Peer Pressure

It's hard to remember a day when there was not a computer in my life but there was a today and it really wasn't all that long ago. My first exposure to the concept that a person can actually have a computer in their life must have been around 1972 or 74. I was in college and the husband in a married couple who were our friends , the was quite a little computer head for the day. His name was Tom. Thomas was all into theTime/ Sinclair personal computer, a very small system one of the first of its kind. Normal people could not get a monitor to speak of so you had to give up a television in your house to interface with the little Sinclair. It was eight years later when I was working at a sheltered workshop in Blackfoot Idaho. My supervisor David was also one of the first few folk that was playing with the first computers at home. There were no computers in our office David talked the director of our workshop into purchasing a system. This early systems of course were DOS systems. I learned a little bit of the language in fact I tried to purchase a computer system While I Was in Blackfoot. Some one let me use a fairly advanced RadioShack system for a couple days to see if I use the system which I could not so I gave the whole thing back.

It was still a couple years later when I had transition to Salt Lake City Utah and working with the independent living center that one of my friends at this job was very much a computer nerd who was very much DOS oriented. My friends name was Kim and soon found a way to bring four computers in the office. There were cute little “suitcase” computers, the very first portable systems. This is my first real access to computing. I loved wordprocessing on the little computer and of course playing games but that was as far as I got. I knew bits and pieces of basic and other early languages but not enough to do any thing productive. This is about the same time that Apple is making the scene, Apple computers. Kim thought Apple computers were for the lightweight user. I of course agreed with everything Kim did and said. You operated your Apple Computer with a series of cartoons . But Apple sold itself as the computer for the people and definitely was. One didn't have to worry about another language DOS and later when the Internet became available to users Apple users did not worry about viruses nearly as much as DOS users.

I've been away from independent living for now nearly 20 years and Kim's influence or at least his direct influence. However I've been true to my commitment to DOS until, yesterday went for the first time I began to falter, really falter. At the Salt Lake community college bookstore going past the display of Apple products. Apple systems is all they carry. I was completely enamored by some of the notebooks which are offered students. One of the notebooks was so light and thin it would easily slip into my backpack. They cannot believe I was actually desiring Apple. I wish I could bring myself to lay that kind of money down thousand some odd dollars – – and I can do it if I wanted to – – but I can't justify the purchase like that. I slightly new cell phone before a laptop. I love to write but only write on my home computer pretty much. I would like to think if I had a laptop I could write a library, in coffee shops all that stuff but I can do that with my tablet. And I have tablet. Tablet have is not a nice big tablet like I lost but the little tablet does speech to text very well.

So there you have it, true confession, I weakened. I would do it, now in a heartbeat I would do it if I had the money I would get an Apple notebook just so I'd look cool like the other kids.

Prides Fall

This is the officer that officially over Hells half-acre, truly a nice guy.

I believe I was getting a little too proud I must have needed to be taken down a notch or two. I should have felt this takedown coming. I been feeling way too good lately, zipping around in my chair totally enjoying the overhaul of that that chair. I was getting way to hold myself . Well that take down happened today. It's Tuesday my assist day, this is the day that I go and do my volunteer board work. The office is downtown Salt Lake across from the downtown library so nice trip. I take the 703 which is the red line train which drops me off right in front of the library which is a block away from my destination at Assist Inc.

What any day I ride the train into the train as I spin around a bump in the something, I'm not quite sure what it was but all of a sudden on my display it shows I have a disengaged motor. I'm not all that surprised except that I thought it was odd that not the latch which engages the motor to the tire. What is odd is that I'm not getting the normal display for this particular malfunction. I cannot reach the motors of my chair without much difficulty in this is particularly true one of suited up with a backpack on my lap. I realize that some have asked somebody for assistance. Traditionally what I do is have someone pushed the latch back down to engage the motors. I found finally the young lady who saw my distress and asked if she can help. I of course said yes and she got to the process but nothing happens I'm still not engaged on my right side. Long story short is that I stayed right there on the train passed my stop at the library on up to the University back down again told finally I realized us coming up on the Central Station 5200 S.

I did not realize just how helpless I am in this power chair when there is no power. I was trying to figure out a way to get back home and how to do this. I called my brother, I called my cousin and even a couple friends to figure out a way. I was almost overwhelmed. I finally realized I was coming up on Central station and I asked for help on board and got someone, a very nice young lady, who would get behind me, after I go into freewheel mode on my chair, delete then when the doors open push me out onto the platform. She did this, bless her heart, got back on the train the doors closed and the train left. I was stranded sitting on the platform at Central station. As I sat there trying to figure out what to do I realized that route 54 was sitting right there in the parking area and what I needed to get home. I devised a plan. I just needed someone to push me off the platform onto the bus then push me out part of the bus at 5400 S. and somehow somehow the more broke. They're picking make sure tonight and will tell me the results tomorrow. I'm in my packet chair which is better than nothing but very difficult to live out of. To be a while if they have to replace the motor. It will not even start to get authorization from the insurance people which always takes a while.Redwood Road station push me around the corner to the bus stop for the 217. Then I just needed someone to push me on to the 217 and have someone push me off the 217 when the bus reached my apartment. Then I would need someone to push me from the bus stop just outside my complex to my apartment and then I would need someone to help transfer me from my damage chair to my back up chair.

I called family members just let them know my status. I called Ute Cab they could not get someone to assist me for two hours. Finally desperation I called UTA police. It took a while but finally the officer showed up. I explained my problem and he agreed to be my service Angel. This guy pushed me out the platform on the onto the 54 then on to the 217 off the 217pushed me into the apartment and then assisted me in the transfer from my power chair to my other power chair. This guy needs a citation which I will try to provide.

So once again, I'm stuck in my backup chair – – which I am totally thankful to have and am grateful for the mobility the chair will provide provide but I realize the time will be long and difficult tenuous until my other chair is once again repaired. At this juncture it sounds like the motor is gone and will need to be replaced. This is like thousands of dollars well over $1000 at least. In amount wheelchair shop will pick up the dead chair tonight and that they will look at it tomorrow and give me the names. The technician I explained the problem to feels is the motor will need to be replaced. The technician will order the part but they will not replace the motor until they get authorization for payment from my insurance company which will take I'm sure a week to weeks. Now I have to wait. I do not want to pay for this piece myself.

I'm really trying to fight this situational depression and I'm doing okay but I'm getting really tired of the test. I'm just blessed to be here another day

Progress

I have been at this apartment complex governments more than a year. When I got here in October 2017 I did my fair amount of exploring the community. I found there was an irrigation box or some sort of a water box which nearly crowded the entire sidewalk just north of our building. In order to get to the bus stop on 4700 S. I have to negotiate this irrigation box. I found if I very carefully drove between the box and the side of the sidewalk I could negotiate this sidewalk malformation get past the box and on my way to the bus stop. I also found out during the snow it was almost impossible to pass over sidewalk obstacle. Many times I can just go onto the grass around the problem but when the snow comes that's not really possible. I, of course, immediately thought the sidewalk malformation was a monumental pain in the butt. I was not going to sit for this. I was going to organize all the seniors or all the folks at the apartment complex who use wheeled mobility devices to find a solution to this problem. Like so many other problems I have dealt with in the past a lot of people want a solution but no one really wants to get involved.

I was kind of surprised when I first brought up the problem I was having with the irrigation box. No sooner had I brought the issue of in the lobby that the other folks we use the scooters and power chairs chimed in that they all had problems. From what they told me they had tried to get the problem solved in the past but to no avail. I quickly learned part of the problem was no state, county or city entity we take responsibility for the problem. When I brought up the idea that a group of us should show up at the weekly city Council and demand rectification of our problem I was met with a blank stare. And it is problematic that the city Council meets quite a distance from the complex and trying to get a group together for a Council confrontation that pretty iffy at best. I really didn't know the transit system well enough to try to get to the Council meeting by myself after dark. I did call however the left messages with whoever I can think of about the problem. Other folks here at the complex, I found, have done the same. But as far as any of them or myself these requests and pleadings have fallen on deaf ears (I hate that cliché and I really should not use it).

This morning I decided to jump the bus, the morning being such a nice warm day, and get to the bank and unlock my one line bank account which I locked up this weekend when I couldn't get the right password to my account. I also had other bank business to attend to. I was meeting my friend Lori for coffee at the community college, which is where I bank. I went to the convenient bus stop just outside my apartment and as I was waiting I heard clanging and other loud sounds coming from behind me and I turned to see two gruffy looking fellows huddled over the irrigation box. I thought perhaps a couple of homeless guys so quarter at the bottom of the box a desperately trying to get it out. I rolled up and the guys that I want to get past and I said no I asked them what they were doing and they informed me that they were with the city and are planning to take the box out and level the sidewalk. I was totally blown away. Somebody had heard.

I plan to casually bring this information up at coffee social this coming Thursday. I might even lead my fellow coffee drinkers and users of mobility devices think that it was my input which brought about the solution of this multi-year problem. I mean all of these ladies come to their own conclusions. I guess what important is not who brought about the change but the change was brought about.

Sunday Night Whine

I totally fell off the weight watcher wagon today I feel. I apologize for being so focused on this weight issue I am involved with. I just couldn't handle annotating every single thing I ate today. I did not eat that much, I don't think it's just I didn't have the patience to go through the whole process of running the numbers to come up with a set of points for whatever I was eating. I felt defeated on Friday when we did the weigh-in and realized that I for all the work I did, I only lost two points or two tenths of the kilogram.

I binged! I ate two wieners in one setting! I also had about five soda crackers with the hot dogs maybe a bit more crackers. I think I'm looking at six combined points. The soda crackers I think are low point counters but I can check. The point I'm getting to is that I think I might be trying to justify my bad behavior. Because I think at the end of this day I didn't msss up too bad but I just don't have those items annotated. I did not write the data down. I think part of my frustration also came from trying to write the data down in this little small notebook I have been using. It just does not lend itself to this kind of data and to be honest I am messy night right messy and I think that's what frustrates me too. I'd like my data to be neat, academically neat but neatness has been a skill set which has eluded me my entire life.

So tomorrow my weight watcher coach Dana will be here to do my morning routine which well include a pep talk least Dana seems to every time she's here. She does a great job and I definitely need the support and encouragement. I will do my work out some time tomorrow 30 minutes on the bike and I'm trying to get back into the rickshaw with a couple go at its and I think I need to build up my endurance to the hundred rep level. I tried so far I've only gotten to 60 reps. I experienced pain on my right side shoulder. So apparently I'm out of shape and I will have to work myself back up. The point being also is that the 30 minutes and whenever I do on the rickshaw allows me to eat a little more. Just writing about eating more food makes you feel pathetic and how dependent on food I seem to be.

Yesterday morning I went over to the food bank which is right across street from my apartment complex. I actually got frozen chicken and some frozen ham. I wanted to use the chicken to make more chicken frank for this week. I never got around to it because of the bobs I purchased in the “quick sale” section. I thawed the chicken breast and so it needs to be used. Hopefully, tomorrow I can get to that. Even if I have to freeze what I make that's okay I like having prepared meals. I made some rice and I made Spanish rice out of most of it this morning. Now I just plan to use the Spanish rice to make some dinner plates of rice tamales and refried beans.… I have worked at the point value for this dish is not bad as well as tasty.

I kind of feel like a failure tonight, embarrassed at how much my life revolves around food and ingestion hopefully that will not always be the case.

Meadowlark And Almost

I am a whistler. I cannot remember a time that I did not whistle. I don't remember when I first learned whistle. Whistling is the only musical instrument that I ever really achieved any great skill at doing. I think I used to whistle when I was very young and had to spend a lot of time in the dark or more or more time in the dark that I would liked. Longtime readers will likely remember that it was my job on Sunday nights in the winter to access the basement of house where our bottled fruit specifically peaches and pears lived. Our basement was accessed by a staircase on the outside of the house. Accessing our basement was always scary. It took all my courage to get to the bottom of the stairs summer or winter but especially winter when the dark came very early. Many times the only weapon I had against the darkness was whistling a tool like you by my side even today. And often it's not the dark that frightens me it's the things I can see which often forces me to whistle now.

But there's also all the other times that I whistle. I love to whistle when in hallways with high ceilings that give a good acoustical feedback on the notes I blowout. If not high ceilings then long hallways can also produce great feedback on exhaled note. The independent living center, where I worked for a great while, add great, long halls. I would often whistle as I rolled down the halls for the feedback. A good friend of mine by the name of Alan was our recreation coordinator. We called him the Rec-exec. We went through a time when everybody everyone got a nickname. Mine of course turned out to be Meadowlark. Meadowlark just makes sense that someone who whistle as much as I, have the name of a bird so gifted with music. I was Meadowlark Mark. Alan gave me that name – – Alan also carried the title of “Almost Al”. Al had this title bequeathed on him by his teammates on the wheelchair basketball team the Wheeling Utes for the many shots Al took at the basket and missed. Actually Al is quite good at basketball and all the other sports he takes part in. Alan liked me uses of wheelchair to get around. Alan's paraplegic and I'm a tetraplegic. Al and I have been through a great deal for the past 30 years. I'm glad we are friends. We don't see much of each other anymore. Thank goodness for social platforms like Facebook was allows us a vehicle to keep in some contact. Just a appreciate the role Al has played my life. Alan has opened my life to challenges and experiences I could never have imagined let alone enjoyed. Like madly rolling to a BART station to get back to San Francisco before the sun went down. I was whistling up a storm that day.

I whistle. I am a whistler it's what I do.

Mr. Speaker How Are You?

Driver locks me to be down for the last leg of the trip home. It's cold now at the end of a very nice day. Waiting for transfer wasn't bad but the sun was out. The day was actually fairly warm for January. I enjoyed the heat, for a cold day, but now that the sun is setting waiting for the bus is becoming much more of a challenge. The bus should not be too long after all this is Route 500, Capitol building route that runs every 15 minutes during the season – – the legislative season.

I have a meeting with the speaker of the house today at the state capital. Well, not me alone with the speaker but the whole DRAC crew, those who decided to show up. There must have been six of us are seven counting Jerry and Dick. All told it was not a bad meeting. I'm amazed at how many of our heavy hitters didn't make this meeting. I was kind of surprised. I do not know if any progress was achieved aside from developing further our/DRAC's relationship with speaker Greg Hughes but I suppose the meeting was a first step. There were a couple of incidents which rang back to the awkward days of DRAC or what DRAC used to be. One of the folks was actually a kid of one of the regular DRAC talk was all talk and had to be handled deftly in order to not lose credibility with the speaker. But everybody seemed to handle the incident well. I don't know if her kid iss going to come around again. He's what I used to fear about DRAC speaking and not really knowing what he talking about. DRAC has made some inroads and I must admit I came away mildly impressed. My one faux pas that I'm aware of them sure there are more which I may have exemplified but one point I dozed off to the point that I actually dropped my cell phone on the floor the drop was almost like I tossed the cell phone. I don't know how many people noticed that I dozed off but no one said anything and I doubt they would. Perhaps they were just stopped inviting me to these functions.

I sat through the whole meeting trying to hold back urinating. I really should've gone before the meeting started but the really was not time before the pre-meeting. The joke is that I held the urine the whole meeting in my finely bolted for the bathroom and cathed somehow the top of the urine bag kinked and I was not aware so really good amount seat over the side of the bag wetting the top of my slacks. Luckily, now that I am cinching my legs together no one will know. And I'm praying there is no odor to deal with. I am not aware of an odor and no one is acting like there is an odor. Have I became one of those unseemly old man stinking of public transit? I now will be much slower to judge.

It's good to be homebound heading down to the track station from the capital building. I don't know if I feel colder than evening's temperature is over just the fact that my pants are wet indeed making me feel colder than the temperature actually is. I have one more bus to catch before I get to my place but so far it's been a good day .

Best Part Of My Day?

Tomorrow, I'm heading to the capital building to meet with speaker of the house Craig Hughes. The meeting is at 3 o'clock in the afternoon which means I have to hang around here at the apartment all day until time to meet for the Speaker. Actually, since the capital building is downtown I could go downtown and do all kinds of stuff. I could visit folks at my workplace at the DD Council. I can do a drop-in at 211 and see who is still working there, or go down to the library and just hang out. I guess what I am saying is that I can do just about anything I want and I should!

This morning I ran into the postman as I was heading out of the building committee meeting. He informed me that he just left a package in the big mailbox for me. I knew what the item was something I did not need to worry about right then. That evening had grown dark and cold by the time I got home from my Thursday afternoon reading group. I dropped off my things in the apartment then decided to go back and get my package from the mailroom. The early evening crew were meeting in the front of the building.

I know these guys meet every evening it seems. Some have “rat” dogs and some just gather nightly as a means of socialization. I like all participants but it just is not a conversation I want to get involved in most of the time. I wouldn't have participated to tonight except I'd been seen. I smiled and entered into the conversation as best as I could. I told them briefly what I've been up to over at the library. I discussed the low front which is passing through and had dropped the temperature significantly and provide a few snow flurries for me to roll through on the way to the bus on my trip home. We all took part in a brief discussion about how the young people of the day don't know what hard times are. We all smirked, shook our heads and nodded knowingly. Big Jim, who is one of the few other men at this facility, dropped off a handful of candy bars, real candy bars – not the baby candy bars which passes for real candy bars these days – Jim is always dropping off something. I think most of the women have a crush on big Jim. Big Jim is not fancy, Jim is a real straight shooter, a longshoreman from New Jersey and he sounds like it. Big Jim is an elder version of their midlife fantasies. I dallied about 20 minutes as I let the local news run its course before the national nightly “fake news” started. I said my goodbyes and took off. I'd paid my dues for the evening. I shared with the group my best input from my day. I would love to have set a hidden microphone somewhere to have caught the conversation after I left.

I don't go down every night that would be way too painful to share with these seniors, some of the last minutes off some of thier last days.

Better Sweet

Today was the monthly DRAC meeting the leaders tried to Jazz the meeting up little bit I noticed on the announcement by referencing the meeting as a “planning” meeting. That's okay I really applaud this organizations attempt to brand itself like a business/professional organization. I must admit that I think they're doing a very good. I'm impressed at the real feeling of Democratic tools being used. The meetings held Midtown Salt Lake at the Housing Authority of Salt Lake County. I really appreciate them using this building because the authority is on an accessible bus line and that means a lot to me plus they serve a lunch, humble but sustainable. Another thing I really like about using this Housing Authority that is just down the street from where I used to work, before I went to work with the State. So, to a small degree this area is one of my old stomping grounds.

As I mentioned, the Housing Authority is just a half a block down from the independent living center. I used to get off the bus right in the middle of the block (and this is when I was still pushing a wheelchair) cross the street and then wait anywhere from one how hour to an hour depending on when I got to the center. For a host of reasons that I don't want to go into here we did not have keys to the office so I had to figure out something to do until someone with a key showed up to open up the center. Bad Ass Coffee had recently opened so I had a place to go where I could select wait. Bad Ass Coffee was a specialty coffee shop. The specialty being Hawaiian coffee. Now, at the time I was pretty much a coffee novice. When I drank coffee I drank what was ever in the pot wherever I was at. However, as much as I tried I never developed a liking for Hawaiian coffee. Hawaiian coffee is just too bitter. First couple weeks I spent at the coffee shop from about 630 to 7:30 AM I tried again and again to down large cups of this Hawaiian coffee. Finally I discovered lattes, which are sweet , dark and came in a coffee cup.

I enjoyed my time at Bad Ass Coffee. At that time in the morning I was the only person beside staff, usually in the shop. There was a clientele that came in grabbed a cup of coffee on the run but I pretty much had the whole back section of the building to myself. In my booth I spread out my writing sometimes some of my artwork and toiled for an hour before my office would open . This was a great time that was all mine. I became a fixture at the facility I became a bad ass even though I am not. I thought it fun to invite other coffee drinkers to join me at the coffee shop especially if it was the first time and watch them choke down Hawaiian coffee. I was pleased to see the shop still in business as I got off the bus and passed through Bad Ass's driveway on the way to work. I cannot believe it's been 20 years since I would stop there in the mornings for bad coffee. I almost stopped to order a cup of Java to go but could not see subjecting myself to bitter coffee at 1 o'clock in the afternoon.

Do I Know You?

I have to admit I'm quite enjoying social media, at least Facebook and twitter to some degree. The other platforms I have not really best and best interest of time. Particularly Facebook has held my interest as I have searched and reached back to find players from my youth. I'm kind of embarrassed to have such a need to make contact with these folks. In no small way I've used these contacts to validate myself. Most of times the contacts have been rewarding and most validating. I particularly have enjoyed reestablishing relationships I thought were forever lost.

I've been mildly humbled and somewhat shocked at how self-centered (I don't know if that's the right term) I am thinking that everybody remembers ME! I'm totally surprised at how many people don't remember who I am or was or how many people just don't care. More than one of my ex-wives have insinuated that I have better-than-average self-esteem. Still it is always a glass of cold water in the face to realize I am not the center of everybody else's world and probably never was. Actually, Facebook is sort of like the last chapter of a book. Facebook kind of lets you finish the story of your friends or acquaintances you grew up with let's you know how they turned out or what happened to them. I am so envious in many of the postings I see of how many people have stayed in contact with each other over the years. I really miss this kind of contact.

I've heard some people equate Facebook and other platforms to high school. And they are, to some degree, are correct. Touching base with some of these folks that I grew up with sort of feels like passing them in the hall in high school and saying “hi” or smiling at them. That's okay but it doesn't get any deeper than that unless you are a part of that group then I'm sure there are all kinds of communications going on. It just amazes me. Somebody I thought I was fairly close to at one point in my adolescent life recently surfaced on Facebook and I was blown away. I have thought of this person hundreds of times and wondered what happened to them then suddenly there she was. I of course “friended” her. She accepted the friendship request I realize now out of politeness. But I make contact with her further and finally she asked if I knew her or she knew me. I was stunned. I don't quite remember how we met. We didn't go to the same high school I don't think I knew her before my accident. We may have met at the Saturday night dance (if you really want to do the research it in one of these posts they talk about the Saturday Night Dance). She was a close friend of my girlfriend at the time and perhaps that's how we may contact. But I remember though is that we have a couple of all my phone conversations... We traded a few more posts and probably will trace some more but she definitely does not remember me as I remembered her. And this is good, reality shock is always good… Isn't it?

Dinner

Just a note. I had written this complete blog posting yesterday but at the last moment, I don't know what happened, I lost the whole post. It's Tuesday, 23 January and I'm doing a report or redo or rewrite sorry to be redundant redundant.

I made meatloaf patties today. Couple weeks ago by shopping I came across three or 4 pounds of hamburger at the quick sale section of the meat counter. I know many people have a problem buying reduced price meat for quick sale's but for me it's a great deal. Call it an excuse or rationalization but there is a golden space of time that meat passes from its prime time usage where it arches into the sublime for a few short days before the meat starts getting “funny”. Granted one has to be careful and realize purchasing any “fresh” food is a crapshoot at best. Anyway, 3 pounds of hamburger I threw in a freezer and last Friday before the oncoming storm of snow and frigid temperatures I took a pound out to thaw. I wasn't sure what I would use the hamburger for maybe just burgers I enjoyed the burgers I made last week making the panties part of my diet routine. True they were not necessarily lean hamburger but I believe they're close enough and it's good to have something to pop out of the refrigerator and eat at a moments notice when one needs.

I don't know if it was coming home some point last week and wishing I could smell something cooking. I started thinking of afternoons bolting in the house running home across the fields from the bus stop and being blasted with the odor roast broiling away in the oven or sizzling on the stove or best of all the savory robust aroma of a meatloaf. I loved my mother's meatloaf probably more than any other meat dish we have on a regular basis. I loved roast and I loved steak and we had a lot of both comparatively speaking after all we did live on a farm and we raised our own beef we had lots of protein. But meatloaf was something magic (not that the other pieces of meat cooking wasn't but it wasn't magic like meatloaf). Meatloaf had to be fashioned from ingredients purposely together just so, one has to take time to process the onion, green pepper, chives if you use them and crushed the bread up for the binding. My mom would make huge meatloaf's that would last a week showing up in leftover dinners and school cold lunches. My favorite cold lunch was potato chips crushed on top of the meatloaf under the bread. I love the way meatloaf cooking smells there is no other smell quite like meatloaf cooking.

I was going to make a meatloaf I think meatloaf certainly would've been easier. Because of my disability (this may be just an excuse) I make lousy burgers. I just can't get them uniformly flat rounded into the perfect little ovals, flattened one needs for a decent burger. Mine turn into little lumps of meat. A loaf didn't feel right however I went with patties. Earlier in the week I grabbed two packages of instant mashed potatoes cheese and bacon flavored. I made those with my meatloaf patties. The meal was great I thought. I should have something green or at least yellow but by the time the meatloaf patties were finished I just wanted to eat and be done.

My mom's been gone for a while now there are times I miss him more than others. I especially miss mom on Sunday afternoons when I smell meatloaf cooking..

Crying Over Spilt Milk

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Mark Anthony spent the night last night. He had a gig, downtown Salt Lake and he did not get into about 2 AM. We are entering into a new part of our relationship I think. Mark is going through some hard times right now and since the only assistance I really can be for him is to be here and let him spend the night when he needs to. The last couple weeks he spent Saturday night at least fairly early Sunday morning usually after he's done some work here at the apartment. picks up the apartment or the kitchen particularly. Today, not only washed the dishes but cleaned up the mess I made last night just before bedtime.

It was almost midnight and I had been visiting/texting with my friend Lori as we do often in the dark time. I've gotten the milk out to take my meds, my pathetic excuse at trying to ingest calcium. Somehow I got the lid off of the bottle of milk just as I had began my swing to get the bottle into the refrigerator side bin and just as I did the corner of the bottle caught on the ledge and the bottle slipped from my hand to the floor. There was about three quarters of half-gallon jug of milk and of course the liquid flowed out of the bottle. By the time retrieved the vessel from off the floor there was only about a quarter of bottle left. I was tired and frustrated but I cleaned up as best as I could. I grabbed a white towel from the wash I had done earlier in the day. I threw the towel on the floor spread the towel as much I could hoping to get as much milk off the floor as possible especially any errant streams that may have wondered underneath the refrigerator to alleviate potential of dry milk stink.

This morning I was looking for the pads for they swifter I purchased a couple months ago. This is the closest thing I have to a mop. I wanted to go over the area of the kitchen the milk had spilt again in hopes of canceling out stink potential. I could not find them and asked Mark to assist in helping find the pads. I was impressed he jumped into action telling me that the Swifer would not do and that good old hands and knees washing was the only way. Not only, hands and knees but Mark insisted on pulling the whole refrigerator out and washing the floor underneath. There was milk deep underneath the fridge and Mark totally scrubbed clean the area and the stink threat was gone.

Mark Anthony is now living closer than he has in some time. He is able to be here quicker and more often than he has a great while. I kind of wonder if he is keeping an eye on me because I'm old now and can't look after myself. I hate to think that is true. I hate to think this is a new stage of our relationship and my life. I hate to think of what is next.

Saturdays Snow

Snow fell during the night , alot of snow. I would say 11 to 12 inches . Local news media is ecstatic the local ski industry has been saved. I think it snowed all night,this was a nice snowfall to watch; but now I have the other reality to deal with: snow on the ground. Since the snow started falling on Friday night very little snow removal has taken place. Luckily, I have everything I need from the market. I could've gone out before the storm and picked up a few things, but really I didn't need to. I have enough to get through the weekend. Still, like not wanting something until that something is taken away I starting to think both things I might need. This morning I thought about heading out, going to the market, going to a movie or even going over to the coffee shop. But I talked myself out of that and instead washed clothes.

The apartments laundry is in the front of the building. As I passed the sitting area a group of the residents had gathered. A lot of the folk had their little rat dogs in tow. The little mutts cowered and shivered as they mournfully looked out at the snow each on the front walk knowing they're going to have to go out and put their little butts on the white stuff when they do their business. The talk this morning concerned snow removal or more precisely the lack of snow removal. Usually, the apartment contract with some pretty aggressive snow removal types to keep the facility free of snow. However, the storm happened the weekend and there was no one with any authority to call in snow removal folk. This is when I realized if I to go anywhere on bus I would have to get to the bus stop. There is a sidewalk outside my back door, where the back door of this building leads to a gate which I open remotely as I approach. On the other side of the gate, conveniently is a UTA bus stop. Because we are at the end of the block we are not far from the intersection across Redwood road or 4800 S. Last year when it snowed the sidewalk from my back door to the bus stop got little attention. The snowplows cleaned the driveway to the apartments but the guy plowing left all the snow in front of the curb cut. The guy also just did a lackadaisical job of clearing the sidewalk. He made several trips down the length of the sidewalk clearing a path the width of the snow shovel, too narrow for a power chair. I had to grouse to management and that fixed the problem. Because this storm was a weekend storm there is no management to grouse so I groused to the resident assistant. I doubted this would do any good went through the motions. Then a while later while I was going back and forth washing and drying my clothes I noticed one lone individual cleaning the walkway. This guy did a great job and I noticed he also cleaned the walk all the way to the gate and to the bus stop.

I looked up and down the street and the sidewalks were covered with snow quickly freezing the ice. However, I could get to the bus stop and with a little effort into the coffee shop across the street going south. More snow is called for the first of the week and next week as well. I don't know that the storms will be as big a snow maker is this one was but I'll be in the contact city governments by then and grouse about cleaning off sidewalks. I've been pondering bus routes I can access from the 217 which I have good access to. Should be able to go anywhere I want. Especially up to the corner across the street and the 217 southbound bus stop which will get me to the movies.

Clothes

I purchased two pair pants a couple weeks ago at the polygamist store across the street from where I live. In truth what I call the polygamist store: is a true value store run by a.polygamist family. I don't say this to be mean it just is what it is I cannot change that. I like the store primarily for its convenience. I have purchased a lot of materials from this place. I purchased everything from pots to pants. I've always been impressed with what the store represents or sells. Power tools, everything electrical I mean basic electrical things a person would need to say rewire their complete house. If electrical was not what that family needed then they can certainly look at plumbing, kitchen materials and of course toys and other items needed to keep younger children occupied through the day.

I cannot find clothes, specifically pants that will fit. When I would go searching for clothes. The place is not all that accessible to someone using a wheelchair. A couple weeks ago when I was searching their inventory for some pants which might fit I encountered one of the ancient grandparent types. This grandma Could've been the grandma from Waltons mountain. She asked if she credit help me, who was I to say no? I certainly wasn't finding what I needed on my own. In a Salt Lake minute she the launched her self into the piles of pants covering the table in the Men's section. In no time she returned with two selections that were 42 x 34”. I've been searching this table for weeks and actually believe there were no 42's to be found. She found a pair of Levi's and a pair of dockers! I skeptically grabbed the pants and headed to check out. I had a similar experience last year at Sears when I was looking for some shirts. Since I've been out on my own I have tried to purchase shirts a couple of times only to be disappointed by garments that were way too small. I resolved the fact that I cannot buy clothes for myself or anyone else for that matter. I was finally rescued one afternoon by this dear little old lady who worked at the store two days a week. She knew exactly what I needed and what I can wear and actually fetched the clothes and I was out of there in no time. I love the clothes she picked for me and keep promising myself to return on the day she supposed to work but I have not yet.

I got home and waited couple days and finally put on my Levi's actually do not Levi's they are denims. I was prepared for a disappointment because when I got home I checked my closet because I had purchased a nice pair of black Levi's last year about this time that were 42's and they were too small for me to wear. I cannot get the waste buttoned. I would have to get a button extender for sure . I was partially correct I could get the new dungarees on but I was barely able to get them buttoned. This, mind you, was before washing. I'm quite intimidated to try getting them on again. I'm sure they shrunk to some non-usable size unless I use a button extender. I think next week on one of the days my staff is here to help me with my bathroom needs to have her dress the in these Levi's to see what happens if they're too small now. They probably are but I like the trousers may be aware of them anyway. The only problem again I experienced was material seemed pretty rough on my skin. I wore the pants all day but was glad to get out of them at days end my skin thanked me when I finally pushed the pants off. I'm going to make a button extender and where these pants anyway. The dockers fit fairly well a little snug but wearable reasons are not gaining weight I think I can wear these for that near future. The Dockers fit much better in fact a more than right now. I want to get a couple of pair of of a relaxed fit Jean, Sears has a senior relaxed fit by Levi's and actually I don't care who makes the jean as long as I can wear them comfortably.

Sauerkraut Is Free!

I worked out today. I pumped my arm bike for 30 minutes and that's good. Not only does 30 minutes buy me a good amount of cardio for my heart but also asokay three points on my weight watchers regimen. What a system? I know I'm beginning to be repetitive but bear with me. I'm just overwhelmed with the whole dieting thing, right now. I have been more or less on Weight Watchers all week. I'm a little frustrated because of trying to keep the record of what I ingest all week and right when I think I have it recorded when I go to record my next meal the previous recording is not there. I have to rethink the situation and and not only the previous meal but the meal I just finished. I'm doing pretty good as far as recording the meals I've just not put the smart points on each meal.

I am beginning to see that Weight Watchers is kind of an art form. I kind of think in the back of my mind that actually with a little creativity and time commitment the program might be fun if not entertaining. One of the big problems I am having since I like to make my own food when I can it's hard to, it's hard for me, to accurately that the points on what I make. Like over the weekend I made a pizza with a thick crust. Besides the marinara sauce of the mozzarella cheese, green peppers, onions and ofcoarse olives. I've been eating on that pizza all week. I really believe the pieces of this pizza are smaller than the typical pizza from Domino's pizza hut. So,a regular piece of cheese pizza from Domino's is about seven points. That sounds like a lot but not really too bad. So, the pizza I made with a premade crust would probably be about 4 to 5 points.

I'm totally new in this whole Smart points program. Again, as Dana puts it is not necessarily doing the points in the point system (but doing the point system just makes sense) the fact you are focused on your intake process is the most important. Like really, you have a whole mind shift about about what you're willing to put in your face. What I found really enticing is that there are a bunch of food options that are free, this means I can eat as much of these items as I would like. All vegetables are free, all fruits are free. So I can use bananas, oranges, apples in particular to munch on to stave off hunger pangs. And I'm getting this part down though I'm not really clear totally on this process but each day you get or I get 30 points so everything has a point value, the points build build up as I eat during the day these things all points then are subtracted from my overall daily accumulation points 30 points also every week I get something like 45 extra points or something? And if I go over my daily allotment of 30 points I can sneak some points over from the extra point pile. I think I understand this but I am uncomfortable doing it. My goal would be to come as close to 30 points as possible and not go over. Like tonight I had sauerkraut and wieners sliced up. One can of sauerkraut counts as one serving and the best part is that sauerkraut is free meaning it uses no points and just that the duct the wieners which in this case I need about one wiener which is about seven points and that was dinner. That's all I dare eat because I don't know if I come under 30 point cap. Have I kept closer analysis of my point accumulation today I might've been able to eat two servings of sauerkraut and wieners sliced. As of is I will save the left over Kraut for another day.

There is so much good information on the Internet regarding weight watchers, diet plans and point values for all kinds of food (see yesterday's post). Tomorrow, is the weigh -in. I hope I've lost some weight. My scales is on my personal body lift. The lift is from Europe of course therefore I am weighed in kilograms. Each kilo is about 2 pounds it's hard to figure things out for me. I'm going to see if there's a way I can change the kilograms to pound. It seems to be more rewarding to know pounds lost versus kilograms lost. I would just love to lose enough weight to where I can just maintain and not worry about losing and dietary suffering all the time. I should buck up after all sauerkraut is free!

Justice? There Is No justice

It's Free Pie Wednesday over at Village Inn which is just down the street from where I live. I would love to be there right now was a hot cup of coffee and a piece of free apple pie but instead here I sit going through page after page of smart charts for point equivalents of foods to consider. Quite frankly I'm amazed that people have gone through all the effort to figure out Weight Watchers points on all these foods include offerings. There is even a page of Halloween candy which gives the point equivalent for all mainline candies like Hershey bars, O Henry and candy corn to name just a few of the huge offering of candy and what their point value is.

I failed this weekend and trying to keep track of points of the foods I ate. Seriously, last night I cannot stand not crunching so I launched into soda crackers I had laying around the apartment. First I was waived over with failure guilt then I figured I had lost the cause so I even try and I remembered a bag of pretzels I have laying in the back of my pantry. It was small skinny salt crusted pieces of the light that made a delightful crunch – – I was reminded of the figure from the Alice in Wonderland story of the walrus eating the muscles or whatever the small shellfish. Great big walrus tears as the walrus shovel them load after load of muscles or clams or whatever. I wept as a my pretzels and how big I was. Finally, I came to myself and resolved to get back on calorie wagon. This morning I confessed to my home health person who is also my weight watcher coach (unofficial). She pretty much blew my weakness off relating a story of how she munched on brownies she made this weekend. I was delighted and then did not feel nearly as bad. She laughed and said she just have to try harder this week and that's what it was all about picking myself up when you fail and hoping for better results at the next weigh in.

This morning I spent a good deal of time searching for notes and eight speaking to my health care insurance provider. I found out that my insurance did not send payments in for dental work I received . My insurance does not work this way. Pe HP instead has worked out a deal with dentists's for a for a reduced fee. I had to go get my provider the bad news. They took the news well and re-figured what I owed which is now considerably more. But we worked out a deal $200 a month for three months. I'm going to be okay I don't like this going on to my credit card but it's the only thing I could do. So for the next three months on the 30th day of that month $200 will come out of my credit card. Oh well, paying my card down was nothing but a pipe dream.

I suppose it all works out to have less money the great teeth to eat the food I can no longer purchase because I'm paying for the great teeth somehow I always come back to my favorite cliché… There is no justice.

Have You Seem Me?

Finally, my buddy Dave who works for Assist Incorporated and facilitates a weekly meeting that myself and other volunteers attend to adjudicate the award of grant money for home remodeling home repair to folks were lower income. We're not have a meeting since before the holidays and I was beginning to get a little bit concerned. But like all this morning I was a short ever be a meeting and there was. Typically the meeting to 11 AM and last anywhere from one half hour to the hour.

The sun was out today and has been warmer than usual this whole January. I was eager to get out and do some traveling in my over-hauled chair as well as just to enjoy the unseasonable warmth we get to enjoy before the storms begin . I have found if I leave my apartment about 9:30 AM this will give me down town to the public library and just about quarter after to 20 minutes after 10 o'clock.I don't know if I've mentioned before that the Assist office is directly across the street from the south side of the library. I like to get to the library early enough I can check out what is happening especially books for sale and such. The library is a beautiful facility here in downtown Salt Lake. The library is open, spacious warm and really quite inviting. It is no surprise this beautiful facility has become a magnet for homeless folk. A safe place where individuals were forced out of shelters 8:00 AM can spend their day in relative calm, dry, warm surroundings and of course relatively safe as well. I don't know if I would call this open space but it's kind of a solarium an open area with tables and chairs people can sit and enjoy coffee, or any number of treats and meal products sold in a couple of booths in the front of the library. The vendors have little shops sell bagels, cookies, or toast even eggs and toast for breakfast. That's great if you have money if not you sit there and watch other folks eat it must be painful. I am enjoying the sun which bathes me as I kill time for my meeting to start. The table next to me is inhabited by two hobos (all just not too derogatory but really that's what they are). The table next to them sat a fellow who came in carrying a pizza box strapped to his wire pushcart. He looked a couple steps up from the guy sitting next to him who had nothing except a bag of store-bought cookies. I was impressed to see there are two different kinds of pizza in the pizza box ,cold (that's exactly how I like my pizza the day after). I heard a shy voice ask “hey can I have a cookie” then I heard “sure” followed by the rustle and crinkle of cellophane and other plastic as a cookie was fished out. I have to admit I was kind of moved. About the same moment this was happening I noticed I was sitting next to a pillar in the library covered with posters. Advertisements for lectures, films, festivals in the middle of the posters with a smiling face looking out. Someone named Ravina, missing. I didn't read much more than the name to realize that somewhere if she was still alive she was basically homeless. Much like the folks sitting at the tables all around me. I was wearing my old hood, draped over my shoulders. I'll bet people thought I was almost too. I looked at the clock on my power chair it was almost 11 AM time for the meeting, I need to get going. I wondered about Ravina and worried about the two guys at the table next to me and hope their cookies hold out.  

With Apologies To Robert Frost

The writer's group had brunch this morning. Typically we had lunch but this day we had brunch with sort of faked me out. Everything fakes me out these days. I'm trying to live my life under the dictum of Weight Watchers. I find it amazing how much we assess quality of life by what we ingest. I have been trying to lose weight by assessing the amount of calories and just the days time. I got the assessment from my dietitian when I was in the hospital of your soul go. She said 1800 cal a day that kind of freaked me out until it started keeping track. You can eat a lot of food to get the 1800 cal a day at 600 cal a meal. I've written about how my home health present sort of type me into Weight Watchers and that's what I'm trying now. But regardless of what program I'm trying to use the lose weight the bottom line is everything, everything is now food related.

Brunch kind of threw me off – – do I eat a big breakfast and then just something super-light at the “brunch” or do I eat a light breakfast order sort of normal at the brunch and then he is super-light dinner? It seems like it would be a bit easier to do the lunch but I suppose it doesn't matter, what does matter is what I put in my mouth and how much, after all the whole point of the meeting is to visit with my friends and not what I eat. But boy, do I use this event to make-up for some of the dieting I have been forcing myself to do.

Brunch-lunch who the hell cares it's an excuse to eat whatI want to eat and more of what I want to eat that I'm allowed. I ordered a steak! Steak and hashbrowns, fried eggs and toast!! I was in heaven, I don't know if my friends noticed how I ate like a man off the reservation. I had to pull the reins back a little so as not to look too gluttonous and pathetic. I justified the steak because of blood I've lost recently and yes I could've ordered liver but that's not what happened. I didn't have to order all your calories but I did partially because server to tell me what was part of the order and I cannot stop her one bit sure, wheat toast, sure over easy on the eggs and of course the meal comes with hashbrowns. I definitely was a candidate for one of the rings Dante writes about. I am such a weak vessel.

As I'm writing this my stomach “grumbles”. How can my stomach be grumbling now? I thought I ordered just right. I thought I was conservative media was too conservative but still I'm going to suffer the consequences I know. I don't want to throw in the towel and sabotage myself further by ingesting just a few Ritz crackers or even saltines. It is the middle of the afternoon and I still have hours to go before I sleep and hours to go before I eat…

Spam And Eggs

I slept fairly well. Mark Anthony and I got up at the same time. Mark for his morning run and I got up and made breakfast. Mark Anthony actually fairly quickly to get home to pack some of this stuff while his family was at church. I may spam and eggs. Made a real breakfast, spam, eggs, toast and even fruit. I never go all out and make this kind of breakfast. It was fun. I think Mark really enjoyed the breakfast when he got back from his run. Mark Anthony was kind of surprised. Mark cleaned up the kitchen and took off. I love to cook and even more so when I don't have to clean up afterwards. I love spam and eggs. 

Mark Anthony spent the night last night. I was kind of expecting him because earlier in the week, I think, Monday morning, when he was leaving he said something about would it be okay to spend the night on Saturday because for some reason the place he found to stay, the people have something going on Saturday night and Mark Anthony felt it would be best for him to spend the night somewhere else. I of course ,said yes that would be fine I have no problem. The week went by quickly, as all the weeks do these days, much too quick for someone looking down the barrel of yet another birthday. But I have not heard anything more from Mark Anthony thought perhaps it got a gig or something and would have to do sound DJ of some sort. No big deal.

I was tired last night. I Saturday had been longer than anticipated. I'd gotten up pretty early and washed a batch of slacks. I was contacted by Kate while I was washing she had not forgotten we talked about going to PT Barnum musical currently playing. It would be close, timewise, but I figured I could get the washed dried and make it to the theater on Time using the bus. I have to be careful will of the time , during the week the buses run every 15 minutes but on the weekend bus route reverts to 30 minute head ways. The first showing was 11:45 AM and I figured I'd make it no problem. I'm not sure what Kate and I have going. She is just a good buddy to go to movies with. I felt I owed her a movie after exposing her to two hours of Star Wars. I got to the theater about 11: 25 AM. I cruised around the theater looking for cake but she obviously was not there. By 11:40 AM I was getting a little concerned and by 11:50 AM really concerned. I talked to the ticket people and they had not seen her, and talk to the door guy he had not seen her I went inside, thinking she purchased the tickets and just gone in and no one had seen her. I shrugged my shoulders at 11:55 AM and purchased by tickets and went inside. I figured she just forgot. About 30 minutes in the movie I was surprised when Kate walked up escorted by one of the theater employees. We just missed each other I guess. She thought maybe I'd gotten stuck somewhere and was searching for me driving back to the apartments. We watched the rest of the movie. I did some shopping for groceries and home. I may have not done much but I was tired.

It was later in the evening, I just finished posting and was watching a movie when I heard a knock on the door and it was Mark Anthony coming to spend the night.

I slept fairly well. Mark Anthony and I got up at the same time. Mark for his morning run and I got up and made breakfast. Mark Anthony actually fairly quickly to get home to pack some of this stuff while his family was at church. I may spam and eggs. Made a real breakfast, spam, eggs, toast and even fruit. I never go all out and make this kind of breakfast. It was fun. I think Mark really enjoyed the breakfast when he got back from his run. Mark Anthony was kind of surprised. Mark cleaned up the kitchen and took off. I love to cook and even more so when I don't have to clean up afterwards. I love spam and eggs. 

Just Another Saturday Night

It's Saturday night and I'm frantically searching Amazon prime for something to watch. It's not like Amazon prime is light on movies, prime has lots of movies but most are dogs. When I first got Amazon prime little over a year ago I went through a lot of movies quickly. Then the novelty of having access to a movie type of network wore out. However, I plan to get into this a bit more later. It Saturday night and I'm sitting here, alone in front of my computer screen and that's okay.

A thousand posts ago maybe more I wrote a piece about Saturday night. I think about a piece about the SND or the Saturday Night Dance held in Boise Idaho in Boise Stake(a stake is a geographical region in the LDS church made up of wards) every Saturday night and one of the stake centers there would be a dance for youth and more specifically for Mormon youth. It was really the only thing to do on Saturday nights in Boise. So it's another Saturday night and here I sit in Taylorsville Salt Lake. Remember was a big deal to do something on Saturday night? Saturday night was the end of the week and you want to do it with a big bang. Dress-up or go out of town, least wise while you're young. One can go as far as money could take them. But I was too little to do anything on my own there was usually with an older brother or sister and I was the tag a long. I mean if you want to take the time machine back further but not really little my older sister is to be plagued by happy to take care of me to babysit me on Saturday night they often brought their boyfriends in an amount of air base to help out. It's kind of weird to remember a time when my parents would actually go out Saturday night. The sisters were great making huge vats of popcorn to watch TV with. The only show I can remember is something called Highway Patrol. I'm surprised we had a TV but we did, black and white and we watched the long Saturday night.

15 years later I was in college trying to date, again on limited income in the mostly less than dependable car. I dated a little bit but you might do so much as a poor college student. You pretty much ended up hanging out with other college students, guys that were not able to find a date. They played cards I watched. I thought playing cards on Saturday night was a real drag and eventually I would wander back to my apartment and try to find something on TV not much different as right now.

It's Saturday night and I guess it would be nice to be out doing something but there's something about being home or apartment in your three weeks away from your 67th birthday. So I am going to head back to Amazon and see what I scare up.

Paying The Piper

I've had my new/old chair back from the shop for a little over two days now. I pretty much rode my chair all day yesterday and today. I'm fairly satisfied with the end result of all this waiting for my chair to be overhauled. I m satisfied with just one exception, I am pleased with the results. If I were a complainer, which I did not really used to be and now seem to be more than I like to admit, I would complain about the cushion. What little bit I remember of the selection process on the cushion I guess this cushion is what I chose. However I was astounded Wednesday night, Mark Anthony, stopped by and we used the wheelchair lift to get me into the new chair. When I got in to the chair that the cushion felt pretty uncomfortable on my backside. I was hoping this was my imagination.

Riding in the chair all day yesterday my butt was a major pain but I finally went to bed. I gingerly reached back and felt the site where the pain seemed to be radiating from that sure I felt skin breakdown, a decubitus. I went to the motions of rubbing cream on my butt which I do every night. The cushion definitely was not giving me the protection I needed.

This morning I had Dana look at my butt and I was prepared for the bad news. I was going to have Dana apply a second protection on the wound site in hopes that it the would heal as I sat in the chair. Remarkably, there was no skin breakdown skin looked pretty good. Amazing. I had Dana scrapped my bottom thoroughly and replace my new cushion with my old cushion. I felt great all day but wise. The new cushion cost $904 if I remember correctly. This is about the seventh for the whole bill came to actually about an eighth of the final cost now that I think of it. My controller which has been acting goofy the past couple of weeks was over $1000 which is not surprising but still kind of freaks me out but I see it totally with the rest of the statement. The foot box and articulating equipment was doing 2000 bucks! I have to admit I'm somewhat impressed with the foot box in the way that it is attached to the chair frame. This I think actually might be worth the money. This smaller box has given me a lot more options than the other huge box. I was or hopefully my insurance was charged for other items which I immediately took off the chair because they really were not needed and would prevent me from transferring from chair to bed and back again.

It's done for that I'm thankful. I'm holding my breath that I'm not going to be charged anything for the work done by the items purchased. Technically as I understand it this was all to be taken care of by my insurance. This insurance confirmation was the main reason why it took so long to have the chair overhauled in the first place. If by some horrible event I am held responsible for this overhaul even if the insurance comes in at 80% that would still leave me with over 2000 bucks I would have to pay. They would just get a small payment for eternity every month.I've included the cost breakout from a image for this post just to share the sticker shock. Enjoy

Reader In Chief

I may have referenced in the past but I am part of what they call the Next Chapter book club. It's a great program aimed at increasing people with disabilities options for socialization and some pretty good reading. I tell people I help with the administration of this program for the local developmental disabilities Council. This means a volunteer and that I help out the coordinator of the reading club. Up until this week my participation is pretty much been showing up for the weekly readings.

This afternoon, however, the group leader contacted me or texted me asking if I would take the group that she could get me the materials for the class by the time the classes.. I was on the bus heading for group when I got her text. I said sure no problem. Deborah, is the club coordinator and she has some variant of the flow. I just realized this and also realize now I've been exposed and I don't have the flu shot. Oh well,if it's my time with my time.

The materials for the book club consists of one big blue bag with about 10 paperback books there in the large white three ring binder to keep progress notes of the group – – because this is not just a social reading class and the social integration program too. I knew this, or I know this was just always weird to put something like this in the practice from all standpoints. Perhaps the most critical with me is the fact that I don't know everybody's name in the group, though I should. I'm lazy and I've never had a reason to know everyone's name, now I do too little too late. So today I am the leader of the leader reader. I have to contact the person from the library to unlock our meeting room, I then must welcome the group as we begin the session, pass out the books and go over what we read last week and get the group trying to begin. The process looks so easy when Deborah does it.

I did it , I played the grown-up an the guys did a great job playing the class. What's great about DD folks is they are very honest. They verbally groaned and were disappointed that Deborah was not in attendance. I don't know if it was actual or not but I thought I detected a grown when I good-humored way informed them I would be a leader for today. It also made me realize that perhaps some of these folks did not realize I was part of the administration – – I was the substitute. I was not one of them just one of the participants which I am, as I see myself, but not anymore and their eyes.I did the first day/meeting routine of everybody going around the circle giving up their names. I'm sure that I am respect from these people I lost it then when I did not know the names of some of the participants after nearly a year in the program. The group however, the group forgave me and we had a good session.

I remember most names, René does pretty good job reading on her electronic device, Theodore who does a great job reading and leading, Theodore could do the job probably better than I and probably knows all the names. Tina Louise – – I love her name – – reads really well and are surprises me but she picks up the slack after a particularly challenging reader. Jonathan, the blind guy, astounds me as well as he reads with his blind reading device. He might be a little slow and reading but Jonathan is in fact on reading the hardest words. His work totally impresses me to be just the blind thing and I don't give blind folks the credit they deserve from being able to read from their electronic devices but still. I am impressed. They are the folks from the care center two in particularyou really cannot read a bit but the coordinator for the substitute since by that person and reads their page one word a ta time with the individual verbalizing, as best they can, what I just read. We read a chapter and a half or maybe two chapters of the half. One chapter was only two pages. I actually try to fill in some of the paperwork the end of the hour when the class seemed to evaporate as soon as the power ended.

As the group filed out and I tried to write down my feelings about the days reading René, a pleasant little individual down syndrome, who really does a great job reading, said to me “make sure Deborah comes next week”. This was her six word critique of today's session which is okay by me.

I did what I was there to do today. I covered Deborah was sick. This was the first session I had to lead by myself . I think I did pretty good even if I say so myself.

Between the cracks

I'm in my backup chair today, as faithful readers know, I knew it would be a challenge but did not think the challenge would be as great as it is turning out to be. Last night, the driver did show up to pick my chair out and I was somewhat pleased that I made the transfer fairly easily all things considered. The transfer was not pretty and my clothes remained on but still pretty difficult. Later on in the evening when going to bed I'm not sure what happened but when I went to make the transfer into the back I did not get on the bed completely and sort of fell between the chair and the mattress. It was like 12 o'clock midnight and I didn't want to have to call anybody particularly the fire department.

One of the best features of my power bed is how low the floor it will sink. Low enough to the floor that I can just roll into bed with the assistance of my trapeze and gravity. Usually the clean fall and I twist just as I hit the mattress and voile I am in bed safe and sound. Last night I went to the same process but felt like I was not high enough to make the fall when I get fall I fell between the mattress and the question of the power chair. Fortunately, I struggled connected strength I needed to pull myself out of the hole and onto the bed. This took a while but I did not have to resort to the fire department are rousing somebody out of the bed like my brother. I'm hoping this near fall happen because the cushion on my backup chair is kind of small and does not offer support when I make the transfer/fall. Still though I would've expected from what I thought was the appropriate height to bed okay. When I checked to make sure the bed was as low as it would go to bed was however the height felt inadequate for such a transfer. It was almost like the chair height was close to the height of the mattress.

I did not sleep well through the night which I attribute to worrying about life in my back up chair. I finally dragged myself out of bed about a quarter after 6 AM. One of the problems with this backup chair is the footplate. Got used to the box footplate that I enjoy on my regular power chair. The first box sort of hold my feet in place while I make the transfer from bed to the power chair. I do not have that comfort on my backup chair. This morning when I went to transfer I almost immediately sunk into the space between the power chair and the mattress a reverse situation from the night before however struggle as I might I continue to wedge myself deeper between the power chair and the mattress. Luckily for me, since Wednesday the day when Dana, my home health person comes over. Long story short I waited only about 45 minutes in this position before she arrived. Swiftly, Dana got my legs onto the power chair as I power the chair into a prone position when we could then roll me onto the seat. Fortunately again, I did not have to call the fire department. I have this crazy fear that somewhere someone is keeping track of how many times outside intervention i e the fire department, and when a certain threshold is reached pressure is applied to begin to consider long-term care placement (confinement).

Luckily this time before my power chair left I had the attendant removed by cushion and put it into the back of chair which I believe is made all the difference today at least as far as comfort goes and I think will be helpful in the transfer tonight too bad. I have thought about possibly contacting my brother to come over and help with tomorrow's transfer the Dana suggests suggests that I be careful and try transferring, again on my own. Tomorrow is an in between day nobody comes in. It's just me taking care of myself and I like that. However, Dana volunteered to come over and assist me should I need her if I can make this happen be done before 9 AM which of the easy since I get up around 6 AM.

This morning after my attendant left and I was trying to get some breakfast I not off my meds because I'm not used to the back of this power chair as well as the power chair be in squirrely. The brakes that should engage each time I stop motion on the chair do not seem to work in the chair continues to travel a little causing me to bumping the stuff and not things down. This is the second time this week I've – my medications to the floor. I'm about ready to sweep them up again just annoying.

Actually, I truly am thankful for where I am and how I at this point in my life.

Backup Chair

Backed chair, patiently waiting for service, the shop called the man's on his way

Almost 9 o'clock in the evening and I'm sitting here waiting for that knock on the door which means the wheelchair shop person is here to collect my power chair for tomorrow's overhaul. I've been waiting for this moment – – at least the overhaul part of it – – the past two months it seems. I've made phone calls, I patiently waited for insurance companies to authorize cannot authorize the overhaul while my body seemed to get more and more beat up using this chair. Once again I really appreciate the fact that the shop allows me to keep my chair, regardless of the condition the power chair seems to be in,while the wheelchair shop authenticates my insurance coverage and after that the amassing of the parts for the overhaul or and the manufacturer of parts needed for the overhaul. What is happened in the past, that by doing this, the shop is able to do the whole job in one 24 hour turnaround which is fantastic.

In the meantime I will be forced to use the backup chair which is okay if we can do the turnaround in one day as anticipated. This morning I made sure that I plug in the power chair which I is is the backup and got the battery charged and ready for switch. Once again, I am pleased and thankful to have this power chair as a backup. This sure is not the best chair on earth, the chairs to wait for me therefore I do not have the support they need. The foot pedals or the plate is very narrow which challenges my feet to stay on the plate as a transport myself around. Do not forget that I use the chair significantly in my dressing and undressing aspects. This chair is a challenge. The question is less about what and they worry that I'll damaged by but but hopefully over a 24-hour window I should be okay. I should be okay if we can get the chair overhauled tomorrow so that I have it back on Thursday. I have a number of things I have to do on Thursday which require I have a chair that I can rely on. The backup chair, I believe has bad batteries, thank you the charge for a bit but if I'm doing any distance driving the .batteries deplete quickly. I am meeting Lori at the coffee-shop on Thursday afternoon before I am to go out to the library for Next Chapter book club. I am little more reticent to use the chair for the library trip because of the battery issue. I would hate to be that far away from home with a spent battery. I may have to blow off the book club which I would hate to do.

It's getting late and the chair shop has not called yet to let me know they're coming. I'm pretty sure it was to be tonight they're going to pick up the chair and not tomorrow night but the later he gets the less sure am. Either way this will work out and I will have to learn how to cope with the re-made chair.