Drawing

 I love to draw, I think. I'm always trying to draw or think I'm going to try to draw. I'm doing less and less actually trying to draw the last couple of years I've noticed. I don't know why I can't draw. I even took a class at the community college a couple years ago. It was a basic drawing class and it didn't do me any good and I'm sure it wasn't the instructors fault. I will take responsibility. I did the exercises I showed up to the class and maybe I needed to persist more classes. I did a couple of drawings at the end of the class or during the class it wasn't what I thought it was going to be but I still had some feelings that maybe this was the right track. It was just difficult for me to pursue any further than the one class. I had to drag all the equipment back and forth for my apartment to the room and then back again and it was a summer class as well so I'm sure it was lightweight as far as what could have happened as a real semester type class would have been. I think I've talked about this before but I really have a feeling that I'm supposed to draw and I get a good feeling when I do draw but I rarely, as I said earlier, make time to actually draw. And I've got wonderful sketchbooks, I mean pads, tablets of paper given to me as Christmas / birthday / Father's Day gifts over the years. I need to use some of these to at least  put marks on them before I die so the kids will know at least I appreciate their gifts. That's if anyone even notices. I've noticed that a lot of families basically open the doors of the apartments when the person dies and lets anybody grab whatever they can out of the apartment and then basically either themselves or they have a professional trash company come in and take everything and take it to the dump for whatever they do with that kind of stuff and sadly I think anything I have drawn may end up at the dump and really that's okay by me too I'm not that infatuated with making a mark on this world that I'm going to worry about what happens to the things I've created. Again the most important things that I've created- the children will continue and that's good that's the way things should go. However material things those for sure can go to the Wayside.

The image I'm using for tonight's posting is a a pillow, actually one of my favorite pillows that I sleep with. It's basically a cuddle pillow or a hugger. I like the beasts on this pillow and I'm intrigued to the point that I want to figure out if I can draw them or not. I've been meaning to do this for over a year now and I can't bring myself to do it. I'm not sure exactly why, probably fear of failure more than anything else. That is so silly and if I heard somebody else using this as an excuse I would not cut them any slack, tell them to get on the stick and do it or stop yacking about it. These seem like silly little images but they've taken my heart for some reason and I just want to know if I can not only draw them IE copy them onto paper or maybe even develop my own little beasts.