It smells like... dinner

 My apartment spills great tonight, I cooked. I love the smell of cooked food in a person's living abode. I don't get to have this Aroma as much as I would like in my little apartment. I have a lot of frozen food that I like to live off of particularly at burritos and such often started chicken fingers and other Frozen things that I've never really tried before but now I'm looking into them. I like them and they certainly fit the bill for dinner and stuff but just not the same as blowing up your kitchen preparing a meal. I still had the preparations for corned beef hash that I made the other day. I still had half a can of corned beef hash and I had a bag of Frozen shredded potatoes that I got I don't know how long ago but they've been in the freezer and there's a pretty big bag actually and they were frozen hard. I dug them out to the other day when I made the corned beef casserole or hash and I still have 3/4 of the bag left so I decided I would file them out use up the rest of the corned beef chop up another onion and use the rest of the green pepper and Garlic's which I did. Actually I did not make as big a mess as I did on Sunday which I guess is good. I even Friday night to put on top of tonight's dinner. It's basic but it's good real meat potatoes type stuff. I should have had something green somewhere along the line but at that point I just wanted to get done with the meal and get on my evening. I'm trying to focus now on getting things done so I can get to bed early tonight. Tomorrow I have to go over to the medical high-rise and see my physician. It's nothing weird or anything it's just a checkup which I think is pretty lightweight. Just basically going there and waiting then when the guys come in and ask how I'm doing and tell him I'm fine I'm doing okay and then they turn me loose. I don't know why but I made the appointment pretty early in the morning actually it's at 9:50 but they want you to be there at 9:35 so that they could do everything that they want to do to you before you actually see the doc I'm going to be waiting a long time anyway cuz I always do even when I'm in there early. Of course everything rides on the fact whether I get my bus rides on time and such. I think I'll be okay even if I'm late they'll work me in one way or the other. They may not be happy about a late appointment but it's not like I'm going to have anything done or anything it's just a look see- - at least that's what I keep telling myself and that's what I really want to believe.

When you got to go you got to go

 I love it when I can get two significant things done in one day. Makes me feel like I'm somewhat relevant maybe even quasi-important. It's Tuesday of course that means I generally have a meeting at the assist office. It's a pretty insignificant little meeting and used to have three people there but that's evaporated it's just basically me these days. I go there and sign documents of people who need assistance from the the office the assist office to help them repair their homes or other situations to deal with emergency housing. I've been doing it for decades I think I'm a fixture. Anyway, this meeting is always at 11:00 a.m. which means I have to Scamper around the apartment relatively focused to get dressed and get ready to catch the buses I need to get to and the train to get me down town for this meeting no problem today. In fact, I was kind of surprised because I thought I had dialed too much but I still had 20 minutes or maybe 30 minutes to kill before the meeting and so I ended up zooming through the library checking out the new books. I always check out the new fiction every week when I attend my meeting. I'm just amazed at how much new fiction there is out there on a weekly basis. I picked up a new book actually it was an old battered dead book it was in the throwaway section in front of the little bookstore they have at the library. This was a tray of books they were just giving away because I don't think anybody else wanted them. They were mostly paperbacks the one I picked was or is a volume a fiction about attorneys. What strange right now is that I'm going through this whole phase of reading nothing but fiction about attorneys. I didn't even realize that the attorney Mantra or the attorney character was such a big part of fiction. In fact right now in the library upstairs where I live there's a number of hardbacks that are attorney fiction. I think this is some for some reason but I'm supposed to be reading right now cuz I've been just every time I turn around it's a book about attorney fiction so I got this one today and so I'll put that on hold until I finish the current book I've been working on for a couple weeks. I'm getting close.

Following my meeting at assist I ended up taking the bus up to Redwood Road and then taking the bus down to 21 South where the D's restaurant was we met today. It's the writers group we still are meeting we're still hanging around with each other I can't believe it. I don't know if it's Lori who's the driving force on this but she's the one who I think puts together these meetings but Jerry and I keep coming. Jerry brought books again today one for Lori one for me and a sundress tales about experiences he's had in the writing profession. He pays for lunch so we listen. Today we all ordered off the senior menu and felt comfortable doing so. We met for at least 2 hours but finally broke up and went our separate ways. It's not like we vowed to meet again but we know we will. One of us is going to die relatively soon I bet. I hate that idea I don't see myself being the person so at least he's a Jerry or Lori I don't know who I would mourn the most. I'd like to think it won't happen but that's just wishful thinking reality says when you got to go you got to go..

       

Claire and me

It was the weirdest thing this morning I was woken up by the alarm in my cell phone which I never ever really use. I've been pondering this event all day in the back of my mind. The only thing I can think of was that the other day yesterday really I dropped my phone and I picked it up and was fiddling around trying to make sure it's okay and stuff and I may have touched the wrong keys at the wrong times I don't know but somehow I set the alarm to go off exactly at 6:00 a.m. and it did. I was shocked at first I really don't like being woken up by loud noises and I very seldom ever have been woken up by us an alarm in this case can't remember if it was turning on music of some sort or maybe it was NPR. I'm not sure which it was so strange because I had woken up myself earlier in the morning just to go back to sleep. I really felt if I'd want to I could get back to sleep very easily I don't know if I would have or not just because it's a shower day and so I know that sooner or later my home care attendant would be here to help me do my morning routine and shower. So essentially I got up and got the basics done before Melissa got here. And that is also a good thing. It's just weird. I may use it again tonight because tomorrow morning I have to be up for sure get ready and go in to get the bus if you do my thing over at access, Incorporated. I did get a hold of my manager boss whatever at the agency who should be that they are indeed would be a. At 11:00 a.m  

Today was a special day for me anyway. I was able to have lunch with my former employer/friend. Maybe the most accurate term might be manager. It started out a little rocky because I went to the wrong place for where we thought we would have lunch or I thought we were going to have lunch. Luckily the place she went was just a block away from where I was at and she got in her car and came back. We had a great discussion we laughed a lot they enjoyed our meals people think the same thing fish. We're both really lucky that we are as healthy as we are she has lost a great deal of weight and I'm just old and just trying to get by one day at a time without hurting myself Beyond repair. Her partner / wife is currently in the hospital in rehab so my boss is at home trying to clean up the place for her return and was able to break off time and come and visit with me at lunch. We vowed to stay in closer contact this next year we'll see what happens.

 

Sunny Sunday

I still feel a little guilty about canceling the breakfast, this morning. But I totally enjoyed having a free Sunday morning. I did one of the things that I used to do many Sunday mornings and that was to cook. I made myself a breakfast. I've been thinking of building this breakfast for some weeks now I've had a can of corned beef for the very purpose. And I think yesterday I bought a green pepper or it may have been the day before but anyway I had all the ingredients that I usually use when I make corned beef hash. I've had a sack of hash browns sitting in the freezer for over a year I was surprised to find how they had grown together the one large Mass of Frozen shredded potato. It was a chore to get enough potatoes off that to make breakfast but I did it but I also cheated and used some of the frozen tater tots I had in my freezer as well. So the morning is filled with chopping, slashy hashing and mincing up garlics, onions anything else I could get my hands on to put into this dish one of my favorites the only thing I did not put in that I used to usually add was eggs to the end product and cheese. I still thought that the dish was very tasty after I finished it. Of course, I destroyed my kitchen that's always the Peril of cooking at home. This should be great if I was rich enough to have a maid to clean up whenever I cooked. I also did not make toast. I figured that toast at this juncture would be just Overkill. I did have the rest of my green grapes from our fruit addition as well as I opened a bottle of V8 for my vegetable juice morning drink. What must remember this tasks take a couple of hours at least. Either the night before prepping up the meals are the food for cooking or doing the the cook these vegetables need to be processed. I had lots of ketchup and I even included an egg to my end product. It was a Friday over easy. I cannot believe how much stuff I dropped on the floor of course A lot of it was utensils I used to make the meal Plus Forks. Plastic forks easy to dispose of in the time comes. I had a small bowl full for breakfast with an egg on top. I could have gone in for the toast but I was happy the way that it was.

The weather was beautiful today finally a perfect day. I don't think it got more than 72 or 75°, but that's way more than I could have hoped for. There's actually hot enough that I saw it out shade when I was outside reading on the porch today. I read until one of the folks who lives here a relatively new guy but a master complainer ended up cornering me on the patio. He just went on and on and on about how bad the world was to him. He just wears me out I tried to avoid him as much as I can after listening to him for 5 minutes I usually try to figure out a way to escape the situation. However today he cornered me and thought being a total jerk all the way around I'll listen to him for at least 20 minutes before I couldn't stand it anymore I left him to find some other prey to waste his Day on…

 

Sounds of Saturday

Another morning waking up fairly early. I'm getting kind of used to this anyway I hung around the bed until around 6:00 then got up. I really didn't have a problem but it was a bit of a challenge I just need to be careful all the time these days. I spent a lot of time right after getting up doing just the regular things shaving getting dressed and such and I finally did get dressed grab the fast breakfast of peanut butter toast and yogurt then cross the street to the coffee shop. It was quite an interesting morning actually I sat for some time by myself and then this one guy named Odo showed up and ask to sit beside me and I said okay sure no problem. Then he went off on the tangent about who he was and how much you like to visit with people even people he didn't know and he was glad he sat down with me and such and went on and on we talked for an hour at least before the person he was waiting for showed up. They were going to play chess. This is the first time for a long time I had somebody to really visit with and look like I was really busy with somebody- - I know that sounds weird but that's just the way it came out. That was good because that was my cue to leave and leave I did. The day was chilling not too bad I wore a jacket around my shoulders or a hood around my shoulders to cross the street to go to the coffee shop. Little later I ended up going to the market getting a few things I felt I needed to get through the weekend with. I got some fried chicken already cooked from the deli along with some mashed potatoes and gravy. I also got a slab of ham another jar bottle of V8. Few other asunderous things as well jalapeno slices just so I'm set for the next batch of concoction.

After I got back home I fell into my regular practice of watching a couple of episodes of the current series I'm involved with and the movie and that was about it for this Saturday. Wish I'd done more cleaning up around the house/ apartment. I did take garbage out of the bathroom and the kitchen so I have cleaned receptacles start dumping stuff in. I thought about making something like meatloaf or whatever but I'd never got around to that and figured I had enough stuff Frozen that I can get by tomorrow Sunday without having to do any cooking. I do also have the chicken I have another leg left and a breast actually two breasts which is a lot of chicken cuz I want to use part of one of the breasts chop up for Frank. Had I been in the ball today I would have had rice made and throw it together but now it's just going to have to wait till Monday. Actually I could have one of the fried breasts for lunch or dinner or whatever. Since Marcus still in Budapest or wherever he's at I really didn't feel like doing breakfast tomorrow with just the kids I know that sounds bad but I'm feeling a little risky as far as pooping goes so I just wanted to lay low if I have to poop I'll be here at the apartment. I just hope I'll be all right

 

Thoughts on food

 Today looks beautiful actually no clouds just beautiful blue sky with lots of sunshine. I rolled from the back door up to the front office where the laundry is at just to see how cold it was it was cold enough to what we stay the rest of the day inside enjoy the beauty of the day from little apartment. Experience wise the day was rather dull but I did enjoy the day in the apartment. I didn't make anything I thought about doing a cake but I'm not ready yet for that and I also thought about putting together a meatloaf but I don't have a green pepper. I'm sure there's been many a meatloaf belt without a green pepper in fact I've done that in it comes up pretty decent. The onions save it a lot if you ask me but I would still like to have a green pepper so I will put it off, that is the construction of a meatloaf until I can give my hands on a green pepper which might mean a roll to the store tomorrow. They might be cold but if I dress up warm maybe wrapping a red blanket or something I should be okay. I still have a couple of jalapeno peppers pickled peppers left over from the concoction but I don't think that's what I want as far as deep green pepper flavor that happens with the meatloaf when it's done right. If I could pull off a fairly decent meatloaf tomorrow that would mean I would have meals for Sunday. I do have meals actually Frozen in the the Skies of meat burritos or pot pies Etc. I also have a can of meat corned beef that I can make a nice Frank with. I've been talking about doing this for some time I'm just somewhat intimidated I think by trying to put together another corned beef dish. I shouldn't because I've done it so many times in the past and it really is the kind of meal that makes great leftovers. I've also been toying with the idea of taking the number of those beef stew cans I'd gotten from the Mormon food boxes and dumping them into One Bowl so it's like a major dish of stew and then whenever I needed to meal I could just dip it measuring cup or whatever into the stew and I would always have a meal ready to go. I know it's weird but so many times I would have a meal of something from the pantry but means I'd have to fetch the can open it up heat it up and then do the clean up afterwards. If I do this plan open up four or five cans of stew and then to one container that way I can just have it whenever I want. This would allow me to move a lot of cans through my storage as well as having more full meals that's sort of been my goal. I still have to work on vegetables and fruit. I do however try to keep fruit like grapes close by and I do have cans of fruit which I would enjoy better if it wasn't such a task getting them out.

Winters relapse

  The cold front moved through today just as they said it was 2 hours of snow wind and clouds and dropping temperatures. The snow is long gone but the temperatures are still here and we are once again in the midst of winter but that's okay I don't think it's going to last very long at all. Still, I'll probably be inside for most of the time. I don't Vision me going out or bundling up and going out for any particular reason. Well Tuesday I'm sure we'll have a meeting downtown Salt Lake and I'll breathe the elements for that but aside from that probably stay close to home and try to stay off my butt going to another sensitive phase I don't know if it's me or the cushion or just what but certainly irritating. I must admit it was a challenge getting dressed this morning but I was able to do it and get to my coffee group meeting well within the time limit. I don't know why I like going to these events so much unless it's just to being company with some of the other people at the property. There is nothing Earth shaking going on just a bunch of old people talking about the stuff that they've been doing since the last Thursday. The two Hispanic ladies that run the group or host the event does a great job whether it's cookies, pieces of fruit or in today's situation all the above Plus pancakes. I'm not much into pancakes especially in the social studies just because syrup is such a culprit. And if I eat something with syrup on it it's bound to get on my hands and once it's on my hands it stays sticky on my hands all day long it's drives me totally crazy so I just assumed pass and eat the other finger foods.

Not much else happened today for me anyway I spent the whole day pretty much in the apartment watching different movies. I only watched one Marvel movie and then couple movies on Prime but you a little high brow but not too bad I enjoyed them anyway. I had the heater cranked up and I wore stalking cap some of the time. I think I was more sleepy than I thought because I remember it one time visiting with somebody at the coffee group they told me to wake up and I was looking right at him I must have been dozing or something how embarrassing. I thought I slept really good however I was up at 6:00 I actually went to bed around 10:00 I think red till 11:00 which surprised me cuz I thought it was very much later than that so it got a little extra more sleep than I usually do they can get all confusing to me

Potluck

Wednesday, today, is a poop day and sadly I must report that I hardly made any deposits at all today which leads me to some anxiety as far as now having to wait until Friday for my next opportunity unless of course my body takes it in its own mind to do whatever it wants and moves forward on the schedule. I'm still trying to absorb the lesson that this is not a great big deal if it happens it happens you get cleaned up and get back into the game. It's just that simple but it does take a toll on me as far as how I envision myself and how I want to be able to get out and do things but for fear of a public poop sort of holds me back. I don't think I'm getting depressed because of this but I know I'm a bit concerned. What if this is the new routine that my body's establishing. I think possibly maybe an option might be just don't go any further than I need to day wise and have a regular poop Day on Saturday night if I feel anything close to a need. Already I can tell I've spent way too much time on this particular issue and I'm sure the reader is getting real tired of this as well. I guess I'm just working through the whole thing. I'm really thankful that I've got Melissa who has no issues or problems of working with my situation. I'm really lucky on that level even if it costs me something extra to get these things cleaned up when it's not a regular day.

I don't know if the luncheon was planned for today, tax day but they had a potluck lunch today at the facility everyone was just going to bring whatever they wanted. I really wanted to take part on this and so early on after I got dressed and such this morning I went over to the market to see if I could find something to bring as my contribution since I wasn't going to make anything. I have a saddened however that there is nothing even put out this morning and it was like 9:30 or 10:00 that they didn't have a fried chicken or anything else out I could have gone the one of the Frozen casseroles they have but then he gets around 12 or 14 dollars like family size lasagna for example. I guess I'm too cheap I wasn't going to spray that much. I still have in a case I bought a few weeks ago I drink it down and do it on the table for my contribution. Nobody took any of the drinks it's okay I saw it as my way is buying into the game. There were some good dishes there however some nice potato salad, meatballs pork and beans or ham and beans of some sort and assorted cakes, pies and other Charming desserts. It was nice everyone visited a little bit everyone looks nice to each other. I was quite proud of myself the only thing I took home was the cans of Pop, my donation..

 PS I'm going to have to get back into the habit of taking images every day. I should have taken some of the luncheon today but I wasn't thinking. Hopefully I'll get better

Movie and coffee

I didn't have to go into the city today no assist meeting. Once again this feels like a holiday in fact I had to keep telling myself that it was Tuesday because it felt so much like a Friday. Interesting I thought so as not to lose the day by just hanging around the apartment or watching Marvel movies I decided that even though it was cold outside comparatively speaking I put on my hood or drape a blanket over me jump the bus and go to a movie which I did. I tried to get the problem of my card fixed- - my special movie card that lets me go to all the movies I want a month for 20 bucks. Somehow it's stopped working but that wasn't able to be done today but it's able to get a ticket just the same. I watched the movie again that I saw a couple of weeks ago and it was like watching a whole another movie. I kind of remembered parts and pieces of this but most of the movie was totally new and made a lot more sense. I don't know what's wrong with me I've got to watch a movie twice now to figure it out. I don't think that's an aging thing neither. The movie was Project Hail Mary and it was much more enjoyable this time. It's a long picture but pretty well done. Anyway, the only problem I had was the theater was pretty cold I'm glad I took my blanket with me. Following the movie I really didn't want to go home just then and I was kind of hungry though I had popcorn at the front of the movie but nothing to drink. I went over to Harmons which is right next to the movie house and got the piece of bread from their Bakery which is really good then stopped at their coffee shop for some coffee. I took some images of my treats I'm going to try to post them with this posting. I know I haven't done any images for some time so I think I'm about due.

As I mentioned earlier I went to Harmons which I think is a high end grocery store. I forget that I look pretty weird as I'm rolling around town these days. I look like the strange guy that I used to see around town myself and a different me. I look pretty well messed up people give me a wide berth that's just as well but I went to the little area where you can sit and eat things you purchased from there Little Deli kind thing. And ate my piece of bread and drink my coffee before I headed out to the bus stop. It wasn't as cold in the afternoon as it was going to the movie. I guess the sun had had enough time to cook the surroundings a little bit. Luckily I didn't have to wait long before the 217 showed up to Ferry me home. What's up good to get back into the world again.

 

Poop Recovery Monday

 It's so hard to go backwards especially in the area of weather when you've been treated to some really nice warm summer like days so early in the spring. Even though the sun was out today it was still quite chilly out. I actually went to the market and was okay all things considered. I found a hood that I forgot that I had hanging in the closet - - my caregiver is so good about hanging up stuff that I drop and when that happens I forget that I even have the item. I wiggle myself into my blue hoodie that zips up front I like this because it's long enough I can actually pull it down beside me in the back and not having a Skin showing. My blue hood is one of my few pieces of clothing that I kind of enjoy wearing. It's a struggle however to get inside the hoodie and I prefer only trying to put it on when I have short sleeves on like a t-shirt. As I kind of mentioned earlier that the hoodie is a great piece of clothing that I can wear instead of having to get all dressed up in one of my heavy jackets that's too heavy for the season. I know there's other things in the world I should be thinking about this much more important than how nice wearing a hood is but it's true.

Actually going out in public is quite an event for me today because I had a major bowel accident overnight. I was so thankful to have a caring and supportive caregiver that I have who just jumped right into the situation this morning when she came for her regular work and had this added project to her schedule. I thought I'd contain the elements of the bowel movement better than I had and actually had done pretty well. I only had a couple other events to judge it by that I really did really really good and contained if not all of it most of it the poo. Well I did contain a lot of the material but there is still quite a bit of feces that escaped. And I had to transfer from my bed to my chair and that also spread the material out. If there's anything good about this whole situation it's that the more I have these kind of issues the more I realize I'm like everybody else and though no one speaks about their bowel accidents they're happening out there probably more than my naive self what's to even think about. So I'm getting used to it I just don't want to become a weekly ordeal. It's still the situation that's happening that I have three bowel movements a week remember? And the longest I have to go from one day to the next is the weekend or have a bowel movement on Friday morning and then I have to go all the way till Monday morning. This does not seem like a lot but it is. If I cannot get on top of this situation I may have to just build in another day of a regular bowel movement on either Saturday night or Sunday morning. Probably the earlier the better since that's thea problem that I think I eat so much that I've got it stuffed in me and it's got to come out somewhere. I hope nobody finds this offensive just part of life of the Aging odd quad

Simply Sunday

 I can't say it's really cold, it's not cold but it's not warm and dry either. Look like major storm clouds a Cool Wind and fairly chilly temperature this morning I met me as I left the apartments and headed for breakfast thank goodness I was wearing my long sleeve shirt because it was definitely not a warm spring moment. Oh, it's definitely spring just on the colder side and there was a couple drops hit me too as I rolled over to the restaurant. I was amazed when I was visiting with Mark that he's heading off to Europe again this next week. I'm just amazed that he's doing this and I'm not sure exactly why except to be hanging out with people he is interested in over there most of them younger women. We had some good discussion this morning not much because the kids showed up. Talked a lot about Mark's knee for being recognized and his need for feeling appreciated Love by other people. This also brought up a lot of conversations about karen/shannon his mother. She was a handful had a lot of issues, a lot of problems. It's mental health challenges and certainly I think had some impacts on Mark we're trying to break my heart.

I really didn't do much the rest of the day mainly just watching Marvel movies with the heater going full blast. It probably wasn't really that cold inside the apartment it just look that way looking out at the clouds and the possibility of inclement weather. That's pretty uncomfortable most of the day I think I'm sitting on a poop and I just don't want it to come out before tomorrow morning. It's the only problem with weekends with me is that it's the three days I go without pooping well actually just two days in a night but still it's pretty uncomfortable I wish I could just be like in the old days even be even after my accident I can still eventually poop by myself which I did up until I had that pressure thing we moved from my neck and really decimated my access to being independent. I'm still thankful that I can do the things that I do and I do the things that I do but it's just one of those little things being able to poop anytime that you want to. I just don't have the strength to get me on or off the toilet especially in the power chair. I don't know if I could do it as in the manual chair but I don't have that option anymore. I don't even think that I could transfer from my bed to the manual chair safely. So hopefully I'm going to close maybe a little early tonight and see if about hitting the bed a little bit early. Hopefully I'll be able to hold the poop until tomorrow morning if I go to bed and take the pressure off from sitting up. I can pack myself pretty well with bed pads and wet wipes in case I can't hold it. Luckily if I go during the night I'll be able to contain the poop to a fairly safe level like I've done other times. This really mitigates the amount of work that Melissa will have to do. This is also cheaper for me because I don't have to have her come out on an emergency type situation but I usually pay around 20 bucks for her visit to come out and clean me up. I figure I can just tough it out until tomorrow and hopefully things s will be good then

Saturday sentiments

This may be another short one because I've just let this day get away from me. No specific reason just laziness I guess. However I did make or tried to make the casserole that I've been thinking of the last couple days the hamburger patties can of mushroom soup garlic dry powder. Turn that okay sounds good as I thought it was going to be but gave me something to eat for tomorrow but I won't have to cook unless I warm up or make some rice. Tonight I just use Chinese noodles which works pretty good I may do that tomorrow. I know what may have confused me now that I'm thinking about why it got so late. It's the stupid daylight savings time. Now the sun doesn't even sink behind the mountains until 8:00 p.m. that gives me the weird feeling that it's not as late as I think it is so at 8:00 p.m. I think it's a lot earlier so I don't use my time like I should think that I've got more time to do it it all sudden I realize it's 10:00 How Bizarre. That's excuse I'm going to use tonight and it's a good enough excuse for me. I did go over to the coffee shop this morning I even got involved in some of the conversation that was going on around me. The people there seem to like me okay I just can't keep up with their conversations or burrow into their table. I went to the shop earlier than usual today I don't know why about half an hour earlier. Lot of us old guys talked about how weird it was that the Artemis exploration thing is getting as much attention as it is. I mean we all went through the walking on the moon landing on the moon thing years ago. Which I think is a lot more significant than just doing the whole loop around the earth thing. Like I said I still have lots to do before I can go to bed. Looks like tomorrow I have breakfast with Marc Anthony over at the restaurant and I don't know what I'll do after that I think it's supposed to be inclement weather so I might just hold up in the apartment again watch movies hang out read my book. I certainly have enough to do..

Weekend equals Pizza Time

 It's hard to believe I'm looking down the barrel at another weekend! Why is life going so quickly for me I don't understand this. However that's not such a bad thing I'm enjoying my life it's not like my life is being painful. It's just going so quickly makes me a bit paranoid sometimes. Having said that I've been thinking a lot about pizza lately. I know that seems rather irrelevant compared to what I was just talking about but it's true. I would really like one piece of pizza and that's all. I'm hesitant to order a whole pizza from where I would like it but that's way too much calories and way too much carbohydrates so I don't order a whole pizza. I don't purchase a whole pizza from the market. I've done that before and I like doing that but again it's the same situation I don't need a whole pizza. I miss the old days when you could go to a pizza shop and buy two pieces of pizza the soft drink and call it good that would be your lunch or that would be your dinner but doesn't seem I can do that anymore. People keep telling me there was a couple places around here that one could do that but I don't believe them I haven't seen them yet. This might be true somewhere up in the university area. Students still live on pizza I'm sure. They probably make money off selling pizza by the pieces.

I guess I'm kind of a pizza snob I just don't want to eat any kind of a pizza but now things are getting somewhat desperate. Today I went out foraging for a container that I could put coffee in, you know, ground coffee. I brought some flavored coffee from my local coffee shop couple days ago blueberry something and it's okay it's just a weird flavor for coffee. It would be good for like a dessert coffee or something like that I can see that but not for 6:00 in the morning wake up coffee. But went across the street from where I live there are a number of little shops that I thought might have something like that but alas I struck out nobody had any little cans or containers that you could keep coffee in. However, there is a pizza shop. It's a chain Pizza organization basically doing most of their sales and home delivery of whole pizzas of course. I usually don't even give these guys a second thought because I've had their Pizza in the past and have not been impressed- - they had a store pizza shop there in Murray where I used to live and we bought a couple pizzas from those guys and I was never impressed with this pizza. However I was in the area I rolled past the front windows and the pizza smelled good in the pictures of them looked good. The price was acceptable so I thought about maybe I should give these guys another shot. Even if I did however I'm still stuck with the problem of what am I going to do with a whole pizza? I don't know this joint if the pizza was halfway decent it made it a lot easier to go get one and just roll back to my apartment real quick it could be done relatively fast. I think it's a Pizza Hut or something like that it's a chain but I'm not that desperate yet. I have enough stuff in the refrigerator right now to get me through the weekend maybe…

S

My market miracle

 I don't know why I consider going to the market a major portion of my day but I tend to and I always feel the same way at the end of the day. Things that I count rather significant today was going to the market and then before that going to the social coffee coffee social thing that happens every Thursday at this project. I've written about the coffee social before in this document. It's that Weekly get together where coffee is served, it's suggested a dollar donation but they'll let you have it for free, and I guess the point is that the group will sit around and talk and socialize which is good I guess. It took me a while to get into the mode even though I always went. I didn't think it was mandatory or anything like that just seemed like it was something fairly decent to support. In the beginning there are a lot more folks that went to this function interestingly they were white folk. The number of them got older and died of course but then there's a number of them that stopped coming and I don't know why I think because other colors started showing up mainly Brown. I can't believe people would stop coming just because different color Stars showing up more than the others that's just plain stupid. I'm glad I didn't stop coming I look forward to meeting with these people every Thursday morning. They work real hard to have good treats as far as having something to eat with your coffee it's usually some form of cookie or sometimes people actually make something to bring in that's kind of nice I would settle for donuts- I would always settle for donuts. Sadly we hardly ever have Donuts.

The market was just the market just the market around the corner from my apartment complex. I went mainly because I thought I had meds I needed to pick up it said so on my email. But when I got there there were no meds for me in fact they advised me that I was out of refills for my one medication that I need but the good part was it we got the ball rolling they called the doctor's office and hopefully soon they'll have my meds refilled. While I was there about more useless stuff that I didn't really need like five or four pre-made hamburger Patty's I really want to try some of the recipes that I seen on my laptop recently. They also got some soup mixes that you use when you make these kinds of things with your Crock-Pot that's kind of exciting. Oh I remember now! I had like $30 worth of things to purchase and when I went to the line I realized I didn't have my wallet. I had somehow left it at home. Embarrassed I told them to put the stuff aside and I was going to run home and get my wallet. At the time I wasn't really sure that the wallet was at home I thought maybe I'd lost it on the way. But then the guy in front of me some young study looking guy pretty rough looking “said no I'll cover him” . And he did! 30 bucks- - 30 bucks I didn't have to spend. I wish I knew how to get a hold of him or else I could see him again not gladly pay him the 30 but that's not going to happen sometimes it's just the best to accept the miracle…

Low energy Blues

 This may be a short blog because the device that I write on does not seem to want to take a charge. I thought I charged it all day today and then when I went to check it tonight it was still like at 32%. So I'm going to write as long as I can and still post and see if I can get this charge better tomorrow. Maybe I have just worn this poor sucker out. I really like to write with it but if it won't take a charge that doesn't leave me much to do with it. The day was a beautiful day no question about it there was a small Breeze but not enough to bother me in my short sleeves. I didn't go anywhere to speak of just hung out here at the apartment read a little bit out on the patio that was about it. Of course I was busy today was wash day so I folded clothes and hung up clothes and I did my arm bike of course. With the help of my person my help we are able to get a new lamp installed on the side of my bed which is really excites me. The lamp that I did have for some reason it was just flickering on and off and kind of driving me crazy I couldn't really rely on it to do it what I needed to do which is illuminate the book I'm reading it ain't giving time as well as help like the room. I really like the lamp light not a big fan of ceiling light. I of course will use it when I have to and now off and I do have to use the overhead light. The big problem is the switch to turn it on the front of the room by the door coming in and my head is that the officer end of the room however I've learned that I can reach it with the long stick. So when I do need those days when I got to have the overhead light and I'm in bed I can turn it on and off with my long stick and that's cool. In a nutshell that was it for today. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have more power and I can dictate longer and maybe this is just it for this particular item. I might have to start looking for another flat screen or handheld riding device.

Saved by the lotion

Sometimes I wish I had more going on. I appreciate the meetings in Gatherings that I attend from week to week. Sometimes I think I could do more but in the back of my mind I have this weird thought complex indicating that I'm not doing more because my body won't let me do more. I know that sounds kind of strange but it's true. Sadly, I think I'm just wearing out physically speaking. I know there's something going on with my rear end I'm not exactly sure I attend to it every evening and morning with this special lotion that I found which works I think really well and has allowed the skin to stay intact pretty well but I kind of think my skin might be turning or shredding and when that happens sometimes I think it's all over. It's just a matter of time until all you're doing is skin maintenance and not much of a life. I know this sounds pretty dire but I don't know what else to think. I have a meeting with my physician in a couple weeks and I might bring this up. I'm a little intimidated to do so just because I don't know what they're going to do with this happens and what they might suggest. I think if it gets to the point where I'm actively bleeding are the pain is so great that I can't sit up maybe I'll take quicker action.

I asked my caregiver every morning when she hoists me up transfer me from my chair to my shower bench check out my butt and she does and I think Faithfully to what she sees and what she knows says it's okay that my butt looks just fine. I have a lot of faith in the person she has done a lot of caregiving and gone through a lot of consumers and has seen a lot of trauma physical trauma on butts and other parts of the body as far as skin breakdown goes in pressure sores and such. Since I've been applying my lotion to my skin two times a day morning and night I felt that my skin has been responding very well. In fact I'm no longer really even put it on what I used to call the second skin or the first skin a very specialized plastic tape to cover the skin which would prevent the skin from shredding and such from transferring back and forth from bed to chair or the rocking motion of the body against the fabric when in the chair driving for one point to the next especially over long distances. I've also been trying to maintain better pressure release procedures you know lifting yourself completely off the cushion. So I know that I've been trying to be proactive and trying to minimize the effects of skin breakdown but again I'm haunted in the back of my mind thinking no amount of procedural inputs going to stop the end result. I really don't look forward to days and days of laying in bed waiting and waiting for my body to heal. Then of course there's the quality of life issues this would render which is about zero. Maybe I'm just expecting too much but still this is how the end begins I'm sure of it

 

No chicken tonight

I zero out the miles on my chair every night or at least I try to. This gives me a great idea or a constant of how many or how far I go in today's time. If I recorded this information it would be pretty good stuff for the accuracy of how much I travel in a day. Anyway, tonight as I just about finishing the day I have 3.0 miles on my odometer! I've done more of course in the past and three is actually a good number All Things Considered but just shows that I've been busy today in order to Garner 3 miles on this chair. I was able to do that and do my hour arm bike workout. I made a list over the weekend of all the things I felt that I needed but I keep forgetting every time I go to the market and I remember when I'm done and back home it's just so frustrating. Simple things like a bottle of mouthwash or another box of sandwich bags the list goes on not big items but items that I use on a daily basis and once that I've gotten them I should be okay for an extended period of time. One of the things I got that I took a chance on was the lamp to replace the broken lamp at the head of my bed that I use for reading and getting up in the morning on the mornings are dark. I'm not sure if the lamp that I got will do the job I think it should since I only use it as a reading lamp. When working correctly that lamp does throw off a good amount of light I do like that on a generalized basis for that part of the bedroom but I was more involved in getting a lamp that I could read with. I'm still doing that trying to get to bed thing with enough time for me to read a couple chapters in whatever volume I'm attempting to saw through at any given time. I was totally surprised cuz I thought Walmart would have a better selection in fact that's where I got the lamps that I'm using now. I decided to get a lamp that didn't use traditional light bulbs- it says it's an LED and the lamp bulb is included with the device. Was just at to see how good the LED concept is.

I have so much food in this apartment that I live in with all my canned goods that it's hard for me to justify buying anything already made. Today while I was in Walmart I rolled past the pile of roast chickens that they have for purchase to take home and enjoy. I've actually taken a couple of these chickens home before over the years and it really does make for a great dinner as well as a great leftovers which would have been my justification. Though I would have eaten at least one leg. The chicken smells so good and in the winter time they're so hot it's nice to roll around in the cold roast chicken underneath your jacket. I didn't purchase one tonight however I've got stuff I can make noodles or rice veggies and canned chicken cuz I do have these chickens or pieces of chicken that will work just fine for such a meal. It's not like using real meat taking off the bone and that great chicken skin that you get with a roast chicken but it will suffice once the rice is made the vegetables fried and added to the rice and the meat they'll still turn out to be a great meal. It's still not like deboning a chicken and all the joys it brings.

 

Happy Easter

 I'm kind of getting the impression that April's beginning to stabilize as far as it's weather is concerned. Today I will not say was absolutely beautiful but it was very nice, very spring like it almost inviting to sit out and just get basted by the sunlight which I did for a little bit. The day started fairly early for me I was kind of shocked when I woke up and saw that it was 455 a.m. and you'll remember that on Sundays when I meet the kids for breakfast I have to get up at 5:00 in order to be sure that I'm dressed and ready to go when it's time cuz we usually eat breakfast at 8:00 a.m.. I was kind of proud of myself I rolled out of bed without issue did the transfer into the chair straight forward and then negotiate myself to the back of the seat. I actually made relatively good time and very rarely stopping to yeah they're all over just hang out. I was finally ready about 7:35 a.m. but I've been contacted by Mark at some point in time requested another 30 minutes or at 8:30 a.m. appointment breakfast. Usually this irks me a little bit but not this day I could use the 30 minutes which I did. A little concerned about Mark however that I could see that when he's suggested 8:30 a.m. that he did that around 3:35 in the morning this morning so even if he takes a nap or two before breakfast he's still been up for a long time. I can't say anything because I suffer from not being able to get to bed before 12:00 usually so I can understand. I try to hold back for saying anything just being the good parent Observer. It was just the two of us for breakfast and that's okay I think we had some good conversation and touched on some concerns and issues that we might have with each other and are the rest of the family. I could see Mark was nearly exhausted and he still had some work he had to get out and do before I was able to do anything else today. He continues a pretty strong relationship with his ex and I don't know how productive or even healthy this might be but it seems important to him that he's able to do this. I keep thinking it eventually not be rewarded enough to keep going but certainly hasn't been not yet. Mark talked about another year trip very soon next month I think he said I think it should be pretty interesting.

Breakfast was the high point, I'm glad that I had it. I really didn't feel up to going anywhere else today just using up what time I could in the sunshine. Thursday or Friday I made tuna fish sandwiches and kept them in the court zip up bag. I had this for dinner a very low key dinner with the remainder of my broken potato chips. I thought it was pretty good dinner good enough to watch the local basketball team that I support or at least watch get trounced again. I basically turned the game off in the second quarter turning on the last 4 minutes of the game where they were almost 40 points behind. It's so weird the commentators don't seem to be too weird that out about the fact that they only have 20 wins in the whole season maybe a few more than that but not much. I'm kind of excited about the new week should have a couple days of fairly decent temperatures especially Tuesday when I'm sure I'll be traveling downtown. Happy Easter!

Saturday's reveal

 I think I had a minor Revelation today not really sure but I'm still thinking about it. I've had this experience a couple of times now that it's not the holiday but it's close to the holiday usually the day before and I get up and go to my local coffee shop which is luckily right across the street from where I live and I'm shocked when I see that they're closed. There's a sign scribbled in the window that they're taking off the the day and the holiday. This is always a shock to me or it was now I'm finally getting smarter. Today I actually called the shop around 6:30 a.m. right after I got up and sure enough they at least had a message on the machine indicating that they'd be closed today and tomorrow that would be open again on Monday following Easter. I was already awake it's already up so it's not like I can go back to sleep. I got up and got to my day.

The cold front finally moved it's cold ass out of here leaving much cleaner air and clear skies. The sun shined bright. However the remnants of the Canadian Air stuck around and even in the sunshine it was still relatively chilly another long sleeve shirt weekend. I thought this cooler weather was what was keeping me in the apartment and enjoying my Netflix and other internet platforms. But today was nice I could have gone out and done something but the revelation that I think I'm talking about that I've had is that I really won't do anything by myself. Oh I usually do something off and on but unless I'm committed to do something or even something like just showing up at the coffee shop next door and sitting by myself at the table watching everybody else visit I don't do anything. At least when I do the coffee shop thing I have something to talk about and I'm open to the possibility of something happening. It doesn't have to be something big and humongous like a function or something just anything that kind of commits me to doing something that gets me out and gets me going. But just to get up and do something as opposed to kicking back and watching an episode or a movie or something on one of the platforms I belong to I think I like to do that more than anything even if it's something I've already watched. I must say though I'm getting into the habit of making a better meal options sometimes. I hate exploding my kitchen and just me it would be better if somebody else was there I could cook for but that's not reality. So I'm going to to try to start cooking modular meals that I can have in the refrigerator pull them out and make it real two or three course meal for dinner or breakfast even this morning I had driven itself meals had cooked earlier this week for breakfast and it turned out pretty decent actually. A few spoonfuls of mashed potatoes, an egg that was cooked the other day with part of the ham that I cooked and I had it sliced a little bit. I even had a banana to go with it. It was a real meal. For dinner I had to last bit of Chinese food that I had with my friend Dwayne when he came over this week for lunch I still had all the fried rice left in a separate container that I mixed with their last of the broccoli beef. It made a great dinner probably more than I should have had but maybe if it's Chinese it doesn't matter. I haven't cooked anything for tomorrow which I probably won't now. It's late I'm getting tired but tomorrow will probably be just a meal of burritos, or a can of Stew maybe or some other fast food I might have in the freezer. I like to keep sending meals easy. It's just hard to ask for one person..

Finishing up Friday

 I just finished basically put it away in the groceries from the market. I know that's not a big deal but the fact that I used one of those home delivery services it's kind of big. Oh, I've used them before but today was just for convenience and I was interested in doing a big enough order that I would be justified and not doing it myself like I got up 12 can box of soft drink which would have been all I could really handle if I was really trying to bring everything home on my own. It's just convenient I think that's what I want to look for these days. I'm done being super Crip and want to be us just a super person. The days are still cold in my opinion anyway. Temperatures in the hi forties today it's the Canadian Air they say let's put the air so cold but it should be short-lived and warmer temps should be coming by the next day or so at least by Easter. It's the beginning of Easter weekend and I think I wrote about the kids decorated my door the other day. Really fascinating to me that for the first time the church, LDS trying to catch up to all the other churches in there Easter worship. In my opinion that's never been a big deal in the church - nothing if you ever go back on other postings from the blog or my journals you would see that I've written about this before. But anyway just never been a big deal I always called it one of the role level holidays but now they're trying to make it into a big level holiday it's really becoming the battle. I noticed today the Protestant to trying to claim it even the president of the USA is trying to have a Protestant only celebration of Easter no Catholics allowed or something like that I I saw it on some posting. It's becoming quite a task for the Johnny come late please as far as Easter worship goes. I guess the bunny's way out finally and for good we shall see there's a lot of money built into the bunny Easter phenomenon. By the way it's kind of trivial it's a lot more irons in the fire than have to worry about candy eggs and rabbits hopping down a trail.

Not much else is happening I'm still totally enjoying the clean apartment the kids left me the other day. I did notice today however I have dropped a number of things on the kitchen floor in doing my meal prep and just working around the table. Such things are going to happen if you live in your living space. That's okay though if it gets too bad I'll call the kids over again. And I don't mind whenever they get around to it just as long as they do get around to it. I totally appreciate the joy and humility these guys are brought to my life. I can't believe I'm actually saying these kind of things but it's true another level of understanding has washed over me and that's the joy of children and grandchildren- - amazing.

Tense and ready

 Winter is not quite finished with us, along the Wasatch front, yet. This was evident with all the sideways snow blowing today. Cold front moved in and with it came to snow and many dark clouds. A perfect day to stay inside and do whatever one does on days like this. That's quite proud of myself in that I didn't do it Netflix and or Disney Plus till late in the day. Today's Thursday so it's coffee social in the morning and then I had a lunch appointment with an old friend of mine who brought in Chinese. That's always we had a great discussion mainly around the poor political choice of America right now as far as leadership goes and the current War situation. The lunch was a pretty good part of my day but but surprised me and topped off my day was a knock on my door and it was my granddaughter's boyfriend slash fiance here to clean up my apartment! I must say the place was not a total disaster but it was getting there. Especially the dining table which is buried or was buried underneath various trips from the market and just dumping stuff on the table when I get home. We got down to the surface of the table which is the first time this month it felt great. He swept the floors and mopped bed later my granddaughter joined us and went to work putting up the new door decorations for Easter. I'm not quite excited about facing the new holiday with a new decorated door! I'm so lucky to have these folks in my life. I certainly do not deserve such attention. Since I've already got my 180 minutes in on the arm bike I only had to do 20 more minutes today to have my 200 in for the week everything's going wonderful. If I was pessimistic I would be bracing myself for the shoe to drop. I'm totally hoping that's not going to happen but just the same I'm tensed up and ready just in case

The little things

 It's the little things that really bring satisfaction to me. That sounds a bougie but it really is the way I feel every once and again. I spent the evening listening to the Jazz lose their almost last game for the season finishing up my kid letters for the month. Actually the printer was out of ink. I had my caregiver this morning popping a new ink cartridge and away it went printing like a winner. I got my letters printed and the envelopes all the while keeping an eye on my wash or actually by that time I got to the caregiver had thrown him into the dryer and I had finished or we had finished the first dry and I started the clothes on the second dry. When I went back and checked on them about 40 minutes later the second dry was finished but the clothes were still kind of damp and I was not going to invest another 75 cents and 45 minutes to sit through another depressing dryer cycle that doesn't dry the clothes like they should. I reported this last week but obviously nothing was done. There's actually more to that story than I have time or the drive to write about tonight. Perhaps the darkest part of my day was listening to and watching the Jazz lose again. I'll leave it right there or less I'll be redundant. And finally I guess I folded the clothes and hung up the clothes that needed hanging and got that taken care of. So it's been a fairly productive day for the old man. It certainly relieved some stress getting those letters out. I'm still semi-focused on IRS and what they might do to me if anything. Every time I bring this up to my caregiver she just looks at me and says you don't have to. She feels because I make so little money that I don't have to file. Quite frankly I don't know and the person I've been going to or wanting to go to hasn't been available but starting now I have 14 days left before the 1040s have to go in. Guess I could be a tax cheat for the rest of my life and look over my shoulder and be afraid to answer the phone and are open the mailbox. I'm sure it knock on my door give me a cardiac arrest since nobody ever knocks on my door.

Spring has finally moved into the area which means that temperature has dropped significantly in this area like 10 to 15° difference which is amazing. Luckily for the rest of the week I don't have to leave the apartment except for perhaps tomorrow for coffee social just don't like a real life meeting. I supposedly have my buddy coming in for lunch tomorrow but we'll just go to the big room and have lunch there. That should be fun I look forward to having my lunches with this guy. He's really taking time to hang out with me. It's been a pretty good evening for me I'm about ready to turn in for the night. I don't know what it is but the pain I've been under the last couple weeks seems to be less tonight than usual and I don't know why. I won't question it just maybe get to bed early read a little bit and zone out for the night..