Unhand me evil internet

I finally broke free of a clutch that my tablet had on meFor the last 45 minutes. About 8:00 I rolled into the bedroom to update my blog and as I was getting myself situated getting comfortable to dictate I thought I would just check out one of the icons that had a number of like 15 on it so I just see if there was anything there interesting and of course I immediately get sucked into the black hole of the reels or video shorts but seem to plague the internet these days. I don't know if it's AI or whatever evil plan out there to trap inquiring minds might be but if I don't watch out it can certainly get me pull me down the rabbit hole never let me go until 45 minutes an hour maybe 2 hours later and it's nothing I really want to see it's all stupid stuff. I guess I sound a little immature lashing out at something like the internet over something my weakness is causing me to have bad thoughts about and blame it on the internet when it's my own will that needs to be taking control.

I really suck her for her clips from Seinfeld for instance. They're just so entertaining and then I also really like the survival videos like when they go and find an abandoned cabin or cave or they have to pitch a tent in a rain storm or snow storm. I like to see them harvesting dry wood to use in their fires all night and then I like to see them building the fires and making sure they have enough firewood and they cooking their meals. It's stuff of course I will never be able to do hell I don't even think that's able bonding I would do such a thing but it's interesting to see these guys do it. Another thing, which I think I may have written about before, are the new videos and reels of folks cleaning up other people's yards I mean really clean them up exposing sidewalks that haven't been exposed for decades chopping down trees clipping limbs Deadwood then heaps of grass and they do it for free. I don't necessarily think these are contrived or sort of made up videos but somehow I really don't believe them that they do all this stuff for free. I understand there's some degree other people support their websites that they post these little videos on to begin with and maybe that's true that's how they do it. Similarly there are videos and clips of people with an inordinate amount of money. I mean stacks of money that they're able to go around and give this money away to people on the street in some cases folks who really really need it you can tell. I don't think they're actors. I don't want them to be actors. I want this to be real. It's kind of creepy when you think about how these videos are actually getting as much play time as they do. I think it's a shame that these folks have nothing better to do then too make these videos and probably even a bigger shame that folks like myself spend way too much time leaning on their bed with their tablet and hand watching me silly pieces of video when this should be doing something else if not just sleeping…

What is happening to me!?

 I'm sitting here patiently waiting for my home health person to show up to clean me up after another bowel movement incident! You know I used to have a problem like this every couple years then in the last decade it's got to be once or twice a year and this is after my stenosis. For my stenosis I was strong enough that I could transfer myself from the chair come on my wheelchair, onto the commode do my business and get back again. I've been fortunate over my disabled life to be able to know when I needed to use the restroom or when a bowel movement was imminent. However, with the stenosis and the operation afterwards leaving me so weak that I had to give up pushing my manual chair and go full-time to my power chair and not being able to transfer at all my life took another Dreadful turn. Well not super Dreadful but sad just the same that just another ability I can't do anymore. Even with that however I've only had a couple mishaps but they seem to be coming more and more frequent which kind of frightens me. I know that I talked about this before in one of my other posts about being able to accept the issue of pooping my pants and now being able to write about it but still it's frustrating and limiting as far as what I can do. I guess on the one hand I should be thankful that I can have the resources to call somebody to come and assist me when the issue arises. I even have family members who volunteered but I just assume have caregivers outside of the family as much as I can. Like I said I'm blessed with the ability now too pay for stuff like this when I need it- - I know it will not always be that way. Perhaps I will be able to go to a point where after I've had to get rid of all my finances and go on state assistance and not have to pay for home care with my own resources maybe that'll be a lot less stressful for me. This of course is predicated on the idea that we have a support system in this country that still assists people like myself to be as independent as possible. That might be a thing of the past. And actually it will not be probably an issue for me either because the way things are going now people like myself will be carted off and executed. It's really becoming a bit of a frightening time. Until such time however I plan to keep myself as independent as possible and as much as I can not be a burden to those I love in my life. Case in point I've already canceled tomorrow's Sunday breakfast because I wasn't sure I was going to be able to hold my bowel movement through the night, so I canceled. Now however if I get out of the toilet or whatever before tomorrow morning maybae I can still consider the option we'll have to see…

Iron Man

 I just lost 45 minutes going down a video rabbit hole. I started to write this posting around 8:30 p.m. and for one reason or another I checked my messages and in doing so happened to notice an interesting videos are reels offering, you know something that looks really interesting like red chili peppers and how they make the pepper kind of an interesting video but totally takes away from what I'm trying to do and that kind of hate myself when I'm finished watching it. Each one of those videos seems to lead to another. Sometimes I like to just start watching and then discontinue just to see how strong I am see if I have the ability to do such a thing. I know it's kind of silly but I just like to think I have control over the videos that are rampant out there on the internet. I just can't believe what people watch I noticed it first when all of a sudden I kept seeing these survival type videos of people setting up Emergency Shelters and like snow storms rainstorms or wind storms. Then all the sudden I started seeing these guys walking around with literally hands full of money giving this money away to people on the streets and more likely than not poor people. The most recent that I've noticed is the one where folks go around asking people if they can clean up their yard or dig out their driveways from all the weeds and overgrowth they've had from years and years. A lot of these folks are seniors who have given up on trying to maintain their yards and growth. They of course do it for free and it really is sort of a nice gesture. I just wonder how much of this stuff is really true and how much is that it's just Showmanship or actors going through the deception. I really wonder about this with a guys packing around hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash. But I am a weak vessel and easily sidetracked. However, now at 9:22 p.m. I'm back on track putting down a few thoughts for the blog- - and probably this blog is no better than the videos just slower to get through cuz you have to read and not just watch.

I watched a couple of series today when I finally finished, Wednesday, a bizarre little Netflix series that was questionable at best but I kind of enjoyed it. So when I finished I needed to do something else and I finished my last batch of gruel last night for dinner and felt a bit inspired to perhaps make some more but I would have to have celery at least which means that's a trip to the market. This is okay with me I see this as part of my daily socialization routine to where I'm forced to look halfway presentable travel across the street to the market make some decisions on what to purchase then interact with the checkers. Actually there was a reason I went specifically to the market and that was to purchase a bottle of iron pills. It seems like I'm low in iron the last couple times I've gone to the doctors visits and they've indicated I should be taking some. I tried to do that for a while and then lost interest after I tipped over the bottle and lost most of the pills. Well I'm going to try again to see if I can build my blood back up. It's all kind of freaks me out to say the least. I don't think I'll be getting there until Monday however and live it up until then …

Thursday's thoughts

 I do not know what I've done to my cell phone but yesterday during my minor meltdown and trying to find more space and get my Google account back to normal I did something that is driving me crazy. Now when I try to access my cell phone to go to a certain page or whatever when the cell phone reacts there's a small padlock in the top of the page demanding a password. Just started this morning first time that I could remember seeing it was mid-morning. I didn't know what to do. I guessed at the password and was totally shocked when the cell phone opened up and allowed me to go to the different items I have on the cell phone. However, when I stop doing what I'm doing or I leave the cell phone page for another page then I try to go back early the phone down for one reason or another and pick it up again that padlock is at the top of the page and won't let me do anything until I submit another password. It may have started last night actually when I didn't act quick enough during the day when I was notified that I was out of space on my tablet. I think I've been out of space on the tablet for some time and my Google account that I have the one where it gives you 100 GB of space Storage was not accredited with my $1.25 or how much I pay a month for the space. And again I don't know why all of a sudden my credit card you got dropped off and wasn't functioning I had to reestablish my presence on the platform again with a new credit card. And somewhere I did something I think that's caused me to lock up my cell phone each time I want to use it I have to open up or submit another password, the same password but you know what I mean I have to submit the password. Is that too weird or what? Anyway, I'm more happier note I was getting ready for the coffee group this morning and I found the glasses I couldn't locate yesterday which caused me to start that giant search for another pair of glasses. That was good because the repaired glasses the lens popped out and that means I can't use them so luckily I've got the backup glasses I lost and I can use those until the new pair I got yesterday comes in. That's a good thing? I think the only option I have open to me now is to maybe snag mark this weekend to see if he can figure out what I did to lock myself out of the cell phone. I just hate passwords and I'm still astounded that the password I sort of put together worked.

Do you remember earlier this summer I was impressed with myself that I was able to open up the sliding window next to my bed? Was now fall and the evenings are getting cooler. When I go to bed it was actually cold the last couple of nights. Once I finished reading turned off the lights to go to sleep it was quite cold luckily I had my third pillow that I could put over my head and wander off into sleep with my second pillow, my clutcher, firmly clutched allowing me to wander off into sleepy land. It actually kept me asleep until 6:00 a.m. that hardly ever happens. I guess I'm just plain lucky right now, use the luck while I've got it that's all I can say ….

Z q

Good vision: a financial assault

 

This was my vision after the optometrist put the drops in my eyes to make them big

I just finished and hellacious hour trying to figure out how to get my Google account back online so I could write tonight's blog. I thought I had it all taken care of but somehow I guess the payment didn't go into the account just right so I've been trying to go alone and try to update the payment process which finally it did. Hopefully I have it online now it'll just do it itself every month. It is so frustrating working with all of this stuff.

Anyway, somehow last night and I don't know how I did this but I've misplaced my glasses. I know I had them at a certain point in time yesterday but all the sudden this morning we couldn't find them. I looked over and over again this morning after Melissa left trying to find the glasses cuz I needed to go and do things- - it was a beautiful day. What I eventually ended up doing however was going up to Walmart with an old pair of glasses that I've had trouble getting fixed over the last couple years. Somehow when I rolled over the glasses at some point in time I've been the frame so bad that the regular folks couldn't figure it out how to fix it. So I figured I would just go up and order a new pair of glasses, with the hope they would fix the broken pair. Trying to get the people at the front desk to help out on something like this is right up there pulling teeth. First they tried to fix glasses and they couldn't and then they said it can't be done. I told them I wanted to have an eye exam and order a new pair of glasses then they started that process which was pretty weird but eventually I got to see the optometrist who's a pretty nice guy. I got a pretty good conversation going and it was a bit of a challenge because all of these testing modules are set up for people who are able-bodied and so anytime a wheelchair goes in for testing they go off ballistic. Eventually however we got the job done. The interesting and best part however was once the optometrist got involved in looking at my broken glasses and taking the challenge and trying to get them fixed it was a whole new ball game. He worked hard and eventually pulled the frames together screwed them pretty tightly and had the lenses locked in tight as well. He's assured me that it won't last very long and hopefully my new lenses and glasses will be here in 10 to 15 days. It cost me 225 but I guess that's the price of doing business and seeing well…

Everyone dies

Craggy faced Robert Redford died today. It's not like I was one of his major fans but I guess kind of deep down I was but perhaps even more than that is that he's a touchstone of my past, he always seemed to be around after a certain point. His movies are classics and he just showed up every once in awhile which I thought was cool. He also joins a host of individuals from my life and past that are all dying- - everyone's dying. Somehow I thought a lot of these icons like Robert Redford would last forever. I know there's human and they're going to perish and die in fact the image they posted of him being 89 shows a man who's pretty well thrashed and that's all right he's earned that. But what really Spooks me as each one of these folks that die brings it closer to the reality that I'm getting ready to die no I'm not being suicidal just being a bit more realistic than I like to be. 

You know I don't know which is worse to live along life and have it dwindle to an end meaning that you're going to dwindle with it and little bit by little bit you're going to lose your ability to do stuff. This kind of scares me to death since I live by myself With a Little Help from My Home Health people. I suppose I'll have to have more and more assistance as I age and dwindle down in abilities. Or I could go out any day as I go about my regular life crossing streets and riding buses. I've noticed lately but I've had a number of close calls when crossing streets people not watching to see if anybody's in the intersection. Sometimes I think I can almost feel the crunch when that car that I don't see who doesn't see me rolls right over me. That's an example of somebody taking me out quickly and maybe I'm done with everything I suppose. The bright side if there is a bright side of something like this is that at least I won't have to degradate myself into submission of total assistance and of possibly going into long-term care. That seems to be a bad thing at least that's what I hear and everyone seems to fight against it and talk about it as if it's the worst thing in the world that can happen to a person. And I suppose there are those facilities that are are bad I just hope I don't inherit one of those when it's time. Every morning when I get up and I transfer from my bed to the chair I am amazed that I've gone through another night unassisted. That excites me enough to get through the rest of the day even on those days when my home health person shows up to help me with my shower and pooping. These are not pleasant things to address but it's just an example of I wouldn't have addressed these 10 years ago I would have been humiliated trying to explain about movement that was unexpected now it's just another thing that happens at this stage of life and it's acceptable somehow I think that's all kind of weird but it's acceptable

Q

Temu

 

Have you seen that weird website called Temu. As I understand it this website is Chinese in origin and they have all these items to purchase very cheap in some cases at no cost at all. In fact I just ordered two items two hats supposedly for free! I mean they have a lot of other stuff that is almost free. It's one of those things where it seems like it's too good to be true and you know what they say about if it's too good to be true then it's probably not. But I've talked to a couple of other people who actually have ordered stuff off of this website and they got exactly what they said they were going to get. Well I didn't pay for these items that I ordered and we'll see if they get here. If they do I'm relatively excited because one is this real great looking winter hat that would be perfect for rolling around in the cold weather we have here. The other is a hat as well, probably good for winter weather but this second hat is not as buff as the one I'm hoping comes. Actually I would have even paid a little bit of real money for this particular product. This website also has a lot of stuff that I'm kind of interested in like fishing leaders that I use for zipper pulls. The website also had items like eyeglass repair kits. Little organized units of tools and items needed to repair glasses everything from the little bitty screwdrivers and screws used to screw the temple onto the glass frames to nose piece replacement items and even some kind of mechanisms that supposedly cleans up scratched lenses. I think if I get my hats that I've”ordered” I'll order one of these eyeglass repair kits. I think the biggest thing I need to be concerned about with this particular site is that it I could really get addicted to all these little bitty Treasures. This is truly one of those sites that offers everything you don't need but, you'd like to have.

Today is one of those perfect Autumn days, not very hot not very cold just right I really should have gone out and done something but I couldn't muster the energy or the interest. I shouldn't waste these beautiful days because there's going to be a lot of cold ones coming in the near future. But I do enjoy just hanging out at the apartment watching a couple movies if they're available or working down a series not quite binging I try to watch like two episodes at a time. I sort of become preoccupied with my puzzles/ actually just one word puzzle family were jumbles. These are basically 8 or 10 words all the letters are jumbled and you have to guess what the letters are to Spill the words correctly. Thank goodness the answers are in the back but I've noticed I've gotten better at doing the actual jumbles or solving the 8 to 10 words. I still use the answer page way too much but it's okay I'm not in the contest with anybody just myself. The only trouble I'm having is that I think I'm at the end of the magazines that are published. I have 2/3 of the puzzle book I'm currently working on and one more volume I have waiting to be challenged. If I'm lucky I'll be able to stretch this out till the first of the year if I do just a couple of the work sets a day. I don't know how often they published new collections but we'll see...

Buckle up!

 With more than a little embarrassment I have to admit that I did not know for Istanbul was located on the map, I didn't know where Istanbul or what country Istanbul is in! I would fail a geography test probably a simple geography test if one were administered to me at this point in my life. I don't think I was ever very good at geography I didn't really understand the course or why we needed to know all the different places in geography class. Now I think I have a better concept of why people need to study things like geography more than I used to. This morning was Sunday morning of course that means getting the family together for breakfast at our local restaurant. Today's Breakfast would be a coming home breakfast for mark Anthony who came back from his journeys two days ago. That's so cool he's been gone for about 3 weeks traveling all over Europe or parts of Europe anyway. I think I have talked about this briefly in other posts about him making friends over the internet from Russia and other places in Europe and he just wanted to go meet them in person and  Mark did. He spent time in Istanbul, London even Greece. He almost went to Egypt which I think would have been totally cool if he could have seen the pyramids. I would have loved to have seen them in this life. He had a couple travel companions as I said so he wasn't alone but I think he was safe and wise has he traveled these areas. I think he now has gotten bit by this travel bug. I don't know how much more traveling he's going to do. I don't know how much he can do and then your future but he's talking about his next country to visit will be Japan. He has a brother living in Japan so he's got a place to stay or at least a point from which to venture out from and I have to worry about pesky hotel prices and hotel living and all that kind of stuff. I don't know how soon he would do such an adventure but certainly he has enough experiences now to keep him going for I think a significant amount of time. I'm sure we will be listening to these Adventures for some time now at our Sunday morning breakfasts. Interesting to note that he's even thinking of trying to develop some kind of Escape Plan if he has to leave the us or just can't tolerate living under the almost totalitarian thumbprint of the local Administration. We did not directly talk about the current political tragedy that happened over at the local University in Utah County this last week. However, the subject matter is very close at hand and we weren't really sure how to go about tapping into that stuff to talk about. I'm sure we will be visiting the topic and subject matter in the next couple of weeks as this works its way through to conclusion of what happens to the perpetrator of the assassination, his family and whatever support network he's able to drum up and there seems to be some sort of a Groundswell that will probably support him. But this also a great deal of folks that are not happy that's what he did. I'm kind of surprised that this is really being treated as significantly as it is. They are equating this assassination with that of JFK's and his brother RFK. I just don't think it's the same at all. It's really kind of hard to believe that dinky little Utah is the focal point for this National if not international incident. The magnifying glass is focusing on our state now for the next however long it will be in the news. But a Stephen King says it's time to buckle up for a rough ride..

Saturday salute

 I'm always startled by how quickly dusk comes in the fall. Even though I know the changes happen in that 6:00 goes to seven it just seems that now it just gets dark so quick it blows me away. It's been a good day Sunshine wise the day could have been a little warmer but luckily I was smart enough to wear my long sleeve shirt today. Yesterday I wore a short sleeve shirt and was sorry all day long. I should have changed but I just figured painting was too much work it would make an extra piece of laundry to consider as well come Wednesday. I broke my routine this Saturday as well. I didn't go over to coffee at the coffee shop next door. No particular reason except I just didn't want to sit by myself again for however long I go when I go. I don't think I'm going to radically change my coffee shop attendance but I think I'll scale back until I can find another coffee partner. If I was better skilled in social skills perhaps things would be different but I am what I am. I used to think I was this great social guy but you know I don't think I really ever was. I think I'm terribly shy even though that's hard to believe. So I stayed home listen to NPR messed around the kitchen and the other apartment places. I did some puzzles from my word book and went across the street to primarily get a thermometer but I picked up some grapes as well. I needed a thermometer because during the night I woke and thought sure I had a bladder infection. I don't know if I'm just becoming more and more hypercondriacle but I thought perhaps some of the symptoms I was having was that of a bladder infection. So I figured I would have a fever if I had an infection but when I got up and looked around the bathroom I couldn't find my thermometer anywhere. This was a good enough reason to Sandy to go to the market to find another- - which I did. Luckily I did not have a fever which I think means I don't have a bladder infection at least not significant to the point that it's causing me to have a fever. I just think I make these boogies up during the night when I have too much time to think that's dangerous.

The rest of the day I spent goofing around the apartment and heading out to the patio where I spent time reading. I think I like this new book I'm reading the one by Bill Clinton has another writer who I sort of have a hard time with his writing style. James Patterson is the guy's name and I've read a number of his volumes. He writes very short chapters almost punchy if that makes any sense. It makes for a fast read which I appreciate it just seems weird to have all these one and two page chapters. I think the book would still be as long regardless I just don't understand his writing style. I got this book primarily to see how Bill Clinton writes. You never know how much the person is riding when they team up with a rather proliferous writer such as Patterson. How much of the book is Clinton and how much is Patterson. I'd like to believe that Clinton did most of the writing but I sorry I don't really believe that. The clouds came in high clouds just enough to block the Sun and it really wasn't that warm to begin with so I folded the book and came back to the apartment to enjoy my large screen and do a little bit more binging on Netflix…

Canner!

 

 I believe the regular reader or even the occasional breeder probably has felt my prejudiced towards artificial intelligence or AI. I'm just having a hard time dealing with artificial intelligence after all the movies I've seen where the AIS go weirdo crazy and take over the world one way or the other. And I've talked about my Prejudice towards AIS that try to get me to interact with them on the Internet one way or the other. I just don't want to have anything to do with them now having said that, I have to confess that I'm beginning to build a little bit of excitement at the prospect of someday soon being able to purchase a robot that can Aid me in my attempts to be as independent as possible for as long as possible. I know this is a weird sounding concept but it's really a possibility I believe especially as I keep seeing these videos Almost from everywhere now on the internet about the possibilities or what or what these robots are able to do. Now I don't know if you were to get or if I were to get a robot do they come with artificial intelligence? Could you get one that's artificially dumb that is will take Direction but not do anything on its own? One of the most worrisome things I face is what happens to me when I fall out of my chair or my bed especially during the transfer maneuver. I also have some issues about dressing myself independently. As it is now I can do about 95% of my dressing just a few little things like pulling the shorts up over my hips and sometimes getting my shoes on. I don't know if a robot would be able to do this at this point in time but what I'm seeing them do in some of the the videos is that they could actually assist. If I were to fall out of my chair could I get a robot to pick me up and put me back onto the bed or back to the chair. Or could I have a robot shower me in toilet me much as I do my caregivers now? These are really interesting questions that I'm thinking about and hoping might become a reality at some point in time in the near future. I'm reticent to bring this up with any of my professional caregiver types you know PT's Otis and see what they would say to such a question. I wonder if the occupational therapist OT would be the most open to something like this? Would you see this is a threat to my Independence or an extension of my ability to be independent and take care of myself even with the robot. From what it looks like on the internet I don't think the robots are not going to come. They are definitely out there amassing or we are amassing large groups of robots and I'm not really quite sure why right now .

Rice is nice

I've been craving white rice and soy sauce for a couple weeks now. A week ago I got a reprieve when Tim fixed the dish for me that had quite a bit of white rice with it. I enjoyed it immensely to the point that I started looking around my pantry to see if I had any bags of white rice left. Fortunately, I did. One of the benefits of people who empty their food boxes once they get them is that many of them don't want their white rice and bags and bags of end up on the giveaway table. Sometime along the line I've grabbed one and stuck it in my pantry. I still don't think I'm a very good white rice maker- - a rice maker in general as far as that goes. I have not been trying enough lately either that's got to change. So tonight with the new found bag of white rice I started the process. I do not have a definitive answer about what do you do or can you use the white water that results when you rinse your rice before cooking. Is it okay to use it or do you try to wash as much white substance off the rice as possible Ben what is it possible usable. These are all questions I do not have an answer to so I've gone with the solution of bathe the rice once pour off the white Water bathe it again and pour off that water then dump it into the saucepan to boil and let stand on that poof up into nice lumps of rice.

Well like I said earlier today I got the notion that I wanted to do some real cooking to make something I be able to eat for a day or so of course that's Frank basically rice and vegetables and whatever meat product I have on hand and I still have most of the chicken that I got from the market over the weekend. I've used a little bit of it so far when the leg of the chicken but I liberated a whole breast which I'll use this my meat base. I needed celery and something else green if I could find it and at least another onion so off to the market I went. 18 popsicles two stickers, two onions and a number of pieces of celery. I found that buying the celery already chopped up in the Sticks and just buying three or four of them at a time is a lot cheaper and a lot less wasteful than when I buy a hole stock of celery used one or two pieces and the rest goes into limp status in the vegetable crisper her limper however you want to call it. I did the rice covered it so it would absorb the moisture went to work on the vegetables chop chop same with the chicken breast Chop Chop slice slice and I had enough mixed with the vegetables cuz I got them softened up for the rice. I had a bunch of baby carrots I was going to use for a project a month or so ago and they've been in the refrigerator and I was pleased to see that they were still viable so I threw those in the mix after I got the vegetables soft to appoint it I added the rice mixed it up really well then covered for a 30 to 45 minutes on simmer to finish cooking the whole mess. The Frank came out okay. I always forget to use the chicken bouillon that you're supposed to use with the water that you cook the rice in that would give it a richer chicken flavor but as happy with the way it turned out. I actually had two smallish bowls for dinner and I felt accomplished and practical totally enjoyed a meal I made for myself, I've missed that…

Just.. pooped

 I will be the first to admit that sleeping on who is a bit challenging but I was so tired by the time it was bedtime I just wanted to get some sleep. I figured the easiest way was to use pads and I have a bunch that I don't really use for my main mattress protection but the pads are really good for cleaning up messes especially poo misses as well as some protection. So wrapped myself up pretty good and used one of the pads to cover the mattress are the sheet and that was okay. Mercifully The the bottom sheet and the top sheet took the major hit. I was totally surprised at how well I slept swallowing the basic bedding down. Interestingly I woke up after I thought was hours and hours and it was 1:15 a.m. I think I've been asleep less than an hour. I was even more surprised when I turned over and went back to sleep and woke up again around 5:00 a.m. I had gotten some pretty decent sleep and no problems. I was so pleased to be back to my old self when Melissa was done with me but I just hung around the apartment except for a short joint over to the market and enjoyed my living space. I really am quite thankful to be where I'm at at this point in my life. Now if I could just stay poop  free for the relatively near future I'll be happy as a clam. 

Wow! I literally just fell asleep sitting here next to the bed. It's not even 9:30 p.m. but I guess I'm still pretty tired from the lack of sleep last night even though it sounded like I did okay. So this is going to be another short one I suppose. I hope I'm back to normal..

 

All pooped out

 Today has not necessarily been good but then again it is not necessarily been bad either. During the night I pooped the bed- - again!? What is going on with me? I don't think I had diarrhea or sick like that but I did what I did there's no question about it. This morning about 3:00 a.m. I woke up having to pee badly- - I try to hold off as long as I can but I figured I was going to have to use my bag so I did so but then realized the back of my hand was covered with poo I couldn't believe it. I am usually totally aware of any time I have an accident like this but not last night. It must have just happened but it shouldn't have because yesterday's bowel movement was pretty significant. I thought I had pretty well evacuated the bow this morning or yesterday morning. I thought sure I was good for at least one night and day. Luckily I had a bunch of pads next to my bed that I keep there for situations like this so that I can isolate the issue at least maybe get back to sleep or something. I kind of dozed off and on I even sent a text to my caregiver. She did not get back to me till much later in the morning. I wasn't sure what I wanted I didn't know if I wanted her to come over and clean me up this morning or just what. Then I got to thinking I'm not going to see her again until Wednesday morning tomorrow. If I could isolate the poo and then get myself up and get myself somewhat cleaned up I could just hang out at the apartment all day. I was supposed to go to assist this morning for my regular meeting but I was no way going to be able to do that. Didn't want to necessarily spend the money for Melissa to come out and do a special clean up on me so I decided to wait it out. Must find the contact me indicating that she would not be able to make it over till 3:00 in the afternoon that's what I really made the decision that my then wouldn't make much difference. So eventually got myself up and luckily I wasn't too messed up so I eventually got dressed and pretty much hung out the rest of the day. I'm just hoping that I'll be able to get through tonight without any more issues maybe get myself back on schedule tomorrow at some point especially after my regular meeting with Melissa for my shower and my regular bowel movement. Hope I'm not going through a major change...

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Exhaustive Monday

 I'm not sure if this entry tonight will make much sense. I'm kind of exhausted it's not that it's been that busy of a day it's just that I've been up quite a while waking up this morning around 3:15 a.m. and not really getting back to sleep. I went to a movie today I guess you would call it a musical. The film was called Hamilton which is fairly famous piece of work. I've heard so much about this thing and I wasn't sure if I would be able to really sit through the whole thing. I enjoyed the film it was sometimes a little hard to follow but kind of interesting. I don't know if I could sit through the whole thing again but I might try to go maybe again I think it might be on Netflix as well or soon will be on one of the platforms anyway. I was amazed at how a little bit I knew or know about it American history. I should be embarrassed I probably am a little bit but the film was good. I would recommend it.

I went to an 11:00 a.m. showing of the film. Like I've said before I like to get my viewing done early in the day if I can believe in me the rest of the day too goof off, read, sleep maybe even do something productive. True as well I was the only person in the theater I never get used to that and I really quite enjoy the experience. I didn't have any issue at all literally singing an along with the on stage actors. Not that I knew the lyrics but I could figure some of them out before they were sung particularly catchy choruses that were repeated over and over again. I could literally yell / sing my lungs out and nobody would hear me out in the audience because I'm the only one there. Singing out like that was kind of fun I wish that there had been captions running under the screen. The piece is long very long. It says 3 hours I do not believe the film was 3 hours long but it was probably close. I was led into the auditorium about 11:00 and didn't get out until 2:00 something in the afternoon. You got to figure out at least 30 minutes waiting for the motion picture to start. But the film did feel long no question about it. Well I can see I'm not making much sense and I'm just so rattling on so I will close for tonight maybe post something better tomorrow.

Lucky Sunday

 

I really am a lucky guy in a lot of ways it's amazing it's a good luck that I have from time to time. Today was one of those kind of days that my luck kind of showed through. My son mark is still in Europe and the three of us, usually have breakfast together that's mark, his daughter Jasmine her boyfriend Jackson and myself have Sunday breakfast together. I was pleased when Jasmine and I made contact last night indicating Jackson was feeling ill and probably would not join us for breakfast particularly since he was worried that I would be in Jeopardy of getting ill myself but Jasmine was still still up having breakfast at the usual time 8:00 a.m. this morning. It's a bit early but it gets us up out the door and ready for our Sunday. So I was just Jasmine and myself and that was enough. We had a great breakfast we had great conversation. Like I said I'm so lucky to have an intelligent granddaughter with whom I can have very mature conversations and truly enjoy each other's company. To make the morning even better was that Jasmine came back to the apartment with me to help cut up my watermelon. However as she was there she also swept up my floors straightened up my table and made my place totally attractive.

Jasmine went on our way once the apartment was put up ship shape. I was truly thankful. The day was okay the rain had moved on however it was cooler than I would have liked it to have been. The Autumn winds are really be getting to move into the area. It was nice enough however that I was able to go out and finish reading the Stephen King I've been laboring on for the last 6 weeks. It was a good read and I've now put it away for a couple more years maybe I'll get a chance to read it again for it's time for me to head down that long road. However as I was reading Tim, a little Asian lady that lives in my complex came out to the barbecue area, a covered deck, and presented me with a complete chicken dinner with boiled potatoes, white rice a quarter of a chicken at least as well as fresh slices of watermelon. It was wonderful totally enjoyed the gift. I brought it home and stuck it in the refrigerator and got on with the rest of my day. I was still pretty full from breakfast. This evening I figured I'd better eat something before going to bed so I dug out the chicken dinner after I'd finished watching a movie on Netflix. It was a cold dinner- I could have warmed it up- but I chose not to- - choosing to eat the chicken which I caught up in the fork fulls white rice and the boil potatoes. There are four Small Potatoes boiled I chose to eat too with a couple spoonfuls of rice and half of the chicken. The best part is that I still have half of that dinner left that will be able to use tomorrow. So I'm not lucky guy. A great granddaughter and a great friend who makes great meals…

Cold and wet

I don't know what I was thinking. I saw the clouds and I saw the scanty weather reports about possibly maybe showers off and on today. I also know that almost everything they said this week about possible showers or whatever has been somewhat off Target. I really need is to get to the market to get some decent grapes and refrigerator get me over the weekend. The Grapes I thought were the best we're over at the Walmart just up the street from me but I use a bus to get to that Walmart, even though I can roll it it's just better on the bus. I should have gone earlier in the morning or earlier in the day. The sky was dark and overcast with patches of blue it here and there a couple sprinkles down there but nothing significant. I've gotten up early enough to get over to the coffee and got some coffee and listen to a couple of the people at the different tables I was sitting close to my usual Saturday routine. Basically to get me out of the apartment and make me feel like I've done something as well as some week efforts at socialization- I'm just going through the motions. But I came back to the apartment with enough coffee to get me through the weekend as well as to hang out for a while. I thought about even going to a movie again but I just couldn't put myself through that even if it was to get the grapes. I even finished watching the movie I started watching last night and felt myself getting more and more sleepy and realized that if I was going to get over to the market before Sunday I'd better get hauling ass. I had Mike To Go Kids on the chair but I was so in a hurry to leave that I forgot my hook which I never do that's that's quite shocked. I was even more shocked when I got to the market got the items a baby watermelon, the number 10 can of whole jalapenos a bag of grapes. Remember this wasn't tall Market just down the street this was up at Walmart quite a ways away from the apartment I was going to have to wait for the bus. Just as I was leaving the market I knew it was going to be this way, it seems like the dark clouds opened up and Rain came down and caught me in the middle of the downpour. There's no place to hide I don't know what I was thinking. I saw the clouds and I saw the scanty weather reports about possibly maybe showers off and on today. I also know that almost everything they said this week about possible showers or whatever has been somewhat off Target. I really need is to get to the market to get some decent grapes and refrigerator get me over the weekend. The Grapes I thought were the best we're over at the Walmart just up the street from me but I use a bus to get to that Walmart, even though I can roll it it's just better on the bus. I should have gone earlier in the morning or earlier in the day. The sky was dark and overcast with patches of blue it here and there a couple sprinkles down there but nothing significant. I've gotten up early enough to get over to the coffee and got some coffee and listen to a couple of the people at the different tables I was sitting close to my usual Saturday routine. Basically to get me out of the apartment and make me feel like I've done something as well as some weak efforts at socialization- I'm just going through the motions. But I came back to the apartment with enough coffee to get me through the weekend as well as to hang out for a while. I thought about even going to a movie again but I just couldn't put myself through that even if it was to get the grapes. I even finished watching the movie I started watching last night and felt myself getting more and more sleepy and realized that if I was going to get over to the market before Sunday I'd better get hauling ass. I had Mike To Go Kids on the chair but I was so in a hurry to leave that I forgot my hook which I never do that's that's quite shocked. I was even more shocked when I got to the market got the items a baby watermelon, the number 10 can of whole jalapenos a bag of grapes. Remember this wasn't the; Market just down the street this was up at Walmart quite a ways away from the apartment I was going to have to wait for the bus. Just as I was leaving the market I knew it was going to be this way, it seems like the dark clouds opened up and Rain came down and caught me in the middle of the downpour. There's no place to hide from the rain except for a couple little trees by the bus stop that kind of prevent the raindrops from coming through but the rain was so heavy that that didn't last very long. Needless to say by the time the bus got there I was drenched. I got home and just kind of warmed up as much as I could trying to shake the water off download the supplies I'm told in for the evening. By the time I got home the storm had passed the clouds were beginning to break up since the sunshine was there here and there. I wasn't really freezing but I wasn't comfortable being totally drenched. I wasn't comfortable for the rest of the night finally taking my wet shirt off about an hour before I started getting ready for bed my shorts are still pretty wet but I'll be out of them shortly it was just a long and wet day

With a little bit of luck

This turned out to be a pretty damn big day all things considered than what I thought when it started out. I knew there would be some wait time just because I get up early and gets here quite a bit later than after I get up. I'm busy myself with making coffee, doing word puzzles and maybe even snagging a breakfast item here and there from the refrigerator. Many times I'll have a couple big spoonfuls from my concoction just to get the old body humming again. The peppers in the concoction certainly help with that aspect. Following my visit from my caregiver I did a couple puzzles and finally wrestled up a little bit of breakfast like phenomenon which is a frozen burrito sliced up at the bite-sized bits cqovered with shredded cheese baked for 35 seconds checked then covered with more cheese and cooked / baked/ microwaved another 35 seconds to a minute getting the ingredients melded together and brought to my complete Focus. I was killing time actually till 12:15 when I would take in a movie that I've been thinking about at that time then I get a call from an old friend of mine fellow I used to work with indicating that he's coming to town and does he want to go to lunch. Of course I want to have lunch with my buddy Dave and we scheduled to meet up around 1:30 when he was able to get into town he called me from Pocatello as he was leaving the state of Idaho.

As I was contemplating where to have lunch when David gets here from Idaho I remembered Idaho they have the lottery going on in Idaho part of the one billion possibility. I called him back and asked him to pick up a couple of tickets before I left the state but she informed me that he would and thanks me cuz he didn't think of it. It's been a rationalization because there's probably no chance in hell that we're going to win if we don't buy tickets there is no chance in hell- no there's a very little chance in hell so who knows. He was pretty close to being on time when he got here we went across the street from where I live to have lunch at mokey's Hawaiian restaurant which means they basically serve rice and some sort of meat on top of it with the slice of pineapple in the corner but their food is really good I really really enjoy it and Dave seem to enjoy it too. We had a great lunch and a great conversation and a great chance to catch up. We've always enjoyed each other's company even when he was my boss. We've always stuck together and watched each others back. As we visited things got kind of grim as we talked about where we were at in our lives. David's a bit younger than I am but had some major health conflicts along the way so his overall health though looking really good he's pretty hammered he could go at any time his doctor tells him. I'm just old with a significant disability which means I'm probably danger of poofing out at any given time too. I figured any given point he could die, with my friend David could die, or I could die neither one of us would ever know that the other had passed. I probably would start scouting the newspapers obituaries if I couldn't get a hold of David I assume David do the same with me if I even had an obituary. I keep thinking I'm going to write one for when the kids to use if they want to do an obituary on the old guy but that hasn't been done yet. We assume eventually we would find out that the other one passed but that's not today. I haven't heard if he made it to the Nevada border I believe it Mesquite where he's planning on spending the night before it goes on into California then Mexico is home and he's pretty excited about getting home he's been on the road for some time..

 

Early movie - - Senior Secret

 I was so proud of myself this morning for going to Coffee social and actually being social that I took myself to the movies later on that morning. I really have enjoyed this whole movie thing especially the concept of doing early movies. Perhaps this is a senior thing you know going out and doing stuff early in the day and getting it out of the way yet enjoying what you did but still be home for bedtime at an early hour should that be what you want to do. I kind of hate thinking this way but sometimes I think one must be transparent for themselves. Anyway, I enjoy going to a movie that starts at 11:15 or at least the doors open and they seat people at 11:15 even the movie won't start until 30 minutes later it seems. Fortunately they have enough stuff to fill the time until the movie begins and it's usually pretty decent material whether it's previews or short little exercises or games of trivia and sort with other movies. I kind of like that.

I went to a real adult film today- - not adult as in pornography adult but adult as in mature , as in old people stuff. The movies called the Roses and it's essentially a remake of War of the Roses I think is named the movie which is very English relatively sophisticated I went primarily because the guy who played Dr Strange, cumberbach ( I know that's not how you spell his name from too lazy to look it up right now and if you're really interested go to the Doctor Strange and then you'll see the proper spelling starred in this movie he and his wife battling out on screen to a really interesting ending. I would recommend this movie to anybody who has any romantic bones left in their bodies. I think the film was so good that if I can Garner up the patients I will watch it again there was a lot of interesting dialogue that I don't think I got entirely. The second viewing might help. I'm always amazed at how much stuff I pick up on the second, third fourth viewing of a movie. I'm kind of excited the movie house that I go to is actually playing a lot of vintage movies- - you know just reruns of 50-year-old classics that might be fun and since I get in for free are the illusion of free since I paid 20 bucks a month for all the movies I can watch why the hell not. They're showing doctor Strangelove for example as well as Back to the Future and other new old classics. I say new just because they seem still new to me relevant in my time window. When I think of them being 50 years old it kind of frightens me that that many years have passed even the movies that are 40 years old seems like it was just yesterday that I went to the movies and was impressed. Might be something entertaining to do over the month of September…

Another Wednesday wash day

I was supposed to travel up to Logan today for a meeting. I went to the meeting but I zoomed in and that was probably good enough. I wish it had been a little bit different as far as not causing my friend so much stress and trying to figure out how to get me up to Logan. It would have been him and two other folks and we will have taken the state van up to the college up there for the meeting. It would have taken a good for maybe 5 hours to complete this project. Truth be told I'm kind of glad I didn't go that's just so much time out of my day in fact just hanging around waiting for the meeting and zooming in on the meeting pretty much took my day. I suppose I could have done something else had I really really wanted to but as it is I think I did okay. I was able to get my clothes washed as well as do my arm bike for 60 minutes. Both of these things also takes up a good portion of my day. You know like in washing clothes you want to make sure that you move the clothes through the systems fast as you can cuz other people might be wanting to use the appliances. It was a pretty quiet day in the laundry so I wasn't too concerned about somebody not being able to wash clothes or dry them because of me. There was enough auxiliary machines that could have covered any other folks who were wanting to do their laundry today so I didn't feel too guilty. Tomorrow I just have one commitment which I have in the morning and that's the coffee group. I don't really have to go to that function but I think they kind of expect me to and I keep going with the hope that somebody will turn into a real social function. As it is I'm still the only male who attends dysfunction and I try to involve myself in conversations as much as I can it's kind of a lost cause. I like to have something on Thursday morning though to get me up and get me going. The coffee group starts at 9:30 a.m. and usually ends by 10:00 or 10:15 it seems sometimes longer but rarely more than 30 minutes. I need to visit with some folks here at the facility about the food box program other than that I should be a free man for the rest of the day. I think I need to make haste and go somewhere do something because I think the weather might turn more wet in the next couple days. There's a couple movies I might enjoy and I haven't been to any yet this month so I guess it's time.

Making minutes count

I was kind of surprised this morning when I woke up and daylight was coming through my window! Then I looked at the clock and it was after 7:00 a.m. I slept nearly 7 hours. I never do that. I felt a little more perky than usual but not super refreshed but a little more focused than usual. I don't know what to think or why this happened maybe it just happens naturally every once in awhile the person gets lucky and masses a bunch of sleep.  I'm not going to expect the same thing tonight- - though it would be very nice I'll just have to accept whatever I can pull in.

I still have not been able to locate the counter checks I got a few weeks ago. Remember, where I live you've got to pay your rent with a check. Counter checks come forward to a page and they usually give me two pages but I request counter checks. Somehow those will disappeared and today is the first day after the holiday which means rent is due. So my main focus this morning was to get dressed and get ready and get on the bus over to the credit union to get it another check to pay the rent. The days are hot still and that's good by me but makes traveling a little difficult but it was still mid morning the temperature had not climbed to as high as yet. I made the trip over to their Union got one page of checks and requested the regular checks that people usually get. I was promised this a couple years ago which never came about and I never really pushed the issue. I ordered the checks again today we'll see what happens I'll certainly free up me having to go get counter checks every couple months. I got back to the apartment and still had a couple of hours to kill before it was time to meet my friends- - The Writers Guild for a late lunch.

Lori had set the lunch up for 2:00 p.m. at a little restaurant not far from my apartment. I got there a little early and saw that they close at 2:30 p.m. was a little freaked out but I figured we'd figure out something. They finally showed up Jerry had driven Lori over to the restaurant it was great to see both of them. They took the closing time and stride talk the server into making sure we have enough time to enjoy your lunch and communicate. It was a great lunch and they stayed quite a while after the restaurant was supposed to close. There is a ice cream type shop right next to this place which we adjourned to after we finally cleared the restaurant that just closed. I had an ice cream sundae a long time since I did that and it was great ice cream. It was hard ice cream. I think everyone had a great time and everyone enjoyed each other's company. I was pleasantly surprised that my friend Jerry looked as good as he did. I thought he'd be a lot more under the weather but both he and Lori look great they're kind of a cute couple - - but they're not a couple they just resemble one sometimes. Ice cream is all eaten and it was time to go it was sad for me to see him go. I'm looking forward to our next get together I'm not sure when that'll be hopefully not too far away, TimeWise. Sometimes I think we have to make everything count ... 

 

Monday's labors

 I don't know why but my internal clock is set at 5:00 a.m. or the around that area. But I was thankful to get almost 5 hours of sleep it's been quite scanty the last couple of nights that have been quite sleepy during the days. Today was not half bad though getting out of bed and turn on the coffee and getting things ready for Melissa. Today's the national holiday which does it mean a whole lot as far as lissy goes. She got in about 8:00 and we got busy. What's the big deal since I don't have anything really to do today. I did word puzzles in the morning then went over to the market picked up some milk at the dollar store and a couple cans of peppers at the big Market. Then it was back to the apartment to work on the arm bike for an hour. Actually I think I went to the market after the arm bike. I thought about doing some reading but I never got around to it. I didn't do any Marvel until later in the day. The days continue to be hot which is good for me. Very little Monsoon activity though they're beginning to promise some more for the coming weekend but we shall see on that. I am totally enjoying the apartment being somewhat cleaned by Jackson. I almost did some real cooking this afternoon but lost my Steam. I wouldn't mind putting some bread together or maybe some cornbread would be good as well. That would certainly take a hit to the kitchen well I guess I would survive. Doing some enjoyment of my concoction that I put together this weekend. I'd really missed this I'm glad to have another part of it ready to go. My bowel movements are changing again but you're sort of distressing. They're forming again into somewhat larger pieces compared to what they have been the last couple weeks just a huge mass. Nothing bad to speak of and I don't know which of the two are most normal or more normal that's what they should be. I kind of think the new feces look is me not using the concoction as much as I have or perhaps more cheese than I'm used to using but that's not true really it's about the same amount of cheese. I am doing the cheese burrito covered with jalapenos and Chinese noodles and chips if I have them. It could have something to do with that as well. I am just confused. No blood or anything like that which is a good sign. Trying to regulate my diet as much as I can it's a bit frustrating at times however.

Tomorrow it's The Writers Guild at 2:00 p.m. I'm always looking forward to meeting with these two guys/people who really meant quite a bit to me over the years more so than I think I've admitted to myself. I think the three of us are getting more and more hammered by age which is kind of sad. I wish I could run forever sometimes and I wish the other folks could too. The weather is holding and I'm enjoying the heat as well as the dry Skies. More monsoons or predicted now possibly for the end of this week first of next week. I'll believe it when I see it / feel it. No meeting tomorrow so I don't have to get up early just for heading out to the meeting downtown. I do have to find something however that will occupy my time until the 2:00 group get together at the restaurant. I don't know maybe just I'll enjoy the space…

Happiness is a new door decoration!

My new door for the season!

You will remember that the granddaughter called last night for some time yesterday afternoon? Instead of breakfast let's go to lunch. I really didn't have a problem with that except that I have to wait around until it's lunch time but that's okay. The granddaughter does so much stuff for me that waiting a little while it's not a big deal. So I got up and rattled around the apartment for a bit finally getting dressed and hanging out till about 11:45 but I could go meet the kids at the restaurant at around 12:00 noon. It's always amazing to go to some place different then what you usually do. We're usually at this D's at around 8:00 a.m. and it's a whole different population and somewhat less busy then 12:00 noon on Sunday. They found us a place immediately however and once again we had to navigate an unfamiliar menu. I got the senior menu so I ordered a senior hamburger, a quarter pounder which is probably more meat than I wanted but my granddaughter explain to me that all hamburgers started out as Quarter Pounders. I'm in no mood to challenge such a statement and it's easy to accept. The kids explain to me that they had just come from a two or three day campout and they hadn't even been home yet. I was kind of surprised cuz they look pretty damn good. We got our luncheon then to my surprise- - just a little - - they volunteered to come over to the apartment and do some sprucing up of the joint. I am always excited when they volunteer to clean the apartment they do such a great job. This was also a special occasion because was tomorrow be in the 1st of September it's not the formal was the informal beginning of fall. We had talked last week to some degree about changing the decoration on my front door. And that's what happened this afternoon after we had lunch. Jackson went to work cleaning up my apartment sweeping the floors picking up this and picking up that and putting this or that in order. And Jasmine pretty much took over the front door project. It was really quite fun enjoyed our discussion and I totally appreciated them taking time to be part of my life this Sunday morning. In a few weeks they'll be leaving for a year or two. I don't know for sure when they're going but it'll be soon now. I will miss them and especially our Sunday morning breakfasts. I hope it won't be too long before they can move back to the area. I think I've mentioned before that they're pretty much going to Florida to go to school for at least a year or maybe two to get the degree that they're looking at . This will be the first time really away from parents and in an entirely new region . They seem committed to this project and I truly hope it works for them. They're going to Florida this seems so far away or maybe I'm just be coming in a clinging Grandpa….

 

Favoring Saturday

 I feel exhausted! Seems like I hardly got any sleep last night. First I had a difficult time actually finding sleep and once I did find it I was awake by 2:00 thrashed around but next time I looked at the clock it was 3:15 a.m. then 4:00 a.m. and I think I just slept minutes in between these numbers. I won't feeling that I was somewhat sleep starved but I got up anyway because I didn't think I'd be able to sleep anymore and I hate just laying in bed. I thought I would get up and cross the street and get a cup of coffee to bring back to the apartment. I was committed on getting out my kid letters today even if I can't get them into the mail at least be out of my hair and the kids would get the letters by the first week of September. I went across the street to my coffee shop - - and I should have realized they wouldn't be open but I thought they just might be open since the holidays on Monday why he'd lose a business day just for the holiday I don't know. I even thought about calling but now I went over and of course it was all locked up. I came home heated a poor little coffee I had already in the pot and went to work focusing on the kid letters. Please with myself drink some coffee printed out the envelopes, then the letters themselves I got everything finished envelope stuffed and stamped and sealed and it's out the door about 10:35 a.m.. I was going to catch the bus up to Harmons where there is a little post office and just as I was crossing the street or getting ready to cross the street there is a postman right there at the stop sign in his little Postman truck I handed him my letters and I was free for the rest of the morning. I felt so good I went to the market picked up potato chips for the holiday weekend. I also got a couple cans of sliced pickled peppers that the shopping people missed the day before.

I spent the rest of my day working around my apartment. I made a new batch of my concoction with the sliced peppers I picked up a few things here and there around the apartment. There's still so much more I need to do but at least it's a start great way to end the month and perhaps to start the new fun. I would like to have got the watermelon as part of my holiday treats but just too complicated. I will be happy with the two loaves of bread. I got a text from my granddaughter today asking if it'll be okay instead of doing breakfast tomorrow, we would have lunch, which is okay with me 100%. I guess for changing up our routine a little bit with Mark in europe. She wanted to know if I wanted to go someplace else but I just didn't have the energy to consider bus to another restaurant. Once again it's not the place it's the company that's what's important to me..,

Kid letter issues and AI

 I was going to really try to get my letters out today but besides tracked by a trip to the credit union / Bank to pull out enough cash to stop the letters with to the kids that still get a few dollars each letter . The trip to the credit should not have my whole day but it did somehow perhaps it was time spent waiting for the bus either at the community college or after waiting to come back to the apartment. I did make a side step over to the market picked up a few items. Earlier on this morning when I was with Melissa my caregiver we tried to do instacart again. It's not that I don't trust instacart it's just sort of intimidates me the whole process but well let's assumed quite confident this morning. There's a problem with the pay for the program when Melissa submitted the order and I told her I would take care of it. The only problem was the number of the items had been miscommunicated and I changed the order significantly. Sadly the number of the items were not found but the person who built my order anyway following my trip to the market I finally got home decided to read a little bit out in the fairly decent weather. I guess that's where I strayed from the path of finishing my letters. After reading for a bit, the sun sort of baked my well too compose out of me. I came back into the apartment and watched the Saturday afternoon / evening news. Local news has been sort of a joke lately they've been covering this burial of the two officers killed in the line of duty last week to the point it's getting ridiculous. This is my opinion. Anyway, I purchased a number of steaks a few days ago so I figured I better cook them up which I did tonight to serve with corn on the cob. Turned out pretty decent and now I have three backup steaks that I can use for the weekend with other corn on the cob that I still have. I was also going to have the rest of the fried potatoes I made the other night but decided against them. Maybe save them for another day. 

I'm going to diverge from what I've been writing this evening and maybe go for a brief tangent on artificial intelligence or AI. I've been really against the whole concept- and I still am but I'm beginning to wonder am I using AI when I write this document? I mean I've gotten kind of used to the underlying issues of my writing that is when there's something written wrong the computer has it underlined and I can just tap on to see how it should be or what would make it better and often I make that correction- - it's easy to do just tap. Is this using ai? And am I Miss using the whole writing thing then. A well written document- with the help of AI- - is it still my writing or does it not belong to our part of the AI universe? I would like to think it's my writing at least it's my thoughts. So in that regard it's still my thoughts but the AI is cleaned up the grammar and the writing problems I tend to have. I guess it does make me look smarter than I actually am but if I were to go back and proofread all these documents that would take forever. And sadly if I tried to proofread but I didn't know what I was actually proofreading with the mistake still stay there probably. Still on things that are important enough to hand in or be read by other people I will use items like spell check which is sort of like how this whole thing started. The computer would flag a misspelled word and I would change it was that the beginning of the AI in my computer life? It's really hard to say

Thursday movie day

 I don't know what is wrong with me but I just cannot get motivated clean up my apartment. It's not that I can't do it, I'm sure that I can I just can't seem to stay on the job long enough to make a difference. One thing I do recognize however is that, for example the table. It is the collecting point for much of the chaos that is my apartment. The point is I can't reach a lot of the stuff on the table easily and I would have to use my sticks and hooks or whatever it is to get that material so I have to place it somewhere. And I guess I could do that if I stuck with that task long enough. The same with other little nooks and crannies around the apartment. For one reason or another stuff gets stuck in these areas and I just can't get to them to do any cleaning or organizing. Add to this the chaos that's on the floor the sticky stuff that's hardened on the surface that I would have to soak for days to get it malleable to the point where it could be taken off. So it's just everything. I guess if I really wanted to do this hard enough I would figure out a way to do it or if I was going to get adjudicated one way or the other and they would demand that I clean my living mess up. Alas I just clean up enough to get by, scratch out a place to eat or to do meal preparation one way or the other try to make something like coffee. I like to do this and clean out a complete sink. This makes you feel like I've done something that makes my kitchen a little more bearable, that is until you look at the floor or one of the walls by the garbage can. This confession is why I really need to have a cleaning person come in on a relatively regular basis to bring order to the mess. I don't know if it's cheapness on my part or trust issues of somebody coming into my apartment. Either way, the continued chaos kind of drives me crazy.

Rather than work on cleaning the apartment I escaped to the movies this morning following the coffee group. I have been meaning to go to this one movie for the past couple of weeks which looked just strange enough to enjoy. And it was. I think it was the only movie this month that I used my program where I pay 20 bucks for as many movies as I want to go to. I don't know, maybe tomorrow I will go to another one if I can find one I'd be interested in. I pretty much have the kid letters roughed out. Now I just have to do the envelopes, print the letters and mail them which I think I can do by the holiday. I still have, I think 3 days before the end of the month.

Food box experience

 I actually slept okay for the night before doing something I was not equipped trained or skilled it doing which would be the food box. Once a month food boxes are dropped off at our building from the Utah Food Bank. I'm really not quite sure what the program is all about even though I've been around it for years. All I know is that I'm not part of that program that means I don't get a food box that's all right. Anyway remember I volunteered to take over the program? Then I remember that on the day that would be the food bank day, today I have my program which is pooping and showering in the morning before I could do anything else. I'm unsure about the program works as far as the food bank goes so today was going to be a major learning experience. Someone comes in the night before and sets up the tables they sit in a certain way that the food boxes are stacked on top of them and basically given to people who are on the food box program. But typically happens at that point is that the people go open their boxes go through it take what they want out of the boxes and leave the rest for the giveaway table. Each month is copious piles of bags of beans and macaroni of all kinds, cans of potatoes, beans, anything you can think that can be canned given to poor people to eat. I of course have taken a lot of cans over the years I have quite a bit in my storage area which I'm quite thankful for. I also have many bags of beans and such though I've never really constantly reconstituted them or soak them and used them to make soup or something I could if I wanted to. They're in my storage I had used them if you want I can't get real food- makes me feel good. Anyway fortunate for me the food bank slip got mixed up and we didn't even get the boxes until almost 12:00 noon! I wouldn't call at chaos but it was kind of close when people finally did realize that the food was here and they came down to get their boxes and things. It was kind of a mix up here and there and who was in charge. There is one little volunteer who was in charge but she finally gave up because she was exhausted from what she had been waiting all morning. I finally kind of figured out what I was supposed to be doing and did that luckily one of the individuals who did this program before showed up and assisted me for the rest of the period of how and what to do with empty boxes, boxes that weren't picked up, how to get the boxes to the people who can't get down to pick them up themselves- - the boxes are really quite heavy. I did that all finally and ended up realizing it's not such a big deal not to freak it out over those things I can't control. Everything would work out eventually I should have known that but still it's something new and I hate looking stupid

Tuesday's Tale

I'm having the strangest dreams lately. The dreams are not nightmares necessarily but they are strange they seem to go on and on all through the night even if I wake up when I'm able to get back to sleep the dream seems to pick up right where it left off. Just little items that are just weird and dream. I also get the Sensation that this feeling that I'm having during the dream will last with me always but after I wake up get going on my day I think I completely forget all about whatever I was dreaming about except for the weird Sensation that it gave me. For the first part of the day I was pretty busy. The storm systems are still pretty significant along the Wasatch Front. Very little of any sunshine today a lot of gray clouds and Rain off and on not a lot of rain more of a drizzle but for the first time this summer I wore long sleeves not sure what the day would bring as far as temperature goes and even if it's semi-warm on a rainy day like today the buses are always cold because they continue to run the air conditioners are full blast it seems. But it wasn't too uncomfortable. I was intrigued when I started my trip this morning that as I rolled past this pot of stones someone had taken the time the stack two little piles of stones on top of each other making for a little Shrine type of something. I was mildly impressed I wished I could have done something like that- - just a pile of stones on top of each other and left it for whoever was to come afterwards.

Tomorrow is Wednesday- - food box day and the day that I'm supposed to take over as being the food box guy. I'm mildly stressing out about the whole thing because the food box usually gets her around 7:00 a.m. but at the same time that's when I'm up shaved and waiting for Melissa to get here to do my bathroom agenda. I'm not going to be able to be down there to do the food box recipients thing. I tried to tell Jennifer and the other lady that maybe I wasn't okay for do this job because I wasn't going to be leaving be down there till 10:00 around so maybe so they should think of someone else. But they were adamant they wanted me to be the person in charge of this operation. Tonight being the night before this all happens I can't figure out how I'm going to do it if I'm going to do it at all but I'm not going to stress over it. If it gets awkward tomorrow because I'm not there it's not because I didn't warn them I warned them. I still believe in the system the food boxes are a great resource for many of the folks here at the facility or anywhere for that matter and we're foolish we don't take advantage of being part of that program just saying I'm going to be having a hard time being part of it

 

Mondays Meandering

That's right look at that date and weep. In four short months it will be Christmas Day along the Wasatch Front and everywhere else. I know I'm a real pain in the ass to bring this up but I just can't help it just amazes me. The old cliche about time flying is true. Finally the weather's changed a bit we're now and what they're calling the monsoon season here in Utah. The triple digit temperature's have fallen and now it's on the verge of being cold- - at least cold to me. Everybody else is clamoring around about how wonderful it feels for the significant temperature drop and I just am caught in between wearing a long sleeve shirt or short sleeve shirt. I have generally deferred to a short sleeve just because I want to keep the essence of Summer alive in me as long as I can. But definitely the season is changing and we'll get a few more warm days but we're headed for the coolness of autumn.

I guess I'm going to have to get busy and start heading out in the mornings or afternoons to get some bus times in order to get some more experiences that I can write about. I'm getting to the point of really enjoying the time that I can spend in my apartment and just hang out and either work on wood projects or do my puzzles on the table. Experience is the creator of good blog entries I firmly believe that now. I just harness enough energy now to do such projects and outbound experiences. I think I'm some consciously trying to save money as well. Why go out if you don't want to spend money correct? I think I used the driving excuse this morning was that it might rain today. I did not see rain of any significant quantity today so that was a lame excuse. My other great excuses trying to lean back in my chair as much as I can in order to take pressure off my butt. I like to think that's a great excuse particularly after I spend time on Reddit on one of the disability pages and read other individual accounts from spinal cord injured folks with significant pressure sores. That is so traumatic in my estimation. So I'm willing to give up excitement outside as opposed to laying back in my chair, pressure off my butt, and a good excuse to read whatever book I'm into. The bright spot however is that tomorrow is Tuesday and from the events of last week's assist meeting there will be another tomorrow which means getting up somewhat early, dressing myself and taking the bus downtown to the assist office and go through another consumer support meeting basically signing documents that will allow the assist staff to work with Worthy consumers who need emergency home repairs of one sort or another. I don't Kid myself that this is Hot Shot emergency assistance. And it's not like they really get their file looked into to see if they really have authentic signatures - - which they do- - and to make sure that they have done their procedures appropriately and correctly. The next major event I probably will be writing about will be doing the food box program this coming Wednesday. Today I got myself squared away with the city and County of Salt Lake to be a volunteer food box guy. I'll be riding on that shortly

 

Traveling Man

 My son is going to europe! He's leaving tonight or very early tomorrow morning and is hoping to sleep a large part of the trip over in his flight. He joined me for breakfast this morning has he usually goes on Sunday mornings when we eat at the local restaurant. He's been talking about this trip for months now and it's hard to believe that it's actually now taking it. He's essentially going by himself and will be meeting up with people he's been in contact with over the internet and such last couple years. It'll be very interesting to see how this whole thing turns out. I guess he'll first go to Turkey where he's got some contacts and we'll visit them with a day or two and then off to London and I don't know where else he is anticipating going. I have to admit I'm a little bit jealous I don't know if I would ever do such a thing even if I could not be encumbered with my power chair. It just seems like such a huge undertaking. I suppose it wouldn't hurt if I knew somebody that I was going to see that probably might make the whole event a little bit more reassuring and promising of a positive outcome. I of course as a parent have not really inquired how he's paying for all this. I think he's actually got it thought out pretty well- - like I said much more than I would have been able to do. I wish him the best of luck in this adventure and look forward to following whatever I can via the Internet hoping for the best outcome and the chance to Revel in his adventures and vicariously visit the other continent myself.