Day after

 It really is a mystery to me all the things one has to do to convert their account at their savings Institution in my case it's the credit union. I thought I was just about finished with the whole conversion process when I learned I had to establish direct deposit options for the two checks I have coming in every month. One from the Social Security Administration and one for the state of Utah. I don't know why this stuff is so intimidating to me it just is. That's quite proud of myself yesterday when I really straightforward with the SSA got the direct deposit setup really no problem however when I went to do the state it was a different rascal. They of course wanted me to download some kind of form to fill out and return to them or perhaps show up in person and do it like that but after yesterday's major issue with unscheduled bowel movements I really felt a little uncomfortable being too far away from the apartment and today I elected to just stay home pretty much. So, I have to download the image of the form from my email fill it out then return it to the state of Utah. Fortunately for me the amount of money I get from the state is so inconsequential that I don't have to immediately get this finished or done. Eventually when I do the funds will be sent to my bank account. This took a major portion of the day to kind of work through and even then I still have to contact my credit union to figure out what I need to do to go directly to my account to see what the status of my balance is. For some reason of course that has not been accomplished but I have time for that. I know there's probably another zillion items that I haven't remembered that needs to be addressed due to this conversion process but hopefully I've got the major ones taken care of. The others if they want their money will have to contact me and let me know to forward them the new credit and debit card information they will need.

The day turned out much better than I anticipated with all the clouds and the cooler weather of this morning. I eventually drove my chair across the street and went to the market to get some bananas to help with my problems right now. Of course I sort of went crazy and got a lot of other stuff that I thought that we needed or I needed but probably could have gotten along till the next payday. I don't know everything's up in the air I just want to see how things work through the next month or so to make sure that everything's online with my credit union. I also picked up some yogurt today at the market 10 yogurts for $4 makes it sound like it's a deal. I'm strong believer in yogurt and the fauna inside my gut even though the yogurt that I get is relatively worthless as far as having the organisms needed to grow the fauna but I still like to believe and add it to the bananas I think it'll make the big difference. At least it Justified me going across the street

Stomach problems

 I wasn't feeling that well this morning when I got up it really felt like I had a full bowel no question about it. I think it was the meatball sub that Jackson got for me yesterday. Real food, my stomach wasn't ready for real meat I guess the only different thing in my diet lately so I think that started something but anyway I felt like I really needed to do my responsibility thing and go in and do the meeting that assist. Like I said I felt like I was sitting on a full load and I thought I would just take it step by step and see where it got me see if I can make it through the day which I did actually got home but I was feeling pretty crampy by the time I got home and actually called Melissa indicate that I didn't think I was going to make it through the night that she needed to be ready and then later on that same hour I contacted her again and said I need her to stop by and see what we could do see you at stop by at 6:30 p.m. before she went to weather clients. I tried to sit as quietly as I could so I didn't juggle or jerk anything around but by the time Melissa had got to me I guess I had already begun to unload by the time she got me in the sling I was really feeling woozy and put the bucket underneath me and I dropped a load into the into the red bucket. Spent the rest of the time on the toilet and then into the shower cleaning up. Melissa does such a great job I certainly appreciate her willing to work with me on the weird stomach things that I have going on it seems like. She cleaned me up and took off to her next client and I'm sitting here now just hoping that the yogurt and the banana that I ate along with a piece of lunch meat well hold me through the night and not activate anything else and see what tomorrow brings. I may have to have some cottage cheese or something to settle my stomach or maybe a Pepsi that might work. I just want to get back to some form of normal poops and really I've been pretty lucky all things considered more so than most folks I think. I'm thankful for what I have and what I am and what I do. Melissa has fixed my bed and so I'm hopefully covered there pretty well or uncovered or whatever it is I need to lay down

C B&C Monday

 It's tax day and I barely noticed. They did talk a little bit about it this morning on the morning news that I listen to as I get ready for my staff to get here I'll give you my shower and such but aside from that it's just another day. I'm so glad that I'm done but the whole tax thing used to kind of freak me out if I get too close to it and think I might be at risk. Nothing Spooks me more than the thug booted tax man of the US government. But aside from that was a pretty productive day for the old guy. Of course it's Monday so I had Melissa threw in a load of wash and then I actually accomplished the cooking of the corned beef and cabbage! Seriously I threw the corned beef I purchased on Saturday into the Crock-Pot this morning around 10:00 and then basically let it do its thing. Like a dummy at some point I turned it off thinking I was turning it on low then realized my mistake turned it back on high and cooked it for a couple more hours before dinner time was closing in so that I threw in the vegetables the carrots, potatoes and of course the cabbage. It all turned out really well and because Marc Anthony gave me those great canisters bowls for Christmas or Father's Day or my birthday or whatever it's easy to save the leftover corned beef and cabbage for another meal or two or whatever I choose to use the leftover for I may go back and purchase a couple more briskets just because I couldn't believe how cheap they were at the market on Saturday. Just My Luck they're probably all gone now but they were in a bad price.

So the clothes are washed and folded I just have to put the pile of shorts over on the clean clothes pile and I should be done for the day. Melissa change the sheets this morning which means that I should have a really good night sleeping tonight with new sheets and the bed made up nice and neat. I still have a mess in the kitchen I need to clean up which I will do just a little bit tonight and leave the rest for tomorrow when I get back from my work downtown. I might clean out the Crock-Pot tonight just because it might be easier to do tonight than to wait for till tomorrow the dirt might be a little more loose tonight so when I have to wrestle it down. I still have pretty good time for him to do it in so I should be able to get to bed pretty decent time tonight get my reading done. The rain didn't come like they said it was going to but it certainly looked like it might at any time and for that reason I didn't go to the bank today. I've got to go to assist tomorrow so that means I will be downtown close to the bank by the Taco Time downtown so that should be good enough for me to go in there and get my business finished. Aside from that was a pretty good tax day. Stay away from the tax man.

Savoring Sunday

I woke pretty early this morning wanted to be sure that I was dressed and ready to go by 7:45 so I can make my 8:00 a.m. breakfast with the kids. I ended up waking up around 3:45 and not really getting back to sleep and finally getting myself up at 6:45 so I had roughly have 2 hours to get ready for my morning breakfast at the restaurant. I lost about 20 minutes getting up because I inadvertently last night as I backed my power chair next to my bed to roll into the mattress or onto the mattress I inadvertently ran over the cord to the pendant that runs the electric bed, the one with the buttons on it the device that lowers raises it sits me up in bed raises my legs. For one I didn't want to run over the Box and wreck the control box even though I know I have another backup control box in my drawers out front in the front of that apartment as well as I didn't want to unplug the unit from the bed itself which would make the bed non-functional until I can get somebody to Monkey into the bed and replug the control box back in. That of course has happened more than once since I've had this bad and it's a pretty frustrating event. What I finally had to do was get myself situated so I can make the rollover into the chair and then drop the control box itself so it hit the floor flat which flattened the cord itself and then carefully, slowly oh so slowly, Advance the chair forward rolling over the cord. I couldn't do this while the control box was hanging off the hook that I generally use because it raised the cord up off the floor right in the path of the wheels of the chair. This was a total Act of Faith that once I drop the control box it would hit the floor and lay flat and paid off because that's exactly what happened I slowly inched forward and soon I was totally off the cord and it was behind me lying harmlessly on the floor and I was free to roam around the apartment. Normally I'm not this cautious and I've destroyed so much over the years by not having the patience to work something out. Needless to say I lost 20 minutes but made it up dressing and luckily I was the first one there so I was able to secure the table and have a cup of coffee and wait for the kids to arrive.

It's cloudy and overcast now at this Lake Point on Sunday evening. The storms rolled in it'll be cold and wet tomorrow and so I plan not to do anything until Tuesday when it will still be cool but the rain will have moved on. The basketball team I've been following all year, the first time I've ever done such a thing, Utah Jazz lost again this afternoon. I was quite frustrated for a while till I realized they were breaking in a bunch of new players and this is how you do it. I'm not used to losing so many games that one shot but I need to learn the lesson of sticking up and for a group you believe in and see how they do. Now basically basketball's over until next September or October. I guess there's something called the summer league and games like that but I don't know about that kind of stuff anyway pretty decent Sunday….

Hanging around

 

I hope I'm not sounding like too big of a boob but my wrist my left wrist is just now beginning to heal from trauma from last week I guess I gave it from using my trapeze above my bed to lift myself up in the mornings or move around in bed at night if I need to move around. Since I have any hand function to speak of I have to use my wrist bent over the bar on the trapeze to pull myself up and somehow I think I damaged my wrist and stuff because resulted in a lot of pain this last week. Of course I'm trying to favor the wrist as much as I can but it's the only functioning piece of body part that I have to get me out of bed in the morning and swing into bed at night. Actually I could do the old roll into bad thing that I used to do without the trapeze but I tend to use the trapeze just because it's there. This is almost frightening when I sit and think about it too much because if I look to lose my left side that would be it for me I don't know how I could continue being independent at all if I were to lose my good arm and wrist. I'm thinking however that I could replace the steel trapeze with a wide Loop, cloth Loop of some sort, this would mitigate the strain on my wrist I think but still allow me to lift myself up and maneuver myself around with the overhang over the bed. Hopefully, I'll continue to heal my wrist in lower arm in the next couple of days and I'll be back to the old self and just be very careful not to overuse that risk again. I'm pretty sure this has happened before and I've gone through this before but I can't rightly remember right off. I will try to make contact with my pt/ot in the next couple weeks to see if I can get a loop like I'm talking about I think it would be a wise move on my part regarding the longevity of my Independence.

The high point of my day was going to my credit union to close out my account and open up a new one because of the tricksters who got in a hold of my account information. I was told that I could come down today after 10:00 and then be able to go ahead and close the account and issue me my new cards of course that didn't happen. There was a huge line when I got there, at the credit union, and when I finally did get to a person to help me she really didn't know what she was doing and I think we pretty much closed out the account but she was unable to give him my new cards today and said I'd have to come back on Monday which I think is going to be rainy and very challenging but we'll have to see I've been there like three times this week and that's no easy trip to do with the buses. It's quite frustrating but I should have it finished soon hopefully. I may wait until Tuesday to go over to the credit union and finish the job. Or maybe hit the Credit Union downtown Salt Lake that I go to when I do my work at assist ink…

Almost 80°

 I should have recognized it the second that I saw it but I wasn't thinking too much this morning when I saw this message come across my tablet indicating that something or someone was trying to still 465 dollars from my account and that if I wanted to stop them or report the issue the click on the link that was at the bottom of the page- - which I of course did like a fool. This was exactly what the perpetrators wanted me to do so they would have an access to my online business account. I became frustrated and eventually called the credit union itself which then started a weird and strange process of closing out my existing account and opening up a brand new account which is quite tedious and frustrating. All I know is that now I'm going to have to think up a new password and account business as well as opening up a new credit card or debit card it's also frustrating. So, I decided I would just jump the bus and go down in person and at least get some cash out of my account because once they close down my account all services die for me special getting cash out of the money machine. That was my big trip for the day going to my credit union and getting out a few dollars and then waiting for the whole thing to begin. It really is someone intimidating cuz it took me forever to memorize my last account number so that I could just throw it out anytime I wanted to say nothing of my password. We'll just have to see how it works holding fiercely to the belief that things will work out as they are supposed to.

I stopped at the market on the way back of course to pick up the things I forgot yesterday which was tomatoes to cut up for my concoction. I really like to use real Tomatoes as opposed to the ones in the cans though I do like the canned ones as well they're diced tomatoes and they actually do taste like tomatoes so I guess it's sixes there's just something about the real live chopping up the tomato and adding it to the mixture. I got the tomatoes but I forgot to get cucumbers. Suppose I can wait until Monday for new cucumbers or perhaps tomorrow I can run over during the quiet. And get some cucumbers. I found that Tomatoes actually are relatively high in iron so it's good that I'm eating so many tomatoes these days. I'm still somewhat intimidated to begin taking the iron tablets prescribed for me. It's just the whole idea of being constipated from iron tablets as just not too welcome. But it's part of the process, Lucy indicated that I was bleeding this morning not very much just a few drops but still I need to then jump on my horse and make arrangements to get to the whoever does the job to get myself cauterized or tied off or whatever the process is and finish off the whole experience of the colon problem. Kind of freaks me out too but I just got to jump in and start the process this is all new Mark taking care of himself maybe. Anyway, the temperatures today we're almost 80° so it's quite Pleasant to sit out in the sun until the sun start getting blocked by the clouds. Tomorrow it will not be quite as warm as a cold front begins to work its way into the area but maybe I'll be able to get enough done that I'll be able to pretty much enjoy Sunday and Monday and possibly Tuesday and the rest of the week as the cold front wanders in and brings the temperatures down just more spring happening…

Dandelion signs

 

It's been a long day I'll be the first one to admit that for some reason I was awake at 5:00 a.m. this morning couldn't get back to sleep and I probably shouldn't because today is a 9:30 a.m. day with coffee social so I'm always want to make sure I'm up on Thursday mornings so I'm not late for social. But come on 5:00 a.m. and I think I was awake a little bit before that even. I was kind of excited for the day however they had indicated it was going to be warm and that's what I've been looking forward to for months now. The coffee social is relatively uneventful. Just a few of the people that are usually there we're there but a lot of people didn't come don't know what's going on something seems to be happening around here on a social level I'm not sure what though. Anyway, my glasses have been driving me crazy ever since I rolled over him last week and really sprained the temple out so my goal today was to settle up head into the city go to Costco where they have a pretty significant eyeglass place and see if the one of the people there can bend my frames back into some form of wearability. And they did amazingly. I think I scared the little person to death she wasn't sure if she could tackle the job and not break my frames further but she did a great job and been holding together really good the rest of the day. But what really made my day probably more than anything else because I was heading out for the bus inbound and all the sudden I was captured by all the yellow on the lawn and sure enough it was an inundation of dandelions, the poor man's flower the flower that grows anywhere it seems like especially loves the spring. I actually love the yellow color that it gave everything. I went a little crazy taking images because I couldn't really see the image through the viewfinder because it was so light outside so I just shot from the hip so to speak. And the flowers came out pretty decent after all they're basically weeds but they're beautiful weeds and I've always appreciated the yellow Bears of spring.

One of my favorite pieces of software that I have on my cell phone is the app that ties into the UTA bus line that let you know exactly where their buses are at or when they're going to be at a particular bus stop. I can use this to ascertain when the buses will be inbound at my stop by the park that takes me right into Costco area. Trouble is I have to use the sidewalk to get to the bus stop it's difficult to do when they stick these giant signs right in the middle of the sidewalk then I've got to figure out how to get around them in time and still get to the bus stop in time and not miss my bus. Today was an easy go around but other days aren't as easy I think I was just happy to be out and enjoying the sunshine….

To Market to Market

 Already it's Wednesday that means tomorrow, Thursday is Coffee Day and then Friday is on us and what's another weekend? Time is going so fast that I'm forced to sound like an old fart always mentioning the speed of time and how little time is left for someone such as I. Still hopefully I have a few good days left. I've done something to my left wrist this is the wrist that continually pulls me up to the sitting position for when I'm leaning over to my right side my weak side. Somehow I've done something to the wrist portion that I have to spend some time rehabbing it now back to some sort of usability. Scary thing is that when you're a quadriplegic like myself or a partial quad or whatever you want to call me losing one of your extremities like that can be almost lethal since you rely so much on my arms to keep me going. Hopefully a good night rest and showing the wrist some favor in the coming days will heal it up like a sprain. I look for my painkillers today I couldn't find them they're not really paying Kellers they're just my bottle of those items just bigger than an aspirin I can't recall the name of them right off. Maybe I'll look for them a little bit more before I go to bed tonight cuz I know I had them just last month or so. I'm having to rely on them more and more I've noticed of late. I just seem to be getting more and more sore all the time.

I actually made it to the market for the first time this week spit and more than I wanted to everything is getting so high it's almost spooky. Just for a few items it cost me $36 and a large portion of that was the green grapes. I did buy bananas as well so I have two pieces of fruit. But still I'm sure the grapes are like 10 or 12 dollars cuz a 395 a pound and I'm sure I got 3 lbs worth at least. But that's the price of doing business right now and I'm glad that I can afford it. I don't know what I would do if I were living just hand to mouth. Interesting however I did visit with my neighbor, carol, who is hemiplegic walking ability though and she's just been awarded something like 70 hours of Home Health Aide for a month that's really pretty decent but she's on Medicaid and I still think that's a very high price to pay for daily Medicaid assistance. I'm still not at that point thank goodness I can still function. Melissa had to put a patch on my butt this morning which made getting around today a little bit easier especially the trip over to the market. I need to be careful not abuse the second skin. The days light is now stretching significant. Still pretty dark in the mornings when I wake up around 6:00 a.m. but it's certainly getting dark later and later. It won't be long the seasons change…..

Tuesday's tidings

 I almost turfed it again this morning on my transfer to my chair. I'm really not sure what I did wrong cuz I thought that I placed the foot pedals up high enough that my feet wouldn't slip off I am having some issues with the covering on the foot plate actually there's no covering it gets all bunched up towards the back and then it's just the hard slick surface of the foot box giving my feet nothing to Klingon to and slide off. This morning I pulled the rabbit out of the Hat by being able to touch the controls of my power chair and tilt my chair back and scoot back into my chair. It took a long time to do this it was still just by luck that I was able to pull it off. And of course last night when I went to bed I forgot to put my cell phone next to my bed so if I slid out of my chair I would not have been able to contact the fire department around whoever else I might be able to use to pick me up and get me going again. I'm trying not to focus on this Behavior but just seems like I'm getting less able to do the transfers. The other half of my body says give yourself time you'll get back into the form but I don't know when do you have to start making the hard decisions? I suppose I could delay the whole concept if I already get my chair in and get the foot box worked on maybe so it would catch my feet the way it's supposed to so if I continue to work on the right equipment despite keep me that much more independent. This kind of brings up the question I have to deal with Marc Anthony who's been actually really sweet and offering to going to the house rental with him. I just don't know this kind of freaks me out to think about but maybe it is the answer for extended Independence with assist. Lots of questions to wrestle with I'm just thankful I have them cuz it could be a whole lot worse and I'm really thankful to be where I'm at at this point in my life no matter what the situation is I've been really fortunate but that's enough syrup for tonight..

Monday's moans

 This was obviously a small box day, small box day from Amazon! I really become quite addicted to the whole phenomenon of receiving boxes and boxes of stuff which I ordered from Amazon. Sometimes they're big boxes sometimes small boxes sometimes bags but they're all gifts from Amazon. Of course gives that I ordered for myself and many times I forgot what I've ordered and I'm always surprised when I finally find something sharp enough to cut through the layers of tape whoever sent or wrapped my package felt was needed to secure the valuable contents. I'm just amazed at the amount of boxes Amazon Central must have to manage each day's shipments. As I said the heavy box today was one of two. The first box the light box was medical stuff which I'm totally thankful I can receive by the mail. The other box the heavier was quite baffling and it took a bit to get inside and I finally did. I was surprised yet somewhat pleased it was the four cans of spaghetti and meatballs I got from Chef Boyardee. One of my favorites I think I wrote about it last week. Four cans tightly wrapped in plastic, from the factory no doubt, someone had to take the four cans and match it to a box that would fit it snugly which they obviously did. I'm glad I didn't get the case of spaghetti and meatballs which I seriously considered. Poor little guy from Amazon would have a hernia by the time he delivered my case of Chef Boyardee. This was more of a test than anything else just to see what it was like to order the can product and to see if I wanted to do it more often in days to come. I kind of feel guilty as I stuffed one empty box into the other this evening right before I took him out to the dumpster and heaved him over the side. The boxes were great, in great shape and still very sturdy and I'm sure could have been used for a host of any number of items. There was a time when I would keep such a box around the apartment for how ever long before it either got trashed or somehow thrown away. Truth is, I just don't need this stuff around anymore I'm trying to declutter.

Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs or catheters they all come in boxes from the big black truck from Amazon. It's A Brave New World out there if I really wanted to become the isolate I feel I am sometimes and now I realize I could totally live on home delivery. I would never have to leave the confines of my little apartment I don't dare know how this would work with fresh fruit and such but I'm sure there's a way to do that. My ex totally lives off home delivery and doesn't quite well and she does use fresh vegetables quite a bit and rarely has been disappointed with the service she enjoys. I still have a hard time pulling the trigger and going for home delivery. I totally believe this winter will end temperatures will rise and I will be set to enjoy my trips across the street to the market where I shop for myself without the assistance of the little cardboard boxes or whatever else Amazon is using to ship these days...

Sunday's utterance

Had it not been Sunday morning and going out with the family for breakfast it would have been another day of me totally doing nothing except watching television, movies all day! I will not say it's an addiction per se but something might be happening with the amount of screen time that I'm developing and not even feeling bad about it. I at least one of them movies was not on Disney I actually did a Netflix and it was pretty decent I'd seen the movie before of course but it was nice sitting down and watching it again as I wandered back and forth between the TV room and the kitchen getting a spoon of peppers and such here and there. I thought about doing a special lunch but that didn't happen either even though I actually went through the efforts yesterday of boiling rice slicing up to fairly plump pork chops and today actually getting some celery that I plan to use in making celery rice tomorrow I guess since I didn't make it today and actually silly rice is just my name for stir fried rice and today or tomorrow it'll be sliced pork chop stir fried rice if the broccoli is still functional I'm not even throw some of that in there too. Do you want to hear something really interestingly weird is that me with all of my Utah Jazz support and annoyances over the past couple of months since they started this giant losing streak. Out of curiosity this evening as I was turning off the television for the last movie I'd watched I thought what the heck I'll just check and there's a game tonight! In fact it's at the halftime right this second as I dictate this entry. Of course the Jazz are losing and I think they've dug themselves so deep that they may not have a ghost of a chance of getting out of the hole but who knows? I would be totally surprised if they were to pull this out but I think I'm safe and thinking they're going to choke again. Looks like there's just three more games this season and then everyone can take a rest. 

Conference weekend

 April 6th is a special day to Mormons it's a day when they are the churches reestablished on the earth after couple thousand years. Pretty interesting I've often wondered about the dates that tend to pop up here and there over and over again an April 6th is always a biggie. So today is the general conference often called the Spring conference when all the good MOS get together especially now that they can get together again down at Temple Square and have the big Powwow. It's televised nationally internationally. Pretty interesting really when you look at it I've always been fascinated with the technology involved and how the churches broadcast itself throughout the Universe. I didn't watch any of it of course that would be too spooky to say the least however I was kind of interested since they went out of their way to Warren the population that because of the age the feeble nature of the body some of the ga's wouldn't even be there in person they'd be there by telephone by television and the others would give their presentation seated as opposed to standing at the podium. 3/4 of the body is over 90 years old that's amazing to me. I almost watched it just for that fact alone. Another interesting fact that I found over the years is that April 6th many times is very inclement weather for the spring conference today there was even snow and very cold temperatures. That stopped me from going down in person and watching the folks come and go. You never know who you'll run into during conference weekend always kind of fascinates me. But as for me and my house I stayed in the apartment pretty much all day except for a couple garbage runs. I just didn't feel like going out and getting cold I and becoming a weak person..

Friday night fidgets

 Another good day to stay in and just enjoy the apartment. I did not get much sleep last night mainly because Melissa said she was coming in today at 6:30 a.m. and I just wanted to make sure the coffee was ready and everything was ready to go at that time of course she didn't show up till about half an hour later but the coffee was made and we are ready to get on with the show. Everything went pretty straightforward shirt and shoes and ready to go and not really anywhere to go to. I didn't necessarily want to spend any money today that I didn't have to. So I just figured way to stick around the apartment enjoy whatever was on Disney Channel Plus and work on some of my sticks that need rubber on the ends for friction. So I certainly gave the illusion of doing some kind of work after all I had to cut some pieces of plastic material that I used to rubber band the end of the sticks for the ability to push things on and off and to keep the stick from Rolling off the bed or sliding off the bed. The end, the non-slip end, also assists in keeping my foot on the stick as I use the item to pry my foot up over the other leg so I can get my shorts on and my shoes. I go for a period of time with all of my sticks banded and ready to go then all the sudden I lose all the plastic ends and have to start over again it seems it takes me forever to get to that point today was the point where I was able to work a couple of pieces of plastic on the end of sticks that will help out for a while. The main goal is also get some more sticks to increase my hooks as well as just stick sticks or dressing sticks.

I'm trying to train myself from not going to the market everyday just for socialization. I could buy something everyday that I felt that I needed if not for that day for the coming weekend or something. Today I would like to have gotten a couple bags of chips another bottle of orange juice for my weekend. I have a bottle of orange juice to get me through I believe and I do have a can of chips- they are definitely not my favorites- - that should do. Luckily the weather seemed a little inclement enough that I did not suit up and go across the street. I believe I have enough cash to get through the weekend and do whatever else I might need or want to do. Of course, the weather is taking a dive temperature wise and there's even snow called for the next couple days even here on the valley floor. This of course is more on us for me to stay inside except for I suppose I can pull my red jacket out of the closet if I have to make a market run. After all it's only going to get to the 40s maybe the upper 30s and I survived winter at much cooler temperatures. Who knows I might suit up for orange juice and other bits of fresh fruit just to get by. Of course tomorrow Saturday and I'm thinking of going across the street for coffee at 9:30 I don't know if my Compadres will join me we'll have to see…..

Chicken soup or Mexican

 I would have liked more sunshine today but even though the clouds seemed overbearing the temperature wasn't too bad as long as you took a wrap with you in case things got chilly or wet. I listened to the weather and she did not call for rain but I learned not to trust the weather lady awfully much. I took my heavy Hood with me just in case. I decided I would finally make the rush to the bus stop and wait for the next 217 Southbound to catch a movie. Coffee was uneventful except for Clarissa who indicated that she would come over and sweep my floor. I did not necessarily want her in my apartment but she seemed rather forceful and I didn't know what else to say. I kind of blew her off and hope that I defended her to the point that she wouldn't follow through and then me taking off to the movies hopefully she showed up and I wasn't there and she took it personally that turned out not to be the case.

I should have known better but I was intrigued to see the Third Edition of Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters 2 was not as good as the first which is no shock so it shouldn't have been shocking that third would be as an eventful. The movie wasn't too bad but it wasn't very good either. I was pleased that I had enough points to get a free popcorn, small and drink, small so I only had to put out for the licorice. There's a lot I didn't really understand about this new movie I'm not sure what points they were trying to make as far as the Frozen world of the Ghostbusters. Seems to be a Motif lately in superhero movies. I just ate my popcorn and went with the flow. Following the movie I decided I would use my card that Mark gave me for Christmas or my birthday I can't remember which a year or so ago to his favorite Mexican restaurant. I like them good enough I just never appreciate their food when I get it but today I thought I would use the card get what I could take it home and eat it for dinner. I ended up getting a bunch of meat I hope beans and rice with very hot sauce we'll see. Of course I came straight home it was just a little bit after 3:00 p.m. and I jumped on my arm bike to do the last two 20 minutes giving me 200 minutes for the week and of course Clarissa shows up while I'm strapped to my own bike comes in and start sweeping away but she's also brought chicken soup. Of course that throws me completely off since I was expecting to have the Mexican for dinner so I ended up having soup and crackers and watching the news. Admittedly the soup was pretty good I have enough for another meal and I still have the Mexican dinner so all in all it was a very good day for dinners..

Spaghetti and meatballs yum!

 It was truly spring like today temperatures got in the low 70s. Not a perfect spring day but much better than any of the days so far. I didn't take much Advantage however electing only the dash across the street and pick up a few things from the market and mainly get cash for letters and help that might come in and assist in cleaning up the apartment a little bit. A couple of my home health folks often will do that when they need money which is a gift for me though it's not very dependable as far as knowing when they'll be available. Poverty never takes a vacation and it's a shame that these Gallant workers are kept in poverty earning just enough to survive, purchase a drink or a Saturday night party or just the essentials. One of my favorites contacts me only when she needs quarters for a wash. Oh, I always tip her more than the $10 in quarters she does a good job when she focuses on the kitchen. She sleeps a good floor mops here and there but by and large is just a kitchen girl/person. I would like other parts of the apartment done at some point in time but doesn't seem to be in the cards for right now. However Missy my main CNA does a great job of sweeping up and she did today. Yesterday was a jazz game day so that means I had popcorn and I had all kinds of things that go Crunch and fall on the floor and then needed to be swept up. Missy what's right on top of it and I felt truly blessed. I worked out today coming to my bike 60 minutes. So, that makes 180 Minutes so far this week tomorrow will be another at least 30 minutes bike ride which will give me the 200 minutes I need. I did my bike pump after I got back from the market. I purchased a couple cans of Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs one of my favorites I only wish I had an open campfire to heat them up on. There's nothing better than Chef Boyardee tinged with camp smoke to really bring out the true flavor. I did however have the remainder of the container of cottage cheese have been working on for a week or two which I think also adds a great deal to the experience of enjoyment of a Chef Boyardee product especially the raviolis. Parmesan cheese certainly adds a great deal to anything tomato based if you ask me. I wish I had the courage to order a case a Chef Boyardee that would be certainly nice and I still might do it at some point. In fact tonight for dinner I had a can of Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs with cottage cheese it was splendid probably more calories than I need and I would have eaten more had I had it and not felt like a glutton if I had. I now have three other cans a Chef Boyardee I'm just waiting for another special reason to enjoy a special dinner +

I worked out today coming to my bike 60 minutes. So, that makes 180 Minutes so far this week tomorrow will be another at least 30 minutes bike ride which will give me the 200 minutes I need. I did my bike pump after I got back from the market. I purchased a couple cans of Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs one of my favorites I only wish I had an open campfire to heat them up on. There's nothing better than Chef Boyardee tinged with camp smoke to really bring out the true flavor. I did however have the remainder of the container of cottage cheese have been working on for a week or two which I think also adds a great deal to the experience of enjoyment of a Chef Boyardee product especially the raviolis. Parmesan cheese certainly adds a great deal to anything tomato based if you ask me. I wish I had the courage to order a case a Chef Boyardee that would be certainly nice and I still might do it at some point. In fact tonight for dinner I had a can of Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs with cottage cheese it was splendid probably more calories than I need and I would have eaten more had I had it and not felt like a glutton if I had. I now have three other cans a Chef Boyardee I'm just waiting for another special reason to enjoy a special dinner

Another Loss

 I should have done more with my day but I didn't. There was no assist meeting today so no reason to go into the city which was sort of sad I look forward to my days that I get or have a reason to go in and hang out downtown even for just a little bit. I did however get up got dressed relatively quickly and want to cross the street for coffee. I didn't stay very long at all I really wanted my coffee back at the apartment and just to enjoy my morning. Since there was nothing pressing I ended up watching some silly thing off Netflix but it was entertaining that's what I was looking for nothing much more than that however. I only had one shoe on today I had the other shoe on at one time but it quickly fell off as I was trying to get my feet situated on the foot pedals right after I got dressed and I figured since nothing was pressing I would just leave the shoe off all day and see where it went and it didn't go anywhere. I've got myself convinced that I can go anywhere as long as I have one shoe on it gives the onlooker the idea that I at least care enough to try to wear at least one shoe. They'll make up a reason for why I didn't have the other shoe on probably something to do with disability and sores and feet and stuff like that. I wish I had more to write about, maybe television is rotting my brain stifling my creative process to the point that I'm not thinking about writing anymore. That's kind of a sad comment but I think it might have some credibility. I need to get back into a riding mode, like Lori is. She seems to be putting words on paper on a regular basis it's got to be admirable. She really does care and Jerry for that matter also. I just don't seem to have the fire anymore possibly a spark but that's just about it.

Finally I found some razor blades that will fit my older razor- - remember I left my razor and shaving cream at the hospital this last time I was there? Well I bought another razor and the backup blades I had from the razor I lost would not fit the new razor I got which is a Mach 3 or at least takes Mach 3 blades. Yesterday while I was in the market looking for a Razor I happen to notice this box of blades pretty cheap compared to the others and said it except Mach 3 knockoffs blades. So at least now I have a built up razor that I can use to shave that will take mach3s. I would like still to get the other Gillette razor for the blades that I have stockpile. I think if I keep my eyes open I'll see such a instrument who knows maybe that hospital still has my Razor and cream that would be kind of surprised however. I'm always quite amazed at how much I like a good shave close nice and smooth. Is Tuesday night I'm about ready to jump into bed read if I can. I watched the Jazz play as much as I can stand it and then had to turn off the tube and come to bed they're just have no left as the season wanders down. Just a couple more games left in this season I would like to see them when one more game before the season wears itself out but that may be asking too much…

April Fool!

 I got through the day without having to deal with one snippet April Fools remark. Granted I didn't really go out of my apartment very much but still April Fool's Day is April Fool's Day. I washed clothes today or more accurately Melissa started the clothes that I finished them and just finished hanging them up just a few minutes ago. I have been washing pretty consistently on Wednesdays but for some reason that's gotten out of whack I don't know if it was to stay in the hospital or whatever but still trying to get myself back to the old routine. Maybe I can hold off next week and start washing again on Wednesdays it just gives me more to work with through the rain of the week close wise. The weather was more the same actually cooler in some ways as far as temperature goes not really Pleasant to be out in but I did run to the market for stamps. For no other reason except for stamps but I did pick up a few items as long as I was there some fruit and more milk from the dollar store. I really love the whole milk that you can pick up at the dollar store in their little packaged boxes that will last for a couple years. I just love having a large quantity of whole milk available something should happen that I could not get regular milk. Plus the boxes are small and convenient quart size. I use the boxes for just drinking throughout the day and I want to drink milk and then Melissa likes to use the milk in her coffee. The perfect day for Disney Plus and more specifically Marvel movies I watched the first Captain America today actually it's entirety I really do like the Captain America concept and particularly the origins movie. Fortunately I was able to get through the movie early in the evening then I had some quiet time in the apartment hanging up clothes from today's wash and enjoying the apartment All Things Considered.

Perhaps the most interesting part of the day was Mr Ed showed up from youcat. I really thought he was coming last Friday so I was sort of shocked when I ran into him down by the front office and he was just getting ready to come down to the apartment. He was or is going to fix my shower chair basically putting on the new casters. Well as things go that didn't happen straightforward seems like the caster has been more than just rusted it's bearings it's actually rusted or become part of the plastic around the housing of the wheel. He wasn't sure he could actually even get to it he finally did and ended up taking the whole shebang back to the ucat office and worked on it there bringing back a semi repaired chair we'll see. He only installed one caster cuz it took so long and it was so hard. We still have the other Caster now so if we need it we can go back and try to fix it. I may still hold out to see if I can get another chair from the IL. I don't know what my standing is with the operation now since I resigned. What kind of tired today, I worked out on my arm bike so that should help them sleep side not that I'm having problems I am not. Just makes sense though if I retire myself out even for more I should sleep that much better.

Months End

And just like that so ends another month but I have to admit it was an eventful month after all I was in the hospital for 4 days! I just hope April is going to be more productive than March at least I'm looking to be spending more time outside. I just switched off the TV in the last quarter of the Jazz game I couldn't stand to watch the boys flail and Flounder another night another game. I know I should be more supportive as the boys learn to play together and develop the new team but it's just hard to spend so much time waiting for them just to be choking all over the hardwood floors. Again I'm sure they're exhausted they do a good first quarter usually fairly good second then explode losingly in the third and last quarter of the game. Really is just too painful to endure at least for me.

It was not a particularly cold or wet day just overcast and kind of gloomy however, I was fortunate enough to have breakfast with Marc Anthony and Jasmine. I enjoy spending time with those two. I'm so impressed with Jasmine and her work ethic and her study ethic. I think she's really going to do well in her academics and she just might go all the way to become a nurse. I mean I'm proud of her already but to have that are in or whatever degree she's looking at getting I'll be more than impressed. I was able to get the printed letters into their envelopes as well as with the money into the specific envelopes. Sealed up the envelopes and now all I have to do tomorrow is to run across the street purchase a book of stamps and send the letters on their way and April will be done. I really would have liked to have got them out yesterday or today but I kept forgetting to pick up the stamps when I was at the market. I'm giving up tricking all the way to a post office and then going through their stamp collection to find something unique and exotic. No I'm happy just to buy whatever stamps I can get in the book which took particularly covers me for maybe 3 months. I still Maybe drop into a post office when I find myself in the proximity. Maybe the Murray post office I don't know if I want to travel all the way to the post office on Redwood Road that's a long trip. There is a Mountain America in that area however and possibly could get rid of two birds with one stone.

I noted with some interest that the other two individuals who resigned from the board of directors at the Independent Living Center last week also submitted a formal document highlighting their resignation. I have not done so and I'm wondering if I should. It certainly probably the most professional thing to do in this particular weird scenario. It should not be too difficult just to Bootleg the letter from one of the other guys change the wording and then use it as my formal resignation from the board of directors. Feel like kind of a creep but the same time it was a creepy thing to do to Holly. 

Easter Eve

 The bleakness of the clouds continue today but the temperature is not too cold it was bearable for me anyway when I decided to make a run for it across the street. I probably should not have cuz my butt feels a bit in jeopardy however I needed at least I thought that I needed tomatoes and a few other things to get through the weekend since I don't like to do any shopping on Sunday if I can avoid it. I watched too much Marvel as always trying to have a reason to lay back in my chair and save my butt. This morning when I got up once again the foot riser mechanism was not working total frustration on my part. This is a crucial part of my power chair and when I must have working all the time in order to dress transfer among other things that are vital for my Independent Living. Fortunately for me I was able to get a hold of Melissa who just happened to be on our way over here to clean Apartments this morning and she wants against stepped in and saved my life. Perhaps I'm being a little over dramatic but still I've got to get that thing fixed at least so that it works. Melissa seems to have figured out what the problem is there's a plug of some sort on the side of the foot box that comes unplugged at some point in time during the night. It must come after I mess around with the foot box to make sure it's tilted up the right way so when I transfer in the morning I can do so safely. However whatever I do I mess around with this plug and it gets unplugged and I'm just at the mercy of for that foot box is tilted. But really kind of freaks me out is that in order to fix the chair I'm going to have to give up the chair for whatever it takes. Really makes me frustrated. I reckon I just have to be patient and hope I can get through this technological nightmare. That means I will probably have to rely on this backup chair which I don't have a lot of faith in on a bunch of different levels.

Perhaps the most productive I was today was I finally got started on the kid letters. I pretty much got them dictated and this evening I was able to print the envelopes so my day was not a complete loss. Tomorrow I'm going to try to print the letters get them folded, stuffed and sealed to send off the 1st of April.

Basketball yawn

It seems like I'm losing gas as far as my support for the local professional basketball team goes. They just started their last quarter in there just about even with the other team or vice versa, the Jazz actually has been leading tonight put you in my estimation is a bit of a rarity, and I think I know they're going to choke for the nights out. At one time it was more important to watch the end of the game as opposed to doing anything else but now updating my blog and getting ready for bed is prime in my evening routine now. Win or lose I could read about it tomorrow on the internet I actually do have a jazz peace whatever that's called and that will list whatever the results of the game was first thing if I'm so interested when I first wake up. Watching the Jazz game is about the high point of my day to say the least. I don't know why I just didn't feel too motivated today my butt's a little tender and I could have gone somewhere and done something but it was more important to just stick around the apartment. My one caregiver who is not my caregiver anymore but she does a lot of my house cleaning when she needs money nothing on a regular basis but she was over today and did a great job on the kitchen area before she had to leave that was good for me it really spruces up the place for the weekend and I'm pretending that's going to be a special weekend because it's Easter but I don't know what I'll do different this my granddaughter gets really motivated but she does quite a bit in this kind of stuff. My goal now is to get through the night without any issues at all get up without any issues and meet my friend from upstairs over at the coffee shop. We've actually missed our coffee group morning for the last 2 weeks and it would be good to get back into the swing of things. I have a confession to make and that is I am way behind on getting my kid Letters Out this month it may be even after the first of April before the letters get finished and out. I don't know if it was or is my attention to the Jazz and it's taking up more time than usual or whatever but I just can't seem to sit down and be good dictating. I am going to have to invest in more stamps but that should be a big reason not to get my letters written also I want to make sure I have enough $10 bills. I wasn't able to make it to the bank for say so I'm having to get by with just the hundred I got out of the machine the other day but that's all twenties. So I do have change so one kid is going to have to get Maybe 10 bucks in change. It all spends the same and I'm hoping the happy with it. I wish I had greater thoughts but tonight I just want to get off my butt into bed and enjoying my novel…

Of arm bikes and raindrops

Once again it's 10:00 p.m. and no matter what I do I just can't seem to really get to bed earlier than this time and even now it's probably be 11:00 before I finally roll into bed and call it a day and take a few cherished moments to read a few pages of my current Stephen King novel. And it's not that I've been lazy it's not like it's a jazz game night. I'm just busy busy busy take so much energy to keep an apartment or house going. I just don't even know how I could do a house. Anyway, of course it was raining today and I had a doctor's appointment in Murray at the Death Star. Yesterday would have been perfect since it was no rain but the rain wasn't too bad actually I didn't have much rain at all until the last part of my trip home this evening or late afternoon. My morning doctor's appointment was 10:45 it took me a while to get there and I mean like getting up getting dressed and what have you. And I did a new Twist on things today rather than struggle and struggle- - and I did struggle a little bit I need to have done so but I just didn't want to sit around and do nothing- - I had Melissa drop by and help me with pieces of clothing that I was having problems with and today of course it was the shoes. Had you come earlier she could have helped me do the button up on my shorts. I think I spent 15 to 20 minutes trying to get my shorts closed but finally I was able to accomplish that task.

I don't know if it's my imagination but today for the first time in about a week I got back on to the arm bike and peddled for about 30 minutes. It was pretty arduous because I used the hardest setting that I usually use on Monday mornings or Monday rides and I didn't do 60 Minutes I only did 30 because I didn't want to really do any damage or really I just didn't know if I could struggle for 60 minutes in all honesty. But I did the 30 minutes afterwards I think my arm is felt better than it has for quite a while as far as my fear as far as the stenosis of stuff baby it is all in my head and maybe I just need to keep working out. What are the best things that came out of my appointment with the doc today at the Death Star was that she's going to write a prescription for more physical therapy and of course I don't know how many docs I have have promised that and I've never had any I've never gotten this the script to have a Richmond of physical therapy and what I was eligible for. So I don't know if I give this person anymore Credence than the others but we'll see if I can get some more Physical Therapy occupational therapy are both it might be tons as far as my belief of being able to stay more independent in the upcoming months. Either way it's been a long day today I took garbage out and I washed some dishes and I think I just ate more than I should have I even got a dog from Costco when I realized I could go to the money machine there instead of having to go all the way to Mountain America facility get cash so I have it in case I needed to pay anybody in half $10 bills for letters this week/ month. But like I said it's 10:00 and I better get to bed.. 

Support friends

 I continue to struggle against the infirmities of this body that I am charged with. I'd like to think I'm getting big and strong and once again good to look at but reality says that it's the Autumn of my life if not the strong winter or the almost end of the winter. All things being said however I meant pretty good stay with pretty good friends and Associates and family they're making my day-to-day struggle to maintain myself at some level of credibility and responsibility and Independence. I don't know if you can use all those words in the sentence like that but hopefully it conveys the feelings that I'm currently going through. Each day I feel I'm getting a bit stronger and after a day like today where I kind of made the mistake of eating a little pizza before I went to a meeting with the writers crew which turned out to be a lunch and had a pretty decent solid then and then tonight bought a big old T-bone steak actually about two of them gosh $21 worth and fixed one for dinner and ate half of that steak. So today was a major caloric day but maybe that's good because not only will it help build some red blood cells hopefully it will also give me enough fuel to get back to maintaining myself a little bit better. I need to get back into my physical regime as far as working out everyday for an hour or so in all that noise. Maybe that will help in getting back to some level of normalcy. I meet with a physician tomorrow supposedly to go over the resolved so the night plural that I spent in the hospital recently. I want to bring up or set up an appointment to bring up the fact that I feel I'm actually losing the ability to use my arms again like I've having another stenosis. I think I've written about this already to some degree but tomorrow I need to step up to the issue and start the process of looking to make sure that's not what's Happening Here and perhaps there's some sort of regimen that I can use to combat this this loss of abilities even on a minor level. And if not fine just like the dislike the colonoscopy at least we'll get that written out of the way and we can go on to the next step. As long as I have my home health person, who came back today already I feel more comfortable and beating my day today with my life as it is. I know if I have problems I can call Melissa she'll help me. Anyway I think it was a good day for friendship enjoyed hanging out with the two buddies that I have who seem to care for me and noticed that I've got something weird going on with my body as well. I had better crash now I've got to get up relatively early tomorrow and get ready and go catch a bus to get to the doctor's office for my 10:45 appointment. I'll be glad to get this out of the way and go to the next step..

Bounce back

I must be getting better or at least stronger. Pizza and chicken and rice have been producing a pretty good result in my overall feelings about life in general. Life does not look as bleak as it had before and now with a little bit more foodstuffs things seem to be turning around also with the concept of my home health person coming back from vacation I'm putting a lot of Hope into that as well. She seems to be a constant in my life and she's there when I need assistance it may not be immediately but it comes along eventually. It's always strange when someone comes back from an extended absence whether it's vacation, Hospital time or leave for any particular reason and you're wondering if things will pick up where you left them off or will things be different. I don't know and right now I don't really care but I do hope. The last Home Health person was extremely good on one level but extremely bizarre on another and just sort of freaked me out over other CNAs. So with good luck my home health person well studly things up a little. Now I just have to commit- - even if my caregivers tend to clean up every once in awhile after they put me in the shower or over the toilet I can't depend on that all the time I'm finding out. I'm just going to have to get some house cleaning done this place is getting near zero chaos. I've spent the whole day working on trying to bring some sort of order to the chaos which included another trip to the laundry. And cooking a dinner of rice and chicken which is great which will assist me in food for the rest of the week as I still have half a pizza left that I finally bagged it through in the refrigerator. Now that I've got the food thing covered I need to figure out a way to do some more grocery shopping. I really grew much weaker than I anticipated leaving the hospital. And only now do I feel the strength that's coming back from my diet. I still have an ingested steak but I am eating the rice which the Research indicates is a good producer of iron and I just need to open a can of spinach here and there I was intended to do so with the dinner tonight but didn't work out that way. The stove was pretty well covered with dishes and frying I just didn't have a place to do easily the spinach if I opened a can- - Diane is really been insisted that maybe I should look at getting some frozen broccoli and other frozen vegetables like spinach and just pull them from the freezer and do the microwave trip without having to do a lot of the food processing I seem to be getting lost in right now. Usually it's not been a problem but whatever's going on with my body as far easy preparation is a key factor. It just feels good to get back in the saddle and being able to be getting back to my independent status or is independent as I can be given the circumstances of me…

Recovering

My care giver today once again Jeannette Same lady who covered came in to help me I think over the weekend period she was a good caregiver then but I really didn't demand very much attention just cleaning up a little bit getting myself ready to go to do the day Today was different in that it was the usual it got myself up today and then she finally shows up and she is really stickler on the one-hour thing So when we were done with the hour she pretty much justleft period we had good conversation and we didn't really have any any problems but what she'd left I noticed there was still fecal matter all over the toilet and parts of the floor in such There were gloves on beside the toilet on the floor stuff I had never seen other CNAs leave behind or they're taking care of it and the only thing problem that I can think of is that she just did as much she as she could during that one hour and that was enough period granted I did ask her to do quite a bit of stuff regarding clearing off the table because I had a pizza coming in that Diane sent me and then a few other things and that kitchen area as well as remake the bed I didn't wear shorts today for fear of pooping So I dig out a shirt she wasn't going to help Well she was going to help put it on even if I was past the time but I sort of struggled into the shirt and was okay period It was just different than genetically worked with over the weekend almost Twilight Zone stuff period I'd like to think that of getting better like I said I didn't poop I did have a diaper on a bib or whatever and I haven't felt any pooper anything period So as pretty much sentence to apartment today period and What I did do though was forced by self to get the garbage out because it was really getting full of a lot of fecal matter covered Chucks's and others things linens and stuff period So I don't know quiet or so hard for me to do that but it took me all day to get that garbage out and then I got real random bucks just and tried to actually I did I wash clothes and I want to make sure the sheets were cleaned when look when Melissa fits back to be able to put on the bed period still chilli at night and that would be very helpful to me period I just don't know what else is going on period I did make rice and cook the two hamburgers that I had in a refrigerator for some time for dinner is really quite good actually the only thing I really needed to do was have some spinach to go with it but I I still have quite a bit of feel like opened up a can of spinach tonight period I still have a whole lot of rice left and one burger which will make another great meal and I still need to use up the rest of the chicken and maybe have some either new rice made or Save some rice and have chicken gravy over rice that would be sort of good period dear reader rewear all these periods are somehow result of me say in the word period, I don't know why it all the sudden started changing from the dot to the Word seems to be driving me crazy though that does this every once in a while period the jazz lost again tonight which is kind of surprised to me They look like they might have a chance period but they don't are they didn't and they seemed to be careless But again this even retired but can't be tired for the rest of the season maybe though last a bunch of games so far period hopefully things be better tomorrow. 

Sick sick

aurday

I don't know what's going on with me but something sure is. This morning when I was trying to transfer into my chair I made a bad chance for it and didn't fall but I caught my leg in the armrest and I couldn't get it dislodged I even called the resident advisor he tried as hard as he could we eventually called 911! They came out and rescued me it was all pretty nice but certainly made me chagrined and make me want to make sure everything was in place when It again. I'm coughing enough to be sick. What's worse is that now I'm totally out of juice marks and St George so I can't get a fast just that way. I may have to rely on totally tomato juice which is sort of risky. I'm really worried about the transfer tomorrow morning I'm going to work it out as best as I can I don't want to have to run come out again or 911. I think you can only do that so many times before they start looking fisheye at you. I kind of remember when this happened before it was heading as having a stenosis the first stenosis they may have to visit with Diane and maybe see my doctor this coming week and I am going to have a doctor's appointment so that might be the perfect time. I just hope that I'll be able to make the transfer tomorrow. Mark's in St George so there's no coffee or breakfast tomorrow if I can make the transfers I might get up and make something I don't know today I made a pot of rice I still have half the chicken left so I can mix up some chicken and gravy tomorrow which I think might be really good I wish I could have done it today so I didn't have to work on the Sabbath but you know the cattle's in the Meijer. I just stayed in the apartment all day watching movies and seem to be getting more and more sick. Tried to contact Carl to see if he's gotten sick but nothing is going on now poor. I watched the jazz tonight until I couldn't stand it anymore they were losing me like 30 points it was too much pain to bear so I came in to the kitchen cooked the rice and drink some apple juice I want some more apple juice now that's it for Saturday hopefully tomorrow will be better…

I don't know why but I woke up around 3:15 a.m. this morning and I just could not really go back to sleep. I think part of it was the possibility of the excitement of having a New Home Health person today or possibly the fact I just got to poop and shower which has been too long coming. I knew it was going to be a rough day as far as trying to feel like doing anything and I'm still worried about my butt but it doesn't seem to be as painful today as it has been in the last couple and maybe that has to do with the hygiene issue of a clean rear end I don't know. I would not mind going as long as I could without the second skin. It may be causing some problems overall however I think it's helped me get along a little bit. I'm still somewhat apprehensive about the whole concept of being anemic and I'm just more sensitive to anything what seems to be weakening of my body. I don't know if I can ingest enough vitamin A type stuff or whatever it is you have to eat to increase your blood supply as well as blood content red blood cell content. I may have to go the way of medication but I sure don't want to or maybe I need to get some trance fusions. There seem to be a little bit of talk. That might be a possibility.

Jeanette was my new or the Home Health person today an older black lady very nice very bright and easy to teach. She did the Hoyer lift sling very quick very Swift she's sort of a stickler for the one hour that she was supposed to be here but that's okay hopefully Melinda will be back shortly. We did the suppository me the enemy as usual but was a little bit late in my butt was really released poop and it went all over my chair cuz I was still over the chair when I started going and it was just sort of slow her responding but she really cleaned up the chair great I thought and got me on the toilet and I did my business and I got my shower. I think what really should have got me so anxious during the night was how I was going to do this suppository thing for the ulcerated hemorrhoid. And of course she walked out and I forgot all about it. So what I ended up doing was calling Gloria who was willing to come over actually she was going to come over anyway to clean but I think she called me and told me she was going to rechange that but I begged her into coming over to do the application of the hemorrhoid enema or hemorrhoid medicine. It went just so well I gave her 20 bucks for the job she really does need the money my poor or poor Gloria. Other than that I pretty much just watched Marvel for the rest of the day almost all of the Thor movies and part of the Black Widow movie. I had to quit because I'm tired and I need to get to bed and hopefully I'll be better tomorrow. I don't feel that much better today still feels like I've got something I'm coming down with something so I'm just taking it easy. Gloria is going to come back sometime next week and do some cleaning she was appalled at the status of my apartment. It's always nice to have Gloria around…

Thursday night Blues

 I'm going through something I'm not sure exactly what it is right now I don't know if it's related to the fact that now I know that I'm anemic I'm beginning to feel what I think anemic or anemia should feel like. I know that does not make much sense but something seems to. Either that or I'm coming down with something could be I spoke with my brother tonight who helped me earlier in the week and he's definitely coming down with something so we could be dealing with a job that we picked up at the hospital. I should have been wearing a mask the entire time I was there lessons we learn they kind of drive me crazy. I didn't really do much of anything today except battle my credit union / bank and Disney Plus. I got all psyched up earlier this month when I noticed there was a charge by Disney Plus for $118. I knew that they had been charging me around 895 each month for the service which I think is totally worth it but to see this one charge all at once totally free to be out so I spent a good 2 hours today bouncing back between Disney plus and my credit unions tried to figure out just when and how much and which credit card and all that stuff and of course that means I'm dealing with third world country English speakers now and again and what seems like an AI out of 2001 good old HAL. We finally figured out that Disney plus charged me for a whole year at one time- - which is okay it just hit me as a sucker punch. Luckily I can absorb this hit had I not been able to there would have been grave frustration and trying to settle this account.

I'm trying to deal with my empty colon following the colonoscopy. I have a pooped, really pooped in a week or so except for the colonoscopy which I guess has to count. Tomorrow should be the first time. I'm a little anxious because I'm going to have a caregiver I'm not really sure about and break that person in all over again. I think I'm having some skin issues as well and I don't know if this person will know anything about taking care of skin issues or whatever. I can't wait till Melissa gets back she has a pretty good neck at least for taking care of me. So I really haven't done a lot with trying to go out anywhere. I had a meeting I was supposed to go to at 12:00 today over at the buffmyre center but I decided to do it by Zoom and then messed up the whole thing to where I couldn't get the zoom number back after I lost it and I missed the whole meeting. That was real depressing felt a little guilty but not too much. The rest of the day was waiting for the game the Salt Lake of the Utah Jazz been watching them choke again. I guess I have to take the Long View of that this is a learning experience for a good part of the team to work together and play together. It sure is a drag though spending that time hoping then watching them just throw the ball away it seems like. I know I'm not very supportive I never have been on something like this after all it's just a ball game. There's so many other problems in this world to deal with then whether a basketball team wins or loses..

Run - on I know

 This is going to be another fast one, once again I've let my day get away with me and so I'm having to do a less than adequate job of posting tonight essentially I didn't really do anything today except get back into my routine which was good which I enjoyed. I did my arm bike that's probably the most significant thing I was surprised I was able to get back into a whole hour of pumping my bike only wants to sleep once. And that was it I woke up at 8:00 this morning I never sleep that long. I transferred all right into the chair from the bed no issues to speak of took a while to get dressed I'm really wondering now that I know that I'm deficient in iron anemic that I'm acting more and more tired or weak. Maybe that's the reason I'm thinking that my strength is leaving and it's really not it's just the fact that I'm anemic I don't know if that makes sense or maybe I'm just whistling in the dark. I tried to eat my concoction today I certainly added stuff to it I was surprised to find that I had a good size cucumber here in the refrigerator so cross didn't have to get my zucchinis to me. Now watch the game tonight once again they lost but I'm getting used to that so still big deal it's what they do but they do good sometimes as well and I certainly like the players I wish they would play the ones I really like but they don't seem to do that they're all sick or something injured baby. I found out that I need to be at a meeting tomorrow Uptown Salt Lake at the buckmire center at 12:00 I don't know not having my bowels emptied and sometime but like the person the other day said that they were totally empty out for the procedure and that's only been two days now so I still should be good I'm having lots of bowel noise it's kind of Spooks me a little bit so I don't know if I'm going to go uptown for the meeting or see if I can get into it Zoom wise that's a bit of a cop out but still better than pooping my pants all the way to and from. I opened up the package from the hospital and I think I had seven suppositories in it so now I'm really confused I'm still going to go with what they said every other day and hopefully that will make a difference I certainly want to get the ulcer fixed up one way or the other asap.

Somewhere my razor has disappeared. Melissa was supposed to bring it to the hospital or she brought it to the hospital supposedly with my clothes and stuff but I haven't seen any of that stuff come home with me after the hospital so I don't know where it went. I dug around and found a really old razor it's pretty crusted over tried to clean it up and stuff this morning and got a fairly decent shave but it was hard work I was ready to go across the street and buy another one but like I said I never got a chance to go that far maybe tomorrow I don't know we'll see.

Emergency room and Beyond

 You will notice there are a couple days that are missing and that's very rare. I may go back and try to fill them in at some point in time but right now I'm kind of exhausted and I just want to sort of get back online as well as I can. I recently returned home from IH Hospital! I've been there since Saturday which started out as just me going into the emergency room trying to check something out. I woke in the morning to a lot of blood on my hand when I checked my butt before getting out of bed. I had pretty much covered my butt with bed protection sheets cuz I thought maybe I might poop during the night but instead of pooping I basically bled when I got up. When I checked the adult diaper that I had wrapped around my butt there was a bit of a blood stain when I pulled it off my rear end and then later on when I went to get up a few minutes later my hand was covered in blood and it kind of spooked me. I figured today's the day I need to go get it checked out. I had never really had blood like this before at least in bed usually a, remembered later, that I blood like this a lot in the shower and when I pooped so I didn't seem so out of place there but in bed it did and it really was just the same and really about the same amount of blood it just looks like a lot and technically it is because what they found out was that I was anemic or I am anemic. Anyway I just, suited up and headed down to the emergency room no shoes just a couple blankets and my shorts and a long sleeve shirt and that was it I expected to be home that day but they admitted me almost immediately! It was kind of surreal in the funny sort of way. I wasn't really frightened or anything just watching it unfold all the concerns and the tests and going to my room and finding the bed and all that kind of stuff.

I forget but once again I was faced with the problem of able-bodied regular hospitals really don't know what to do with people with disabilities. At least around me anyway they always think of the worst and they always are just super cautious kind of drives me crazy and that's what it was for the the week are the days that I was there basically three days and finally it ended today oh the reason why I was there for so long was because I had to get a clear poop in order to get a colonoscopy and that's what I was in there for it was a colonoscopy to see how bad the damage is really was. It took me like 3 days and 3 gallons of prep fluid to finally pooping up poop out to have nothing but water coming out that they could do a clean colonoscopy which they did Finding just hemorrhoid damage that is going to have to be cured by inserting medicated things up my rectum like an enema. It's very complicated that it got even worse just as I was trying to get out of there this evening. Like I said gallons and gallons of prep laying in bed sometimes watching TV sometimes playing with the phone just surviving the day and then the nights. It was a real challenge and it still is they sent me home with a prescription to get at the hospital of the things to stick up my butt every other day next week and hopefully that will have a healing process on the ulcerated hemorrhoid. Other than that everything looks good no polyps no other kinds of issues as far as cancer warnings go which is great they indicate I don't have to do another colonoscopy for 10 years or for Life whichever comes first. It's been a long week so far it's only halfway through I plan to rest the rest of the the days if I can get away with it…

Friday's Fare

I don't know what we did to my butt this morning after the shower. I mean we didn't do cancer anything different we actually put new tape on the right side of my buttocks but whatever we did it's made my whole back end a bit sensitive today especially to the way that I'm sitting. So much so that I spent a large part of the day leaning back in my chair to take the weight off of my hips. Of course I've had access to streaming services which helps a lot in that situation. I did go outside once to dump a load of garbage into the dumpster it was so cold I couldn't believe it. Very cold wind was blowing however the sunshine was out and certainly looked nice but I wasn't going to be able to go anywhere and do anything because I'm tending to be a Wist these days. I did work out of my bike for about 35 to 40 minutes well I listen to NPR but that was about the most productive thing I did all day except for the usual making coffee for Melissa this morning. I tried not to think about times that I might be wasting. What was enlightening however with the visit with my sister my BIOS was that my biological father actually died from cancer. I think it's the concert starts with a P but I can't put my name onto it right now. All I know is now I have to really start thinking of seriously getting a colonoscopy soon. I just got to figure out again how to do it. It's just difficult to do if you're single and you can't drive as well as do everything else that you need to do to prep for a colonoscopy. I'm trying to not let this wreck my days but I need to be more adult on this thing and hope and cross my fingers I'm not too late. That would really be a sucker punch. Oh I remember now prostate cancer which is which also took out by adoptive dad. I know it's a real thing and it's dangerous it's all dangerous.

Last night I had to texts before I went to bed of my new relationship with my bio sister which is okay but it's just a lot of contact and then this morning when I got up I noticed there were a couple more texts wishing me a nice day and how did I sleep? I really don't need to have this much texting interference with my regular days. I'm not sure what I'm going to do or if I'm going to do anything maybe it'll curtail on its own it kind of doubt that but we can hope. There's so many lonely people out there who really sometimes I think are hanging on by their fingertips trying to stay sane and they need people to support they've been doing that all I know is can wear a person out sometimes.