T M I?

Today has been a slow-motion day. I don't know if the slow motion effect is from the day or from possible sleep deprivation but I don't feel sleep deprived especially when I was waking up I actually stayed in bed till almost 8 o'clock and that's very rare, sleeping most of that time kind of. I was convinced and still am to some degree that I was suffering from a kidney/bladder infection. I didn't really have any pain per se but I did feel some pressure in my back towards the kidney area and I did wake Up frequently to urinate. Each time my urine production was fairly significant but they were spaced only a few hours apart which worried me a little bit. Frequent urination urgencies at least is indicative of urinary tract infection of one sort or another. Initially woke at 330 then again at 4:30 AM when I did he then I went back to sleep until 630 almost 7 AM when I peeD again .

It's weird now I tend to worry a great deal when I'm laying in bed pondering whatever issue is happening to me. I thought long and hard about finding the local “doc in the box”. I haven't had a need to find this kind of service in the time that I've been here in the Taylorsville area. I did find an insta-care type facility. There is such facility maybe 10 or 12 blocks away at least two bus trips. It's not that I have a problem with the two bus trips It's just that I don't want to go through that much effort today anyway. It's Sunday so the services very slim with headways on hour part. My other option than being too just drink lots of water and maybe even concoct an alfalfa tea remedy. I really believe in alfalfa just because my mother and my grandmother did. On the farm we always had a hunk of alfalfa curing on the roof of the garage for that time when somebody get a ladder. However, fortunately, praise the Lord, I begin to feel somewhat better as the day went on but I did maintain my hydration project.I think I do have a bladder infection still. I did ingest a lot of fluids today and the color of my urine increased tenfold or lightened butt hough light in color the piss is very cloudy and I assume dense And has a less than pleasant odor. I'm feeling better as I write this but still maybe tomorrow I should drop the urine off somewhere and see what they think. I know there will be infection found I always run a small grade infection but maybe it would be good to get some decent medicine to knock it out for the rest of the summer.

So tomorrow's going to be busy already. Even if I don't do urinary test I need to run down to rehab and get a couple parts for my chair. For some reason my back right Castor has seized and making a horrible noise it scared the snot out of me. I also have to replace my front caster that's got this flat surface so I don't keep thudding over and over again. Then my brother Carl should be over in the afternoon putting the control box back on my other chair. Somewhere in the meantime I have to do the finishing touches of my drawing submissions for Tuesday. This week is going to be busy

Blue Shirt Wishing For Red

This day has totally slipped away from me. It's after 6 PM and I'm just now getting to my blog and I still have not pumped my arm bike and I really need to do that today. I adjusted way to many calories and almost feel defeated as far as any weight loss which might've been achieved this weekend. I don't know if I will have the energy after blogging the rollover to the bike and pump but I might give it a shot. You see I still have drawing to work on. I can't believe how much this drawing classes taken over my life, I hope that's healthy. I do like it however when I'm in drawing mode getting there is another question even now I suspect I'm using blogging as a tool to get away from having to do my homework.

I'm wearing one of the dead man shirts I got from the sharing shelf this week. I thought I had reported something on that but I guess I haven't. Earlier the week I was amused when I pass the sharing shelf that was piled high with folded clothes, good clothes. There was even men's clothes, T-shirts, shorts, slacks, sweaters and on and on and on. I was amazed to find a number of 42's in the pile and shorts that were 42 waste and 44 waste. Granted the 44 waste is huge but no one will know until I stand up and that's not going to happen anytime soon. Long pants were 42s as well but they are kind is short on the and see what the out see my power that works. Since I rarely wear long pants and the longer it's not a big deal in fact one of the women at the pile with me suggest and I just cut them off. I could do this but the slacks are such nice slacks I would hate to do so. The T-shirts or another question. But not the 3L's and 3X's which I have been wearing lately but there are some 2X's which I can wear if I want to spend the day tugging down on my shirt and risking showing belly. But the T-shirts are nice but I'm willing to commit to that challenge though it's somewhat painful. In fact the day for the first time Ie reality of the situation is I don't wore one of the T's which sort of goes on nice but creeps up on my belly real quick if I don't watch out. I got three or four shirts some gigantic shorts which I think will help me out for a while. Though I have some forgotten into the whole idea of buying some new clothes and keeping new clothes looking good which maybe makes me look good.

It's funny how we see ourselves in our minds I. I often think I look good wearing something and The reality of the situation is I don't.see recent blog “koko” about me wearing a black watch cap. I've always loved the color red I don't know why but I do. I really like deep red felt tips for drawing instruments. Like Red Socks, somewhere in this blog I've written about my “victory” socksWhich I used to wear after wrestling in the seventh and eighth and ninth grades. I like red sweaters, I like red parkas I like everything red. I specially like red T-shirts, turtlenecks and windbreakers. It was a shock for my third wife informed me that maybe I didn't look so good in red. I believe her it was hard for me to accept but think she's right. In fact, she is convinced me that my color is blue which totally leaves me cold. I guess fortunate for me the poor individual who passed away and whose family member donated all the close over to our facility did not fancy red but he didn't fancy like colors either so that was a positive. So now, I'm going to pull off this really sort of tight, blue T-shirt And crank my arm bike for 30 minutes then back to drawing

The Good Samaritan

I've described this place that I live in as a secure facility better yet possibly more socially acceptable a Senior Gated Community. It's not so bad all things being equal everything you have to be careful of is that he carry your device to open the gates after 9 o'clock (and I think a little bit earlier if some of the gatekeepers have their way). We live in a rough part of town sort of. Redwood Road is a main artery on the west side. We sort of in the middle of the valley. There's a public park directly across the way from us it's a nice little park but it's public and we know that public parks this day of age, probably always, pulls in many times undesirables because they're free, often have free water and restrooms. We are adjacent to the park which makes it great for the seniors but the river definitely flows both ways. We lived behind coded doors. The exterior doors are open all the time but the access the building before seven in the morning and after 9 o'clock or so at night one must know the code to get in. If you are resident of course you must know the code are if you are a person who visits one of us apartment owners/renters then they must know the code as well. For instance, I have home health command three times a week and they all must know the code by the not getting in.

We've got warnings as far back as I can remember not to let people we do not know into the building which I guess makes sense but sometimes it's difficult when people are trying to get in and you're sitting on the other side of the door not to let them in in fact I always Let them in. I mean, they have to look pretty spooky for me not to hit the buzzer for them to access the property. I think lovely old ladies who sit out there in the lobby love to keep people on the outside, because I can't blame them, is the last vestige of power they have access to. These old ladies can be could he mean sometimes and quick to judge. This morning there is a lot of discussion about our young man loitering about our front door indicating he was waiting for one of the folks here at the apartments to come and let him in. Bill Lee said his eyes are all red like there's fire in his eyes, they just knew he was doing to probably a vapor. Then someone indicated he was actually waiting for “Kathy” a slightly endomorphic and has a little rat dog she calls Charlie. For some reason or another she was out there talking to this individual and everybody immediately assumed that he was her child are somehow attached to her child. The women were not necessarily ugly but they were a long ways from Christian for a number of members who thought they are very Christian. This social lynching went on for a good 20 minutes. I sort of hung around just to see what it would devolve into. Wasn't long before Kathy and Charlie wandered in and everyone asked about her son. Kathy looked befuddled “son?”. This was not her son she did know who it was that she was concerned about his condition and went out to see if she could be of any assistance to him. I was totally impressed here we had our own little version of The Good Samaritan.Everybody else turned him away except Kathy who had kind words and acceptance for the lad with fiery eyes. It was fun bringing this to the attention Of the Pharisees and hypocrites. It was great watching Kathy and Charlie waddled back towards the back door to where the dumpster is an overall the smokers hang out oblivious to everything which you been going on…

Messy Artist

It's the Fourth of July and I feel like a double winner not only is it national holiday in the day where I could just kick back and not feel guilty – – well sort of not feel guilty – – and the holiday falls on one of my class days. Which means no class which means no assignment due which means no stress to be perfect. I know this sounds irrational especially sense I worked so hard to get myself into this position. In all honesty, I did not consider that this is really going to be a work oriented project. Little did I know about making art the copious way.

There has been a couple of instances in this drawing class which kind of put the intimidation factor on me. The most significant was when the instructor, Brenden warned us that we had to have a pencil sharp because we had to be as exact and are markings as possible for the project to come out right. Another time Brenden indicated we needed to make sure our papers were fixated exactly square on our boards. I'm not sure if Brenden has ever really looked at me I'm not a whole lot in the “exact” arena of doing things. I'm just glad when I get close to what I would like to do. I can see now that many ways there is need for exact drawing, maybe the great artist depictions, drafters, architects and the like. I'm never sure if Brenden is mocking the class when Brendan asks the class if we are having fun. The maze drawing assignment was a great example of this. The lines had to be fairly exact for the image to take shape. I've done the image twice and that's all I'm going to do and I still have not been able to develop the maze. Then this morning as I was listening to National Public Radio and the commentator m ade a comment about something being messy or being practiced messy or something like that which revealed to me a profound insight. I mean I know I messy I always have been short discussed that and in the number of blogs postings everything from my desk, my bedroom even my handwriting. I can't expect to be precise the matter how hard I try. It's just not in me. I reel that I was a messy artist. That's my style that's who I am. As soon as I acknowledge this to myself I felt weight lift off my shoulders. I have nothing against the precise people of this planet. Brendan is precise, he loves to draw a line straighter than straight perfect from one angle to the next from the FP point to the vanishing point a perfect ray. As much as I envy the works of our precise mind I realize that is not me.

We are halfway through semester. I'm so thankful to have an extra day or so to work on my maze project and we have to hand in our profile/portrait assignment this coming Tuesday. Should've been today but do the holiday it will be Tuesday. I of course will not produce a work of art. I will have this weird thing scratched onto my white paper I hope showing the best of intentions. The maze look fuzzy at best with numerous erasing's and battered paper. Poor Godfrey, the student who sat for me, will have to just accept the image of his face as I see it and how I can wraw it at this point in time. And realize I did my best and except that I'm just a… Messy artist :-)

Just Another Brick In Wall…

I have to admit I'm a bit chagrined by the response I've gotten, the last two days ,from my post yesterday on Facebook regarding my destroyed cell phone. Liked to wander through life thinking the worst that's happened on what's happening to me is the worst thing that can happen when in fact I'm basically fairly common. I've achieved that goal I searched so significantly for as a youth to be part of the golden mean. I'm average, at best I'm average and that's okay by me. I was so pleased to find out and I guess I should've figured this out on my own how many other people have destroyed their cell phones and life goes on. I've got a nephew who says he consistently leaves his phone on the roof of his car when he stowing stuff in the back seat. I have a buddy who loves to hunt and has left his cell phone in the wilds, another likes to fish and has with some degree of regulation dropped his cell phone in the drink. Snow skiers create cell-sicles . Other folks like one of my ex-wives responded by LOL I have to except that As stop being so histrionic by your stupid new cell phone and get on with it. Sage advice, no question about it. The comments, though totally unexpected, totally have a positive effect on my disposition at the time. My quest now is to figure out a way to make sure this new phone lasts more than a month which is how long the old one lasted.

It's the even another national holiday, my doors open to my patio and it's quite nice outside, not a cause I would like to be but warm enough that I can sleep with the doors open out on the patio if I'd like. The cold front coming through so this clouds of the sky with the possible promise,ever so slight there might be a thunderstorm this would be perfect. I crossed the street and jumped the bus this morning I went down to Walmart. I want to get a watermelon plus a holiday potato chips. I ended getting the chips, mayo and even potato salad a small container but enough for me to get a taste. Sadly before I left I threw two potatoes in the microwave and that them. Now I have my potato salad I got figure out what to do with the spuds. I think I will use them to fry up tomorrow or the weekend for some fried potatoes of my bacon another July treat. I'm not really thinking of barbecuing or anything has domestic is that tomorrow. I will probably end up reading and if I'm really productive spending a couple hours on my drawing projects. And just kind of enjoying the holiday. No parades this year, and I don't really think I'm going to do any fireworks to speak of. I went on Amazon prime today and got a couple movies in my “to watch” section which might be fun. Got the Harry Turtledove volume that I sent away for last week. I read little bit tonight it's a good read I'm set. I spent some time with my van this afternoon reading in its shade. I let the van know That I'm getting rid of it one way or the other very soon. The van was stoic and took the news like a van however I see a few drops of oil like tears which were not there before…

Cellular Frustration and More

I just finished updating my journal for the last two days it was a long posting. It would be easy and somewhat lazy just block and copy to this document but I just can't do that. Maybe I'll have a boiled down version of the events.

The events of yesterday afternoon and the evening would have been enough for great posting. I had actually gotten some fairly decent sleep I did wake up a number of times is always but stayed in past the 5 AM times that I usually get up on Tuesday mornings to make sure I have enough time to get to class. I slept until about 6 AM I almost didn't even go. I was so frustrated the night before not be able to pack my clipboard and paper into the portfolio, trying to get my homework accomplished while fielding calls from good friends that need to be listened to. I seriously contemplated quitting the class. I had so many excuses in my mind from the fact that it seemed like my skin was breaking down on my butt to not being able to reach the ends of the canvas or paper that I work on it just seems like everything is against me in the class. But shameful as it is I just love how impressed people seem to be when I tell them I'm taking this drawing class.

I was surprised this morning that I felt fairly decent aside from sleeping in but I actually made it By the time class started I was amazed. I was hoping to have two hours of time to work on amaze and ask questions but that didn't happen. I don't think of been agreeable to do anything with that who knows I've got lots of time to next Tuesday was not to look like boy everybody else's work. It was interesting last night when visiting with Elske that she sort of echoed what Dianne said which was not to lose my basic artistic flair which makes my art mine. They think that paying attention to the measurement thing this kind of defeating to the real artist I'm going to embrace that and go forward but still try to get my tasks done and finish this class. But seriously the real, of my day was when oust trying to make it to class my backpack fell off my lap and I didn't notice when I picked it up that my cell phone fell out and launched right into the wheel (of course) and a high spun to go to class I heard the cell phone die under crushed glass in the weight of me in my power chair, once again I've destroyed.

Finally finishing class which had nothing to do with the mazes today were doing portraits each person sitting for a the other for an hour – – I worked with Godfrey a fellow from Africa I believe is a nice kid. My work does not look like him though. Even though my instructor says he likes it. So rather than working on kid letters, and other projects around the apartment I decide to go to wherever in a replace my cell phone. Was going to Best Buy but then decided why not try Walmart is a lot closer. Everything worked great. I didn't get the same level of technical support but I got a cheap cell phone and half of the materials transferred over. I struggle to the rest of the project once I got home but eventually got my cell phone fairly operational with all my apps working. I really do need a cell phone not only from when I sleep at night but checking my bus schedules and times and probably most importantly taking the pictures and even dictating some of the things for my blog.

Surprisingly my right hip is feeling okay tonight though I still feel I need to get off my will but relatively soon. I mean I get to the kids letters till this weekend or maybe Fourth of July soon to be another holiday. I've got hot dogs and buns and like to get a watermelon but I don't know how viable that is. On top of all this, I am getting an noodling of a possible toothache. I missed my appointment checkup last week and this should be just appropriate I can't believe it – it never stops…

Summer In City

What a day! I really wasn't counting on this to be a long day in fact on Friday I realized that I even had the medical appointment this morning at 11 AM so that wasn't so bad. However traveling from here in Taylorsville over to Murray means I have to switch the 201 at IHC. The 201 is notorious for its long headways (the time from when one bus leaves the when the next one comes). I was lucky however when I got to the train station just a few minutes the 201 showed up and I've made it over to my appointment. Now realized during all this time I am Beginning to have some issues with my ischials And I'm trying not to aggravate my skin anymore than I have to. I finished by seating evaluation and the William for the bus to take me back to the train station to go home. However something weird is happening in the bus doesn't come as just stuck way up above me on the road. When the bus does get there about 10 minutes late and this totally stuffed with developmental he disabled kids/people no room for the quad. The sun is hot is nothing I can do but wait for another hour – – that's right the headways of the 201 or one hour piece. So I'm baked in the sun trying to get home bragging do some resting and work on personal projects. I have to pay various bills write my letters to the kids and still write this blog as well as do as much of the homework for the art class tomorrow as possible. I have two important phone calls from close friends in faraway places that I take feeling that I have to take these calls.

The one call from my friend in the Netherlands her father died on Friday she still working through the whole process. He died after a long bout of cancer she was there. I was as supportive as I could be we talked on chat for about an hour before I finally had to wind up the call. The my Buddy from Mexico/California called we talked more about cancer specifically: cancer and how he needed to get his next colonoscopy scheduled. Under normal circumstances both of these calls but had little consequence for me taking time to listen which I did but I did feel pressure (excuse the butt upon) to listen to the calls for the same time get off my butt, finish my homework assignment, write the blog and realize that I'm not going to work out on my hand cycle today. Sometimes you just have to make a decision. So with that in mind I may even have toFinish this blog for the evening even though I have not gotten to my magical number of 500 words. It's not important to do the 500 words it's probably not important to write a blog every single day which now I'm kind of into and I can't see a day without writing something to my blog. But seriously now I have to close and finish my preparation for tomorrow's drawing class with the eye single to getting home as soon as I can and getting off my butt…

So long June

I've been kind a harping this, not in the blog per se, I mean in my regular life. I'm really working at not trying to sound like the senior that I am (notice that I did not insert the qualifier “I am becoming”) because I'm there! I don't know if it was the cold and wet early June or the fact that I've been fairly busy with this intro to drawing class I seem to be so involved in whatever the cause inexplicably tomorrow is 1 July! I lost month of summer! We had a few 90° days and in honesty very few days in June are like 90° are more sort probably on track just seems that the month evaporated. Poof and June was gone. And so tomorrow begins the holiday week. I miss one class meeting because the fourth falls on Thursday and fortunately I've been able to reschedule my home care person to come on Monday Wednesdays and Fridays as was the old schedule. She's great, a little slow, I think this will pass as she acclimate's to me and I acclimate to her. The best part is that she works all night watching an old person, probably even older than me, then come straight over the do me and about 5:30 AM! This is great. I'm getting all the stuff out of the way by 7 AM.

So, summer technically is a fourth over if one counts September as officially being part of summer at least until the 21^st. A third if you count the end of August as the end of summer with Labor Day and the world turning itself into the colder months of the year again. I need to consider if I want to take a class this coming fall. I'm totally enjoyed, mostly, my experience with my Intro Drawing class. It certainly has taking over as far as time consumption goes. I kind of have to keep reminding myself to keep the pressure off does are is no pressure the doesn't matter if I pass or fail but I do want to pass. I want to pass the course I want to feel what I'm right there with the other students producing artwork. My work is not like there's they have good hands, patients and youth. The attack each assignment actually put together a pretty good item to turn in. I on the other hand find each session a challenge and am embarrassed at the brute marks I make on the paper. Fortunately for me everybody who knows what I'm doing is encouraged me in my efforts. I know for the most part they're just encouraging the old man but still just like the publications I have at Art Access it makes me feel like I've really produced some art and that I am an art person. I love the solution I love my little workstation as pathetic as it tends to be. I love my pencils my sharpeners in my tablets, many tablets and the markings and the drawings and the pieces of “art” I've produced. I'm still quite fond of my donkeys and the apocalypse project I just hope I don't lose my edge with the introduction of true art skills. This weekend I'm working on mazes as I discussed earlier. I actually spent a couple hours on the project I'm nowhere near what I need to be what I'm going to finish what I can drag the rest in the class and hopefully the instructor can give me some more guidance. I know that my maze will not look nearly as great as the other students but that's okay I can live with that it's just another project done and out of the way. We next are going to work on faces are portraits which I'm quite interested in doing better than I'm doing now, I think we shall see. Regardless, I'm going to read the text do the assignments see how I can use those are all the tablets that I've accrued…

Cocoa,Kokoo It's All BANANAS

I don't know if it was because I was born smack dab in the middle of 10 kids but it seemed like I was I trying to get attention or in some cases blend into whatever system I Happened To find myself ensconced. Sadly my motorcycle accident in 1966 gave me more attention that I would ever want. I truly became an individual in my own right. However I still wanted to be known for something totally me. In high school I took to wearing this huge stupid cowboy hat actually it was not a cowboy hat it was an Aussie hat which is sort like a cowboy hat, you know flat on one side. I thought it looked cool. I wore a green beret that my brother got me from Fort Bragg North Carolina. The real thing I even purchased the hardware and pinned it on. I didn't know enough to get a flash to go with it. When that became uncool I were just a regular French beret and then a black watch cap thinking I Looked like Michael Parks from the movie “Then Came Bronson”. It seemed I wanted to be and look like anything that I wasn't.

One of my favorite Seinfeld episodes is the one where George is trying to acquire some form cool name recognition. This was a funny episode especially for me because I totally understood George and what he was going through and why so much wanted some level of fame that would make him cool. Interestingly if I remember correctly he inadvertently got the name “Coco” which was the name of a monkey that the famous monkey anthropologist, Jane Goodall, was working with and taught to communicate. Great episode.

I wanted to be cooler than I deserved luckily however I grew out of that phase and settled on whatever name seem to get tagged to me. Shrink, Marco, Mark Anthony, Lancer and a host the names I've forgotten along the way. I worked a number of jobs where I would have to use a pseudonym when I was on the phones that was always sort of cool I like that but was always glad to come around a good old “Mark” at the end of my work session.

This may be my imagination I don't know but it seems like my hair has gotten whiter over the winter so much so that this year when I “browned up” I really looked darker than usual, Or maybe it's the fact that this year is really the first year that I have not shaved my head during the summer. So, I don't know what I look like when my tan would deepen. Either way I never paid much attention to the phenomenon until the other day. I believe I've written about sitting up by my van and reading. I didn't realize many people took note of this. Anyway, yesterday I was actually reading under the canopy eight by the back door in the shade and one of the older seniors here at the complex walk by with her little rat dog and revisited briefly. During the conversation she mentioned the fact that people had taken to calling me Koko because I've darkened up so much and I look kind of chocolatey I guess. That sort of cool in that I found out my truly needs and it would make sense. Kind of cool to have a nickname now, aside from the one senior known else brought up this issue but I suppose it will come up sometime during the summer and I've going to embrace being called Koko, the sign language monkey even though the seniors .

Burro Buddies

I feel kind of lucky because my ex and I have recently began texting a little bit which is been kind of enjoyable. I'm not really sure but I think she's one of the main readers of my blog for a host of reasons and I appreciate any criticism or comments that she leaves in the comment section. Dianne has made a number of comments over the years and I  really take anything she tells me seriously. That's why when she made the comment about hopefully my involvement in the Introduction to Drawing she encouraged me not to lose contact with my basic burros. I like to draw a group of burros I've been developing over 20 years it seems like. I called the main group a collection “Burros of the Apocalypse”. I know that sounds dismal dystopic and I would develop a storyline featuring these beasts in some kind of dystopia but I've never gotten that far and actually I just like the way the title sounds and a way to group all the little burros I've created. Anyway, the comment Dianne made or text of was that she hoped I didn't change these guys once I learned to make burros the “correct” way. This of course is not the first time I have thought of this. In fact last couple weeks since I started class I've thought about this a lot and sometimes I feel I'm even beginning to shift in that direction.

I've mentioned before that members of the class are expected to carry or keep sort of a sketching Journal. I've mentioned that at the beginning of each class he asks how long we've sketched since the last meeting. On Thursdays, the instructor has what he calls “Sketch book Thursdays”. All those who want to share turn their horses around and open up their sketchbooks and then everyone meanders around the classroom kind of adjudicating the sketches and they are supposed to give a little background on what you've drawn. I don't want to be at overachiever so I usually just show one of my sketches and hold the others in case I need to come up with a sketch quickly I can pull one of those in the back of my sketchbook out. I'm sure I've talked about making my bookmarks in the past. I'm always considering making more burro bookmarks. I really have a fantasy that people would love these bookmarks to the point where that even pay for. I would go to a farmers market upset up my little stand and have bookmarks made or do bookmarks as people wait. I've even thought about strong-arming my my FB friend, Lori to get me in one of her art functions, they always have a Christmas bazaar where local talent can list their products for sale. I don't know if this really happened but maybe. Anyway, last week after I finished my one sketchbook offering I made another. I found an old saltshaker in one of my cigar boxes that I have in my art area. It's a funny little pieces ceramic I actually thought I had broken it and then realized it was just a small saltshaker, a red burro and I love red burros. So I sketched this guy and actually I don't think it turned out too bad however it kind of look like a burro like a real burro and not one of my fanciful burros of the apocalypse. I don't know if I need to make a decision on how I want to do my artwork. This afternoon I was outside in the heat doing my reading assignment for next class meeting. It was talked about drawing from the left side of the brain which is kind of cool but begin to get a little worried that I might lose my ability to do the brut art but I like so much.

Like everything else the lesson here is for me just to accept what I can do, play it by ear enjoy my arteven if no one else does…

A Maze D

I don't mean to paint a picture that my life is all consumed by Intro to Drawing but it kind it is right now and I don't know if that's good or bad. The good part is I really enjoy going to class Tuesdays and Thursdays for the inordinate amount of time which I do. The class gets me out of coffee cliques, and gives me a noble excuse for rescheduling doctors appointments, physical therapy appointments and such the only problem is that also hinders some lunch appointments. People in my universe forget that I'm involved in this quasi-endemic pursuit that takes all my morning two days the week.

I'm almost beside myself. We got our new assignment today which is we've got a draw a maze.this is already turned into a nightmare project. Maybe I'm overreacting a little bit but were back to drawing lines with vanishing points that have to be very exact. I don't do exact very well. Thank gosh I can blame a lot of this on my disability (which I think is bull because even before my accident I can remember neatness is not one of my strong points). The image that I've included with this posting is very poor quality but you can see the lines that I've drawn so far. On the right-hand side supposed to make 19 progressively getting smaller squares and I think something like 10 on the other side. The image that you're seeing is my second stab at this project after about two hours of work. This is called the incremental's it is the basic basic part of the project. After I get all the incremental's done that I actually start building the maze. It's so weird to sit there and try to do this work and see my classmates all progressing so much quicker than me. I sometimes wonder if this maze project will be the end of my short-lived drawing class. I hope not hope to think I'm stronger than this. Bear with me please go make a bunch of excuses or some excuses as to why having these problems. First and foremost is the size of the tablet that I have my paper clipped to. It's so big that I cannot reach parts of the tablet and I have to move the paper art clipboard around so I can reach. For instance if I have to draw the long line that sets up for the vanishing point stuff lines never straight and never just one line because I keep lifting the pencil off the paper because I can't reach. I also cannot hold the pen very strongly which then wanders all over the paper making for very messy project. I indirectly visited with my instructor regarding these issues. He nodded his head as he seemed to understand. I was able to show to him that I understood the concept of drawing the line to perspective is against smaller and more distant. That might be as good as it gets. I'm going to work on this project a good part of this weekend I believe. Interesting to note that I am not the only person who is really challenged with this assignment. Will probably also have next week to work on this project partially because next week's the Fourth of July holiday and we will not be meeting that day. So, I've committed to do the best that I can. My maze I know already will not look very good. It will look messy and slovenly I just have to accept that. I'm happy as a clam to know the principles and concepts and traditions of drawing but I still think in the end of been a draw like I draw and draw to enjoy…

Technology Bleccc

It's hard to say where this blog or posting needs to go whether it fits well in this blog are the small blog I've created about by drawing class events, activities our experiences. Either way I'm writing and that's all it matters. Ever since last week I've been slaving over a piece where we brought in three objects that are cause I related to each other and we had to draw them in the project was due today by midnight are whenever before class tomorrow. I think part of the lesson was not only submitting the work but submitting the work through E-portfolio, a piece of software I guess attached to my Salt Lake community college student account. If it works, and I'm sure that it does, it's pretty cool giving the student a chance to post work in the E portfolio that been the instructor can grade. The process is really frustrating though. It's hard enough setting up the account, canvas account which I did it took a bit of time and a trip to the basement of the library for the tech heads hang out that run canvas and other pieces of software that students use. Truly I had not really paid much attention to my online presence aside from just trying to get myself into a class. I was kind of shocked when I finally got into my account and realized the instructor had been posting all kinds stuff that I had no idea was going on. There are a number of ongoing assignments that I guess we should be working on all kinds of dry and projects which I think we do as we get close to the end of the semester summer semester. That's just one part of this posting. What I really wanted to post about was the fact that reality is finally caught up with a nightmare I used to have when I was in college.

I had this dream two or three times a semester that it was the last week or so of class and I realized I had classes I had never attended for one reason or another. I sort of forgot that I had taken these courses and all of a sudden I had the impending doom that the testis the next day and I'm not ready. Luckily I would wake and be so glad that it was only a dream. Now however reality is taken it sick turn and that's exactly where I'm at. All these assignments that I should be working on but I haven't. There's been no discussion in class nor have I heard the other students in class talking about these other assignments. In class on Tuesday the instructor indicated that we had to upload our sketches onto the account that I discussed earlier. I of course tried to do that Tuesday evening and could not figure it out. Today I actually took time out and went to the college to the basement of the tech center and worked with their support and we think we at least got the image posted but I didn't write the comments that are supposed to accompany the up -lift. Hopefully, that will do now get some sort of partial credit. And again, bottom line it doesn't matter I'm auditing this class! But it just feels what I need to be doing and I want to know how to do it just because all the other kids are doing it…

From A Distance…

I could've placed money on what happened today. Even with all my planning as far as contacting home health yesterday afternoon, just before the closing time, and once again wanting to get some kind of assurance that 1. I was covered for services this morning and 2. My personal becoming it 5:45 AM as we talked about. Just in the side note, I was thinking this was really early however the more I thought about the more I realize that 545 is almost 6 AM to 6 AM was just two hours away from my deadline that I had to be a class at 8 AM. I figured I had enough time built into this equation. But like I was leading into with the intro, even though they totally assured me every thing was covered, yesterday afternoon know what he showed up at 545 I started getting concerned at 6:15 AM and I called the office who in turn began the process began contacting Annette. As the clock rounded to 6:30 AM then to 6:45 AM I begin to realize that soon it would be 7 AM with just an hour before class time.

Annette showed up about 6:55 AM however I was not angry and not even stressed really and I was quite surprised at that. It would be no big deal if I was late getting to class or if I didn't even show up at all. It doesn't matter, I a.m. auditing. Still it's not good for but I just want to get through the morning with this person and see how well this team up is going to work. I had worked with Annette before, I just barely remember our interaction but it wasn't bad and it was doable. I was nice and Annette appreciated that and worked as hard as she could. I was kind surprised that we finished up around 10 minutes to 8 AM. I grabbed a banana for sustenance and tore out of the apartment with my backpack and my portfolio balanced on my feet I made good time getting to class about 10 minutes late.

I was not the only one late however which is kind of reassuring. The instructor, Brendan, is doing his usual Tuesday morning thing this week's question was what was the favorite movie over the weekend and how much drawing were we able to do. The task for the day was to work on the project we worked on Thursday. Brendan is also found a video for us to watch on “line weight” a concept that I'm finding pretty interesting. Produce more studying this area. But it was cool because he hooked up is laptop to the overhead projector and it was like have enough film in school. Nothing I love better than the surprise of a film during class. Somehow was kind of a reprieve. Usually the films were in history or science they were usually all right usually a little hokey but certainly ate up class time. The film is like a mini vacation. Today, the film was the YouTube presentation as I've indicated which ran in the background as we were supposed to be working on our projects. I enjoyed the film which surprised me I really enjoyed learning from the film which really made the whole class worthwhile this morning. I had to do some major rework on my project and is not very good but it's good enough for what I needed for. And really from a distance, the work doesn't look too bad, no. Not bad at all.

Nothing Much… Just Monday

Sometime yesterday I realized that I'm going into the last week of June 2019! If you count three months of summer being June July and August, then this summer is a third over how can that be? Today, the temperatures finally maybe getting back to the 80s which feels great. I should be out doing stuff but I'm hanging out in the apartment worrying about not having drawn enough for that class tomorrow. This is okay, like nothing is going to happen to me for not trying enough but just the same I want to be able to answer truthfully that I spent some time drawing this weekend. I did about 45 minutes to an hour on Sunday night. That's not enough however I need to be drawing more. My problem is I don't know what to draw. I know tomorrow we'll get some assignment for the week and that will be okay but I need to figure out what to draw on my own time. Like this weekend I found an image on my hard drive of some rock formations in southern Utah I think they're called the three sisters. I really didn't do a lot of detail I spent the time just outlining and it came out better than anticipated.

So, I want to play around with portraits and I thought that if I could find a class at this community college am going to now are at the University in animation or cartooning that would be sort of fun. What I like about this class is how it's making me actually do some drawing and the instructors very supportive which makes me actually want to draw more and that's what I need and tell I get into it big time. I don't know if that's going to happen but we'll see.

However, back to the calendar. June is basically gone. July (here in Utah has two major holidays) ensure that month to go quickly too leaving just August! There's hope that September and October may be fall like an enjoyable but I'm coming up on another year. One more year in the 60s then I shift over to the 70s what am I to do? No matter how it looks I can't turn back the clock maybe I just have to accept and be happy with what I have at the current time. I better get hustling. Have drawings to do, things to write, food to eat and people to talk to. I still have a lot on my plate to consider. I need to get rid of my wheelchair van. Maybe consider what new classes I might take continue my workout regimen and figure out some other physical things I can do particularly swimming. I wish I knew a way to do that. Anyway, I've got a figure out something to draw before tomorrow which is gone to the rest of my afternoon and most likely tonight. Perhaps, I really need to just go out and sit in the sun for a little bit just to make sure I've used up my quota sunshine for the day…

In Heavy Syrup

As I believe I have mentioned in the past I've really become addicted to going over and getting my food box every Saturday that I can. I guess I'm eligible to is I'm getting the materials every week but for the first year or so that I was here at the senior living complex I did not take advantage of the food bank which just across the street from our building. There are three times a week the food bank is open for this area. Each one of those days the food bank is open is up for two hours. I go on Saturday morning when the bank is open from 10 AM to 12 noon. I usually have to wait in line anywhere from 5 to 20 to 30 minutes but it's been very rare but I've waited 30 minutes.

I hate to miss food bank because I might miss some really great stuff is that weird or what? Selection been on one of those dollar stores. Because they deal primarily in close out items to get a good price on the items but you will never see those outings again. That's not quite true anymore but it was like that for some time anyway food bank is sort of like that. One week it might be ice cream, or buttermilk or cottage cheese. There's all kinds of canned goods that's to be expected. Every corporation, school and religious affiliation has food drives for everybody brings in the food they don't want in their closet. That's okay don't get me wrong I'm not making fun of it – – well kind of – – the food is appreciated really is. However, I've learned to just say no to much of the items when I go into the food bank and they start asking me if I want this I want that. I don't know that's what other people go through because you go into the food bank all by yourself (almost like a religious rite) and you do your transition with the volunteers at the counter. Like I said a lot of the food items are can items the been donated. Where the cans volunteer placed on the counter for me to choose I noticed immediately because it had “in Heavy Syrup”. I snapped it up it was peaches sliced in heavy syrup. I didn't even believe they still canned items in heavy syrup.

Once a month it's food box day at the place where I live. Many of the individuals who rent here are eligible for food boxes from the food bank. I don't know how it differs from the actual food bank in the back of the senior center but it seems different. That's why first noticed cans of peaches, slices, in a lite syrup. Now, to be honest I confess I have not really eaten any of those peaches or pears are whatever with lite syrup but I can only imagine the speech is only taste a fraction of what they should at least in my estimation. We used to bottle our own peaches during the summer and I love that fruit on cold winter nights with cottage cheese and toast. Try it some winter evening and you'll love it I guarantee it. All I do know is that orange juice, tomato juice and even apple juice all tasted weird when I first started drinking some of this beverage provided by the federal government. What I've figured out was the fruit juices except for tomato hardly had any sugar in the syrup and the tomato juice with salt free. I thought it was pretty interesting how often these cans of fruit and beverages ended up on the Sharing Shelf.I found that if I used synthetic sweeteners the beverage tasted great released a lot better and the same way with the tomato juice if I started adding salt flavor returned. However I must admit I was somewhat shocked how much salt I had to shake into the beverage to make it palatable the really was a problem with how much regular foods are adulterated to be accepted by the public as tasty and good.

Knowing this however does not and will not stop me from enjoying this rogue can of sliced peaches which found its way into my food bank last Saturday morning, I just don't think I can wait till winter…

Hunting Dreams

I woke up this morning haunted by the faces of the kids in my drawing class. I don't know any of them really a couple of them the speak to more than others but I'm a stranger these folks, I'm the old guy and probably just some I'm the old angle guy but really am I? Especially with the revelation of my new family,this whole actual family thing is flex so kind of weird. I don't know how to refer to myself in my angle? (I don't think so) and my Hispanic? Am my Latino?am I indigenous American which is not necessarily anymore the same as native American? Well anyway that's irrelevant to this days post. What I do know is that I am the old guy. If I'm not I still think I can pass for white.

It's not like we were assigned seating positions when the class started everyone more or less just kept sitting on the same horses each day they came in. The guy sits next to me is one of the Nicks.I believe there are three Nicholas,Nicholes and Nico they all answer to “Nick”. One is a young tough or at least I think he is. He is quiet and brooding even when called upon by Brendan the instructor. He doesn't seem knowledge me much however I've noticed that most the time when I drop something (and I drop a whole lot of stuff through a class. Like a lot of kids in this class when the class began felt like taking the class was a big pain something they are being forced to do which I guess was true to a certain extent. There's Paola with the blue hair there Sabrina a returned missionary who seems to be waiting around to being beatified Abby and Gabby ,Sarah, Anahi our Middle Eastern and Asian representatives, Joshua, Molly, Reagan, Godfrey and Caleb there's probably others I forgot but that's basically it quite is scattering of the world represented in our little group. We all sit in basically the same spots at every meeting. There's been some pairing up that's gone on. Some of the class seems pretty tight with each other to the point when if someone does not show up for class unexpectedly Brenden will ask one of the other students that he knows is tight with the missing who often can offer up an excuse for their absence.

It was weird how I saw all their faces this morning as I initially woke. I was intrigued specifically with Nico, the Hispanic young Brando. On items we brought in to draw I was so surprised that he brought a guitar. I'm intrigued how hard all these folks are working to produce their drawings and I admit I also am trying hard to produce a drawing that kind of surprises me for the amount of work I'm putting in for zero credit. After all I'm just the old guy with questionable origins

Movie Darkness

One of the things I just totally enjoy most about going to movies is being in the theater totally enclosed in the dark and (with a great movie or even a good movie) you become totally engulfed in the universe/reality of the movie those of the best. For me, I like coming out of the reality periodically throughout the film usually and remember other events going on my life mature good. Like when I would go to let's say one of the Bond movies or Star Wars, these films were usually offered during the holidays. And during the James Bond movies for the most part I was an adolescent and I would surface out of the movie just enough think about other good things going on relative to the holiday season. This kind of works the same way even when the movies not so good or that you've got things pressing on your mind that brings you out of the “reality” of the movie.

Couple of days ago I went to one of the screenings offered by my local public radio station. One of the shows, Radio West, offers a screening usually once a month of the local film director or producer or something that's all touchy-feely, cutting-edge or controversial subject matter. I've gone to one or two of these before and really kind of like them on a number of different levels. The best part is that these films are offered free to the community and their screen at the Rose Wagner theater for the performing arts. One a Salt Lakes cute little venues that makes us think we are all grown up, as a community, like the East or West Coast cultural centers. If there was a drawback to these free screenings it would be the fact they are offered at night usually beginning at 7 PM. It took me quite a while to build the courage and faith in the transit system's Night Ride to use that system to get me home following the screening. The Rose Wagner's downtown Salt Lake in the cultural centers of the community. This area is served well transit wise by both the coaches as well as light rail and I guess Front Runner for that matter. Really, all I have to do is get to 217, route 217 outbound and I will take me straight to my apartment complex. Even at 9 PM there still a number of routes operational that meet my needs that go until 11 or so even if there one hour headways which is a long time between buses.

Trust. Trust that the transit system is going to hold up is when you're out after hours in a power chair with only so much power packed into a battery, even when fully charged, you really dependent on the system you really got a hope that system holds up. So, as I sit in the movie/screening there's a part of my mind that keeps pulling me out and saying “my get a be out of here in time?” X infinity. The screening this week was like that. It was the MTV one which is really good but I totally kept thinking it's going to be 9 o'clock, it's going to be dark and scary as I race for the transit center are the bus stop on wherever I got ago hacked onto a ride to get me South to my home. Last time I did this was in January or February and it was cold but I pulled it off wonderfully. I watch the clock I feel the time pressure as I watch the screening no matter what I don't want to miss that bus/train. If I feel I've got everything out of the screening I'm going to get I will leave before the films over and never yet have I stayed for the question-and-answer segment of the screening but that's okay usually those Q&A are for the self-involved. This is what I was thinking as they film ended last Wednesday and I bolted for the door and was blown away by warm atmosphere in the fact that it was still light the sun had barely set. I was totally overjoyed it wasn't dark at all like traveling in the afternoon. I was coming out of the dark universe into the light of day…

Zephyr Club

I came into this town in 1984, my dedicated readers know this, of course came into town to begin a new job and mainly follow my family who had to the Salt Lake area from Blackfoot Idaho. I felt extremely lucky to have found a job. Aside from her brother and a few cousins living way out if Sandy Utah I didn't know anyone in Salt Lake I soon got to know my work mates at the the pilloried center. They were/are a good crew in fact I married one for a couple years. Even though I was in my 30s when I moved to this town I really was fairly sheltered. Sadly, I felt that Salt Lake was the “big” city. And to my good fortune my work colleagues were will and and show me the ropes. Needless to say they felt it was somewhat important expose me to Salt Lake's nightlife at least to some extent. One of the places I remember most fondly was a place called the Zephyr club on the corner West Temple of 300 S.

The Zephyr club was my first real nightclub. Because the Utah liquor laws you could only buy liquor at clubs if you were a member. I really had no passion for becoming an continual member. Club memberships had to be renewed yearly. However, bar owners got around this by selling muted memberships for like a month at a time for five bucks or something like that. I did not go to Zephyr probably more than five or six times mainly to meet up with workmates after hours. I went to couple significant concerts at the Zephyr small gigs compared to the more traditional concerts held at the salt Palace. I even danced a couple times on the small floor and that was the byword for the Zephyr club. place seemed like it was packed probably because it was so small. Kim, Denise, Deb and me were sort of a crowd at the time. Denise was the driver she tended to organize a number of after hours events for the crew. It was fun in the early days. We regularly went out to dinner (it seemed) and out to places like the Zephyr. The three of us were single Denise is married but long to live in the club scene or something like that. We like to think we were cutting edge independent living folks in Salt Lake are probably even Utah though there is three other independent living centers scattered about the state but none of them had the Zephyr club and access to the Salt Lake bands like we did. We were the flagship of independent living system in this state in those days.

We are old now. Kim and Deb still work together in fact they are still working. I of course am quite retired and work hard at doing nothing all day (apologies to BTO). Denise, I don't know where she went she just kind of vanished and that's probably enough said about Denny—I miss the girl and all that she was and how she's doing fine. The building the Zephyr was housed in still stands but it's an eyesore and long abandoned but I can only imagine the ghosts that rome that building at night…

With Apologies To Chuck Dickens… Personal Transit No More

Do you remember that scene from Dickens Christmas Carol,where Scrooge is visited by his late business partner Jacob Marley who is doomed to drag behind him the chains and vestiges of wealth he spent his life foraging for all the rest of eternity. The last couple of years I have felt this way living here at Plymouth View Apartments. I own a big white van with a wheelchair lift and hand controls. I no longer drive, I no longer have a license but yet I have this big white albatross hanging around my neck.

Y'all might remember that my ex-wife did not want this vehicle at the time of our split up and quite literally forced be to take the vehicle. I was kind of shocked when I found that she never liked the vehicle and hated the vehicle to drive “it's a big old truck!”. And you know what Dianne is absolutely right I cannot say that I blame her now. Anyway, I didn't want the vehicle. So I parked the vehicle in the back parking lot of the apartment complex. I've kept the vehicle registered all this time (our apartment complex will not allow an unregistered vehicle to take up space and appreciate and in many cases disintegrate in the back). Again they for readers will remember where I almost had the vehicle sold couple years ago and did not register the vehicle when it expired also letting my insurance lapse. So when I did register the vehicle I did not immediately re-ensure the vehicle and when I did I got thrown into the high risk pool ending up with a monthly insurance bill of more than $100! In the time I have been here I've only used the vehicle about five times. Three of those times for the family reunion and a couple other times when Mark and I went out. Do not drive the vehicle enough to keep the battery charged.

When Dana, my home health caregiver, left the agency to go to work at University Hospital her boss and business owner Joe provided a home healthcare until he could find the right person for me. Joe is a great guy. I'm glad that I found him when I desperately needed to find care. He is growing his company, I'm totally impressed, and has been sharing with me some of his ideas and what he's doing. He's been very patient listening to me go on about my issues and problems particularly related to owning a vehicle that is an albatross. Granted I am not ready for Medicaid at this point in time but he assures me when that time comes I will survive fairly well. In some ways better than now since I only have home healthcare three hours a week I came to the realization, in my discussions with Joe, that I really could get rid of the van and if I had the personal well and invested that hundred dollar plus a month payment into a “transportation”fund and continue to use public transit as I do now I would be developing a personal buffer financially both for transit medical and when the regular transit system isn't an option.

Of course I'd like to sell the vehicle for a couple thousand and start that buffer system but I don't know if that's logical or even realistic but I am going to give it a shot. If that does not work and going to donate it to other private nonprofits that's always crying to get a vehicle donated. Either way I'll shuffle off this mortal coil of personal transit ownership.

I Can See Clearly Now…

This summer class: intro drawing continues to dredge up feelings that I thought were long gone. It's a long story but I was up really early this morning and had to have my bathing and a bathroom maintenance done today as opposed to yesterday because of failures on the area of home health. Anyway, I knew I had to be up early so I think I'd is naturally woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep. And the reason I was up so early was because today is my intro to drawing class and it meets at 8 o'clock in the morning so I had to make sure I was all done by that time… Which I was. I was a little frustrated trying to get my clipboard into the portfolio but I eventually did so and zoomed out the door drive my manual chair all the way to the college as opposed to waiting for the bus and trying to wrestle the portfolio through the narrow doors.

The construction still is rampant at the building where our class meets. It's quite a challenge to get from the only ramp that accesses the building, now through the woodworking shop to the other side of the building where our classmates which I did when I got there assign a just gone up on the door “Class canceled”!! I don't know why the could've been construction issues are something dastardly happen to the instructor Brendan but no class today and I felt liberated. It's not like I would do anything and I have to confess that I did not immediately call my buddy David to see if they are having a meeting today downtown. I felt a little guilty blowing off my meeting. I really felt I needed to use my time to go over to Costco get my glasses repaired. I was also worried because I didn't plug my power chair in last night and went to bed and was frightened I didn't have enough power (actually I knew I had enough power but just felt a little uneasy) so I spent the morning working out and reading with my chair plugged in and me leaning back so my butt does not get hurt too much.

I got my glasses a Costco just over three years ago. I knew they had a set of frames a couple weeks ago when I stopped him to ask about cost for a new set of glasses versus just a new set of frames.I was surprised how busy the glasses shop was for Tuesday morning. However, I got in line and when my turn came had the girl dig up the frames, they were still there thank goodness and the price was 80+ dollars. I jumped on it and had her start the process. I put the expenditure on my charge card and hope for the best. Ever since the frames fell apart on Sunday I was fortunate to have the glasses I wore before the broken pair stashed in my drawer for backup. I've got the new glasses, I think I look sort of good. I still need to get new lenses when these first days but I'll wait until my ship comes in…

Shoes Blues

For no specific reason I'm becoming more and more conscious of my one and only pair of shoes. I don't know how long I've had them I imagine over 10 years. Don't think I fully appreciated the shoes when I first got them or should I say when Dianne first got the shoes. I pretty much delegated everything Dianne, she did such a great job. That girl knows how to shop I sure miss that. Anyway, I never even realized the shoes had a name, actually pretty funny I found this user actually Brooks shoes which I guess are a fairly famous shoe product. As I said, I've noticed recently the shoes are looking pretty well worn if they can look worn since I don't really walk in them. But I've noticed more and more the shoes tend to come off my feet easier and easier. I mean when I spasm. I don't think I'm spasming more these days but I think I'm losing the shoes more often.

This morning, when dressing, I think I lost both shoes after I had finally got my shorts up and on. The process is with the use of a leg lifting strap and one of my sticks I lift one leg up put lotion on my feet and put the shoe on. I cinch the shoes tied as I can on the foot which is somewhat difficult trying to reach my feet I can usually get a better grip a cinch on my right foot. I do the same process than for the left foot which is a bit more challenging primarily because my scoliosis and the way it twists my upper body away from my feet – – I know it sounds weird and it's even more weird to witness in real life – – but I have a difficult time cinching up the shoe on that foot I can never get this cinch as tight as I'd like therefore the shoe is in jeopardy it seems all the time of coming off. And that's what happened this morning when I push my leg off of my other leg the shoe tends to come off. I am also wondering how much of this is related to my new cushion which worries me a little bit since it's brand-new. It kind of provides better protection for my but but for some reasons pushed me forward and splaying my legs apart. This of course works directly on my ankles which stresses the feet and kind of rolls the feet in some cases right out of the shoes.

On a more vain level and begin to wonder how pathetic the shoes make me look. Remember I would issue summer and winter, without socks with shorts. In my mind I reason that in spring summer and possibly fall people don't notice my feet all that much are the fact that I'm wearing these shoes but in the winter people always look to see what my feet are doing because I'm wearing shorts which is a freaky thing to do in cold weather. I guess I should wear socks, that might make the shoes look a little better. I don't know shoes wear out in the same sense as able-bodied people wear the shoes out. Of course is no wear and tear on the soul of the shoe. But you can certainly see where I pull the Velcro straps over there seems to be a little wear and tear their maybe the straps don't cling as much as they used to as well it's not be part of the problem either way I'm thinking about investing in new shoes. I hate to buy anything I always have buyers remorse. I have always realized the shoes were of fairly good quality but I did not realize just how good. Like I said I googled Brooks Shoes today and found they run around $150! $150 for shoes? I've always been impressed with Dianne's courage to spend money. I wish I could. Dianne has skills that are amazing mean she bought the shoes off the Internet over the mail. I don't think I could spend $150 for a pair shoes even if the shoes lasted the 10 years and possibly longer. So I guess it's time to hit the cheapie shoe stores and see what I can get away with wearing and for how long – I figure 25 to 30 bucks is a good figure for gimp shoes that never have to be walked in…

Weekend Marks

I spent a good part of the weekend working on the project of the teapot. It's really hard I ask you may two versions more one on another large piece of paper and one in my small sketchbook. Shockingly the sketchbook came out much better than the larger attempt. I don't know what this tells me that kind of reinforces my suspicion that I work on the big pad is frustrated because of the size and my inability to reach the far portions of the art space available sigh. Today is busy and got immediate out in the community at lunchtime but I plan to spend time on the project erasing clean up the darkening lines. Still not anywhere close to what I'd like to hand it tomorrow but tomorrow's coming sometimes you just have to eat the fish that you catch that's all you got. But I'm pleased with the hours I put in the vendors to but for the best for me… Is that too selfish.

Go Daddy-o Go

Donor Dad

I really have mixed feelings this Father's Day almost bordering on confusion. As my dedicated readers know last summer with the help of my daughter we tripped into my actual birth family! It's not like my world turned upside down or roses and unicorns prancing around with rainbows everywhere and sugarplum bouquets. It wasn't like that at all. Through the magic of science, DNA, Internet and Facebook one day I was adopted orphan next day I'm an adopted orphan with a found birth family.

Every corner of this cube has been astounding. One of the most astounding cubicle corners has been what I thought was totally impossible that is a perfect knowledge of my birth father. Over the years, not that I really put a lot of thought into this whole concept, I have thought of numerous possibilities of what a father would be like – – not that it mattered because the dad I got was great – – but still you wonder and you thought you'd never ever be able to track something like that down but volia there it is everything out the open. Not only did I find my birth mother but my birth father it seems they were always together except when mom would get pregnant being knocked up by my dad and should go off deliver the child and then give it away multiple times! Seriously this is a made-for-TV movie still wrapping my head around it. It seems that the good old dad kind of forced her into this weird behavior. It seems he kept one or two of us(myself not included). So I guess… I really don't know what to think but I'm hard-pressed to really want to celebrate him more than just being a a sperm donor.

I was kind of intrigued to hear some of my brothers and sisters Father's Day acknowledgments. I have two admit it's kind of weird to express a number of qualifiers to someone's behavior then say that you miss him profoundly in almost the same sentence. More than one of the siblings expressed such feelings. I don't know maybe it's the Stockholm syndrome or something akin to it (excuse the pun). I really only spoke to two of my brothers one of which was the “the keeper” the firstborn, and the other is a little bit younger than me, retired detective out of Colorado is a pretty good guy. Our lives have a lot of similarities except for I was adopted to a Mormon family and he was adopted into a Roman Catholic. He considers his adopted family is “real family” just as I do mine. I have not quizzed him regarding good old dad maybe we'll get around to that someday. Resort are still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. Will be in pretty civilized. I think I'm pretty safe and writing these thoughts and feelings in this blog since nobody really reads it. And even if perhaps the only one who might take offense I don't know my older brother Antonio (the keeper) I'm sorry but I just sort of had to throw some of these feelings out since it is Father's Day. There's still not been any definitive plans about some sort of a family get-together sometime. I think I would like that to meet these people these siblings, we probably could've woven together a hell of a family at least a couple baseball teams if nothing else.…

Saturday Fun

Another near perfect day weatherize. There was so good sleep in this morning. I totally luxuriated in the clean sheets put on the bed yesterday when Gail is here. Just something about clean sheets that makes sleeping in divine. However, by 7 AM I was ready to be up and at am for the day. My but felt pretty good but I was sure to put lotion on his I was not sure how long is going to be up in the chair. I intensely did not plug in my chair last night thinking I would not go anywhere today but is is listing to NPR wind itself up the 7 o'clock hour the disc jockey enumerated under the “Things To Do” section about the chock this double at the Gateway Mall downtown. I figure to myself that sense I can just drive my chair to the bus stop thing go to the train and the train drops me off pretty much at the mall have more than enough power for the day.

I actually cooked breakfast this morning but it was a great breakfast a three egg omelette and I spent a lot of time processing onion, garlic, sausage patty, spam slice, mushrooms and of course the three egg. I love the way this makes my apartment smell oh yes and green pepper. I was so involved in preparing my meal that I completely jetted food bank figuring I had more than enough food especially frozen chicken and pork. I've made the decision to hit the Gateway and the chock Festival and I was excited. I even wore my Dead Pool shirt.

Enjoyed my time on the buses of course then the train however Iis get confused on the green line on where it branches out to the airport. I got off the train way before the Gateway Mall. I cruised around that whole area just down from the mall. You know I knew this event was a fundraiser so he I should've known better to have any high hopes. As I got to the mall there were of course more and more bunches of people wandering around in a matrix denial of reality. There like 100 artists all seeming to be in some process of putting the art onto the sidewalk and of course the sidewalk was the mall the Gateway Mall. They had blocked off a number of essential streets of the mall and had the contestants right in the street which means having to find someplace like a driveway to to safely access the street. The don't have real curbs but they do have those sloping curves which makes it kind of weird when you're in a power chair. Of course people were milling around going from one drying to the next totally in my way. I had to be extra careful that I didn't run over adults and more careful that I didn't mangler crush any children or infants in strollers though there were temptations. The sprinklers on the class or functional and of course I can't believe how many families/mothers drank the kids down here to run through the free sprinklers that really is the operative word “free” this town is great for anything remotely family-oriented and free you have tons of people show up. Lots of high-end strollers and wagons – – those little red wagons with free wooden sides that kid sit in to be in my way.

Have I ever mentioned that I hate fundraisers while I do in this is so obviously a fundraiser I want to gag but I was nice. I looked interested I even took images of interesting renditions. I wish I'd gotten the better shot of “Groot”. This will in a rigorous was taking an image are doing something with the Groot I got a part of him but he was obviously my favorite.

It has been years actually since I've been to the Gateway, I was really looking forward to Hot Dog on a stick. Actually I was on my main drives partaking in the chalk Festival. I was going get the dog on a stick guess what? Dog on a stick is gone the food court is gone several dorky place as replaced Hot Dog On A Stick. As heartbroken this was enough for me to end my day at the chalk Festival. This kind of open and run into somebody I knew that that was a no go. It was a long day I got home before 5 PM but just barely actually I got home a little after four and I think about it just in time to catch the early news. The big thing is I did something this weekend. I went out and cause I socialized and it was a good day…