Friendship

I wasn't sure how I was going to handle my friend coming down from Idaho to spend time with me this afternoon. His wife had a baby shower further south than Utah County but she dropped him off here at the apartment complex and headed out for three or four hours. Like I said I wasn't sure what we were going to do in that amount of time. My friend has cerebral palsy and he uses a Amigo scooter, it's a nice scooter. H got here around 2:00 and the first thing that I did was drag him over to my apartment and show him around where I lived. We talked and talked from the very beginning going over a history of our lives together. At some point in time he had to get some food so we went over to a fast food joint across the street that I don't necessarily like but we went there anyway and got hamburgers. The hamburger I got was somewhat better or significantly better the last time I got there. We're still pretty expensive for a fast food joint hamburger even if it was called Arctic Circle. As a rule I don't like Arctic circles hamburgers at least this Arctic circles Burger but pleasantly my sandwich wasn't half bad. The extra onions and the extra pillow pickles may have had something to do with it. We munched through the lunch, a late lunch, then came back to the apartments and we just gabbed for the next couple hours until the wife called said she was on her way to pick him up. The time didn't Zoom by we talked a lot we renewed a lot of old experiences and talked about possibly doing new experiences. I think I've explained before that we initially met at Camp Easter seal, a group of rustic cabbage built on Lake Coeur d'Alene a truly beautiful setting. I don't know if we're going to get together soon again as winter is about ready to set in and he's quite a ways from the border at least from here in Salt Lake to Blackfoot Idaho. Maybe we'll be able to spend some more time together next spring and summer and we'll focus on such a local Gathering of ourselves. His wife attends a number of meetings down in Utah County throughout the year so maybe he'll get a chance again soon to settle up and come on down and we can figure out something else to do. We're just a couple of old geezers now just trying to make every moment count and not forget our shared pass..

 

Autumn Heat

Autumn heat is a different kind of heat then summer heat I've come to realize. It's okay it's just different like the last couple days have been beautiful and the temperatures have been in the low 80s. Before the equinox 80s degrees with sunshine is hot almost uncomfortably hot if one has to stay out in the sun for an extended period of time. But as you get close to the equinox and go post Equinox 80° is just comfortable. It's not too hot and when can easily stay out in the sun without much issue at least that's the way it is for me. I even had to wait for a bit of time for the bus this afternoon and it wasn't the unpleasant experience. I just been to the bank to get cash for letters and I had to wait for almost 30 minutes before the bus got to my stop. There's a bit of a breeze but quite pleasant, just the same it's like I said Autumn heat is a different kind of heat. Having written this I kind of remembered a little later on in the afternoon sitting out on the patio, in the sun, the temperature did get a little uncomfortable and I began looking for some shade. I even ate a double stick popsicle and I hardly eat any Popsicles after Autumn Equinox. It seemed the right thing to do. Not much else is happening spending a lot of time or sometime working on the kid letters getting them ready to go out by the first. I wish I had remembered when I was out by the market that I also going to need stamps this go around. Everything is getting so expensive I cannot believe it. I'm really beginning to understand all those pictures of the late 20s and early 30s during the Depression when people could afford bread or hardly anything. Sometimes it really feels like we're going back into that kind of a reality. I hope not but sometimes I think we're really getting set up. This evening it's even thinking about what I could do if I could get a part-time job somewhere just to fend off the rising costs of everything. Actually I feel I'm doing okay at the present time I just don't want to get worse.

Thursday's thoughts

I know it's only the second day into the new season but I must have been insist that I truly am enjoying this Autumn season so far. These days are beautiful cool in the morning but warming up in the '80s by the afternoon. Today was a great day I didn't have any commitments so I spent time reading on the patio after going out to the market and the dollar store to pick up a few items. I got those drink flavorings for bottled water which I really like and really I think it's helped me increase the amount a liquid I ingest during the day. I woke up pretty early stayed in bed till 6 I was able to get up and do a fairly decent transfer. I kind of focused on dressing because I wanted to be done by 9:30 so I could go to the coffee social. I was okay I was pretty well done by 9:15 and the social starts at 9:30. It was a good group today not a good discussion. I enjoyed the time I spent in the sun reclining on the patio reading off and on. Not much more is happening I did start the kid letters first of the month is coming up quickly. 

I don't know what happened but there was something going on with my power chair if it's the front wheels in the front are exactly what but all I know there is this real grinding feeling I was getting driving around the chair this morning and that sustained that way that feeling up until I went across the street on a fairly decent roll to the market and back after that chair is acting pretty much the same. I just don't want anything horrible to happen to the chair in the next couple days or weeks. I did make a appointment to meet with occupational therapist to begin the process of getting a new power chair. This is going to be a lengthy process I know but that's just the way it goes but at least I'll be doing the process. I didn't really even cook today. I used up the last or the rest of the tuna fish so I made the other day. I made a sandwich and had the rest of the soup that I had for lunch and had the same for dinner the other half of that lunch. I had that Mormon soup which is pretty good I was surprised. I have a lot of cans of it so I'm happy about that. It said from that I anticipate going to bed early tonight in hopes of getting even more accomplished tomorrow

 

Follow up appointment

I had one thing on my agenda today really, which was to go to a doctor's appointment at 2:30 in the afternoon over at IHC Hospital complex. I still don't know why I made the appointment as late as I did basically ate up my whole day. After I finished my Wednesday routine with Melissa I pretty much hung around the apartment. I got myself a breakfast toast and Cheerios pretty much it was a pretty good breakfast and not fried or really salty or anything. I was kind of shocked when I suddenly realized I was only an hour and a few minutes away from when my appointment was supposed to be and I had to get all the way into the community college and then still take the bus over to the hospital area. Luckily I was able to pull all the rabbits out of the hats was able to get to the hospital a good half an hour before my appointment. The office is on the 8th floor of the big buildings over at the hospital area. I used to like to go up there and look out over the western side of the city often to the Horizon towards Wendover. But however the windows seem dirty today on the outside for sure. I guess they're not really spending the money to employ folks to go over the edge and keep those windows clean looks pretty bad however it's almost depressing. My appointment was for 2:30 I was supposed to be there by 2:15 and I was there by seems like 1:45 it could have been 1:30 for all I know. They checked me in and I just sort of hung out in the foyer looking out the window and playing with my cell phone until they finally came and got me for my appointment. I was seen my first, by the nurse who text my blood pressure and stuff and just be prepped for the docs that'll be in 15 to half an hour later. My nurse acted kind of spooky she indicated I had super high blood pressure. I did have spam for breakfast and toast with butter so I could have increased my salt and giving off strange reading. Later on the MD negated that information and he did indicate he too light spam a real guilty treat. It was relieved to find that this was just a follow-up appointment that I made last year. I had a good discussion with the nurse and then later on with the doc who really treated me well and seemed to enjoy the information I was able to give him regarding my lifestyle, history historical as a child and then later on is an adult Independent Living movement most specifically the ilc work. The doc was truly impressed. Then he sort of backed away bowed out and another doctor type of person showed up we had a great discussion even told him about my blood in my stools he said it was all sounding pretty normal to him. Turned out to be a pretty good guy I mean I've gone to him for a number of Seasons now can't seem to remember him he's kind of nondescript maybe I'll remember him now however you seem to make a connection. I even told him about the bloody stools hey basically just shut it off which is cool with me. We had a really long discussion a lot of my historical stuff came out he seemed relatively impressed and we resolved to me to get in one year the same day pretty much a year from now about the same time

 

Great Expectations

Today was a gift. There was no meeting in Salt Lake so I didn't have to go into town today so I actually spent time building a breakfast which I really haven't done in the last couple of months just seemed that I've been so busy I haven't really done a lot of breakfast cooking a little bit of the other cooking during the day like this roast and stuff like that but just fun cooking which I did today. Nothing elaborate just good old spam and eggs and we toast. I did enjoy the event. Also, the day was somewhat overcast and rainy to at different points. The temperature was warm enough to enjoy being outside and I did go out outside for a bit. I actually found something I've been felt that I've been needing for some time but keep forgetting. I bought two packages of dental floss something like 255 yards- - that's a lot of floss. They're at the dollar store across the street from my apartment which was like I said not a major trip but it was a nice trip and got me to the market and made me feel like I accomplished something for the day's time. I did my usual too and consumed a couple movies during the poor weather time of the day. But if anything was to make this day more special than the others was a phone call I just got from my buddy Henry, a person from my past. I'd like to say he's a college buddy and he is actually but before that he was a camp buddy.

I met Henry at this place called Camp Easter seal. I think I've written about this before somewhere in this blog I mean I have more than 5,000 postings so I think that somewhere I've covered Camp Easter seal before but it's a camp for folks for kids with disabilities and I think I got shipped there in my second year of disability when I was like 16 or something. I'm sure it was meant to give my parents are the families some space from having their disabled kid around all the time. Anyway, not that we were more disabled than the other kids at the camp but we are kids who had to rely on Mobility devices Scooters or wheelchairs and we were in the special cabin we called it the K cabin just because all the cabins had a letter on them. Anyway, Henry was in our cabin he sort of got stuck there because he fell down and hit his head on a table and had to be at our cabin for the rest of the event it was about 2 weeks if I remember right. We did a lot of stuff some of it within the rules some of it not but we certainly made some bonds. Then like I said later on we met up at the University we are in the same dorm actually. We weren't so social at that point we should have ran in different groups or I didn't run any group Henry was a politician so he had his own group and it was quite active with the religious social group on campus. But now that we're on the other side of Youth way into seniorhood it's great to visit. He's actually coming down from Idaho for a couple hours while his wife is going to baby shower  40 minutes south of town. We should have a couple good hours to hang out. He has a scooter and I think we'll start the coffee shop that I go to every Saturday morning and Branch out from there. It's not like we're going on any long expeditions but still it should be fun…

 

The Equinox is coming

Autumn officially begins sometime tomorrow, the weather guy seem to indicate it would be here sometime in the afternoon. It's not like I can tell are there some giant whistle or Bell or gong that sounds rather just one seasoned silently slipping away to a new season. It's Equinox typical person stay at night, light and dark. The word itself Equinox used to fascinate me. This kind of spooky sound but stood for something really phenomenal I thought I thought it was really cool about the Earth spinning out there in space changing its position so everything was just equal. I suppose this phenomenon last couple days and then begins to tip away from the good old son as we begin our winter phase. It just seems so cool learned about the whole Equinox thing. I actually tried celebrating it for a couple years when I was living in an apartment someplace else and not married just never really caught on. I don't think other people are as fascinated with the whole concept as I am. I mean seriously it doesn't take a whole lot to impress me. I think I'm easily intimidated a lot of people tend to think I'm brave beyond words sometimes but I've got them all fooled I think I'm afraid of a lot of things in fact I can confess that I'm still basically afraid of the dark. I've learned to live with Darkness and to accept Darkness but still I'm afraid I'm going to see things in the dark that I don't want to see. I often get this feeling on I've got all the lights to the apartment turned off except in the bedroom I'm getting ready for bed. I think a really scary thing would be to have somebody walk out of the darkness no the other room into my bedroom just like that. That has never happened the person walking out of the darkness and I doubt that it ever will but I wouldn't surprise me if it did. I imagine dying in my room some evening and someone stepping out of the dark room handout stretched taking my spirit hand and then just leaving through the dark and door to whatever the next stop along the line is. I used to have the same feeling when I used to hook up the hose to the basement faucet doing the winter, also the dark time, and there's a light bulb he had to twist to turn on and I always knew that sometime I was going to turn the light bulb and I would see somebody standing over there by the potato bin just staring at me. I hated that experience but I would have to do it until spring when we hooked the water faucet back up on the other side of the front yard fence to water the beasts with. Or once I was terrified of such an experience now I don't necessarily want to see it but I won't be terrified if I do do meet someone walking out of the darkened front of the apartment…

QA 

Savoring Sunday

My rear end is hurting this morning as I got up but after I got dressed and such the pain subsided it wasn't really a super super pain just an irritation pain again my big fear is possible but I really don't think there was anything like that going on. I try to keep a close eye on going on behind my back but it's just hard. I have my caregiver keep an eye on it too but sometimes I think she doesn't tell me exactly what I want to know because she's afraid that I'll respond by being totally freaked out - that's what I would be but I need to know this kind of things as opposed to sitting in denial. I do try to mitigate the problem of sitting up too much by laying down in my chair as much as I can during the day when I'm not out goofing around. This morning I had to get up get dressed and have breakfast with the kids at the local restaurant. It was a bit of a reunion cuz Mark finally got back from Russia, turkey and other surrounding countries. It was a bit fascinating to listen to his adventures. Following breakfast Mark went on his way hopefully to recuperate as far as dealing with the jet lag and all that he came in last night actually. Jazz and Jackson came over to the apartment and cleaned up quite a bit not there was a whole lot to do except that last night I cooked the roast that's always an explosion in the kitchen when I cook so I did appreciate them taking on the stove top in the sink or I did a lot of the meal prep for the roast and vegetables. I actually had the roast beef sandwich for dinner it was great. I kind of find it hard to cook for myself but when I do I certainly appreciate the effort and the taste.

My task for the week is to contact my wheelchair vendor and start the process of getting the new power chair. For the first time I think I've got most of the people online and willing to do what it's going to take to get the power chair. Of course I'm always somewhat reticent because I know the things are going to go wrong and it's never going to be exactly what I want or ordered but I usually work around the problems and survive fairly well. Chances are this will be the last power chair I ever order I hope it'll meet my needs the way that I wish and hope that does. It's not rocket science I don't know why the sales guys always have such a problem with what I ask. Essentially what I want is a chair that does exactly what the chair of sitting in right now does essentially an elevator function on the seat and the ability to lay my chair down to a laying position. I would appreciate any increase in speed they could lay on me but I doubt that's going to happen I think there's a law or something that says they can't sell power chairs that go a certain speed or a bump a certain speed that might be from the insurance provider who's purchasing the chair's point of view cuz they're going to go the cheapest route they can if they can get the smaller Motors that's what they're going to stick with but I've gotten used to sanction speed and realize that it's for my own benefit. Bottom officially begins tomorrow or day after I can't recall but it's super close now. Good morning feel cool it's not cold and I'm having a bit of a problem staying warm during the night I might even try to put another blankets  on my bed tonight to see if that makes a difference...

 

Cell phone Saturday

I really did not intend to be away from my apartment as long as I work today. My goal was to jump the bus run down to zag and then get back to the apartment and take it easy for the day in an effort to stay off or I keep the pressure limited off my rear end. I'm not sure if I've got some skin breakdown back there but I don't want to encourage any more if I do however things were not to be that way. Remember I had to go to zag to finish getting my phone taken care of. Haven't been able to use it this week because the battery died and of course they didn't have the battery I needed in stock so they had to send away and they did and told me to return in a week which I did which was today or yesterday and they couldn't do it yesterday cuz things are all messed up I can't remember why but they said if I left it they'd have it done today when I showed up around 11:00. Of course that was not to be the person who actually fixed the cell phone put the battery in cleaned it up may look really nice left the protective shell back at another building and they would not be able to get it to me for a great while I told him that wasn't good. I just wanted my phone so they readjusted some of their stuff and had some buddy else run down to pick up the casing. So I went back to Best Buy to wander around and kill time which I did. Eventually, I rolled back to the zag office / store and the young woman who was working with me came out with the phone in hand it was done! I can't believe how much I missed my phone and how glad I am to have it back. I know it's pretty sad but now I feel whole again. Look at messages and voicemails and stuff like that that I haven't been able to look at for a week more than a week actually. I can finish updating my calendars as well as work with my bank. So much stuff has to run through my phone I guess that's the way it is with everyone. I finally did get home checked on the roast that I put on slow cook or a little cook before I left thanks for coming fine. It's been enough time on low I ended up turning the heat up for an hour the next couple hours to cook the vegetables and finish cooking the roast. Supposed to finish by 6:00 and I pulled off a couple hunks of meat as well as some potatoes and carrots. I can't say it was a real dinner like a sit down dinner it was way more barbaric/basic than that it was damn good and I really think the roast that I got was worth the 1850 I paid for it. I threw it in the refrigerator and then washed out the crock pot and moved it back into his little corner. I do like Crock-Pot cookies

More than clip clip snip snip

 I slept pretty good after Melissa got me to bed and left the apartment. There were a number of things that Melissa didn't know how to do as far as placing the wheel the power chair and making sure it was set up for the transfer plus the fact that the cover of the cushion had been taken off and cleaned of all the debris on the cover. So I was transferring right onto the internal parts of the cushion surprisingly it went okay the transfer as well as going around making coffee and getting ready for the day. The whole event was blessed I think. I did have some stinking thinking towards the end of the Sleep process before I'd gotten up. I just kept thinking I was all done living independently and I couldn't do it anymore and I was just too confounded in two dangerous just too messy but once I was up all of those thoughts began to dry up and vanish. If I look at them too closely I could see them coming back but I try not to dwell on the failure of living independently if I can. Clearly through the day I got clear ramifications that I'm doing okay I'm living all right and I'm still doing okay dressing myself and getting by. I just guess I need to realize that I'm going to probably mess up more than I used to. This kind of worries me but I try not to dwell on the small setbacks. I however realize that everyday I get a little bit older and sooner or later I'm going to lose the ability to care for myself as I am doing now and as I have done.

I really only had one project to consider today and that was taking the bus down south to the podiatrist I have my toenails clipped. This is a project that I'm beginning to consider me be a little Overkill. And this morning I was seriously thinking on letting my friend Richard the podiatrist know that I was not going to be coming back. This is what I thought going into the session today. I slowly convinced that my caregiver / Melissa, can't very well take care of my feet or at least clip my toenails. Truth is I'm not sure how much I want to continue taking the bus all the way down to the end of the 217 or it turns into the 218 and still go to the two blocks or four blocks to my podiatrist in the scourges of winter. The next appointment is in November. I held back on letting the podiatrist know I was going to see him because I watched what he did with my feet as I sat there I wouldn't have thought he did a lot more than just trim my nails- - what you did very well. But he looked closely at my feet and you look closely at any issues and problems I was having and then I realized that I needed to keep going to this guy because he really does care about my feet and he has a very good eye on issues and problems that come up with senior feet. I don't know if I want to let my caregiver do a little bit of my nails or maybe none at all I'll have to visit with her on that see how she feels. I know that Richard, my podiatrist, charges back the insurance folks quite a bit for maybe 20 minutes of work. But he's a trained eye and I appreciate that and it certainly well worth it. Will address this again in November..

$20 poop!

 I hate not being able to transfer myself on and off the toilet- - like I used to. Can't believe how independent that I was. Of course I'm moaning about this because I'm sitting I think on a pile of poop, not sure yet but it kind of feels that way and I have been cramping this afternoon. It's getting later in the evening and it's so difficult trying to contact anybody without a cell phone I'm just going to hack it out until tomorrow morning when Melissa will come. I'll be okay just wrap myself up in pads. Once I'm laying down I think I'll be fairly safe. Like I said I'm not sure how bad I am because I don't smell anything to speak of or to smell of but it feels like I'm doing something off and on I guess I'll find out when I strip down for bed. All that being said

I've had a fairly busy day. Half of my safety belt system came undone this morning so that necessitated a trip up Redwood Road to ucat where I was able to get a hold of Robert and refasting strap back onto the seat so I guess I'm safe again. I really don't believe in those restraints are these restraints but I feel better psychologically when I have it in place it also allows me to carry things in the belt itself what should I do appreciate. Like my cell phone and my wallet sometimes and other things I can just sort of put between the band and the belly and they seem to stay there pretty well. Of course it's Thursday that means it's coffee social which the day lasted quite a while because I got visiting with the new person at our facility when we talked for at least an hour after the group ended maybe even longer. We have some strong variables in common and that was nice to talk to her about those kind of things like good old Iona Idaho. When I got back to the apartments I spent some time in the Sun but a lot of time watching a couple old Marvel movies waiting for the news to start. I spent a lot of time trying to keep the poop that they but that's a losing battle. And I'm not sick or anything it's just too much poop in the old body and it's got to come out time and if I was able-bodied it'd be just a matter of going in and sitting down and pooping and then going on for my life. This is what most people do. But every once in awhile my timing gets off and I can't hold it Whatever It Is until my caregiver gets here. Fortunately I just found out she's in the area tonight and I'll stop by and give me and assist. Of course I'm then have to pay for the service which I will use is 20 bucks and that just irks me because of what I mentioned earlier if I had the body I could just do it myself which I did forever. But now I have to pay for everything sort of like what's a poop worth 20 bucks to me that's amazing

Just another wash day

Remember I was talking about the apartment inspections? I was shocked this morning when the department manager literally ran me down to tell me that she was totally impressed with my apartment. She thought it was the best looking apartment in the building. This of course is Jasmine's fault, my granddaughter who's taking such good care of me these days. Jennifer, the building manager didn't care she just was impressed with what my apartment looked like. I felt like a kid again being told how impressed he looked at her how strong he looked or something. I am so easy it's pitiful. In fact I had been a little concerned about had they even inspected my unit yet. I was under the impression they had just because one of the doors I never lock was locked in the light above the patio was turned on, in the middle of the day.

It's it's Wednesday wash day and that means hanging around the apartment until the dryer is finished. This always seems like a major long period. I was able to spend some time out in the early sunshine as it worked its way through clouds but it wasn't too chilly or cold. I was a little a nerved when I pulled the clean clothes from the dryer and they are still a little bit damp, not a whole lot but just a little bit like there was too many clothes to dry for the period that I was operating the dryer. Rather than feeding the dryer anymore money I decided I'll just take the wash as is and close the dry eventually by the time I got to him during the week. I did not sleep as well as I was like yet I don't know why I'm exhausted this evening. Granted washing clothes is a bit of work but not that much. I was going to go on an adventure head south down to Harbor Freight to get some duct tape but then I figured why go through the trauma of getting on the bus riding it miles south and then returning I ended up going to the Dollar Store across the street and found a couple of small rolls for $1.50 a shot and should be okay. My caregiver Melissa and I are both shocked to me couldn't find any duct tape around the apartment. I was going to take the cushion and tape it better to the power chair. I sit on the cushion and it gets a little squirrely sometimes and in the past we've fixed it to the seat quite literally with duct tape and it seems to work well enough. It's a bit unsightly but I'm Way Beyond appearances at this point in time. I did return to the apartment however and spent an hour on the arm bike but even with all this I can't believe I'm exhausted to the point that I am right now looking forward to some bedtime. I hope I'll have better luck sleeping this evening…

 

Changes

It was good to get back out on the road today now that my power chair is repaired. I don't have to worry about it, the power chair, stopping randomly along my path or travel this was so annoying and so unnerving. Now that seems to be a thing of the past common now I just have to work on getting a brand new chair which seems like it's a possibility now. I have to connect with my physician now, again, to write a letter of need for such a vehicle. I don't know why I seem to be dragging my feet on this task maybe for fear that they'll turn me down even though they've said they will not they just I'm frightened that they might. That's okay anyway because I'm sure I'm going to get my heart broken one way or the other when I order this new chair and it comes. Just never seem to be happy with things like that I just don't do very well with ordering items. But tomorrow, hopefully, I'll be able to make the call over to my doctor's office and see about them writing a letter of support. Even then I don't know how long it'll take to get the chair built and usable. I kind of look forward to it but I just don't build my hopes up too much.

Today was kind of busy for me I had two major events. One was the regular assist, ink meeting downtown Salt Lake across from the library at 11:00 a.m. and then following that a fast jaunt across downtown over to the train then back down to South Salt Lake to meet with my friend Lori for lunch, a late lunch at the Restaurant not far from my home. I was so pleased I was able to make it there on time. The only drawback was that one of the individuals that meet with our lunches our lunch group, Jerry our writer friend had other options he had to deal with today mainly a funeral and that's a shame. It seems at this point funerals are becoming somewhat common as folks within our strata begin to die out and I guess that includes us to a certain degree but not yet anyway. I worry about Jerry sometimes I don't think he's too well but I sure like it when he meets with us and treats us like equals an adults. Lori and I had a great conversation I think we generally do. We're fortunate enough to have great conversations of entertainment, substance and Hope. I think I feel fortunate in that conversation with Lori comes easily. We easily fill up an hour or so depending on topics of conversation. I think we visited for about 2 hours with today's lunch, a perfect way to spend an afternoon in the fall.

I wore a long sleeves today. The first half of the day was somewhat chilly I'm glad that I chose the long sleeves but towards the afternoon today did really heat up. Even though I was uncomfortably warm at times I was glad that I had the long sleeves on. More and more each morning I feel the coming of the next season. I paid special attention to the leaves on the trees in Salt Lake today as I went downtown. They're all quite green and still quite healthy- - the cold has yet to cut their supply I guess from the mother tree. If I travel I guess I could go to the mountains and see the early colors of the trees change has fall gets closer day by day. If one looks very close and listens very carefully one can just barely see and hear the beginning of the change..

Movie Monday

 I continue on my phase of waking early and not being able to get back to   but somehow getting through the day. I've been getting to realize a pattern I don't know if it's accurate or true but but seems to me is that if I go to bed I mean to sleep or try to go to sleep before 12:00 midnight and if waking up like at 3:00 a.m. and find it very difficult to get back to sleep. That's what happened last night I crashed around 11:30 because I wanted to make sure I was up in time to get dressed and be ready to meet my granddaughter for breakfast at my local restaurant. Ended up waking at 3:00 a.m. having to pee it took me almost an hour to get that job done I'm just not as functional as I used to be but anyway after draining about 400 cc's which is a lot for me lately, especially in bed. I was pretty much awake and though I tried to get back to some sort of sleeping scenario which I may have done shortly for a few minutes here there I was pretty much up. Maybe it's just a senior thing other seniors I know I hear a number of other seniors around here talking about walking the floors here at night because they can't sleep so they just tend to walk around the building. That really sounds kind of creepy actually but since I totally don't have that option I just think about all these new ghosts walking around. Then all the guys take a nap around 10:00 a.m. I suppose that's what we do now it's so weird.

I was finally dressed and ready to go by 7:00 a.m. and I wasn't to meet my granddaughter till about 8:00 a.m. so I just hung around the apartment resting trying to visualize and wonder what she's going to do because you promise you would come over to the apartment after breakfast and work cleaning the place up a little bit. Our building apartment inspections this week and I'm not really ever sure what they're looking for but my granddaughter does such a great job I love to see what she can do to miss like mine. And today she did a great job probably spent 2 hours and just made the place look great I thought/ think. We talked a lot. I hope I didn't show that I was struggling to keep myself focused because I was so sleep deprived that I may have kept spacing off the conversation but she didn't say anything if she was aware that I was kind of sloppy awake. It's a beautiful day or it was a beautiful day with a lot of wind because of a front coming in. I really didn't do anything after we finished the house cleaning. I was just too tired. I just sort of turn on a movie and have hardly watched and dozed through the afternoon. Of course it's the football season now which means none of my regular programming is available ie 430 news and the local news. They just go from one football game to the next or tennis are now soccer the real pain in the ass. I wish they would need to networks alone and continue to do it if that's going to happen but I can wish…

Searching for sleep

I continue on my phase of waking early and not being able to get back to sleep but somehow getting through the day. I've been getting to realize a pattern I don't know if it's accurate or true but but seems to me is that if I go to bed I mean to sleep or try to go to sleep before 12:00 midnight and if waking up like at 3:00 a.m. and find it very difficult to get back to sleep. That's what happened last night I crashed around 11:30 because I wanted to make sure I was up in time to get dressed and be ready to meet my granddaughter for breakfast at my local restaurant. Ended up waking at 3:00 a.m. having to pee it took me almost an hour to get that job done I'm just not as functional as I used to be but anyway after draining about 400 cc's which is a lot for me lately, especially in bed. I was pretty much awake and though I tried to get back to some sort of sleeping scenario which I may have done shortly for a few minutes here there I was pretty much up. Maybe it's just a senior thing other seniors I know I hear a number of other seniors around here talking about walking the floors here at night because they can't sleep so they just tend to walk around the building. That really sounds kind of creepy actually but since I totally don't have that option I just think about all these new ghosts walking around. Then all the guys take a nap around 10:00 a.m. I suppose that's what we do now it's so weird.

I was finally dressed and ready to go by 7:00 a.m. and I wasn't to meet my granddaughter till about 8:00 a.m. so I just hung around the apartment resting trying to visualize and wonder what she's going to do because you promise you would come over to the apartment after breakfast and work cleaning the place up a little bit. Our building apartment inspections this week and I'm not really ever sure what they're looking for but my granddaughter does such a great job I love to see what she can do to miss like mine. And today she did a great job probably spent 2 hours and just made the place look great I thought/ think. We talked a lot. I hope I didn't show that I was struggling to keep myself focused because I was so sleep deprived that I may have kept spacing off the conversation but she didn't say anything if she was aware that I was kind of sloppy awake. It's a beautiful day or it was a beautiful day with a lot of wind because of a front coming in. I really didn't do anything after we finished the house cleaning. I was just too tired. I just sort of turn on a movie and have hardly watched and dozed through the afternoon. Of course it's the football season now which means none of my regular programming is available ie 430 news and the local news. They just go from one football game to the next or tennis are now soccer the real pain in the ass. I wish they would need to networks alone and continue to do it if that's going to happen but I can wish…

Saturday night

I'm exhausted. I woke up at 3:00 a.m. and didn't get back to sleep I've been kind of zombie rolling all day but I was fairly cognizant and social. I even went over to the coffee shop this morning and set with some folks Enchanted for significant amount of time I was somewhat impressed with myself. The regular folks however sort of left as soon as I got there the one that's been trying to get me to be part of their group. I spent about an hour there then it was time for me to leave, I didn't have anywhere to go so I came back to the apartment after stopping off at the market for something trivial. I did watch Marvel for one show I didn't want to spend my whole day in front of the tube doing Marvel the certainly inviting. I tried cleaning up the apartment a little bit around the kitchen particularly. Cleaned off the oven more or less I even fried two hamburgers or two hamburger patties and made two hamburgers that I can have for Sunday if I need to eat something fun. I'm not sure how sunday it is going to go. Mark still out of the country and Jasmine's has indicated that she'll come over after coffee tomorrow so I guess we're doing coffee but I haven't heard anything more. She wants to come over for 2 hours or I asked her to come over I needed some help since inspections are coming up I feel a little pressured to make the apartment look better than it is right now. Yes sir let it go downhill a little bit lately. I don't know what's got into me. I spent an hour out with the ladies this evening just talking back and forth as the dogs communicated with each other. I really don't have a lot to say. Genie the former employee from the Independent Living Center that lives here keeps the conversation going. Genie kind of irritated me when I first moved into the apartments but I've pretty much gotten used to her now and even look forward to visiting with her usually one or two times during the day. There's a group of folks who have dogs that get together with their animals in the evening and that's where I visit with them mostly that's where Genie at.

I drained over 400 CC's this afternoon and it's the first time I've done that and some time. I've been a little concerned about my kidneys the last couple of weeks. I don't know why I'm producing so much less year and then I used to. I'm not necessarily in any pain or discomfort so I don't think I have anything going on aside from possibly a bladder infection which I always have but I was quite relieved to see the amount of fluid is able to produce this afternoon and now I'm about ready to have to produce again and that's pretty often since this afternoon that didn't make sense. I think you know what I mean though. I just need to keep ingesting fluids and just forced myself to drain every 4 hours whether I feel I need to or not. I think that might be the best way to keep my fluid out put consistent and healthy. Well it's relatively early yet but I need to get to bed so I can get up early get dressed and out here to the restaurant for breakfast with Jasmine and then a little attention to the apartment

 

Time to move on

I don't mean to come off being or insensitive but I get a little tired of the special days of remembrance of major events. Case in point today of course is September 11th 25th anniversary of the terror of the towers the falling of the towers. It's just a whole day of going over every minutiae event of that day it seems like. Why can't we just mention it and get on our way why do we have to Ravel and Dabble and bathe in the experience over and over and over again? It was sad, bad but let's move on. We've got problems of Our Own right now that we need to get rid of. When I get a little offended when my NewsHour or half hour the CBS Evening News basically takes the whole event and sort of circumvents the news of the day. I guess in all fairness that they didn't really circumvent because they sort of got to some of the high points of the day maybe but it seemed like they also circled around to tie them into issues of 9/11. I just think it's strange and tedious and to be honest somewhat boring. Quickly just because I happen to live through it I'm going to put my spin on everything I just talked about that I don't like and that was the fear I had for just a few minutes as we were listening to the radio or maybe even watching it on TV before we went to work that the jets flying into the tower was one thing but then getting reports of the other tragedies made it look like it was, and it was, an event that was all tied together. I was spooked that that might be the beginning of something much bigger larger. Luckily that was all that was done that we are aware of and life went back to its own unique boring way which is okay with me. Now however we have other issues we're facing ones that probably are a lot more significant if not greater- - is that redundant? And right now it's the AI crisis we've got ourselves into and I don't know if we're ever going to get ourselves out. I've tried to see the worst case scenario and that's probably surviving an AI takeover and how do we live with artificial intelligence / computers watching and guiding every moment of our lives? That's what's really spooky and but therefore be a time when we get overthrow our AI oppressors? It really is the stuff that science fiction is made of and very well could be life copying the movies however that phrases said. On the positive side maybe they'll be benevolent and teach us how to really live in a positive Life Style. And maybe after a few thousand Generations Lift us up to the point where we can coincide with AI I'becoming more than our sums. I went to the dentist today had my teeth cleaned but that's a story for another evening..

I'll call you

I've been having issues with my cell phone for a number of weeks now and I pretty much wrote The behavior as dropping my cell phone one too many times. It's one of the issues of being quadriplegic are being partially quad their hands just barely function so you end up dropping things at least I end up dropping things a lot. Anyway, I wanted to get out of Dodge for a while and this morning was as good as any to do such a thing. I went to the coffee social as always tried to be a socialist I could with my Limited Spanish skills. But afterwards I just grabbed my pack and at and hook and took off to the bus stop. I do my cellular through an outfit called Consumer Cellular. This is a operation that Diane set up before we split up I've never really understood them or dealt with them at all so I figured I'd better start. I understood they have a side that sells cell phones I guess most of these operations do. Anyway they have a complete set of cell phones designed for seniors. I'm not sure how I feel about that but for what I use a cell phone that doesn't have to have tons of whistles and bells. So I figured I would see if I could find Consumer Cellular but in the meantime I went to another operation cuz I know sales cell phones. It's all the way to 21st South meeting I had to take the bus to the Community College then jumped the other bus to take me down to the track station then take the train into 21st. There's a big Best Buy store there and that's where I went. As usual, I don't go directly to where I need to go I end up wandering around the stores as much as I can just looking. I finally talked to somebody at the cell phone place and I just am blown away at how much these cell phones cost. But in the discussion he indicated that I could go to a place called Zack or something like that which is just around the corner from where I was at he indicated those guys do phone repair that I should talk to them. I did that very thing. I ended up having quite an in-depth conversation with two of their service people. As I described the issues I was having with my cell phone and that she tried to actuate and work with myself and she diagnosed it almost immediately as bad batteries! It took her a while to get inside my cell phone because it was so encased in its protective casing but she eventually did and showed me how the battery itself was puffing up and bulging and the behavior of the phone is exhibiting as far as turning itself off and not running until you plug it in and then it's still quite a challenge to get it turned on. I ordered a new battery it'll take a week to get here probably. I was going to leave the phone there but I felt naked without it even if it was less than functional. It just made me feel safer having it nearby something to hold on maybe something to throw out a bad guy who knows..

Me good company? Not!

I'm just in from conversing with some of the folks here at the apartment complex. I sort of become part of a group that meets out on the grass by the patio every evening. A bunch of old folks just yammering along and I've become one of them. I'm not sure how I feel about this at first I was a little put off but I sort of gotten used to them and I like the fact that I'm able to visit with these folks and enjoy their company and they seem to enjoy mine. Of course they're all women and that's not that big of a deal at least I don't think so. I don't do a lot of the talking just sort of hang Loose and enter into conversations where I feel I have something fairly significant to add. A lot of these folks bring their dogs there's about four dogs that show up on a regular basis and they fully constitute part of this group. I don't think there's more than 10 people in this group if they are all to show up at the same time some meet on Monday others be on another day people drift in and out sort of like life.

An interesting topic of discussion tonight was where have all the bookstores gone. In fact that was a bit of contention because some of the folks really believe that some of the big box bookstores like Barnes & Noble it's still at the place in the area. I know they are not cuz I went looking for some books to read sometime Last Summer and I rolled all over that area where they thought or said that the bookstore still was and it just isn't it's gone pecan. They did mention some other places for a bookstores of gone up that I wasn't aware of and I only have to leave them anyway cuz I don't remember book stores going on in that area. This means I'm just going to have to check and see if in fact the big bookstore did open up a new space. This is over on Winchester Drive area down around 6400 South and State Street. I really got to know that some places where it's at before I take off to find it. I just do not want to take any chances with this power chair of mine. It's interesting and I've been thinking a lot lately about how much free to my head when I still had a van with a wheelchair lift. I really didn't get out that much and do that much when I did have the van and I doubt I would really be that much out and about even now. The fact that I let my license go that was a big issue too so even if I had a van I wouldn't be able to drive it on my own. I guess that's okay because there's a higher probability that I would enjoy being out and about with somebody else as opposed to being out and about by myself I really don't think I'm not great at company LOL

 

The day after

I I kind of like the first day back from a vacation/holiday. It's like I'm returning to the real world from some fantasy place which was the holiday even if I really didn't do anything over the holiday it's just a different mindset that I enter into when everything is back to normal. In the old days it was when the stores were open again you could get groceries, do some shopping and get into places that were closed over the holiday. Now, you don't see that so much hardly anything's closes anymore really except liquor stores on the holidays that's a holdover I guess when things weren't so frantically focused on ringing as much money out of the present conscience as possible. Today was just beautiful a perfect autumn day still with influences heavily of Summer I think it got up to the '80s today but clear skies less wind than usual nice to be out. I briefly went across the street to the market it was more recreational than anything that I really needed. I spent some time reading in the afternoon, after I finished my hour on the arm bike and then even in the evening later I actually went out and joined some of the women out on the patio and visited with them for a little while. I really do this I don't know why maybe it's by shyness my my timidness. It was kind of fun however just sitting there in the evening visiting, y a m m e r i n g. I should have come back and got on this Vlog immediately but I put it off electing to do a few other things primarily the word puzzles just to get a few done before the end of the day better put everything else back a bit. I think I'm past the pooping stage how ever I do get some urges. Periodically especially if I don't empty my bladder in time I start seeping a little bit not really peeing but still getting wet. Still even though I've increased my liquid intake and feeling like I've got a lot in me when I drain I'm still only getting 300 or 350 cc's which kind of worries me that seems like if there is something wrong I would have other symptoms as it is I'm feeling almost great. I think there's all kinds of things in my urine I wish it was clearer but it is what it is. I still need to maybe run over to the Urgent Care drop off a sample and see if someone will write me Scripts for cleaning up my pee a little bit. Maybe this would help increase the volume of a drain as well.

Tomorrow I have A T. Council it's going to be a zoom meeting because the regular meeting is up in Northern Utah up in Logan and I didn't have a way to get there and the ride that I usually have when we do have these meetings in Logan will not be around. That's okay it's a zoom meeting slated to start at 12:30 and get over by 3:00. It's fairly easy Duty and I'm trying to push myself to be more active in these meetings. I would be so embarrassed if they asked me to stop coming just because I didn't respond enough to the conversations and discussions that we have considering assistive technology. I'm always amazed at how much other people are doing

Another Labor Day

I don't know how much of this posting will make it to the outside world. The tablet on which I write it every night is throwing messages at me indicating that I'm totally filled up the space and I have to get rid of some documents to make space for new postings. I'm so self-involved that I have a hard time erasing things I've written just because I'm so in love with what I am as far as writing goes. Even though I have what's listed on this blog on a page I have on the internet so everything I have is there but then my mind starts thinking what if something happens there and I no longer have the original here then I start losing myself down the rabbit hole. Chances are I could go back 10 or 15 years on some of these postings and get rid of some of those since I probably wouldn't even recognize him now if I were to read them. But something inside me tells me to keep them because you never know they could become handy if the internet fails and you no longer have access to the information you have listed on your website. The other option I've kind of explore it is having a chip inside my tablet, which I do, which has tons of space. I just need to know if I'm doing it right as far as sending saved vlogs from this page to the one on the chip that I have stored on this tablet. That is probably the best way to go about this problem I'm just a little spooked to pull the trigger. Truth of the matter is I don't have a whole lot of faith in the internet that's going to be around for a bit. I have yet to get to. It seems like a most larger task copy and pasting copied and pasting then going back to delete all those that you copied and hope that you'll be able to find them on this chip if and when you need to if not you'll totally lost a lot of time and making these posts. That's only half true because remember, the main purpose of this document is to provide evidence that happened write something over an extended period of time and probably get it done. Essentially what I'm talking about is writing 500 Words a night or a day and putting them together to form a book at some point in time. I believe I've accomplished that so now I'm writing just for the share pleasure/fun of the exercise.

I kind of poop the bed last night it wasn't a blaster but still it was enough that really made me feel uncomfortable. Overall I had a difficult time sleeping and I'm feeling tired today I'm glad it's about time for bed again hopefully it'll be better this time I had a fairly productive session this morning on the toilet with my caregiver. Hopefully I got enough out that I'll be able to be okay until Wednesday morning. Got a few moments this evening where it felt like somebody was trying to get out and I was trying to keep him in. It's beginning to become fall very rapidly. I had a short sleeve shirt on this morning it took me awhile before I got climatized to the coolness of the day. Luckily the day warmed up significantly towards middle afternoon. I was able to spend some time outside in the sun dozing and reading when I could get around to it. I went to the market picked up some milk at the dollar store came back again mainly all this exercise was to put miles on the new batteries. And my estimation they seem to be holding up very well and I think I can significant ranging if I want to. No I just want to get my bowels under control.

 

Sunday moving slow

 I slept poorly last night waking up around 3:00 a.m. and not really getting back to sleep. I had to pee and I just couldn't get everything to work right. I couldn't get the catheter inside the urethra took me forever I never did get it done actually. I finally got up at 6:00 a.m. not being able to handle anymore time in bed. Hopefully tonight things will go better. Hopefully it was just one of those things or maybe it's another one of those Corners I've turned that I just can't do anymore like I used to. I was able to finally get into my returned power chair late this afternoon my caregiver was able to come over and Trent transfer out the chairs and it feels so much better to be in my regular chair. Everything feels comfortable again I'll see what happens when I transfer into bed and more specifically when I get up in the morning to see how well the transfer goes as well as dressing. My son is in Istanbul this weekend and I haven't contacted I heard from the granddaughter who usually goes to breakfast with us. I don't know if she wants to continue tomorrow or not. That makes a big difference whether or what time I get up as far as that goes. Maybe I'll just get up early anyway get dressed if she doesn't show up that's fine she does that's fine too that'll be great. I haven't got much done around the apartment today just because I've been so tired and interestingly the backup chair that I got the batteries switched into the other day was acting really strange. I thought I was going to be safe as far as going anywhere in that chair but even though I charged it all night I only went a little ways and start ed draining the battery quickly or at least that's what it said on the controller. It's worse now than when I started the project. I may have to drop it off at the ucat place and see if they can track down the problem electrically speaking. I don't know if that would work or not it's worth a shot especially if I have to use it again for an extended period of time. A big job on Monday will be too make an appointment with my MD to start the process of getting the new chair. I don't know how long like this is going to take but I do know it'll always take longer than I want it to.

I did the coffee shop this morning which was really impressive to me because that meant I got up early enough to get dressed to get down there by 9:30 when I usually go in and get my coffee. That lady who's really been tight spending some time on talking to me came over and actually sat at my table it along discussion. I actually opened up about some of the stuff I'm going through right now which I can't believe that I did it was good to know to have someone to talk to. I bet we talked 45 minutes to an hour. I actually bought a whole fried chicken at the market today that's pretty stupid the best saved a lot of money and I bought just two chicken breasts fried. But now I have a whole chicken it's a fried chicken cold in the deli that I will use for Frank maybe even make a chicken salad sandwich or something that might be good. I think I was just trying to get ready for a holiday weekend…

1 Return of the chair

I slept poorly last night waking up around 3:00 a.m. and not really getting back to sleep. I had to pee and I just couldn't get everything to work right. I couldn't get the catheter inside the urethra took me forever I never did get it done actually. I finally got up at 6:00 a.m. not being able to handle anymore time in bed. Hopefully tonight things will go better. Hopefully it was just one of those things or maybe it's another one of those Corners I've turned that I just can't do anymore like I used to. I was able to finally get into my returned power chair late this afternoon my caregiver was able to come over and Trent transfer out the chairs and it feels so much better to be in my regular chair. Everything feels comfortable again I'll see what happens when I transfer into bed and more specifically when I get up in the morning to see how well the transfer goes as well as dressing. My son is in Istanbul this weekend and I haven't contacted I heard from the granddaughter who usually goes to breakfast with us. I don't know if she wants to continue tomorrow or not. That makes a big difference whether or what time I get up as far as that goes. Maybe I'll just get up early anyway get dressed if she doesn't show up that's fine she does that's fine too that'll be great. I haven't got much done around the apartment today just because I've been so tired and interestingly the backup chair that I got the batteries switched into the other day was acting really strange. I thought I was going to be safe as far as going anywhere in that chair but even though I charged it all night I only went a little ways and start ed draining the battery quickly or at least that's what it said on the controller. It's worse now than when I started the project. I may have to drop it off at the ucat place and see if they can track down the problem electrically speaking. I don't know if that would work or not it's worth a shot especially if I have to use it again for an extended period of time. A big job on Monday will be too make an appointment with my MD to start the process of getting the new chair. I don't know how long like this is going to take but I do know it'll always take longer than I want it to.

I did the coffee shop this morning which was really impressive to me because that meant I got up early enough to get dressed to get down there by 9:30 when I usually go in and get my coffee. That lady who's really been tight spending some time on talking to me came over and actually sat at my table it along discussion. I actually opened up about some of the stuff I'm going through right now which I can't believe that I did it was good to know to have someone to talk to. I bet we talked 45 minutes to an hour. I actually bought a whole fried chicken at the market today that's pretty stupid the best saved a lot of money and I bought just two chicken breasts fried. But now I have a whole chicken it's a fried chicken cold in the deli that I will use for Frank maybe even make a chicken salad sandwich or something that might be good. I think I was just trying to get ready for a holiday weekend…

One chair and one comforter

The little delivery guy, the driver for us my wheelchair shop, just dropped off my repaired power chair. You remember, the vehicle that I got back from the shop earlier in the week supposedly prepared and nothing had been done on it felt like I had to send it back? Yeah that one. Anyway they ended up replacing the defective motor on the chair. They just put a used one on the chair- - which is okay with me I have no problem with that that as long as it works. I cleaned the information from a message that the caller left but in the call he informed me that they made a big effort to put the motor on because it's been more than 5 years and they have money to pay any more work into that chair. But I've been telling them that for seems like a year and a half now and they've just been put me off put me off. So now they just told me that I have to contact my medical doctor start the whole process Over Again by him writing a letter of need. And I had done all that before they should have all that on Rick but obviously they don't just irritates me there's no man. But the chair seems to be working well the guy actuated the chair from the front door of my complex to my apartment chair didn't stop once and it drove real well in the real quickly. So hopefully I can enjoy this chair for as long as I have to as the process for the new chair starts once again. In the meantime however please because I was able to get the batteries in this chair you'll remember at the back of chair. But having a problem with them all day up however the meter indicated that they were charged last night but when I went to use them during this day the charge went down really quickly which sort of weirds me out. I don't know if it just read a full charge and I was kind of surprised that the battery started deleting itself as quickly as it did. So I have been charging my pack of chair tonight as I was watching just in case the new chair that coming back from the shop didn't work properly or whatever I want to make sure something happened I had this chair totally topped out energy wise especially since it's a holiday weekend and there'll be no significant Tuesday morning at that is it just me or is my life? Now I just have to contact my caregiver, melissa, who is already indicated should be more than willing to come in over the weekend and help me transfer into the returned, repaired main chair. I totally appreciate this but that'll be tomorrow.

Since I know that they locked the doors to the building I kept running back and forth from my apartment to the front door to she is anybody was there wanting to come in. So doing that I always check the giveaway room or the giveaway table and when I first went down to check there is this comforter sitting there in this little plastic container. It looks like a great piece of bedding so I grabbed it brought it back to my apartment and will put it on the bed Monday to see how well it works. My old comforter the big old white thing has some major tears in it that I've put masking tape are that are the kind of tape on the silver tape just so all the floaties don't escape the comforter. It looks some perfect condition I'm kind of excited. I've been looking for a company but it's just too difficult to buy especially if you got to carry it around or anything.

Laundry day

I'm kind of exhausted right now not much sleep and working to just stay even with what I need to be doing. Since I wasn't able to wash clothes yesterday I washed the match today at least keep me going until next Wednesday hopefully. I hadn't really done the wash for a number of months now since my caregiver pretty much starts to watch then transfers it to the dryer and then I pick up the final dried version take it back to the apartment full clothes and then hang up clothes. So today I was able to do the whole thing and brought back the old having to wait till things get done and just hang out for a while. But I got the pants folded the shirts are still in the basket I may wait for Melissa to do that tomorrow since you won't have to wash clothes. I would say the biggest event of the day was I was able to score a set of batteries for my power chair. A friend of mine over it the you cat was able to score me some which was cool. They seem to be working really well and I won't have to worry about running out of power I can get back to doing some bus riding and trying to get some things done. I also have the capability now to get into the position if I need to sample to see if I've got any problem going on internally. On top of all that I was able to do the arm bike as well for my third hour of the week. So just 20 minutes far and I'll have my 200 minutes in.

I have been really grappling with the whole Assisted Living issue. It's been a lot of time visiting with my friend and Buddy from ucap today. He was totally reinforcing of me living as independent as I can for as long as I can and only then consider Assisted Living options. He says not to worry about the concept going anywhere it'll be around for a while and I'm doing well just the way I am and to continue the good work that I bring to the issue of people with disabilities in this community. Really it really felt good. This is going to be another light version of the blog just because I'm having to save as much space as I can until I figure out how to transfer a bunch of old blogs from one section to the backup drive I have a test machine. I just have not Learn how to effectively used the machine like it's really supposed to be used hardware and software...

Oh no!

This is going to be another one of my Infamous short blogs just because I'm not sure how much of it's going to stick around. I think I've totally maxed out my space I'm allowed to have and because of that my tablet is not saving my riding and hopefully this information is just going directly to my cell phone which I do have space on.

I got the dreaded assistive living discussion with my brother today over the telephone. I'm sort of surprised they hadn't come sooner and I know it's probably real difficult for him and it was just a very light mention so it wasn't like a heavy duty coming to God moment but still it happened and I know folks are out there concerned. I'm going to have to figure out a way to answer that question with myself amongst the other situations I'm in. I'm sure there's going to be further discussions down the road now that the proverbial cat is out of the bag so stay tuned. Didn't do anything today because they're picking up my power chair that was supposed to be repaired that's not they're picking it up tonight so I'm still in the backup chair and I think I'm going to be in it for some time so I'm searching for some cheaper used batteries I can get me through the whole thing if I have enough time living independently …

Transitions

 I don't know if it was a bladder infection or maybe I had something else I don't know what but yesterday was kind of a nightmare and a large part of today was very much similar. I didn't sleep much past 3:00 a.m. seemed like but that seems to happen a lot to me anymore I don't know what the hell that's about maybe it's just a geriatric thing but seems to be getting old. Last night I couldn't get my new shoes off because they were snug On My Feet so much different than the other ones. Clearly I was having some issues I was almost falling out of my chair at one point luckily however quite late almost 11:00 I get a call from the people that are supposed to pick up my chair, remember they're going to fix it, they're here to pick it up or soon will be. I was able to use so who came to get the chair as someone to take the shoe off my left foot and help put my foot back on the foot plate which got me back on track it was then I went to bed and I wasn't sure what that was going to be like but I made it through the night. Today. One of the first things I did do today was at 8:00 I called the cyst to let them know that I was not going to be able to make the meeting today at 11:00. I was planning to even chance taking the chair in Spanish but I was just too l or dehydrated or whatever to even make the meeting and I hardly ever miss that.

 I just wanted to get through the day it took me forever to get dressed and I was blaming the chair for the whole thing and I couldn't imagine having to go a couple more weeks in this chair if I had to if they have to order in New Motors but guess what? I got a call from a wheelchair shop a couple hours ago indicating that they did put the new batteries in and were able to fix the motors didn't have to be replaced. I don't know if I believe them or not we'll see though what happens I'm just excited and I think just the mere thought of not having to totally rely on this thing I call a backup chair any further has perked me right up. I also had a couple good glasses of liquid. I think this may have been part of the problem I think I may have been a bit dehydrated I've just got a force myself to drink fluids all the time and just realize I want to spend a good deal of time peeing but that's the way things go. The day was also pretty chilly for me early on I tried to go out and I read a little bit outside I was just too uncomfortable with the Cool Wind. So now I'm waiting for the phone call that will let me know how far out the delivery guy is and will soon have the old chair back with new batteries and Motors that work. 

In fact if the chair is so functional now maybe I will go to the Urgent Care Clinic and do a sample and see if in fact I have well I know I have a bladder infection I always do but maybe they'll give me some medications to knock it out for a while in that case also make all the difference..

Waiting for a pickup

I'm sitting here in my darkened bedroom looking out at the dark stormy sky waiting for the folks from the wheelchair shop to step up and get my power chair for batteries and repair. I took one of the earliest times so that I could get they never give you an exact time just to in between time between 4:00 and 10:00 p.m. it's 8:36 so I guess I still have some time conceivably. I'm tired my butt hurts and I'm sure my kidneys are failing. Now Lori don't get all upset but not really. I think I'm going to have to check things out though just the same. They've been talking about my pre-diabetes or whatever it is for a couple years now maybe I've turned the corner. Like I said kind of spooky I did my arm bike today for the first time in 3 days that always takes it out of me too. I think I did an hour maybe a little bit more but I'm not sure because I slept halfway through the arm bike protocol which is kind of hard to do but I managed. I'm kind of worried about what they'll find on my chair. They are going to put the batteries in I'm pretty sure but with the problems with the motors that might be a whole different trip which I think is going to mean more waiting one way or the other either getting the motors and putting them on and waiting for them to get here to do that or getting the motors on and then having those guys say that I've got brand new Motors why should I get a new chair. They'll think about it again when the chair is it's beginning to fail which I mean starts the whole Tango over again. I think deep down they just don't want to give me another chair. I think they're waiting for me to die. I'm surprised I don't have people standing on the corner wishing me to drive riding the traffic and if I don't comply they're going to give me a small nudge to help me on my way. Is that paranoid thinking? Probably. Sadly I must inform you that I'm getting used to this backup chair. My care person did a lot of work on the foot box this morning as it may not be such a bad share though it doesn't fit me well and it terribly needs new batteries tomorrow I have my meeting over at assist and I'm going to try to get there in this chair. If I'm very conservative in my actions and driving my chair I would think I have enough power to pull this trip off. I have enough power in my batteries when they're fully charged to give me at least two to three miles of distance. That's distance using the motors on my chair. If I use the bus system to take me to the main hub and from there into the train station which will take me off to the library and assist offices across from the library that can't be more than a mile or so all together and then back again. I hope I can make it

 

Sunday's labor

 I have to confess there's nothing that eats up my time more than a stupid Marvel movie that I've already seen I don't know how many times. This afternoon I spent at least 90 minutes watching this movie, okay I was doing other stuff in between scenes off and on, but the point is now it's 8:43 in the evening and I could have done this blog much earlier in the evening but now I'm doing it almost like I'm trying to catch up that really is quite frustrating. I spent the major portion of this afternoon and some of this morning not much because I had breakfast with Marc Anthony and came back and enjoyed the weather for a minute or two. I spent the day trying to get the letters ready for the send out. I had stamps I know couldn't find them anywhere so I figured I'd just go ahead and address the envelopes stuff them and then stamp them when I buy some stamps. I did this of course and now going through an envelope I find this isn't just a regular interval but it's like a envelope you get from the post office it's got large size you can put a lot of stuff in these envelopes but anyway I found the two backup stamps Plus two or three letters that have been stamped that I had printed last week or last month and I was just going to stuff the letters in them when the time came. The time came and went and I didn't do that finding the envelopes now if I use them which I need to use them I'm going to have to go through open up the envelopes pull them out and put the letters in the stamped envelope but with the two residual stamps I should only have to purchase at least two stamps. I guess that's the bright side if there is one. I don't think I lose things anymore than anybody else at any given time but I also worry if these are times or indicators of Dementia or anything else like that. I hope not that would be Dreadful.

I was able to get out of bed and dress myself more or less this morning in time to get to breakfast which I'm totally surprised. Last night I was ready to cancel the whole event just because I didn't think I'd be able to get ready by 8:00 or 8:30 a.m.. I almost didn't. Transferring out of the bed to the chair my feet foot fell off the foot plate and almost got trapped between the chair and the bed which kind of terrifies me. Luckily I had sticks close by and I was able to finagle my foot free but it cost me many minutes of the time I had to get ready. Even with all the time I worked on getting ready this morning I still didn't have the time and are well to put my shoes on so I put the shoes on my feet and went over like that to the restaurant. Mark caught me just as I was getting ready to go into the restaurant and put my shoes on out in the parking lot. I was totally relieved I looks quite respectable. If one counts letter writing, and breakfast with my son I can really say it was a family Sunday day which is good as it gets…

Saturday night sads

This is going to be a quick, down and dirty, post. I really thought I was going to be on top of this and try to get this done earlier in the day but I didn't do it. The day was peppered with one downpour after another and there's a major temperature drops so it's actually beginning to feel cold at least I am trying to find some heat today and it was hard. Every once in awhile the sun would peek through some of the clouds and it would warm up a little bit but by and large it was dark and very ominous. I think I'm coming down to something I hope not probably a bladder infection or something. It's not the way I wanted my Saturday to go that's a big for sure. I was able to get out of bed this morning it was a little dicey but I did it it's even got myself dressed and that's really hard to do with this backup chair. I'm supposed to go to breakfast tomorrow with the kids I hope I can make it if not maybe Mark can come over and dress me if I can't do it myself. Talk about bizarre times. I wish I could cover more information for you but that's going to have to do it for Saturday night

Bad chair

 I'm glad I have this chair even with all the iniquities right now and all the problems that it seems to be going through it's been doing good by me as far as the chair goes. I know better than to try to take it out on any long trips by myself. By long trips I'm talking about even going over to Macy's which is just one block down and across the street from where I live. I wasn't sure entirely if I could make that trip. I think I could do okay on a straight line trip like going somewhere on the same block where I live, but where it gets to be a little dicey would be like crossing the street where you've got to be able to do it in a certain amount of time. I mean after all you are putting yourself at risk anytime one has to cross during a controlled setting like a crosswalk. Mark Anthony texted me tonight indicating that we could probably do some visiting and go over to the fast food joint across the street for a little dinner. I was up for this I'd like to see Mark anytime I get a chance. I warned him that my chair is acting up and I might need some assistance and he was up for that. We didn't seem to have much of a problem getting over to the Arctic Circle(AC) but coming back was a totally different trip. For some reason the motor on the left side of my chair is going out and it seems to getting worse the more that I use it. I really feel quite safe and comfortable using this chair just to run around the apartment and grounds but I'm a little concerned about going anywhere significant across the street for instance. So, the motors been kicking out on me after I drive it for a few minutes or if I try to turn the wrong way at the wrong time the whole thing will just stop and I'll have to turn off the machine and turn it back on and then go as much further as I can before the whole process starts again. Like I said I'm straight line that's not a problem but crossing the street that gets to be spooky and it was. We tried three or four times to try to get the chair in the forward motion mode while we had the light for four times the chair just stopped and we couldn't get across the street in time. Finally on about the 5th try we got close to getting almost halfway in the chair shut down and we had to start the whole process and it took the whole time that the rest of the light gave us and we ended up having to cross while people waited for us to get across even though they had the green light. I pretty much believe in people and they will let me do something like this and I think Mark believes the same way but it's just still scary see the entire Bank of cars wanting and waiting to cross the street all waiting for you it just doesn't seem right. As much as I don't want to I'm afraid tomorrow when my caregiver gets done with me I'm going to have to go into my other chair and set this one in the corner waiting for the people to pick it up. I just hope this chair doesn't feel like it's being punished…

Workout Wednesday

I have spent the last two days trying to find one of my grip gloves, you know it's like a glove it's got a velcro strap on it that allows you to grasp something and then lock it into place with the velcro straps. This is great for like lifting weights and working out and stuff like that. I use the gloves to keep my hands on my arm bike pedals which allows me to Pedal with Focus and commitment. It's weird because I knew I had the gloves on Monday because I did a fast workout but when I went to workout on Tuesday I couldn't find the one glove and I really had to use the one hand without the glove which made it very difficult and I only ended up doing 20 minutes instead of the 60 minutes that I usually use the first 3 days of the week. I looked and looked for this glove accepted that the glove is probably gone. As I said the Grove has these velcro straps on it which sometimes gets trapped on my chair and I end up taking it wherever I'm going not knowing that I have a passenger and then basically losing the item when for one reason another it detaches itself from the velcro. I hadn't gone anywhere but still I couldn't find it. This morning when my caregiver Melissa was here I told her my problem and of course within 20 minutes she had found the Lost glove. I was just about ready to order a replacement love which I found best priced at $89. I think I would have paid the $99 there other sales sites had the gloves listed at just so I can get back to working out for the hour. Fortunately I held off and Melissa found what I needed as she always does. I felt totally fortunate as I worked my 60 minutes today and keeping the ever closer look out eye on my workout gloves.

Wednesday wash day. I drug a 20-minute ordeal out to a whole day. I just barely finished folding my shorts and hanging up my shirts. Actually I had the shorts folded by 5:00 this evening but put off hanging up the shirts till just a while ago. Seven or eight shirts that's all it seems to take forever to pull it off sometimes. I don't know if it's because some of the shirts are inside out- - I try never to leave them inside out but sometimes I guess I do- - I set them up so they're okay then hung them up and finally put him on the rod in the closet. It's not the prettiest job of hung up close but I guess the job done and freeze up the dirty clothes container. It's near the end of the month I elected to start my kid letters. I just finished two I think I have about six left to go I should be able to have all things done by the 31st. The only problem is remember the 31st is when they come and pick up my chair to fix it up I'm going to be in my backup chair. That's okay because I don't plan on going anywhere a great distance but I have to ride the chair for at least 24 hour period as they take my regular chair into the shop to make the repairs to switch out the batteries. I'll be so lucky to have a new batteries

 

Mein Kampf my daily struggle to put myself together

I had a definite senior moment this morning after I gotten up. I for sure thought today was Monday. It felt like Monday all the way through. It's only after I was up and dressed and wondering about why my home health person didn't show up today to do my dressing but I started putting together traces of yesterday and then realized that in fact today is Tuesday. The only thing that possibly saves my senior moment rationale is that this Tuesday there was no assist meeting that I usually get up and hurry through my morning ritual to get out to the bus in time to get into the city for the meeting. Little bit by little bit I made the realization that today was in fact Tuesday nothing that changed anything to speak of. I pretty much enjoyed the day at the apartment just going over to the market briefly to pick up some cottage cheese and a couple of other spontaneous purchases. The whole bag of groceries cost $11.95 or something like that.

Getting dressed this morning wasn't quite a struggle but it was a struggle nonetheless. Working on dressing off and on it probably took a good 2 hours to get dressed this morning. I stress too much I think and put over time into getting on my green shorts today. Try as I may I couldn't get enough elevation on my bridge to pull the shorts up over my hips the way they should be. The end result was a very twisted pair of shorts. Off and on throughout the morning I worked at trying to pull the shirts around so they are centered right with my body didn't really work that much but after I'd gotten my stick and my bag and whatever sitting on my lap I was good enough to go for me. I think I looked hideous but that's just the way things are these days. One day soon I may even break down in get a Home Health person to dress me everyday. I don't know if I could afford that as it is right now but who knows in time.? I'm paying closer attention to my little pile of wealth that I have at the credit union. It seems I lose a little bit more wealth every month. A lot of that wealth has been used in paying off the dentist for my awful teeth. Theoretically one would think that that would certainly take care of itself over time and they can start building up cash reserves again. I just don't know if I have the time anymore. As long as I have the pension coming in every month I should be okay. I must confess however that the money that I'm spending these days is what's left over from the 2000 Trump gave us a couple years ago. I banked it and I've been using a little bit here and there the past couple of weeks more than I have ever before.

I am also realizing that I'm using my credit card more than I have ever done before as well. It scares me when my balance on the credit card just to be like two or three hundred dollars. When this happens I just pay it down as fast as I can. Credit balance drives me crazy especially now where they talk about it all the time on NPR. I don't want to be the reason the debt fails..

Evening winds and distant Thunder

It's one of those near and summer beautiful nights, Thunder roaring in the distance occasional flashes of flat lightning and occasional raindrops accompanied by quick short blast of wind. They all tie in together to lower the temperature a little bit to make the whole evening enjoyable and bearable even though summer is fastly coming to an end. I've been fortunate the last week or so that have not had any meetings or commitments have had to address so I'm spending long days at home mostly in the apartment. Often I go out and read in the common area also known as the patio. Large clouds are floating in the sky blocking the Sun keeping the temperature quite enjoyable. When the clouds move in the sun peeks through it immediately heats up the whole area. Luckily for me that was not an issue today. I started a new book I think I briefed you on that yesterday got into it maybe three chapters now it's about the Kennedys and I'm finding it not that boring for a documentary type book. The book is Well written. Sometimes there are passages that are borderline boring but I'm learning just to jump past those pieces of writing. I have not had to but if I were to justify my long periods of being alone in the apartment I would use the excuse of having the layout flat or near flat in my power chair to mimic staying in bed. I would rather be somewhat uncomfortable and stretched out in my power chair then having to play stretched out into my bed being lonely and fear of being forgotten. That doesn't seem to be an issue and I'm blessed on that level. 

What I did do today that was quite pleasureful if not fun for me was as soon as I got up this morning and functional around 6:00 a.m. I started a double batch of rice. Yes, I finished my process of project of making a batch of Frank. I got the rice made this morning and then processed celery, onions, and later on in the afternoon white chicken meat from the breast that I purchased last weekend for this project. I also fetched out one of the cans of carrots that I have in my Supply drained it and add it to the concoction when I finally started the task. I really did not take as long as I thought it would take at least felt that it would take to do this work quite enjoyable as well I had to NPR in the background. I would like to say that that's quite beneficial but you know what? I have a major frustration issue with the local NPR affiliate, kuer. Inherently doing an article or an interview or a story even, and many of their stories are quite good, the whole channel will cut out and go to dead space or dead air. I'm not sure why this happens except for someone's inadequacy at the station at least that's what it always feels like. It probably has nothing to do with anything like that but it sure feels that way and I never get used to the whole Channel just cutting out nothing but dead air. And then verbally it happens during a really good story that you'd like to find out how it completes itself. It's probably something to do with the Airways or something like that but I think as soon as I can find the right number to call I want to call the University radio station and find out if they're doing anything stupid that would cause major minutes of blackout. I don't know when I'll get to this project I'd like to say immediately but history tells or shows that I never do that. I talk a good time but carry through is a whole other frustration