I swear this bowel uncertainty is getting really old. I really thought I was settling down but today as I was getting ready to go to my doctor's appointment all the sudden I got a tremendous urge that I'm going to poop and I've been trying to mitigate the issue as much as I could. Fortunately, nothing's really happened yet but just have that Sensation that any second if I hit something the wrong way bump wise in the chair or something it's going to let go and I'm going to have a poop-a-rama. I'm not even that concerned about it anymore it's happened so often but it's certainly allows me not to do anything. That sounds pretty awkward since wise but I'm not going to fix it. I ended up calling and canceling my appointment which is okay by me. The appointment is with my urologist and it was a follow-up appointment from about 6 months ago if I remember right. I rescheduled till next week and hopefully I can get this whole thing settled down but it doesn't really seem to be happening too much. It's now 10:15 in the evening- - I've made it through the day now I just have to be careful that I wrap myself up in pads and stuff that so if I let go during the night the poop will be limited just to the pads that I have surrounding me. I have a senior diaper that I wish I could wear better that I can put on myself better I guess I should say. I can just sort of reach back and kind of put it in the right place to hope for the best. So far the senior diapers have worked fairly well I've been kind of surprised. It's not like I was going to do anything horrendous or big time today anyway and I missed it because of the uncertainty but it's just the idea especially if I have to travel on public transit and should have a problem in the middle of a bus trip how am I going to ride that one out? I guess the answer is you just have to and people give you a wide berth I guess. I know I've pooped before on the bus but nothing horrendous not to the point where people could tell I had just dumped a major load. And luckily I wasn't a large enough load that this odor was anywhere except right on top of me. The driver probably realized when he went to unstrap me but I don't think anybody else did still it's freaky and something I do not want to have to deal with if I don't have to. As it is now I have a lunch appointment on Thursday. Luckily we'll just be going to the park next to the complex where I live and hopefully it'll be in the middle of the day and I won't have to poop at that point. Luckily the first time having lunch with has spent a lifetime in Rehabilitation services so it won't freak him out too much still I'd rather not have to go through that experience..

