Early morning bed trauma

 

Once the Apollo Burger, great corn dog great fries

Another day of waking up early, first wake up around 3:15 a.m. and I forced myself back to some kind of sleep I was kind of shocked to wake up again about 4:41 then later on about 5:25 and decide to stay awake at that point. I was doing just fine push the blankets back rubbed ointment on my butt and began to swing my legs over to get in my chair. I'd taken Great Lengths the night before to make sure that my foot pedals were up high enough to hold my feet while I made the transfer. Then and I don't know why or what really happened but I couldn't reach back to get my hand behind the back of the chair to pull myself over onto the seat. I know I think I had my chair too far forward and made reaching around the back of my chair to pull myself up difficult and I guess seemingly impossible to the point that I struggle for about an hour trying to pull myself back into my chair. I had got myself 3/4 of the way over and should have been able to do it from there on pulling myself up into my chair but I just didn't happen I just kept getting flattered and sinking between the bed and the chair. My legs keep spasming out not giving me the support that I needed and I just kick getting exhausted. Somewhere deep inside I thought perhaps if I'd take a rest then try it I might be able to get myself back into the chair but I was worried because at 11:00 in the morning I had my meeting over at assist Inc. And I know that sounds like a ridiculous amount of time but I also knew that if I didn't get going that time would just evaporate and I'd still be here in my chair struggling to get up or be so tired I wouldn't be able to make my presence at the meeting. Once again I called out to Alexa it took me awhile to wake her up but she finally responded I had her call Jasmine because I knew Jackson would be there with her, and he was. I told him I was stranded I need an assist and could he please come over and help me. This is twice now this has happened that I've had to call him for one reason or another and I'm so pleased that he responds so nice I'm just amazed. Anyway it seemed for everybody finally got here and he got me back up into my chair and then he stayed around swept the floors mopped them and helped me get dressed. I was set for my day, granted a little tired but totally doable now and looked much better than if I had had to dress myself. No I'm just kind of spooked I don't want to think that I'm going to call him every time there's a problem, but I might because they're just so nice he and my granddaughter. Hopefully I'll not have to have this problem much more if my part to the power chair gets here soon and it should. I ordered it more than five working days ago so the piece should be coming in anytime and that will give me enough support on the transfer that I should be okay. I have to admit this morning's Adventure leaves me a bit shaken. I've been looking on my own about 3,655 days and then that time I've had to have assistance maybe four times. I think those are fairly decent numbers however I must confess that since the first of the year I've had to instances where I've had to call my grandson for assistance. Any swears up and down that that's exactly what it's supposed to be like and he's glad that I called him. I don't know if I believe him it was pretty early when I woke him up this morning. You'll just have to see…

The 4th was with me!

 

Following the movie I had a corn dog and fries at the Apollo it was a good day

I went to the movies again today I really do like going to the big screen. It's quite surprised that I even made it to be honest. I did my arm bike early on in this reward that was my trip to the movies. I was able to get there in time only had to deal with about 5 minutes previews and that's pretty decent. There was one other person that I could see in the movie theater besides myself but they're up in the second levels. I went to Prada 2 The Devil Wears. The movie was okay actually pretty good I don't know if I liked it as good as I did the initial movie but it was good enough for today and I didn't sleep at all through the movie even though I did take my blanket. Temperature wise the day was pretty warm not hot but warm enough I didn't have to use my blanket and I was able to wear short sleeves. I doubt I'll be able to do that tomorrow it's only supposed to get up to 67 if possible showers. Today I thought there was going to be great thunder showers thunderstorms the clouds look very Thunderheady fortunately however that habits didn't open up and Rain didn't gush down on my head. Are pretty much just hung out in my room until the news hour started. Thought about doing some reading but I didn't want to get caught up in something didn't have to cut myself off. I'll free tonight as usual till I conk out. Last night was kind of weird I couldn't really get to sleep I don't know what was wrong I finally got to sleep later on I remember the last time I looked it was after 1 a.m.. I hope I will have better luck tonight. After all I've got to get up early tomorrow to catch the bus downtown for my Assist meeting.

I have not heard anything yet from the shop that's supposed to repair my bed. It's been about a week since I talked to them I guess I'm a little anxious like to get this bed fixed the swiftly as possible. I'm making my transfers okay sometimes I get a little nervous but in 10 years I think I've only dropped myself three or four times which I don't think is too bad. Once I get the bed operational as far as being able to sit up in the bed or have the of the bed section be able to rise again it'll make the transfers much easier and safer. But I am pleased that I can still be as independent as I am. I would like to think that I was more busy today than I am reporting but that's okay. I was able to get showered, dressed do my arm bike for an hour catch the bus go to the movies come back and enjoy the apartment until the new starts did the news then did two of the series stranger things as I said not bad for a Monday…

Forever long Sunday

 Today was one of those days that felt like it was going to go on forever not necessarily in a good way or a bad way maybe just a boring way. One of those days where you don't necessarily want to take a nap but you end up falling asleep then waking up again and still feeling like you've got to go through the rest of the day. I guess I burnt out on the series I'm watching right now- - stranger things- - I felt good when I finally turned off the television for the day. I didn't have anything else to do at that point in time really. It's too early to go to bed I didn't want to get anything going that I'd have to leave undone before bedtime if that makes any sense. I also think I have something to do with the extended hours of daylight that one has to basically suffer through making the day feel like an eternity. Oddly however it all ends up collapsing in on itself as time tends to do off and on. I first walked this morning around 3:15 a.m. which kind of shocked me. I've tried to try to get back to sleep after that. Important I may have traded until unconscious a couple times but not many times eventually stayed in bed until about 6:00 a.m. getting up then really only because I had to get ready for making the trip over to the Restaurant to meet with the kids for breakfast. I actually had a hard time with getting the shoes on my feet which means also getting to my shorts on cuz I put my shorts on first or I try to and then struggle to put my shoes on after I've got my legs inside the pant legs of the shorts. Had a hard time getting my left leg up and situated where I can slide the shoe onto my foot I finally did after a significant amount of time. Sometimes worries me but not too badly today cuz I was able to get everything done in time for the meet up and luckily mark asked for some extra time so I did okay I even finished a fairly large word puzzle I've been working on all day yesterday then finally finishing this morning before heading over to the restaurant. That made me feel a little accomplished I guess that's the whole point of these puzzle magazines makes you feel like you did something.

I brought home about half of my breakfast that I didn't eat at the restaurant this morning. There a gravy biscuit, sausage and some scrambled egg. At least one piece of bacon possibly too as well. I don't know if it was suffice to be a full breakfast but I look forward to having it one of these mornings before my care person arrives for my shower and such. Last night is a little worried about my butt and put some extra doses of ointment on my butt and surprisingly my butt has felt better all day. On Friday my caregiver Melissa switched out the old cushion cover for a washed cover which I think is a much better cover and somehow I feel that gives my butt more protection. All I know is that my butt isn't hurting tonight as my rear end has the last couple of nights. The dark has finally fully descended on my little part of the world. I'm feeling sleepy now most likely from the early morning hours that I got up. I'm ready for bed before the beginning of a new week…

A movie and a pie

 Once again I sat like a zombie at my table at the coffee shop this morning. The only real conversation I had was with somebody from the big table it went out of their way to point out that he had set up my table and he's going to keep it open for me till I get there. There's a long line this morning at the coffee shop. It took me awhile to figure out that something new had been added to the concept of the coffee shop and that was the gambling bus, the bus that goes from Salt Lake to Wendover the closest real small Casino town now has a morning bus stop at the coffee shop so that's why the place was crowded booming with people. I would just have to say it was amazing. It's a great idea I'm sorry the owner hadn't figured it out before I don't know how this came about it's certainly got to help his end they receipts for Saturday. I don't know if a bus leaves any other days from the coffee shop but it certainly be who the owner to increase that capability. All kinds of people I've never seen before were in the coffee shop this morning. No one sat at my table though not like the other time that's cool what was really interesting was that I've become such a fixture that somebody of the staff brought me over a quiche and an avocado toast for one reason or another had not been picked up and he wanted to know if I wanted it- of course I had wanted it just wish I hadn't eaten for breakfast before I went over this morning. I left not soon after that. I decided that I was going to take you in the morning movie and I need to get back to the apartment drop my stuff off and get out to the bus stop. The movie started seating at 11:00 a.m. so I figured I had good time- - which I did. Sadly however as I was leaving the facility I had my coffee sort of balanced on my lap with the my hook on top of it thinking that it would keep it from spilling and I was trying to balance the avocado toast and quiche with my other hand and drive the chair at the same time and of course the first bump I hit I lost the coffee all over the parking lots. That's okay I have coffee at home.

The movie was okay it was an animation adaptation of the famous classic Animal Farm. I don't know what I was expecting but it was actually really good but really dull to a certain degree. I took my black blanket with me because I knew the place would be freezing because once they turn the air conditioner on the first couple days of the spring they never turn it off so they're always cold. Well I got so comfortable watching the movie with my self covered up that I went to sleep! I don't know for how long not very but I don't think it mattered it was still kind of boring to be honest. I'm glad that I went however but I don't think I'll be going again I stopped at the market on the way back from the movies and picked up a few things I thought that I needed the most important being soap packets for my wash. I made a point of getting them today but you know I didn't really need them because I still had two left that Melissa will take care of on Wednesday. Well actually now I know I remember the anxiety for getting the soap packets was that I was thinking of doing a load of wash today just so the wash on Wednesday wouldn't be so big but I didn't get around to it but that's okay I got what I needed. Best of all I got half a pie half an apple pie. I had a piece just a few minutes ago and it was great perfect for what I need it for a Saturday night …

First day of May

 There's just something about the first of May that gives me hope that I'll be able to make it through the next part of the year. The sky was bright blue and the temperature was relatively warm not as warm as I would like it but it was good enough. I was in short sleeves today and was able to sit out on the patio and read today and finished the book finally it was a long one and it ended better than I thought it was going to and that's a plus. The big event for my day as small as it is the event that is was I ended up using one of those shopping services that does your shopping and brings it back to your apartment or your front door. My caregiver opted to replenish my supply of what we call the concoction. That accumulation of roughage to help with making better bowel movements. It seems I had everything for the concoction except Colonel corn. I thought sure I had some corn but it was all creamed corn. So I was going to settle up and head over to the market to pick up number of cans but I had some other things I needed to pick up as well and to be honest I felt like staying home so I thought I would give the shopping service a try again. It's not that I don't believe in them or trust them it's just that I really like to do my own shopping but today I just thought I would give them another shot at since I had to get about or I wanted to get about six cans of kernels of corn. And that would be sort of awkward and heavy for me to carry plus the other stuff I wanted to purchase. It was kind of expensive I thought but I figured if I could tell myself and hold myself to a small shopping the rest of the month I should be okay. Overall the experience was okay. Except for they gave me the bigger box of crackers saltines then I really wanted and they gave me two packages of corn chips they only ordered one I thought that was weird and costly. And they said they didn't have the V8 that I wanted which I really don't believe but it's not worth contesting on a Friday night the first night of May. The shopping service of course is all automated and high-tech they wanted an immediate feedback on how well they did. I gave him the 75% and of course they want to know exactly what's going to make it better or what they can do to fix whatever problems I thought they had. Took me quite a while to figure out how to do it but I finally got to the page where I can type something back to the shopping overlords. I don't know if that's going to do anything and I had the option of taking almost half of the order off financially but I told them just to leave it as it is now be happy with what I got. I'll eat the second bag of chips that's not a problem I I like Fritos I just don't know if I need two bags and be charged for two and I only wanted one. They keep telling me I have however much money I have when I enrolled in the program for restaurants. I'm totally unfamiliar with this concept of getting food delivered and I need to be careful on something like that groceries is one thing restaurant meals is quite another..

Two task Thursday

 I'm not sure if I'm going to have enough power to finish this blog but I'm going to give it a shot. I don't know what's wrong with my charging systems but it's hard to this tablet charged. I've got to watch it all the time I plug it in it says it's charging and then somehow it becomes unconnected and I never get a full charge. That's not totally true because many times I get it fully charged almost daily.

I really had only two tasks I figured for the day one was to attend the coffee group this morning and the second is to finish the mail out of the kid letters. I figured I had ample time to do both. Coffee social was okay poorly attended a few folks showed up but we yammered for a little bit but all it seemed pretty loose and limp. I don't know how long we're going to continue doing this but just a lot of folks no longer come that used to it's kind of sad. I do enjoy visiting those that do show up though. The rest of the day however was taken up with processing the letters. I started out with the envelopes had a bit of a problem starting but finally got everything working right and printed out the envelopes then the letters themselves. Then I had to sign them fold them and stick them in the envelopes. It's a process but it just takes time and focus and a commitment. All through the process I can feel chaos trying to get me to not finish the project but it's important for me that the letters go out for my own benefit. No one ever tells me they're bad letters or that they don't want to have the letters come anymore so I figure what the heck I'll just keep sending letters until they tell me to stop or time takes care of itself.

The day looked pretty good, actually lots of sunshine temperature in the 60s but there's a wind that blew which made it a little uncomfortable. I actually went out to the patio and read for a while until it was time for the news to start. Kind of looking forward to the weekend and some decent temperatures. I don't think I'm going to go anywhere to speak of at the most, maybe a movie in the usual for Saturday and Sunday. I've been watching this silly feature or series called stranger things, it's on Netflix. I finished a season today each of the episodes is 45 minutes or something like that. I usually watch two in the evening but tonight I watched three in a row just to get the season finished. There's three or four more seasons but I don't know if I have the tenacity to stick with this series. I was expecting something a little bit different. I'm going to watch a couple more episodes and see if I can get more interested in viewing this thing.

That's pretty much it for this Thursday. I didn't do my arm bike I still have 20 minutes to do before I reach 200 minutes for the week so sometime tomorrow hopefully I'll be able to do the 20 minutes.

Meatballs and a whole lot more

 All right, it was a pretty good dinner there's no question about it. But in order to get to the dinner you must go through the rest of the day first sort of. Not bad for a Wednesday the weather seems like it's trying to stabilize still lots of clouds but fairly warm for this kind of a weather day. Melissa dressed me with short sleeves I detested it first but thought better of it thinking that if I have to wear something over my self it would be easier to slip on and off with just short sleeves and I still would be able to keep warm and that's what I did actually. After I got stabilized after Melissa left, that I had some server breakfast felt good enough to head out. I retrieved the jacket that I was going to throw away because the zipper doesn't work and then slipped it on to see if it would work with what I had in mind. Easy on easy off arms covered but no zip up I looked casual but not as hobo like as I just pull the jacket that's already shipped and tried to pull it over my stomach which won't work which leaves the jacket just half on and half off. The Casual look worked and off I went to catch the bus to go to the credit union to pull some cash out. I'm on the downside of trying to get the kid Letters Out- - one day left till the 1st I'm sure I'm going to make it. I probably would have two today if the phone call hadn't come. I was in the middle of my arm bike workout when my phone rang and I didn't pick it up just because I thought it was another spam call. In fact it was my granddaughter when I finally did go get around to checking calls. She was calling to invite me to her graduation type dinner. This was a special occasion for individuals who got special accommodations for graduation. I was to meet them at 5:00 at the community college just not far from where I live. I only had 20 minutes to get changed get out catch a bus and get to the college by 5:00. You know what? I did it I even took off the shirt I was wearing and I put another one on Dugout One of the jackets I haven't worn in decades didn't even try to put it on I just put it across my lap and then took off. Caught the bus made it to the Community College before the kids did and the rest is history. We sat together even Mark Anthony showed up and we did a great dinner again it was a buffet with a number of different choices I went with spaghetti and meatballs two big meatballs, salad The Fairly nice dessert a can of Mountain Dew. It was really great actually plus the kids totally papered me with napkins so I wouldn't get tomato sauce on my white shirt- you know that was daring of me to wear a white shirt but I didn't know there's going to be a dinner. It was a nice event and I got the bus home thinking of done something good for today just showing up sometimes make sure you look like a good guy

Just waiting for May

I didn't go anywhere today I didn't have to go into my regular Tuesday morning meeting which is a gift. I like my Tuesday morning meetings but having my day off every once in a while it's a great reward I think. Of course this leaves me with the responsibility of trying to fill this time this whole morning with something productive. Usually I'm out the door around 9:00 9:30 to catching the bus to go down to the meeting so the whole morning is gone. It was a clear morning but very cold and I didn't need to be freezing my butt off just to be out. I stayed in and made a breakfast out of oatmeal and toast set off the fire alarm just once. My fire alarm is so sensitive that even making toast we'll set it off momentarily. Nobody knocked on the door nobody called they just figured I was cooking. Soon enough the alarm stopped even though I did go and open up the side window door which I think does something take the heat away from the sensor on the alarm I guess because the alarm always goes off after I open the door to the patio. Sometimes if I have the fan turned on above the stove the alarm doesn't go off. I think it's all just superstitious behavior on my part. I just have an alarm that wishes and loves the vex me. I worked on kid letters this morning off and on. I tried to clean off the table top. This didn't work too well but I did get some of the cans back onto the closet pantry and threw away some miscellaneous papers on the table into the garbage and this was after I take the garbage out to the dumpster. But the big thing I did today was workout the problem with my broken Halo bed. Remember from past blogs that the mechanism are the motor on the bed has been breaking. I had it reattached by a friend of mine who did a great job of figuring out that he could at least turn the motor around and get some more use out of it even though I would not have some portions of the bed usable. Well today I gathered up my paperwork from early on for the last time I had to order something from the company that made the bed or their representative close by. I finally got the guy at the company who knew what they was talking about he sold me the new motor hundreds of dollars. Luckily I have space on my credit card to shove it on and we'll try to pay it off as soon as I could. He's talking five working days before I should get the product and then he'll have one of his folks come over and install the motor on the bed. This will greatly Aid me being able to get get up and transfer into my chair without incident. There will also assist me in reading my book before I go to bed at night or turn the light out as well as let me sleep with my head elevated a little bit. I didn't want to spend this much money but I just I had better cuz the last thing I want is the mechanism that raises the bed up and down to break and at that point I would be out of luck. It's just been done luck that I've been able to figure out a way to put myself in my chair from the bed and then pull myself out of the rest of the bed. It's frustrating to write about because I can't really put it into words but at least with a new motor I should be on Easy Street for the days to come at least bedwise. So that was the most significant function of the day now it's just a matter of waiting and hoping the bed will! hold together until the other piece comes

 

Raindrops falling on head

It seems like there's some Unwritten rule that you don't have state meetings on Mondays or Fridays but the days in between those two days are okay that's why I felt it odd when I got the email that the meeting for the at Council was going to be on Monday today. Or whatever it was also probably the wettest day of the year so far. This of course is great for the folks trying to Stave off the drought but it's a day that sucks if you've got to travel on public transit. It was a lunch meeting of course I enjoy lunch meetings most just because it's a lunch and it's not the greatest lunches in the world though I shouldn't be picky. I've rambled on before about how State lunches used to be great when they were catered you actually had real meat in this lasagna and are spaghetti. Then everything changed in the late '80s and '90s well now it's a sandwich and a salad and some kind of a dessert in a styrofoam box or clear plastic. Don't get me wrong it's not a bad lunch it's great but it's a cold lunch. I only have, really one jacket left to my name for public transit or for foul weather. All my other jackets are kind of worn out usually the zipper is broken off completely there's no way to close the jacket. My other jacket has big rips in it I don't remember where they came from, the rips, and if I were Brave I would throw them away but I just have a hard time splitting with them but I think I'm going to get rid of them this year. The jacket I have left, the jacket I wore today is my rain Red Jacket. I never unzip the jacket cuz if my limited hand function there's no way I can zip the thing back up where I to get it on. So now I just sort of try to pull the whole thing over my head which never really does well. I con myself into believing that nobody really looks at me I'm just that hobo on the bus and the power chair. I kind of feel bad until some really freaky people came on the bus and then I didn't feel so bad at all at least I was warm more or less. I didn't get totally soaked but wouldn't have to be uncomfortable. I was glad when I finally got on the bus to come home. I was going to get off at Walmart to buy some envelopes but the rain is just too hard now it's too cold and two worn out and two freaked out by the other zombies on the bus. I did stop at the polygamist store across the street from my apartment they have a weird department store but they did have boxes of envelopes just 40 but that will get me by the next two or three letters months who can ask for anything more. Tomorrow I need to get to the bank to get cash for the letters it's almost the first…

 

Breakfast foTwo

 Cool dark and damp that's how I describe the day today. Sunday morning and Mark and I had a breakfast date at the usual place. I was a little worried I was going to have to battle the wet driving rain to get to breakfast but the last it was just a few sprinkles and very damp surroundings cool and damp. And that's the way it's been all day there are a couple times when I noticed the rain was coming down pretty hard through the window of the apartment. I was going to maybe take it another movie today but I didn't want to have to roll home in the driving rain that just would not be comfortable at all. So I decided I would just do a Netflix and art movie Sunday I finished watching the trilogy of Guardians of the Galaxy. Cranked up the heater and dozed off and on through the movies it was really a great Sunday to be honest with you. I ended up having a roast beef dinner from yesterday's roast beef that I had in the refrigerator. I pulled off a couple pieces of beef and vegetables microwaved and enjoyed. I didn't overdo it but I enjoyed the the roast beef. I still don't have vision of roast beef as I see on the internet of people who do really good looking real but mine wasn't half bad I enjoyed it I still have quite a bit of the roast beef left and I think I have enough for maybe a sandwich or two or maybe roast beef hash and perhaps just another roast beef dinner.

I have been trying to get motivated to start the kid letters for me almost there but I still need a little more encouragement. One of the things I do have to do soon is get to the bank and get some cash to put in some of the envelope as well as be able to get them envelopes I don't think I have any envelopes left that can really put my hands on. This is a sprint out tomorrow since I have to go out anyway in the morning or near lunch maybe I'll stop on the way back and pick up a box of envelopes. It's the the 26th I still have a few good days left to do the letters stuff the envelopes and get them in the mail by the 1st. The days they are flying past. I had breakfast with mark Anthony today it was pretty good I spent a lot of time counseling. Jasmine and Jaxon we*  just were involved in doing other things so they did not join us it was probably good with Mark...

Seizing Saturday

 Wow! I almost let the day get away from me entirely. I was right in the middle of the second- something of the Galaxy and I realized I hadn't yet blogged. I hate it when that happens. I've been busy all day so I don't have a excuse except for that I was too focused on other items that I was doing. The most interesting thing that I did that I enjoyed the most was cooking and roast. That $21 piece of meat that I purchased the other day from Macy's. I figured I better get it done or I'm going to lose it and I don't want to be that foolish to spend that kind of money and not use it properly. It was one of those things of course that you start early in the day then you can just forget about it for the 8 hours it takes to cook the meat that's what I did. I put together the roast I wish I had a few more things like mushrooms but I got the protein cooked finally. Once I got the meat in the Crock-Pot I run across the street and hung out at the coffee shop for a few minutes finally coming back to the apartment I was able to get ready and cross the street and catch the bus up to the movie house in time for the movie called normal which is pretty decent. Violent as hell but what isn't anymore when it comes to the movies? Falling a movie I came straight home. I wish the day it didn't warmer even though it looked beautiful no clouds and it was just a little bit chilly. There was a wind off and on during the day which certainly made me an out in the elements a little challenging. I did have the red blanket on my lap and I wore a long sleeve shirt today that makes a big difference. I would have been totally uncomfortable if I've been in short sleeves. Oh and by the way I was able to get up this morning regardless of the back not Rising I still need to get that fixed as soon as Monday gets here I've got to find out a way to either get the part and get it fixed properly and are buying a new bed and either one of them is so intimidating that I don't know really what to do. I sure wish I had someone to do it for me that would be the easy thing to do but maybe this is a growth experience that I need to go through

With Mark being back from his trips to Europe it's time that we started the Sunday breakfast again I put out a message earlier in the evening and Mark finally did respond that sure he was up for going to breakfast in the morning so I plan to try to hit the sack earlier than usual tonight be able to get my reading done and then hopefully get some sleep before morning. I miss not being able to raise the top of my bed so I can breathe better and sleep better but I do okay for a flat mattress. I can rest not as well but well enough. It was a good spring day looking forward to warmer days however

Adjustable bed headaches

I'm kind of freaked out. When I was getting up this morning I was raising the top part of my bed and anticipation to make the transfer from my bed to my power chair, as I do every morning. The function that rises the head of my bed up it's fairly valuable to me cuz it allows me to push myself forward far enough to actually make the transfer into my chair easier than if I was trying to do it from laying flat on my back and trying to do the same lift this of course is with a conjunction with my trapeze. This morning when I was going through the process I heard a large crack and I wasn't sure what it was but I had a sick feeling that it might be my power bed somehow. Sure enough, it was the Riff mechanism that tells the back of my bed up so you could actually set up in it if it went that high. And now stays flat. I'm only halfway concerned because I'm pretty sure that I can still make the transfer. The transfer will not be as easy as with the raised bed but I will still be able to do that cuz I'll have the bed itself raised up high enough to try to fall into the power chair. As I've said it is difficult and I must be very careful but I should be able to do it. Now of course, I have to start the arduous and frustrating task of either buying a new bed, trying to find the p i e c e that would fix this bed and then make the purchase of getting the pieces here to the apartment and put together one way or the other. As I said it's going to be a long process and it's going to intimidate me because I'm spending all my money it seems like it's not getting replenished as it has been in the past. And of course those of you who read this log on a regular basis no that this happened before the number of months ago and had I been any kind of a diligent person at all I would have had this problem already solved but as it is I was the grasshopper with the fiddle playing Tunes while my bed continue to wear out. Now I'll be getting next Monday I'll be getting the process I'm trying to find something a replacement for this thing that's wearing out that I call a bad. I must not be too critical of this piece of machinery it really has served me well and I will not forget that. I'm also going to toy with the concept of maybe if I fiddle with my chair itself the power chair I can get it to a point to where the transfer might be easier. The Big Challenge now is not to become totally ineffective and not get the problem solved. But I'll wait for Monday for that

 

Cafeteria Pizza

 

I don't know why but when I set up today's doctor's appointment I did it for 9:50 in the morning. I knew today was not a Melissa day where she helps me poop and shower and get dressed thereafter. Today would be one of those days I dress myself completely so I knew I had to get up early earlier than usual for a Thursday. This also means that I would not be around for coffee social which is every Thursday at 9:30 a.m.. so I started waking up around 3:35 I think laying in bed dozing till finally at 5:40 ish I ended up rolling out of bed and doing my morning routine. I actually was pleasantly surprised because my shorts and shoes went on far more quickly than usual. I found a shirt that I thought I would be okay with but I have to figure out a way to get rid of it because it's just too raggedy. I really do look like a hobo when I wear it I love it the shirt but I think I probably look pretty bad. I had to make a shift breakfast . It could have been so much better but I got enough to get me through even with an aging banana.

I had enough time actually to stop at the cafeteria at the IHC Hospital where my doctor is at. I got myself a small coffee they run out and sat in the area overlooking the helipad. I was hoping that I was lucky enough to watch a chopper either left or land neither happened while I was there. I was hopeful because the one Chopper that was sitting on the helicopter pad back propeller was spinning around not fast but enough to make me think that it was getting ready to Launch which it never did. It was cold today skies are overcast and THC hospital is in Murray close to the mountains and I forgot how nice the clouds look there's hugging the mountains closely on these  semi-cold days. Eventually I spend enough time just drinking coffee and looking at Murray from the hospital windows and trying to listen to other people's conversations that it's time for lunch. I grabbed a piece of pizza pepperoni pizza. I'm glad that I did because it was a pretty small piece I'm pretty thin but it got me out of my pizza craving stage. I enjoyed every bite of that small little piece Pizza. I washed it down with a small cart of chocolate milk a positively delightful lunch. This hospital really does have a fairly decent cafeteria there's so many other meal options I could have enjoyed. Particularly there fried food section where they've got everything from corn dogs to pretty nice looking hamburgers and all kinds of other hot sandwiches that would be delightful to enjoy and somewhat questionable as far as wise food choices in the weight Department. I figured I'd just did all right with the pizza in the small carton of milk

It smells like... dinner

 My apartment spills great tonight, I cooked. I love the smell of cooked food in a person's living abode. I don't get to have this Aroma as much as I would like in my little apartment. I have a lot of frozen food that I like to live off of particularly at burritos and such often started chicken fingers and other Frozen things that I've never really tried before but now I'm looking into them. I like them and they certainly fit the bill for dinner and stuff but just not the same as blowing up your kitchen preparing a meal. I still had the preparations for corned beef hash that I made the other day. I still had half a can of corned beef hash and I had a bag of Frozen shredded potatoes that I got I don't know how long ago but they've been in the freezer and there's a pretty big bag actually and they were frozen hard. I dug them out to the other day when I made the corned beef casserole or hash and I still have 3/4 of the bag left so I decided I would file them out use up the rest of the corned beef chop up another onion and use the rest of the green pepper and Garlic's which I did. Actually I did not make as big a mess as I did on Sunday which I guess is good. I even Friday night to put on top of tonight's dinner. It's basic but it's good real meat potatoes type stuff. I should have had something green somewhere along the line but at that point I just wanted to get done with the meal and get on my evening. I'm trying to focus now on getting things done so I can get to bed early tonight. Tomorrow I have to go over to the medical high-rise and see my physician. It's nothing weird or anything it's just a checkup which I think is pretty lightweight. Just basically going there and waiting then when the guys come in and ask how I'm doing and tell him I'm fine I'm doing okay and then they turn me loose. I don't know why but I made the appointment pretty early in the morning actually it's at 9:50 but they want you to be there at 9:35 so that they could do everything that they want to do to you before you actually see the doc I'm going to be waiting a long time anyway cuz I always do even when I'm in there early. Of course everything rides on the fact whether I get my bus rides on time and such. I think I'll be okay even if I'm late they'll work me in one way or the other. They may not be happy about a late appointment but it's not like I'm going to have anything done or anything it's just a look see- - at least that's what I keep telling myself and that's what I really want to believe.

When you got to go you got to go

 I love it when I can get two significant things done in one day. Makes me feel like I'm somewhat relevant maybe even quasi-important. It's Tuesday of course that means I generally have a meeting at the assist office. It's a pretty insignificant little meeting and used to have three people there but that's evaporated it's just basically me these days. I go there and sign documents of people who need assistance from the the office the assist office to help them repair their homes or other situations to deal with emergency housing. I've been doing it for decades I think I'm a fixture. Anyway, this meeting is always at 11:00 a.m. which means I have to Scamper around the apartment relatively focused to get dressed and get ready to catch the buses I need to get to and the train to get me down town for this meeting no problem today. In fact, I was kind of surprised because I thought I had dialed too much but I still had 20 minutes or maybe 30 minutes to kill before the meeting and so I ended up zooming through the library checking out the new books. I always check out the new fiction every week when I attend my meeting. I'm just amazed at how much new fiction there is out there on a weekly basis. I picked up a new book actually it was an old battered dead book it was in the throwaway section in front of the little bookstore they have at the library. This was a tray of books they were just giving away because I don't think anybody else wanted them. They were mostly paperbacks the one I picked was or is a volume a fiction about attorneys. What strange right now is that I'm going through this whole phase of reading nothing but fiction about attorneys. I didn't even realize that the attorney Mantra or the attorney character was such a big part of fiction. In fact right now in the library upstairs where I live there's a number of hardbacks that are attorney fiction. I think this is some for some reason but I'm supposed to be reading right now cuz I've been just every time I turn around it's a book about attorney fiction so I got this one today and so I'll put that on hold until I finish the current book I've been working on for a couple weeks. I'm getting close.

Following my meeting at assist I ended up taking the bus up to Redwood Road and then taking the bus down to 21 South where the D's restaurant was we met today. It's the writers group we still are meeting we're still hanging around with each other I can't believe it. I don't know if it's Lori who's the driving force on this but she's the one who I think puts together these meetings but Jerry and I keep coming. Jerry brought books again today one for Lori one for me and a sundress tales about experiences he's had in the writing profession. He pays for lunch so we listen. Today we all ordered off the senior menu and felt comfortable doing so. We met for at least 2 hours but finally broke up and went our separate ways. It's not like we vowed to meet again but we know we will. One of us is going to die relatively soon I bet. I hate that idea I don't see myself being the person so at least he's a Jerry or Lori I don't know who I would mourn the most. I'd like to think it won't happen but that's just wishful thinking reality says when you got to go you got to go..

       

Claire and me

It was the weirdest thing this morning I was woken up by the alarm in my cell phone which I never ever really use. I've been pondering this event all day in the back of my mind. The only thing I can think of was that the other day yesterday really I dropped my phone and I picked it up and was fiddling around trying to make sure it's okay and stuff and I may have touched the wrong keys at the wrong times I don't know but somehow I set the alarm to go off exactly at 6:00 a.m. and it did. I was shocked at first I really don't like being woken up by loud noises and I very seldom ever have been woken up by us an alarm in this case can't remember if it was turning on music of some sort or maybe it was NPR. I'm not sure which it was so strange because I had woken up myself earlier in the morning just to go back to sleep. I really felt if I'd want to I could get back to sleep very easily I don't know if I would have or not just because it's a shower day and so I know that sooner or later my home care attendant would be here to help me do my morning routine and shower. So essentially I got up and got the basics done before Melissa got here. And that is also a good thing. It's just weird. I may use it again tonight because tomorrow morning I have to be up for sure get ready and go in to get the bus if you do my thing over at access, Incorporated. I did get a hold of my manager boss whatever at the agency who should be that they are indeed would be a. At 11:00 a.m  

Today was a special day for me anyway. I was able to have lunch with my former employer/friend. Maybe the most accurate term might be manager. It started out a little rocky because I went to the wrong place for where we thought we would have lunch or I thought we were going to have lunch. Luckily the place she went was just a block away from where I was at and she got in her car and came back. We had a great discussion we laughed a lot they enjoyed our meals people think the same thing fish. We're both really lucky that we are as healthy as we are she has lost a great deal of weight and I'm just old and just trying to get by one day at a time without hurting myself Beyond repair. Her partner / wife is currently in the hospital in rehab so my boss is at home trying to clean up the place for her return and was able to break off time and come and visit with me at lunch. We vowed to stay in closer contact this next year we'll see what happens.

 

Sunny Sunday

I still feel a little guilty about canceling the breakfast, this morning. But I totally enjoyed having a free Sunday morning. I did one of the things that I used to do many Sunday mornings and that was to cook. I made myself a breakfast. I've been thinking of building this breakfast for some weeks now I've had a can of corned beef for the very purpose. And I think yesterday I bought a green pepper or it may have been the day before but anyway I had all the ingredients that I usually use when I make corned beef hash. I've had a sack of hash browns sitting in the freezer for over a year I was surprised to find how they had grown together the one large Mass of Frozen shredded potato. It was a chore to get enough potatoes off that to make breakfast but I did it but I also cheated and used some of the frozen tater tots I had in my freezer as well. So the morning is filled with chopping, slashy hashing and mincing up garlics, onions anything else I could get my hands on to put into this dish one of my favorites the only thing I did not put in that I used to usually add was eggs to the end product and cheese. I still thought that the dish was very tasty after I finished it. Of course, I destroyed my kitchen that's always the Peril of cooking at home. This should be great if I was rich enough to have a maid to clean up whenever I cooked. I also did not make toast. I figured that toast at this juncture would be just Overkill. I did have the rest of my green grapes from our fruit addition as well as I opened a bottle of V8 for my vegetable juice morning drink. What must remember this tasks take a couple of hours at least. Either the night before prepping up the meals are the food for cooking or doing the the cook these vegetables need to be processed. I had lots of ketchup and I even included an egg to my end product. It was a Friday over easy. I cannot believe how much stuff I dropped on the floor of course A lot of it was utensils I used to make the meal Plus Forks. Plastic forks easy to dispose of in the time comes. I had a small bowl full for breakfast with an egg on top. I could have gone in for the toast but I was happy the way that it was.

The weather was beautiful today finally a perfect day. I don't think it got more than 72 or 75°, but that's way more than I could have hoped for. There's actually hot enough that I saw it out shade when I was outside reading on the porch today. I read until one of the folks who lives here a relatively new guy but a master complainer ended up cornering me on the patio. He just went on and on and on about how bad the world was to him. He just wears me out I tried to avoid him as much as I can after listening to him for 5 minutes I usually try to figure out a way to escape the situation. However today he cornered me and thought being a total jerk all the way around I'll listen to him for at least 20 minutes before I couldn't stand it anymore I left him to find some other prey to waste his Day on…

 

Sounds of Saturday

Another morning waking up fairly early. I'm getting kind of used to this anyway I hung around the bed until around 6:00 then got up. I really didn't have a problem but it was a bit of a challenge I just need to be careful all the time these days. I spent a lot of time right after getting up doing just the regular things shaving getting dressed and such and I finally did get dressed grab the fast breakfast of peanut butter toast and yogurt then cross the street to the coffee shop. It was quite an interesting morning actually I sat for some time by myself and then this one guy named Odo showed up and ask to sit beside me and I said okay sure no problem. Then he went off on the tangent about who he was and how much you like to visit with people even people he didn't know and he was glad he sat down with me and such and went on and on we talked for an hour at least before the person he was waiting for showed up. They were going to play chess. This is the first time for a long time I had somebody to really visit with and look like I was really busy with somebody- - I know that sounds weird but that's just the way it came out. That was good because that was my cue to leave and leave I did. The day was chilling not too bad I wore a jacket around my shoulders or a hood around my shoulders to cross the street to go to the coffee shop. Little later I ended up going to the market getting a few things I felt I needed to get through the weekend with. I got some fried chicken already cooked from the deli along with some mashed potatoes and gravy. I also got a slab of ham another jar bottle of V8. Few other asunderous things as well jalapeno slices just so I'm set for the next batch of concoction.

After I got back home I fell into my regular practice of watching a couple of episodes of the current series I'm involved with and the movie and that was about it for this Saturday. Wish I'd done more cleaning up around the house/ apartment. I did take garbage out of the bathroom and the kitchen so I have cleaned receptacles start dumping stuff in. I thought about making something like meatloaf or whatever but I'd never got around to that and figured I had enough stuff Frozen that I can get by tomorrow Sunday without having to do any cooking. I do also have the chicken I have another leg left and a breast actually two breasts which is a lot of chicken cuz I want to use part of one of the breasts chop up for Frank. Had I been in the ball today I would have had rice made and throw it together but now it's just going to have to wait till Monday. Actually I could have one of the fried breasts for lunch or dinner or whatever. Since Marcus still in Budapest or wherever he's at I really didn't feel like doing breakfast tomorrow with just the kids I know that sounds bad but I'm feeling a little risky as far as pooping goes so I just wanted to lay low if I have to poop I'll be here at the apartment. I just hope I'll be all right

 

Thoughts on food

 Today looks beautiful actually no clouds just beautiful blue sky with lots of sunshine. I rolled from the back door up to the front office where the laundry is at just to see how cold it was it was cold enough to what we stay the rest of the day inside enjoy the beauty of the day from little apartment. Experience wise the day was rather dull but I did enjoy the day in the apartment. I didn't make anything I thought about doing a cake but I'm not ready yet for that and I also thought about putting together a meatloaf but I don't have a green pepper. I'm sure there's been many a meatloaf belt without a green pepper in fact I've done that in it comes up pretty decent. The onions save it a lot if you ask me but I would still like to have a green pepper so I will put it off, that is the construction of a meatloaf until I can give my hands on a green pepper which might mean a roll to the store tomorrow. They might be cold but if I dress up warm maybe wrapping a red blanket or something I should be okay. I still have a couple of jalapeno peppers pickled peppers left over from the concoction but I don't think that's what I want as far as deep green pepper flavor that happens with the meatloaf when it's done right. If I could pull off a fairly decent meatloaf tomorrow that would mean I would have meals for Sunday. I do have meals actually Frozen in the the Skies of meat burritos or pot pies Etc. I also have a can of meat corned beef that I can make a nice Frank with. I've been talking about doing this for some time I'm just somewhat intimidated I think by trying to put together another corned beef dish. I shouldn't because I've done it so many times in the past and it really is the kind of meal that makes great leftovers. I've also been toying with the idea of taking the number of those beef stew cans I'd gotten from the Mormon food boxes and dumping them into One Bowl so it's like a major dish of stew and then whenever I needed to meal I could just dip it measuring cup or whatever into the stew and I would always have a meal ready to go. I know it's weird but so many times I would have a meal of something from the pantry but means I'd have to fetch the can open it up heat it up and then do the clean up afterwards. If I do this plan open up four or five cans of stew and then to one container that way I can just have it whenever I want. This would allow me to move a lot of cans through my storage as well as having more full meals that's sort of been my goal. I still have to work on vegetables and fruit. I do however try to keep fruit like grapes close by and I do have cans of fruit which I would enjoy better if it wasn't such a task getting them out.

Winters relapse

  The cold front moved through today just as they said it was 2 hours of snow wind and clouds and dropping temperatures. The snow is long gone but the temperatures are still here and we are once again in the midst of winter but that's okay I don't think it's going to last very long at all. Still, I'll probably be inside for most of the time. I don't Vision me going out or bundling up and going out for any particular reason. Well Tuesday I'm sure we'll have a meeting downtown Salt Lake and I'll breathe the elements for that but aside from that probably stay close to home and try to stay off my butt going to another sensitive phase I don't know if it's me or the cushion or just what but certainly irritating. I must admit it was a challenge getting dressed this morning but I was able to do it and get to my coffee group meeting well within the time limit. I don't know why I like going to these events so much unless it's just to being company with some of the other people at the property. There is nothing Earth shaking going on just a bunch of old people talking about the stuff that they've been doing since the last Thursday. The two Hispanic ladies that run the group or host the event does a great job whether it's cookies, pieces of fruit or in today's situation all the above Plus pancakes. I'm not much into pancakes especially in the social studies just because syrup is such a culprit. And if I eat something with syrup on it it's bound to get on my hands and once it's on my hands it stays sticky on my hands all day long it's drives me totally crazy so I just assumed pass and eat the other finger foods.

Not much else happened today for me anyway I spent the whole day pretty much in the apartment watching different movies. I only watched one Marvel movie and then couple movies on Prime but you a little high brow but not too bad I enjoyed them anyway. I had the heater cranked up and I wore stalking cap some of the time. I think I was more sleepy than I thought because I remember it one time visiting with somebody at the coffee group they told me to wake up and I was looking right at him I must have been dozing or something how embarrassing. I thought I slept really good however I was up at 6:00 I actually went to bed around 10:00 I think red till 11:00 which surprised me cuz I thought it was very much later than that so it got a little extra more sleep than I usually do they can get all confusing to me

Potluck

Wednesday, today, is a poop day and sadly I must report that I hardly made any deposits at all today which leads me to some anxiety as far as now having to wait until Friday for my next opportunity unless of course my body takes it in its own mind to do whatever it wants and moves forward on the schedule. I'm still trying to absorb the lesson that this is not a great big deal if it happens it happens you get cleaned up and get back into the game. It's just that simple but it does take a toll on me as far as how I envision myself and how I want to be able to get out and do things but for fear of a public poop sort of holds me back. I don't think I'm getting depressed because of this but I know I'm a bit concerned. What if this is the new routine that my body's establishing. I think possibly maybe an option might be just don't go any further than I need to day wise and have a regular poop Day on Saturday night if I feel anything close to a need. Already I can tell I've spent way too much time on this particular issue and I'm sure the reader is getting real tired of this as well. I guess I'm just working through the whole thing. I'm really thankful that I've got Melissa who has no issues or problems of working with my situation. I'm really lucky on that level even if it costs me something extra to get these things cleaned up when it's not a regular day.

I don't know if the luncheon was planned for today, tax day but they had a potluck lunch today at the facility everyone was just going to bring whatever they wanted. I really wanted to take part on this and so early on after I got dressed and such this morning I went over to the market to see if I could find something to bring as my contribution since I wasn't going to make anything. I have a saddened however that there is nothing even put out this morning and it was like 9:30 or 10:00 that they didn't have a fried chicken or anything else out I could have gone the one of the Frozen casseroles they have but then he gets around 12 or 14 dollars like family size lasagna for example. I guess I'm too cheap I wasn't going to spray that much. I still have in a case I bought a few weeks ago I drink it down and do it on the table for my contribution. Nobody took any of the drinks it's okay I saw it as my way is buying into the game. There were some good dishes there however some nice potato salad, meatballs pork and beans or ham and beans of some sort and assorted cakes, pies and other Charming desserts. It was nice everyone visited a little bit everyone looks nice to each other. I was quite proud of myself the only thing I took home was the cans of Pop, my donation..

 PS I'm going to have to get back into the habit of taking images every day. I should have taken some of the luncheon today but I wasn't thinking. Hopefully I'll get better

Movie and coffee

I didn't have to go into the city today no assist meeting. Once again this feels like a holiday in fact I had to keep telling myself that it was Tuesday because it felt so much like a Friday. Interesting I thought so as not to lose the day by just hanging around the apartment or watching Marvel movies I decided that even though it was cold outside comparatively speaking I put on my hood or drape a blanket over me jump the bus and go to a movie which I did. I tried to get the problem of my card fixed- - my special movie card that lets me go to all the movies I want a month for 20 bucks. Somehow it's stopped working but that wasn't able to be done today but it's able to get a ticket just the same. I watched the movie again that I saw a couple of weeks ago and it was like watching a whole another movie. I kind of remembered parts and pieces of this but most of the movie was totally new and made a lot more sense. I don't know what's wrong with me I've got to watch a movie twice now to figure it out. I don't think that's an aging thing neither. The movie was Project Hail Mary and it was much more enjoyable this time. It's a long picture but pretty well done. Anyway, the only problem I had was the theater was pretty cold I'm glad I took my blanket with me. Following the movie I really didn't want to go home just then and I was kind of hungry though I had popcorn at the front of the movie but nothing to drink. I went over to Harmons which is right next to the movie house and got the piece of bread from their Bakery which is really good then stopped at their coffee shop for some coffee. I took some images of my treats I'm going to try to post them with this posting. I know I haven't done any images for some time so I think I'm about due.

As I mentioned earlier I went to Harmons which I think is a high end grocery store. I forget that I look pretty weird as I'm rolling around town these days. I look like the strange guy that I used to see around town myself and a different me. I look pretty well messed up people give me a wide berth that's just as well but I went to the little area where you can sit and eat things you purchased from there Little Deli kind thing. And ate my piece of bread and drink my coffee before I headed out to the bus stop. It wasn't as cold in the afternoon as it was going to the movie. I guess the sun had had enough time to cook the surroundings a little bit. Luckily I didn't have to wait long before the 217 showed up to Ferry me home. What's up good to get back into the world again.

 

Poop Recovery Monday

 It's so hard to go backwards especially in the area of weather when you've been treated to some really nice warm summer like days so early in the spring. Even though the sun was out today it was still quite chilly out. I actually went to the market and was okay all things considered. I found a hood that I forgot that I had hanging in the closet - - my caregiver is so good about hanging up stuff that I drop and when that happens I forget that I even have the item. I wiggle myself into my blue hoodie that zips up front I like this because it's long enough I can actually pull it down beside me in the back and not having a Skin showing. My blue hood is one of my few pieces of clothing that I kind of enjoy wearing. It's a struggle however to get inside the hoodie and I prefer only trying to put it on when I have short sleeves on like a t-shirt. As I kind of mentioned earlier that the hoodie is a great piece of clothing that I can wear instead of having to get all dressed up in one of my heavy jackets that's too heavy for the season. I know there's other things in the world I should be thinking about this much more important than how nice wearing a hood is but it's true.

Actually going out in public is quite an event for me today because I had a major bowel accident overnight. I was so thankful to have a caring and supportive caregiver that I have who just jumped right into the situation this morning when she came for her regular work and had this added project to her schedule. I thought I'd contain the elements of the bowel movement better than I had and actually had done pretty well. I only had a couple other events to judge it by that I really did really really good and contained if not all of it most of it the poo. Well I did contain a lot of the material but there is still quite a bit of feces that escaped. And I had to transfer from my bed to my chair and that also spread the material out. If there's anything good about this whole situation it's that the more I have these kind of issues the more I realize I'm like everybody else and though no one speaks about their bowel accidents they're happening out there probably more than my naive self what's to even think about. So I'm getting used to it I just don't want to become a weekly ordeal. It's still the situation that's happening that I have three bowel movements a week remember? And the longest I have to go from one day to the next is the weekend or have a bowel movement on Friday morning and then I have to go all the way till Monday morning. This does not seem like a lot but it is. If I cannot get on top of this situation I may have to just build in another day of a regular bowel movement on either Saturday night or Sunday morning. Probably the earlier the better since that's thea problem that I think I eat so much that I've got it stuffed in me and it's got to come out somewhere. I hope nobody finds this offensive just part of life of the Aging odd quad

Simply Sunday

 I can't say it's really cold, it's not cold but it's not warm and dry either. Look like major storm clouds a Cool Wind and fairly chilly temperature this morning I met me as I left the apartments and headed for breakfast thank goodness I was wearing my long sleeve shirt because it was definitely not a warm spring moment. Oh, it's definitely spring just on the colder side and there was a couple drops hit me too as I rolled over to the restaurant. I was amazed when I was visiting with Mark that he's heading off to Europe again this next week. I'm just amazed that he's doing this and I'm not sure exactly why except to be hanging out with people he is interested in over there most of them younger women. We had some good discussion this morning not much because the kids showed up. Talked a lot about Mark's knee for being recognized and his need for feeling appreciated Love by other people. This also brought up a lot of conversations about karen/shannon his mother. She was a handful had a lot of issues, a lot of problems. It's mental health challenges and certainly I think had some impacts on Mark we're trying to break my heart.

I really didn't do much the rest of the day mainly just watching Marvel movies with the heater going full blast. It probably wasn't really that cold inside the apartment it just look that way looking out at the clouds and the possibility of inclement weather. That's pretty uncomfortable most of the day I think I'm sitting on a poop and I just don't want it to come out before tomorrow morning. It's the only problem with weekends with me is that it's the three days I go without pooping well actually just two days in a night but still it's pretty uncomfortable I wish I could just be like in the old days even be even after my accident I can still eventually poop by myself which I did up until I had that pressure thing we moved from my neck and really decimated my access to being independent. I'm still thankful that I can do the things that I do and I do the things that I do but it's just one of those little things being able to poop anytime that you want to. I just don't have the strength to get me on or off the toilet especially in the power chair. I don't know if I could do it as in the manual chair but I don't have that option anymore. I don't even think that I could transfer from my bed to the manual chair safely. So hopefully I'm going to close maybe a little early tonight and see if about hitting the bed a little bit early. Hopefully I'll be able to hold the poop until tomorrow morning if I go to bed and take the pressure off from sitting up. I can pack myself pretty well with bed pads and wet wipes in case I can't hold it. Luckily if I go during the night I'll be able to contain the poop to a fairly safe level like I've done other times. This really mitigates the amount of work that Melissa will have to do. This is also cheaper for me because I don't have to have her come out on an emergency type situation but I usually pay around 20 bucks for her visit to come out and clean me up. I figure I can just tough it out until tomorrow and hopefully things s will be good then

Saturday sentiments

This may be another short one because I've just let this day get away from me. No specific reason just laziness I guess. However I did make or tried to make the casserole that I've been thinking of the last couple days the hamburger patties can of mushroom soup garlic dry powder. Turn that okay sounds good as I thought it was going to be but gave me something to eat for tomorrow but I won't have to cook unless I warm up or make some rice. Tonight I just use Chinese noodles which works pretty good I may do that tomorrow. I know what may have confused me now that I'm thinking about why it got so late. It's the stupid daylight savings time. Now the sun doesn't even sink behind the mountains until 8:00 p.m. that gives me the weird feeling that it's not as late as I think it is so at 8:00 p.m. I think it's a lot earlier so I don't use my time like I should think that I've got more time to do it it all sudden I realize it's 10:00 How Bizarre. That's excuse I'm going to use tonight and it's a good enough excuse for me. I did go over to the coffee shop this morning I even got involved in some of the conversation that was going on around me. The people there seem to like me okay I just can't keep up with their conversations or burrow into their table. I went to the shop earlier than usual today I don't know why about half an hour earlier. Lot of us old guys talked about how weird it was that the Artemis exploration thing is getting as much attention as it is. I mean we all went through the walking on the moon landing on the moon thing years ago. Which I think is a lot more significant than just doing the whole loop around the earth thing. Like I said I still have lots to do before I can go to bed. Looks like tomorrow I have breakfast with Marc Anthony over at the restaurant and I don't know what I'll do after that I think it's supposed to be inclement weather so I might just hold up in the apartment again watch movies hang out read my book. I certainly have enough to do..

Weekend equals Pizza Time

 It's hard to believe I'm looking down the barrel at another weekend! Why is life going so quickly for me I don't understand this. However that's not such a bad thing I'm enjoying my life it's not like my life is being painful. It's just going so quickly makes me a bit paranoid sometimes. Having said that I've been thinking a lot about pizza lately. I know that seems rather irrelevant compared to what I was just talking about but it's true. I would really like one piece of pizza and that's all. I'm hesitant to order a whole pizza from where I would like it but that's way too much calories and way too much carbohydrates so I don't order a whole pizza. I don't purchase a whole pizza from the market. I've done that before and I like doing that but again it's the same situation I don't need a whole pizza. I miss the old days when you could go to a pizza shop and buy two pieces of pizza the soft drink and call it good that would be your lunch or that would be your dinner but doesn't seem I can do that anymore. People keep telling me there was a couple places around here that one could do that but I don't believe them I haven't seen them yet. This might be true somewhere up in the university area. Students still live on pizza I'm sure. They probably make money off selling pizza by the pieces.

I guess I'm kind of a pizza snob I just don't want to eat any kind of a pizza but now things are getting somewhat desperate. Today I went out foraging for a container that I could put coffee in, you know, ground coffee. I brought some flavored coffee from my local coffee shop couple days ago blueberry something and it's okay it's just a weird flavor for coffee. It would be good for like a dessert coffee or something like that I can see that but not for 6:00 in the morning wake up coffee. But went across the street from where I live there are a number of little shops that I thought might have something like that but alas I struck out nobody had any little cans or containers that you could keep coffee in. However, there is a pizza shop. It's a chain Pizza organization basically doing most of their sales and home delivery of whole pizzas of course. I usually don't even give these guys a second thought because I've had their Pizza in the past and have not been impressed- - they had a store pizza shop there in Murray where I used to live and we bought a couple pizzas from those guys and I was never impressed with this pizza. However I was in the area I rolled past the front windows and the pizza smelled good in the pictures of them looked good. The price was acceptable so I thought about maybe I should give these guys another shot. Even if I did however I'm still stuck with the problem of what am I going to do with a whole pizza? I don't know this joint if the pizza was halfway decent it made it a lot easier to go get one and just roll back to my apartment real quick it could be done relatively fast. I think it's a Pizza Hut or something like that it's a chain but I'm not that desperate yet. I have enough stuff in the refrigerator right now to get me through the weekend maybe…

S

My market miracle

 I don't know why I consider going to the market a major portion of my day but I tend to and I always feel the same way at the end of the day. Things that I count rather significant today was going to the market and then before that going to the social coffee coffee social thing that happens every Thursday at this project. I've written about the coffee social before in this document. It's that Weekly get together where coffee is served, it's suggested a dollar donation but they'll let you have it for free, and I guess the point is that the group will sit around and talk and socialize which is good I guess. It took me a while to get into the mode even though I always went. I didn't think it was mandatory or anything like that just seemed like it was something fairly decent to support. In the beginning there are a lot more folks that went to this function interestingly they were white folk. The number of them got older and died of course but then there's a number of them that stopped coming and I don't know why I think because other colors started showing up mainly Brown. I can't believe people would stop coming just because different color Stars showing up more than the others that's just plain stupid. I'm glad I didn't stop coming I look forward to meeting with these people every Thursday morning. They work real hard to have good treats as far as having something to eat with your coffee it's usually some form of cookie or sometimes people actually make something to bring in that's kind of nice I would settle for donuts- I would always settle for donuts. Sadly we hardly ever have Donuts.

The market was just the market just the market around the corner from my apartment complex. I went mainly because I thought I had meds I needed to pick up it said so on my email. But when I got there there were no meds for me in fact they advised me that I was out of refills for my one medication that I need but the good part was it we got the ball rolling they called the doctor's office and hopefully soon they'll have my meds refilled. While I was there about more useless stuff that I didn't really need like five or four pre-made hamburger Patty's I really want to try some of the recipes that I seen on my laptop recently. They also got some soup mixes that you use when you make these kinds of things with your Crock-Pot that's kind of exciting. Oh I remember now! I had like $30 worth of things to purchase and when I went to the line I realized I didn't have my wallet. I had somehow left it at home. Embarrassed I told them to put the stuff aside and I was going to run home and get my wallet. At the time I wasn't really sure that the wallet was at home I thought maybe I'd lost it on the way. But then the guy in front of me some young study looking guy pretty rough looking “said no I'll cover him” . And he did! 30 bucks- - 30 bucks I didn't have to spend. I wish I knew how to get a hold of him or else I could see him again not gladly pay him the 30 but that's not going to happen sometimes it's just the best to accept the miracle…

Low energy Blues

 This may be a short blog because the device that I write on does not seem to want to take a charge. I thought I charged it all day today and then when I went to check it tonight it was still like at 32%. So I'm going to write as long as I can and still post and see if I can get this charge better tomorrow. Maybe I have just worn this poor sucker out. I really like to write with it but if it won't take a charge that doesn't leave me much to do with it. The day was a beautiful day no question about it there was a small Breeze but not enough to bother me in my short sleeves. I didn't go anywhere to speak of just hung out here at the apartment read a little bit out on the patio that was about it. Of course I was busy today was wash day so I folded clothes and hung up clothes and I did my arm bike of course. With the help of my person my help we are able to get a new lamp installed on the side of my bed which is really excites me. The lamp that I did have for some reason it was just flickering on and off and kind of driving me crazy I couldn't really rely on it to do it what I needed to do which is illuminate the book I'm reading it ain't giving time as well as help like the room. I really like the lamp light not a big fan of ceiling light. I of course will use it when I have to and now off and I do have to use the overhead light. The big problem is the switch to turn it on the front of the room by the door coming in and my head is that the officer end of the room however I've learned that I can reach it with the long stick. So when I do need those days when I got to have the overhead light and I'm in bed I can turn it on and off with my long stick and that's cool. In a nutshell that was it for today. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have more power and I can dictate longer and maybe this is just it for this particular item. I might have to start looking for another flat screen or handheld riding device.

Saved by the lotion

Sometimes I wish I had more going on. I appreciate the meetings in Gatherings that I attend from week to week. Sometimes I think I could do more but in the back of my mind I have this weird thought complex indicating that I'm not doing more because my body won't let me do more. I know that sounds kind of strange but it's true. Sadly, I think I'm just wearing out physically speaking. I know there's something going on with my rear end I'm not exactly sure I attend to it every evening and morning with this special lotion that I found which works I think really well and has allowed the skin to stay intact pretty well but I kind of think my skin might be turning or shredding and when that happens sometimes I think it's all over. It's just a matter of time until all you're doing is skin maintenance and not much of a life. I know this sounds pretty dire but I don't know what else to think. I have a meeting with my physician in a couple weeks and I might bring this up. I'm a little intimidated to do so just because I don't know what they're going to do with this happens and what they might suggest. I think if it gets to the point where I'm actively bleeding are the pain is so great that I can't sit up maybe I'll take quicker action.

I asked my caregiver every morning when she hoists me up transfer me from my chair to my shower bench check out my butt and she does and I think Faithfully to what she sees and what she knows says it's okay that my butt looks just fine. I have a lot of faith in the person she has done a lot of caregiving and gone through a lot of consumers and has seen a lot of trauma physical trauma on butts and other parts of the body as far as skin breakdown goes in pressure sores and such. Since I've been applying my lotion to my skin two times a day morning and night I felt that my skin has been responding very well. In fact I'm no longer really even put it on what I used to call the second skin or the first skin a very specialized plastic tape to cover the skin which would prevent the skin from shredding and such from transferring back and forth from bed to chair or the rocking motion of the body against the fabric when in the chair driving for one point to the next especially over long distances. I've also been trying to maintain better pressure release procedures you know lifting yourself completely off the cushion. So I know that I've been trying to be proactive and trying to minimize the effects of skin breakdown but again I'm haunted in the back of my mind thinking no amount of procedural inputs going to stop the end result. I really don't look forward to days and days of laying in bed waiting and waiting for my body to heal. Then of course there's the quality of life issues this would render which is about zero. Maybe I'm just expecting too much but still this is how the end begins I'm sure of it

 

No chicken tonight

I zero out the miles on my chair every night or at least I try to. This gives me a great idea or a constant of how many or how far I go in today's time. If I recorded this information it would be pretty good stuff for the accuracy of how much I travel in a day. Anyway, tonight as I just about finishing the day I have 3.0 miles on my odometer! I've done more of course in the past and three is actually a good number All Things Considered but just shows that I've been busy today in order to Garner 3 miles on this chair. I was able to do that and do my hour arm bike workout. I made a list over the weekend of all the things I felt that I needed but I keep forgetting every time I go to the market and I remember when I'm done and back home it's just so frustrating. Simple things like a bottle of mouthwash or another box of sandwich bags the list goes on not big items but items that I use on a daily basis and once that I've gotten them I should be okay for an extended period of time. One of the things I got that I took a chance on was the lamp to replace the broken lamp at the head of my bed that I use for reading and getting up in the morning on the mornings are dark. I'm not sure if the lamp that I got will do the job I think it should since I only use it as a reading lamp. When working correctly that lamp does throw off a good amount of light I do like that on a generalized basis for that part of the bedroom but I was more involved in getting a lamp that I could read with. I'm still doing that trying to get to bed thing with enough time for me to read a couple chapters in whatever volume I'm attempting to saw through at any given time. I was totally surprised cuz I thought Walmart would have a better selection in fact that's where I got the lamps that I'm using now. I decided to get a lamp that didn't use traditional light bulbs- it says it's an LED and the lamp bulb is included with the device. Was just at to see how good the LED concept is.

I have so much food in this apartment that I live in with all my canned goods that it's hard for me to justify buying anything already made. Today while I was in Walmart I rolled past the pile of roast chickens that they have for purchase to take home and enjoy. I've actually taken a couple of these chickens home before over the years and it really does make for a great dinner as well as a great leftovers which would have been my justification. Though I would have eaten at least one leg. The chicken smells so good and in the winter time they're so hot it's nice to roll around in the cold roast chicken underneath your jacket. I didn't purchase one tonight however I've got stuff I can make noodles or rice veggies and canned chicken cuz I do have these chickens or pieces of chicken that will work just fine for such a meal. It's not like using real meat taking off the bone and that great chicken skin that you get with a roast chicken but it will suffice once the rice is made the vegetables fried and added to the rice and the meat they'll still turn out to be a great meal. It's still not like deboning a chicken and all the joys it brings.

 

Happy Easter

 I'm kind of getting the impression that April's beginning to stabilize as far as it's weather is concerned. Today I will not say was absolutely beautiful but it was very nice, very spring like it almost inviting to sit out and just get basted by the sunlight which I did for a little bit. The day started fairly early for me I was kind of shocked when I woke up and saw that it was 455 a.m. and you'll remember that on Sundays when I meet the kids for breakfast I have to get up at 5:00 in order to be sure that I'm dressed and ready to go when it's time cuz we usually eat breakfast at 8:00 a.m.. I was kind of proud of myself I rolled out of bed without issue did the transfer into the chair straight forward and then negotiate myself to the back of the seat. I actually made relatively good time and very rarely stopping to yeah they're all over just hang out. I was finally ready about 7:35 a.m. but I've been contacted by Mark at some point in time requested another 30 minutes or at 8:30 a.m. appointment breakfast. Usually this irks me a little bit but not this day I could use the 30 minutes which I did. A little concerned about Mark however that I could see that when he's suggested 8:30 a.m. that he did that around 3:35 in the morning this morning so even if he takes a nap or two before breakfast he's still been up for a long time. I can't say anything because I suffer from not being able to get to bed before 12:00 usually so I can understand. I try to hold back for saying anything just being the good parent Observer. It was just the two of us for breakfast and that's okay I think we had some good conversation and touched on some concerns and issues that we might have with each other and are the rest of the family. I could see Mark was nearly exhausted and he still had some work he had to get out and do before I was able to do anything else today. He continues a pretty strong relationship with his ex and I don't know how productive or even healthy this might be but it seems important to him that he's able to do this. I keep thinking it eventually not be rewarded enough to keep going but certainly hasn't been not yet. Mark talked about another year trip very soon next month I think he said I think it should be pretty interesting.

Breakfast was the high point, I'm glad that I had it. I really didn't feel up to going anywhere else today just using up what time I could in the sunshine. Thursday or Friday I made tuna fish sandwiches and kept them in the court zip up bag. I had this for dinner a very low key dinner with the remainder of my broken potato chips. I thought it was pretty good dinner good enough to watch the local basketball team that I support or at least watch get trounced again. I basically turned the game off in the second quarter turning on the last 4 minutes of the game where they were almost 40 points behind. It's so weird the commentators don't seem to be too weird that out about the fact that they only have 20 wins in the whole season maybe a few more than that but not much. I'm kind of excited about the new week should have a couple days of fairly decent temperatures especially Tuesday when I'm sure I'll be traveling downtown. Happy Easter!

Saturday's reveal

 I think I had a minor Revelation today not really sure but I'm still thinking about it. I've had this experience a couple of times now that it's not the holiday but it's close to the holiday usually the day before and I get up and go to my local coffee shop which is luckily right across the street from where I live and I'm shocked when I see that they're closed. There's a sign scribbled in the window that they're taking off the the day and the holiday. This is always a shock to me or it was now I'm finally getting smarter. Today I actually called the shop around 6:30 a.m. right after I got up and sure enough they at least had a message on the machine indicating that they'd be closed today and tomorrow that would be open again on Monday following Easter. I was already awake it's already up so it's not like I can go back to sleep. I got up and got to my day.

The cold front finally moved it's cold ass out of here leaving much cleaner air and clear skies. The sun shined bright. However the remnants of the Canadian Air stuck around and even in the sunshine it was still relatively chilly another long sleeve shirt weekend. I thought this cooler weather was what was keeping me in the apartment and enjoying my Netflix and other internet platforms. But today was nice I could have gone out and done something but the revelation that I think I'm talking about that I've had is that I really won't do anything by myself. Oh I usually do something off and on but unless I'm committed to do something or even something like just showing up at the coffee shop next door and sitting by myself at the table watching everybody else visit I don't do anything. At least when I do the coffee shop thing I have something to talk about and I'm open to the possibility of something happening. It doesn't have to be something big and humongous like a function or something just anything that kind of commits me to doing something that gets me out and gets me going. But just to get up and do something as opposed to kicking back and watching an episode or a movie or something on one of the platforms I belong to I think I like to do that more than anything even if it's something I've already watched. I must say though I'm getting into the habit of making a better meal options sometimes. I hate exploding my kitchen and just me it would be better if somebody else was there I could cook for but that's not reality. So I'm going to to try to start cooking modular meals that I can have in the refrigerator pull them out and make it real two or three course meal for dinner or breakfast even this morning I had driven itself meals had cooked earlier this week for breakfast and it turned out pretty decent actually. A few spoonfuls of mashed potatoes, an egg that was cooked the other day with part of the ham that I cooked and I had it sliced a little bit. I even had a banana to go with it. It was a real meal. For dinner I had to last bit of Chinese food that I had with my friend Dwayne when he came over this week for lunch I still had all the fried rice left in a separate container that I mixed with their last of the broccoli beef. It made a great dinner probably more than I should have had but maybe if it's Chinese it doesn't matter. I haven't cooked anything for tomorrow which I probably won't now. It's late I'm getting tired but tomorrow will probably be just a meal of burritos, or a can of Stew maybe or some other fast food I might have in the freezer. I like to keep sending meals easy. It's just hard to ask for one person..