Silent Like 1914

The phones have mysteriously fallen silent here at 211 this cold, and snowy Christmas eve—I am one of the few operators working this, cold gray afternoon. The was an unseasonably warm wind blowing as I left the house for work this morning—a storm was blowing in. I left the house a couple of later than usual since I had to stop at Alpine Medical to get the control box on my chair checked out before I went on into work. My chair mysteriously stopped working on me last Friday in the bathroom and this morning was the earliest I could get in to have the chair checked out.


My power chair checked out fine—which just means the tech could find anything glaringly wrong with the device. Dianne is gone all this week visiting Brooks—I am home alone and I wanted to be sure I am not stranded anywhere in my chair. My chair is aging and I understand systems with I systems will fail and that is what is happening all I can do is strive to be proactive and limit the amount of issues to as few as possible. I am sensing the control is going and that is pricey easily 1000.00 plus I just have to accept this and I am still a good two years before I will be eligible for another power chair. We have already started planning hope we might find the resources for my next chair. Last Friday when I went to pick up my latte I miss judged and spilt the liquid all over my control unit—the joy stick I use to drive my chair—easily the most affordable part of my chair and to make matters worse earlier in the week I had to pick pad cover—a rubberized sheet which protect buttons I use to operate functions of my chair. The tech told me I was luck cause if any of the coffee had indeed found its way into my joy stick control then my whole unit would be toast—so I may have dodge a bullet there. So now I am rolling on a time bomb. I don’t know when or where but somewhere at times my joystick controller is going to fail and I will be stranded I just hope when the that moment occurs it will be on a working day and I will have access to my cell.

I am alone this holiday—my family has gone to visit Brooks in Washington—Mark A is round as well as brother and cousins an one ancient aunt—whom I love dearly- I love them all dearly but some times it is just easier to just be alone. So there is snow falling right now as I type and I know the ride home will be long and cold—I thought bout making a turkey breast for dinner tomorrow but I don’t know now. The more I think about the effort I just might pass—maybe some red boxes and some wine or even a spot of Christmas gin and wait for visits from Christmas Past.

Where is my Hair Dryer?!

My hair dryer missing! I keep a hair dryer at my desk and usually in my back pack to use on cold and raining days or when I might have a bodily malfunction of one sort or another. Especially during the winter season during the snow and cold I use my blower a lot. Many times I get soaked from cold wet snow falls. So, when I get to work, drenched and freezing I dry out with my hand held drying device, I am always surprised at how well the dryers work. The only problem I have with dryer heat maintenance is the possibility of morning my legs or other parts.


I have used all kinds of heater in the past. Early on I realized I could pick up a hair dryer for hardly anything at garage sales or thrift stores, especially here in Salt Lake city the home of Deseret Industries—the country’s largest thrift shop network ; at the DI the hair dryers are stacked like cord wood. So, I can replace the missing dryer but I doubt I will find on as good as the one I missed. I lived with a teenage girl, our daughter and during that time between Bridget and her mother we acquired numerous hair dryers and some of the dryers were top of the line. Heavy duty, industrial strength systems, using one of these dryers is like drying your hair with the tail end of a jet. I needs a dryer system.

Today , I had a malfunction, I needed the device and I was totally surprised to find I don’t have a dryer at this office-I cannot believe this. I doubt I would have taken the dryer home-knowing my direct need for such a device. So if I don’t have a hair dryer here then someone else has absconded with the tool. I hate to think that someone in this office might have taken the appliance—right off my work space. Replacing the dryer is not really a big deal it’s just awkward and time consuming and will be good to have round when next I need such an implement and the biggest issue I needed to have device today

One more week gone...

Already the weekend and I have hardly any posts for yet another week. I am just not getting the time I need to get posts written and up.  I really need to work harder—we met with retirement systems and everything seems to be in place which takes a lot of stress off us and DD is busy getting the house in shape to live me in charge during her forth coming trip to Washington  state. I am feeling much better and  I think I get along just fine.   My time at this work station is about up, just a few more weeks I may do some  volunteer time here if they will have me—I have to check with administration to see if they will be open to me  coming  once or twice a week to take on the phones. I think working a couple of times a week will be healthy for me  as a way of stepping away from the work place: not too quickly. I firmly believe  stopping work too quickly may prove harmful to my health.

December Weekend

It was quiet this morning as I sprang from the front door and down a ramp coated with new snow—the snow has been falling all weekend, not a huge snow fall actually just a couple of inches at that but the snow brought cold temps, winter temps , Christmas temps and felt for just a minute the Christmas Spirit as I slid onto the drive way and began my commute up to my bus stop.


The weekend skies were filled with cold gray clouds spitting snow stingily, We did not leave the house except to check for mail the day was perfect to stay inside and cook and work in the computer room. We ended up making cookies and basically nesting. I was able to visit with some of the kids over the internet on Saturday night—Mark A was on line with Shelly and girls and were trying to get Charles and James online as well. We never did link up with the boys we really saw the potential of having everyone on line at one time. I washed dishes, seemed like tons of dishes, washing up after each meal was prepared and food project completed—I wrote to two thirds of my commitment and watched little television—which I believe is a good thing. I did not get to any art work, which is my own fault, I could have spent more time on art and I need get myself spending more time in the real time and out of the virtual arena. Though I did cut another video file for no one ;’s consumption but my own.

The hours of daylight are short, I spend a lot of time rolling in the dark and just enjoying the season

Focus,Focus Focus!!!

I have been sitting on this information for nearly a week now, not really knowing how to approach the information’s dissemination or even if I should but in the end I think the event is worth writing about from my point of view and the whole irony which seems to infest my life. This entry also seems appropriate  as I notice I am writing more and more about my impending retirement and how this event will influence my life.

Last week, I think it was Thursday, I was sleepy, worn out by the week ,and I was feeling groggy as I headed into work .  I was dressed warm, had my Starbucks stacked in my back pack and I was cruising pretty well  over to my building. I could have easily fallen back asleep if I had not had to work today. But, I was sleeping a little as I rolled, I could tell—which is stupid. I need to be more focused. I have to cross at least two streets as I roll Eastward to my building. I came to one intersection and I checked the light and the “Walk” light had just come on and not even thinking to look for traffic I plunged out onto the street and I immediately hear rubber grabbing for and clutching pavement and when I looked up I was right, smack dab in the grill og an oncoming vehicle. Lucky for md the driver was awake enough to slam on his/her brakes stopping in time to save my chair and my life. The driver making a right turn on the light. I know this is extremely dangerous I have had several friends run over in their wheelchair—people come up to a light which is red and the driver is going to make the turn. The driver will check for on coming cars but never checks for  checks for wheelchairs or other pedestrians.

In my drowsy state I did not even register my near doom experience, it was only after I had gotten to the other side of the street did I realize what almost happened. I did not start shaking or anything like that  I just could get the picture of the vehicle’s grill looming right here to my immediate left. I thought about the incident all day yesterday and even into the night. On another note I was so frustrated that on the next block, I got confused with the lights and started crossing  against the light just as another vehicle came screaming round the corner—I realized what was happening at the last minute and slammed my chair into reverse and pulled myself out of the at the last minute: tragedy averted .

Over and over again I have heard or read of folks who retire dying days, weeks or months following following their retirement. Why? I don’t know but I am beginning to sense something happening to me which just might affect my mortality following my time following work. I need to wake up, I need to sharpen my focus to make sure I’m round long after the job is gone…

Nothing Saucy

The skies are gray this morning with a promise of rain—the days continue to be warmer than normal for this time of year. Christmas season and it feels like  Spring. There is supposed to be cooler weather moving in tomorrow with a slight promise of snow but I will be surprised if I see any white stuff  hit the road. Dianne has really began cleaning the house, I think stimulated by her upcoming trip to Washing State to visit Brooks or from October’s threat of Sandy coming into town next week and Sandy committing to coming over and clean house—what ever the reason I am excited and pleased to see clothes folded and floors vacuumed—now if I can just survive the trip home alone.

I am feeling much more comfortable now then I was feeling last couple of months—I have healed and actually feel have grown stronger with the meds and other options I have started practicing  like the compressor socks—even if I can not be totally naked wearing the socks I can be naked enough to feel good and for art work ;-).  My days at this work place are numbered and I can feel the sense of separation I feel coming. I am talking and thinking about coming back to volunteer maybe one day a week, on Mondays,  early shift to get me going and out of the house and into life. I may look at some other areas to consider volunteering at as well.

Sorry, nothing saucy in this day’s post just checking in this middle of the week.

Sights of the Season

I continue to have less the stellar posts top this blog, I just cannot get the undisturbed time I need to develop the thoughts I want and need to get expressed…so in the mean time I am just going to rely on short little blasts of thought which will get some of what I am thinking about day to day and maybe an image or two.

Yesterday I came to work was confronted with Christmas poinsettias blocking access to the access buttons to the elevators. I know it seems a little thing but it is just one more thing I have to navigate round in a days time.

Just A Little

I am once again overwhelmed with the feelings of schizophrenia I feel as I am working here at United Way—I was contacted by my old employer last week to inquire if I would be the Santa this year as I have for the past twenty or so years. I have always done the job, I am legendary, I am the man. I am the only wheelchair Santa in salt Lake County if not the whole state. I don’t necessarily like the job its just one I can do and do fairly well and I have been doing the UILC Santa for ever. The problem I am having it the event, which is next week is in a week, I am already planning on taking a whole day of that week for medical and retirement counseling and I feel nervous pushing United Way for more time—but I need it. I would feel even more nervous if UW was actually paying me but since I am with the State still I should be OK.



Today is the UW Christmas/holiday party and everyone is off the floor except part-timers and me. Its no big deal but all the full time staff kinda acted like it was with much stealth and cunning and so that might mean something.

Broken Heart

So there I am sitting like a dufuss as Katia sifts through my ever growing medical file and I see her actually blanch as she reads through the material garnered from my four day stay in the hospital last August. She just sort of stared at my chart talking to herself saying something like ‘ I cannot believe I did not see this’. Clearly she is reading something important and I am just sitting there. I sense Dianne is concerned as well but I am oblivious watching the scene unfold, like watching an episode from “Grays Anatomy” except I am one of the actors, guest star, of the week.


I have had a couple of days to ponder and research the world of pericardial cysts, Dianne has been researching as well and on first blush things look better then they sounded but because my pericardial cyst presents with complications everyone seems more concerned than I would like. I am trying to compartmentalize the issue and stash it away in its little place until the issue needs closer scrutiny or action. But, still, this pericardial cyst is new territory something really pushing on my comfort zone and just maybe drop me further into the medical/healthcare system.
So here I sit here, answering phones, and dancing round medical websites on pericardial cysts and how they may influence my life. I am waiting for the doc to call and let me know what the next course of action will be. I kinda hope I don’t hear anything until Monday allowing me to have at least a great weekend.

Comp Socked

Yesterday was the follow up appointment at the  medical center for the time I spent in the hospital over this last August and since I have the “sitting” consult a couple of weeks ago—no big deal right? I cannot say the event was horrible but I can say I came away more displeased then I thought I would be.  I was fortunate in that Dianne was able to attend as my “Medical Advocate” (MA). Dianne is a great MA in that Dianne reads, loves to research and actually do the work to “help” the medical professional provide the best medical service possible.

I love my medical provider—Katia is a European P.A. for an MD who sort of specialized in spinal cord injuries. I rarely see the Doc and mainly just the PA and that is just as well. I can tell she really likes me too but she just won’t let things go. For months if not years she has been trying to get me in a pair of compression socks—my feet tend to retain  water, lots of water, huge puffy blocks at the end of my legs.  Medical professionals  who she my fee for the first time always tend to freak out a little. My feet don’t not hurt or cause discomfort—the feet just look weird and I can live with odd looking feet. Katia always want me to wear the damn compression sock.

Compression socks are socks which are super tight and go all the way up to the knees and pushes the water  and blood back up out of the legs and back into the circulatory system. Everyone except me thinks that is important. Each appointment when the subject of compression socks  would come up, I would look at her pathetically and shake my head that I would not be interested and usually be on my way but not yesterday. One of the main issues I have with comp socks is that are so elastic and tight I do not have the hand function to get the socks on or off independently. So once the socks are on they will stay on until I can find someone to take them off  and since I love to go naked, any chance I chance  the comps will totally limit my ability to be free. Usually I can passive aggress my  way out of these tight situations; I would just not buy the items and be done with it till my next appointment.  Not yesterday, before I could protest she had a package of brand new socks ripped open and had her nurse and Dianne wrestling the tight fitting garments on to my feet. I don’t think there is one thing which makes one feel older then compression socks!!

I have flesh colored compression socks on, I really don’t feel that different yet but I slept in the socks all night long and actually my legs have felt a bit better this morning and I am wondering just wondering : is this another example of me fighting the system, like the catheters, that after I started using them I felt so much better.

I feel I am just loosing so much control over my life and then my PA dropped the bomb, she mentioned she had not noticed a paragraph on my chart which indicated that I have a pericardial cyst –I visibly saw Katia turn white which gave me pause and that is another story.

Some One make me write Please!!

I have done it again, lets a week go by with out any entry to the blog, without any good reason I guess except just laziness. Long days of getting up late and working on the “net”, reading and trying to be artful—with ink and charcoal, video and image—I really like the image development . I did actually get dressed and DD drove me round to the art store, liquor store and regular market. I got a lot of items I had been wanting and thinking I needed for months. I really want to do some drawing and other imaging the next couple of weeks.



So one major out of the way and one more and then the end of the year then just a few short days before I shall actually retire and that is just weird. I really have to start thinking about what I am going to do when I am set free—so much to think about. Really, I just hope I will be able to enjoy the time—any time I have left.

Thanksgiving Week

Blog--November 18, 2012 Sunday

It's Sunday night, and I am preparing to go back to work tomorrow. It's a short week, it's Thanksgiving week so three days of work the holiday and then Friday which is a day of work but not really. I'm sure the calls will be coming in and the calls will be desperate as the calls always seemed to be when calling 211 – – the last vessel of hope for many of these folks. But still I'm sure most of the plate administrative team will be out on holiday so even with the grim calls I'm sure there'll be the day will still be a lite day and then the weekend.

Spent the day, naked working on the house, washing dishes messing around the computer room and washing the shower door in the bathroom. The shower door also acts as a full-length mirror and has gotten pretty spotted and dirty with the splashing water over the last year or so and I've had a mind to take some windex to it for some time. I got to the job today I did the best job I could for this late today but I'm pretty tired and just give it the once over. I also swept out the bathroom and I want to get to somehow scrubbing the floor shortly but probably not today. I have the pleasure of knowing the door looks better than it did.

DD is prepping for colonoscopy I do not envy her but has to be done. I've done it twice now and on both I have been lucky nothing has turned up that should not of been there. I hope and pray DD is as lucky as me. Bridget, lovely Bridget, will be taking her mom back and forth from the procedure tomorrow. It is really nice to have family around to help out on these kinds of things. Bridget and Gabe have been bringing dinner over the past couple weekends that is nice. Many times the meals are not what we would've eaten that still the food has been good filled with protein and love. I am wondering as Dianne I age if this is how things will go more and more support from the kids. I don't know if it's the way it's supposed to be that somehow feels right. Family, near and far, taking care of each other the best they can.

So pending on the immediate outcome of the colonoscopy and our energy levels we will get the bird out of the freezer start defrosting. I have not heard of any major get-togethers for the holiday which is okay. If nothing else Dianne and I both have the perfect little Thanksgiving dinner and if we have others all the better. But as of yet, nothing is planned. It's Thanksgiving week the rain fell today the temperatures have risen and the snow that fell last week is gone. Life goes on and tomorrow I know there will be call after call after call looking for the free Thanksgiving basket which includes all the fixings for a perfect American Thanksgiving dinner.

Friday Afternoon

The real question is: is  this position I inhabit here at the 211 space really a position I would take if I had to take the job as a real position. It’s really a question I have been wrestling with—I have to watch how I verbalize about the parent organization, after all I am a guest here at 211and I truly need to be here until February. We lost a long time staff member last week, we are still not sure what happened, all I know is that she was basically walked her out of the building.  Pretty spooky stuff for a small I+R call center.  Her postion opened up today but I don't think any current staff are very interested in the position, one maybe andf I think this person would be a good fit.she has to pray about it. I coud say a lot more but I won't...

Half-Day

Half day today, I am up to the U co a seating consult with my P.T. at lunch for the rest of the day. I am on the bus riding the system and hopefully enjoying the day and hopefully the chair will respond OK--New batteries which is cool but the batteries still don't hold a charge worth crap, so I am sitting here charging getting ready the trip at lunch time.

Ready to Go...

The cold is back I am up dressed and out in public once again and found my first dip into the winter reality I now indure kind of and exciting--the snow fell all weekend but accessing transit was not too bad this morning just a lot of snot snow. snot snow is ice formed as the snow melted and then refroze into rigid ruts of hard surface.  I roll mainly in the street anyway and the streets are gennerally clear of snow following th first day--I have my new batteries and new tires and I am just fine. Gloves, coat and hat and I ready to go...

Cold!!!

I Didn't Do It

I have blogged a little bit about how I tend to be Mr Distructo—seems everything I touch seems to break—maybe not immediately but sooner or later. I have been somewhat challenged to accept this truth about myself but the truth is I am a destroyer. I don’t know how far or deep this personality flaw of mine extends. I am a bit frightened to explore this I don’t know if I could bare what I might find.

I continue to wait for the latest part for my wheelchair to arrive. I have been limping round for a couple of weeks not with one peddle and I must admit I have been getting round better than I had anticipated I would. I am experiencing a little discomfort but all in all I am OK. Yesterday when I went to my 1030 bathroom break I put the seat to the commode down—do really force full and I was shocked when half of the seat broke off. Now, I know I did not do this—I really don’t know how this could have happened to break like the seat did—true I touched the seat last—or was I set up?? Get out there and vote

Monday and I Am Pathetic

I am so pathetic to have written so little by this time of the month, no excuse except too much wine and friends over the weekend--Thank you Sandy and Nuchine( I am sure that is wrong and i shall correct later) for stopping by and taking us to dinner and wine--we have missed you so much and was so  good to see and visit, cannot wait till December.

All is well, no traumas, health issues major problems--first group of monthly letters out a few to go but it is Mondy and I feel fine.

One More Post

There is just too much life right now--which is good, I am just having time to write which is bad. I just wanted atleast one more post for October.

Getting back in the game!

Looking down on the new cushion and armrests of the refurbished power chair.

I am up! In fact that been up most of the day since rising this morning at about 10:30 AM. I'm actually trying to a crease my ability to be up since I'm trying to get back to work this coming Monday morning. I didn't go back to work last Thursday obviously, Dianne and myself did not think my skin ready yet. I'm a little bit concerned about how slow this healing process has been and I must point out how much Dianne's positive attitude has been to be during this healing process. I freely admit I've been close to throwing in the towel--I just don't see my physical well-being been that much better in the coming weeks and months years. I hope I way off on this and that all medical attention I've drained off system last few weeks will make the difference into my ability to work till February and my retirement. But I have found out in this amount of time I've been off work I'm ready for retirement I don't need the guilt of work anymore or should I say the guilt of not being work anymore. I mean given the opportunity I would not return to work now even if my butt heels of hundred percent. I know that's extremely shallow but it's true.

So I've been in bed almost the entirety of the last 10 to 14 days it's been hard but I keep to myself extended time down will be more than worth it with the ability to be up and ability to work in the coming weeks and months. I don't think I would've made the laying ordeal nearly as well as I did if not for my tablet and technology and access to the Internet made the days of bed rest bare-able. I think being able to connect hourly with Facebook or twitter allowed me to survive. I'm still a little worried as to the durability of my butt but as things would have it the insurance went for the rehabbing of my wheelchair particularly with the new cushion. The cushion looks pretty good except it's huge, sitting very high in the chair. I know this is how it has to be but I'm really concerned of my ability to be able to transfer up to this new cushion. I think, I will be able to make the lift eventually, but it will take some time I believe in getting to that point.

Tomorrow I will actually get dressed and try to figure out how to mount the new cushion. I'm hoping the cushion is so good that my butt healing process might even continue even while sitting in the chair at work. I don't know if I want to play the card of been so fragile that I have to leave work early in the day to get home get off my ass but maybe if things seem rough getting back into the swing of everything.

Not to be too cheeky but seems like I might be getting back in the game sure hope so because I'm feeling the game getting back in me.

A Gift

 

 

 

 

It is Sunday afternoon a little after one o'clock and it's about time you go back down to my bed for another day of healing by staying off my butt, almost all week now I've been on bed rest for more to the point butt rest. I know it sounds quaint but this is one of the most difficult things I've had to do in quite a while. I know, I should be thankful, that I can resolve this issue, this medical issue of butt cellulitis I just stayed in bed--for however long it takes. I mean no surgery, little hospital time not bad, enough annual and sick leave to cover whatever you need. I really am blessed I should act more thankful for dodging a major bullet as I did but still there is a part of me that sees the days outside my window, even the rainy cold days and am resentful have spent a major portion of this beautiful autumn, down in bed quietly listening clock tick tock the day away. I really feel this sick time has been good for me. I am doing a little life valuation and realize I may have just come to a fork in the road and made a decision to live. Now, I just have to figure out how to live under a new regime of physical conditioning or lack of physical positioning. Trite as it may sound, I have been given the gift I just need to figure out how to best use this gift.

It's Sunday afternoon and I must return to the bed shortly for quiet sunny Sunday afternoon of reading and napping and fighting to keep my spirits up. I'm being such a boob I really damn lucky.

This last week has been a spooky, spooky ride--the whole thing from how fast the cellulitis developed to being hospitalized, to be an inpatient at University Hospital. But what was really spooky to me was how severe my illness became and how quick and how relatively okay I felt during this whole process. This event is really frightening me I'm still sifting through a lot of what happened, and what really happen happen the way that it happened. I came away from that institution, quite frankly, frightened of not one particular area of the whole complex after-hours during the darkness something malignant moves at the University hospital. I would never have believed it had I not experienced it firsthand. Interestingly enough I've heard this before, not necessarily the specific words, from other folks with spinal cord injuries that I work with in the past. They hated the place, and I couldn't figure out why now I know. The whole place is Stephen King novel wait to be written.

Early this week, meet appointment with my practitioner under the direction of the docs that looked over me during my days in the hospital. I really thought Katia would send me back to the job: wrong! In fact my practitioner sent to me to 10 more days in bed on believable. So on the way back to bed after being up for bit be down for the rest of the day. I really try to be compliant it's really hard on me but there I go.

OH. Before I forget the image I have chosen for this post is an image Dianne took of me in the emergency room. Literally seconds before this picture was taken my blood pressure was great as having no problems then all the sudden I spiked a monstrous blood-pressure--I didn't feel bad I would have known if it happened than not that either the time, naked and Diane witnessing the red bloom exploding on my chest. I look a lot worse in this image then I really felt but it sure was an eye-opener to me that something was happening that I should take very seriously.

Code!!!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjzY2UvyztI&feature=g-upl

 

The Amazing Gamma Rays with Kerry the head free radical

So much has happened since I last posted , where to begin actually, forgot that I did a mini post at some point during the hospital experience because I did not want to get too far behind and I feel folks out there wanted to know my disposition.

So it all began last Friday night, not this Friday night but the Friday night before, DD and I have been out, to concert of sorts, of an old band he used to support: the Gamma Rays. It was a great evening but not quite what we expected, somewhat disheartening but still not that--I think I read a post regarding that evening very soon that evening deserves posting. But on the return home and getting ready for bed DeeDee on checking my rear end noticed a raised hard lump. The lump was not there the night before so there was some concern. So, I knew this would be another lost weekend and I would be in bed until next Monday in hopes that my butt would refresh the hard nasty tissue turned something. So the following Saturday was spent in bed and the lump grew and DeeDee and I both became concerned and when Sunday morning came and I was no better not worse we decided to drop in to the local InstaCare and have them lance the artifact. So the concern worsened when the medic at the doc in the box wouldn't even touch me. He directed me posthaste the University hospital where" they can handle this that's what they are there for." So, we trundled up to the University on a perfect fall after.

Actually, the emergency room went swiftly but to my surprise they did not lance my bottom but admitted my butt. It seemed like I had a major cellulitis, was running a fever blood pressure was up and I was kind of in the danger. All the above I did not want to hear a perfect fall afternoon. Thankfully DD was at my side the entire time acted as my advocate when I really needed one worship me to act the my own but I didn't either way we working as a team. Now of course I was admitted to Medicine, where they did okay stuff all the right stuff for sick able-bodied person like I got the oppression the you know what or how to deal with the guy wheelchair specifically quad. But, we muddled through and they began to administer bag after bag after bag of antibiotics liquid death from above work organisms inside. Each bag took about seven hours drift through due to the intensity of antibiotics death they said they learned to do this is when group quicker the veins burned, literally! Add on to this, every much into turning me every two hours which is the old hospital joke" wake patient and see if he's tired?" I thought the attorney was an issue of pressure release but it was explained to me that the turning also My blood next up so clots would have a more difficult for me--great to know. So, I saw Sunday night dawn into Monday morning and experienced appraiser professionals like I've never seen. It seemed like every hour a new professional would walking, introduce themselves, asked essentially the same questions as the ones for. They were all kids--I know this is a learning hospital but still--the docks from medicine, folks from rehab, folks from OT, social work and on and on and on. Since my name begins with S that means my food delivered and" S" time meaning cold food that should be hot, bread that has gone to crust everything seems to be tasteless. Granted that may have been me and my taste buds loaded with antibiotic.

Monday night drifted into Tuesday morning on a river of death. It seems one of my nurses whom I shall call Nurse Mengele was skilled at lethal one-liners set to kill any conversation. Nurse Mengele was dark foreboding and work the night shift--night shift itself spooky especially in hospital the size of the University medical center. DeeDee and I fulfilled menacing nature of Nurse Mangele which we did not even share each other till the following day in the darkness I was terrified. I kind of still think I should be looking over my shoulder. Tuesday was filled with more drip antibiotics the hordes of medicine. However seem to be responding and seemed might be able to leave the following day Wednesday. That sometime during the afternoon Surgery showed up-- clearly the house superstars referred to as Seinfeld  and Costanza hemmed and Hawed through me on my side, poked and decided, bedside surgery, this point nothing seems to phase me I just said sure go for it and they did. Now this" surgery " was nothing more than lancing the mass to see if there were any pockets of fluids drained. Now since my arrival to the hospital I had been spiking temperatures some as high as 104° and the word from the docs and the surgeons was that if I could go 24 hours without a temperature above normal I could go home I had a goal.

I was sure by the time you suffer through another night on the Dark Ward that I had done my tenants and penance and I would be let go. The surgeons were in bright and early Wednesday morning and said look good so will keep the another day just to be sure, just to be sure. I felt" okay" have done this much why not another day. Half an hour later the medicine docs came and said I could go home I had ~what surgery said clearly medicine did not like that but surgery rules..DeeDee went home to shower and take a fast nap. How she was gone, the comedy team surgery: Seinfeld and Constanza waltzed back in my room and said I could go home--I was delighted. I was released with a bag full, a brown paper bag full, of oral drugs equivalent to what they've been dreaming in my arms for the past couple days. I was to keep on this regimen for the next couple of days or weeks whatever I was gone.

It was kind of weird as soon as the decision has been made that I was leaving, no more room interruptions from anybody medical which is all right by me. Dianne needed sleep so I hung around till fourish escaped together. Home, home, home.

Now, I am surprised that I definitely feel something dark lurks at University medical center a stigma as dark and foreboding as any Stephen King novel. I don't want to go back not even to rehab but I'm going have to that's where my insurance tells me to go. I think if I go during the light I'll be okay. Good to be home with Dianne, I seem to be getting better more so that I am anticipating returning to work tomorrow--shall see. This is a capsule of what happened on my hospitalization I'm sure I'll discuss things deeper in the near future is one to get this much out thank you all for being so patient.

Seriously, I have been the hospital sincs Sunday night, where we ended up after going to the local doc in a box and they would not touch  me,saying i needed some where to be if things got serious,guess what? Things got serious. I developed a cellulitus on my right hip--not good if you spend a major part of your day sitting up on butt.

In fact a covy of surgeons just left

 my bedside wherre they did a little work lancing the wound,a bit painful but not bad.

Doughnut Run

I got popped for "J-rolling " on my way in to work this morning--Its nearly dark now as I roll from my downtown station into my building. The temperature is not bad, brisk buit not the biting cold I know is coming. I get off my train at Gallivin Place about 7:05 and roll East to my building at 257 East 200 South. The traffic is lite at this time of the morning and I really do not pay much attention to traffic lights except when it is obvious that traffic is an issue and a theat.

Many times as I head East ward I just check for traffic and bolt across the street. I bolted this morning as I do many times—but this time I was in from of the major downtown Cop shop. I really should know better . I figured the local brothers in blue would have better things to do then pull over, adorable senior citizens, speeding on to work. Wrong! I had just come off the crown of the street and had access the side walk and I noticed red and blue lights from behind. I did not hear a siren though which I thought was weird, maybe it was a fire engine or something m running” lights and no siren” imagine my shock when I realized the lights were for ME?!!

I turned toward the lights and the cop motioned for me to stop—which I of course did and he proceeded to give me a stern “talking to” about the dangers of crossing the streets against the lights—I think the officer even used the term “J-walking” I did not correct him. I just nodded my head and tried to look concerned like one of those “bobble “ head characters over seen in the back of cars. I remember the cop being bald headed, I may have seen him on the 9-o-clock new—he is a minor SLC celeb—driving a small SLPD pick-up. I just remember seeing the red and blue and remembering other times I have been pulled over—years ago.


I am fortunate the officer did not cite me—he could have and would have been a hundred percent correct—I mean there was no traffic at all I knew what I was doing—His argument was that what I was doing was one 1-illeagle and 2- he had had cleaned up the mess of two other crips this year, who were hit when the wheelchair users were in the street illegally and he did not want to have to clean me off the street. I smiled and agreed to what ever the cop said this interview had grown old and I was feeling a bit chagrinned and I wanted to get on to work. He let me go with a warning and I appreciated that but maybe he should HAVE cited me and taught me a real lesson—I doubt a citation would have made a difference except giving me something else to write about but I did re think responsibility to law…at least in front of a cop shop.

Angel Tree Day 2

We have started setting appointments for Angel Tree and there is no  time to write like I would like to so until the Christmas campaign is over I think the post will be minimal—sorry there is just no time. Angel Tree is a bit of a night mirror but this is only the beginning of the second day. The calls are mostly Hispanic meaning we wait a great deal for the Spanish  speaking operators  to take the calls—and then there is the new policy of if the caller has participated in years past they will not be eligible this year—this is difficult most of the time the rage bomb can be diffused by directing caller to Toys for Tots (TFTS )but this does not work all the time but so  far the rage has been better than I had anticipated. What is really weird we are taking few of the regular calls i.e., food, utilities and housing…these folks must  still be out there but are being edged out by the Christmas deluge.

So its day two, I am damp to wet and the day is going to be long, I can tell but this I only for a week, I can do this for a week, I really can.

Lost shoe on the showroom floor

Struggling to stay in recliner



 

 

I don't know why I wait so long that I do, my waiting to do some work before my passive aggression, and have been told by more than one source, one good source that I tend to be a little passive aggressive. Anyway, I finally decided to start making changes to my power chair, changes it really need to be made before the snow flies and I started out with replacing my slick, warm, drive wheels with the puncture proof inserts, to be done this past Friday. Now, in order to do this I've first must request and then have that request approved for the off time from my job. I chose Friday just because it was Friday but I also chose Friday because Friday's tend to be a light phone day at 211. I thought this may be some more noble and increase the probability of getting the time off.

I have found that requesting time or anything special is a process kitchen the basis. I don't think they care whether they're not frankly as long as I go through the process e-mail the super and add the approved time on the all staff calendar. Now, that I've learned to do this not just: last moment that I'm ill be off that day things seem to be going pretty well. I got the time off – – I asked for two hours first thing in the morning knowing that the procedure will probably take double that time. I was a little nervous about my new provider. This will be my first time in going to the provider for some real work on my chair. So with a little excitement, and trepidation, the coffee closed my usual time on Friday morning. I don't know what I was thinking because my regular time would actually get me to my destination about an hour and a half before the operation actually open for business. So, I was kind of review a coffee shop or something nearby as hang out ideally with Wi-Fi connection but no way my providers right in the middle of an industrial section South Salt Lake and so I had my tablet in my chair to occupy myself till staff showed up. The morning was warm more or less, clear with the smoky haze, I cruise the neighborhood a little looking your document try not to be too obvious that I was casing the joint.

The provider open the doors at 8:30 AM it was interesting watching staff coming to work. I was sort of blown away at the amount staff my new provider has. Let me in a little after 8 AM because I think they're a little worried about me just hanging around out front. Those a little concerned that is a new client does have start from ground zero provided everything, identification they wanted the information on my chair purchase date and history I can get it – – but most importantly they wanted my insurance card and provider information, which is cool, but I knew my provider was not going to pay for any of this work I need done Friday so I could not see the great necessity for having all that information today, and getting on with the work. It was only after I assured the representative that no this would not be insurance claim but that I was prepared to pay for the work done, today.

Of course, I sit right above the drive wheels which need to be changed out so I knew I would have to transfer from my chair which I hate to do any kind of public place because of my chair I look like such a worm! They have warned me this would be the case that I would have to vacate my power chair and would I be able to transfer by myself because they couldn't help me – –HIPPA you know. Now I have to admit to some satisfaction that sense many of the durable medical joints have started selling the standing chairs transferring at my old age has become less intimidating. Still, out of my chair I am a worm. I am just glad that my pants remain on more or less during my transfer. There have been times when I have not been so fortunate. Yeah, so there I was in the recliner and I picked a recliner with the fabric that I hoped was just rough enough to prevent me from sliding out. But once I got in the chair I was okay more or less provided you do anything stupid like start a spasm storm. I had worn the shirt long enough that even though my pants did significantly slip I was relatively modest. I have been thinking about this a lot since the event what if they have a special room where you can dismount your chair and lay there like a grub with some relative privacy? I was laying or" sitting" right from the whole store – – I mean people who walk in front of me to get to the cash register for service area.

Well needless to say I got the job done cost 250 bucks that always hurts but thankfully for minimal savings and control credit I got new tires. Now, I have to look the batteries which I'm shooting for next month this time the bite will be for 500 smackaroos.!!!

Good Bye FBI

Its one thing to know you work in the same building which houses offices of the FBI and quite another to know, I mean really, know he FBI is in your building.  Monday had been  regular Monday, in to the office do the time and out. I mean I leave or quit work at 4:30 on the spot, and leave the building as quick as possible in an effort to make my trains and get home. Monday night was no different but I was shocked when I got home and Dianne and asked how I was and did I see anything. I did not know what she was talking bout but we flipped on the new and there was my building surrounded by cop cars and guys in flak jackets. There was an incident up on the 13^th floor the FBI floor—see attached article.

Knife-wielding man arrested at FBI offices in Salt Lake City

By erin alberty

| The Salt Lake Tribune

First Published Sep 17 2012 06:21 pm • Last Updated Sep 18 2012 09:10 am

An apparent hostage situation that started Monday afternoon at a Salt Lake City building — where the FBI has its offices — ended when federal agents confronted the knife-wielding man, who was taken into custody by police.

The knife-wielder took a man who works in the building against his will into an elevator on the 6th floor of the 257 Tower Building at 257 E. 200 South, at about 4:40 p.m., according to police.

The suspect, a man in his 40s, held the victim at knifepoint and told him it was a "hostage situation," police wrote in jail booking documents.

A witness called 911 to report the attack, said Salt Lake City police Lt. Josh Scharman.

The suspect and victim went to the 12th floor, which is the lobby for the FBI offices.

There, agents confronted the man, who did not resist arrest, police said.

The 911 caller indicated the suspect had a gun, but officers found he was carrying only the knife, along with a plastic shopping bag that contained clothing.

Scharman said the situation was over in minutes. No one was injured.

The suspect was booked into jail on suspicion of aggravated kidnapping

I had not thought too much about the security—or rather lack of security in our building. I mean I wondered  all over the building the first couple of weeks I was here—I ran into locked doors and Matrix halls but that was all. I never thought about a guard being in or NOT being in the lobby, until Monday. I started thinking my not—I have worked in buildings with less importance of a Federal office such as the FBI and these buildings had all kinds of security—some even back pack checks—but not here. It seemed if a crazy can get up to 13 with a knife it would be just as easy for  super crazy to get as far with a pound of C-4. Wow.

Two FBI guys took the aggressor down, almost comically but what of the next tome a knifer, shooter or boomer strike out at Bureau? The FBI is slated to vacate this property in a year or so and move into their new building out by the airport. When I first heard this I was bummed a little bit missing the Bureau already like a long friend but this week and a little more thought, its best to just wave this friend good bye

Green and Things

We did it we socialized a little over the weekend which is a big deal for us—it is so easy to get into the habit of living behind the front door. We tend to do that, leave the door locked watch recorded movies programs, read and lay round in bed ( which is what I did all day Sunday). But on Friday’s staff meeting breakfast by good friend Amy invited me over to pick up some vegetables from her garden. We had spoken of this earlier in the Summer but we never made it over to collect the produce.


I wished I had taken some images of Amy and Linda’s back yard garden, it I beautiful and surprisingly large for inner city garden. Their garden looks like one of those photo shoots from Mother Earth News or Ortho grow. The have everything there one could want: tomatoes, all kinds of peppers and egg plant galore, Squash of course and who knows what else is out there. The garden is looked after by two aging dogs who love to limp through the vegetation and bask in the sun and wait. The garden is a spot where people are drawn to each other and communication just seems to happen. I was really hoping to get in and out and on with my day but it seemed the right thing to do to down load and wander the garden.

Their home is definitely inner city, salt Lake, old streets narrow and accessibly challenging. There are paths which wander to back yard but very narrow way to narrow for me to consider in my power chair but the ladies directed us to the back alley and sure enough we were able access the back yard garden just fine, after some creative, immediate ramp building. I have to admit to being impressed at how much of the property was reachable by my chair. The growing area was beautifully serene and a model for what DD and I would love to have in our backyard. It has taken Linda and Amy years to get their garden to this state and many start and re starts to get the garden to what it is now. We have the time—I hope—and I hope the well.

I Love Fridays

It's Friday and love Fridays. I know this sounds trite but it's true. Your just something about the feel a Friday, after you've worked all week that says it's time for today arrest it's time for something different. Even though don't even a rough week, like this week has been for me, I wake up and I feel today and I know today is Friday and I know it's just gonna be a good day. This is of course the end if the 13th or 14th week and the new position at 211 and half the Biltmore globally united Way. Yesterday, was 1 other major annually events: capital Day of Caring.

 

 Day of Caring, event which  engulf  the whole city it is a major event that targets low income folks and private number of it into these that need a little systems or sprucing up of their living environments.   Donated staff from major corporations all don identical t shirts and do manual labor 4 to 6 hours and all the time chaperoned bye staff making sure photo ops are harvested and by lines developed. There's usually morning breakfast get some service told lunch offers the capitalist participants but a good feeling prevails over everything. I have to admit they've done some good work for the years . I just I'm still amazed at the amount of energy wrapping up to this event took.

Everyday for the past couple of weeks there has been emails and memos covering Everett5from t shirts to transportation. The staff are all young idealists growing older with each new event. I was not sure how I was to fit in with the Day of caring event. There was mostly physical stuff which needed be done and I would more in the way then help. Perhaps if my batteries were in better shape I could have helped transport boxes or something but I would have spent most of my time on the charger. I did elect to assist with the wrap up party at the end of the day. I did not know what I could contribute but I could be a team player and I would be a team player if it killed me.

The day started out with a kick off breakfast, which I have blew off thinking I did not have to be involved until the late afternoon. I did not consider it important to be at and I headed directly into the office as I would any day. I was not prepared to be the only individual at the office telling all the office would be closed due to the event. I went and got ready. I was getting really concerned at 10 minutes to the time when the phones would be turned on and it was only I on the floor. Eight minutes later my supervisor walked in with doughnuts, rolls and other lite breakfast stuff. The rest of the call staff wondered in the next hour.  The calls were heavier than I expected for a Thursday, especially disability line, where callers leave a number and expect me to get back with them. I found out later my attendance at the wrap party was not essential and I elected to say in the office and return calls which I did for the remainder of the day. I missed the Rah,Rah of the summer or fall  and I am OK with that I hope they are OK with me.

I am always the most tired on Wednesdays, Wednesdays is the toughest day of the week for me. If I can get through to Thursday I receive a new energy which floats me to Friday and the weekend. But not today, I have an oweee in my left eye, by left buttock hurts and I am very sleepy. I am pacing myself though and I bet I get through the whole day—it’s a just a taxing experience. I don’t know if it is just me in my current state of mind but the calls seem more aggressive than usual. Today I swear I have got one soccer mom after another wanting Christmas information i.e.”angel tree” “Toys for Snots” etc and you inform your caller that program has not started yet and you cannot take their phone number to call when it is they get explosive and hangs up. The hang ups are the worse, the caller drops the bomb then exits stage left. You are left there hanging feeling like a fool.


I don’t seem to get any worse as the day drags by and by later in the afternoon I feel little more energy and I feel I may just make it. So I know this post is short but you know what I’m just burnt…maybe tomorrow---stay tuned.

Just Push It!

I realized in terror this morning as I was about ready to mount my powerchair that the chair had not actually been plugged in all weekend and there was only at 56% charge, not nearly enough power to get me into the office—this is weird since I thought I had the chair plugged in all weekend and the lights looked as if they were charging but obviously not. Fortunately I was up In time and I replugged the chair and it started charging and then I leaned back and let the chair charge. I was going to have to miss my regular bus to let my chair charge for an extra 30-45 minutes. I was hoping this would be enough to get me into work. I tipped my chair back and waited and charged and charged and waited.


You know there is nothing so slow as watching a battery being charged—as you may know I have to charge my batteries every morning once I get to work but usually I am busy answering the phones and I don’t notice the charge time as when there is nothing else to do but wait and hope I will be able replace enough charge to get me to my next point of power access. Now, granted, I acknowledge I have been dragging my feet as to getting a new set of batteries, which I would/well greatly reduce this power terror I find myself more and more frequently.

The bus I take into the train station come on the half and hour and I felt I was going to charge s well as I could by the time I had to leave to get me to the train which would get be into the call center by the time my shift starts. So, when I started out my charge indicator shown, but I knew this was mostly ‘surface charge’. “ surface charge” is a lite charge not deep for long distance travel. By the time I got to the bus stop I was 71 percent and the time I got off the train, downtown I was at 43 percent. I zipped straight into work and by the time I got to driveway down I was thirty percent not in the red zone yet but I was getting close but I knew I was OK by the driveway, it was all downhill from there. When I was with in a block or two of my building I knew I was safe because if I did lose power I knew I could call someone from United Way and they would actually come and push me the rest of the way in to my charger at my desk…I did it though. I made it all the way in without having to ask for assistance but the time has come I had better serious consider taking the time and getting new cores and stop doing this silly Seinfeld skit of seeing just how far I can push my charges.

Access

I wish I had captured an image of my Starbucks this morning.  I have a Starbuck adjacent to my bus stop so I have to admit I have been stopping at Starbucks more then I should this last year. I cannot justify my spending there it is just something I do-I may have gotten into  the habit during the cold weather , darting I to the coffee shop to get out of the morning’s cold. I purchase a drink then as kind of an offering or admission to the warmth. Then my “gold card” arrived in the mail making me something real special—or so the whole marketing plan is I am sure—well, it worked. I dumped money into the card and purchase a morning beverage often.

This morning when I got the bus stop  and Starbucks the access ramp to the building was gone and the whole area was yellow taped off, there was definite construction going on. The building was off limits to me and this was cool.  I did however, look kind of pathetic I am sure sitting in front like a PSA for access. I should have a tear running down my face like that grand old Indian in the PSA about litter in America.

Actually I don’t think I was all that upset with the access issue, I skipped yesterday-un related reason—I would survive today and I am sure they will have a bigger and better ramp installed over the weekend.  But, now my fellow coffee buds, folks who get their daily fixes every morning the same time I do started arriving.  These good folks started getting upset. I shrugged it off but they insisted on at least  having ordering my drink then they would pick it up  and bring it out. Sure why not so I ordered my latte—Friday latte.

I have gotten into the habit of ordering my drink, stuffing the drink into my backpack and heading into work. The bus and train ride or so rough I rarely even taste my beverage until I get to the office and to my computer.  I did taste my beverage as I waited for the bus and realized this was not what I ordered—this was coffee not latte as I had wished.  When my drink arrived I tried to pay but I could not get anyone to carry my card in so I got the drink gratis which makes it hard to complain.  I am sure there may have been some guilt associated with the free drink as well due to the access question. I missed my latte I must admit—today I wanted something more than coffee but hey it was a large ad it was free. Beggars cannot be choosers and you get what you pay for.

Turn The Page

The page has turned and I have a new month to fill with blogs of my life and things let’s hope I do better than I did last month. I don’t know why I have become so slothful but I have and this must change, a writer writes, and its not like I have not had a vein of inspiration to mine—older sisters provided a surprise visit which resulted in a dinner with the fam and the construction on my building continues—which is pretty much my fault and I am yet another month closer to retirement, so I have stuff to write about. I just need to sit down and make the effort.


With the arrival of September the temperatures have dropped, the night have cooled significantly an mornings traveling to work I am thinking I need to drag out the hoodie for warming comfort. The days still get warm to hot but seems to be a different even then the heat is not the same….my theory is the shifting of the Earth on its axis has something to do with the change and everything. The work on the building continues, the construction of the front of the building has commenced and a major piece of concrete has to be demolished from the front of the building meaning the use of jack hammers and other hydraulics needed for such a challenge which means a great deal of noise too. So much noise that a couple of days in August it was near impossible to carry out conversations on the phone. You all remember this building does not have proper, legal access to people with disabilities i.e. me so in effect the work is being done for me. Actually, I do not think most of my staff has reasoned this through as yet or the staff is just too nice to say anything about the inconvenience being my fault and of course this all should have been long before 211 or I every arrived on scene. This week begins the third week of construction and we should have been past most of the loud construction by now but they, the workers have run into a problem and it should be a couple weeks longer. I am currently having to access my building via the under the building parking ramp the ramp is steep. I would never be able to push this ramp in a manual chair but have no issues in my powerchair—this entry might be a bit dangerous come winter but, not now if I keep my eyes open.

There are other issues of access which must be considered in this building, the most important to me is the restrooms, yes, bathrooms. In the main area there is no way I can get my chair close enough to transfer and the bathroom which is larger the commode is way low making getting off and on problematic if not impossible. So, far the one time I have used it I succeeded but just barely. I just want to finish out my work history and get to my next life…