When everything changes

 I'm exhausted I'm sitting here blogging and waiting for a second wind hopefully to finish the blog and my journal afterwards. It's not like I did anything today to speak of just coffee social and that was it spent the rest of the day watching or blinging- that's not the right word- Netflix working through a couple seasons of Travelers which I'm fine now is a pretty decent series. I don't like series for the very reason it keeps me trapped watching them until it's conclusion. I've just started the third season and still holding my interest really well amazing. I stayed up till about 12:12 a.m. last night reading or trying to read. And I pretty much slept through the night waking up about 5:30 and then just hanging around the bed till 6:00 a.m.. and as I indicated I spent the whole day watching the screen.

I cannot believe I did not work out today. No excuse and I rarely pass up the chance to work on my arm bike. Today would have been just a half day since I'm standing at 180 minutes for this week. I should have dropped everything and just done my workout during the radio show Marketplace which I try to listen to weekdays. It's a half an hour show just enough for me to get through the last 30 minutes of my 200 minute schedule. Luckily I still have Friday and Saturday to make up the 30 minutes. I know I'm becoming some but neurotic about this arm bike thing but I really feel it saved my life in a lot of ways and maybe extended it to some degree. I don't want to be the next one to go. I think I wrote last night about Eric Wadsworth my buddy from Moore High School who passed away over the weekend. Call gangly Eric a minor track star for the school and just a good guy. He was a Letterman you know one of those guys with the jacket who are on the In Crowd who sit around or stand around the trophy cabinet in the hallway in the mornings and in the afternoon at lunch talking jock stuff. It's beginning to feel like we're losing people almost weekly from the schools I went to. I shouldn't be so disturbed about the whole thing because it is that time of life. If this is with my buddy DD yesterday- - no not Donald Duck- who agreed with me regarding the mortality status of many folks that we know and grew up with. I know I somewhat macarba but everyday I wonder when I'm coughing or get a particularly persistent spasm that is this how it's going to go? Is this how I'm going to check out? I have to think how weird it is when you read about an obituary or somebody who just drops dead in the middle of the day and it's the last thing they thought they would be doing when they left the bedroom that morning when they went to work or whatever they were going to do that day and suddenly Everything Changes.

Cookie monster!

 I slept poorly last night. I had weird ass dreams that seemed to go on forever. I had to go to the at some point in time around 3:00 in the morning and it didn't really get much back sleep after that. The dream wasn't necessarily a nightmare but it's a strange dream just the same and of course now that I'm writing about this dream I cannot remember really what the dream was about except for that it was really weird and it was one of those dreams that you know you're dreaming but you question yourself during the dream process like what you're going to do when you wake up and what I'm going to do so I never have to deal with this dream again. Of course there's no way you can wish a dream away- the dreams are going to come whether you want them to or not just like the voices. I really do not have voices for say just one voice that usually comes out of my subconscious just as I'm preparing to sleep and just says”No! But it allowed in commanded voice which always startles me and quite frankly scares me. You have to play all these weird games and think these weird thoughts before I'm able to get back to sleep. It took me a long time to even acknowledge, even to myself that these voices or voice was inside my head. Then I got to thinking about neurosis and I got to thinking about multiple personalities and that really scared me. Or just psychotic folks in general, for the first time I really think I was able to consider how they might live if just for a little while. If I have just one voice and it's very intermittent how bizarre is it to have many voices rattling on inside your head at all times day and night? I would hope I would be able to cope with such a thing but I could tell now that I would be too spaced out to cope with anything outside the voices. Right now however there acting pretty good they haven't been out for a couple months. They never come when you think you could deal with them it just come when they want to. I pray and hope that what I'm experiencing is not psychotic issues or just psychotic episodes. Maybe at this point in life I won't be characterized as crazy as much as eccentric.

It's Wednesday night tomorrow is coffee social. I raised such a stink last week about them not having any cookies or really good treats that I would do some shopping for cookies for this week's meeting. I contacted the resident social worker are they contacted me I'm told that I'd be happy to do this but they weren't too excited about it so I didn't. So tonight is the night before and I hate going to this function when there's no goodies to eat. Sometimes some of the women like to bake something for the event mostly cakes which I'm okay with cakes I like cake. They're a bit messy for a function like this but they would still be I think basically appreciated. I wouldn't mind going somewhere in the morning as soon as I got up but that would be very cold and it would be quite a trick to go that early to the market and back in time for coffee. I should have done it today but I just listened to intimidated by the cold weather in the bleak reports from the weather people. It's easy just to stay in especially with all the streaming content that's available especially what's on Netflix. I would feel better have I had a package of cookies that I could just take down and spread out if nobody else shows up without treats. Life Will Go On regardless it's just nice to have a little bit of socialization even though it's contrived..

Old Men

 One of the most interesting things I've experienced the last couple of years has been linking up with old acquaintances, friends and getting there perspectives on things that have happened in the past. I am always amazed at how different my memory of how things seem to me were different to how other people's perceive the same event. The constant reader will remember about the event about me getting beaten up in the sixth grade by my music teacher while I was sitting behind the piano in music class. The individual sitting right next to me doesn't remember that event at all all other folks I've talked to clearly remember the incident and have indicated they would never ever forget it because the event seem to be so violent at the time. Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised when my tablet rattled this afternoon or more accurately my cell phone also begin reading at the same time it was an old friend of mine I mean a really old friend of mine maybe 60 years a friend. Gregory or better known as grog.

I've been trying to call Grog ever since I got a message from his little brother giving me the information that Greg was fine and doing well in Southern California in the Los Angeles area. I was concerned because it's also in the same area as the conflagration of the wildfires. The brother gave me grog's address that he would be excited to hear from me. I didn't necessarily believe that but now I was in the position where I had to call and I was going to but Grog fixed that problem by calling himself, first. First and foremost Grog is fine the fire has missed him and his family but not by much. He does not sound the way that I thought he would sound but it definitely is grog. We had a good conversation. I think I hesitated in calling him because he has done so much better in life than I have at least from a success orientation. He is actually the president of a major check company, I'm not sure what that is except for they do a lot of Financial Security type work and it's been very successful. Of course he's my age so he's kind of retired but he's got everything set up so he continues to work but not very much and has income flows from four or five different areas from the way the corporation was set up and how it's ending up. He's no longer the main controller the operation, although he is actually, but on paper he is not and he's able to do things he wants to with his life which I think is totally cool. We talked about things that old men talk about mainly things we did together growing up and we did a lot of things together I'm Amazed. But there is three of us that sort of hung together from about first grade on up actually. We went to the same church and we hung out together. A large part of the call was us validating each other that the stupid things that we did together we're actually done and that we can substantiate all of the events we've talked about to our family and friends. It was a grand time to be alive a great part of this time is even before adolescence in the great accident after 45 minutes we ended the call. Grog is very conservative quite a bit different than me in a lot of ways but quite similar at the same time. We committed to miet up with each other this coming summer. He has family in this area and we decided that we will meet sometime during the warm season at the park across the way from where I live. It should be a grand time of old men reliving their past….

Forward looking

 I just suffered through another Jazz ball game and to their credit they actually won! I'm so pleased to see this because they've had so few wins this season. I can't believe I even care whether or not they win or not and this game actually went into overtime and I really thought about just turning the TV off at that point in time and letting it ride. I'm surprised they pulled it off I thought for sure they were going to choke- - the game was in overtime and it was just too anxiety provoking. Perhaps that's why I would just assume not even observe sporting activities and why I've never really liked them it's because someone always has to win which means that someone always has to feel bad maybe I just take the game too seriously and that's the lesson I've got to learn just to let everything go in its own way because it's going to anyway and all you can do really in the long run and sit back and watch. I heard one of the announcers talking during the game that we're just about halfway through the season. As I've watched these guys play ball I've seen how much they sweat and how much they actually do work out play in the game. I never really thought about how hard it is on the players especially like tonight's game is like the third game in about four or five days plus they had to do traveling in between venues. That's all got to have a real physical toll if not a mental toll as well. I guess I should be less critical of these lads playing these games for the obvious pleasure of the supporters and not necessarily themselves but I sort of suspect they like playing this game the game of their lives as well. I'm kind of astonished at how many these folks actually have played with their opponents since they are always being traded one season to the next. It would be a hard life to live even though you're making big bucks in some cases. These guys need a breather now and will be off for the next 4 or 5 days to do to play again Wednesday night and hopefully I'll be able to get a break hit a bit of a rest as well but it's always nice to have something to look forward to.

Senior intervention!

 I am so blessed to have as much functionality and ability to live is independently as I'm able to do. I am keenly aware that as I age I'm going to lose more and more functionality and I suppose along with that my Independence. Still however I continue to be fairly independent with just a little systems for my caregivers and my kids off and on. I'm so lucky to have support the way that I do. With that in mind I must admit I've a little curious the other day when Mark contacted me indicating that he'd like to come over- - this was yesterday actually- - I said sure come on over. He also informed me that he'd been in contact with his sister who contacted him because she was concerned about my response to one of my accounts that covers my prescriptions and I indicated I was a little confused about having to update my passwords which I really hate to do. Mark informed me that he was coming over to assist me with that issue. I certainly welcome him coming over I always look forward to seeing any of my kids. I've written before about how it seems that Mark has become somewhat focused on taking care of me which is good but the same time a bit threatening.

I also think I've written before about how frustrated I get with all the different programs I have on my accounts that require account names and passwords or usernames and how frustrated I get when I'm forced to change one of these names for one reason or another or just update. I tried to appreciate what could happen to me should I get fished or get attacked by some bad person out there and it could really happen. And unfortunately or fortunately I don't have a whole lot to lose but if I did lose everything I would be someone freaked out there's no question about that. I just have to back up and realize that this is what the world is nowadays and era of electronic everything and I just have to bite the bullet and do what I have to do to use the services. Of course I bank with my credit cards and everything online and I also have a prescription service that gets me my meds all in one place and they mail them out to me. My confusion is that I never know exactly who's mailing what to me I just receive them and I seem to have enough medication to take care of what I need. I just hate thinking about getting into it and changing it at all because once you start changing then things really do happen that I don't want to have to deal with.

I must admit it really did feel like an intervention and Mark first came over but soon we got to enjoy each other's company and Mark was really helpful and helping me establish some new passwords and username. I was kind of pleased that a problem that he was concerned about had already been taken care of which I had done earlier in the day. I wasn't sure had I done the right thing but it looks like everything is copacetic. So now I'm new I've got a a new password and my username is correct and my drug should be coming as usual and anytime my kids want to do an intervention they're more than welcome..

Friday at the market

 Today I went to the other Market in my area. Lucky for me I live between two relatively good markets one Market is basic food and General Market which is relatively close to me and the other Market is a number of blocks south which is a large lower cost Market does that make sense? It's not like Costco where you have huge amounts of items for sale for a decent price this Market undercuts a lot of people in the area price wise and they have good items. I wish I could remember the name of the joint but it's slipping my mind right now and if I remember it I'll shove it in here( Walmart!) at some point. I pretty much went to check on a couple things one I wanted to get mixed nuts salted mixed nuts as well as some fresh fruits. Totally out of grapes so I wanted to get some good grapes and check on the sliced jalapeno peppers. I also want to get a bag of oranges and a bag of grapefruit which the other Market on the other side of me doesn't carry. I wasn't sure if I could carry two large bags of fruit home but I'll try at least look into it. Today wasn't super cold or maybe I'm just getting used to it I don't know but I caught the bus no problem and got to the market. I really do like doing my own shopping even though it'd be easier to have someone else do it I don't know if I'd be as happy with what they purchased as as much as I like to choose and select my food and produce. I don't have a very good leg cincher so my legs tend to spasm out on me and the leg binder I do use velcro is worn out to the point where it doesn't really keep it closed so I had all these cans on my lap and as well as the oranges and finally I checked out. The lady named Kathy was just really great. She was a little bit older but she's very patient with me even helped me lift the items onto the counter. I'm not going to go into it but I'm getting a little concerned about me being able to do things like throw the items out of the counter the way I used to. I swear it's because of my chair but that's when the first zdxsteps of denial right? Well I had all the items on the counter I really did my legs and put the band tight again and reposition the hook. I had brought my own bag and that's what we used for the real heavy stuff like the oranges we put them straight on my feet and I lifted the foot box up enough to cradle the oranges safely and then that's we also put the food in the bag that I brought. It worked out I was kind of surprised but I was able to catch the bus and get home and enjoy the afternoon and evening it was a nice Saturday. Snow is forecast for tomorrow…

I am wimp

I'm beginning to run into this kind of weird phenomenon that at the end of the day I remember things that I did that morning but they seem like they happened a long time before. What I mean is that this morning what's Thursday morning which means it's coffee group. That's every Thursday morning at 9:30. I went to the coffee group this morning and had the coffee and did some visiting socialized all the things that I need to do but now at the end of the day it seems like I did this a couple days ago not this morning. When I sit down and rationalize it out however I know that I did it this morning because it's Thursday and because I still remember bits and pieces of the event enough that let's be realize that it was this morning that I was at the coffee group. I don't know what this is and I don't think it's necessarily cognitive issues or SpaceTime relationships or whatever it could be. I think it's just being at the point of a long day that what happened in the early part of the day seems forever ago. I doubt this is going to in any way affect my daily living situations unless I start missing appointments. It's just another little thing that makes me realize I'm getting older. It seems the other part of this equation is my becoming more and more of a wimp. The days of turn cold again. There are cold Alaskan blasts of air. The temperatures don't get above the little 30s and even though the sun is out I'm still cold and the cold tires me out rather quickly. It used to be I could be out in the cold weather all day long and it didn't really bother me. It got me cold of course chilled but not to the point where it affected my ability to do one thing or another and it would never have kept me in the house had I better things to do on the outside. It was all I could do today to go to the market but I finally mustered up the strength put on my red jacket and cruised across the street to pick up a few items I totally believed I needed. I'm trying to increase my liquid intake during the day so I picked up a couple bottles of large V8 spicy vegetable juice. I really enjoy this beverage it makes me think I'm a grown up cuz I see anyone who enjoys V8 is an adult enjoying an adult drink. I also picked up a couple cans of jalapeno peppers the only drawback was they were whole peppers and I'd rather have sliced peppers. I would really like a certain brand to slice Peppers but for one reason or another my market does not carrying any sliced Peppers it seems like except for this one brand which I don't really like. All peppers are not created equal that's a fact plain and simple. Because I'm running low on Peppers which are a vital part of my concoction drink I bought the whole pepper SML either eat them bite bite ours pull a couple out slice them up before I use them on an item like meat burritos are bean burritos or whatever I might be ingesting. The jalapeno certainly give any little meal a zip which I like and I really enjoyed it. And I really like to believe it's good for me and some long-term bizarre way. I made the trip and I got the items I needed or I thought that I needed and then came back to the apartment turned up my heater it sat in front of it for the next couple of hours warming up trying not to be a wimp…

 

Peaches and cottage cheese

 I opened the can of peaches and heavy syrup tonight as a treat after dinner. I didn't even know that I had a can of peaches and heavy syrup. I've been trying to find syrup That's Heavy which is used in fruit. Seems like the only Peaches I have been able to find this in light syrup which I guess is good I really can't tell the difference now that I've had heavy syrup and it was just nice to have. It brought back all the memories that I've written about in the past about how one of my family's treats on Sunday night was peaches canned by my mom in the summer with the help of a lot of the kids, toast and cottage cheese. I've written a poem about well not a real poem just one stanza I've never been able to get past that. I was the person that seemed like who always had the job of going down the basement and getting the peaches and then bringing them up to the rest of the house. The basement was not a real basement it was a kind of cement room underneath the house that storage was provided. Rough you and shelves on which bottles of fruit and such replaced there's also a bin in the corner for potatoes and there was a hookup there that when the temperature got so cold that we could not keep the outdoor faucet out in the elements disengage that faucet and had to water the cattle from the faucet in the basement which was really pretty spooky for a kid by age anyway. But I've written about that in the past in this blog somewhere. Anyway, my job was to go down to that room to secure a bottle of peaches and bring it up. The poem would be called there's a boogie in the basement.. the lines that I do have is: there's a boogie in the basement, near the bottom of the stairs, I can always hear him growling by the peaches of the pears.. I really never been able to get past these first couple lines. I wish I could I know there's a major piece of work there that I've just different been able to tap into it's kind of sad I really like that piece and it came together naturally there's got to be more than I'm hiding somewhere for one reason or another, maybe just too frightening. I didn't fix toast tonight which would have been just perfect for the event. I just didn't have the patience just sit and wait for the bread to be toasted in my little baker oven. It would have been nice however. I was pleased that the cottage cheese was still usable. It says it's best used by sometime in December, the 11th I think. Cottage cheese was still somewhat liquidy and went really well with the peaches. I enjoyed the brief return to another day on peaches went well for a Sunday evening treat ellipsis

Beware a cautious future

 The temperatures aren't bitterly cold but they're uncomfortable to a certain degree when you're taking off at 10:00 in the morning to get to your 11:00 downtown. There was sunshine today most in clouds and when the sun was out being out in the or on the tarmac wasn't so bad. I was wearing my nice warm over the head Hood but wearing it as a neck wrap around and that made me very comfortable when I could give it to stay wrapped around my neck. If I had the patience I would stop and put it on the way I'm supposed to so I'm wearing it as a hood but no time for that when you're rolling around waiting for the bus. Today was a dropsy day all day long it seemed like I was dropping things out of my wallet or my bag or I was dropping my cell phone a lot. I dropped it on the bus I dropped it at the assist meeting then I dropped it later on at the restaurant for lunch. I was hyper alert because when I'm in a mood where I'm dropping everything it's also a high probability day that I'm going to lose something important IE either my wallet or my cell phone. Fortunately today I got home with everything and that's a good day.

Today was really the first real assist meeting of the new year. We actually had names that we had to sign and it sounded like somewhere they released monies for our clients so our signing would actually mean something. It was weird though the big boss is gone he's been gone pretty much the whole last 2 months. His daughter just went through a heart transplant she's just 10 or 12 or something like that and so they've had to spend a lot of time at the hospital and such. The office is open and things are getting just seems a little LAX and that's okay I don't have a problem. I noticed that Andreas who is the guy the citizen volunteer committee, that's who we are, as always trying to force the meeting to a close so he can take off and go collect his kid from daycare or preschool or whatever young guys like him have their kids into these days especially the ones that live in the Avenues. Again that's that whole loose thing that make up the staff of the assist organization these days. I really don't mind how long it takes to do our meetings and when we get out. I just hate being held up on silly talk that often the dates are meeting but the main silly talker wasn't there today so that wasn't a problem. We talked a lot today when we weren't signing contracts about the private nonprofits are having to consider now as we get closer and closer to inauguration in the new president-elect. I kind of feel it's going to be kind of iffy for a lot of private nonprofit agencies as well as folks who are low income. The new president isn't one I think the suffer low-income folks very readily. I really think he's going to try to get rid of that population and the folks that serve them as quick as he can once he's totally in the driver's seat and starts to try to bring about some of the promises he made during his campaign. All I can say is it's going to be very interesting to see what this crazy guy does the program who typically are low income

Monday's Madness

I believe I rattle on about this before but I think in lieu of the fact that I have been stressed out about it today I think I'll do some more rattling. Actually what's happening now to me is that one of the things I go through for my medications is Express Scripts. I think I got into this while I was still married and I didn't have to deal with it anyway cuz Diane took care of everything. Well seems that I'm still on Express Scripts though I don't think I use it very much. And, they've had everybody renew their subscriptions or prescriptions or whatever they do at the beginning of this new year. They made it sound very important that it be done at a certain time or people will lose their options with this program. Fortunately for me, I don't really use that many medications and so it doesn't really affect me that much I don't think. Maybe more than I think and I'm going to find that out in the next couple of days just to be sure but you have to go in and first of all get on the website which means passwords and names and all that kind of stuff. I have a morbid fear of passwords and I just know that I'll never be able to work with them in any significant manner. And particularly nowadays that they've become so worrisome that they're changing the passwords every couple months it seems like. Anyway, I have resisted having to do anything with this password changing thing until today and so and Diana's made it really important that I do this and so I'm trying to figure this out but it just defeats me each and every time. I'm going to have one of my kids come over probably Mark Anthony since he's only lives in town and see if he could set it up so everyone's happy and that I continue to get my two or three drugs on a regular basis. I think theoretically the whole concept of Express Scripts was to get all my meds through the mail and have them keep records of everything. However, I kept defeating myself and ended up going to the pharmacy of my market which I like to do and have that interaction with people. So they've been providing my drugs for my prescriptions but I get some other prescriptions through the mail and which I imagine is through the same program but why the difference is I don't know or what the difference is I don't know either way all I know is it's driving me crazy and I'll be happy when everyone's happy.

It's late Monday night. I don't know what happened but the evening got away from me and now I'm just finishing up on this particular project and have one left and I can get ready and get to bed. Tomorrow I have an assist meeting and so I'll be up sort of early dressed and out to catch the bus to go downtown. It feels good to get back into normal life again after the holidays. I always enjoy the transition back to normalcy

 

Sunday's ramble

 Now that the holidays are passed it seems like the world has begun to speed up. Not super fast but quicker than it was that's for sure. Having said that I really didn't do much today except have breakfast with Marc Anthony and Jasmine at our local place is the first time we've been there since before the holidays began. Was kind of nice to get back into the old routine. We have some good discussion and probably spend about 2 hours there before we found the se broke up. I basically just came back to the apartment and spent the rest of the day watching movies. I really tend not to do very much on Sunday so that's not a justification for wasting the whole day playing movies but I just don't know what else to do that's not real physical labor. I reckon I could be reading or doing more puzzles but that's somewhat trite and somewhat embarrassing to acknowledge. I'm just kind of enjoying the day oh well actually I was sort of Killing Time till the Jazz game started and I tried to watch the Jazz game, which I did to a certain degree till I got boring and then I watched a Marvel movie coming back to find the Jazz ahead and then the third quarter. The team eventually went on to win the game and I was totally surprised that's two wins in two days things are looking up for the boys on the hardwood. I'm curious to see how long this is going to continue. Maybe the guys are finally clicking and the rest of the season will be much more positive for the lads.

When I was out and about this morning heading over to the restaurant to meet up with the guys I was once again struck about how much I enjoyed being out and about. And that once I am out I'm feeling much more energized and open to different experiences if not generating new experiences. I think when I start thinking I am somewhat apartment Bound for whatever reason that's when I need to suit up and head out and just see what was going on on the outside world. This week I hope we will resume our meetings at the assist office and if that's the case I will get me up and out on the bus and downtown rolling around. Even if it's during rain and such I can always dress for that and enjoy my downtown time. One other thing just in passing I'm not sure how much of an issue this is but I've been feeling quite anxious at different parts are points of the day. I've become somewhat aware of a weird phenomenon happening it when I try to Exhale through my nose and keeping my mouth shut it seems like the wind gets caught up on something in my back of my mouth area. I don't think it's getting worse I mean it's not painful or anything it's just blocking the wind from leaving my body. I think I've had it before so I know it's not life-threatening that would be a drag but still I'm becoming more and more aware of the blockage each time I tried to Exhale and pay attention. Like I said it does not prevent me from breathing but sometimes gets a little I don't know chunky when I'm trying to blow out through my nose area. I thought maybe it was keeping me up at night but I don't think so cuz I sleep on my side and so that's not an issue. However this morning I woke at about 4:00 15:00 a.m. and thought I had to pee for the first time in weeks that I tried to use my catheter in bed. I really didn't end up using it but certainly took away the urge to pee. But I just don't know if anything's happening and I need to be aware. Tonight watching the flat screen I felt the anxiety in my chest a little bit but it passed thank goodness I just don't know what it is and I don't want to go through the whole process of having to go in and get it checked out and everything unless it really starts interfering with my day to day life then I'll take action…

Corner Crock-Pot

I just finished scrubbing out the crock pot that I used for a day of cooking. I took the roast that I purchased a few days ago actually before the New Year's and finally got around the cooking the meat today it was really a fun project I really enjoy cooking. I knew that the Crock-Pot project was going to take all day because I think it was a pot roast or a rump roast or something that's pretty tough it needed a lot of time under the Heat and I was willing to do whatever the job took. So I started at around 10:00 this morning after I got back from coffee with my neighbor. It snowed this morning really the first snow of this year where the snow actually came down to the valley floor and it looked like winter. It's pretty warm however the snow did not stay it melted quickly and soon the storm itself had moved on by that point in time however I was into my cooking project. I got the vegetables I also got the same time as the roast the small potatoes and the carrots. I had an onion and the last part of a clove of garlic which I smashed up and threw into the mix and I dug around and finally found a package of lipton's beefy Lipton soup mix which I found really does a good job on roasts in the crock pot. I turn the crock pot to low and then just hung out around the apartment for the rest of the day. Sweeping up here trying to put things away there cleaning out the refrigerator so I'll have a place to put the roast and vegetables once they get roasted. I did all that and like I said just a few minutes ago I finished the crock pot. I remembered to put in the garlic sesame seed oil I think helped a great deal because there was hardly any residue left in the bottom of the crock pot when I finally dumped the meat into their vessel that I stuck in the refrigerator leaving just the dirty crock pot. Took it to the sink filled it with a shot of dish soap and then turned on the hot water and let it sit for 2 or 3 hours or the length of the Utah Jazz basketball game.

But I think I like best about cooking is the ability to take a bunch of unrelated items put them together add Heat or whatever and a edible item turns out at the end- - usually. I'm pretty lucky that most of the things I make turn out relatively okay. Since I cook for myself I'm easy to please. If I were cooking for somebody else that would be another matter and I don't know how well that would turn out however my ex-wife- - who my regularly communicate with- - always enjoyed my cooking especially since I was excited to do it and turned out well enough that she enjoyed it and I enjoyed it worked out pretty good. What was really fortuitous in that relationship was that she had real cooking experience in the number of different areas and was more than willing to instruct me on the better ways to cook and most proficient ways to cook. Before that. I just threw together whatever I had especially in all guy situations they'll eat anything they don't have to cook especially if it's warm and got enough salt and there's enough cold beer in the refrigerator to wash it down. I usually cook the apartments that I lived in that I had roommates with and they are more than happy to let me do it. Well, the crock pot is clean but the rest of the kitchen took a major hit no question about it. I tend to drop a lot of stuff on the floor when I'm around the refrigerator and I cook right next to the refrigerator so well a sample spoons full of food Falls onto the floor floor gets quite messy somewhat sticky and all together gross. The one person I have that is a fairly good cleaner won't be here until Wednesday so until that time unless the grandkids show up the food projects on the floor we're going to stay where they're at. The crock pots clean and then it's a little space under the cupboard and unplugged from the power strip so no problems can happen there I'll let the rest of the kitchen fly until Monday I have food for Sunday and I've got to go to breakfast in the morning so far

 

Clarity please

There's a storm coming in and that's supposed to bring snow to the valley floor. No I'm not spooked by snow and I doubt there's going to be enough on the valley floor to really worry about but still it's going to be messy and cold and possibly a little bothersome. So, with that in mind I figured that if I needed to get anything done important I would do it today so I can just hang out at the apartment for the next couple of days as a giant cold front supposed to race through the area in the next couple of days. The only thing I really needed to do was get over to my Credit Union pull some cash out so I would have currency to work with here at the apartment are going over to the market are the coffee shop or wherever. I tried to not use my plastic anymore than I have to so I get a couple hundred bucks of cash that I can use for tips to my staff as well as cash for my person that comes in and cleans every once in a while for me. I don't have a standard cleaning person- - though I said on a regular basis I've just never pulled the hammer back and pulled the trigger on that particular project.

I checked with the local weather guys who indicated it was going to be above normal temperature wise basically the war before the storm phenomenon but there wasn't good to be any sunshine. I didn't have anything else slated for the day so after I got done with my shower and got dressed and got a little something to eat I suited up it went out to catch the bus. I tried something new because the bus I was going to get on was also going to try to be boarded by a family with a giant baby carriage and about three kids and I just didn't have the patience to see if they would all get on the bus and still have room for me. So I figured I would catch another bus that would really get me to the credit union perhaps even quicker. And it kind of worked that was okay the day was warm as they promised felt like spring. I still had my hood on just in case but I was definitely warm enough and I didn't mind waiting. I probably waited as long to catch the 47 as I would have on the 217 but that's okay the bus did come and I climbed on board got off at the bank. I didn't even think about today being Friday which means everybody in their duck would be at the bank. When I finally got into the credit union and I realized it was soon after the first of the month and it was a Friday and there was a line that almost went outside that building. Luckily I'm sitting down I don't know what those poor people standing have to go through. I settled in and waited for the line to move which it did eventually getting me to the front of the line. All I wanted us to pull out $200 10 $10 bills s and 5 twenties and somehow in the conversation with the tiller- - and this was all my fault I totally realize this- - I conveyed that I wanted 20 $5 bills. I thought the envelope was a little fat when you handed it to me but I didn't pay that much attention it's only when I got home, tonight coming into the bedroom to put the money away did I realized I had 20 $ five bills. I freaked out for one second then decide it's not a big deal they would spend just as well maybe even better. I was just glad to be done with the day and home in front of my big screen and thinking about dinner…

 

Getting back to normal

 It almost feels normal again. I can almost see the holiday at the rear view mirror now. I woke up this morning as normal got up made the transfer safely and made me feel comfortable made me feel good. I got dressed went down and had coffee with the group which wasn't very much and seemed to be somewhat meager compared to what usually is going on on Thursday morning coffee group. It could just be the first of the year blase or something and everyone still might be confused with the day changes and such. Anyway, following the coffee group I cross the street and went for my haircut. This is where I think I'm just having to reevaluate my whole concept of price and affordability. It ends up that I paid 20 bucks plus a $3 tip for a haircut which I could have gotten on Tuesday had I had the Africans do it and when they said 20 bucks it totally freaked me out. But the time in between days I had time to think about how much a haircut goes I guess for these days and so when the girl at the haircut place I didn't even bark at paying the 20 bucks maybe it's because I was playing with my plastic and that didn't feel as painful as forking over 20 bucks for a fairly quick haircut. I wonder if my regular haircut Lady will ever get back and I can go back to pain 10 bucks for the whole shooting match. I spoke with Diane for a while this afternoon and she did some searching and found some fairly economical hair clippers that if I were to get those I could have my care person Melissa do the hair cutting which I think she could with one of the plastic hair things on the Clippers that makes everything the same size. I mean seriously I have such little hair to begin with I doubt it's $20 worth of work. Melissa seems up for it however and it would be nice to have her or whoever is doing my care be able to give me a quick Buzz once a month or something. 

I'm getting kind of excited now. At the market today I was able to get the vegetables I want to put in my roast I'm going to make on Saturday. Got some baby potatoes which I think will be just right plus the turnip as well as a bag of baby carrots. I have the onions already so I don't care on that level. Now it's just a matter of throwing it all together for my Saturday dinner I'm totally excited. I plan to save the drippings from the roast or whatever it's called when you take and cook your roast in the crock pot. The juices which are left over and use that to make a gravy. I had gravy and mashed potatoes the other night at the restaurant we went to when Marc Anthony was back from his trip and I forgot how much I love potatoes and gravy but a good gravy. The gravy they had at the Chinese place is a bit of a wash. But if I can get something very savory from the roast I think it would make a great gravy… a good gravy.

New Year's Day!

 It seemed I spent a great part of the day and confusion for some reason I couldn't wrap my head around the fact today was the first of January! I thought yesterday was the first for some reason somehow I transposed New Years Eve into New Year's Day. It was such a comfort and I realized that I in fact wasn't crazy and today was not the second day of January. I think it was Marc Anthony who eventually sent me straight on what day of the week are the year actually it was. Mark sent me an email earlier on indicating that he's back in town and he wanted to meet with me and go out to lunch or something. We eventually did this going over to the Chinese restaurant across the street and it was a little awkward at first because it's one of those places where you have to cook your own food and make your own dinner and stuff after paying an ungodly price to even be there but it was my gift to Mark Anthony so I figured what the heck. He was impressed with it. He's back from Europe and we had a great visit regarding his trip he brought me Christmas gifts for this trip and that was a lot of fun. About candy from different parts of Europe they visited austria, Frankfurt Germany, and a lot of other cities he was able to make contact with and with his friends slash work folks. I'm still not quite sure what his long-term goal is as far as working with these people over the internet and such he's been doing the last couple years but I think it's real important to him to have the Hands-On contact with them and just have the whole thing become real to them and to him. I have to say I'm impressed and it's not just because he's my kid. Anyway, we had a pretty good meal at the restaurant then came home because it looked like the weather was getting very inclement and I could tell that he was really beginning to get tired he's still having to deal with jet lag and getting back to a sleep schedule. I really should have done this blog earlier in the night but I was sort of caught up in watching too much flat screen. Tonight it was the Jazz getting beat once again and finishing watching a movie that I started earlier. So at least I got out to dinner with Mark and Anthony for my New Year's Day that was great and it certainly made me feel like I did something on the holiday and isn't that what I've been trying to do this whole Christmas season. I did visit with Shel briefly when she called Mark and I and we had a good visit.

Had a good session with most of this morning. She was in a good mood and we did a good job with the shower and the toilet session. She also really enjoyed the food in the refrigerator as well. I'm glad she will eat these things because that's the best tip I can give her and I think that's what she says too all she would like for a tip if somebody to feed her. I was also pleased that she sort of jumped in to the lasagna she found in the refrigerator and got a good plate of it so that takes a lot of pressure off me as far as trying to figure out what I'm going to do with that much lasagna. Between she and I it'll be fastly gone or quickly gone. So, it was a good first day of the year and I think hopefully we'll have better days too. If I would have a resolution it'll be at least read one page a day regardless of my situation. I didn't get any physical stuff in today so I'm way behind on my 200 minutes and I don't know if I'll be able to make them up this week but maybe I can try tomorrow. All I've got to do is get my haircut and hopefully that's enough

 I really had every intention of staying up till 12:00 to bring in the New Year but right now I don't see how I can do it I'm exhausted. It's been a pretty good day however. I'm most excited about the fact that I got my letters printed folded stamped money in the envelopes that needed it and then sent via the folks over at the market where I bought my stamps. I was really kind of spooked that I wouldn't be able to get the letters mail today but they have a drop off later on in the day that they'll drop the letters off at the post office which is great because it gets them out of my hair and ready for the new year. I went shopping today probably just for the fun of it but I wanted to get a roast instead I got a roast and a 5 lb frozen lasagna - - family size! I cannot believe I purchased that. My freezer is too small and two packed with stuff to except anything the size of this lasagna. Even the refrigerators too small. I was going to try to cook it for a while then chop it up into hunks and freeze some of it but that didn't work. So what I'm planning on doing is just letting the thing cool to zero and then either separated into another container and freeze it or just put it in the refrigerator and eat it this next week dash dash which I could do it's a good piece of cooking that's for sure I'm enjoying what little bit I had for today. I got the hat today from my friend here at the apartment complex who enjoys making or knitting caps. It's a little small little tight on the brain but I'm enjoying it just the same. The place is a bit of a mess for no particular reason except that I'm lazy and have not really roomed it for a while. Hopefully, Melissa will do some sweeping tomorrow maybe I can do some before she gets here.

I'm kind of proud of myself I really haven't watched a whole movie today though I did watch a couple of episodes of a current series that I'm watching which I found on Netflix. I think I've seen it before at least part of it but I'm kind of enjoying watching the whole thing now we'll see what comes of it I have two more episodes to go and then hopefully they'll do a new series or a new season. I just hate getting involved in these kind of things and then they've never make another season so you never know what finally happens to the series or that they do a season every couple years. It's hard to stay engaged. I didn't work out today just because I wasn't paying attention. Or I was out shopping or something that took me off tasks. I'm going to have to work hard now to get my 200 minutes by Saturday night. Tomorrow's New Year's and I'll put a load of wash in hopefully. Didn't force myself onto the arm bike at some point and be able to do some workout minutes that way. I don't have anything planned to speak of I never do but I have things to do probably for the next day or so just to get ready for the new year. That would be great if that were true anyway- - happy New Year dear reader thanks for putting up with me another year.

PS of interest to note while I was at the market this morning I realize there was a fantastic Sams right next to the market! I went in and they couldn't cut my hair today because there's only one Barber working and she was booked all day but I made arrangements to have time on Thursday to have my haircut. This would really be great and tell my regular Barber gets back hopefully she'll be getting healed her leg seems to have some issues so problem solved. I didn't get the haircut by New Year's but I will be getting a cut before the beginning of the new week first week of the new year.

Magic Jaxon

 You all know that I write my kids every month. I like to have the letters done and sent by the end of the month prior to the month they're getting the letters for. I suppose it's not a big deal but I always treated to such and it's important to me to get the documents out as close to the end of the month as I can. So I generally use the last week of the month to write and send the Letters Out which I did this month and was a little excited just because I had that month between December 25th and New Year's which means it shouldn't have been as traumatic as it usually is. No matter what I prepared to do there's always challenges I'd like to have it go without challenges but I do not think that is the way it will be ever. This month was actually going fairly well until yesterday and this morning. I think I reported yesterday I dictated the letters and today I was going to spend printing them out and the envelopes. Well what I got into the project my printer failed on the first try of the envelope print. The screens on the printer indicated that I had a paper jam and didn't surprise me. Between positioning the printer close to where I can reach the printer once I elevate my chair and start feeling around with the top part of the printer, raising the lid and doing this and I'm doing that so I can get to the rollers to where the mangled envelope or a piece of paper is usually stuck. I've done this a number of times to the point where I'm not nearly as intimidated as I used to be going inside the printer like that I'm trying to bring about resolution. This time however I pulled a piece out apart out of the printer that wouldn't go back in as it should of course everything had had to stop so I can get some other person to help place the things back into the print of the way they should be. It wasn't working I eventually called enough to message with my granddaughter, who has more than once volunteered more to come over and help me if I seem to have a problem- today I had a problem. I did place the call or left a message on her messenger or what Facebook or some other systematic messaging system. She eventually got back to me and indicated that they could come over this evening and help me if I still needed to- - I really still needed to get some feelings of comfort from the stresses of the day.

Fixing this computer system did not come easy but with the young minds these days so apt into technical things it didn't take Jackson long to put the computer printer back together again the parts that I took off. I didn't really get to mess with the system after he left it was only until a little bit later that I was able to verbally dictate my thoughts on the day. I think it's always good to be able to communicate with other folks in my living areas today. There was clouds and rain at times during this day. The turf is still too warm for snow to settle in but we did get pounded in the mountains what you really needed and I was able to go pretty easily myself to the toilet and back. With the resilience of Youth and the fact that this generation is totally connected to all the hardware and software that goes along with living in the computer age or high-tech age. Jackson was able to get the computer functional and I turn them loose. Of course when I tried to do the system tonight it didn't work well so I had to mess around and mess around and finally I was able to get an area that I'd be able to work in around the computer but we got the basic background and work area around the street. It was a cold day lots of clouds and chili chilly weather when you wanted not to be so

Sweating Sunday

 I didn't hear back from the kids last night so I just canceled, at least my involvement, in any breakfast at the restaurant for this Sunday. I figure when Mark gets back this week sometime we can start the process again next week. This allowed me to then to have their illusion of sleeping in which of course so this week I woke up around 5:00 a.m. and I couldn't get back to sleep maybe even an hour earlier than that it was strange. I wish I could say I got involved in something and went somewhere and did something but to be honest with you my butt was feeling a little sore and so I ended up pampering my butt all day long leaning back in my chair to get the weight off of it and then just watching various movies. I really enjoyed the day honestly but feel significantly guilty for having blown off a lot of it except for I did get my kid letters written. I still have to go through the process of printing them and then folding and put him in the envelopes and send it off. I think I even have to get over to the market and purchase a bunch more stamps but that's not a big deal. I'm sure after a good night's sleep and a shower in the morning then have all it so check my skin for breakdown and such I should be able to scoot over to the market by Monday and if not then Tuesday and get the letters sent off New Year's Eve. Somehow I think that's appropriate for this end of the year thing. This should be able to get their Letters by the end of the first 7 days of the month and New Year.

So the biggest thing I have to do now the remainder of this year is to find a barber I can substitute until my regular lady gets back. I hope she comes back I really like her a lot. I'm a little worried about what a new Barber is going to cost me but I should just get used to it and write it off as doing business. I'm getting to feel real bushy again and then with whatever's happening to me body wise I'm sweating a lot more everyday my head is damp if not wet which means I'm in a lot of pain somewhere I figure if I have less hair it'll be less gooey and sticky for me to have to deal with. I don't know if it's the pain in my feet that's causing the sweats are the agitation to my rear end it's one of those two I think. It could just be me sitting so caddywampus in my chair. I don't think I'm going to get any power chair relief until I get another our new chair that's still a year off. I wish it weren't so but that's just the way that it is

Saturday's Snip

 When I first moved into this place I don't know how many years ago I was pleased to find there as a barber just across the street. A little hole in the wall surrounded by Hispanic businesses IE stores shops and such and there was Mila's place. She spoke very little English but enough that we could get by readily. The best part was that she only charged $7 to cut my hair. This initially sounded like a lot but when I started checking out some of the other places around the area I found out this was a real deal almost half what other barbershops were charging for the same amount of work. I think I even talked about her at one time in the blogs about the fact that she was the soul owner of the barbershop but she actually rented space in the back for a number of Latino hair Craftsman's. These guys are the ones that do the intricate haircuts on other Latino most men. There was a lot of Razor Cuts and all kinds of cuts that kind of astounded me and I think they were actually charging big bucks to these people who are getting the haircuts and of course they are all paying my love because it was her project and her shop and I don't think any of them had licenses to cut hair let alone documentation of citiz citizenship in the area. Now however I made a call this morning to see if Milo was going to be open today enemas disheartened to find that she was not open in fact she was feeling sort of ill and didn't know when she would be back into her little shop. I know this doesn't really sound like it's very dramatic but I think it really does mask something that might be worse and long-term if not final. I hope she gets over what she's battling with quickly and can get back to cutting my hair and those others I think that might depend on her. In the meantime that means I have to Shag out some other Barber type person in the area and maybe even have to look at increasing the the cost of the haircut now. With Myla I could just use a $10 bill to cover everything even with her tip and such and she always seems to be totally excited by my bigger tip .

It's Saturday night and I'm sort of killing time until the basketball game tips off around 7:30 p.m.. the Utah Jazz lost the last game a few days ago and now they're at it again. I hope to support these guys and enjoy a little bit of the game. I have to admit the game on Thursday night was pretty close they only won by two points but it's still quite frustrating to see my team losing such easy shots which I thought were the case but actually these guys are actually very tired by the time the third quarter gets around. I should not charge them so harshly. I've got all kinds of crackers tonight and I mixed up some nice sweet tasting water to drink while I watch the game. Starting kind of late but that's not bad I'm not sure if we'll do breakfast in the morning Mark Anthony is not got back from his European trip yet. Maybe tonight but I don't think he'd be up to doing anything in the morning and I haven't heard back from my granddaughter either way I think it'll be a nice Sunday except for the precipitation

Fridays fuss

 I don't know if I would have gone out even if I had a chair that was functional today. It was just too overcast and quite frankly cold. And as always if I don't have a reason to go out I'm not going to go out just to be out though I need to rethink that statement at some point. Because there is a part of me that feels I need to be out just so that I can tell people that I've been out and I'm doing something. I've been experiencing guilt at not living my life to its fullest I guess. I don't know if that's fair to write but that's how I feel sometimes when I don't take advantage of how good the days are and I elect to stay home, inside watching the dreaded flat screen.

Once again I had a wheelchair problem. It came about sometime yesterday afternoon or evening and the left side of my wheelchair, the arm mechanism on the left side it's a very complicated piece of machinery- at least it is to me. It seems, periodically the armrest itself will actually slide out from the Barbara's tray built into the arm itself. It's almost like there was a set screw or something that has come loose and when that happens the arm rest itself are the padded arm rest will slide out of the arm mechanism making it very difficult for me to try to set up and stuff cuz I really depend on that arm being fixed so I can pull myself up all during the day. When the arm comes off it exposes just the hard metal that's really digs into my skin every time I pull myself up to a sitting position or try to pull myself up to a sitting position. I tried to fix it myself which I can never do it's just something I cannot do and finally I elected to call my older brother who is just great at this kind of things. Earlier in the day I put a message on his social media messenger but never got back and finally in the afternoon I gave him a call on his cell phone and luckily he was happy to be at the market not too far from my place kind of and he came right over and with what little tools I had we were able to fix the armrest and get it back into working order at least let me have the rest of the afternoon and evening with an armrest I can depend on to pull myself up into the sitting position as best as I can. By this point in time I was deep into watching The Avengers trilogy and so I did break time to make some dinner which I actually cooked something I have been thinking about for a long time. It's Polly pie type casserole made with one can of canned tamales, one can of chili one can Frijoles and a frozen tamale that I got from Costco. They're really large tamales quite good actually threw them all into the 8x8 pan that I've got and cook them for 30 minutes at 3 50° I covered them with the rest of my shredded cheese as well as Fritos I still had some left in the bag I threw those on. Afterwards I thought about I should have opened up a can of olives and mixed with it as well that would have been really good. Anyway cook them, and had a bowl of that rule for dinner it was pretty decent actually I thought so I'm not even try to use the filling and make some tortillas or a burrito of some sort out of them I don't know if that would work I have both flour and corn tortillas I think that would be decent I'll let you know what I do. That was pretty much it for the day though I don't think I even went 2 miles. It was nice having my caretaker back this morning seems like she had been gone a long time.

The day after

  The holiday falling in the middle of the week has me totally messed up. It feels like it's Friday or even Saturday but I still have half a week to go it seems like. Anyway it's not too bad except for the weather so inclement that I don't have any reason to go out so I'm not going out. Everything I need is here at the apartment so I'm happy as a clam long as I've got my internet connection and big screen. The only thing I would go out for right now is if my barber happens to show up at her shop tomorrow. I would be surprised if she does but I need to start looking seriously at getting my hair is cut cuz I'm getting kind of bushy and no one likes a bushy mark.

I did something today that I've been talking about doing for some time but have just not gotten around to it and that was to make oatmeal cookies. It was sort of a half-hearted attempt for a number of reasons the foremost reason being the brown sugar that I found was hard as a rock. I know I have another bag of brown sugar somewhere in the apartment that's a lot newer than that one it would actually be soft and be very usable for cookies. But I pounded and thrashed the bag of brown sugar and that helped a little bit I also threw the brown sugar into the microwave nuked it for a couple minutes which didn't do as much as I thought was going to I thought it might make it softer but it didn't I got enough brown sugar out I think to do with the basic job I got 3/4 of a cup and I think that's what it called for it was a weird recipe that I had a very simple one. That's okay I don't mind simple when it comes to cookies maybe if they're not good enough I won't eat very many of them which means I will not gain any extra weight that I don't need. I was surprised that the cookie dough actually went together and I probably got enough dough to make at least a dozen of these hard little oatmeal hockey pucks. I also put in nuts which I hope we're not Rancid you know walnuts that I haven't used in years. I also opened up a box of raisins and added them to the mix. No eggs or anything which I thought was kind of weird but I went with what the recipe said and it came out with something that look kind of like cookies they're pretty weird very unsweet but perhaps that's best like I said the amount that I eat that's for sure. So I made another mess in the kitchen hopefully Melissa will be around tomorrow and hopefully she'll tidy up a little bit. I'm also going through a major clean out of the refrigerator right now. Between the garbage and the disposal I've gotten rid of most of the evidence that I had some kind of a Thanksgiving dinner stuffed in the refrigerator somewhere. So it was kind of a maintenance day today but that's good I got my 60 Minutes in on the arm bike and I had the breakfast leftovers that came over with the kids yesterday during the Christmas visit it was a pretty good day after

Christmas 2024

 I really can't count what happened today is a Christmas miracle so it probably is at least for me all things considered. I wasn't really expecting a whole lot this Christmas I know that a couple weeks ago visiting at the Sunday morning breakfast my granddaughter and grandson-in-law indicated that they would be coming over on Christmas Day especially after I told him I wasn't really going to be doing much of anything. We sort of put together a plan that since they are having to go to two or three or four different family functions and events or food would be present that they would scarf a little food at each place and bring me over a Christmas dinner so to speak. I didn't really pay that much attention to it especially since they left and went to Las Vegas last week and I wasn't really sure when they were coming back. I had not heard from them really or anything particularly to the Christmas event. Even yesterday I hadn't heard of anything and I didn't really make contact with them so I just sort of didn't pay a whole lot of attention and spent last night watching Marvel movies in this morning at least one Marvel movie I know maybe two. It was a quiet morning I didn't really prepare it a breakfast I thought about it but since I still had pizza in the refrigerator as well as spaghetti I didn't feel I needed to go out of my way. Then in the afternoon I hear a knock on the door and the kids bringing me over packages for Christmas to open as well as plates of breakfast food since the only things family functions they had been to her morning events to open Christmas presents and such and so the families had prepared breakfast food of French toast, eggs and bacon and that kind of fair it was good to have something to look forward to though. We put tin foil on them and stuck them in the refrigerator which I can have tomorrow for a breakfast and how long it'll last me. The the presence were always nice to open and I certainly enjoyed the Practical nature of their main present which was a safer power strip type of device, the device they got was much more practical and safer than what I have been using. That was pretty exciting and of course Jackson went right to work and took the old power strip off and plugged in the new one and now I feel so safe and all the plugs are securely logged into the new Power container strip which means that my plugs will stay safe and attached. The kids left and I totally enjoyed the rest of my evening and afternoon. Backing on this and snacking on that until I got rid of the hunger pangs and enjoyed this Christmas of 2024….

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve and I'm sitting here by my bed with a pile of laundry that needs to be folded and hung and I'm dictated by blog for the day so I can get that done for sure I don't know how much of the clothes project I'll get done but probably just fold the shorts for sure. It's not like I've been homebound all day in fact I've been out twice. The first to go over to the coffee shop which I thought was going to be open and of course it's not or was not. I wanted to get some coffee to go with my Christmas morning and the next couple of mornings. I'm almost out of the coffee I had I thought sure I had enough to get by if I could get to the coffee shop today but that's a no-go. So being without coffee Justified myself to Buck up and head across the street to the market to get a small container of coffee the last way through till next week. The coffee shop is really into some weird holiday vacations for their staff so they're sort of closed off and on for the next couple days and I just didn't want to break my brain trying to figure it out so I got the coffee and some other items I needed for I think a good Christmas Eve. I watched or even in the middle of watching something called stealth which is okay it's a another one of the movies that's basically showcasing the problems with artificial intelligence. It's relatively entertaining I don't know how much as far as AI goes but it's talking about a computer system that's gone whack All In controls jet fighters of course that always adds to the tension as well as nuclear missiles under its control. I had to turn off the program so I can get to my blog and clothes. I tricked Myself by throwing the clothes on the bed so I'll have to do something with them before I can go to bed. I'll probably just fold the shorts and leave the hanging for tomorrow. I haven't heard from my granddaughter Jasmine, who is suggesting something to do over the Christmas Day. I know that they but out of town for a while but it's getting close to Christmas day I've got to figure out what's going on. I didn't get a ham like I thought and I don't have a roast beef so if anything maybe I'll take out some sausage in the freezer and thawed out for tomorrow breakfast and I still have some pizza left over from yesterday's Pizza as well as I have spaghetti either of which would be an acceptable Christmas dinner offerings. The apartments breaking down to a mess really quickly especially for my trips to the market and coming back and pulling the items out of the bags and put them on the table or in the refrigerator or wherever they have to go. I've had some treats by my television/screen so the floor in the TV area is getting quite crusted over that's great Christmas time happenings. I'll hold off until tomorrow evening or the day after Christmas sweep up a little bit then have my caregiver help me more on Friday when she returns. It's a quiet Christmas Eve it's probably good that I don't have eggnog or Rum for eggnog… 

Christmas week

 It's the first day of Christmas week at least that's how I count it I don't count Sunday so it's Monday and Christmas is this week. Not that makes any difference to speak of but just for clarity's value. And of course I have not done anything Christmas Eve to speak of. I have not done any shopping and I've not sent any cards out. I do have some Christmas spirit there's no question about it I feel the season and I feel the holiday and have appreciated the gifts that I have gotten but feel guilty about not doing anything on gifts myself to anybody else. I don't know if it's the money spending thing or the fact that it's difficult to get out and do shopping as such but those are all excuses I think. I mean with the internet and with Amazon delivery I could just buy the stuff on Amazon and have them drop it off at the house that needs the Christmas gift so it's not necessarily disability though I like to hide behind it when I get a chance. But as far as going out and mingling with the Shoppers I have not done that except for going to the regular market and that's probably enough. Today was a good day I actually put more than two miles on my odometer today which means I really got around compared to what I have been doing and of course I just went to the the market but I went the long way if that makes any difference. I even stopped at Pizza Hut which is in the same parking lot as the market I go to and just quiz them about how much their Pizza would be. I don't think I like Pizza Hut pizza but maybe I need to get over that since I was not really impressed with the pizza I got last week from D Domino's. It was a small pizza for a lot of money. I don't think I like Pizza Hut pizza but I may have to order it some they just to see. It doesn't look all that appetizing and it's real totally expensive too comparatively speaking against the Domino's offerings. So tonight to fulfill my pizza craving I decided I would go with something from the market. I looked at the fancy Dancy stuff and decided against it for the price and what you got and went with some of the other pizzas that are in the pizza section in the Frozen Foods area. I finally went with Craven's Supreme I believe it's what it was and it didn't look that good when I pulled it out of the box but when I heated up in the oven it came out okay it wasn't half bad. Interestingly my neighbors upstairs actually sent me down some pizza as well. The main reason I ordered the pizza was to watch the Jazz game tonight. I should have saved my money they lost but that's okay it was still fun having the pizza and I have a lot of it now just stretch over the next couple of days. I almost bought a ham when I was at the market just because it's nice to have a Christmas ham but again decided against that sense of it only be for me with us a lot of money in a lot of meat. I still might do something like that before it's all over I don't mind him and I'm going to use the freezer option more often these days so I waste food which I have been known to do..

Sunday's solitude

 To be honest I was quite lost not having the kids here to go to breakfast with on Sunday morning. Granted I could have made a production fried up some eggs or made some Frank or some other breakfast option - I did get frozen hash brown potatoes so I could have even had hash browns and eggs and spam but I didn't do any of that I just was not motivated. It's kind of strange. I'm just not doing stuff for myself the way that I used to do it. I got up early enough kind of valid for a while I had some of my concoction for breakfast actually a couple spoonfuls of it warmed up some coffee and even had one of the tamales covered with concoction for breakfast lunch in between her. End up watching stuff on Netflix a series of into right now called Shogun I read the book years ago and quite enjoying the series I'm just about finished with it however I don't know if there'll be another series of Shogun or whatever. It's really kind of a sad movie or series all done in Japanese. I truly enjoyed the novel in the series seems to be pretty good too I don't know what's going to do the whole book or if it's going to break it up in the series years. Other than that I can't think anything else that I did today I spent some time in the afternoon evening visiting with Diane a little I will be glad to have Monday roll around so I can get back into my normal routine. It's supposed to be rainy tomorrow maybe even a little bit snowy if we get into the Christmas Day. Melissa has indicated that she would like to have Christmas off and she's willing to come in on Monday as well as Tuesday then wednesday, which is Christmas day, she would be off coming in again I think on Thursday or I could possibly make it to Friday. The Christmas week there's always a challenge as far as home health support goes. I think I'm in the best place I have been in a long time as far as having regular movements and being able to maintain myself in a regular fashion. My part came in for the pot for the bed and we'll have to see what Kent can do this week and see if we can get either the new bread or parts of the old bed in this bed and the new front and the thing which came on Thursdays to Saturday's Amazon delivery. Now it's just a matter of getting Kent over here to see if we can get something working. The bed's been working okay I'm just afraid that's going to stop working all together if we don't get on to it. On to that that's pretty much my Sunday not really exciting I don't think I even went a mile as far as my odometer goes. I guess I just need to get some rest sleep tight and get through the holiday season

SOLSTICE!

 It's taking me a long time to finally realize why perhaps universally Solstice is probably larger than Christmas all things considered. I fully understand now why Solstice means so much are meant so much to people in the past to know that they were finally passed the dark time or that time where each day the amount of daylight was becoming less and less and from the Solstice forward the days are hours of sunlight with increase. It truly is a celebration of light and now I am more excited to pass the solstice that I am Christmas. Solstice basically gives me a somewhat guarantee of another year of light. Not trying to be over dramatic but it's kind of true in my mind anyway.

The biggest even of my day was crossing the street to the coffee shop to meet with Janet, my coffee shop buddy. We meet usually every Saturday at 9:30 at the coffee shop and gossip and enjoy the cup of coffee. I of course buy my coffee today however it was given to me by the coffee guy. I suppose it was his concept of a Christmas gift and I was certainly not going to turn it down. That makes 2 weeks in a row that I've had my coffee purchased for me. Last week the owner of the coffee shop basically gave me the cup of coffee I paid for the coffee with the couple dollar bills and he basically took one or two and stuck him in the tip jar for the staff but basically gave me the coffee for free. That was kind I really enjoyed that I mean it's not that much I mean three or four bucks I can't remember quite what it is. The place is crowded this morning much more than usual. It seemed like all the people who come over the year was here today. They were boxes of homemade cookies and candy all over the table of the main group. Fortunately we are able to find a spot for me against the far wall, usually where I sit anyway but it wasn't too observable from the front door when I rolled in. They parted for me and I went back and grabbed the table. We did our usual discussion of events and people there at the complex where we live. Talking especially about the new people that have moved in and maybe some of the older ones that might be moving out, one way or the other. One of them is a good friend of mine who lives across the hall. She's very tall and skinny and old. Recently, she is falling a couple of times and when that starts happening it's sort of like happy trails time for the individual. In fact my friend told me about the fact that she was found in her car slumped over the steering wheel a few days ago where she had basically fallen asleep. I never did learn whether she had fallen asleep tonight before she was found or that she had gone out earlier and then fell asleep. But my coffee partner found a slumped over and of course thought she was dead at first but then she woke and acted like everything was normal. I don't give her that much more time at least here at the complex. I think if she falls again she's going to hurt herself quite severely and either pass away then or be sentenced to long-term care. And even then long-term care is not going to be long-term. It's kind of spooky because all of us are very much like this lady just a different times. A number of the folks that have been icons here at the complex are we getting the filter out which means new people are coming in which is completely changing the complexion of the building. It's not necessarily A Bad Thing but there's a bit disjointing for us long-term Folk. I continue to enjoy my new old latch on the side of my chair which allows me to easily remove the arm of my chair. Thought about staying up late tonight since my son is in Europe and my granddaughter is in Las Vegas but I think I would rather hit the sack early and read…

Friday's stress relief

 I was so stressed out this morning when to fix my friend yesterday performed on my power chair, arm release failed and the arm was locked in the chair itself. I didn't know quite what I was going to do this evening when it would be time to go to bed and I would not be able to undo the arm and transfer into the bed. Fortunately however my friend Kent, from ucat call and we had a good chat regarding the situation. He informed me that he was going to Ogden to check on a possible bed frame and also he was going to check with power chairs he had in stock to see if that part for my chair might be available. To be honest I wasn't really too hopeful on the whole situation and I think I was kind of getting depressed. But like you said though he stopped by the apartment about 1:30 and he had found two possible options the levers were broken but they were still functional. We got busy on the project or should I say Kent got busy on the project and remove the offending part which was a bit of a challenge particularly since we could not get one piece we needed free but after a little bit of negotiating we got it taken apart and we ended up putting the new brake release in place and it worked just fine it worked better than fine. I'm so happy it's such a great relief. Now, I just have to sweat out the bed frame to see if we can switch out the the motors that operate the the raising function of both front and back of the bed plus the whole Frame Up and Down. If we can get this piece in place I will count this as my Christmas miracle and be happy as a cram all season long.

Since I really couldn't do anything until I met with Kent which I wasn't sure when that was going to happen. I pretty much stayed in the apartment all morning long and actually in the afternoon too. I washed up a few dishes and did some basic housekeeping options. Fortunately it's Friday and that means my home health person Melissa is here and she did a great job sweeping up and getting things ready for my weekend. She knows I like the place a little more organized in case something happens like something social- - it happens every once in a while usually around holidays but since Mark is in Europe this weekend and the kids are in Las Vegas I'm on my own looking forward to a very enjoyable weekend. Sunday I'm not sure what I'm going to do if I'm going to cook or take myself out to breakfast. I'm kind of leaning towards the cooking side since I don't get to cook that much on weekends anymore this might be just right for what I need to Soothe my soul. I purchased a new bag of shredded potatoes this last shopping go around and then a little excited about maybe cooking them up with some spam or something that would be a treat but we shall see…

NEXT !!

 

I don't know what happened, I really don't, but when Independent Living called and asked if I was going to be the Santa this year and I said that I would I took special note of the fact that it was the 19th of December, I think to myself that this is really kind of late for that particular function but that's okay. Somewhere between then and today I got it in my mind that it was the 20th of December so I was really quite surprised this morning when I was relaxing at the beginning of the coffee social and one of the people who used to work at the Independent Living Center told me that or ask me if I was going to the independent living holiday function and was I going to be the Santa today!TODAY!! I did a quick check of my calendar on my cell phone sure enough I even had it written in the calendar that today I was Santa at the Independent Living Center unbelievable it was 9:30 and I had 11:00 has to be when I had to be there. I couldn't quite remember if that was when I was supposed to be there or what I supposed to go on a Santa either way I was flummoxed and moved everything into high gear. I ate my cookies from the coffee social headed down the apartment through one of my warm ponchos on and basically took off to bus stop. The fastest route would be to take the 47 into the Murray station then transfer to the 200 northbound going towards Salt Lake and get off around 3,500 South and travel directly west when I would run into the Independent Living Center.

I did it! I got to the center about 2 minutes after 11:00. I was well within the time that I needed to be there cuz I don't even think I did the Santa thing until like 1 p.m.. the bill Affair this year was spaghetti and salad which they were just putting together as I got there and visited with a lot of the staff as well as the new director and the interim director. It's great to be a rockstar if he wants in a while and even though there was another Santa that was there as part of a play production they were putting on I was the real thing as far as the person to get your picture taken with no short efforts of myself as much as with the Magnificent efforts of my buddy Kim who basically dresses beans puts the beard on and make sure I look fairly presentable lot of Hands-On stuff. It worked I came roaring out of the bathroom where they changed me into Santa yelling merry Christmas as loud as I could right after the last verse of Santa Claus is Coming to Town - - of course. It's a tedious job. They give me a bag of goodies usually cookies of one sort or another or candies or bags of such that I hand out to people as they come in dutifully sit to one side or another and have their picture taken with me. I try to keep the people moving answer a few questions make a few rash Promises of what they'll be getting for Christmas and then send them on their way takes about an hour I think to go through as many people as show up to this function. Most of them are people who are developmentally disabled who really still believe in the beauty and sanctity and magic of Christmas I try to keep that going as well as passing out the treat and sending them on their way next!

Wednesday's wash

 I just finished folding the wash for this week, a few minutes ago, Wednesday has become wash day almost a complete ritual. I even put off my arm bike so that I could wash the clothes luckily I had time afterwards too do my regular hour plus 10 minutes from yesterday's ride that I didn't get to finish so I'm cut up on my 3 hours now 180 minutes. 20 minutes tomorrow and I'll have my 200 minutes in for the week. Speaking of rituals that's another one I've become quite committed to. I have a rather small wash just one washing machine full I don't know what I'd do if I had two but I guess you'd have to have a family for that. So it's usually 6 or seven pairs of shorts seven shirts and whatever towels I tend to wash from week to week. If I sit and think about it before I do them it seems like a very long and arduous task but going through because my Wednesday Focus. It seems like everything else gets put on the back burner on wash day. I don't really commit to any meetings or projects or anything out if it's going to cut into the time I do my washing. I shouldn't be so anal about the whole operation the washing will get done one way or the other and I certainly have clean clothes to wear for over a week I just like to keep a week's washed to a week seven of each. Seven of each makes manageable load for me to carry since I have to get the wash from the dryer into the clothes basket and hefted up onto my lap from the ground level. Fortunately I've worked out a system with Melissa who will take the clothes as soon as she's got me on the toilet, down to the laundry and start the wash and then transfer the wash to the dryers before she leaves. I just have to collect the dryed from there from the laundry to my lap and then to the bedroom where I dump everything on the bed meaning I have to fold it before I can go to bed. Seems to work but that's usually all I get done during the day however I did run to the market this afternoon after I finish my arm bike regimen.

Have I mentioned that I haven't been sleeping that well the last week or so. Part of it might be the bed I am aware of that but there's something else going on too but it'll pass but what's interesting is that someone mentioned today or yesterday that I look tired and all I can do is agree with them that I probably do look tired but actually it's pretty much me these days. It's not that I'm so tired I'm yawning every other word and dozing off in the middle of sentences but I certainly feel less than perky most the time and I'm usually relatively civilized. I don't know how else to be. I would love to be able to get the 7 hours of sleep that person like myself should get but I just can't really do much more than 6 hours and that's a good day usually I'm operating on far less. The best part about being sleepy all the time is that you do look forward to sleeping when the time comes. I have no problems getting to sleep once I'm in bed and settled in for the night. And I when I do wake up feel fully excited to get going on my day. I think I'll be a lot less worried when I get my chair fixed and the bed fixed. My friend Kent thinks he's found a bed that will work for my needs and will be bringing it over the next day or so we'll see what happens. Maybe that's all I need who knows? I'm ready for sleep…