've done anyway if I had to wash clothes but I didn't because Annette through the close in the washer on Friday morning when she was here and then folded close when she came back to work the apartment later on freeing me up to do whatever I wanted on my Saturday in a pretty clean apartment.

I bet I've put in close to seven hours on this transcribing project. I'm pretty much using my tablet as well as my desktop for the project. I've been to transcriptions before this and not had the amount of problems I've suffered on this project. I wish you had better software ensure that would've helped our would help but I'm having to do with what I've got and that's okay. I had to download a piece of software that the little awkward to work with but functional enough. The problem is the person Lori is interviewing is really verbose and seems to be all over the page as far as answering the questions. I think already I'm up to about 5000 words and that just blows me away. I'm really quite spooked that the software I'm using is a little flaky and tends to reposition the cursor and I don't know about it then all of a sudden I realize I'm in a different position that I thought that I was. I don't know if and when a work on the project anymore tonight but I want to see if I can finish the project by tomorrow evening, 1 December! Don't get me wrong I am not bad mouthing this project I love having something to do like this and who knows maybe at some point the money to be some renumeration if anyone can finagle a grant to do such a thing it would be Lori Brock.

No food bank today – – private nonprofit employees are taking the weekend off and that's okay for me. I have way more than enough food to get me by. I'll be okay at least until Monday. Of course with tomorrow I have the three letters to write and I still have to write Christmas cards. I really don't have to leave the apartment until Tuesday for my assist meeting but Monday begins a busy week climaxing with the annual Assist, Inc. holiday open house. So, perhaps I'll Netflix are Amazon prime the rest of this evening, finish up my transcription project tomorrow rest and get ready the plow into December 2019…

Apartment Clean

What about going to do? I am so Flippin lucky. Annette my cleaning person who is also my home health person does such a great job on my apartment. She is the first home health person I have had who consistently sweeps my kitchen floor, straightens up the kitchen area sometimes even washing and vacuums the apartment every time she's here to provide my home care services. I know it seems to be explicit in the title “home care services” but she's the only one who consistently does this work. I had one woman who is pretty darn good and sporadically would do some of these other things like make my bed vacuum when she thought for the carpet needed it. I realized then it was to keep her mind active and not go far in waiting for me to produce on the toilet either way I am totally appreciative of the extra's. I may have to give my person an extra 20 or 50 at Christmas.

Because Annette does such a proficient job three times a week the apartment is maintaining an orderly appearance all the time. I think you know this but on Fridays I have Annette come to my apartment to provide two hours of maintenance general. This work on Friday, this two hours, is a little more intensive than what she does during the week and I really have to work hard to try to keep finding things for her to do for the two hour block that I have her for. That was her doing and not mine. Annette says she cannot justify coming out for less than two hours and I do not fault her for The two hours. After all she is charging me about $10 less anybody else would. So, finishing within the two hour block early does not hurt as bad since she does so much extra work the other three days of the week. I know this is a deal And I can afford an extra half hour If not really needed. This week she started with the bathroom which was relatively clean didn't take long, sift through the bedroom then worked on the kitchen again which didn't take long. I purposely left the wash to be folded and hung up what she did fast work of that. I had her straighten my writing area in my art area. I even had her make me a Jell-O salad which she did really quickly and looks very good. The Jell-O salad will be the finest point of my Thanksgiving weekend.

I could really tell that Annette has done a great job by Mark's expression when he in Jasmine stopped into give me a holiday visit. Market called yesterday and wanted to go out this morning to breakfast but I just told them I had too much going on but I'd be more than happy to visit with them should they drop by which they did. What fun. Mark was totally impressed with how the apartment appeared when he walked in mention it numerous times that made me feel good and maybe feel that my money is worthwhile spent and that it's helping out somebody who could really use it. A winter storm hammered the area today dropping a good amount of snow. I didn't have to leave the apartment and that's just fine with me. I doubt that I'll go anywhere tomorrow either or Sunday. I'm working on Lori Brock's transcription and it's a much slower process than the other two interviews but still kind of fun and a great excuse to stay inside out of the winter snow and ice….

Thanksgiving Delight

I have to admit I felt a little guilty this morning as I prepped the turkey breast I had purchased the other day for my Thanksgiving dinner. Guilty because I had possibly to Thanksgiving dinner plates coming over today maybe even three. It's not like I portrayed myself this all lonely and isolated I didn't people volunteered and I really couldn't say no but after last night's production of turkey dressing and candied yams I was just in the mood to cook this morning and cooked I did.

The snow fell not in the great quantities that the kind of promised – – again, which is okay by me since I'm the one I has to get out in it when it's time to go out again. But it was just enough snow and just nasty enough that I felt comfortable in contacting the folks who are bringing the Thanksgiving plates over to tell them to just sit tight home and be safe and warm. My dentist who is going to bring something over at around lunchtime I figured would not smell my turkey that I'd roasted all morning over the smell of his plate. However, Alan the dentist called to let me know that you might be running a little bit late like two or three hours. I thought he looked fairly close to the action is out in Herman which is really quite a bit away from here and they really got nailed with snow. We had to dig out people in his neighborhood (he's got this gigantic truck) plus he had to do some running around for his wife like to the market so I just said hey don't worry about it. I then told him that I had gone ahead and cooked my own dinner that I'd made all the fixings and he seemed to be relieved. However, I was pleased that he said that he would be coming into town/office tomorrow think that he stop by my apartment so he can just chat and that's what I was so interested in any way just some buddy bonding. So, you can be dropping by sometime tomorrow… Interesting.

So I basically diffused all the Thanksgiving dinners that was coming my way and I had the great weight lifted from my shoulders. As I totally got into during the turkey in the oven setting the timer and enjoying my Thanksgiving day. I really intended to spend time working on Lori Brock's project but I'm having a bit of a challenge setting up my devices to the transcription. Hopefully, tomorrow I'll have more time to devote to Lori's project. Of course cooking takes punch of the old kitchen so I need to spend some time cleaning it up. However, tomorrow is my shower day and Annette will be here not only in the morning but in the afternoon as well.

I spent a lot of time with Dianne today texting which is always enjoyable. I'm worried about the brother-in-law which keeps attacking her in the Christian fashion that's okay no problem. I'm not sure how much snow are going to get tonight were supposed to get some.

More snow is forecast for tonight and tomorrow. I've got leftovers, I've got a project and other projects to keep me busy. I really don't have to go out again and tell next Tuesday. So I've got a lot to be thankful for… I hope you do too.

Candied Yams And A Whole Lot More

Dressing fresh from the oven!

Tomorrow's Thanksgiving and what am I doing? I'm making Thanksgiving dishes like I was having some major dinner or something. Which really bizarre is that now, I'm almost positive I have two Thanksgiving dinners being brought into me by those who think I'm a sad and wasted old man miserably spending my holiday alone in my little apartment. I am not that person! I mean look at I say? These folks really wanted to make sure that I had a Thanksgiving dinner. And I thought, and I do want to Thanksgiving dinner. But what you really strange and kind of crazy is that I want to also make one. I am so weird.

So far the gigantic winter storm which was forecast to begin today has not really, as far as I can tell, the Taylorsville area. If you believe the local weather people on the 5:30 PM news is that great quantities of snow is falling all around this area but not here. Maybe later on tonight about the snow will be dropped by to see it right now and what the hell is wrong with me? Do I sound like I complaining? I guess I kind of am. I mean a huge snowfall is going to be nothing but a headache for me not right of the day of the snowfall especially since it's a holiday. It's not like I have anywhere to go. But as the days afterwards when the snow turns to ice small miniature ice flows, gutter glaciers everywhere, for a while anyway. I kind of feel bad for folks who promised me the Thanksgiving plate especially if they have to get out in the elements tomorrow. Perhaps I will contact them and tell them they don't have to sense snow is so pervasive in the fact that it's Thanksgiving Eve and I'm cooking my brains out at my apartment. I'm just having a great time!

This afternoon after I went through a lethargic sugar low I made some coffee and got to work. Downloaded a way to jazz up stove top dressing and it really worked reminded me of the old days I had a family that I lived with me chop up the onions, chopped parsley chop up the celery swept the vegetables through in the butter make the dressing. When I did this afternoon it was so much fun chop chop chop. The place smells great! I was relatively pleased because I wasn't sure how is going to handle the Sage but the stove top dressing that I got from the box from the food bank was already seasoned with the Sage I threw together popped up in the oven and sure enough 30 minutes later I had pretty decent looking dressing, amid yanked it out too soon is not as Brown crunchy as it has been but that's okay since I'm going to be reheating the dressing anyway and the crunch will not matter since it's spent the night in refrigerator and the crunch is long gone regardless. Next I attacked the candied yams. That was way simple I was surprised I plopped the can of yams in covered with brown sugar and cinnamon covered with marshmallows. The only problem I had/have is that I did not save the juice. I did not read the directions close enough that the drain the yams I didn't read where it says set aside ½ cup to add to the yams later. I'm sure the be okay I don't want the yams too good because I don't want to gorge on them. My weight was up this morning. Now, probably tomorrow I will cook the turkey breast that I have it set it aside and just see what comes in the front door the good Samaritans wanted to make sure I'm covered this Thanksgiving a nice big plate of turkey…

Of Dream Catchers and Electric Pizza

I'm tired this afternoon – I'm always tired it seems like anymore but that's okay I'm basically happy, happily tired. I woke up at 3:30 AM this morning from a disturbing dream that I think was the result of thinking about Gil Hammonds Cerebral bleeding resulting from brain cancer I believe. Oddly, I lay there wondering from one thought to another Finding it nearly impossible to get to sleep. I did not necessarily feel the urging to use my catheter but finally the urge came and I did use the catheter and then slept for about another two hours roughly. The sleep is not necessarily restful but offered great hope that I would basically survive the day. I had made arrangements with the Lori Brock to meet at the community college cafeteria At 1:00 PM. She has offered me some more opportunities to volunteer transcribing her latest interview. The day is cold following yesterday snowstorm, temperature sank but there was sunshine and sunshine makes all the difference in the world. However, I did wrap my legs in the black comforter and made my way to the cafeteria. We had a good discussion over cocoa and tea. I got the 2-for-1 pizza deal = 2 pieces of pizza for five bucks the good-sized. I was doing good I was not sleeping not much anyway in our conversation. Seems like I made the case that I've been sleeping poorly but actually asleep okay. I think I may even have discussed before how older folks at this facility where I live sleep hardly at all it seems like just a few hours every night but they all take naps during the day in some cases more than one. So maybe and fit in with my demographic I don't know. But, thankfully when I lay my head to sleep at night I usually tumble right off after a few minutes of kicking and and spasming Is my body gets used to the new positioning. Once I get myself squared away in bed I drift off early quickly that's usually after I spent 20 minutes to 45 minutes reading if I'm lucky enough to get that many minutes in before dozing off – – that's what I know it's time. There's a lamp directly over my head of course that I reach and switch off. I wake usually a couple hours in and go back to sleep I really lucky day/night I was sleep all the way Through the 530 to our 6 AM. That's when the neighbor upstairs flushes is toilet is pretty regular. In the old house that I came from when I got this bad Dianne came upon a dream catcher, you know one of those circular things made by Native Americans often with feathers and such. Of course Stephen King has a book at least on the subject are short stories. I kind love my dream catcher I think it does catch dreams. What is odd though, yesterday or maybe late the day before I don't know what happened but the dream catcher detached from the bar above might head landed on my fore head.Actually felt kind of spooky until I reached up and found out what it was. I tried to attach the dream catcher back up on its bar and I finally did but I don't think I did it right. Dream catcher was not secure the sooner hanging off of the bolt or something. I'm not saying that's the reason why I had the disturbing dream regarding Gil but it certainly seems like it could've happened and maybe my dreams of continue to be weird until I can get someone to attach the dream catcher back in place.

Permanent Record

It's not like I'm going to make a federal case out of it but I've learned one has a to nip these things in the bus or theyll come back and nip you when least expected. Since my incoming mail amount has become so insignificant basically sales circulars and bills I am now checking my mail twice or three times a week and that's about it. Last Friday was one of those days when I checked the mail and there is a document from the treaty college where I took my class last summer, you remember, the sketching class. The class that defeated by desire to return to academia even just to audit. Anyway this document was a “Demand Letter”. This document indicated that I owed the community college money for this semester's courses that I'm taking but guess what!?! I'm not taking any courses. Remember, summer class wore me out. That was going during the good weather, sunshine, clouds, nice breezes kids in summer dress. I knew I did not want to try to schlepped my art portfolio back and forth from the apartment the class and back again three or four times a week in cooling to cold weather, snow blowing sideways and sidewalks not scraped, ice clogged and paralyzed hands further paralyzed by severe cold weather. I knew I didn't want that so I knew I didn't register for any classes for fall semester.

I waited a day or so then I tried to call and pretty much got the bum's rush saying that I had to take care of it over the Internet. So the next day I dialed into the community college and in fact the closest thing I could do was download the form filled out and return that to the community college. I decide I want to talk to a human being but I went to the process anyhow downloading the document filled out as much as I could and then today – – a day I should've stayed in because of sideways snow – – I bundled up in trundled over to the community college. Lori had to work today so I figured why not have coffee with Lori after I finished my work with the registrars/admissions office. Luckily, the process was not too traumatic however it look like I might run into a problem with my first school representative but was quickly rescued by José another school type behind day counter who came to our rescue and fixed the issues least he said he did. I'm relying on his expertise. However, I would not be surprised if I am haunted further by this snafu. After all the bill was for $10. What was interesting was that first campus representative was insisting that I registered for the class but never showed up. The class was some archaeology class and I have no interest in archaeology at all of these from that standpoint. It was then when José intervened and hopefully save my hide. The biggest issue are probably did not want to have occur was something to show up on my “permanent record” and cost me pain on the next class I do audit if I do audit another class...

Sleep You Lose

I thought about taking in a movie this afternoon. It's Sunday the hardly anyone, in this community, goes to the movies on Sunday. Therefore, it's a great time to sit back and enjoy the movie without everybody followed all over you. Of course as it happens, once again I waited too long.Today I was really considering The latest Stephen King offering, Dr. Sleep.I almost went to the movie last week however the screening is not offered at the time I could facilitate so instead I went to Ford versus Ferrari or something like that a pretty good film For what it was but not a Stephen King that's for sure. I'm sure the film is supposed to be frightening or scary and will probably have a lot of loud noises and cutaway scenes thrown instantly in your face which I guess could be identified as scary which is too bad because often that's not how I have read what King has written. I actually read the novel couple years ago of course can barely remember anything but I did enjoy the document. If I was really committed to seeing this film I could research and find out what other theaters are showing the good Dr. sleep. However, that would mean going out finding a bus route that would meet my need we could probably be about 22 or State Street. However it's just cold enough and a storm is wandering in that I decided to forgo the pleasure of movies today and maybe wait till cheap seat Tuesdays offerings. So instead of movies I'm actually thinking about getting a jump on my Christmas cards. I noticed today's timestamp November 24 that means this time next month it will be Christmas Eve. Unbelievable. So I'm going to consider digging out my stash of Christmas cards and begin filling them out with the idea of dumping them in the mail the first week of December which will be a record for me. I probably won't do much more than my immediate family unless I try to expand my definition of family to include, now, biological family which would certainly be a lot more stamps and creativity. Luckily, I don't have addresses for the newbies but I guess I better start putting together some sort of directory. I don't drink much anymore if ever (not a morality issue a weight gain issue) but like to imagine myself like in some 50s Christmas Carol/cigarette/booze advertisement of sitting at my desk with a cc seven at my side pen in hand writing out clever Christmas cards with Bing Crosby in the background crooning away about white Christmas. Speaking of white Christmas maybe instead of being Crosby crooning I would be watching their antics on the screen watching my addition of Holiday Inn. The only problem I have at this juncture is that I would really hate to send the same card out this year as I did last or maybe even the year before that. There's usually 25 cards to a box which could mean at least two years of Christmas cards. Hopefully, none of our brothers and sisters are keeping count aside for just checking off the fact that I remembered and that the they are Christmas card directory. I know I would never remember they sent me the same card twice.I know it's off Fifth Avenue but it's one of the things I like most about the Christmas season…

Food Bank Saturday

It's food bank Saturday – – every Saturdays food bank day here in Taylorsville Utah. I go almost every Saturday though I do not need to and I always emphasize that. I don't know if that's a weakness I have of not trying to appear to needy. But it's true, I can get along just fine without visiting food bank but why not if I'm eligible and I'm eligible. Simple as that. Today, this kind of special just because it's the Saturday before Thanksgiving and they're giving away turkeys supposedly. And again honestly, I've been sort of up in the air about what I even take a turkey if one was offered to me. I've been thinking a lot this year about how much energy it takes to do a Thanksgiving dinner especially for me and especially if I'm the only one eating. It's like why should I bother? Yet at the same time it's like if I don't do something for Thanksgiving, even if it's just for me, then laid myself down. Is that too bizarre? Really are in the week I could've registered to have a Salvation Army meal delivered to me on Thanksgiving day but I was asleep at the switch and the sign-up sheet was gone on the last day to sign up. I thought I had until like the end of working day but sign-up sheet was gone by the lunch hour when I happen to get by the front of the building. I mean can is really all you really need is a taste of Thanksgiving. I do enjoy leftovers immensely but what I found in years past leftovers is one thing, a couple nights of complete tricked out plate of Thanksgiving all over again and perhaps a couple of turkey sandwiches but when you got a whole bird roasted sitting in your refrigerator that's a lot of protein to have to consume before the bird goes bad. Then, yesterday, Friday was the apartment complex potluck Christmas dinner. The company provided the turkey and everyone else brought something. I was going to fix candied yams I then bought a new Pyrex glass container But I had my occupational therapy appointment and then lucky enough I got to have lunch with Dianne so I missed another turkey dinner. I kind of don't want to gorge out on Thanksgiving dinners before the day for fear of not appreciating Thanksgiving turkey on Thanksgiving.

Still trying to sort out my feelings. I really don't think I wanted a turkey just because of what I have written but there is not a turkey offered me not because they didn't have a turkey but because you had to have a family to be eligible for turkey – – that's the first time happened to me. Some kind of glad I didn't get the turkey but I did get the fixings for Thanksgiving dinner. I can't believe I even threw a couple of guilt starts at the volunteer/workers when I told them “that's okay, I'll just have to go out and buy a turkey”. I realized right after I said that I was trying to hurt their feelings for holding back on my turkey. They even offered me 2 pounds of frozen ground turkey (which I took) as well as a couple pieces of cod. The big bag of fixings is what's in the picture at the front of the posting. A lot of stuff always, dressing, can I can pumpkin plus the fixings for pumpkin pie, a can of yams/sweet potatoes, dehydrated potatoes and a bunch of other stuff that could make or break a Thanksgiving dinner even a can of olives. I bought my stash found in immediately went across the street to the market and picked up a turkey breast And brought it home through it in the refrigerator to thaw. This is probably the best way to go though I will miss dark meat. I realize that I can cook my brains out on Thursday and Annette my cleaning person will be on Friday to clean up after me indeed it must be Thanksgiving…

Gunmetal Gray Day

22 November and oddly, at least I think it's odd, that I did not hear a single reference to the assassination of JFK to some years ago. I don't know for sure what that means, maybe it means more than anything else I'm just an old guy in that event that meant a great deal to me this have any reference all four kids born after that time. What really makes the sound old and I guess I am. However, I still think it strange that no reference especially in the news, the national news, and the national news always references stuff like that: major events in US history. Maybe September 11 is not the JFK thing off its pedestal and 911 is the new JFK. Today the place where I live at its resident Thanksgiving day dinner. The Corporation supplies roast turkey and the rest is supplied by everybody else. Everyone brings a covered dish if they want or roles, pie dessert potluck. I actually signed up for candied yams and was kind of excited about the whole concept. I even purchased a new Pyrex 8 x 8” cooking vessel. I already had a can of sweet potatoes and so fossilized brown sugar as well as marshmallows. I'm pretty sure the marshmallows brown sugar would heat up and melt with the applied heat, 400° in the oven for 20 minutes at 30 (I looked it up). The only issue I realized was that I had made the appointment for my occupational therapy with Nikki on Fridays. I think deep down perhaps psychologically I even made the appointment so that I wouldn't have to take part in the resident Thanksgiving dinner. I had the excuse. I had signed a document however that was out in the foyer about what various people were volunteering to bring to the potluck. I was going to do candied yams. I couldn't believe nobody had signed up to do candied yams. The only problem I realized was that unless I cooked the yams at night before or got up super early This morning and cooked the yams and then came straight home as fast as I could after rehab/OT which it pretty much get me here by dinner. I didn't want to take that risk of cooking and not delivering. Oddly, again I ended up calling Dianne at the hospital/rehab center and asked to she wanted to have lunch at McDonald's which is right next to the facility that I OT at. She said yes and so we spent the next couple hours together following my Nikki time. The sky today, all day was gunmetal gray, almost a depressing silver color. The temperatures dropped and there are even a few drops of moisture in the air not quite snow but not rain either. It was nice being out even though it was cold waiting for the bus to take me back to bullet-ville and the next couple hours with my home cleaning person. I'm glad the cleaning lady came today but I would've also been is glad that she not. I would love to just sat in my apartment Max the heat and enjoy the solitude of the day…

Connecting The Dots

Am I so so much different than everybody else? I'd like to think that I am and that my traumas and challenges are singular to me and my place in life but I sometimes get a sneaky suspicion that I am not that much different than everyone else. I've noticed lately with some increasing frequency that sometime midmorning I look at my medication cupboard and cannot remember did I take my meds are not. At one time this was not a big deal because I thought taking meds is somewhat cosmetic and that overall they really didn't do much for you but the last couple of trips to my healthcare provider she is ingrained the need of me for statins – – that mysterious chemical group that greatly reduces the risk of heart attack and other kinds of horrible endings. Top that off with more and more evening news broadcasts on the glorification the statins I am reinforced to make sure that I take my daily dose my morning statins. (I don't even often seen this right). The only thing I do know is that my doctor has drilled in my mind YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR STATINS! I suppose like all things I could best one maybe two and not be in jeopardy – – hell, probably even more but I'm pretty convinced I have to take him every day. So, I get a little freaked when I can't remember if I'd taken them just a few hours earlier. 

 And that's my great come away today. Why, in my losing my short-term memory arts sure seems like I am but I can't remember. It's like I'm partially sure but not 100% sure. After all, I get up make coffee prattle around the kitchen usually and somewhere along the line take my meds. This last couple of weeks I've really been drinking more and more tomato juice and making a concoction of juice and apple cider vinegar with a couple tablespoons of juice from my pickled peppers which is probably vinegar as well. I really like the flavor vinegars give the tomato juice. I've been kind of lucky because I've been schlepping the bottles of discarded tomato juice that other apartment folks here leave at the sharing shelf. No one seems to like the tomato juice but me. I think the reason they don't like the tomato juice is its low-sodium well couple shakes of the good saltshaker fixes that. I average three or four bottles a month which is pretty good when you figure tomato juice type drinks run about $3.97 at my fresh market across the street. I've gotten so dependent on the tomato juice I even bought a couple bottles last night to hold me over till the next food box day which is the end of the week. But I get so involved with making my tomato juice cocktail that I either slip the morning meds in my mouth and down them or forget to and down the at least eight ounces of tomato juice. I have an empty glass but I don't remember quite did I take my meds are not. 

 I was going over this with Dianne the other day at the village in and her eyes brightened and dug into her purse and brought out a couple of monthly calendars, pocket calendars and explain to me how she had similar problems and she has resorted to this pocket calendar that she put the.on when she takes her morning or evening meds. I would only need to record my morning meds as I always remember my evening meds just because I don't want to spend my night with happy legs as I forgot my baclofen. I've also noticed an evening news which I make a point in watching every night there are more and more commercials for memory enhancers. So obviously I'm not the only one for getting. Again I am somewhat hypervigilant just because of my severe head injury as an adolescent. For some reason I believe that I am more risk for Alzheimer's and other brain disease issues at this don't want to be histrionic. Dianne gave me a couple of the Small calendars which I will keep by my meds and begin the process of connecting the dots from one day to the next making sure all meds are taken…

Friends

I really thought I was going to take it easy today stay in, stay warm and enjoy the vacuum carpets of my apartment. A cold front wanted through bringing clouds, precipitation and chilly temperatures. Not a lot of rain however which was why when Dianne called I thought it would be a great idea to go out for lunch. I love spending time with Dianne is like the old days almost. We can sit and talk and talk and talk drink coffee and realize we are basically on our own. It's kind of crazy I still don't know quite how to think about the whole relationship but I think Dianne's sister said it best when she told Dianne that puts the sister wanted was for Dianne and I seem to have. I'm sure it's just an illusion and the sister sees what she wants and wants to see but in reality she's not willing to pay the price.

Dianne just spent the last hundred and some days aiding and abetting her sister who is going through a rough spot with her husband the sky pilot living in North Carolina. Something about the North Carolina Hills I think makes people do crazy things I don't care how beautiful the Carolinas are but still the deep South and weird things happen in the deep South. Dianne over to her house and her life to her little sister. She actively assisted her sister in getting medical and legal attention,Healthcare and a safe place to decompress. Too bad however things didn't take, this time, and the little sisters come back to the Carolina Hills to her castle made of wood and her idol made of clay. I have never been called to care for a member of my family as Dianne has and does. I guess I'm fortunate in that members of my family have kind of done that for me. I lived at one time in the Carolinas because my brother took me in what may parents needed a rest not only for me (as an adolescent) but also for me as a person with a pretty significant disability. My older brother bedroom in his home and then took care of me and I mean took care of me as well as carded me back and forth to school through a major race riot the day Martin Luther King was assassinated and has continued to assist me ever since.

I'm not sure what Diane's and my relationship really is We're probably going to be a couple of old coots like Tracy and Hepburn, Fonda and Hepburn,Nicholson and Hunt and a bunch more seasoned couples making the best of getting old or being old. We laugh, we talk about our families, we gossip about our friends include against the controlling government and its white male leadership.She's got the house and the message goes along with it and I've got the apartment and a cleaning person once a week I suppose everything works out.I don't know how long this going to lunch or dinner or maybe breakfast thing is going to last. We're both aging and probably both at risk more so than we would like to think about right now are able to text, telephone and be together in small amounts…

I Think I Have Said Too Much…

Remember couple of days ago I was going on about weird dreams I was having our sensations right after waking that might be related to the dreams? I was really getting concerned about my well-being during this period of time even perhaps a bit and irrationally, but even thinking that I might be having something like a stroke are a preliminary stroke I don't know. Sadly, this was happening about the same time that I was beginning my OT regimen for the next couple weeks with Nikki. As I've also indicated Nikki is also very easy to visit with and for some reason at my last session I kind of opened up about some of these feelings I've been having, more so then I have to anyone else. For some reason this seemed so natural but I did see (and it could be just my imagination) concern in her eyes. I didn't think about it at the time but it seemed like I also noted her fingers flying over the keyboard of your laptop. These things are going down in my personal record, that record that seems to be all over IHC computer system. That always shocks me when I go to the doc and they asked me about things that I only told one person and that was another IHC professional. Oh, but doesn't really bother me in fact I'm somewhat glad that the system is so copious in detail. However, as I put distance between myself and the events causing this discussion I seem to feel that I may have overreacted. I just hope now I'm not “given the opportunity to volunteer for the trip to a good psych counselor”. Again afford to be an adult about the whole situation may be spending time with a good shrink might be worth the time and energy particularly if it's picked up by my insurance coverage. I'm certainly not going to voluntarily suggest psychological intervention at least not now. The flip things right for a couple months and see where things go.

Today was a good day. For the first time this month we had an actual Assist meeting. I of course was the only one who showed up besides David but he's the director so that doesn't count. We had a page and a half of names we marched right through them. Because none of the other participants were there we did the names in record time. I was back out on the street well before lunch hour. I want to see this artsy film JoJo Rabbit. I saw this film advertised at my Regal theater by the time I wanted to see it it was no longer there and now only screening at theaters downtown on by the Salt Lake film society, a private nonprofit group specializing “Art-house” movies. I just missed the beginning of the movie when I first inquired and had to wait a couple hours. I wandered around downtown dreaming and enjoying the downtown Ambience. The movie was a great but somewhat entertaining I'm glad that I went, I'm glad that I had the means and the opportunity to be an artsy kind of guy, at least to think I am…

Pretty Slick Chick

Larissa lives in my building. She's older than I am, first-generation German I'm pretty sure German could be Slavic but appreciate striven. I'm always guarded when around her. She's very very conservative one can only imagine. She's very supportive of the American president even before he was president. I did not intend to but she kind of trapped me into a number of conversations which ended up in very loud shouting matches. I should know better. I was raised a big family I know what entrapments like and I know how to avoid it but sometimes I slept in things, that you roundabout particularly when your guard is down and you think you're among friends.

I think Larissa is a born again Christian. I first got my radar working when a couple summers ago, the first summer after I moved in, she offered me some pretty great fried potatoes on a very nice plate. I enjoyed the potatoes and when I went to give them back she caught me in the religious conversation. I never did give the plate back and I have seen her rarely in the interim. Oh we're casual we even get along. I still, however, go out of my way to avoid her and I see her approaching. I missed trust any of her good deeds she does for anyone but especially for me. I sense that she's trying to Christianize me. Things got very awkward last week when I was coming into the building from an afternoon out and ran into Larisa downloading items from her car. She must've been to Walmart or Costco or wherever they have rotisserie chickens available for a very affordable price. I was cordial I said hello to smile yet tried not to engage. It was then when Larisa asked me if I liked roast chicken…?! Is this a trick question? Who does not like roast chicken? But I could sense there is a “hook” to the question. Larissa pulled out a roast chicken in one of those cute little plastic coffins Which the roast chickens are conveniently placed. Then Larissa went into this big deal about did I want to chicken and of course I said “no”. She countered by know if the fact that she was doing her Christmas early this year and she got me the chicken for an early Christmas present. How can I refute that? I could be a creep and totally refuse the chicken (perhaps is what she wanted maybe the whole incident was a Seinfeld episode offer the chicken and I'm supposed to turn it down). Lotus was insistent I finally relented and now have been carving the chicken up all week for dinner our sandwiches and I still have half a chicken to go. I don't know where they get the chickens from but the huge.

Hohoho/Merry Christmas and a chicken in every pot. Now I kind of feel indebted to Larissa for some sort of Christmas offering is in response. Where I figure I still got a good month before Christmas at least so maybe I get to the dollar store or maybe I'll just send her a pizza, a Christmas pizza that's it that would be just perfect…

Putting Fun In Functionality

Now I don't want to burn you guys out regarding this new phase of my life of occupational therapy and time with Nikki but it's the only thing that seems to be happening in my life right now except traumas regarding my electrical equipment to one sort or another. Therefore I'm going to explore more and more this concept of electrical stimulation. I know I wrote a little bit about this last week but I had another week of stim. Nicky left the electrodes on longer this week, she kept turning the power of like a mad doctor and some Frankenstein remake. She does get a gleam in her eye but she sees my fingers dance around. This last week we used new patches brand-new out of the package I thought she was going to wet her parents she was so excited. Electrode patches were so sticky I thought skin was going to come off when she decided to rip the patches free (and that was on my account because she was slowly parlayed the patches off which hurt like a mother trucker so I told her to do the fast rep) and she did. No flesh was hurt and I was rubbing the spot but I don't know from the adhesiveness of the patch on electrical stimulation is also burning. I did see any smoker anything so I guess that's okay.

I'm excited that the level of excitement that Nikki exhibits in me. Each week we tackle a new area it seems like. This last week Nikki seemed a bit restrained, any more than once that we are exploring avenues that are interested to me. I guess she means that if I don't feel like developing the pincher function of my thumb and forefinger's is important since I am getting along okay without stronger pincer movement that they won't necessarily work on developing that particular skill set. However, I know this means a lot to her that I am able to do this. But the more I think about it she does have a point I need to examine do I really want to sharpen up the skills for don't need to that in the long run really will do me any good because I'm getting by pretty darn good with what I've got. I think for the time being I'm going to let this idea ride and continue to explore other areas of occupational therapy and living independent. I don't know if I would have her come to my apartment as I did with Casey and he was able to see how I lived and gave me some pointers on what I might do to increase my functionality. However, I am pretty functional. It's not like I wanted more functionality when I entered this area of occupational therapy I just wanted to use up the hours I had coming to me via my insurance protocols. So exploration is the main concept I need to explore and maybe through this exploration will find some avenues to exploit. I mean one of the things I might like to do is get hooked back up to a ceiling rail like we did at the rehab facility I stayed at couple years ago. That was grand fun. I know this is not essentially supposed to be fun but that's how I'm going to treat it. Good use of my hours and have some fun and maybe if I get some functionality and maybe even some stretching out of it all the better…

Tech Probability Storm

I'm stuck right in the middle of the technology probability storm, what I mean by that is everything that touches me technologically seems to be malfunctioning for one reason or another. Fortunately none of the malfunctions have been life-threatening just annoying. Earlier in the week the electrical outlet right behind my bed what I have The lamp above my bed plugged in as well is the bed itself of the two the bed is the more critical. I can actually get in and out of my bed without the lamp being on the I'm going to read, which I like to do every night, I got I had the lamp. The bed like I said is much more critical because it's electrical and because the back comes up sits me up as well is the foot of the bed rises as well and allows me to position myself not only for doing things like cathing during the night But also allowing me to transfer into bed when I get into bed as well as transfer from my bed to the chair when I get up in the morning both areas are critical to me living independently. So when for whatever reason the plug-in behind the bed loosens in the bed stops I'm SOL unless I can finagle it are I can do a transfer. Those two items are technology but more annoying than anything else. My power chair is another issue entirely. I need to have it functional. I don't know if it's related but yesterday at some point my foot box stopped functioning. The foot box allows my feet to stay secure on the foot plate. The box is supplied by the electronic harness one that went bad a few weeks ago or maybe a couple months and I actually had to have it replaced. The foot box articulates and so when it goes down to a certain level another motor kicks in and actually lifts my feet are legs up so I can drive my chair around. When that box does not articulate fully it leaves the box down dragging and has my legs kind in the air and allowing are not allowing me to get underneath things like the bathroom and kitchen sink are my arm bike. I found that I tip back in my chair enoughSo I can drive around here at least. Fortunately after about two hours the connection seem to come back online.

This afternoon I was positioning myself in my chair which means I tell my chair back and then push off the foot plate which allows me to bridge and reposition my weight on my butt. This is great for me but it's painful for my chair I'm sure and today a portion of the footplate fell off our hung down. So frustrating. Luckily I was able to contact my brother who would be driving around town this afternoon this evening anyway taking kids to a ballgame so he stop by and once again fixed my chair and keeps me going. So frightening as it is I just have to get through this probability storm and hope no big pieces of technology falls in my lap.

Market Street Grill

I'm not sure if I enjoy these screenings offered through Utah Film Society for the access to unique and interesting films as much as I enjoy having a great excuse to have some downtown dining. I think I miss not being downtown every day like I was for so many years the exposure to really decent restaurants and unique places to eat. Not that I did a lot imbibing in the your local restaurant trade but I knew that I could if I wanted. One of my all time favorite downtown joints/eateries is the famous Salt Lake Market St., Grill. I think the Market St., Grill (M S G) was one of the first classy places I went to when I moved into the city in 1984. There were a group of folks from the private nonprofit industry that would meet a couple times a month at the Market Street Grill for breakfast. The Market still offers breakfast beginning at 6:30 AM Monday through Friday and I think 7 AM on Saturdays. It's a little bit more expensive than some of the other places one can grab an early morning breakfast but surely not as classy. I kind of miss those days fun times. As I wrote yesterday I nearly forgot about the screening of the film On disability. Suddenly remembering about the film I was taken completely off guard and I was running a bit late. I had it in my plan to get downtown early enough to have dinner at the Grill. Now however I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make my connections to get downtown in time for the curtain are the beginning of the screening. Even though the downtown area is relatively close in I'm always lost it seems even though I've been down there is much as I am. I took the train into town got off at Galvan and went around the corner and there was market Street! I rolled into the restaurant about 6:00 PM. It was already dark and felt so much later. I went through the whole rigmarole of telling the person that it was just me dining by myself and being assigned a table. My server was named Fred and I immediately buttonholed Fred and ask them how soon I could get my soup because all really wanted was clam chowder which I love from the Market St., Grill. They have a good-sized bowl of soup with half a loaf of crusty hard bread which is divine. Fred said he'd take care of me and that you'd immediately bring my soup and on top of that advised me that the theater that I want to go to a stride around the corner. True to his word he soon had me faced with a beautiful bowl of clam chowder. I also had the French loaf hard crust cut. For the first time my life I asked my server to butter my bread. I was expected he would just grab the bread and the butter and spread. I would not of been surprised if it's the dumbest pair of plastic gloves but instead whisked the whole loaf back in the kitchen coming out a couple minutes later the two perfectly buttered pieces of bread. What a great time. I enjoyed my soup thoroughly sopping up the last of the soup with the buttered bread. I still had two thirds of the loaf which I had Fred put into a a bag that I can hang off my chair to get home. I was surprised and pleased to see that I had more than 30 minutes to get to my destination which is right around the corner. So I summoned Fred my server over, Fred would been so nice to make sure that I got my soup and my bread buttered. I fished out my wallet was fumbling for my credit card when Fred said “that's okay is taking care of” I wasn't sure what I heard as more focused on my credit card and handed it to Fred who again looked at me and smiled and said not the right I've taken care of it that finally seeped into my mind what he meant – – Fred had paid for my dinner. I of course was a bit taken aback, a little embarrassed but really humbled and appreciative and of course a little worried because of my fear of being taken as a hobo. But no, I thanks Fred and stuffed the card back into my wallet grabbed my bag to bread and took off for a wonderful evening at the screening. Not the Fred wreck the screening for me he did not that certainly his move of gallantry was the high point of my evening I'm still smiling… Him andHim

Wednesday Night At The Movies

I was jolted with the start yesterday afternoon, about 3:30 PM when I realized that the screening of a film at the Rose Wagner Theatre by the Salt Lake film society was tonight! I was very much interested in the offering this week because it supposedly was about disability which of course, makes it somewhat mandatory that I should consider going since I belong to that group. I wasn't sure what to expect. I'm surprised I was contacted by the Utah DD Council or even my old boss Claire used to be director that counsel. She usually keeps her finger on the pulse of things disability special developmental disability. Anyway the weather's been so nice lately and even though the days are darker earlier I figured why not check it out it would be a great experience and then I forget all about it. Oddly, it was just the day before maybe two days before that I was visiting with my friend Lori who indicated that she was probably going to go so I felt somewhat obligated that if Lori attend the film screening, and it would be greatly difficult for her to do so, I should attend at least make an effort.

I sort of threw myself together pretty quickly. Think about the Salt Lake film society is that you don't have to be pretentious. Seem like a bunch of aging hippies and other folks who enjoy a free night at the movies it of the movies can be somewhat avant-garde or different. Actually in my estimation that's half the fun of going to the film society offerings is to see who shows up and how they dressed and make up stories about each individual that you see.I was kind surprised at how quickly is able to get ready and out to the bus stop going inbound. I figured I had enough time to stop somewhere along the line for a quick dinner. I decided that I be able to drop in at my favorite place downtown which Is Market St., Grill and grab a bowl of clam chowder my favorite. I was shocked suddenly realizing the time was moving faster than anticipated and was not sure I'd be able to get downtown hit the Market and make it to the movie on time. But I didn't (tomorrow, I intend to post about dinner at Marketplace Grill.

I'm still somewhat astonished that is able to get to the Rose Wagner in time for the start of the movie. As I usually do I got somewhat confused on directions downtown and even went to the wrong theater. For me there's nothing more dis- jointing and showing up at a venue and being the only one there is what I did last night when I showed up at the Doris Echols theater space complex in downtown Salt Lake and quite obviously nothing was happening. The place seemed abandoned but there were people inside wondering around obviously staff which I soon buttonholed and asked them about the offering. They did not know anything about Change For Life But did some checking and I found the theater that I wanted was the Rose Wagner which is about half a block away.

The movie was posted by Utah film society and by a local personality was also a host of a local radio show on the NPR network here in town. He introduced the writer/director of the film. The film was billed as a comedy is kind of weird had a very strong beauty and the beast motif with an actress who is the beauty and a disfigured faced individual as the beast. The film was a film within a film type of scenario the plot line being beautiful model movie star and movie with disfigured actor who is part of a troop of “Circus people”In a lot of ways reminded me of the 1930's film “Freaks”. The movie is relatively new I think around 2016 but still seem to have some traditional disability caricatures and assumptions. The best redeeming quality of the movie was the actually used one or two will folks with disabilities – – the disfigured guy, a person short stature/little person, bearded woman fake conjoined twins, giant etc. etc. I doubt had enough when the movie was over and I was anxious to get out of there to make sure I got to the train on time to make a home. The county would like to a state for the Q&A but I don't know how I would've reacted. Interesting note there was one scene of frontal nudity with both female and male leads a third of the population of the theater got up and left. I don't know if the nudity offended but there was definitely something going on.

If he did not see a have not seen Chained For Life.I would say you did not miss a whole lot but still was good enough for a a Wednesday night to be downtown after dark feeling part of the world…

To Be or Not Be...Histrionic

I don't mean to be an alarmist or histrionic but I feel something is happening, I don't know quite what the somethingbut Is happening and I can ignore it any longer. It's not painful at this time but things are changing. I don't feel quite right inside myself. I've noticed this change most since I had to replace the motor on the bed. This change could have happening before the motor broke on the bed but now it's obvious to me. When I tumbled into bed at the end of the day I try to get comfortable. I sleep on my right side I guess I always have especially since the accident. Now, I think it has something to do with how my one side is less strong than the other but I do sleep on my right side pulling my right leg up underneath my left leg. When we got the motor switched and I got into bed everything felt different. I just wrote the feeling as “new” item phenomenon in this case motor phenomenon. I was pleased at how well the motor worked and how silent and efficient the motor now seemed over what it was. But the mattress just didn't feel quite right. My brother had done excellent job remaking the bed really much better than my caregiver does. I should've been in seventh heaven and I tried to be but I couldn't get out of the telestial Kingdom.

Not only this physical thing of not feeling comfortable in bed anymore – – and let me say that being comfortable may not be very accurate because I really had to struggle to even get a feeling of comfort but I could achieve that eventually. Now does not seem to be so much. Springs to mind some of the memory thing I'm going through right now. Many times I wake up and I believe I'm forgetting things. Dreams are one thing I expect to lose those on achieving consciousness either quickly are over a period of time but many times as I lay there just post sleep I feel I'm forgetting all kinds of things. Things that should be remembering and it feels like it's getting worse. This morning I had this feeling strongly. So strong to the point I got a little nervous if not frightened. I'm wondering for example in my having many strokes is that why the bed this him feel like it used to? Do I have onset of Alzheimer's and is this anxiety I'm feeling the feeling of memory loss? Not that it makes a whole lot of difference and I don't know if I has any bearing on what I'm writing about now by boss but waking up quite early 2:15 AM 3:15 AM and then just barely sleeping past that point this is when I and up pondering these frightening things to me. What's odd is that often I go to the day with very little impact as far as sleep loss goes. Sometimes it would be grand to take a nap but I never do.

What I think is a good thing or me just in the bargaining scenarios is that as I gain consciousness and begin my day. Getting up and out of bed is best example I am okay. I swing my legs out of bed over the chair grabbed my trapeze and do the switch line up my legs then sliding the my power chair, pull away from the bed then we positioned myself and then off to the races I go. If it's an odd day I wait for my home health person, I make the coffee, do some dishes clean up the kitchen I'm doing everything okay. If it's not day I do the business in the bathroom, do my shaving get dressed get breakfast and get on with my day. I'm doing good. Even now as I write this I'm thinking I might just been histrionic? What is going on? I feel great, my words are coming quickly and smoothly. I'm enjoying my day, I'm reading well and I want to go out I could do that. I just don't know what is causing this other feeling of anguish, memory loss and discomfort as I sleep are trying to sleep through the night. A lot to think about for the old guy but I'm glad to be where I am... I just have questions.

Of Vagabonds and Una-bombers

It was not really cold yesterday when I went to the movies but still, I felt like I needed to wear something just in case they had the air conditioning on the bus or in the movies or something and I didn't want to have to wear a heavy jacket so I ended up taking a blanket one of the flannel type blankets I have kicking around here. I've been using these pieces of flannel to wrap around my legs when I go out in the cold weather. This gives me that institutional look like so desire. However, I also wrap blanket around my neck like a muffler or shawl and then I have something to keep me warm should I need such a device. I didn't really pay much attention to what I was wearing until I rolled in from of a shop window or something and I could see there is a piece hanging down behind me then I saw the shadow on the ground as I traveled from the bus stop on the way home. Then I realized once again I am beginning to look like a hobo a bum someone who's just marginal.

I must've just – that thought in the back of my mind but must have been the kernel of inspiration for part of a dream sequence I had during the night about being homeless, being dirty being unkept and pathetic. I would like to think this would not really affect me much in real life but the more I laid there post dream the more I really didn't want to be one of those public transit hobos. I know things are always magnified beyond recognition in the dream. I suppose it's the way the body/brain let you know that you might need to be paying attention to something. Of course, once I realized what was happening I began to distance myself from my gut feeling which I don't know if that's all that healthy. But all day long I've been thinking about my appearance and do I need to be working on it. Perhaps its rationalization but you know I did order new shirts the last month or so and I did order a new hoodie. Sometimes I were the hoodie or a heavy sweater around my neck like a preppy. Perhaps this is what I need to do instead of wrapping the blanket around my shoulders. It's when the blanket hangs down or drags behind me that I think I am most at risk for looking downtrodden. The bottom line is that I need to care what I look like and then work at it. Nothing like a good cliché insert (nothing of value ever comes easy or something like that) and I suppose it's true. If I really cared I would be wearing socks socks in the summertime and socks in the wintertime. I would also where long pants especially in the wintertime. I think that's when people notice most of person that wheelchair and shorts. I'm not going to do the latter two items just because one I'm lazy and to I'm cheap. I have found that I cut my clothes washing experience probably in half. I also cut the weight of the dirty clothes hamper in half as well lugging the close back-and-forth to the washer and dryer. I could wear socks with us just another item I have to take off to go to bed. I just don't know why this creeps me out so much should not I shouldn't care but apparently how I appear in public does. You know I did some research on shawls a little while ago and found that there are some made for men – – Middle East men. What if I got one of those to wrap around my shoulders and then I just have to be cautious about being targeted as the Unabomber…

Marching Leaves

Something happened over the weekend is quite puzzling to me because it wasn't cold by any means the cold snap having past couple weeks earlier. But I was seriously interested in watching the trees outside my window drop their leaves with a rapidity that was almost astounding. The breeze to blow and off would come a handful of leaves floating to the ground. Trees losing their leaves has always intrigued me for one reason or another. At one time I sat in my car and liberty Park and watch the tree drop all of its leaves within a 45 minute. I had never witnessed a tree just drop everything. Since that time my curiosity has been significant. Surely, a stiff wind does help in the removal of such leaves but what is even more enjoyable is watching these legions March hurriedly at the the blow of the wind across yards down the streets running freely untill blocked by a tree, curb chain-link, trees or park benches. I enjoy watching these legions throw themselves upon each other and the giant mounds of soft beckoning pouches.

Did you know the all leaves can be smoked? These loser not as enjoyable as say tobacco, cannabis or even Hollyhock leaves but they can be cured i.e. dried crumpled and packed into a pipe are rolled in paper ignited and inhaled joyously. My friend John enlightened me as to the joyous smoking hollyhock leaves in my days of a youth. John was quite ingenious if not precocious. I always admired how much he read them and I'm sure I was about seven or eight years old maybe a little bit older John did already read the two main volumes of Mark Twainn Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer both of whom were young pipe smokers on the Mississippi. And they more than once smoked hollyhock leaves and cornsilk when available. I have my ideas about cornsilk I can't believe that that would stay lit long enough for a good smoke. John instructed me in the fine art of corncob pipe making. He showed me how to corncobs and then how to secure a raspberry twig then haul the twig out with a wire similar to a paperclip unfolded, remarkably the device worked remarkably well. I loved the summer morning in the back of the cattle barns lighting up and blowing out copious volumes of beautiful blue smoke. What a wonderful time.

Quite fortunately at least for folks who are out in the environment this is a warm autumn and for one reason or another the brisk cold weather has held off a side from a quick two weeks early on. I'm sure the cold is waiting to to descend from Canada in the next week or so but until such time I plan to sit back and watch my trees to fully eight themselves with each gust of the Wind, than watch the legions marched themselves Briskly across the driveway to the chain-link fence leading to the park and know the barren trees sleep.

Life's Been Good…

I really did absolutely nothing today and I don't feel too guilty either. I suppose I could mitigate my guilt A little by saying that I didn't want to aggravate my tender butt and driving around tends to do that sometimes. I'm sure I just need a good but wash (which I should get tomorrow because it's home health day for me – – home health Monday). Truthfully however I didn't have anywhere to go, I suppose I could have saddled up and gone up to the movies that just seems like a waste of money and something I really don't like to do on a Sunday unless a really good movie might be playing. But I was happy to hang around the apartment and pretend like I was doing something positive. The High Point of the day so far was a call for my daughter was on her way to pick up the girls who'd been visiting with her dad over the weekend. Shelley and I have started these daddy daughter talk a-thons when she drives from one of her jobs are when she picks up the kids or when she will be driving a long time and need someone to talk to during the drive. We have great discussions covering all kinds of issues, some family related, some kid related some historically related but it's always a good conversation that we have and that I'm glad to stop whatever I'm doing when she calls. I would imagine the calls average about an hour in length. We continually talk there are no pauses pregnant or otherwise however, sometimes there is yawning going on She was sleeping poorly the other night. Anyway an interesting thought that I brought up during the conversation was how I was feeling a little guilty for not doing more with my day – – sort of like what I started this blog with.

I told Michelle that I was getting more and more comfortable with just hanging out inside my apartment. Amazingly, thinking of all the technological tie-ins that I enjoy. Whether I'm texting Dianne or a friend I have in the Netherlands or my buddy in Mexico. I text these folks for only often and when I'm done especially if it's a video text I feel asked to spend time with them (yes, I know I did spend time with and but like I actually visited with them which I did, 09 getting all confused but you know what I mean) I guess what I'm writing is that I don't feel cooped up, isolated cut off from the world. I have my text, Netflix and Amazon subscriptions and my writing, which is basically blogging but still it's writing and I do it every day, I work out I cook and I have my weekly monthly meetings and go out to eat regularly with friends. I think I'm doing okay, it's not like I'm doing trips to Europe, Hawaii, the outback are going on campouts but I relatively happy doing what I'm doing. I'm especially excited and feeling involved with the new occupational therapy regimen I'm doing with Nikki. I'm improving I'm not doing the art classes which I probably should be doing for all the reasons I've outlined before. I'm trying to be more proactive and protective of my ass, literally. I think of my friends who are all in severe medical situations from things like pressure sores and worse and thinking I'm doing okay. People love me people help me when I need help and people respond to my Facebook postings I guess I'm doing all right… Consider Joe Walsh and life's been good :-)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

Carbon Based Dinner

I'm so excited. My brother Carl, called this morning Oh, around 9 AM I appreciate them call him later but actually I been up since a little after 7 AM. It was another night of trying to adjust to know way of raising my head. I got up around 4 AM empty my bladder demo back to bed and actually slept for almost 3 hours what a difference three hours makes. Anyway, he was coming over to put the motor on the bed fixing the bed! The beds fixed tonight I should be able to sleep much more comfortable. Poor Carl, he worked all morning on the project before getting the new motor on and the bid put back together. I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was not quite 12 o'clock when he left to finish his day of errands and outside work. I still had time to make it over to the food bank and see what treasures might be over there today. I had taken a bit of a hiatus from the food bank for the last three weeks. No particular reason except that I probably had enough chicken and pork can goods to meet my needs. Still is always something exciting about finding something special at the food bank.

It was 11:50 when I got to the front door and to my liking there was no one else in line was able to go straight in. The staff welcomed me like a long lost family member that made me feel good. Among the usual things today's quasi treasures included a pretty messed up box of Wheat thins, 2 pounds of pistachios in the shelves and the big treasure: 2 pound plus try a point steak! The steak was frozen and already seasoned in some sort or read stuff. It seemed huge for one person but that's okay I'm glad they saw fit to bestow this gift of protein on me. I took my treasures back to the apartment and decided I'd cook the steak tonight for dinner. My Saturday treat was to take myself to the market and buy things to keep me over the weekend so I don't have to break the Sabbath and run to the market. I got jumbo eggs, 12 cups of ice cream – I really like these individual servings and cups like we used to get in the old days I company outings, school celebration events in such you remember, the paper cups with the tab on top that you pulled off to enjoy the ice cream music came with a little flat wooden spoon. While today is still the same size roughly but all plastic and no spoon, Individually sized is perfect for one treat. I got the mandatory bananas and frozen burritos for next week some pretty will set. Even if it's just the market and the food bank I feel like I've done something today.

I noticed by six this evening the steak was thawed and intimidating me to not cooked I knew if I didn't take action I might not cooked so I took action. The kitchen was to clean from yesterday's visit from the cleaning person so I dove in. I actually downloaded a recipe or to the cooking tri-tip steak and I figured I knew what I was doing. 12 to 18 minutes on each side after searing both sides. I think I made the mistake by searing the me too long. The got pretty carbon-based I was quite dismayed I did try to cook the meat 18 minutes but it was just smoking way too much I am surprised the fire alarm didn't go off. I was using olive oil and the cast iron skillet I got from Dianne. I opened the door to the outside turned on the fan over the stove maybe that's what saved my bacon. I sort of made the decision to let the steak cool then wrap it up and throw it in the crockpot tomorrow for a slow cook but after a few minutes I cut off the tip of the steak and aside from the steak being fairly tough I like the flavor and the charcoal coating just increased the flavor. So, I'm just going to drop what's left of the steak in the plastic bag and toss it in the fridge and then maybe cut slices all at once or meal by meal this coming week. It's a bit of a challenge eating the meat especially with my messed up tooth and I'm going to have to spend a major portion of time in front of the mayor flossing out the other teeth that are still functional. I think alley cleanup till tomorrow and enjoy the treasure steak from the food bank…

The Least I Could Do

Why do I feel so guilty? You will all remember a couple of years ago when I decided to go full bore and get a cleaning person for my apartment. I found a great cleaning person from my apartment manager here at Plymouth view. But like everything else my time with Jennifer was limited because for one reason or another she got out of the cleaning business. What a shame she is my first and the best. Next I end up engaging one of my first caregivers back in the old days at the old house but I still married. She's actually quite aged and am amazed that she continues I has to continue to work in order survive. There is quite a long time after Jennifer before I end up going with Gail. Gail was okay a little slower but you charged a lot less than other women in the trade. Recently, you will remember, Gail had the automobile accident and I really thought that she was done with housework and such. She had to replace her vehicle entirely on her own and I do not know how she pulled that rabbit out of the hat but Gail did and on the road again.

When I had Jennifer the first and best house keeper I only used here for one hour a week she got everything done within that hour. He Gail and the others just have not measured up to the standard of Jennifer but I was still pleased to have them because they made my apartment livable for me. Gail insisted on two hours a visit which scared me at first out what it will cost me $30 in cash, under the table. What a system. When Gail had her accident, naturally also left without a cleaning person. Annette who is been providing home health services were three or four months now ever since my last person left does a great job of cleaning the place while I'm doing my bowel program which takes anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes! Vacuuming floors, mopping the kitchen and the bathroom, starting wash and even folded wash when she's here in the wash is done drying. Within the hour that I have her through the agency she really keeps the apartment maintained very well. So with Gail out of the picture I naturally offered the same deal to Annette who took it and somehow it's worked into every week cleaning versus wants or twice a month. I'm blessed because I can do that financially right now and I really do enjoy the level of service that I've gotten from Annette.

This afternoon as Annette was here to do the two hours, from 3 to 5. I have to think of things for her to do to absorb the two hours. Today I was having Annette help me stir biscuits from a mix. There was a knock on the door and in came Gail. I had the weirdest feeling of being caught, of mixed it up with another woman. I was totally shocked from what I had heard from the accident that I was sure that Gail is going to be out of commission for some time but here she was back in the game and I think she really needs to work. I don't know what I can do because I don't think it's fair to break the contract with Annette who also really needs the work. Gail and I talked for a little bit she dropped off the towels and then was gone. Nobody talked about anything but I think it'll go on as is. Perhaps I can refer Gail over to somebody else who is looking for some possible options for light housekeeping. It's the least I can do…

Time Bomb

My mouth is a time bomb!

I'm just enthralled with how nice the weather is this first week of November. The temperature is about 10° higher than it should be which is great for me but not so good for good on planet Earth. Global warming it's here how care what they say. But, being out and about the sure a lot nicer on days like today in this week than rain/snow and whatever cold weather comes with it. I took off later than I wanted today because my home health person was late. I was somewhat excited however, to meet with my new occupational therapist and treatment which was outstanding. I was running late getting to my bus but had enough time to stop and get some snacks and as a reward for getting on with my occupational therapy I purchased myself a bag of trail mix, hot and spicy. Peanuts, small little pieces of cracker type material sunflower seeds you know the stuff you never really want to buy but you do on the impulse which I did.

My time with Nikki by therapist is great! I think are really good do some good stuff. She turned loose after an hour – – one hours all you get. So I heading out looking for looking for somewhere to eat. Thinking of McDonald's or maybe something more substantial at the hospital cafeteria since I had to talk to some hospital folks about an appointment I have coming up. However, as I was munching on my guilty pleasure I suddenly felt the glasslike marble texture rolling around my mouth knowing instantly that a piece of tooth had sheared off from the mother load. Gingerly, I explored my teeth and found a gaping hole where the small cavity had sensed earlier in the week had been. Luckily I had scheduled an appointment for today. Totally freaked out I continued the examination with inhalation and there was no pain, no pressure pain and seemingly able to chew okay. However, this new revelation drove me to softer items for lunch considerations. They're having shepherds pie at the hospital cafeteria which is basically hamburger and mashed potatoes which I took and enjoyed. I made it to the night and now I wait for my appointment with Dr. Anderson in the drill, there will be a drill is always a drill. More important than anything else Dr. Anderson is the bomb diffusion specialist who will diffuse the timebomb ticking away inside my mouth.

You really hope the bomb expert diffuses the bomb. Well, my bomb expert, DDS, did the best they could and it's a process that is ongoing. I did the whole 9 yards I rolled in their during their lunch hour I was about 20 minutes early. They pulled me to the back room that's for the work on me at the is more room in there for the power chair since I don't Exit my chair. Quite a discussion about the severity of the tooth or what's left of a tooth. We decided the best for going to be able to do is a build up essentially do some drilling expose what we can then just build the hell out of it and put in a temporary crown as long as it's going to last. The docs pretty comfortable with the solution is not a long-term solution by any means deftly not permanent but easy to buy me a couple years and then we'll figure out something else if and when that time comes. I'm not really all too sure what that means but the best crapshoot I could throw at the time. It sounds sounds like it's going to be around 200 bucks so I figured what the hell shoot the wad I ordered nitrous is much as I could get as deep as I can breathe for as long as needed. Today was mostly prep work Doc said that he felt pretty comfortable that this temporary would hold for a couple weeks at least but if not, worst-case scenario, I could just come back and they would take care of it after all I live just across the street. So, I'm hoping and praying this temporary is going to hold for as long as it has to. The bomb technician can at least take its hands off the the bomb but the "Bomb" is still ticking and can go supernova anytime-- So I will take  care of the temporary and in two weeks when I return We will if this a  rabbit magician can pull out of his hat…