Just Drive She Said

I gotta a call earlier this afternoon from a guy who was trying to find some supports for his alcoholic x-wife. He had been bouncing round different providers all day and finally ended up calling us. The guy was worn out and frustrated by our interfacing. In fact earlier in the conversation, I sensed he was real close to exploding. He had called all he places I referred him to stating these folks did not care and would not help. I guessed they had told him there was nothing they could do for his X. I affirmed what the alcohol rehabs had told him and went on to explain that until his X had hit “rock bottom” there was not anything anyone could do. I explain that I had work as an alcohol rehabilitation counselor twenty some years ago—how I had been amazed at he incredible people who came through the Center. People who were accomplished, driven to success and had amassed fortune after fortune after fortune but, in the end, had drunken their success away. These people did this over and over again until finally one night (or day) something clicked, and they figured they were “broken” they could sink no further. If they were going to continue own with their life they would have to turn their life over to a “higher power”. Of course this is AA verbage but it works, the Big Blue Book, sponsorship and endless AA meetings. But it seems to work. My afternoon caller seemed like a nice guy, though a bit of an enabler. He was having a hard time accepting the “hard ball” attitude of the alcohol programs in this area. The X is going through a divorce and then I found that my caller was going through a divorce of his own. I could almost sense he was about ready to jump back into his marriage of dependency. I forced myself to stay out that conversation. By the end of the call he was less angry then he had started the call. He was still confused and stuck right in the middle of this alcoholic spiders web. I think he is a enabler, probably always had been. He is a rescuer too( did I not just sort of say that?). I doubt he is ready to let his X hit bottom just yet—sounds like there are two marriages to finish first, then one last flush or dependant enablement abuse then if the X is still alive the enabler has seen the part he has played in the whole affair then maybe they can get into rehab of one sort or another and just maybe enjoy the last years of their lives.

Tonight I am supporting Dianne at the viewing of her therapist. I am hoping against hope we will be able to get something downtown to eat after the viewing. I realistically feel this is not going to happen. Dianne is driving the van into the city, the viewing is way down on first temple( not far from my work). I think my main job is to drive us both home after the event. But we shall see.