Saved by the lotion

Sometimes I wish I had more going on. I appreciate the meetings in Gatherings that I attend from week to week. Sometimes I think I could do more but in the back of my mind I have this weird thought complex indicating that I'm not doing more because my body won't let me do more. I know that sounds kind of strange but it's true. Sadly, I think I'm just wearing out physically speaking. I know there's something going on with my rear end I'm not exactly sure I attend to it every evening and morning with this special lotion that I found which works I think really well and has allowed the skin to stay intact pretty well but I kind of think my skin might be turning or shredding and when that happens sometimes I think it's all over. It's just a matter of time until all you're doing is skin maintenance and not much of a life. I know this sounds pretty dire but I don't know what else to think. I have a meeting with my physician in a couple weeks and I might bring this up. I'm a little intimidated to do so just because I don't know what they're going to do with this happens and what they might suggest. I think if it gets to the point where I'm actively bleeding are the pain is so great that I can't sit up maybe I'll take quicker action.

I asked my caregiver every morning when she hoists me up transfer me from my chair to my shower bench check out my butt and she does and I think Faithfully to what she sees and what she knows says it's okay that my butt looks just fine. I have a lot of faith in the person she has done a lot of caregiving and gone through a lot of consumers and has seen a lot of trauma physical trauma on butts and other parts of the body as far as skin breakdown goes in pressure sores and such. Since I've been applying my lotion to my skin two times a day morning and night I felt that my skin has been responding very well. In fact I'm no longer really even put it on what I used to call the second skin or the first skin a very specialized plastic tape to cover the skin which would prevent the skin from shredding and such from transferring back and forth from bed to chair or the rocking motion of the body against the fabric when in the chair driving for one point to the next especially over long distances. I've also been trying to maintain better pressure release procedures you know lifting yourself completely off the cushion. So I know that I've been trying to be proactive and trying to minimize the effects of skin breakdown but again I'm haunted in the back of my mind thinking no amount of procedural inputs going to stop the end result. I really don't look forward to days and days of laying in bed waiting and waiting for my body to heal. Then of course there's the quality of life issues this would render which is about zero. Maybe I'm just expecting too much but still this is how the end begins I'm sure of it