Letters

 

Letters stuffed, sealed and stamped ready for the mail drop

Following almost a week of pretty nice weather, warm temperatures and fairly dry conditions a cold front moved in over the evening and made for a pretty chilly day. True temperatures are like in the mid 50s which doesn't seem like cold but after a couple days of the 70s it felt like we were moving back into winter. The high point of my day of course was breakfast with the kids Mark as well as Jasmine and Jackson showed up we had a good breakfast visited fairly well and pretty much hung out. By the time I got home I was committed to staying inside for the rest of the day which I almost did. I did go out and Chase down a little sunshine really not enough to allow me to stay out for very long which was okay. I spent a good portion of the day finishing the letter project for the kids. I got the letters printed as well as the envelopes and stuffed with the $10 bills for the kids that still received money. Rectum put the stamps on and sent them away. I watched probably way too much television as well I finished the series with the Punisher and already feel somewhat better. Punisher is so violent I can't believe it's allowed to be televised. I watched a couple movies on Prime but that was pretty much my day. This is a little bit with my neighbors.

I wish I could report that my wounded arm is getting better. The bruisiness just about left and to be honest there is less pain than I had experienced earlier but there are times when I try to raise my arm or use the arm as I usually do especially what I'm in bed trying to get up that I have excruciating pain in my bicep area. Hopefully, this appendage will heal itself however if I'm lucky enough to be seen by physical or other therapists this week I will certainly bring this up and see what they say. I really hope there is some sort of RX that will fix this issue that I'm having. It certainly is somewhat depressing. I'm not really totally focused on the end game but seems like my thoughts are getting more and more to that area as this issue with my arm continues to progress. This is really true in the mornings when I transfer from my bed to the chair. It would be so much easier if I could actually use my left arm to hang off the trapeze without aggravating the wound and the bicep area. It really has to be a repair of some sort. I sure like my apartment but hate to lose it. I've been fantasizing that maybe what's wrong as I've torn the muscle off the bone or something and I have to have an operation to restore it and how would I do that? I would certainly try to keep this apartment while I was going through healing and then rehab if that was the procedure to use if so like I said hopefully a professional will be around sometime this week and will be able to progress to the next step. I swear I keep coming back to the idea that sooner or later my regular chair is going to come back to me and hopefully all this stuff will disintegrate and I'll be able to go back to the way that it was though there's something in the back of my head saying you can't go back you can never go back.

Idle arm bike

 Little bit by little bit I think I'm somewhat getting better as far as my injured left arm goes. The bruises are going away and if I don't stress the arm out it doesn't hurt just hanging there and I think that's progress. I did notice last night and this morning that if I tried to really use the trapeze above the bed I really aggravate that muscle system. I'm still somewhat suspect that I have damaged that musculature system somehow. I probably really need to have it looked at and supposedly I have a May appointment with Physicians and maybe I can have them look at it if it's still bothering me. All I know is that it takes me awhile to get up but I'm very careful and don't hang on the trapeze I could get it to my chair and then once there I can negotiate the rest of the transfer eventually. I did fairly well on my dressing this morning I feel that's encouraging. I have my slick shorts for tomorrow so hopefully I can get dressed well within the time limit I have if I wake up at 5:30 or 6:00 a.m.. I still don't even entertain the idea of putting on shoes but I'll just see what I can come up with the time frame that I have to work with. Remember last week Mark had to come over and dress me. I hope I will be better tomorrow at least better than I was today.

I'm feeling a little guilty not utilizing my arm bike like I have been the last couple months or years for that matter. The arm trauma for some reason has really affected my ability to use the crank on the armbike especially doing the push-up part of the hand cycle. Coming down on either side's not that painful but pushing up is another issue. I'll give it till Monday and then try again on Monday to see if I can get some exercise and therefore some better sleep. Maybe I'll have to work up to 200 minute weeks again once I start being able to use the crank more efficiently unless painful to the bicep and other pieces of muscle that seemed to have been impacted by something I've done. The power chair however is not as bad as it was especially since my brother affixed the foot boxes on the chair. I'm putting a lot of stress on the left foot box and I don't know if I can do anything else about that just be more careful. I've inadvertently drove my chair into walls and stuff just getting around in the morning for instance. That's all I would need to do is to break one of the foot boxes as soon as I got them. I think Carl would just about give up on me at that point. Now I have to make a decision on whether to invest money on new batteries or better batteries for this chair I'm in now. I think the batteries are pretty weak charge wise. Today I went to the coffee shop and back and then over to the market and brought me down to about 69% charge. I think it's less than 2.4 MI which I guess actually is not that bad. I think if I have to go into my regular Tuesday meeting I should have enough power to get there and back if I don't do any messing around in between or especially on the road home. Tuesday means I will be dressing myself hopefully I'll be presentable. I just have to make sure that I have a long enough shirt tied my obesity especially on the rear right side.. I have found that if I don't do the top button up or can't do the top button up I can hide it pretty well with whatever shirt I'm wearing if I pull it over the outside of me as well as the safety belt fasten just the right way and then stuffing my cell phone in my pants. Certainly makes it easier in the evening when I need to push my shorts off. I had instructed Melissa yesterday to do that and she did not and I was surprised and quite pleased last night when that button was pretty secure and tight however I was able to maneuver my hands in such a way to be able to push the button from the buttonhole and it didn't take me nearly as long as usual too just rub and get into bed finally.a

My Owee

Im sure all of you are getting somewhat sick and tired of me whining about the physical traumas I'm having to endure at this point in time as a result, as I see it, my power chair in the shop and having to deal with other modes of transportation much less suited to my needs. I believe I mentioned it briefly yesterday but now the wound or whatever is on my arm is just or does not seem to be getting any better. I'd like to say it stasis I'd like to say that it's the same but I must be very careful with it that I don't aggravate it. I don't know what it is as far as what's causing the bruising I sort of suspect it might be something like a muscle issue of some sort I don't want to say a torn muscle that would be horrible and I don't know how that could have happened but something has happened and it's not getting any better I don't think not right now and it's again Friday which means no Services now till at least Monday I don't know what would happen if I went into the ER but I don't know if I would need to regarding this situation. I go to bed at night thinking that perhaps with the rest and such I will feel better in the morning or at least the arm will not hurt as much. But it's when I reach up for the triangle or the trapeze bar that I tend to possibly reinjure the appendage it really is frustrating. I'm not right side however I seem to be adjusting to the chair a little bit better. It's still not very comfortable and I don't think ever will be but I am being able to get from point A to point B. Today I went to Walmart and actually picked up a pair of hair clippers. I found some for $12 and Melissa seems to be pretty anxious but to cut my hair and I truly think she knows what she's doing. She does the whole thing for her son and her son is pretty much into the the current modern haircuts especially for minority kids the fade and all that kind of stuff. And my hair cutting is not super critical as far as critical cuts and straight lines and things like that I just want basically a buzz. There were clippers for 12 24 36 bucks even more if I really wanted to get fancy but it was so confusing because there are clippers for the hair and clippers for the beard and such and I wasn't sure which one to get finally I got some help from some of their folks which greatly assisted me. Sorry I got off on a bit of a tangent they're back to my arm today I had Melissa assist me on my shorts as usual getting them on it was a bit of a struggle but we did it I'd asked her to leave the top button undone but she did not and that caused some stress but I'm pleased to acknowledge that I was able to undo the button. I kind of got spoiled the other day when I spent the day without even button up my pants hiding everything with the safety belt of the chair. Tomorrow will be another challenge to see if I can get myself dressed and make myself presentable enough to go over for coffee or any place else that I go. Disable pull it off day before yesterday so we'll see what happens. I'm beginning to understand this chair a bit better and that is significant cuz I think that allows me to at least know I can sure I can dress myself or pull my shorts up and of course that's the biggie then I need to get it make sure I have a shirt that's big enough to cover all of my possible exposures. It's the 25th five more days April so I'd better get busy working on my kid letters for the month of May….

A little bit of lunch, a little bit of sunshine and a little bit of rain

 I survived the day in this new chair are the chair that we remodeled yesterday with the help of my brother with the foot boxes. Even with these added conveniences for me it's still going to be very difficult too spend any significant time in this power chair. I was fortunate I was able to cross my legs to be able to get my shorts on but it took me I bet you're almost an hour to get my shorts on and I didn't even really get them on I just put them on far enough that I could put on a long shirt to cover the fact that I wasn't able to get them up high enough to do them up as well as on my hip and everything else I guess that looked okay nobody could tell and I asked a number of folks to look at me critically. I had to make sure that I was dressed all right because I was going to lunch with my buddy Dwayne. We weren't going out he was bringing sandwiches in but still I was able to pull it off I don't know if I'll be able to continue to do this hopefully to some degree. I need to get a new cushion or one of my other cushions that's got the jail in it that I can maneuver to sit underneath my butt because this cushion doesn't seem to be doing a lot of protection. The transfer to bed last night was a little precarious because the chair I have now is not as high above the mattress as the other chairs have been making the rollover a little spooky cuz I don't get to fall as deep and so there's higher chances of me maybe falling off the bed hopefully the transfer tonight will be okay.

I was so impressed I got to call early this morning for my physical therapist actually he was the coordinator over the physical therapist from Intermountain Healthcare and he came out and did an evaluation on me just an initial eval he asked me questions and I gave him information about myself but I expected out of a program if possible all that kind of stuff. Sounds pretty positive next step now is that he's going to send out a occupational therapist to go through my living situation and make comments and recommendations and such. He's also going to set up I think someone to come out and look at some of the issues I'm going through physically and hopefully that will have some impact as well. The bottom line and the whole thing is that I feel that something's being done and that's good. The scary part is is that I'm admitting to a lot of people that have lost confidence in myself or I'm in the process of losing it as I'm not able to do as much physically as I once was. Again I hope this is all situational and well return with the return of my chair in a couple weeks. We'll have to see how that works out. Part of this conversation also came up with Dwayne at lunch today that I'm trying to be able to set myself up to accept whatever verdicts might come down as far as living independently in my own apartment, assisted living and worst case scenario in-house living the long-term care facility. It still makes the most sense to keep me in my apartment even with supports it's cheaper than long-term care or any kind of In-House living facility. I don't think it threatens me as much as it scares me hearing all the bad stories of what comes out of long-term care facilities especially the ones that only low income folks could afford- not saying that I'm low income but I'm certainly not a big roller that's for sure. Today was warm I spent a good part of it outside in the back of the apartments enjoying the Sun in between the clouds. I actually took my chair out to the market and got caught in a minor thunderstorm that was just passing through I got a few drops on my head but not too bad the chair made it there and back again I don't think the batteries are that good but I think they're good enough if I use a full charge on a Tuesday to get me downtown to my meeting and back. We're still having really strange feelings regarding my current situation or thought processes are whatever it is call it depression or what but I don't feel as constrained as I did. I may be deluding myself thinking that it's all going to work out but I somehow think it's going to work out whatever is it supposed to work out and I don't even know if that makes any sense..

Football modification

My foot sitting in the new football Edition to the backup chair

I have always kind of prided myself on not really being a person that comes to depression but I have to confess that of late I'm being somewhat challenged on whether I could say I'm depressed or not. If anything it's a situation or depression that I'm sure because overall I still feel pretty good about everything and that everything will return to some form of normalcy- - at least that's what I truly want to believe. This morning I was able to get out of bed into my chair I took a bit of work but I did it and I was trying to get dressed when suddenly the chair failed again I was trapped in the chair that was tilted to a certain degree. I ended up having to call my brother who came over and actually got my chair functional again as well as finished dressing me which I totally appreciated but like I said is really beginning to wax down my Independence and myself concept. Today I was presented with another power chair from my good friends over at u c a t, it's a chair very similar to this one and a bit newer. The chairman now is pretty old and I think that's part of the issue with it. The only problem with the new chairs that there is no foot box and I've come to rely heavily on wheelchair foot boxes and keeping my feet in the Box while I transfer which not only helps with the transfer but keeps me in the chair and not sliding out on the floor dash dash which has happened. This newer chair now looks like a good alternative it'll cost a little bit if I want to purchase it 250 bucks which is a deal but at the same time that would give me two chairs of back up I'll get well I would get rid of this one I'm in right now the bad chair then I would keep the old power chairs being repaired now when I get my brand new chair which should happen at some point in time in the near future. I most likely will end up with three chairs all together at some point which kind of freaks me out. And the big question is am I going to continue to live independently in my apartment or am I going to have to start looking at long-term care? The reason I bring this up is that I think this chair I'm in now because I'm sitting so cattywampus I have to keep pulling myself up with my left arm, which is my good arm, which has become very painful to the point that I can barely use it for things that I need like armbike today I only did a half an hour on bike when I usually do an hour on bikes on Tuesdays. So hopefully rehab are in House Rehab might help at least let me know if I'm actually true and thinking that it's the arm pulling that's hurting my arm and nothing more Progressive. I'm totally hoping that with this new chair that I could get back into my old way of living independently on my own in the regular apartment

Speaking in that vein I did make some phone calls to my physician this morning just to find out what I could do to increase my chances of living independently and I was wondering if he could write up some information about me needed to go into rehab for strengthening and other options for extended living in the community and not long-term care. So much to think about.

Depressed situationally

I have always kind of prided myself on not really being a person that comes to depression but I have to confess that of late I'm being somewhat challenged on whether I could say I'm depressed or not. If anything it's a situation or depression that I'm sure because overall I still feel pretty good about everything and that everything will return to some form of normalcy- - at least that's what I truly want to believe. This morning I was able to get out of bed into my chair I took a bit of work but I did it and I was trying to get dressed when suddenly the chair failed again I was trapped in the chair that was tilted to a certain degree. I ended up having to call my brother who came over and actually got my chair functional again as well as finished dressing me which I totally appreciated but like I said is really beginning to wax down my Independence and myself concept. Today I was presented with another power chair from my good friends over at u c a t, it's a chair very similar to this one and a bit newer. The chairman now is pretty old and I think that's part of the issue with it. The only problem with the new chairs that there is no foot box and I've come to rely heavily on wheelchair foot boxes and keeping my feet in the Box while I transfer which not only helps with the transfer but keeps me in the chair and not sliding out on the floor dash dash which has happened. This newer chair now looks like a good alternative it'll cost a little bit if I want to purchase it 250 bucks which is a deal but at the same time that would give me two chairs of back up I'll get well I would get rid of this one I'm in right now the bad chair then I would keep the old power chairs being repaired now when I get my brand new chair which should happen at some point in time in the near future. I most likely will end up with three chairs all together at some point which kind of freaks me out. And the big question is am I going to continue to live independently in my apartment or am I going to have to start looking at long-term care? The reason I bring this up is that I think this chair I'm in now because I'm sitting so cattywampus I have to keep pulling myself up with my left arm, which is my good arm, which has become very painful to the point that I can barely use it for things that I need like armbike today I only did a half an hour on bike when I usually do an hour on bikes on Tuesdays. So hopefully rehab are in House Rehab might help at least let me know if I'm actually true and thinking that it's the arm pulling that's hurting my arm and nothing more Progressive. I'm totally hoping that with this new chair that I could get back into my old way of living independently on my own in the regular apartment

Speaking in that vein I did make some phone calls to my physician this morning just to find out what I could do to increase my chances of living independently and I was wondering if he could write up some information about me needed to go into rehab for strengthening and other options for extended living in the community and not long-term care. So much to think about.

Hubris

 From time to time I've often written about how I feel about technology and our inanimate objects ganging up on me, for no apparent reason everything mechanical and electrical seem to be ganging up against me well I'm in the middle of another techno storm and it's kind of freaking me out. The worst part of this techno storm came this afternoon and for some reason my power chair stopped working while I was in the reclined position. I didn't have my cell phone I was in the middle of the kitchen because actually I Was preparing dinner so is later than middle of the afternoon it was 4:30ish. I didn't have anyway to Signal anybody and all I can do is yell and scream. Eventually got one of my neighbors Armando who was walking by. I don't know this guy very well though I should we've lived here about the same amount time. It was a rough way to get to know the guy better. Anyway, I was able to direct him to find my cell phone it was on my bed and bring it in to me and is able to call a few people. By this point in time my technical group was off work it was about 5 minutes after 5:00 in the afternoon all the state employees have gone home. I did call my brother he was able to come over and between us be able to get my chair J-rigged and working again. I'm totally impressed with my brother as always he was able to get me going again whether he fixed it or not I'm not sure time will tell for that but he did give me permission to call him if I get stuck again before tomorrow morning. I spoke to my buddies over at u c a t who indicated they would work with me and see if they can get a solution for this problem worst case scenario they'll try to find another chair that I can borrow until my regular chair gets fixed or maybe they can figure out what's wrong with this one. Hopefully I can get this chair going until they're able to get to me tomorrow afternoon or morning whenever they get pull themselves away from their regular jobs to help me out. 

I'm not even sure if I'm going to be able to get this posted tonight for some reason all of my internet connections seem to be messed up. Took me quite a while to get this tablet I'm working with right now operationally connected to the internet that hopefully I can post this when it's time. Like I said it's a technical storm for some reason I'm getting the brunt of it right now I just hope my bed holds out and the chair Works through tomorrow morning so I can get myself dressed and such. I really depend on those power chairs to keep me going I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I run up against the wall and I can't depend on him anymore. I'm almost considering airing up the tires of my old manual chair and using it as my backup. I still have pretty good upper body arms for quadriplegic and before I stopped early using the manual chair I was able to push myself around fairly well at least locally and I wouldn't take it on the bus to try to take them getting back and forth in my apartment in bathroom and back again. I have to admit I've been pretty smart the last couple years having a backup chair as well as my regular chair and all hubris turned around and hit me on the butt to bring me back

Easter concerns

I'm trying not to get too alarmed at the events that are happening and right now I can blame everything or I trying to blame everything on the backup chair that I'm having to use while my regular chair is in the shop. But one thing I've noticed in the last couple of days that I've had to dress myself is that I'm losing my ability to dress myself independently. Today is Sunday of course so that means I meet the kids for breakfast. That's basically getting dressed and driving up the road to Dee's Restaurant and then having breakfast with mark and Jasmine if she and her boyfriend show up. Today for the first time I actually slept in a half an hour. I didn't wake until 6:00:30ish which is very rare in fact, I did wake up at 5:00 a.m. and didn't register it being Sunday morning and actually went back to sleep till 6:30 a.m. today I took my medications and a couple shots of apple juice to get my system operational I didn't have any fresh coffee made I took a couple sips from the old coffee which is okay but I really need the sugar impact I would get from the apple juice. Anyway I went back to the bedroom and started trying to get dressed and for one reason or another I couldn't cross my right leg over my left leg which usually is fairly easy to do. I worked on for some time and eventually I'd used up all my time. Mark messaged me that he was being late and I told him I was having a problem too and I was going to be late. He then asked if I was having some problems and I told him I was and he said he would stop by what you did. I continue to work on my dressing till he got here and actually got the shorts on my legs was pulling them up or trying to when he got here to assist which is about I don't know 20 minutes later. By then I was pretty exhausted and with Mark's help that's quite ready to get dressed and did so very quickly him assisted me with my shoes and helping me off my shirt and off we went to Dee's.

The kids didn't join us with just good we had a great conversation and would have gone longer but Mark had to be gone to one of his events that he hosts or is the DJ for the event. All sounds complicated to me but that's what he does. Following that I went back to the apartment and really watched a couple of Punisher episodes but would go back outside and sit in the Sun. It was pretty warm today off and up when the clouds didn't block the light. I'd go out and lay out for an hour come back in and watch another episode. I thought about reading which I really need to do but it was just easier to turn the TV on and get the episodes out of the way. I finally finished season 1 which was pretty good I think I still have two seasons to go we'll see what happens on that.

Just trying to live with a possible broken tooth.. again

 

You really can't tell from this picture but it's the front tooth on the top side left from The Middle if that makes any sense it still functional however and that's good for me.

Saturday night and it's after 8:30 and the biggest thing I have to look forward to, which is a great thing actually as far as this goes, is having breakfast tomorrow with my son and possibly granddaughter and her boyfriend. Our Sunday morning breakfasts have become somewhat of a tradition. Mark and I usually have breakfast but always feel blessed with the kids can join us. I just love spending time with the family especially Mark and Jasmine. Today has been kind of a challenge for me first off I was disappointed when I got up spent actual time getting ready and getting in my chair and getting my chair squared away so I could at least get dressed. I can't isolate whether I can no longer dress myself like I used to or it's my power chair or lack of the power chair that I traditionally use. Whatever the issue is that I can't dress myself like I used to and putting my clothes on has become a challenge. We usually have breakfast at 8:00 a.m. so I up at 6:00 a.m. in order to throw my clothes on but the last couple of weeks on Sunday morning from 6:00 on I've struggled to get dressed. Hopefully tomorrow things will go smoothly for me and I'll be able to get up transfer into my bed. I have the transfers down pretty good but what's happening now is that I don't know if it's my spasticity is becoming more pronounced or my legs are becoming more overtaken by spasms or maybe I just said the same thing. We'll have to see in the morning. I cannot say that I'm surprised or whatever all I know is that I'm getting older everyday. Hopefully when if my old chair gets back to me I am hoping I will be able to dress and get going like I used to. Sadly, something's happening with my body and I have no control over the outcome.

Now, to make matters worse I must report that I was eating some hard candy, not hard candy like that old lady Christmas candy or something else that I need to write down. I may have written about this at some point in time in the last year but I have a really old box of black cows licorice that Karen or Diana gotten for me number of years ago then went to my my thing drawer where everything lands that is no longer a value or use but it's just too neat to be thrown away. Anyway I do like the size of these basically electric scum drops that of so dehydrated it's self that's the only way you can ingest these gum drops is to just suck on them until they eventually dissolve and fade away. Towards the end of the little hardcore lives they become soft again it's a little chewy I made this mistake of diet cutting or biting into one of them this morning and somehow and I should have known this it listened I think this fake tooth I have in the front that's broken off over the time and the dentist across the street just keeps me going. Anyway a piece of this rubber bike electric candy wedge between my tooth and my real tooth and I thought sure I was going to break a piece off but it hasn't broken but I do since it's loose it up and that's got me worried a little bit I can't really bite down on anything like nuts to eat and hopefully I'll just have to see how bad it is baby next week I'll drop in at the dentist across the street. He might be able to reinforce his work that he's the one that's keeping this tooth going for me I really like the guy. So I've been nursing this possible broken tooth and went shopping and brought the stuff home put away kind of. Now I'm just really chickened about anything I bite into afraid that's going to break the tooth off and I still have Easter to get throug…h

Conclusion

I was a little dishearted this morning when I started roaming around in my power chair and realized that I had slipped off one of the zip ties my brother had fastened around the control box mounted it to the chair itself. This meant that eventually I was going to lose the other zip tie and I would be back to holding the control box again and trying to get around. However, I was bouyed by the thought that Robert from ucat would be dropping by with the possibility of a solution to the problem. I really wasn't too concerned really even if Robert didn't have what I needed I can always go back to Carl and have him just zip tie the contraption again and this time just be very much more careful and how I treat my power chair control system. Today was cold and wet for this time of the year Well actually spring is like spring and that's what it's like this is. There is snow in some parts of the state quite a bit of it so I like to stay inside the whole day nothing to go out for actually I've got everything I need right now. I was so pleased that Melissa was able to get here about an hour and a half I had to schedule around 7:00 a.m. which I kind of requested because I wanted to make sure that I was done with my morning routine by the time that Robert got here. That was really not a problem because he was about an hour late anyway so it all worked out. It was nice however to get everything done by 8:30 a.m. I was done and ready for the day. I was a little concerned because I didn't really make that much of a poop and now I'm going into the long time two days before I can poop again. Such a weird life I live

Robert finally got here about 11:00 and went to work on my chair he brought with him three or four other control pieces only one of which actually fit my chair but that's okay all I need was one. Needs to be cleaned up a little bit and I can do that but what's best is that it's a solid fixture to the Rod that fixes it to the chair. I should be able to use this until the extinction of this particular chair. We did talk about the possibility of trying to find another elevator type chair like my chair is. Robert indicates those are rare birds at this point but he will certainly keep his eye open to see if one might show up if he does he will set it aside we'll figure out a way for me to get it. He just wants to be sure how wide to get it. I told him that the chair I'm in now is probably a little wider than I need and I think that's part of the problem for the pain in my left side my shoulder and my arm by having to pull myself up to Center myself it seems like a thousand times a day. I'm just happy now to have a really functional chair so I don't have to worry about too much. I'm still anxious about the battery but I seem to have enough power to do what I need to do right now I just got to keep an eye on the gauge and make sure I don't over text myself. The storms move out tonight though tomorrow the sun will be out but it'll still be quite chilly I don't know if I'm going out I need to run to the market to get some juice to get me through the weekend but aside from that I'm okay. I pulled all the beef off of the roast stuck at in the refrigerator so I have the roast chicken legs Frank, fixing for a salad so I'm really prepared. I still have sausages for beans and rice and I should be set for a while though I do like the cooking aspect no question about that …

Quick fix

 

One of the most important parts of any power chair is the toggle switch on the drive mechanism which is that box off the arm of the chair that has a toggle switch on that you used to drive the chair frontwards backwards and up and down when you have a riser or an elevator seat. And of course you want to keep that particular piece of equipment guarded so nothing happens. Remember this is a backup chair that I'm in right now so everything's not going to be Prime but it still has to be functional. I noticed the last couple days that the drive box was getting a little Wiggly but I figured I didn't have to worry about that too much hopefully my other chair will get repaired sooner than later but today that came to worry was quite well founded. I've been focused on cooking a roast all day which means I'm in and out and around my cooking area. I have taken out one of the drawers under the shelving area by my refrigerator which allows me to get under the shelf so I can do meal prep food prep stuff like that. But when I do I must remember to gently go under this shelving and to be sure that the arm of the chair is loose so the arm can rise up as it goes under the Shelf. As I've reported in the past chair is a little squirrely in that you can want to stop but it keeps going a few inches many times which I think is just the control box getting old anyway today I went forward not too concerned and I hadn't I'm done the arm of the chair which caused the control box to snap off its mounting which means I have to very very carefully hold the control box in one hand and try to drive it with the other which is very challenging and I think to some degree very dangerous particularly if I were to be out in the world but even around the house or apartment this is a little weird. So of course I called my brother who did the brotherly thing after he had finished spending time with his daughter to come over to my place and see if we could repair this item. In the meantime, since I didn't want to put all my eggs in one basket, I called the boys over at Utah Center for assistive technology and spoke with Robert who works a lot on chairs. Thankfully when I told him the problem and sent over images of the broken control box he put my Fierce to rest indicate that they had a repair for the problem and he would be over in the afternoon tomorrow to make that repair. It only cost me 20 bucks which I figured is well worth it. In the meantime my brother came over and with some great zip ties was able to fix the control box back to its mount which will greatly assist me in surviving until then and he did such a good job, as he always does, that I could just leave it with that if that were the case. However fortunately I think Robert from Utah Center for assistive technology well fix my chair and maybe keep me going until my other chair is repaired… whatever that might be.

But comfort and a whole lot more

 Today's one of the better days for my butt was not in pain like it has been the last couple of days which I think was just tape thing that was on the bottom of my butt and Melissa did a great job changing it this morning and I felt relatively comfortable all day. Still I'm feeling some what responsible to lay back and take the weight off the butt as much as I can and today has been somewhat cloudy and overcast so hasn't been a loss. I did go out later in the afternoon with surprised how nice the day is and fairly warm but that will be ending tonight as a little pressure system Moves In with threats of rain and thunder tomorrow with possible snow today after. Of course the snow will be insignificant but it will be cold comparatively speaking and I really plan to stay in size but as I can next couple of days. I made chicken Frank tonight. Boiled up some rice then opened up a a bag of chicken I've had in the cupboard for some time it was sealed so it's safe. It's white chicken meat but it'll do. Initially I was going to use the chicken legs that I fried up the other day but it seemed like the the package of chicken that I had would suffice for rice tonight. I did not destroy the kitchen totally but it's a bit of a mess. Hopefully Gloria will be here tomorrow if she's not totally depressed and under the weather. That's okay it's always good to see you Gloria when she could make it. You still have an issues with her family and it takes a toll on the girl. Melissa did a great job sweeping up this morning and putting some things in order so I'm okay. I just need to maybe mop up tomorrow a little bit from the cooking I did today. I am thinking very strongly of throwing the roast on tomorrow just so I'll have it cooked it out of the refrigerator but I also have some fun protein for the for the weekend. I wonder if I begin to plan too much. Sometimes I really kind of freak myself out. I didn't do much on the toilet this morning which kind of worries me but I think I'll be able to get by until Friday it's the Friday and the weekend that bothers me when I can't get on the toilet until Monday after Friday morning. So if I don't do a major load on Friday I'm feeling somewhat risky for the weekend. I guess I'm okay as long as Melissa's around and is willing to help she certainly says she will and she always comes through sometimes not as fast as I would like but still she's always been there very steady. All I have to do is have enough food in the refrigerator that she likes and she'll always be here it sounds like. I even did the arm bike today I think I got a little confused but I'm pretty sure I got it 60 Minutes in so that just leaves 20 minutes to get to my 200 Mark but I might do extra just to make sure.

Chicken legs and taxes

It's tax day but I doubt if you need me to tell you that. Did you get them in or did you have to ask for an extension. I never did the tax thing very well I wish I had I wish I understood it better and I wish I had enough money to worry about taxes I guess. Sad but true I really didn't pay any taxes until I got married and then I never really did the taxes she did but there was the first second or third wife. They all did the taxes I never really really learned how. Now that I'm in my retirement I'm not really sure how this all works except for it depends on how much you have coming in and I don't think I have enough to really worry about. At least that's what I keep telling myself and hoping. I wouldn't be surprised if some moment now or not to distance future I get a summons from IRS indicating they want me to come in to talk about all of my back taxes and what I owe. I'll probably have nightmares accordingly now that I've said that. I really think I'm basically okay if they would have gotten me they would have gotten me before now. And now they're terribly understaffed because of the Trump thing so maybe it's even better All Things Considered. It must be nice however to get a refund or to get whatever it is that you get back when you do your taxes the right way. We got money back I never really thought because the exes did the taxes and when the tax return came in it was just blended into the regular family budget. I just pretty much went along with whatever was going on at the time it was safer that way. I don't know how many years I went without filing taxes when I was single. It just sort of evaded me the whole concept.

Remember that tray of chicken legs I got a week or so ago? I really like those trays of chicken legs there's about 9 or 10 of them all Stockton plastic covered paper tray and they're relatively easy to prepare. I guess if I did them right that would be a lot more process but as it is I don't bread them or dredge them or anything like that I just take him out throw them in the frying pan with some peanut oil and let him fry up. Actually I'm a lot more motivated when I see the product in the market then when I get home it's a different aspect and I kind of lose my Zeal for frying the pieces of chicken up. I think the next time I might actually purchase a box of shake and bake and threw the whole bunch of legs into the oven and bake them. I really like to have them around sort of like boiled eggs you always have something to eat and with chicken legs it's more than just one bite of meat that you get a nice little meal there and then if you also cook some rice or something it's quite a treat I think. The peanut oil acts real well as a cooking agent. We'll see now that the cooking is done I've had a couple for dinner and still have the others to put away then I'll be time to fry or watch the frying pad then we'll see how good it did. I went into town today for my assist meeting I was really pleased with the way the chair handled I did okay I'm still terribly looking forward to the repaired chair but as this is I might be able to survive better than anticipated before my other chair gets back my fingers are crossed… 

Aftermath and a new day

I'm feeling a little better tonight than I did last night. I certainly don't have the urgency right now that I had last night it was grim. So hopefully I'll be able to do the 500 Words on this update. Adelaide a pretty good size load in my shorts and was ready to get out of them by the time that Melissa finally showed up. It was late I don't think it was 12:00 a.m. yet but it was getting close but she got me out of my shorts onto the slinging into the shower chair we get hosing me off and then went to hosing off the chair after she got me in the shower and I started finishing the job. We got the job cleaned up as well as we could fortunate that night go at this point was to just get me diapers up and into the bed and getting some shut eye and since Monday is her usual time she would be here and we would be able to clean up what was left.

We fi!nished the routine when she got back here about half past 9:00 a.m. this morning. She did a little more clean up both on me and the shower in the floor of the shower particularly. I went through the whole process and hopefully emptied enough bowel of liquid matter and gas to get me through the day I think. I haven't been anxious today and I haven't felt gastric churning and cramping. I have been ingesting cheese and bananas and any other thing I think might assist me in building fecal matter again that is not liquid. I hope things will get back to normal soon I have to go into the city on Tuesday, tomorrow, for my assist meeting that's all I'm worried about at this point. Since the bow is pretty well empty I think I should be okay until Wednesday let me do the process again. My goal today was to ingest binding matter and basically get through the day. I did go across the street and get a half a pound of coffee would you get me through I think the rest of the month. That was my longest jaunt today I didn't even get a mile distance on my chair today coming in at 7:10 for the evening. I watched movies today caught up on Daredevil and watched Guardians of the Galaxy for the first time in quite a while it was nice getting back in contact with the old guys. I try to sit out in the sun today it was just too chilly even though it was clear skies bright Sun but a chilly wind. I bet he got up into the middle 60s but it just didn't feel all that comfortable. I did catch a few rays and that was good.

Has Melissa was leaving last night I madly was trying to think of things for her to do before she left and of course I forgot a lot the biggest thing I forgot was my hugging pillow. She put me down on the bed with the sling I usually roll off into bed from the chair so I was right on the edge and I was a little worried I was going to roll off I think if I had my pillow I wouldn't have been so nervous. But I've got the pillow for tonight I'm a little excited about hitting the sack when it's time I'm being able to caress my pillow for a good part of the night..

Sunday night Blues

 1 I'm happy to announce that I made it to bed and got up this morning and bit transfers without issue for the first time in a couple days I feel so comfortable that I sort of frightened myself that this is too good to be true. We'll see tonight and tomorrow how it goes if I can replicate a safe and non-threatening transfer environment again. I didn't sleep well that's up very early this morning which was good because it got me up and ready to go to the restaurant for breakfast which I did met with Mark and the kids for a nice visit and good Sunday breakfast. The day was colder than I would have liked to look nice at different points of the time spent a lot of time in the apartment however after I got home from the restaurant just watching the flat screen trying to get through the Daredevil series. It's really quite a violent show and I'll be glad I'm done watching it. I'm not feeling very well tonight I don't know what's going on I've got the sweats really bad I think I have something to do with my upcoming bowel movement tomorrow. However I think it may come before tomorrow which I really don't want it to happen that way but who can foil Mother Nature? I should have written this earlier in the day I don't think I can finish my 500 words now I'm just somewhat focused on trying not to poop my pants until tomorrow morning. Hopefully I'll succeed either way I'll be okay I'll just call my person and she'll have to clean me up get me ready for the day. Don't know what the issue could be nothing weird that I've eaten I don't think and then I possibly think I might have something to do with the fact that my poop's been somewhat light the last couple days and this is the big one it's just built up and built up and I'm wondering if this is going to be a huge one tonight or tomorrow or whenever this one tends to go off unless I could hold it until tomorrow morning hopefully that's all that's wrong with me right now. Stay tuned

Next step?

 I don't know what's happening to me but I'm getting more and more concerned each day that I struggle getting into and out of my bed. And if I struggle I mean not being able to make a clean transfer like I was doing last week. Last week though I had my regular chair it wasn't malfunctioning to the point where I couldn't use it but I was able to get into and out of bed without issue now however I'm just getting a little spooked this morning I almost didn't make it to my chair it took me almost a half an hour to finagle away to get my body into my chair after I failed on my transfer and was nearly sliding out of the bed between my chair and the bed I really had to be creative with my chair to finally get me to a point or I could finish a transfer and not fall I'll be stuck in the middle of the transfer between my chair in my bed. I don't know if you remember about earlier this week I had somehow managed to disengage the clutch on the motor on my left side and was stuck in my chair until I could get my son over here to help me and that was the middle of the night that's like 2:00 a.m. when he left. This morning I was actually trying to figure out how to get to my cell phone so I could make your call to someone to see if they could come and help but luckily I put all my thoughts together in my focus and was able to make the transfer eventually with my power chair my power bed working in unison to give me the best option to finish the transfer and it was kind of spooky I thought sure I was going to have to wait a long time before somebody knew figured I was not around as usual. Saturday morning I'm on my own. As I am on Sunday mornings and Tuesdays and Thursdays. Sundays aren't so bad because I usually meet my son for breakfast early and if I don't show up he's going to come over and look for me but the other three days that's a bit of a challenge. I think I just need to become more and more comfortable making these transfers and not be intimidated by what might happen and stay online of what will happen which will be I'm going to make a regular safe transfer and not I'll be able to contact somebody who will that's if I can get to a cell phone or a tablet or whatever. I know I feel I'm really focused on this right now but seriously I've never had this many close calls. The other scary option is that what would I do? If I were to get on Medicaid- - if that were even possible who knows right now with this current political cancer it seems to be going on– I would have to spend down all of my money as well as my bank accounts and cash in reserve or whatever to get the service that I would need. I would hate to have to deal with the concept of having a person here to help me everyday every way. But from what I hear from my caregivers a lot of them do that I mean they spend six to eight hours with the same person all day long meeting there every needs. That's really strange. Still I just need someone to get me up if I fall or get stuck. I actually talk to somebody who lives here at the building would be willing to have me call her if I were to get to a situation like that she might be able to help but maybe even find somebody who could help. I just don't know all I know is something's got to change or maybe if I could just hold on tell my regular chair gets back, working I might be able to go back to the old ways. But something in the back of my head is niggling me too face the music that I need to start thinking about the next step…..

Friday night sj's

My kitchen is a disaster! I cooked tonight. So I'm not surprised that my cooking area looks like a bomb has exploded. I figured it was coming I had been to the market a couple times during the week and picked up a few things that I would need to pull off the dinner for tonight. Sloppy joes one of my favorites. I've written about this in the past how sloppy joes was one of the first meals after fried eggs and spam that I learned to cook. Sloppy joes had like real ingredients one had to put together to make the concoction come out right and be able to spread Tastefully onto hamburger buns. I only wish now that I could cook sloppy joes the way that they tasted when I was 9 or 10 or whenever I learned to do this. I don't know if it was the green pepper or the onions or whatever or perhaps it was the brown sugar. Yes that's what I said brown sugar I still remember utilizing two or three tablespoons of brown sugar in the recipe that I use when I first started cooking later on when I would cook sloppy joe I really did not have access to brown sugar and in many cases brown sugar that was not as hard as a rock, lost to the back end or the back wall of the cupboard of the pantry. So maybe if that one ingredient was included perhaps I would have a dish tasting similar to the ones I remember from Days of old. But tonight I chopped up onions and the problem with that is that the onions that I had - - and I always do this - - was probably Way Beyond its usable date if there was one on these onions Golden onions or whatever. They were getting soft in the middle that's for sure which means I'd let another onion go bad which I hate to do but I skinned enough usable onion out of that I think to season the meat. The green pepper I got last week and when it was beautiful and round and curvaceous that was last week now it's beginning to implode on itself as the moisture seeps out one day at a time. It's great that I was able to carve up the green Beast at least for a few seasoning pieces. Perhaps, I'll be motivated this weekend maybe to chop up some more green pepper for breakfast eggs I love green pepper in my eggs in the morning. So now I'm waiting for the sloppy joe mix this cool down to the point that I can make further sloppy joes and figure out a way to put them in the refrigerator to eat during this weekend or parts of next week if they last that long. It's only a pound of hamburger so it's not going to be that much and I certainly like to have them available at a moment's notice. I usually try to find a plastic container big enough to hold three or four burgers and then just keep it in the refrigerator at close hand that I can dip into it sometimes before I leave the house in the morning or when I come back from a day out on the tracks or the bus system. Either way I'll enjoy the sloppy joes to the max

Nice to have a gold check

I sent my major power chair off to the Fix-It shop a few hours ago. I hope they can at least fix the foot box and get it back to me by tomorrow night that would be splendid. I don't hold out much hope but that's all I've got is Hope. However, if the shop is not able to fix the chair enough for me to get by until they end up doing a major repair- hope hope - I've been using and will use my backup chair which I don't really have a lot of faith in but that's changing a little bit by a little bit I'm happy to report. Yesterday I had my my home health person place me in the backup chair and I used it all day yesterday and actually last night I had some problems with my living situation and about 12:30 I ended up shutting off a major function of this powered chair and I spent the next 2 hours trying to figure out a way to get myself known to somebody that I was in problems and desperate need of assistance. Fortunately I was able to finally get some of the tension and my son came over and save me from having to spend the night sitting in my chair or whenever I could get some assistance. This is a whole different issue that I have to work on sooner or later because I'm finding that I'm losing the ability to do more and more things independently that I used to have no issue with at all. I blamed a lot of it on my other chair the ones in the shop but I think the reality is it's probably me. I'm getting old I can no longer Wrangle myself the way that I used to I hopefully this is just me babbling. The reason I brought this up was because I was afraid that I would not be able to charge my chair fully by this afternoon when I would meet my friends, my writing friends for lunch at a restaurant a number of blocks from my apartment. I wasn't sure if my batteries would hold a charge long enough for me to do the running around that I would need to do to get to the restaurant and back. Finally when my son was done I did plug my chair in and slip for the rest of the night and although that the battery indicator on the charger usually shuts off when it's charged but it was still blinking quickly as it does has it comes into its completion phase it blinks quickly then it goes to a solid green. It was not that way at all and I was afraid that the battery had charged had not charged. When I finally got into my chair it read that it was 100% charged so I'm not sure what the blinking near blinking light means but I was able to use the chair to get to the bus and to get me to the restaurant have my meal and then drive my chair back to the bus stop and back home. The chair totally worked and if I have to use it for an extended. Time I believe now I would be able to even I think the chair is kind of squirrely and I think the batteries are kind of weak but for now I did all the running around I needed to do today and I'm still at 91% charge in the batteries. I don't know how long that would last me and I am going to charge my chair tonight but I'm feeling quite comfortable with the use of my power chair backup chair and that's like having a gold check..

Fortunate one

I was fortunate in that I was able to do the transfer from the bed to the power chair the broken it would not raise itself up, as I usually do, to act as a little book at the catch my feet and as I transfer from the bed to the chair. I had to make sure that I had the power tilted back a little more radical than usual so that when I did make the transfer my butt would sit into the Tilted chair and be less likely to fall out. I did have some issue with my legs making the transfer comfortably Comfort okay but they're a little spastic and the one foot jumped out of the box and I had to spend time coaxing it back onto the the foot box and they'll tell to myself back and then just sort of getting around the apartment until Melissa got here for my showers. I was able to make the coffee and perform my shave routine with very little problem except it was very awkward and very uncomfortable mainly trying to stay in the chair as I got these things done. As much as I dislike the backup chair I now figured it was time that I use the chair for what I got it for as a backup. We traded out the chair while I was in the shower and Melissa sent me back into the backup chair when we were done. Always feel strange to sit in this chair because it sets me straight up and down it's not worn out or worn to my body the way the other chair is. I also am somewhat intimidated by this chair because I don't trust its battery usage or the battery indicator. I don't know when it says I've got a hundred percent if that's 100% in real time or a bad battery time or whatever but all I know is that it seems to go down fast the charge. I didn't charge last night though I should have so whatever charge I started out with this morning after my shower was what was left on this chair after the last time it was used oh four or five months ago. Getting back in the chair driving around brings back all the problems that I've felt with it mainly the utilization batteries that I think might be past their Prime at the very least. They seem to go down very quickly. So I really am not confident of going somewhere and getting back without some kind of assistance. Case in point, tomorrow I supposedly have a meeting with the Riders group we're going to a different restaurant one further up or down Redwood Road. I just hope I have enough juice when I take off to get me across the street to catch the bus going south and getting off at the bus stop around 5400 South or 5600 South and then going to the penny Cafe and Back Again. I might even take a chargers with me to see about charging while we eat lunch. Even if we spent 2 hours yapping and enjoying each other's company that's hardly enough to charge the battery to a significant level. And who knows maybe that's all I'll need..

Semantics

It's all semantics plain and simple. It's Tuesday and that means it's time for me to get up get dressed jump the bus and go downtown first to the public library and enjoy it's new little coffee shop then Wander over to assist, Incorporated and do my duty as far as signing off documents to show they've been reviewed by their citizen review board which I am part of and have been part of for decades now. I think over the years I've done this blog I've touched on my work with assist off and on and maybe even talked a little bit how I first became involved with them. If so please bear with me. Anyway when I came on board at the Independent Living Center that was the housing guy and that's all aspects of housing as far as trying to develop more housing which would be wheelchair accessible or accessible as well as assisting individuals to make their own homes more accessible particularly for those folks who have incurred a disability in the relatively short time I eat accident victim becoming paralyzed or a stroke or any number of disabling conditions that would force a home that was not necessarily a wheelchair accessible or disability accessible to having to become so. So it made sense that I made contact with agencies and programs that provided those kind of services, which I did and finagled myself inside that system to make Positive Choices for that agency or program the better service people with disabilities. Assist was one of the first I got on this citizen board of and have been on there ever since. There were short periods of time maybe up to a year in some senses where I was not active on the board like what I was going through the hospital crap that I went through a couple years ago. But now I've come back to the board and at least I'm participating on a weekly basis or whenever they have documents which need to be signed by a citizen board member. What's interesting is to see the change in the agency. When I first came on board I can't remember the guy's name now but he was quite a good fill but he is he was an architect, and later Rodger was the architect that took over after him and when Roger retired the new guy came on board. The first individuals I worked with under and then Roger we're laid back individuals and the program is pretty low-key. They referred to themselves as Community design professionals. So, I really wasn't sure what they did on some levels but I do know that they were the ones who would consider developing plans and documents to be used when remodeling a home for access I never thought more of it than that. It was interesting today when I was there waiting for my meeting to start listening to some of the folks there just talked to one another and he was on the phone talking to somebody and for the first time I heard somebody identify this agency as a group of Architects. In the first time that all made sense I've always referred to these guys as fairly self-absorbed and somewhat elitist. I was always kind of joking but they did feel that way but today it all came together and made sense. They do see themselves as Architects and they they are there's three Architects on staff besides other folks that's more than I ever saw before. I guess it doesn't really matter what they call themselves whether it's Community designers or architects I guess it's just a matter of semantics

Monday mumbles

 The most productive thing I did all day was to spend an hour on my arm bike doing the first of my 200 minutes. If this week progresses as it should I will have at least two more days maybe three to get to the 200 minute mark. Today's effort was pretty challenging I did sleep well last night I'm not sleeping very well the last couple of days. I seem to be waking up way early today I woke up around 3:00 a.m. and finally got on and off sleep until 6 a.m. when I usually get up for the day. I have felt okay today but I didn't really do anything to speak of watch too much television. The day looked pretty good from the standpoint of weather but there were some high clouds blocking some of the sunshine and it didn't really get as warm as they said they were going to be. I doubt that would have made much difference whether I'd gotten out or not but maybe. I didn't go out one time and sat in the Sun or what was there and it just didn't feel comfortable maybe I want too much. Perhaps I was thrown off by the fact that my home health person came almost an hour early and I was barely even ready for her in fact she had to wait around until I finished shaving, she was that early.

Before Melissa got here to do my morning ritual it had been a little busy around the apartment I washed up some dishes and pans in case we were going to do any cooking any cookie needed to be done for breakfast. I believe I've outlined before the deal that we have instead of leaving a tip or giving Melissa a tip I just make sure she has coffee hot coffee in the morning when she gets here as well as food that she could ingest while in my service. I figure it's small potatoes. The cleanup wasn't professional that's for sure and the floor once again is a mess of potato chips, bread crumbs and other items that have been living on top of the surface of the food area between the refrigerator and the range. Still a lot of work needs to be done I'm sort of holding off for Gloria when she can come over again she does such a great job and she's so quick. Aside from that however it's been a pretty quiet day here in the apartment. It's still pretty early in the evening for me to go to bed and I'm afraid that if I did I would actually wake up even earlier than I did today. I find if I stay up till 12:00 a.m. or whatever I have a better chance of sleeping all the way into 6:00 a.m. or close. But try to stay awake that long just wears me outI could try reading or even watching something on one of the flat screens that surround my bed but that seems like it's cheating. However, I'm stuck in the middle of watching all the Daredevil episodes that I didn't even know were there. It just doesn't seem right

Sunday's Rambler

Finally a day to write home about! I won't say it was a perfect day it was a little chilly off and on when a breeze decided to come through but overall the sun was bright there were no clouds and if one just stayed in the Sun one could do that for an extended period of time and not be uncomfortable. I was able to get one hour maybe two in the sun today and that's a start from what I heard on tonight's news is that the days will begin to heat up and radically so probably great days too put the back of my power chair down in the Sun and absorbed the Heat by the the end of the week. I have no fan of global warming but I truly do look forward to wearing much less clothing and enjoying the Heat as long as I can. Severe Heat's coming I understand that but for now I plan to stay as much sun as I can till I can't stand it anymore. I didn't go anywhere else except of course, this morning's breakfast with Marc Anthony and the kids. I really do enjoy being out in the public with my family as well as spending time with my granddaughter that is one of the best things in my life. I only wish I had easy access to my other granddaughters that would be totally fun as well and my daughter as well that would be cool too. But as it is I will do what I can when I can. My butt hurt yesterday as I went to bed it's the reason I didn't go downtown to the anti-trump rally but today no pain at all in my tush and I totally appreciate that I just wonder why I couldn't have had it yesterday when I could have done something wonderful. A lot of people went however and I'm a bit jealous. I hope that if there is another rally that I will be physically up for the event. I don't know if these rallies will have any impact or do any good but certainly would make me feel somewhat better and feel that I am trying to do something, in my own way, the ward off this ringer of Doom.

As I said tomorrow is supposed to be the beginning of a great week. I know I will probably have a meeting in Salt Lake with assist ink Tuesday and I think I have lunch with Jerry and Lori on Thursday. I think it's Thursday I'm not totally sure. Either this Thursday or next Lori's put it the lunch together as she always does such a great job. I think I may have to get another bed relatively soon. I don't know if I had the courage if the current president goes through with what he's talked about is sending out relief checks which would be over $1,000 I don't know if I could spend it on another Power bed. The reason I suggest this is because something's wrong the bed's not going up as high as it used to and I use that to transfer into the chair every morning when I get up. I don't know why it would stop Rising this high as it used to it could have something to do with the power frame that we put on there are turning it around like we did. I certainly don't want to order another piece and have that go wrong if indeed there's something else working to make the bed less usable. The other option would be to buy the next bed if I had the financial means to do so- - I do actually even if we didn't get the stipend- - I just have a trouble spending money- - doesn't everybody?

Green grapes

I love green grapes, green seedless grapes, grapes that are firm and texture. Fortunately right now the market across the street from my apartment has been loading up on grapes that are firm more so than usual. I'm finding myself overloading with green grapes now. Grapes were not something we got a lot of growing up it was almost like a special occasion when Mom would bring grapes home from the market many times it was for my grandparents were staying with us during the summer when they would come up from Arizona. They were kind of Health nuts and had to have fresh fruit all the time maybe that was when and why we had green grapes. Now, I can afford to buy them anytime they have them at the market. Only lately have they had the firm crunchy green grapes that I've been loading up on. What if my people also showed me a trick that I didn't believe at first then tried it and it does work that is putting grapes in the freezer. I had a hard time fathered me this that they would not blow up or something in their freezer. So I had a bunch of leftover grapes at the end of one bag and I thought why not give it a try and I did and they're great. Right now it's hard to really appreciate them at being the end of winter beginning of Spring cold things aren't exactly what I'm looking for right now but I can certainly see advantageous clusters of green grapes to be enjoyed in the hot weather. I don't know if I'd really like and thought out again after they're frozen but the crunch while they're frozen would be great would be good I appreciate that.

I really like to go to the fresh vegetables and fruit section of the market. Especially when I'm questing the grapes I do that thing where I pick off grapes from the bags of grapes to test them to see if they're what I want. I was surprised the other day when I thought I was going to get chatted by the person who works in that section of the market but he encouraged me to make sure I found the grapes that I liked. Since then I've gone Whole Hog. I think I would like to try trying to find some solid crunchy red or purple grapes but I just don't like their flavor as much as the green grapes. I think the grapes that I like are crunchy possibly cuz they're just ripening up they're not as sweet as they could be but maybe that's the price one has to pay for a nice green grapes that are firm and crunchy..

Near Miss

 I almost died last week! I know that's a little melodramatic I don't know if I would have died or if I would just been maimed at more crippled than I already am. But it was and there's something experience no doubt about it. It all goes back to my power chair I like to blame everything negative one my power chair it's a poor thing to take as much abuse as I lay on it but it's true. Two things in particular on the hand control that drives my chair there's something wrong with the joystick and somehow it bumps and turns the chair off many times while I'm moving and also the device that hooks the drive to the chair has been bent up so severely that it puts my hand right in contact with on and off button my fingers curled as they are around the joystick could hit one of the off buttons and stop the forward motion of the chair. I don't know which one of these items happened the other day but I was at intersection getting ready to go to my meeting in Salt Lake so the day must have been Tuesday. I had to cross the tracks track and the train was stationary and I figured I had more than enough time to get across but as I was crossing the tracks the unevenness of the track rails caused my hand to jump up and down and suddenly my indicator indicated that the chair was stopping was turning itself off. When this happens it takes the chair about 30 seconds to recycle itself that 30 seconds feels like 30 hours no question about it. And of course I stopped with one of my front wheels straddling the rails of the tracks and the train was moving now towards me and I was trying to get the chair to cycle through as fast as it would so I can back my chair off of the tracks. It was one of those events for everything was going in slow slow motion but I remember most is that there are people at the intersection and one of them clearly saw me and I must have had thrown my face because all the sudden he throws the door open and starts coming toward me as fast as he could in at the same time my chair cycle through a nice able to dump the chair into gear and back my ass up off the rails and back into a safety zone. The train passed by quickly I took a breather, a big breath of relief. I know this probably seems tame to a lot of people but for me it was just another one of those points where one moment you would be there in the next moment you would be gone. As I get older and older for one reason or another I see that or those points more and more often in my life. The Reapers out there and it's ready to swing his scythe 

Walk away Renee

 The weather is not that good today and so I didn't have to and I didn't go outside at all today actually choosing to stay in and work on these silly letters. I printed out the letters today in the new ink worked fabulous! Today was coffee social and so we meet as a group a social group down in the large room, I've talked about this group over time. That's the closest thing to socialization I've done today. A lot of the characters that used to attend this function no longer do for one reason or another. It's hard to Corner these folks and find out what really happened and so I greeted folks early as they came in and then went over to the kitchen area and got my cup of coffee and then relocated to the table. I don't know what's happening but less and less people are showing up for the coffee social. In fact the coffee and various other edible treats have been been issued it but the population continues to decrease. I wouldn't be surprised if we called the whole thing off in another 3 months or so. This event is semi co-hosted by a conglomerate in the area that has a number of long-term care facilities and.  There is one person named Renee, acts like she's the coordinator from one of the long-term care facilities and she brings in all the folks a lot of folks to this group. We get to talking sometimes and she's been fascinated with my concept of learning with my late stays after group to assist cleanup. Renee is a great listener and once you start talking she can't really sit there and listen so avidly. The group of disbanded and Renee and I kept talking she started asking me questions about myself and that's always a mistake because then I start rattling on and rattling on about everything I know about myself which is a lot. Really is an inflator I mean I feel like I do or have done a lot of stuff in the Idaho Boise region and I have a lot of friends there. I told her everything didn't hide behind anything. When I tell the story it seems like I've done a lot which I may have it's just hard to do this on a turned over dishpan and the rest of my outfit.

Wednesday's busy

 Today was wash day and that kind of acts as a stopper for me to be able to do anything else especially if I plan to do a workout at some point in time. I do 1 hour workouts Monday Wednesday and Tuesday which gives me 180 minutes meaning that the next day I only have to do 20 minutes to get to my 200 minutes of work out a week. My goal for the day had been to work on my letter since I got the ink replaced yesterday. But that just wasn't going to happen it seemed. Of course I stayed myself free to be alert to when the clothes need to have further coins dropped in for the last dry. It's after this last run through that I'm able to pull the clothes and take them back to the apartment. I came back had got onto my as mentioned and during my ride the phone rang and it was Diane but I couldn't visit with her cuz that's all strapped up in my arm bike. When I finished I ended up calling her back we visited for another 45 minutes after which it was basically time for dinner or close to it. So I went back into the bedroom where I stashed the dry clothes turn the basket upside down on my bed and begin folding shorts and then hanging up shirts. When I finish that call it was time for dinner or whatever close proximity I decided to do. Yesterday I built a beef stew out of one of the bags of beef stew that I had here. I wanted to make the do a little more Hefty so I microwaved a potato 3/4 of the way done and I still have some carrots carrot knobs or carrot babies and when I got the potatoes done I took half of it cut it into cubes threw it in the stew on the stove and then added a handful of the cut carrots baby carrots into the mix added a few more slices and that was my dinner for the night it was pretty good actually all things considered. I chased the stew down with bread that I turned into toasts hamburger or hot dog buns that split open and toasted then  microwave items. At first walking around 4:00 a.m. and I seem to have tossed and turned until it was time to get up at 6:00. There's something going on with my chair still and it either the bed doesn't go up as high as it used to be or the chair doesn't go down as far there as it used to because the seat is still pretty close to the level of the mattress. It's a little more difficult than usual to fall into my chair usually it's no problem I'm not high enough and I sort of cascade straight down but now I sort of just get over but over a little bit then work my way into the wheelchair. Something's different I'm not sure what I need to work this out right now I can still make the transfer and that's what's important to me. I also got called by my old buddy Greg but more on that later..

Waking to April

 I do not know what's happening to me but I have not slept well for the last 2 or 3 nights. Sometimes weird dreams of the times just waking up in the middle of the night and not really knowing what else to do but try to go back to sleep. This morning I woke up around 3:00 a.m. and finally got back to sleep again only to wake up around 4:30 a.m. and I don't think I went back to sleep after that and I thought I was going to be dragging all day but no I have not been actually. I must acknowledge that it did take me awhile to get myself dressed this morning luckily there was no meeting that had to go to this Tuesday so I just hung out at home. The weather was cold and wet with snow falling actually snow is being driven by North winds. I really wanted to stay in the apartment today but I also really wanted to get some positive work done on the kid letters. But then I found that I'm out of ink I ended up doing my bike ride/workout around 10:00 a.m. it was snowing today off and on for a good part of the day not a lot of snow just the last remnants of winter. But, I needed to seriously work on my letters but then I found out that the ink was gone and the printer and I had to get new ink so I figured if I put it on my winter coat I could get to the Walmart get my stuff and get back and work on my letters. I did that caught the bus up to the store got my stuff came back and then coming back something happened another snap I heard about my chair and then my I started listing over to the right more than usual and I thought I was going to fall over I couldn't figure out what happened. When I got home I could see myself in the mirror and I look pretty bad so I ended up calling my brother to see if he could come over and see maybe get the chair operational until I can figure out what to do next. He was at a family Sports function- - they do a lot of that in his family. But he would come over afterwards and he did and it was great having him in the apartment working with him and talking to him I always love having my older brother around. And as always he found out what was wrong with my chair and did a pretty good job of patching it up. It should be functional for as long as I need to but I need to schedule up an appointment to send this in to see if they can work on two to make sure it's done right. It's the first day of April tomorrow's Trump doing his April 2nd thing which could be somewhat frightening. I was kind of amazed to see how upset my older brother was with everything Trump is doing I thought it was just me but he's hating it as well we had some good discussion but then he was on his way and I needed to get back to what I was doing. I've got new grapes, ice cream cones, I made an interesting stew out of a package of Stew that I got from the food box people and then added a can of beef it turned out fairly good little heavy little protein but it made a nice dinner I have stew left over I don't know what to do with now maybe tomorrow. I hope I'll be able to sleep tonight I don't know what's going on with me and quite frankly it worries me to some degree but I'll get by I generally do happy April