Floor 13

I volunteer/work usually when one day a week, sometimes more, at 211 in Salt Lake City. Now, 211 is part of United Way of greater Salt Lake which is cool ( is going to be a whole blog posting on United Way and 211). United Way of the greater Salt Lake area is located in building called 257 because is located at 257 East and second South and Salt Lake. The building is small by skyscraper standards but in the Cowtown Salt Lake where there are larger buildings or taller buildings 257 stands out on the city's young skyline particularly on Eastside where tall buildings have been kept at a minimum, which I'm sure is an interest in story/posting all by itself. Anyway, 257 has 13 floors.

When I came on board 211 the Federal Bureau of Investigation , FBI, had the complete 13^th floor. I believe I've actually written a little about this in a previous blog. I love the fact that I worked in the same building as the FBI. The FBI goons were ghosts, they must've had their own parking level and entryways because you hardly ever saw round building. Every once in a while you would see I spook and know it was a spook but for the most part you knew they were therev but you never saw them. Shortly after I went to work at 211 I actually took the elevator up there. It was pretty secure and you could not get past plateglass window and really had have good reason to be there there was a note that said so on the front door. So I was dismayed when I learned the FBI was leaving the building and moving on to West Valley. Somehow made sense but still I knew I would miss the fact that I worked in the same building as federal agents.

Late winter or early spring, the Bureau packed their bags and left. I gave them a week then started going up there to the 13^th floor when I would get to work and see what was going on. It was amazing to look to me like a large part of the 13^th floor had been a storage area for data, it was some sort of new cyber form racks and racks and racks of of railing which hosted computer servers. Wow! The next week I went out and everything was gone, totally gone like a movie: one day there the next day gone. I was intrigued with the size of the 13^th floor, just how much space the agency used. I started going up usually at least one day a week and rolling around 13^th floor looking down on Salt Lake City it was pretty cool.

I was amazed when speaking to other folks at 211 or United Way, over lunch, just how many people had never gone to the 13^th floor. People just don't do this, go out of their way to explore their own environment. This is sad. I mean the 13^th floor was the expense coming people could actually run the circumference of the floor and have a fairly decent track. I know there's a shower in the building because some people who ride their bikes to work shower before they go to work after arriving in the mornings. So runners could actually really utilize the 13^th floor. I like to view, I like the quiet of the floor and I'm surprised that all the time I've been up there I've never seen another living soul. I've become somewhat of an evangelist trying to get folks to see the 13^th floor before it's gone. One day I know when I hit 13 on the elevator number pad it will be either blocked out our open up to a construction site where floor 13 will be being rebirth into something new and most likely a place where I will not be welcome. But for now I have a secret affair with floor 13 in Building 257

All Grown Up

Last night Dianne and I had an actual date. We actually went out in the evening to a screening of the film I heard promoted earlier in the week on local public access channel, KU ER. It was a documentary titled Room 237 a artsy study of Stanley Kubrick's classic The Shining. Yesterday, was my regular workout day at Wellness so we decided that Dianne would drive into the city and pick me up after my workout and we would find somewhere for dinner. This is a typical of what we've been sort of locked into and I have to admit I was excited to get out and play the cool scene for a bit. I was a bit tired even though I had a light workout. I had sort of overexert at myself day before and I was still paying the price. I was also a little concerned that I would be so tired by that point in the day to sleep through the presentation. Fortunately, if that were to happen the loss would be minimal since the price of the movie was free.

We thought it was wise to go directly to the Rose Wagner center, where the movie was being screened, get a parking space and find something downtown for dinner. We ended up settling for Squatters Pub. Squatters is okay, a little trendy but it's a brewpub pretty laid back, lots of T-shirts, tank tops casual dress. A lot of people trying to be seen in just the right settings. Squatters food is okay, I had the Alaskan halibut dinner is pretty happy with it, is probably more grace than I needed but this was a night out and it was fun ordering like grown-ups. The biggest reason for the choice of restaurant is that squatters is essentially across the street from the Rose Wagner center..

I guess you'd say” the Rose Wagner” this is a beautiful facility. I've been in a place the number of times and it's nice but a little deceptive. It's one of those places that is 99% successful. It's not apparent what is not accessible to start living in the building. It's a public building and accessible in general but there were no power doors and they're pretty heavy. But for the most part the person wheelchair does pretty good. The wheelchair seating is a little rough: they basically just yanked a seat out so you end up sitting next to your date kind of. The dates on one level you're on another pretty much but I guess it's better than nothing and it could be better but you never think about it tell you there then space and the moment you leave. This what is not acceptable however is the fact the stalls in the men's bathroom atst has some issues. Like most bathroom stalls the door opens in which always drives me crazy. What happened last night was I got into the stall shut the door behind me and pushed the latch shut and did my business. When it was time to leave there was no way I could open the door. There is nothing to hold on to the old door back, which is what you have to do to get out of the stall. I didn't panic which is good but I was a bit frustrated. Luckily, I had my bungee cord was able slighted between the door and the jam turn the bungee cord and yank it towards being with enough force that it did open. This I also tried moving my feet under the door and tells my chair backs of my toes caught the door and then moved the chair back and that open the door as well. Clearly the door is a challenge for anyone with limited hand function. We made notes to that effect on our survey we are going to submit to the Rose Wagner and hopefully someone will do something about it. It's a little thing, more of an annoyance than anything else is just another example that folks with disabilities can never rest, can never let their guards down or they are out in the cold. Now I have to make sure that the Rose Whitener gets my problem letter and then I will have to follow up to make sure they do something about it. It's just a pain in the hands and why do I have to do it, I am sure there are other Crips going to this place all the time while they do it?

This aside from being momentarily trapped in the bathroom be had a great time. Granted it was late by the time the documentary ended and they had open discussion it was time for this geezer to go to bed so we left. But it was fun being out with Dianne,on a summer s night… All grown up.  

Dark Days

I'm not sure what is happening right now I'm feeling anxious, maybe even depressed I am hoping these feelings are situational brought about by what I don't know but I suspect, strongly that my skin is breaking down again which is wearing me down. I just can't seem to get these issues resolved. Cushions, at least the questions I have been trying do not seem to work. Skin breakdown I am anticipating a reoccurring, I suspect in many cases never really quite healing. The site of the irritations are at a place on my right hip that is just too hard to combat but we are combating as well as we can. Dianne.has been doing a heroines job as far as managing the trauma side as well as possible. But I suspect if I continue my lifestyle as is just continue to wear out my butt and I suspect that's what I'm going to have to do. I just feel this might be a major depression generator and I'm not quite sure how to deal with that. I sure as hell don't want to be on some sort of drug regimen but maybe if that's what it takes that's what I have to do.

I mean let me look on the bright side. Right now the wounds are closed they just caution flags. I need to be proactive to be on top of these – – excuse the pun – –. In Dianne's rightwe can heal skin breakdown if need be. We have done before and hopefully we can do it again… If need be. I hate to be so morose but these all seem to be signs of the end of things. You know? “The guy struggled the last of his days trying to get on top of whatever demon or physical challenge he had which eventually took him out.” The silver lining to this great clout is that he had” X” amount of days, months, years or whatever before his eventual end. So I should be happy, I need to look at it this way and get away from this dark and dismal feeling I am experiencing. I don't know if I can do it… Maybe if I get some rest and get some sleep or whatever I can climb out of this hole.

Another option I have refused to consider for a number of reasons is going to Roho cushion, and air support cushion. Perhaps it is now time to consider this option. The cushions I have been using just aren't cutting it and I kind of suspect that the cushion is doing more damage than is helping. I just don't know if I can live on this kind of cushion but I have to give it a shot. Hopefully the right choices will be made and I will be able to continue on with my lifestyle albeit modified.

A change of cushion, less time up in hyper-vigilance of the wound sites and encouraged to do whatever has to be done to continue forward  

Summer Slipping Away

It's Tuesday, Tuesday morning and I'm just about ready to get dressed and head out the door for my Wellness programs-- that project I'm involved in and trying to rebuild my body and gain the muscle, skills and well enjoy the rest of my life. I have become a real believer in the Wellness program. I go three days a week, I'd go more if I thought attending more Wellness sessions would help me become leaner and more able. But, it has been determined that three days is all I need and it sounds okay. Wellness has almost become a full-time occupation with me and at first I thought this was wrong, how can I focus so much time just on myself? As I've written in the past I end up spending about four hours at least going into and coming back from my one-hour wellness session. You know what? That's okay I think I'm worth it-- the time being focused on myself, bettering myself, making myself literally stronger and better able to take care of myself. I have to be careful however, in that I do not become more self absorbed that I actually am lose my focus, my fellow man. I have been a little better this last week and better responding to people around me that might need recognition for myself are more attention than I've been giving people. I have a ways to go before I am Gandhi but every journey starts with a single step. The summer is dwindling I can feel it, perhaps it's the shorter days, or the fact that the heat, the summer heat is changing to fall heat which is altogether different. I mean you may have a day in late August 90° and feels totally different than July 90° weather and I don't know if it's the heat of the day that never really leaves even at night but that the heat lingers all through the day and most of the night. Now when I go to bed in the evening I feel the coolness of the night, the heat of the day has evaporated, and gone away, it's cool and I pulled the covers up around my noseto keep warm slip off into slumber. Unlike the heat of summer that fills the complete darkness of the night and just hangs there forcing me to sleep nude with no covers until the coolness of early morning summer slides in for just a moment for the heat builds in the new day. That's gone now the backbone summer has been broken and fall creeps in on little cat feet. I'm kind of excited about this week. I have agreed to go into 211 this Thursday and Friday morning to cover Gloria's shift since she will be out of town for the wedding. This will give me up and out the last two days the workweek for half a day. This is great getting up early, training and the city, spend a half-day and leaving noonish and having the rest of the day at my disposal. So, I got a go. I've trains to catch people to see and machines to turn today is Wellness and I am indeed, well.

Happy Birthday Big Bro

Today is my brother’s birthday, he is five years older then I am, and I guess he is the closest  to me as a family member—I don’t mean this disparagingly it’s just he is the family member I know best because I grew up with him-Ross was always there, good or bad.  Many times I must admit living with Ross was challenging if not dangerous. I was the little brother and as the little brother I was the target for everything. I was always frightened, it seemed. My brother knew all my buttons and pushed them all especially after dark.  We had bunk beds, he was on the top bunk and I was on the bottom and all he would have to do is ask if I just heard that voice—that is all I needed to set me off for the remainder of the night. Voices, in the dark, in my room from the other side of wall. I was on Ross’s motorcycle when I had my accident, the one which I broke my neck. I doubt he ever really forgave me for that but we got along.  He was out of the city when I cracked up, the reason I was on his cycle. My bike was just too small and I had figured out a way to break into the ignition of his cycle and I was on  my way. Ross served in the Marine Corp during the Viet Nam thing, he saw lots of service, did two tours maybe more and came back to a quiet life, staying beneath the radar, working quietly and being a model  citizen.   Ross hunts, he hunts a lot. He is good at it.  He is s survivor, quiet and steady. I am sure Ross will be around long after every one else has left it’s  just the way it is. Ross is a loner, running silent, running deep and I have to  allow him his freedom to be who he is. I have never professed to understand him and I never well and that is the way it should be. I have been surprised as how sensitive a person my brother is. I think he cries, though I have never seen this—I think he has been hurt deeply, probably by me but I doubt that. I think the damage had been done long before he knew me—so I can forgive, I have to forgive because he had to live with me at the same time I was living with him and I can not throw any stones. Regardless, we survived each other, we are family and I’m glad…happy birthday big bro.

Dylan

Gate to concert

On Thursday we actually went to a concert, more specifically a Bob Dylan concert that was held at the USANA pavilion out and west valley. We have not been to too many concerts and we were not quite sure what to expect. The gates open at 430 and supposedly the concert started at 530. We sure did not want to have to stand a long line so we went pretty early. We got to the concert venue at about 330. Nothing was open the only people there were staff and everything was locked up tight. The day was hot luckily there was significant cloud cover and the winds were breezy which the tolerable.

Finally staff began showing up and a little after 4:30 PM we were granted admission to the park. Of course we could not bring anything into the park foodwise or whenever and everything there was priced out of reality but to pay for what you need. We end up buying one bottle of water and refill the bottle numerous times throughout the concert. Dianne had gotten us the VIP seating and it was great we had a huge space all to ourselves and easy access to the food courts and water fountains. I think if we ever do a another concert we will do VIP seating.

The crowds are pitiful. It's sad when the star performer is in the sunset, relegated to podunk America venues like USANA. The performer must know there's the end of the line, well maybe not at the end: there's always cruises, state and county fairs and birthday parties. I was part of this crowd no kidding, but I was not part of that group who was trying to show the world they're still hip to the jive, it's a sad.

The warm up bands started promptly at 5:30 PM and they played and played and played. The bands were loud, raucous and somewhat entertaining. They were definitely second rate and that is the way it should be, never be better than the starring attraction. We suffer through and finally at 9:45 Bob Dylan took the stage. He was OK but not the Dylan I remember. He played only as new music except for one or two of his old songs and not the ones I want to hear. I cannot fault them answer that I'm sure he wants to feel he's breaking new ground and the music that's not what I really paid for. We got through it the last the venue about 11:30 PM a long day and long night. We had a good time Dianne and myself, out all by ourselves at a rock concert in podunk Utah. 

Lazy Saturday

Stayed up too late last night watching redbox movies--now have to get dressed and return DVDs to kiosk up on the corner. I should be doing more with my weekend but alass love being home and hang out...I have to make a long post later today or tomorrow to catch you up on my week. The week was fun.

This was the venue for the Bob Dylan concert we attended on Thursday. We went extra early and waited for the concrt to fill and eventually begin--hot but great clouds and a stiff wind kept  us cool--what a fun day.

On being a better person

. My life to some degree has fallen into a routine that's good. I think right after retirement I was floundering having too much time not knowing what to do with this newfound time. I think I was wise by keeping some contact with my previous life by volunteering at 21. That works for one day a week. Then I strongly got into the Wellness program and this is great. It fills a whole afternoon three days a week of going down to rehab and working out. I believe I am now seeing good results, positive results in my body and it myself in my mind. I'm focused on working out and making my physical body better. I think I've dropped some weight and and pumped up by attitude about myself.

I still felt myself sinking into a bit of depression. I've had a couple moments of anxiety and general fear of what I don't know, or I didn't know until one evening while lying in bed was trying to figure out what was missing in my life. I remembered earlier that day visiting with one of the folks I associate with at United Way and telling him halfheartedly, jokingly that I felt I One step ahead of the dark side by doing good works. Now these good works don't have to be totally conscious. Just by my work in the disabled field I was constantly doing good works whether I want to or not, it was part of the job. When I'm lucky enough to be exposed to this group of people in desperate need of information to their problems with disability I often go beyond just the basics of their question and give them much more information, ideas and possibilities that they might consider when coming to grips with the life of disability. I realize without my work I don't have that easy access to people in need and I think that has had an impact on my life. I believe the person needs to be doing good, to be helping out their fellow being. I found doing so when doing good is not part of your job cabby quite challenging. I also noticed that many times during the day I am given opportunities to act out and I fail to act on those opportunities. How stupid am I? Twice yesterday for example, I was on the tarmac and people, homeless, possibly, folk asked me for money. Now, I used to carry two or three dollars that I could have one of these people and be on my way. I had the money but when they came up to me I turned cold and either just rolled past are made some comment like” not today”. So this is not me, or is it? I need to get back to not questioning why this person is asking me for money and just give and be done with it. Am I that shallow that I cannot do this. My day is not so busy that I can't pass up my fellow man as I have been doing. I believe myself is telling me” slow down” and help do your part, share your blessings. This is easy, you just have to give part of yourself to somebody else. I must confess I've been neglecting my neighbor, an ancient who does not have much time left on this planet. I can only visit with this person and good weather since their steps to his home and I cannot enter without lots of help. I used to go over to his house every day and visit sometimes for a few minutes sometimes for a couple hours but I did it and I don't do it now. Now, I must force myself to do this and make time to do this – – where's my spontaneity?

There it is, on this last day of July 2013. I am going to try to recalibrate myself to be a better person spend less time on the computer, in the Internet and focus on my fellow man and hopefully feeling better about myself.

July Endings

Doing better more posts this month but I CAN do better. i never did heard back fron nudist group perhaps it is best...perhaps there is a little crip discrimination going on which would sad. Oh well, i am happpy with who i am,naked or not. Its almost  August hard the believebut true. More tomorrow,maybe.

Clothes Optional

I'm coming out. There I've said it. I'm coming out of the closet and admitting that I'm a budding nudist. Oh, I've not really taken any action on this monumental decision to come out but for the first time I'm in knowledge my feelings about being naked. I like being naked, I wish I could be naked all the time but that's not practical. I have to go outside sometimes, you have to be in public for shopping, my volunteer job, just being out there you have to cover up your nakedness.

For me a quad/tetrapegic for over 40 years now clothes has been my nemesis. Seriously, my acceptance being in public naked happened after my accident. Seemed like for weeksI was completely naked all the time except for the little smock the hospital gave you in weak stab and modesty; luckily the time was summer the least I was cold and I could sense. The hospital nudity was just practical for the nurses and docs. I cannot even begin to count the times I would be naked on the bed flat on my back and my penis hanging out and getting prepped for catheterization and the nurse would be called away for one reason or another and invariably a candy striper or visitor would walk in the room. It was just easier to smile and say hello and to get all freaked out over the intrusion and my nudity. I found having next to no hands the less amount of clothing I had to get on get off the better. I've been blessed over the years to have just enough hand function to do most things I need to do independently. But still, having one pair of pants to pull up is hard enough I did not want to have to worry bout shorts then or now. I don't wear socks only during late Fall Winter into early Spring. I only wear shirts to protect the public from my obesity-- but that's changing. More than once I have fallen out of my chair for one reason or another and who is ever around are the designated lifters. Case in point, couple summers ago I was crossing the street to a restaurant not far from my office. I was in my manual chair in my front wheel can't a rock or something and I flew out of my chair on the street. I of course could not get myself back in the chair and relied on good Samaritans passing and they did help. Couple of men and three or four women all bent to assist and of course the pant were the first to go. Once again there I was partially nude in a big way—they got me pulled up the pants and I went on my way. It would just be easier to be naked all the time.

I love the heat in the summer, love hot summer nights the hotter the better. I love to set out on my deck in the dark naked, drink a beer smoked cigarette and watch my neighborhood in the dark. When I can I love to sit on the deck and back in the house, in the dark naked and watch the trains flyby. I like being naked and being outside, I am a nudist! Dianne found a local website about salt Lake Nudists—I joined the page but have not heard back yet. I doubt I will really do anything about participating but is just empowering to know that I can... If I want to... Clothing optional.

Cave In

I just got off the phone with Rehabilitation. I was returning a call from the rehab nurse who was responding to my request yesterday for a Home Evaluation that event when an occupational therapist is dispatched to your actual living environment to see and recommend what can be done to make your home more livable, making me more independent. I have been fighting this incursion into my personal space for at least three years now. My primary physical therapist, Sue began making the suggestion which it did not take very seriously. Her suggestions seemed pie-in-the-sky to me, costing lots of money and being physically impractical in the housing we currently live in. It's funny how these professionals think – – true, these professionals operate in the “best practices” concept their suggestions just seem over the top to me. I would just look at Sue and she would make the suggestions shake my head and cruelly laugh, like she didnot know which is talk about . I'm sure I hurt her feelings on more than one occasion. Really, I did not want someone coming into my house and taken over the way I live.

So I don't know if I am mellowing or just exactly what but I am revisiting these ideas of having an OT command my house and recommend options which might make my living here more independent and long-term. Maybe it's because I finally got into the wellness program, or maybe it's the testosterone regimen that I thought it went on our maybe it's the increased difficulty I seem to be having just doing my activities of daily living. Maybe this seeming success I am enjoying through retirement, wellness and testosterone therapy. This is all weird and him having to sneak up on it but when I do I think I have seen all this has really helped me and seems to be somewhat restorative and just exciting.

So, I imagine in a couple weeks I'm going to have an occupational therapist come into my house wander through and see how I live. I think I know the therapist who will do the evaluation and she is one I've seen that wellness and she is also a close friend of my physical therapist, Sue. I guess what I'm saying is that I trust this person, I see how she interacts with her clients but I'm at the rehab unit she seems to be very very good. I even feel some pending excitement as I consider this move make my living environment more accessible. I am hoping for major recommendations on getting in the shower. I also hoping for recommendations on getting on and off the commode and maybe even getting in and out out of bed.I know these are the basics but these are the things I struggle with on a day-to-day basis. And I'm up for anything that will make this time of my life easier to deal with. The time is right, we are fortunate to have a few extra dollars that we can devote to our lives right now and why not spend some of that money before that money de-values any further. This is the time the time is now carpe diem!

Summer Night

Theres nothing better then to be out on my porch on summers night watching a storm blow by andlistening to the ripple the leaves to the trees. Its been hot all day and storms winds ar
e making life bareable

Do Something Today!

I think the biggest challenge I am experiencing in retirement is just to do something, anything. I'm so thankful I have kept working or rather volunteering at 211. Even the one day a week helps me structure my week so that I keep the feeling that I have something to do. I know this is somewhat oversimplified but I can see I don't have something pressing that I might just do nothing and pass away the whole day and this is unforgivable. A whole day is a gift beyond measure and I need to use each day I have as a gift. I find it amazing how Swift the day can go,in the blink of an eye the day can be gone.

I think I am finally coming to grips with the guilt I think I was experiencing without having to go to work every day. I have finally allowing myself the gift of sleeping in enough to shake off the “ drag of sleep” one gets when one does not get the proper amount of sleep. It is amazing how long one accepts a state of being in that state of being is exposed as being preventable. I think I am past that feeling of dragging through a day due to lack of sleep and it's great.I find it also amazing how easy it is to slip back in to that that mode of “ doing nothing” and just coasting through the day with nothing to show for how many hours of consciousness I experienced.

So now I'm trying to have some good hand, something to do for all my waking moments. A book to read whether it be electronic are hard copy. My sister dumped a box load of paperbacks this last family reunion. I am amazed at how many titles I find interesting were in this box. The box is a mini gold mine. I'm going to keep one title under my pillow on my bed to read before going to sleep each evening. But I'm also going to keep a number of books aside to have this and when the grid/Internet goes down. I sometimes worry about the titles on my E list and what I would do if the unthinkable happens and were thrown back to a non-electric time. I would have something to read therefore something to do. So now even if I am reading fiction I'm doing something that is all right by me. So do something, anything do something and still my days with action. I need to make marks on paper. Even if they're just scribbles I need to bring about Mark Art. I literally have pads and pads of blank art paper. I need to fill these up with Mark marks even if just squiggles. My time is limited and I need to make the most of the time I have left.

Do something, anything, I must write more leave evidence of my existence of the time I lived on this small dusty ball we call Earth. Do I sound desperate? I think I'm having withdrawal fromThe Grapes Of Wrath which I just finished it is amazing to be so affected by a piece of literature. The characters of this book had to keep doing something every minute just to exist in this piece about the American depression. The book truly ends weird and I'm still having to wrap my brain around the ending but I can see why the volume is an American classic. Read it if you have not read it before. I know this is odd ramblings, maybe Sunday ramblings I don't know all I know is do something today.

What Difference A Year Makes.

Yesterday was my weekly attempt at volunteerism at United Way 211 the last workstation I haven't before retirement. You remember I elected to continue answering the phones on Mondays as a volunteer. I must say this decision is one of the best I have made. This weekly sojourn back to the world of work is challenging, invigorating and most of all fun. I truly enjoy getting up on Monday mornings early getting dressed and heading out to catch my bus and train that takes me downtown. If I did not have this opportunity I'm not quite sure what I would've done.

So with just a little fanfare I went out of my way yesterday technology to my fellow workers at 211 that yesterday was my one year anniversary is coming to 211. Even though I was not truly employed by 211 or even the state for the full year my residency online I still count experience one whole year. I thought it was cute the way most people acknowledge the passing of a year. The staff of course seemed delighted that I had an anniversary of such magnitude. I mean what they say certain like smile and nod your head when a child says “ look I tied my shoes!”. Staff also indicated just how much they enjoyed having me around, I mean really what you say free labor and free labor as good and adorable as me? :-)

Still I went from a small four person shop, no one being less than four years old to a vibrant, exciting young population of employees all enamored in the flow of doing good. Fresh faces, wide smiles and can do personalities was almost too much for me to handle. It was such a rah rah mentality that I didn't think I would survive my first week but I did. I gave these guys the benefit of the doubt my doubt. Luckily I was insulated from white toothed curtain of United Way by 211 staff where I was billeted. To a certain degree 211 is almost as new United Way as I. 211 and the relationship to United Way is another story will explore at another time. Suffice to say I recognized staff 211 my fellow operators as real people dealing with real issues every day on the phone. 211 came over en masse from the food bank a very rough and tumble group in my estimation. I felt safe at 211.

United Way staff is huge I was overwhelmed with the shiny new faces scrubbed every morning and dying for a challenge. I was pressed with United Way organization and how organized the operation was if not a little chagrined at their focus on fundraising. Now mind you they have great focus on projects of doing good. They are major operation work as such and all workshop they really get their projects done and really raise lots of money. The. Professionals the kind were going places. United Way stop along the way of their corporate ladder climb. But I've got to know these guys over this last year and I can really say I love them all! That statement is korney as hell but really, this is how I feel. I have watched each one of these guys put in massive hours on their individual projects. They come early for meetings and stay late for their events. They all take their business of doing good personally and with vigor. I doubt I could ever fit in United Way employee not that I would ever want to, really but belonging to such a group seems like it might be fun. They'll never get closer than 211 and even in 211 I've always been just volunteer.

I love this year, the year went too fast, but at this point in my life everything is going way too fast.

Just Charge It!

Blog July 5, 2013 – – Friday

I use a power chair you all know that I by now been one of the major drawbacks of the power chair the chair's inability to maintain a charge in its batteries over an extended period of time. When I first started using the power chair most chairs and the chairs I used had onboard chargers. So if you're out cruising around and you noticed your chair was low on power you just find an outlet and plug in. But a few years ago I noticed that shares no longer have onboard chargers. You charge your chair overnight and hoped you would have enough power get through your daily needs. I have to admit this freaked me out. I don't know if it's because I'm a big guyor I just get lame batteries but I rarely get the length of charge I need to get through day. Now, in all honesty, I must admit my chair has never failed me. I've always been able to get where I needed to go and back again. True my red emergency light may have been flashing like crazy but I was stranded. Still though I felt I needed to be proactive and I started carrying a charger. If a person were to buy a new charger the cost would be spent but fortunately for me I am aware of a number of stockpiles of used chargers and I've been able to grab a couple can have them at places I frequent plus I carry smaller trickle charger in my backpack so I feel fairly secure.

The trickle charger is okay but it's very slow whereas the new industry chargers which come with the new power chair packs a very strong initial charge and then trickles towards the end of the charge cycle. A couple years ago I began thinking why not have a charger placed in essential areas where people who use our chairs my frequent I. E. Hospitals, markets, libraries,university campuses, state offices in so. Why not? Then when a chair would be running low on power consumer just plug in and be underway in 30 min. or so.

In my retirement life, a couple times a week I go to a rehab facility to work out. I travel by train and bus to get to my destination. I also spend a significant amount of time traveling on streets in my chair, significantly depleting my batteries. This was not a problem when my rehab facility was linked with the University medical center rehab department and there was always a charger there I could use,but when they moved a few months ago this is no longer the case. I now go to Out Patient rehab. I contacted the director of this program on my second or third visit to see what it would take for them to get the charger at the new facility. I figured he just deep-sixed the idea but surprised two days ago when I was working out and he approached me and told me he'd spoken with the medical director of outpatient rehab the the idea was great. I must admit I was shocked. I know this is going to be a long process, I know how bureaucracies operate but it sounds as if something is happening. They are talking about finding a universal charger which I don't think exists but if I gently prod them along maybe just maybe we can bring about change in charge.

Welcome Home Old Friend

I got the call late Tuesday afternoon. UCAT called advising me my power chair is finally repaired! Again, I allowed myself to experience controlled excitement but I was excited. Perhaps the A T conspiracy I have been experiencing the last couple weeks might be coming to an end. I could hope. It was almost 4 PM and Dianne I just returned from watching Asher. She was tired of volunteered to head right out and procure the repaired technology.

It was not long before Dianne returned and hurriedly unloaded the chair. It was good to see wheelchair. Even though I've had issues with this I've grown to appreciate the wheelchair's strengths and accept the wheelchairs weaknesses. The tilt mechanism was indeed prepared for which I'm immensely appreciative. Now let me say I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. UCAT is indeed a gift horse providing A T support and equipment in most cases at no cost. You might remember I initiated this project and trying to see how bad my control mechanism was malfunctioning. In the interim it was strongly suggested that UCAT might have controller which would interface with my power chair. This would be awesome. If I have to replace this controller the cost could will be in the thousands. So,we were extremely excited at the prospect of a new controller or at least controller which seems to work. It didn't happen there was no new controller and I believe I have accepted this , it is just a disappointment. So I'm going to live in the moment knowing where there is a stockpile of controllers which will meet my needs when the moment comes.

So yesterday I put the chair to the test and headed back to my Wellness program. Dianne drove me to the train station and I was on my way I felt great. I had forgotten to plug the chair in to charge overnight. Still I was at 98% charge. I even deviated from my path and grabbed a hamburger before my workout and I even stopped at the art store on the way home all on the short charge and I got back home at about 55% charge. I felt great, my butt felt great I was back in the game.

I cannot believe how good it felt to be back at Wellness. I don't know what has happened but I did the 30 min hand bike with almost ease. I also did rickshaw, and other exercise regimens with gusto. I really felt I was doing my body good. I actually wanted more but I was glad to work out and feel the good the work out is doing to my body.

Its the Fourth of July and we are toying going out and watch fireworks later on. I would actually rather just hang out at the house and watch the illegal fireworks that I know many of the neighbors will launch. But it might be fun to go down to Murray Park and watch the fireworks there. And either way I will be were I will be with rings on my fingers and bells on my toes in my repaired power chair ho ho ho.

Be in the Moment

I was fortunate, after posting my last blog, way back in June I was able to find a power chair at the Utah Independent Living Center which surprisingly has met a great deal of my transportation needs. I'm so thankful for the Center's A T loan program. The program has kept me going. Now, having said that I firmly believe I'm caught in a assistive technology conspiracy far greater than I can fathom.

The part came in for my broken manual wheelchair: Quickie 2. I was as ecstatic as  I should have been at delivery of the new wheelchair. We replaced the cross member and I seem to be back in action. I would be able to once again make transfers in and out of the bathroom safely and easily. I forced to use the new manual chair and I was able to limp by but trying to live in that chair is at best challenging. It was the second morning after receiving the repaired original quickie and I once again experienced a frame break! I cannot believe this two breaks on my frame. I felt defeated actually just for a moment, my great wife Dianne, talking through this minor setback. I felt all we needed to do was have the new break welded. When DD took the piece to a welder he said weld would not take on the metal the wheelchair is made of. He did further research and found the frame is under warranty and any welding on the frame would violate the warranty (we knew that)but I did not want to wait,I wanted to get my life back even a small part. However Diane thought it best we wait and we did. So, I've been using the new Quickie2 and it seems to be working. I'm doing better transferring and even though the back of the chair is a real pain to negotiate I've been doing fairly well. I must admit I do kind of like the chair in many respects but I still have major issues with transferring and once again Sunrise Medical airshiped the new piece to us. I figured what the hell just another week.

In the meantime I'd spoken with the boys at UCAT who indicated they had parts that work on my chair and could bring about a repair at no cost to me. This of course would be extraordinary if they can pull off so I figure what the heck let them have a shot at the repair. That was two weeks ago I'm still waiting and since UCAT is a state agency, and since they're doing the work essentially for free I got to go with their schedule. We stopped at I L on the way home and picked up the power chair I'm using now. Life goes on.

The end of last week the new part for the wheelchair arrived, this time controlled excitement. I was so impressed as Dianne dove into the project of replacing the part. She pulled the broken piece off wheelchair and replaced it with the new part. I am still impressed the project took less than an hour and on its completion we realized, of course, Sun Rise Medical had sent the wrong piece even though Dianne had done everything right given the correct part number, chair model etc. So more waiting. DD called Sunrise and found my chair is so old they don't make parts for that model any longer however they will manufacture a piece to make it fit. I am impressed totally impressed. So we wait and I continue to use the new chair which is quickly becoming my main chair. I'm fairly sure I will back to using the broken quickie 2 when the new part eventually arrives.

So my take on this whole experience is that there is a greater force out there who is teaching me to accept the world as it comes in be happy with what comes. I've been trying to manufacture reality I want and not necessarily the best reality for me. I am not one who has lived in the moment. My perceived life of poverty has taught me to live in the future when things will be better for the most part I've gotten away with this but this new life lesson is potent and I better learn fast because the next lesson is even too cataclysmic for me to ponder. Live in the moment, love in the moment and be happy.

Today was the day, today was the day I was scheduled to pick up the manual wheelchair we ordered a few weeks ago. You might recall this whole event started back in February, I think, when I will swallowed up by my manual wheelchair that I use at home. One of the cross axles broke causing the chair to implode and swallow me.( this post is written couple days after it was initially started).

Normally, I would be somewhat excited at the prospect of a new wheelchair, like a new bike or a new car or anything new but this is the case with this chair. Initially, my goal was to get a chair just like chair that imploded on me: quickie 2, folding chair. I seem to lose control of the whole operation the second method my therapist, that's physical therapist. Now I love my physical therapist, she's intense, she's focused and professional and a seating specialist. I really just want someone to sign off on a script that would let me order chair. But no I have had the whole 9 yards. Evaluation was intensive it took two hours intended discussion. I tried to make my point but it was a losing battle. My PT pushed strength of the chair, butt protectionand a lot of other stuff that only professional would push. I just wanted a functional piece of equipment that would let me get on with my life when not in my power chair. The only silver lining to this dark cloud was that by this point of my coverage year I met my deductibles and theoretically the chair not cost me anything out of pocket. I knew I would be disappointed.

I hate being right. Even the fact that the chair had been in the vendors shop almost 2 weeks before I was able to pick up because I had to meet with the seating specialist and the vendor do a final fitting. I think my PT and see my crestfallen face when I was presented the chair. I think they want to see me boiling over with excitement that was not to be. I essentially was transferred out of my chair and sat in the new chair. The chair is a solid frame quickie, it has especially back like my power chair, which I guess is okay it could help. The question is a mega cushion its huge. It must be at least 4 inches tall which will make transferring from the toilet to the chair are from the bed to the chair near impossible to say nothing of transferring from the shower to the chair. The chair itself is 2 to 4 inches longer than the chair that broke. I still haven't figured how to deal with this. Needless to say I haven't even really tried the chair yet. I think I'm still in mourning. Now get this to top everything off remember couple weeks ago and I fell down the steps at the library in my power chair? Well it's been acting weird ever since. Yesterday I finally had my appointment with the technician. Of course, the technician found major issues with the chair. I've been having problems with my controller which is what I was really worried but it seems the chair itself is broke upon which tells the chair is actually broke and of course will take time and money to repair. So I'm shagging ass everywhere trying to find a cheaper solution which all takes time and I'm sure I'll write more on that later.. So, I am off to find a loner power chair which will get me by until I can get my 6000 Z repaired.

Where t Are The Technicians?

Blog June 11, 2013

There is a conspiracy out there I can feel it, I know there is I just cannot prove it yet. Once again I am being plagued by a wheelchair cannot rely on. There seems to be an issue with my controller, the mechanism which allows a wheelchair to function. I would say controller the most port device on my wheelchair.. The controller allows me to communicate with my chair, how go, when to stop, when totilt in place and so and so on. My chair has been stopping its forward motion and switching into tilt mode at which time I must manually return chair to one of the forward speeds. Many times when I do this I travel just a few feet or yards event happens again I have to repeat the procedure. I have found if completely shut down a wheelchair and bring it back up I can then continue my trip causing great frustration and great concern and safety of myself and my chair. This problem seems to have gotten worse in the last couple of days. So much so I switched from denial mode to action mode.

Today I called my main provider and found I could not even have my chair diagnosed a week. I made an appointment thinking there's no way I can continue using this chair but I have to, it is how you get around. It seems my provider has so few technicians that this wait is not uncommon but thisuncommon to me. I even called the only other service provider for power chairs that I am aware and was shocked to find my wait will even be longer. She explained that her shop is down to onetechnician. This is uncanny. She further noted they used to have three or four technicians but they're gone now. I was think it would be an abundance of technicians, wheelchair technicians, and the Valley since a major wheelchair shop imploded. But it seems there are only two technicians serving the Salt Lake Valley. Unbelievable! So I was forced to accept week long wait. Fortunately for me that after a number of tries I was able to get my chair to sustain forward motion for my travel needs today. I have a full agenda for the rest of the week, meetings, wellness a birthday lunch with my son I cannot afford to have a chair malfunction. Even if I make it to Monday when I'm supposed to have my chair diagnosed I know this just going to be a diagnosis they will be time and great expense after the diagnosis. But what can I do?

Something or someone is taking the technicians I'm sure it is aliens. To me the answer is always aliens. Why aliens would be interested in power chair technicians is beyond me.. So here I sit on a time off not knowing when the bomb will explode or implode. I should be thankful the malfunction exhibits itself by just switching into tilt mode and not switching into uncontrollable high-speed) just as the train approaches.. But I fear something bad is going to have and I think it's going to be something like the chair stopping never go again in the middle of an intersection downtown Salt Lake.

One of the rituals that has filled my space of time left by retirement has been my involvement in the Wellness program offered by University rehab. I believe I have blogged about University rehab before and the Wellness program. Recently outpatient rehab separated from inpatient rehab at the University of Utah Hospital. University outpatient rehab is now in Sugarhouse Utah, a small community and the larger area of Salt Lake City. Sugarhouse is a cutesy area of the city which is fast becoming the new yuppie center with art houses, coffee shops and trendy apartment complexes. Sugarhouse offers great restaurants and other fine amenities to the Salt Lake area. I usually access this area at 1100 E. and 2100 S. I'm fortunate that my bus drops me off at this point and then it's just two blocks to outpatient rehab in my workout area. I've noticed that last couple of weeks since the nice weather has started back there has been a looks like a street person selling walking canes that he makes right at my bus stop.

This little guy is there every afternoon I get off the bus, runs over this stick carving away. Truly, he looks like a homeless guy trying to make a buck. I quickly categorized this fellow as a huckster, flimflam guy trying to shakedown the public. He's always there, is by close by with his inventory of sticks. I always flew past this guy as quickly as I could, making no eye contact and try not to make any other kind of contact. Friday was challenging, without going into a host of boring reasons now is just say I felt I needed to speak with someone who maybe have been having the worst day than me. I had a great deal more time than I usually have to get to my appointment when I got off the bus Friday and I really had no other place to be at that exact moment or maybe I was at the exact place to be at that moment. I roll over and just watched this fellow worker his sticks for a moment. Was definitely a carver with great skill. Use only a humble pocketknife but very sharp. The strokes are short clean and exact you knew what he was doing. He scanned the bark from the sticks Swift and clean he made it look easy like one of those guys at state fair sales kitchen equipment for fixing vegetables making it look easy but it never is once you get the product home. I work with enough would you know how hard it is for me to carve and to see him handle the knife like you did was a joy to behold. I risked and said something and he looked up his face broke into a smile that put me to rest. I don't know his name, yet but for the purpose of rest this blog I will call him John Carver.

I looked into John Carver's eyes clear, focused and sparkling. John's face is a sunburned, bearded craggy portrait of solitude focused on his work and at turning stick into a walking cane. His is clothes are not raggidy, is not a hobo, he wears a bandanna aroundhair that is not gray and most likely was once golden. Carver looks like an aging country singer truly this. Carver's quick to speak, is eyes dance to a quick smile when asked a question. Carver told me he makes these canes for anyone who wants. Carver does not put a price on his work just asking folks donate what they feel the cane is worth. Carver told me, in not so many words, that he has been homeless but is not now. Carver does not strike me a raving Christian but he definitely attributes what security in life he has to his God. Carver stated he does not worry about food nor place to live saying those things be taken care of Carver just has to take care of his fellow man. Carver told me he has to range for his sticks harvesting them where ever he can find them, backyards, riverbanks, parks and alleyways, anywhere wild things grow. He has a bike and pedals far for his product. He told me heartbreaking stories of how his bike had been stolen with his sticks and tools, we dashed into a local restaurant to use the restroom. Carver smiled when he told me almost immediately someone had replaced his bike and now he used his knife to whittle his sticks.

John told me to get handouts, that he was a veteran that he had no ID so you can collect any veterans benefits. I tried to tell him there was ways around this but gave me a look that said there's more to that story a lot more so I stopped. This guy is probably been around the block more times than me. There's more I could write about this meeting and I just might at some other time but suffice it to say I will speak with him again and maybe drop a dollar or two into his hat not because I feel sorry for him but because I admire you doing, is surviving by his wits and his skills and his ability to entertain me.

Another Scrape on the Wall

It's the end of May and once again I neglected my blog but the upside is that I have been busy very busy and I guess that's an excuse as best I can do today. I have been faithfully attending the Wellness program. I think this program is doing me some this. I was a little concerned at the beginning because I didn't think I was being challenged enough. However, my main trainer has been done on vacation for two weeks and Stephen the replacement trainer's been very good. Essentially I have been much more directed in my own exercise. Before, even though I was committed to the project, I was doing work for the trainer and not really for myself. This is changed, I now have really bought in to the idea that I'm there for myself in any work I do is for me and for some reason that makes all the difference.

Wellness is just that working to be as well as I can be. I know this sounds corny but it's true. I try to be the first one there on the afternoon workout. I am beginning to identify and feel like I'm part of a group. This is also corny but it's how you feel. I'm getting used to seeing other people with disabilities some similar to mine working out and taking control of their lives in some small way. I'm also beginning to feel that making inroads with members of the staff which is a small thing but makes me feel good. The staff: physical therapists andaids produce an interesting hierarchy of service and tension I find fascinating. The two aids I have worked with both share a goal to be more than physical therapy aides. Both of these physical therapy aides are working to enroll in physical therapy school with the end goal of Becoming physical therapists. I get the impression they really hate the role of being an a in physical therapy. I've seen them kind of being mistreated and second-classes by the other Pts. It's just interesting. The wellness program I sense is being driven by one of the PT's will call Kristen. She's young but has a doctorate in physical therapy clinics are one of the gods of the room. She's nice enough but has a real mean streak or need for control. A few days ago while working out I saw her walk past a wall that had been damaged by someone's wheelchair most likely a power chair. She became more than irritated not full-blown angry but focused on finding out who had done the damage. I'm sure it was not me but I sure have been guilty in the past of damaging walls. I watched Kristen intergate various individuals mostly aids and inquire if they know who did the damage. No one fessed up. But I could feel a thick oppression fill the room. It was not pleasant and I dialed down the speed of my chair.

Watch Your Wheel

Some days are just more physical than others. The only real item I had on my agenda today was an appointment with Standard Optical for an eye exam to get a new prescription for glasses. I made the appointment for 10 o'clock figuring I would have enough time to get dressed and get up to the corner catch my bus and get to 5300 S.

I was lucky I rolled in a few minutes before 10 o'clock. The office was all but deserted except for three employees sitting in the back of the office. Employees seemed locked some sort of bickering debate as I rolled in. The oldest male was disheveled say the least bit overweight, there was an overweight female who may have been the receptionist seemed to delight in doing the opposite of anything the male asked. The third individual somewhat younger tending towards obesity location dressed in a black suit and white shirt and skinny tie. The entire batch looked like losers from an optometry game show. However, they did stop arguing long enough to sign me in and have me fill out the information that they asked me over the phone the day before. That done it was time to get me into the exam room or more specifically the exam chair. I have to admit a cynical as I am, I am usually ready for just about anything that deals with disability. I have to admit though I was sucker punched by the fact the exam chair of course bolted to the floor did not spin their turn it was fixed in the forward position to the eye exam materials. What followed was a Marx Brothers routine and getting me out of my power chair and perched on the exam chair. The exam chair of course was slick Naugahyde and I could barely keep myself inside the chair. I really thought I was going to slide out and I was dead. It was during this time that Queen Joan entered the room, Queen Joan is the O D and she rules. Queen Joan is nice but it's definitely a step above the rabble trying to serve me in the chair. There was questionable if I was going to even be able to test right for the eye exam. Long story short I think we are able to pull it off, the eye exam but it was difficult and took true creativity.

I left Standard Optical eyes fully dilated with Windows weird black plastic sunglass things they see seniors wearing long after the senior has anything to do with the optometrist. The senior thinks it's cool. I mean you could use these devices is welding goggles the plastic is that dark and difficult to see through. But I left dilated to the bright afternoon sun. I had the time so I figure for the heck and decided to visit Murray public library during nice facility not far from the optometrist's office. I was okay crossing the road, I was okay navigating my way into the library which was much darker than the outside and it took my granny shades off. I was okay, I could see and I spent some time looking around the library. I'm quite interested in seeing how I might be able to use the library and I Legacy project. So I was interested in a row of rooms off to the side of the children's pit. Turns out this short row of officesbelong to staff. Having noted this I turned my chair to my left and then literally fell off the floor and into the children's pit!The events happened so quicklyall I can remember was “oh no!”and knowing I was going down and wondered what was going to happen to me. I am amazed at how much the human body is like a bag of cement whenever I get the floor. There I was on the floor and thank God the power chair actually rolled over me not over me but over me it didn't touch me as it went over my body. I still haven't figured this out but I'm not questioning.

Immediately one of the librarians ran out of her office and asked if I was okay, I was of course but there's no way I was getting back in my chair by myself and we ended up calling Murray fire department who dispatched three paramedics take care of the downed grandpa. I was pleased that the crowd did not form. Paramedics were great asked all right questions, held my pants on and lifted me into the chair. The chair seemed okay. I seemed okay just a little rug rash on my shoulder. I left as soon as I could. I caught the bus home kind of freaked out usually I bounce pretty good, I recover pretty good but this time I was spooked. I'm still a little spooked over how safe I am? But I am going on with my life hopefully I will get a chance to live much longer. I was glad that and this challenging day.

Gang Of 10

We are a blended family, we're a mashup family, their families large part made by adoption of one sort or another but we are a family and are coming together. We're family is now scattered all over this great country coming together for a reunion is no small feat. I frankly don't know how the other kids doing, those who live in other states must pull up the business of the cold for a week or so to make the trek, this year, to Utah. In years past the reunions have always been invoicing. We have made the trek most times for the voice he reunion but there've been a couple times we didn't make it. Car trouble are just plain poverty we didn't make. I don't I will even considered going downto Colorado or Kansas or Illinois. These guys always made the trip out to Boise and now to Salt Lake.

I'm feeling the reunion is coming together. I shlepped together a Facebook page and oddly enough people are reacting to it positively. The pages be liked and commitments are being made and Facebook. This is great for planning the event. I called my sister Leah this morning and she gave me some great ideas to consider . I've already decided, with Leah's help on a spot for the evening meal Friday night before the reunion. We still have to put together some events that well entertained younger family members hopefully will be able to put something together that will be viable, memorable and fun. Mark A has volunteered to run a sound system and I want to see if I could give him to assist in the legacy portion of the event. I must confess I feel a little bit spooked because the event seems to be coming together to easy. But, we'll just have to do the best we can; people are going to show up that's for sure if we do nothing more than sitting around tables and talk like old people that we will have a successful reunion. If we do more than just sit around and speak to each other well that's just icing on the cake. I hope the Smith family will have many more reunionsbut I don't think we will with the players that are alive now. I was remarking today to someone that I am amazed that all of us are still living. That's 10 kids all alive and relatively good health but that can't last forever. But for now we are family, we are a force to be reckoned with the our gang of 10.

Reunion 2013

I'm finding one of the joys of retirement is the misguided thought that I have nothing to do. True I did carry on for the first two months about what I was going to do with my life and what could I do to keep busy. Well that is all changed. As I believe I have mentioned I have become involved in the Wellness program because I physical therapy project that does not include a real physical therapist. The wellness program is ran by University rehab takes place in a late hours of the afternoon when there physically accessible rehab gym is open and staffed with a trainer. I did not think I was going to like the program but I have changed. I can see the Wellness is for me. I can use this time to strengthen, work on balance and even lose weight if I so desire… It's up to me. I attend the Wellness sessions three times a week for an hour. However factor in two hours of travel at least it takes the whole afternoon three days a week.

I have also become involved with the local senior center. I don't know how much I'm going to do for these people I'm receiving some weird vibrations and I don't know if it's me or them but I have to find out. I got roped into doing their Facebook I don't know just what that's going to take time wise. I have meetings with their folks tomorrow and the end of the month and we will have the see what they expect.

Then I was contacted by my brother asking me if I could help out with the family reunion is being held in Murray this year. I of course is happy no am happy to be part of this gathering. Frankly, I am pleased that Carl contacted me with this assignment I just hope I can be of service to those I love. Boy, this is mushy. My brother was kind of surprised to see how busy I had become. I was to once I started telling him everything was up to. Still bringing this reunion to fruition shouldn't be that big a deal. I doubt this reunion will be as dynamic as others we have had invoicing particularly since we had some great Parks and a great river. I don't know how many younger family members will be here. We do have a lot of younger family i.e. kids which need to has something to do. I think the old ones for seniors like me just want to sit and talk to the other family members as long as we can but that's not fair to the others so you have to be thinking on what to do on that level. I have set up a Facebook page for the reunion and I hope various family members believe messages and ideas things we can do at this family function. I myself would like to do a brief legacy project which would entail filming as many folks that would be open to telling the story and that story of the Smith family.

Don't Give Up

Don't give up on me, I am going to write again, soon I promise. Rest assured I am well and settling nicely into retirement.

Get Back On The Horse

I really wanted to post this Sunday when the event happened but life just seems to get in the way. Last summer when I was going through all those issues with the decubitus ulcer on my butt I. E. Pressure sore I sort of gave up driving. Actually, even before the decubitus I was driving less and less. I hate to drive the truth be known, but transferring to the driver seat of the van with little or no protection for my butt made driving a painful and somewhat dangerous ordeal. So after the fling in the hospital I sort of gave up driving. I use public transit so much anyway given up driving was not a major sacrifice. I get back and forth to my work and most everything else very well with public transit. I bus or train everywhere and the system works. DeeDe is always happy to drive me where I need to go when I need to get to somewhere public transit doesn't go in this usually works well to. I tend to become complacent and take the easy way out. I don't like that about myself but I'm afraid it's a truism.

About a year ago maybe shade longer, in an effort to pare down, we got rid of are more expensive cable provider went with the local city provided cable provider at much less expense. For the most part this provider has met our cable needs but we of become less and less satisfied with their service, equipment and quality of viewing. We have started trolling cable channels looking for movies. Only find one we want to watch we record the item on the cable recorder. Many of these films are saturated with commercials (which drives me crazy) but at least we can fast-forward through commercial breaks. If the video is good then I tried to find the video on red box so we can watch the whole movie without commercial breaks. I know just another step to elitism. The trouble with red box is that they just have their current selections they don't really have an inventory of older CDs. I suppose if we were tech savvy we could figure out a way to download the movies from the Internet. We have never done that and besides our television set is older and seems intimidating hook up to the Internet if indeed that is even possible. So I remembered blockbuster and they should have a number of older titles and they did. I diligently researched where the film was I wanted and found a blockbuster nearby. The daily and Sunday the transit was barely running so I figured why not? Why not just saddle up get in the van driver blockbuster and get the film. My rear end had been healed for some time DeeDe did a great job in taking care of me. I was a little intimidated at driving but figured I can do this.

The day was actually pretty nice as I drove out of the driveway and headed east and came to the address listed on the Internet. I've been here many times that something didn't seem right and it wasn't. The blockbuster was empty and I remember the blockbuster had been one of those shucked off by the Corporation last year and effort to save themselves. They circle the parking lot and decided to download anyway and at least go to the grocery store and pick up a few items. As I made a right turn into the parking area I felt the front wheel go up on the sidewalk. I had turned too sharply and before I knew it I was on the sidewalk there is a large crash from the right side of the vehicle. I could neither advance or retreat. There was an old guy walking in front of my van and this all happens he froze his face anguished and told me not to move. He told me I had driven over a stone, a large stone, a small boulder sharp pointed and had slid itself under the running board the passenger side. I can either go forward or backward without causing damage. I rock back and forth trying to free myself but he just shook his head and said I need to call my insurance agent. Who really calls their insurance agent? You want me to get out and look at the mess I created but I told them I was in a wheelchair and could not do that especially the van was situated. By this time the younger fellow strolled by looking at the vehicular carnage. And the both of them began to direct me in the best way to free my van. Damage been done the running board had been brutalized by the stone and he guided me off the rock the noise was gruesome but I did get off the stone and except for the cosmetic damage the van seems to be okay. I have not driven the van sense. But not because I was afraid to I just didn't need to. I have made the decision to continue driving. I'm basically a good driver but I need more practice so it's back on the horse and regaining control of my life.

Wellness

It seems I'm fully immersed in the Wellness Program of the University rehab program set up by University of Utah. I had my doubts going into the program since it doesn't even start are open till three o'clock in the afternoon and traditionally been well wasted physically by that time. But I said I would give it a try and I have and am indeed glad that I did.

I have had a bit of a challenge wrapping my mind and life around retirement. There is so much time to fill I was becoming worried that I would just be a set at home retiree but with the wellness program and exploring other volunteer options in my neighborhood I am finding my day quite full. I'm doing Wellness three days a week, at least, and I have been a discussion with folks at the Heritage center here in Murray and I can see if I don't watch out I might overextend myself timewise. Who would've thunk? I am also trying to cook more at the house and that to is filling my days. Trips to the market to gather fresh vegetables for dinner and take a couple hours. I'm traveling mostly by UTA and that seems to be working well. True if I chose to drive I can see I would not get any more done because of the physical expense I would spend getting into out of the van and just driving to say nothing of the risk. I will explain this further in another blog later this week. So my days are becoming full and I am pleased with that. I am also finally exploring more art options. I found a good art store on 2100 S. that's right on bus route and got some supplies and now I must push myself to draw more possibly and paint. The weather has not been ideal yet but we have had a few days of extremely nice weather in the 70s and I can see travel of the delightful once the other stabilizes.

Wellness is interesting. The program is pretty self-directed now have gotten all the preliminary physical baselines out-of-the-way. The facility just off 2100 S. 11^th East is fairly accessible by public transit. I can get there and back on a regular battery charge though sometimes I have charged for an hour after a workout. I have a trainer and that is interesting. I'm still just a few weeks into this project and I think I am a little over excited… I want to do more. If anything I feel a little frustrated in that I don't feel I am being challenged enough. I would like to be pressing more weight but the trainer says I need to pace myself. One builds muscle by actually tearing down previous muscle, interesting. So the first day I have a fairly rigorous workout using the arm machine, and the rowing machine and a couple others. I work out for an hour and that's it. The next day I go I work on just one or two of the weight machines and spend the rest of the time stretching and a lot of the stretching I can do at home which is cool. But the middle day is mostly stretching and letting the body recover. The third and final day of the week I work out is again more strenuous. The arm bike I can see and feel can be a fairly rigorous workout pumping and ever-increasing strain for eventually 30 min. at a time. I am currently pumping just 15 min. and that's okay. I know once I get to that 30 min. mark I will be quite exhausted. Still I feel I could be doing more but I will defer for the time being but my trainer says have faith in her wisdom. So I go to the workout and it is 45 min. to an hour and I'm usually out of the center by for clock and home by five if I make my corrections. So this is about the same time I was usually getting home.

The best part is I can feel I'm losing weight which is splendid. My transfers are getting better my pressure releases are better and I even think my spasticity might be coming down which is really great. I am even making more salads for the evening meals I think that is helping too. I am feeling good, not necessarily great yet but I think I could see that coming. I am even contemplating getting back into the pool and swimming at least once or twice a week. Maybe even getting my hand bike repaired back out onto the road.

I'll discuss more about the project I'm working on at the Heritage center which will and include managing a Facebook account that to seems exciting if not a little daunting.