Friday, January 31, 2020


I think I'm in the mood. Being in the mood is not necessarily a good thing just means that I'm irritated for one reason or another and not necessarily aware of that fact. But, aware enough to the point that this morning when I check mail there was a business, windowed envelope from KUER one of the local public radio stations in the Valley here. I traditionally have listened to this particular channel since they are the NPR affiliate. However I don't know what it is to be the whole impeachment thing, the rearranging of the schedule so it's hard to find any of the shows I traditionally have listened to or maybe, just maybe it's one more solicitation envelope from a private nonprofit begging for money. I don't mean to be a tear here but I'm just getting sick and tired of my public radio station weaseling more and more money out of me. It's bad enough like a suffer at least two fundraising weeks a year that seems like a lot more than that when they try to throw in a “flash” fund drive somewhere in between the two traditional fund drives.

I pulled a letter out of my mailbox ground my teeth a little bit that did the throat ground then made a commitment to myself that I'm just going to stop the five dollar a month payment I give these guys. I know it's just a pittance 60 bucks a year but I've had enough. Even the whole “sustaining thing” irritated the snot out of me. Granted I'm cheap enough but also the 20 bucks during the pledge drive to get a free coffee mug or subscription to the New Yorker magazine or whatever they're willing to give up. The whole sustainability thing as a gimmick and I understand that and 60 bucks is more than 20 bucks but it's 40 bucks more than I want to give my public radio station. And I think just the suffering to pledge drives a year was worth 40 bucks but no more!

I'm going to open the envelope and use their own envelope (without a stamp I see) and write them a letter back telling them I'm down sustaining the program. Even if they go down the tubes without my 60 bucks (which I seriously doubt is going to happen). I have long past the point where I feel guilty withholding my funding stream. I mean they totally messed up my viewing schedule. Who has time to listen to the Market Place at 3 in the afternoon? Luckily, I can usually snatch the WNYC broadcast at 4:30 PM. If I missed that I can usually scrounge around around 8 o'clock or 9 PM to find a podcast version regardless of the pain in the butt. I don't need this hassle. The local affiliate for NPR is even started messing up their own shows. We really are bit self-righteous going from regular programming to just podcasting but still unclear about all of that.

I opened the document up thinking surely it's going to be another gimme, gimme, gimme but actually it was my year-end document indicating how much I paid into the station over the year. In this case, as noted, 60 big ones! Removed painlessly from my checking account every month. Five bucks, zip gone! I guess I'm a bit chagrined but not enough to stop this process. I'm going to stop my monthly sustainable contribution. I don't care anymore and you know what?I feel kind of good :-)

Thursday, January 30, 2020

Wedding Belles

It's getting on spring, the holidays are long past and typically we are sitting in the “dead” of winter. However that descriptor, colorful as it is, no longer really describes the season. Call it what you well and I will stick with global warming but the days are a bit overcast but with much more rain and snow, which would be typical of the season. So begin to feel a lot like spring that means wedding announcements. I was intrigued when I went to the mail Monday or Tuesday and pulled out a hand addressed piece of mail. I did not immediately recognize the return address or the name till I put together the names of the two individuals who sent the announcement. The announcement was from my niece and her intended. I cannot say I was surprised after all I received a great Christmas card from the two over the holidays. I was not surprised only that they were being so open and what I deem a fairly conservative family. I was not shocked because I pretty much figured out my niece was gay for a couple of years now.

I think they are a cute couple in their own way. Like all marriage regardless of ethnicity and gender choice marriage is hard . I know I've been there three times, three times the play and struck out all three times. I wish them the very best. I also like them to know how much I appreciate being included in their plans. Sadly, I doubt I would be able to make their event which will be in another state this coming March and with my inability to travel cannot see a way of being there but I do appreciate the inclusion.

We are a hugely blended family. We were blended from the beginning. Mom having been in a couple of marriages adopted a couple of kids (me being one of them) my dad being divorced have three kids coming to the relationship. They blended back in the early 50s. This was back before divorce and remarriage in the blend was a “thing”. As the “thing” of divorce and marriage became more and more common our uniqueness faded into commonplace. Which was good.

To my knowledge this is the first openly gay marriage in this/my family. Legally! I think this is cool and I think it's time. I hope the family will be as inclusive to them as Heidi in Nicole have been to me. As I've indicated my family is fairly conservative. However, I hope they will be able to open arms and welcome this couple in. Hopefully the names will be included on Christmas card lists, other family announcements and invitations to family reunions and other gatherings. Aside from being a family of adopted kids we're also a hodgepodge of social strata, salespeople, categories, lumberjacks, builders, healthcare –professionals salespeople to say nothing of a bunch of retirees and old farts. We are a massive blended group and for the most part we get along just fine. These girls Union will only make a stronger and better family.

Wednesday, January 29, 2020


No photo description available.
New Big Sister!
Wow, the whole birth family thing is kind of world down and seems to only go relegated to a little sooner on the back burner for the past couple months. This is good, I'm sure, allowing me to better wrap my head around this whole concept of stumbling upon my birth family at this point in my life. So, it was with a bit of surprise that today's I'm being contacted by my birth family. I don't know if this is what you would call synchronicity (but I find it's always fun to use a word of this many letters in a sentence). Last night out of the blue I was contacted by my birth brothers daughter. A cute little person I have noticeda couple times on the growing family text group. She's got to be married by public way she signed her name. Making a move to the middle and married name trailing. So, for all I know she's using an image from her adolescence on the Facebook identity. She's putting together a 50 year anniversarycelebration for my older brother, Tony and his wife Carla! One of the few couples in my age group that has reached the 50 year mark. What a predictable but anything to do. I'm kind of impressed. Tony and Carla went down in Utah County about an hour or two from me here in Taylorsville. I truly hope they do not drive the event up here just so I can attend. If they have this event in Utah County I will figure out a way to get there.

Like I said I have sort of been following these guys for a little while so it was not a great surprise when the niece made this announcement. However I cannot say the same for the text I received last night. I was halfway the middle of a Amazon prime movie when I heard the “ding!”sound off in the bedroom and a few seconds later and oval continue popped up in the corner of my screen whereas watching the movie. The oval announced herself as my sister gave herself a brief introduction she wanted me to include her to my group. She definitely had the rest of the families phenotypes, and I suppose the same as I (butI don't see it). I wasn't quite sure what to do with the request. I didn't have a problem with the request per se and certainly authorized access to my text group or Facebook or whatever it is. Then this morning I got a further text inquiry obviously desiring to get into a full-blown conversation. I figured what the heck why not. I found in our short text chat that she was indeed my older sister born 1945! Even more cautiously exciting is that she lives in Salt Lake or more specifically West Valley City. So, she's not that far from me. The conversation was brief but enlightening. She indicated that she was alone, a widow of 10 years. She also strongly suggested that she's always been a long, an only child. Probably, placed by Catholic committee services to a family who could not conceive but just adopted one individual. When she said that, so brief but so alone but almost broke my heart. After all here I am sitting in the middle of 10 children. Talk about two different people. She had to close the text chat relatively soon indicated that she was almost to work. I wish I knew where she worked her what she did. I'm looking forward to meeting this one for some reason.

In one 24 hour period I'm suddenly, once again deep in the concept of being part of a birth family, a big birth family once again just trying to wrap my head…

Tuesday, January 28, 2020

Consumer Cellular… Maybe

I hate to fill my blog with minutia however, the Assist meeting was canceled today which gives me a free day and I don't know why you so important to all my days free days? Some I guess for more free than others. So, when I have nothing scheduled and that feeling fairly well and it's the end of the month and I still have money in the account it's a great day!

I canceled my meeting with the dietitian later this week. I don't know why I just don't like her and I really have nothing to base this dislike with the exception of not really telling me any information I did not already know the story got the feeling that she wasn't going to either. The dietitian is Cheryl and she did give me some really decent handouts on diets and such. She had we signed this document that I have said was superfluous but still cost me possibly 50 bucks. So once again, I did like her and I have the ability to cancel and I did. I think I know not now and continue on with my weight loss initiative, hopefully so. I just don't want any fallout between me and my physician. I think I'm okay here. Granted I was supposed to see this person I think for some sort of prediabetic scenarios but if that's the case I have to find some other source. This may be shortsighted but I felt good counseling

The only thing I have to write on is another dream sequence. I think because I have not been able to get out as usual partially because of my illness and partially because of the weather I just don't have a lot of creative moments to draw from. The dream sequence that I was writing about earlier is sort of another reoccurring type of dream. As near as I can remember now in my waking state I'm once again involved in some sort of a program that I'm not really registered for actually I'm working somewhere not really an employee. I just show up for work every day and everyone just assumes that unemployed at the facility. It's kind of crazy – – Seinfeld did a similar show regarding Kramer goes to work somewhere is not employed and works until they get rid of him. Of course, this all seems so natural in that waking state and somehow I feel I can do this in my regular life which of course is totally wrong. Life just is not work that way.

I'm toying with the idea of going Consumer Cellular. Dianne is quite taken with the organization and I guess I should try to save money where I can. I mean seriously, after all his books are used by cell phone I don't need to spend that kind of money I am right now. And, having to upgrade my phone for some reason the speaker mechanism does not seem to be working. When I called David yesterday on the voice chat video he could not hear me and I cannot use the speech to text function from Google. So maybe it's time to upgrade and use whatever I save monthly with the Consumer Cellularto offset the cost of a new smartphone and really I don't even be a smart phone just one so I can be like the rest of the kids…

Monday, January 27, 2020


I just finished texting a friend of mine from the old days as Dennis not dissimilar from another friend I am from the old days was also named Dennis and went to the same ecclesiastical communal gathering called a ward which I did. This Dennis was much older though and was a bit of a legend as well as personal hero. He would've been what was deemed one of the “big kids”. A universe away from my as a lowly little kid.

Dennis was a larger-than-life kind of individual. He was an All-Star wrestler high school as well as a bit of football sensation as well as a fighter. Dennis was a local icon the kind of guy that everyone kind of adopted or pretended that they knew. My personal memories of Dennis Ward were literal fistfights at the iconic Twin Bridges on the Ridenbaugh Canal South of Boise Idaho. I would spend major portions of summer days at this swimming hole. Big kids like Dennis would slip down to the bridge on their lunch breaks or when they would get off work. I just researched this blog there are number of accounts fictionalized and nonfiction of some of the great fights from those days. I guess the point I am trying to make is that the peculiarities of time I have brought Dennis and I together again not so much as legend and hero as much as friends which, blows my mind.

I guess we have more in common than I think. We are both from the same geographical location and the same congregation. We are both living in Salt Lake and seemed like each other's company. We get together once or twice a year and I just feel that is enough. We actually should get together more it's funny that we do not. Earlier last week I learned that this has cancer. I don't know what kind I don't know how aggressive except that is in the middle of this chemo regimen. This gives me hope Dennis will go through this regimen and be back to his old self. Dennis is a funny guy some might say a joker. Happy-go-lucky. Perhaps his best quality for success in this situation is that he's a fighter, hands down probably the best fighter I will ever know. I still worry about Dennis because watching what happens to him could very well happen to me. I am not nearly as good a fighter as Dennis.

Dennis is scheduled for chemo tomorrow at 11 o'clock. Dennis has six more treatments in this round. I don't know how many more rounds he has. Dennis has already shaved his head after brazenly pulling out handfuls of hair on YouTube. I do not know if I would call this brave as much as entertaining and Dennis is always been an entertainer. Dennis is a sales guy that I mention that earlier? Dennis is self-employed, Dennis has a neat little business selling closet organizing systems and who knows what else. I'm looking forward to my lunch with Dennis hopefully this lunch will be one of many we still have to share…

Sunday, January 26, 2020

D D at Dees

I just cannot believe how irresponsible that I am being regarding food. I'm beginning to see a pattern in my food wastage/usage. I think I like to go to the process of preparing the food than having one or two meals from the food which I prepared that tends to sit in the refrigerator (if I am that responsible). When I was sick, a week and a half ago I made that big batch of chicken soup quasi-chicken noodle soup because I had Campbells chicken noodle soup in the mix. I tried to find my own noodles but gave up and went ahead and processed what I had. The soup turned out all right for what was. Now I'm much better and I think I only ate two bowls of the soup so I still have lots of zuppa of the chicken.

I was fortunate enough to spend the majority of the day with my ex-wife/best friend Dianne. We went to breakfast that spent more time making my apartment much more livable. Was a pretty great day. Couple days ago I thawed two chicken breasts. Actually I just stopped frozen chicken from the freezer straight into the meat drawer of the refrigerator and finally got them today. It was late in the afternoon when I finally liberated to chicken breasts from their container. Note: these were foist go upon me at one of my Food Bank visits. Typically, this packet of protein resides in my refrigerator's freezer until I either use it or becomes so freezer burned that the item is non-usable. I am trying to state my commitment of using all the items in my refrigerator (upper and lower) in a timely manner, wasting as little as possible. Therefore I don't think I've been to the food bank once this year. I don't need anymore frozen chicken or pork. If I could be assured of being that would be another matter I and another blog entry.

The apartment is becoming so organized it is getting that feeling that you don't want to move for fear of producing entropy. But I went ahead and pulled out a cookie sheet and actually found a box of tinfoil (actually Dianne found the tinfoil in the back of the cupboard and she was fishing everything out so) I opened the tinfoil and kind of lined the cookie sheet plopped the chicken breasts on a sheet and through them into the is at 450°. Now the trick for me in cooking these days in my oven which is kind of low down is that whenever I make anything I've got wait for that out to cool down before it that I can actually reach in and pull the item out safely. Also, I try to let the oven cool down to the point that when I do open up the oven door I do not set off my pesky fire alarm.

I finally opened the door and pulled up the baking sheet and skewered the chicken breasts with a nice two-pronged poker. I took one breast to the side cut off the end and sliced it into a few bite-size bits and did taste test. The product was okay, not stellar but usable. It did not taste as good I was will liked that I could use the sliced chicken sandwich or even salad stuff if I want or even “beef-up” the chicken noodle soup if I really want. I was able to keep the chicken fat on most of the aluminium foil. So, I have a little cleanup but not nearly as much as I usually do as well as using up stuff out of the freezer.

The high point of my day was having breakfast at Dees with DD Sundays don't get much better than that…

Saturday, January 25, 2020

Big Balls

You know how things to tend to surface when you begin a major cleaning project? Hopefully, some things that I've been searching for ever surface, and they usually don't, but things tend to and add my feelings about these items often surprised. The image I have posted is one such item. The sculpture I don't know what else to call it. Obviously, somebody probably a cowboy with way too much time on his hands I imagine something he did over the winter season while the little doggies stayed on the end's warm in the barns. This was an item which I first noted in my mother's collection stuff and she had quite a collection stuff. By the time that I became aware of its existence by mother had gotten a hold of the sculpture, which I'm sure was rusted with age, washed it and either sends it it down or had my father do the job then gold spray-painted the object. When I first saw the cowboy with big balls
I thought the whole thing was a bit gauche. Aside from the fact somebody went to great effort to balance the balls so that “Tex” would stand perfectly balanced like a high wire walker forever on whatever he was placed. That part of the sculpture fascinated me like one of those weird birds which drink forever once you tap the birds that putting the bird in motion(of course not real, a toy bird).

I don't know how I became owner of the sculpture. Mr. big balls must have migrated down from article when mom moved in with her sister. Anyway, I got the sculpture played with of course for a few days trying it here on the edge of the table or one on a book case but soon became passé in part of the general entropy of my apartment. In I begin to suspect sculpture was toying with me, going out of its way to get into my way and just vex me just just for its pleasure. Eventually Mr. B B ended up on the rack. In the toolbox on the bottom rung this was either outer darkness for things that have no longer relevance or value. Dianne and I noted its occurrence when it surfaced that I played with a little bit and verbalized a commitment to that maybe it was time to get rid Mr. balls. I didn't quite want to throw him away because he is art I couldn't stand thinking of him the bottom of the garbage bag spending eternity in the landfill. We talked about the problem and earlier in the day Dianne had me accompany her with a visit to the manager of my apartment complex, Jennifer. Jennifer had a number of Western motif illustrations and pieces of art scattered around her office. I had noticed this in the past but never paid much attention. In an instant we would realized this was the place for Mr. big balls in Jennifer's competent hands. A placement in Jennifer's office would just be perfect but now that I've made a decision to rid myself of the sculpture I begin looking at the piece with new eyes. I don't know, but may have realized before as I looked closer I realized this cowboy is made out of old time square cut nails.
I don't know how many nails forged together to produce this bizarre piece of art, even the head impact is the end of a square cut or wrought iron nails. This little guy must have quite a history. I gently sat on on my little workbench with new respect. Writing this document today I started building a relationship again with Mr. balls but as I finish I think I realize I've done with Freudian juggernaut…

Friday, January 24, 2020

Nice Rack

Slowly I'm gaining ground on my regular routine. Still have to get back to my arm bike but by and large feeling much better getting close to getting back in the saddle. I even went to the market today to get trash bags. We've been going through a lot of them see yesterday's image. Annette, home care person,actually loaded the bags for deseret industries drop off. So far, this apartment straightening out is taken out the whole of my trash bag supply.

The plan was to meet up around 3 o'clock here at the apartment when Annette comes back to do the two hour cleaning block. However I was fortunate that Dianne was able to break free of her dating early in the afternoon came over and we began to go to town on the rack. I love my rack. I've had to move them. One I kept in my den when I lived with Dianne. I kept all of my of clothes on that rack which kind of worked. Sometimes the rack got pretty messy but overall the rack got me by. I brought the rack with me when I came to the apartment . I had a decent closet with the lowered Rod so I didn't need the rack for my wardrobe and I really wanted to use the rack is a room divider and a make-believe chef center. I really do fancy myself a cook was exotic as I would like but I'm trying to get their.

Soon I had all matters of equipment stowed on my right. Of course got a hold of some S – hooks which allowed me to my pots and pans and some utensils from the rails. I thought this was cool of this for the first year. Interesting thing about the rack it seems to have a magnetic quality about it pulling out of kinds of things to rest. Everything from books to air compressors ended up on the rack. Things got stuffed beneath the rack. Boxes full of paper goods, photographs reside beneath the rack until the ends split in the contents begin to spew out over the floor. I just kept stopping the contents back into the box.

By 5 o'clock have a big split box on my lap as I shuffled through decades of letters, bills, commercial mailers that have been the contents. That pretty much through everything away but pretty much everything had to be looked at first. Ended up keeping a good file size collection for grandkids letters. Really and that was all the items of value in this big old box keeping for decades. And even those excellent question hanging on to these that someone is going to have to deal with at my demise. We were making definite progress.

By 6:30 PM we had pretty much got the rack in order it was actually beautiful. We decided to celebrate by ordering pizza. I've never ordered pizza really myself somewhat intimidated by having someone bring something to my door. Of course there was great confusion during ordering process and of course the order took longer to produce because it was right during the pizza rush. We finally made the order and I am offered finally to pick up the pizza then we could not find the keys to the vehicle. That took another 20 minutes and finally we got the order, found the Domino's pizza on this side of town and got our. The pizza was hot and enjoyable. We crashed from the days work but my place was a little bit more livable and lovable for the old guy in the wheelchair…

Thursday, January 23, 2020

Closet Cleaning

For the first time this week I'm feeling significantly better. I feel like no longer at risk of passing this disease process on. I still felt a little bit drug out . I did not go to coffee group event called and canceled my participation in this week's book club. Even the weather outside was cast in gray dark ominous clouds the temperature was actually warm and the one time I did venture out to throw some garbage away it felt pretty good and I knew that I wanted to I could have gone over to the market.some juice. So hopefully I'm not talking to soon but I've beaten death again. I know everyone loses again but it won't be this.

I spent the better part of the day working with Dianne who came over to deliver some clothes she had ordered for me on Amazon or something. However, Dianne start working on a project she had been threatening to do at least help me do for some time. I embarrassingly report that I really did not do a lot of my personal shopping until this last divorce. I really can't figure out how gotten by in my adult life not purchasing my own clothing. Like to blame the wheelchair, that is so easy to do, like how you go out and purchase pieces of clothing without trying them on.?. Even if I felt I have the physical skill sets necessary to take off and put on clothes i.e. trying on clothes I don't know if I have the patience or even the ability to ascertain that looked okay. I say this just to let the reader understand you had a bunch of stuff that I had to get rid because I've purchased clothes over the years many times the garments just staying in my closet or are stowed somewhere in boxes. But today Dianne helped me go through clothes. I don't know how big a job this is going to be, and I know I don't know I would've burst with the wholeheartednes I did. I knew I had wanted to bags (that's right garbage bags). There were a number of shirts I had come to the conclusion it was time for them to go.

Closet cleaning can be very infectious. Once a person commits to the program it seems the cleaning fever takes hold. We started with the oldest clothes without many of those I feel were dear friends I just remembered how they made me feel but out in public and my underbelly began to appear are having to pull down the bottom of my shirt all day long suffering until I got through the day promising myself I would get rid of the offending garment will throw back into the closet. To nearly new pairs of pants that I just love one of set of black 501 Levi's in the pair of corduroy Levi's that literally shredded my skin when I tried to wear them but I've kept them in my closet for nearly 15 years because they were nearly new and I couldn't part with them. There were similar bags, literally garbage bags of T-shirts especially brand-new ones that I should have tried on but for obvious reasons could not. Only to be heartbroken when I got home and try them on because the clothes did not do their job of hiding my obesity. They've just hung in my closet all this time mocking me.I found three pair of shoes I didn't know I still own and I think I may have freed up at least 30 hangers. I wear socks but I have a box of socks after all my socks away except for five pair. I swear I have 10 garbage bags full and ready to go Dianne did not have the room in her little car, or the strength carry them all to the car. My cleaning person will be here tomorrow and I think I can get her to bring the truck to dump is often to DI or wherever. Today was certainly longer than I thought it would be. However the day was very productive and I think it enjoyable to both of us…

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Slow Sick Afternoon

“All the leaves are Brown and the skies are gray”. So goes the refrain one of my favorite songs, California Dreaming by the Mama's and the Papas one of the iconic bands of the 60s. That reference's exactly how I feel today looking out my window at the great dark skies over the park when trying to coax the the heat out the heater I purchased a few weeks ago. There are two things I'm planning to do today finish the wash i.e. folding clothes and putting them away and blogging. I'm not going to do my arm bike just cannot get. Up the energy. Not knowing for sure where Iraq's with this illness I am just taking everything slow. Ingesting fluids in short everything is listed to do to get well. Discussing the working it does not seem to be working.

Last night about 10:30 PM I was getting in bed, readers will remember I have an all electric bed it's just perfect for me and lastly live independently except… When there's a power failure one sort or another. Last night's power failure was somehow the extension cord which case the power strip that operates the bed lost its convention. Luckily, I had just lower the bed to its lowest setting and tumbled into bed only to realize what digital clock next to the bed was not functioning. I quickly pushed the buttons on the hand control: none of them functioned. I thought I had prepared for this event the last time this happened to me. It was only a few minutes after 10 and people in my network will likely would still be up but they live a bit of away away. Then I remembered Billie who is my new neighbor across the hall. Billie is older and since she does not sleep very well and that she is up a good part of the night. could just go to sleep to give me up in the morning and talk her through the fix. I reallyneed to be in control so I could speed dial and woke Billie. Billie was nice a bit befuddled but certainly stepped up to the challenge. We got the problem solved. I tried to go back to sleep which only partially happened.

This morning I slept until about an hour passed the time are usually rise. I was moving in slow Mo. I shaved, wandered into the kitchen. It will be back to the bedroom. I could tell just by the feel the skies were overcast and the leaves are brown. I should be in bed resting trying to get the butt of this sickness but I have clothes to fold and the supers written by the contractor supposed to hold my carpet put a hard floor down. Going to crank up the way got my chair and dial in to Amazon music, mamas of the Papas greatest hits lean back and transport myself to San Francisco 1965…

Tuesday, January 21, 2020


If so please that there was no meetings today for me. I doubt that I doubt that I would have gone anyway. The disease process has gotten so bad that can barely sit up in my chair. I have been up in my chair all dayI do not know how wise this decision but it's done. My talk to text software is also reacting more funky unusual so if we get 500 words out of this posting I will be a superstar at least in my own vision.I am going to try lasting through NCI S which is for some reason was my favorite television shows. I am a little miffed they are canceling the show this season. Really like the idea of working for no-nonsense boss like the guy on the show..

I spent the day or at least part of it searching for my electronic thermometer that I purchased earlier this year. I was so proud of myself that I would have temperature indicator right here at my apartment. Well sadly I cannot put my hands on the thermometer. Earlier I didn't think I had temperature I just want to use the thermometer but as of this afternoon things are getting worse for me and now I really want to find my thermometer just see if in fact a running temperature. I don't know what that would do but would certainly give me something to do. Yesterday, I actually did some of my quote crypta quotes.
Today however I have a headache and I doubt that I could spend energy I would need to focus on the quotes. The Dragon software seems to be messing up and I don't know I don't notice the messy software. Actually I've had the software/over 20 years. We could do with the new Dragon program's.

Dianne, bless her heart, has been out and about today checking on pieces of art. I'm so excited she found a couple of prints that I think would look good on my walls are less than 20 bucks. How cool is that one is a Picasso and I don't know what the other pieces are but I'm kind of gettingt excited to fill the walls on my living space..

I'm getting a little bit nervous about tomorrow's shower. I have not heard anything from Annette. She was feeling pretty miserable on Monday and canceled all over appointments except for me. I'd really appreciate but only recently as I continue to spiral down I'm worried that she may not feel up to coming cancel thatblame her falter she feels to green to make the scene. The way I am feelings now I don't think I don't think we do anything for the rest of the week. I would even miss book club. I think it's going to takes some time to recap from this illness. That's okay I'm so excited my new book came in today. I haven't even unwrapped it from its shipping container yet but it's a good-sized volume and I think will be fun to get through. In the meantime I'm going to order the last book in the series I've been reading regarding the second world war. I thought I was all done with the volumes but there remains one which I will after I finish this book about Boston.okay

Monday, January 20, 2020

A Perfect Day For Soup

The day looks cold, gray and depressing quite a bit way that I feel. The call I picked up from my home health person, last Friday, is now blossomed into afull blown health tragedy and I am the tragedy I'm coughing, my nose was running so fast no hopes of catching in my eyes are watery hundred times more than usual. Luckily I'm not having anything like headaches, fever, heart seizures or spontaneous combustion. So I guess I have something to be thankful for. I didn't sleep well during the night because the coughing and wheezing. Aside from the coughing I feel pretty good which is kind of surprising.

The writers Guild is meeting today which of course I was supposed be there I was confused however not knowing for sure what date the event was to be (this was before I got the Gambu). I miss everyone took my friends. Maybe I can make the next. We're supposed to memorize a poem. I had a poem memorized sort of but I did not get a chance to flub it and I know that I will. There's a line in the poem that refuses the stick in my memory. It's like that everything I get 95% of the last 5% eludes me. Well not to worry today because I am coughing and at home at home protecting the world from the spread of this germ.

This afternoon, a little later I plan to put together a kick ass killer chicken noodles soup.I just hope I have all the ingredients specially the noodles. I've got a couple of chicken breasts thawing in the fridge. A can of chicken broth, vegetables if you put potatoes in your chicken soup does the soup become a stew I suppose it does not make that much difference cooking minds want to know. Before that happens however I need to pull myself together get some energy and washing dishes and cutlery to get ready for the event.

Sadly I've heard from Dianne and she is suffering the same illness that I am. I apologize and wish it were not so. This morning my home health person, one gave me this stuff, was suffering too in fact she was counseling all over other appointments today except for me is that nice of what? She even went to the market to get more cough medicine and BBQ chips which I totally believe it. I kind of would just like to get back and watch Netflix or Amazon series the rest of the day but I've got a be responsible to care myself, chop up a chicken breast or two . Maybe once I get the soup on I'll stop and watch a couple of Jack Ryan's disorder got sucked into this series over the weekend. Just what I need to slow, disheveled Monday afternoon…

Sunday, January 19, 2020

Chicken Soup Anyone?

Don't you just hate it when you start getting those little twinges in your upper chest and throat producing little bouts of unproductive coughing. At first you think it's just something in the air where you're working – – for example this morning I was making breakfast, find Sunday breakfast: fried potatoes, processed green peppers onions garlic's and of course lots pepper. I of course thought the pepper was what I was coughing about. Nothing significant just little tickles in my upper chest that moves up to my throat and causes some coughing. Now I'm not going to cast any blame. After all, I've been pretty lucky over the past couple years and not really anything significant. I must admit however, I become a little bit more concerned these days as I age the amount of concern over significant illnesses that are impacting seniors particularly strains of flu seem to be quite effective at eluding various vaccinations and other prophylactic weapons.

All morning this cough seems to have progressed. I don't necessarily feel bad for tired aren't anything but when I inhale ratio tickle my chest which results in a little bit of coughing as well as working at clearing my throat. As I was saying to me previous paragraph I don't want cast any way but the person on Friday verbalized something about having a cough begin. I didn't actually see her coughing will maybe once or twice but now I'm wondering if I was exposed and here I go. Luckily this morning is used a great deal garlic in my breakfast. I'm a great believer home remedies particularly noxious vegetables,fruits and tubers and any other naturally occurring item which might battle influenza, colds or fevers. And of course all of this is probably just placebo but again if I believe hard enough so shall it be. Fortunately, before the weekend I did stock up on oranges one grapefruit and licorice tea all items I believe could be effective tools comes down to a medical battle.

I know y'all think I'm being hypochondriacal but it really feels like substance going on back there throughout. Hopefully whatever I have well come and go quickly(like many of our storms this year). Hopefully, I will not spend days in bed possible benefits of the medical center for doctoral care. Got a book coming in the mail and Netflix is those Amazon prime video some pretty covered by just want to hang out bed and focus on healing. I've got a good friend that just found out as some form of cancer, is one of the few people actually read this blog. Is older than me by about five or six years is there has been coming out in handfuls and is made a decision to cut short what is left. I plotted decision will make things much easier in this process. Compared to his challenges by potential respiratory challenge is a walk in the park and I wish him Godspeed and the use of all protocols medical and spiritual give him by next couple of months. I wish him the best but always in my prayers, as in affecting as my prayers might be also them in the mix and let's hope one or two might take. As for me, I'm going to make sure why oranges are within easy reach, I have other over-the-counter medications just in case and that my subscriptions to media channels are up and paid the start boiling water for lots of tea and chicken soup. As I can feel something coming(

Saturday, January 18, 2020

Worst Version Of Myself! :-(

I am such a mean individual and I just hate that. Most people do not see this unless you're married to me or very close to me. It is taken me three marriages I think to come to the realization how big a creep I can be. This is one of the biggest character flaws I have that I need to work on to be a better person are the best version of myself. I'm sure this a lot other items which could be worked on but this one for sure must be prime.

Thursday morning was the usual coffee social which is held every Thursday morning at the complex. Anne is the social worker, the organization does not call her that but she has for all intents and purposes. She's a really nice person and remained occupational focus is to assist folks with issues they are having particularly with government and other bureaucratic agencies. She also hosts the Thursday morning coffee club. I of course recognize this just because I am me the cynic. Of course did not see this when I first started the coffee group but then realized that people are recorded maybe not specifically but the number would attend and the strength of the group seems to be an issue. Like most groups there is a core group, those folks that show up every single meeting week in and week out. Over the past couple of months the group's got a bit smaller. Some weeks the number inflates but usually the core group is the same or little less. We have had a number of new residents will give the apartment complex and many “tried” the coffee group on for size coming once or twice but as a rule the club is pretty much stayed the same. I was intrigued to see if posting earlier this week indicating that one of the own health providers would be attending the groups meeting Thursday. This group of care provision usually comes later in the month in the late afternoons to provide awareness of its services by providing blood pressure and wheelchair maintenance – – which I am rather impressed with be honest – – but I was a little irritated of them enter loping into our coffee time just another cheap capitalist trick.

I had kept myself busy in the apartment up to the time of the coffee group. But is able to make the group on time. Of course the jackals of the blood pressure cuff were already there and listen to be available free for all going. A lot of moving around a lot of raised voices talking to each other about the din. Did not think much about what was going on except for it seemed a bit chaotic. It was when Anne commented on how great it was to see such a motion in people communicating and perhaps we should have other vendors visit,for some reason this was the red flag and I responded. I told her I thought it was a bad idea didn't like the chaos. Instantly, I saw a flood of pain flash across Anne's face. Most people would never noticed but I did, mean old Mark (MOM) why do I do this? Anne was absolutely right. People were enjoying themselves, people were moving around talking, laughing, engaging drinking coffee and having a good time. For some damn reason I could not accept that I had wrecked it after all I am Mark, the great destroyer. I did not recognize this at first but as I have thought about this event all day Thursday morning after coffee and I have become chagrined and repetitive. So much so that I even trekked up to Ann's office but she had already left for the weekend (she leaves early on Thursday afternoons which I still can't remember her new schedule). I felt doubly vulnerable. Now I have to wait until Tuesday or whenever Anne is back in her office to apologize.

I have to watch myself, I'm really trying to be a better person you know the best version of myself that I can be seems to be the hardest task of my current life…

Friday, January 17, 2020

Friday Night, Hamburger Night

 I love Friday nights, the official end of the education/work week. At any stage during the education process Friday night was a release from the academic pressure of grade school junior, high, high school and of course college. Of course once you enter the work world Friday I've just time to even deep sigh of release knowing you don't have to face anything about work until the coming Monday unless it was holiday weekend and this is a holiday weekend now that I think about it. Even in retirement, I just love Friday nights. The sure is not the television entertainment venues to cover the Friday night. My favorite. As well Star Trek first broadcast on Fridays and I think also F Troop and Get Startthere were other offerings over the years including The Twilight And Outer Limits. But what I remember most was Friday was also designated hamburger night. I know in other posts I've indicated that our family often enjoyed square pizza night as well on Fridays but I remember a great many nights with homemade hamburgers.

A bit of a Segway but it's kind of important at night was that Friday was usually asleep overnight as well. My best friend John and his brother Tom spend the night at our house one week and the next weekend we would spend the night at their house. This was perfect for us because John and Tom were Catholic and forbidden to eat meat on Friday. They did then on Saturdays when we spent the night at their house John and Tom's mom made the best bacon and our sausage breakfasts which we are forbidden to eat (we followed a lot of the Jewish traditions in my home for some reason I've never really figured out). We had the best of both worlds.

Since we lived on farm and we raised our own beef we pretty much had endless supply of hamburger. I love my mom's hamburgers. She of course fashioned the patties by hand. Mom stretched the hamburger by adding bread and onions. The burger rendered a taste like small meat loaves. She also canned this great relish which was red. I did not really appreciate the relish in my younger days but not love to have a small bottle of her relish. Mom's hamburgers were moms hamburgers. I never appreciated the little burgers my mom made. I love the superflat patties which characterized burgers from the fast food joints. That's what I want but I was more than content to have mom's burgers on a Friday night sitting in front of a black-and-white television waiting for Star Trek…

Thursday, January 16, 2020

A Little Green

Robert Plant

It's really quite nice to have Dianne back in my life more so that she's been for the last three years. It's not a problem but Dianne's generosity knows no bounds. Dianne loves research especially when it comes to finding great deals and clothes that fit me. Anyway, Dianne is over the other afternoon to share with me so her favorite standup comics. The other makeshift meal and watched the comics. But when she came over she brought over a living thing. A plan! I wish I could tell you accomplish that it was/is the important thing was that she got the plant on sale and dancing color to my room and the thing is alive at least right now. The plant sits in the windowsill or on the windowsill when my bedroom right in front of my arm bike. We have to raise the blinds up for 6 inches to get the plant in its place. Before I have about 4 inches expose way below the line of vision of anybody driving the walking past the window on the outside. Now with the added six or so inches, is much more viewing available. Now as many of you know, I have no problem with that in fact I would welcome the chance to be more exhibitionistic than I currently am. However, I must realize that I live in a community and the community that probably does not enjoy public nudity as much as I. So, I've been somewhat concerned but I got the idea yesterday that long to plant would if I had two plants or even three plants or more! I could have a family of plants sitting on the so give it a fresh oxygen and the illusion of privacy. I have gone from welcoming the new plant with mixed emotions to totally welcoming the growth and giving it a name “Robert” actually the whole name would be “Robert Plant”. I thought that was pretty cute. So now I'm searching for a ficus. I would check remember the name of the show television show about 20 years ago I think it was a satire on science fiction. But one of the crew members of the ship was named ficus. That's always stuck with me. So pack your ficus outright its name as “Bob Ficus”. Then I'm going to look for another plant which I intend to name “Roberta”.

I think three plants quality but I don't necessarily need to stop there. I cannot believe I have not invested in any living things to be with me in my apartment in the three or four years I've been here. I don't know who did the bother to try to keep something alive or maybe the responsibility. But I think that's exactly what I need right now plus benefits of even more color in my life. Maybe it's the artwork on the walls that's calling me to look at other things colorful to be in my life. Nothing trumps the beautiful green or something alive breathing, growing and even acting out in my own living space. Ficus from what looks like is actually a tree. One of the things which could be coaxed into many different things. There's the possibility of spider plant spider kind of interesting but maybe if I is some sort or even one of those plants that sends out runners all over the place. I have one in my office once which I had for years and it snaked its way all around the place. So, I'm opening up a new page in life. Living things. I will not go so far are gross to get a mammal or some other vertebrate. It cannot deal with the dog smaller whatever and cats are totally out of the question. No snakes, turtles or parrot or birds of any kind. The challenge of a immobile, potted living thing is about all I can deal right now…

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Sunshine Superman

I'm so relieved. I really thought the new hard drive which is installed in my desktop week or so ago was begin the malfunction when I try to watch some of the DVDs my home health person brought over the other day. (See posting three or four days ago). I did contact my son about the issue and he indicated that perhaps I should try using the system with one of my own DVDs which has worked. This was late Sunday night but he volunteered to swing by the apartment early in the morning to drop the computer off at PC laptops. The old computer switcheroo is the last thing that I really want to do. Mark was also getting ready to leave the area for a number of days towards the end of the week which means getting of putting up the computer would be a real drag. So I tried the option Mark suggested and dug up a copy of Dead Pool I have recently viewed. I popped the DVD into the tray pushed at home and sure enough the movie came up. I didn't necessarily like the interface system used to play the DVD but it worked just fine. As I said this is a great relief. Armed with this knowledge that I had a working DVD player have begun to profile the rest of the stack of DVDs that person brought over. Significant amount are operational best kind of nice. I'm thinking the ones are not our hybrids or DVD/Blu-ray. That's okay the DVDs are ones I'm most interested in any way.

The only problem about starting a project like this is the the high probability of getting sucked into the movie on the DVD you are proofing. A few minutes ago I stuck the Green Lantern tray and soon I was getting sucked into the movie. As we all know Green Lantern is from the DC universe. It's not that I'm not DC hater I'm not. I mean when I was growing up DC comics were about the only things out there so I totally was into Superman, Batman and kind of Wonder Woman. However, when I hit adolescence I soon got into Spiderman and the rest of the Marvel universe and then that's all she wrote. So I really didn't know much about the Green Lantern except for Donovan's short reference in his song Sunshine Superman I figured the Green Lantern had to be cool if Donovan referenced them. I thought Donovan was a trip. I liked a few pieces of music that made it to the radio, that he did especially Mellow Yellow I sacrificed more than one summer afternoon stripping inside the bananas trying to make the mythical drug. Didn't do anything for me but gave me something to talk about. I've got the DVD in the tray right now and I'm going to finish watching the movie as soon as I finish this posting. In fact I'm so excited about even to this posting short of the 500 words but I usually push myself to write or maybe not…

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Cover Up

We finally had a citizens advisory board meeting for the private nonprofit I work with. First meeting since the beginning of the year the first meeting since Christmas actually. Even though the day was cold and snow was forecast for the day I was glad to get back iin the saddle. I dressed in layers, super lightweight fabric which holds the weekend on top of my shorts. One T-shirt covered by a long sleeve every shirt on top of all that I pulled the red and black reversible jacket and headed for the bus.

I think I said before about how impressed I am with the local transit authority. For me anyway the buses always seemed beyond time are very close. I had checked and I would only have to wait three minutes when I headed out from the apartments and just like clockwork 47 pulled up three minutes after I got the bus stop. It's not like I was cold but pretty much circumvented that issue. Everybody was decked out in their winter gear, whatever that might be. I have given up trying to look cool on these cold days. I'm totally dressy for comfort and asked layers. People on the bus and getting on the bus were wearing everything from parkas, just regular heavy coats, hobo gloves and more often than not particulate masks. Living at the street levelis more and more dangerous. Dangerous, not only from idiots making right-hand turns not watching pedestrians coming off the sidewalk because they're looking the other direction of oncoming traffic, to people giving dirty looks for just being out in the cold in public I guess.

The next TRAXX vehicle was the Blueline which is not the vehicle that I needed I would have to exit the vehicle a number of blocks up and still have to wait for the Redline but, I would be out of the cold until then. It's funny how some cars, light rail cars, one enters is like entering an alternate universe. The people in the vehicle they look like a cross between a bunch at Cheers (the late great TV comedy) and the weird bar scene on Tatooine. A weird bag lady, a skinny Santa clone who smelled like it given up using bathrooms and a humanoid form with a blanket over his head who didn't move for three stops and finally got up and wandered off the same stop is very at the Courthouse stop. I was pleased to give out the train because it was snowing pretty bad at that point in the cold air seemed to purge the uric smell for my nostrils. As I rolled off the train people turned and saw me. I think if I'd seen the look on my face when I entered the car is probably the same as the consumers gave me as I rolled off in my layered bazaar get up. I truly was one of the weird folks getting off the car this morning. I just put my chair and fourth gear and headed for my meeting…

Monday, January 13, 2020

In To The Light…

I really can do this. It's not that big a deal. It's just mechanics. A few months ago while lying in bed one evening I had this weird spasm , where were my body doubled up altogether and just sort of pedal position. The last time this happened I was diagnosed with emergency stenosis. This happened to me a couple times in the last couple months. It totally lasts a few seconds not nearly as bad as the one for the stenosis, which is why I have not been that concerned. Now, and this might all be just imagination on my part, I'm beginning to experience a weakness on my left side primarily in my left arm. This is so minimal I can't tell if it's always been there since the operations or if it's new pathology in progress. You all know I can be a bit histrionic that really I hope I am being histrionic professionally don't want to go under the knife again if I don't have to.

The other night I was speaking with Dianne, who above anyone else, knows my symptomology regarding these issue. Of course knew how she would react but I ran the symptoms pastor anyway of course she told me to get back in contact with the surgeon and just find out what is going on with my spinal cord. I cannot believe the stenosis would grow back in just four years. I was shocked to realize it had been four years since my last stenosis operation. This was the second conversation I've had Dianne regarding these new incidents.

So this morning I started my proactive behavior in trying to head off catastrophe. As a positive sign in today's mail I received a message from my friends that have a traffic accident which may have resulted in the head injury when he was examined by the neurologists, a tumor found in the pituitary. Have a friend not how does by accident would never found this possibly delete issue. So that in mind I felt much more empowered. When I called my neurosurgeon to set up an appointment they immediately indicated that I would have to have a referral since it been four years since it heard from me. They needed referral from my current my practitioner. You'd think this would be easy and it probably is for normal people. So, first I have to find my psychiatrists contact information. I don't know why this is such a arduous task took me a couple of hours callbacks to get the correct selector. Finally this afternoon got a hold of my Doc will send information over.

Since it's been so long since my neurosurgeon has seen me going to have to basically start from scratch which means having a CAT scan, probably not a CAT scan but you know that machine that takes all the pictures that actually orbits your neck. I cannot believe I would have to have another surgery. Perhaps this Dianne said during our conversation that may be what needs to be done is so minimal that just a short or small invasion would be necessary. Perhaps even it would be a wait-and-see scenario all of which I could deal with. Most importantly I well have flushed the bugaboo out o will the closet and be able to plan accordingly…

Sunday, January 12, 2020

DVD? What DVD?

About a week ago my home health person brought over a garbage bag of DVDs that one of her clients no longer needed or wanted. She said they were “guy”videos. She thought that I might enjoy them. I told her for sure love to have the DVDs and I would go through and check out what I wanted and then what I want to get rid of. Annette told me then I could take them to a place like FY E or even the video/record shop across the street and they might be a trade or a dollar or two off the price of a DVD I wanted. I went to the booty and pull out about six DVDs I was interested and then put the other 10 in the bag and maybe I'll have about to get a another DVD of my liking . Booty like this not happen very often I'm glad that Annette thought of me when she harvested these DVDs.

The study started out cold dark and snowy. I got up kind of late almost 7 AM. Did a number of chores actually made a breakfast making fried eggs that did rupture when I cracked them into the frying pan, we toasts and tried the other sausages three (you know the little guys, serving sizes for one, I had three- I was proud of myself). I've washed dishes before I started cooking some lunch. Those chores finished by 11:30 AM and I figured I'd earned myself a movie. I thought I would try one of the new/old movies I just got from our home health person. I know I've seen Casino Royale starring David Niven in this spoof on 007, and I'm not necessarily a big David Niven buff but I thought about doing the movie just to hear Herb Alpert play Casino Royale. I pressed the DVD tray for and waited for the movie to start, and waited and waited. Every time I pushed the DVD trade in the second relapse and I would get the message “please insert disk”. I was minorly frustrated but figured that have something to do with the hard drive. I worked on this problems the next couple hours. The first hour I spent searching the hard drive for DVD softwareI knew and I still know that it's got a be there somewhere I just can't find it which I think is really odd. By the second hour I was willing to admit that for some reason this new DVD does not have said software (I always just naturally bundled with anything that went out the door”). Then I started thinking that will new hard drive maybe hard drive people just figured you could just go out and download software. That's what I did. I have to admit as kind of problem myself that did go out and find DVD software downloaded and installed into my system. Sigh, these efforts did no good. Where now I do have a nice little player that looks like it should play the DVD just fine but I cannot get the computer to recognize the DVD software or whatever. Luckily I have Netflix as well as Amazon. I can always find something just frustrating that was something new especially replacement for something I already have that work just fine but now I am going through these headaches. I thought about calling Mark Anthony but I have a suspicion software is not there and I'm going to have to make a call tomorrow when the shops open. I'm only afraid that this will necessitate another trip to PC laptops. Now I worry about what else is missing…

Saturday, January 11, 2020

Saturday Night Dreams

It's snowing outside, not a lot but enough to make me thankful that I have someplace, such a nice someplace to be in out of the elements. I made it to the market rather I sent my housekeeper to the market in my place who actually did by shopping. This is a strange step for me because basically I enjoy doing shopping I like the process, I like getting out and I like being with other people. But, I needed to have something for my housekeeper to do. I know that sounds strange but it's kind of true. This housekeeper Annette actually does a lot of housekeeping during the week while she's waiting for me to do my thing. So actually on Friday afternoon rolls around and she does her two hour block of housekeeping (which I pay her directly rather than through an agency)we end up having to find things for her to do. I gave her my credit card and off she went. I have to keep an eye on her she doesn't think like other folks and that's good. She called and couldn't find the burritos I had put on the list. She was searching on, not unlike me many times, she had called to tell me they did not have my burritos which I thought was odd. Finally, we decided to have her ask store person but she didn't of course they did have the burritos. Luckily she called me back she called me twice maybe three times on her trip to the market. Still having this option opens up the major doors for me.

I continue to struggle with this new hard drive. It's kind of a struggle I love I just don't know if I can figure things out. Windows 10 continues vex me. I deleted a video file by mistake this morning and have been trying to figure out how to do “file recovery”. I could use this software in other versions of Windows but so far, even though I've done You Tubes. The process looks simple enough but I've not been able yet to even find the deleted files hopefully it's a matter of time. I was trying to listen to music this morning on my Amazon music account while I did breakfast in the system Going to sleep. This, frustrated me. I would find a selection of music i.e. an album and I would get to working only to have my selection shut off toggle back and toggle switch will bet. I had to go in my settings and do some research and found that new drive must've been set on default. The setting was putting the machine to sleep after 10 minutes of non-use or what it saw as of nonuse. I reset that timeline to three hours. Finding this information out and then implementing was kind of entertaining maybe this afternoon and evening I will work on settings. I forgot, once again, how do a new hard drive is. It really is like a new kid in the household that you literally have to train to meet your needs. For the most part, I'm pleased to have a computer system that's strong enough to do what I needed to do. I am also amazed at the amount of software and programs that I downloaded on the other hard drive and they're all gone. I have noticed there are small artifacts that says that I actually have access to these programs and pieces of software. Often I can take that information backtrack to the company who will forward be another program. Today however I'm just looking for file recovery software.

You know what's really unsettling about dieting? Is how one waits for the next meal and how or what one would just at that. For me, it's Saturday night I had progressed pork chop the. Either way A lunch. I guess I could repeat that for dinner sounds boring. I did do a hot dog wrapped in a piece of bread which has a little bit of appeal or I can have a hot dog or two hot dogs with red beans/kidney beans. Maybe, tortillas and chili con carne. Either way it's going to be good and I can hardly wait…

Friday, January 10, 2020

Taking Care Of Business…

You know those Fridays. The kind of Fridays one feels energized like you want to get something done. The clouds cleared off early and my cleaning person had done a great job this morning not only caring for me but sprucing up the kitchen back to the apartment while she waited for me to do my business. It sounds like foul weather is coming into the area again in the form of snow this weekend. I figured if I was going get any more running around the advantage of this morning before my cleaning person this afternoon. I decided I would make one more attempt at resolving my “Demand” letter. In fact I was so beaten down I was contemplating just giving the registrar the 10 bucks to get this whole mess behind me.

To check my schedule and sure enough I have 13 minutes to make it to my bus stop. I threw on the slippery poncho I got from Dianne Christmas by floppy winter hat and took off for the communit college. The was Sun was brilliantly bright given the illusion of warmth. With my Christmas poncho tucked under my legs and my blue hobo sweater I felt great being out and about as my transit bus pulled up.It's a short, quick trip the community college for my apartment. I was still surprised at how many kids were on campus. Not sure when winter semester begins but there are a lot of folks at the union preparing to register. I took the elevator first to the basement that as for the cashier's office is that they of course redirected me immediately to the registrar's office on the second floor. It took me a minute to get my bearings once I got to the second floor. And I sit right over to the registrar's office. I defiantly trust the paperwork that I have filled out over the weekend telling the poor who happened to be on deck when I rolled up. I told the person that I'm so burnt out over this whole issue I'm ready to just pay the $10 and get on with it. Or else surprised this registrar person said, “no no no but still we can do. Sure we can figure this out.” I backed away took a deep breath and let my guard down just a little bit. She took my paperwork, as we pull out my wallet afterward she examined my identification then I imagine she pulled me up on her computer. She worked and she worked and she worked finally said I think that will do it. She also said that she would personally walk the process through herself make sure got done right. I should be okay but let her know if things didn't turn out all right. I felt a lot better now and hopefully stop the flow of these “Demand” letters and $10 requests. Now I'll just sit back and see what comes of my day at the community college.

A little after 3 o'clock in the afternoon I was kind of shocked when I clean person, and the apartments maintenance guy and Jennifer the apartment manager knocks on my door walks in while I was playing Snood on the computer. It come to assess the damages to the shower. The maintenance guy gave me a temporary. He put something in the holes and then covered up with blue masking tape. He hopes that will prevent my chair from toppling over and tell management can come up with the better solution . So a day may have got my “demand letter” issue taking care of and got the ball rolling for the bathroom/shower repair things are looking up…

Thursday, January 09, 2020


I should be next-door at the market shopping for the weekend. It's not like it is a special weekend's just a weekend however we're to be plagued by frequent storms and snow. And right now there is a window of blue sky, sunshine and deceptively nice-looking whether. I'm sure it's cold but at least not wet but I want to get my posting pretty much done for the day. my new resolution is to post early when I can. I also think the quality of my blogs are somewhat better done earlier in the day room in the evening or late at night. It's not that I lived to post I just think posting is important, to me. I'm way past the reason that I started my blog. Obviously, I can post every day if that's what I wanted to that's what I've done in the past 10 or 15 years whatever 3000+ blogs equal out to. I can do it. Now I just need to DO IT.

Now to add to my dilemma of adjusting to a new hard drive. I'm finding that trying to log on to my Facebook account from Google is all messed up. When I go to access my Facebook account, Facebook demands email and password (you know the system). And you know how it often supplies the email that you can use? Well, for some reason , and I tie it the new hard drive, it writes a password I haven't used for maybe 10 years! And so far try as I may I can't get past that login. When I supply the information for the right password or phone number I get the message that this password is not registered with the Facebook. However, I can use this information to get onto Facebook if I try to go in through Firefox. However I don't necessarily like the presentation I get on Firefox but I may just have to change. When I get more time, this afternoon or maybe tomorrow or whatever I'll have to contact Facebook and see if I can have them walk me through so I can access my Facebook through Google. And bottom-line maybe the universe is trying to tell me something about maybe it's time to hang up on social media.

We're supposed to begin the bookclub again today. We haven't done a book club now for at the end least a month, at least in some Christmas. I was kind of getting out of the mood allowing any kind of a reason to dissuade me from wanting bookclub. What the possible forecast of snow for today and the weather good or bad memories to stop me from doing what I wanted to do. So, decided to get going to get back into the flow of the year. Go to the market, bookclub and then television's evening when I get home from the bookclub. And what's best is that I will already have posted for today and not have to worry about writing something this evening just because I am supposed to write not because I want to write.

The only problem about writing early in the day is that your experiences of the day most likely will not be noted that such really fun is to write about the absurdity of the day. Sometimes that's my goal to find what's absurd in each day that I live. I cannot believe how lucky I am and I guess that's the most absurd thing all.

Wednesday, January 08, 2020

Hello Floor It's Just Me Dropping In and a Clean Slate

I'm always amazed at how quickly an accident can happen or happens. I can see how get ripped off literally in a factory or even in the garage working around machine like wood turning lath. Remember a couple years ago when I caught my arm in the grab bar in the shower and slowly slid off my chair and how my home health person valiantly balanced me on my shower chair, that I was sliding off , keeping the weight off my arm so my arm to snap until the firemen got there and save the day. Well, today I was in my shower chair which is a commode on wheels and I was rolling over the toilet to the shower to begin my shower and my front wheels caught either in a hold of file on the floor or the lip of the shower can't remember which but whatever the situation, without thinking, I leaned forward way to forward and in that instance totally dove out of my chair onto the floor partially in the shower. Fortunately, I went right into my tumbling mode and safely rolled to the floor more shocked than anything else but totally pleased that nothing seem to be broken skin horrible. Annette was in the kitchen cleaning up. I pounded on the wall and got your attention. She came in assess the situation and got right to work I was totally impressed. Dianne and I talked about being able to get me off the floor with our lift should I fall but thank goodness we never had to employ the lift retrieve me off the floor. Very quickly, Annette and myself were able to sling me up back in the chair. No foul no harm.we were both totally pleased we did not have to contact the fire department.

The clouds rolled in during the night. and foreboding the morning was luckily I had nowhere to go nothing to do but work on my computer. As I alluded to yesterday I'm glad to the original to replace my hard drive but I always forget in doing so I lose all my software on the hard drive. So either have to reenter the software or download more which I was doing. Perhaps the most challenging aspect I ended up with was reinstalling my Dragon Dictate software. The software that allows me to do speech to text on the computer. I always get nervous thinking that something is going to go wrong especially since I have to enter him relatively long sequences of letters and numbers. I just went to it though after I dug out my software but it was still there is no box in this little air bubble packing and the original sleeve with the password printed three times! It still took me two hours to install Dragon. I'm not sure exactly what I ended up doing. I entered the passwords at least three separate times in the computer and only allow me to go so far and then stopped responding. Finally, I set the project aside went down to check my mail and came back and try to process again and for some reason the system took the passwords entered and my data and loaded itself onto a hard drive. I was ecstatic! Now, I'm a little frustrated. The software I'm using is pretty good at least for me. It is learned by speech patterns and a lot of my words. It is taken a couple years for that to happen. Now however I'm working with a clean slate and the system is refusing to accept a lot of my speech patterns for now is going to be another couple years probably teaching this new “brain” me. I guess I don't have worse challenges…

Tuesday, January 07, 2020

Grand Reception

Kind of exciting, the whole concept of deception and I don't been really even know if it is deception. The session such a “bad word”. But it's such a beautiful day that I just couldn't help transit up something with Dianne, my ex, to go out and enjoy today. It's kind of fun, as we re-examine our relationship and where were going forward in our new lives a single people or at least quasi-single people. Anyway, remember yesterday when I was going on about purchasing something at Costco and these it before the new subscription. And that's fair I don't mind the abrupt reminder. I would much rather have gotten something via the mail or even email that could have warned me that a sucker punch was looming out there in the ether to come do the next time I want to do business. I had a feeling, it's not like I go to this place very often – – you have to have acting family or community group or some sort to justify that kind of involvement with a big box store—so I know that it's been about a year so I wasn't too surprised unluckily I had the ability to do this without becoming unglued and having that deer in headlights look.

I've I spent quite intrigued with the whole Costco membership program not that I understand this membership in the least bit. You have X amount of cards for members of your family are communal group. And I guess doesn't necessarily have to be immediate family either I think is pretty lax just have to be identified as a card carrier.I mean even best friend groups are permitted. I've often thought about trying to put some kind of coalition here at the complex some sort of a Costco club. A lot of people have these personal close friendship/relationship things going on where they tend to share the Costco person and have that person makes all the purchases but seriously that's kind of complicated. Still it feels like some sort of collusion is going on on some level. Actually, it's pretty funny because more people that come into the joint the more stuff they're going to sell.

Last night texting with Dianne I mentioned how I got caught in the yearly purge when I went to purchase my nuts. Dianne then informed me how she had been members with family members which has all changed and she said her out there twisting in the wind without access to such membership. The membership is kind of steep and kind of scares off the single person. Like a wolf circling a prey I held off a couple of years then took the leap. Once you're in the fold they gotcha and anytime on a purchase something on a massive scale you have to buy another membership so I said what the hell I did it. As Dianne and I shared this information I figured why not what better person to share my membership with? I love the idea. So today, on this crisp clear Tuesday morning I'm going to meet Dianne over at the Costco by the hospital and were going to do the deed will put Dianne on my membership. It's not that I'm a nice guy just feels like I'm sticking to the big guy makes you feel like I'm being a bit deceptive is always something nice about a little deception…that

Monday, January 06, 2020

Sunshine Came Softly…

Boy did I luck out. A day of sunshine nevermind the fact that the temperatures dropping again, it was nice being out in the sunshine made my day. I don't know why I felt so empowered today but is willing to take some risk that I usually don't do. It's not that I'm frustrated with my CPU that's nonfunctioning which needed to be taken in to the dealer because I have a perfectly good working computer, this laptop. It really does meet all my needs but I felt like I just want to get the big boy taking care of. Mark Anthony has promised to take the CPU in what he can get some time. I don't know when that will be and I need to be as independent as I can be and if I can figure out a way to take this box in I'm going to do it and I did..

With the help of the Home health person , Annette unplugged the computer and set the box on my lap just to see how much the box weighed and could I tolerate the weight on my lap. The weight was inconsequential the box itself is fairly awkward but I could see that I would be out of the able to hold the box as I motored in my chair. This is not ideal so I found one of my long bungee cords and with the help of Anne the social worker from upstairs, we secure the CPU to my power chair and to me and all was good. I was totally surprised how well this whole operation went. The only drawback I had was the CPU block my vision of my feet and try to negotiate this big old power chair on and off of city sidewalks as well as UTA buses was a exercise in faith and the personal conviction that I could do it. I'm waiting now to get the report of how sick my system is. They should fix it however that's one of their big sales points is that you buy one of their computers, which they build, and they supported forever we shall see.

I felt so good about how well this project went I decided I'd go to the big-box store Cosco. And so thankful that I don't have a lot of room to carry stuff on my lap. Means I can only buy so many things and they have to be small but still I never tire of looking at all the stuff that people can buy it just overwhelms me. I felt like I had to purchase something I didn't do anything on twice just because the caloric intake would be hideous. I probably shouldn't have but I did I purchased a pretty good sized jar/model of mixed nuts – – the expensive ones trying to get a wedding or something. These nuts are risky business when it comes to losing weight I shall just have to be judicious. I even got a cute little box from the box been to carry my nuts home in. The nuts cost 15 bucks. When I got the check out surrendered my card I was informed that my card had expired and they just want to add the cost of the new year onto my purchase? What could I say? The shopping trip cost about 80 bucks I'm good for year. Sunshine and American opulence what better way to start the week?