I think I've mentioned the last couple weeks a couple times about how my apartment is slowly breaking down to pure chaos. At least, it seems like this to me. I guess I'd gotten used to having the cleaning person come over weekly and keep the place up. My morning person whose job it is is to get me bathed and toileted and I've been most fortunate in that when she has a minute or two and has the well Melanie will also do some cleaning around the apartment. It's pretty much just picking up items sweeping the floor and then running the swifter over the floors but it really makes the place looked pretty good and certainly holds back the entropy no question about it. However with the chaos it's gone the last couple of weeks especially with the patient lifts and trying to maintain them I've lost control and begin piling. Piling of course is just that stacking things on any flat surface or not as high as they'll go and moving on to another surface. Nature abhors a vacuum.
I am so fortunate to have this power chair especially since this power chair has a number of functions that are totally important to my ability to live independent. One feature I use a lot on the power chair is the recline function as well as raising the feet so if needs be I can nearly become totally horizontal. One thing I have not really been able to absorb is the space I need when I recline. I always think I have more space than is available. This happened last night as I was watching a movie and at one point I use the recline feature and reclined right on top of one of my workbenches totally covered with paper materials like letters waiting to be filed medical receipts and other medical information also need to be filed just a whole lot of stuff that needs to be filed. When I crashed into the pilot went everywhere of course. And I just lost the will to clean it up until today. I do not know why it's so important but I want to have this fairly cleaned up by the time my person comes in the morning social just have to pick up a little bit. The bad part is that I'll just be stacking again I need to study the throwing stuff away or filing. Filing of course is the adult behavior and responsible thing to do and I guess I will do that. However there's also a bunch of stuff like the shoes I bought over the Internet that I need to send back but I just can't figure out how to do it. I know it's not rocket science but I know I have a college degree but I don't know why I can bring about this completion but the best part of every day is that I've given another chance to try.
This evening somewhere between the 5 o'clock news in the end of Young Sheldon I was able to enforce my will on the pile of entropy that I knocked over the other day. I even threw away a couple pieces that I just don't need anymore. I found one of the shoes has to go back to wherever it came from. I don't even care if they credit me with the return I just want the pair of shoes out of my life and my apartment. At one point in the week ahead the table nearly cleaned off but once again it looks like the scene out of close encounters of the third kind where the actor is built a replica of Devils Tower on his kitchen table. Good to spend a little more time on the chaos then go to bed get some sleep start again tomorrow, a new day. I can do this I can stop the entropy get the apartment to a maintainable spot than once again start searching for housekeeper. I can do this…
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