Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Trust and a Back--up Plan !!

I do not know what I'm going to do. This afternoon after I've gotten home from my trip downtown to attend weekly board meeting I was cleaning up apartment of little bit. I had a bag for the trash that I need to take to the dumpster so I zipped out the back door roaring up to the dumpster and got rid of the trash. I was headed back into the Apartments my chair lurched to a stop everything on the control box with dead no lights at all! This is the first time that I remember this happening, a complete system failure. There are some things totally disabling about a power chair instantly dying. you realize immediately just how easily disabled you are. Not only can you yourself physically not move neither can the chair. And what is  more, had not planned to stay out any longer than I have to so I had no protection against the cold. I'm at least the switch back and forth hopefully thinking that whatever was wrong with the chair this will correct it did not. I had to get out of the cold weather the only thing I can figure out was calling the resident advisor, my friend Jim. Jim was home I was so glad I need assistance and he was on his way.

When Jim got out to the dumpster with me, explain to him how to disengage the clutches on my chair which allowed me to Freewheel. he did so and managed to push me back into my apartment which is no small feat for someone who is still healing from a hip replacement. Luckily I was in the apartment which  was warm. Again, let me explain that plays you're in the chair that runs on power and the power is gone, you're nothing more than a paper weight. You just sit there and you have to figure out what to do next. I keep a power charger in my room next to the TV with the idea that I can sit and watch television as I charge my chair. I did not even think I knew I  had a problem. Jim on the other hand push me right over to the charger and we plugged in and sure enough that's reset the chair and everything was back to normal.

I was out all over the city today. This power failure could have happened anywhere. I don't know what happened if it can happen again. This really rattles my face in my power chair. I have course call Alpine Medical when I got in and related the problem to them it says the soon as they can take me to examine my chair and the problem is a week from tomorrow, the 8th day of February! So I'm going to run on faith until then...that's all I can do. One possible bright spot in this whole possible mess is one of the techs who called be back related that there is a reset button on the base of my chair. The tech felt that when  we plugged the chair into the charger, that action reset my chair. So, if this happens again between now and next Wednesday all I got to do is get someone to press this magic button.

I am not sure what this intermittent stopping means but I sure know through stopping sure shakes by faith in my and myself.  I am sure the stopping is an indicator of  something more severe. Even if the stopping is repairable what am I  going to do if they have to have the chair for an extended period of time? I better start figuring out a back up plan.

Monday, January 30, 2017


I live  at the end of the hall. So course, I live next to the door or exit.   The way the rooms are configured it's pretty interesting. the entrances to the four apartments are clustered together so it's fairly easy to hear when somebody is exiting their unit. having said that I'm also Intrigue that I hardly ever hear anyone leaving their units. Sometimes I have ran into folks as they are leaving apartment but it's very rare. I call these groupings clusters and easy have cluster is like a small community. Some day I want to have a ,little cluster dinner. I think that would be fun, maybe pizza,or spaghetti or something easy but fun.

In our little constellation at the end of the hall,besides me is a lady who is think might be a stroke survivor, another woman who has some disease process. she rarely leaves her unit but is nice enough. I do know her name. I would like to get to know her better at some point. then directly across the hall. from me, is a little guy older than me but I cannot recognize disability he is holder and speaks very very little English. I believe  he is Hispanic but I do not sink Mexican perhaps he might basque. I have yet to find out his name but we smile and not our heads to each other when we pass and speak our languages to each other when we must, trying to and hoping each other understands.

As many of you readers know I go by the handle of meadowlarkmark name a good friend of mine gave me years ago when we work together. Also  name diseases because I whistled all the time, whistling is about the only music I can really do well--or could do well When I was younger.  yesterday, Sunday's I was feeling pretty good. I just finished washing my clothes, had done the dishes and picked up around the apartment a little. I've been down to the common room to check the Sharing Shelf and was returning to my apartment. I was just about ready to open the door when the door opened  to my neighbors place across the halland I came smiled at me and rushed  me  with what  looked a bottle of cooking oil.

I really have to learn this guy's name. I think for the benefits of this article I'll call him Pete. Pete seemed excited and pointed to the bottle actually to the bottle's cap. It  me a few seconds to realize that he wanted me to show him how to open up the bottle are he wanted me to open the small vessel.
I took the bottle and sure enough it was cooking oil. at this point I wasn't totally sure that Pete could not figure out the lid.  the cap was kind of strange it was actually plastic and seals with a pull stub messed against the cap one had to really look close to detect it  and I was not sure this is what it was when I did see it. now you readers also know but I am quadriplegic at least have very little hand function so this was pretty entertaining Pete thinking I'm going to be able to pull this plastic cab.  I eventually got a thumbnail under the tab and pried the tab out good point for normal people would be able to yank it. I had to hold back my impulse to bring the bottle to my mouth and bite on the tab and yank but in fact, eventually that is exactly what I did. even if I was doing this axe I was concerned that Pete was going to think I had stepped / rolled over the line of acceptable help.  but to my surprise Pete was delighted but I had solved the mystery of opening the bottle.  Pete grab the bottle grinned and bowed to me more than once.
you could tell I had become his hero. Of course I really didn't do anything except bite down on something and pull.  This was a great little drama at the end of the hall in front of a constellation of doors. 

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Good Day!

Jen and Nichole OT students

Yesterday was a great day! Interesting cuz  I don' have that many great days anymore. Boy that sounds pretty negative but it's kind of true. I should take some responsibility and underlined the fact it is my responsibility to/make sure I have a good life.

Yesterday was cold, very cold but I was going out anyway because I have a occupational therapy appointment at 10 o'clock over at TOSH. I have to confess I was a little bit intimidated because I am having to use the 201 go over to the hospital. And of course the 201 runs on one hour headways– – actually that is not altogether true because from early on to about 930 am the 201 runs actually one half hour headways. I'm not waiting nearly as long even if the temperature is in the teens I can endure the chill and as it turned out, I only waited about five minutes before the 201 arrived.

Even though the day was cold the sky was clear and the sun on my face made me warm and hopeful. I got to TOSH with bout 30 minutes to spare. I thought about getting b and coffee and hanging out in the little  restaurant on the grounds but I did not want to have to hassle the time. It turned out I had some paper work to do anyway. I liked being there back int the Rehab/OT setting. I like to be doing something something that was beneficial to me. Soon, Kasey came to fetch me back to the therapy area. I was pleased to see Kasey  and even more so when he introduced to his occupational therapist students. I have found students always fun especially in the medical/rehabilitation settings. I have not had any therapy for months, not since my insurance run out and Kasey had to collect a lot more information. I was impressed how much of this information he allowed his students to collect. I was also impressed at how much I had gained far as range of motion of my arms. I don't know how accurate these measurements were begin with, I actually do not remember Casey measuring the last go round but I seemed to have progressed which made me feel good.

We did not to much therapy per se but explored options for making my apartment more accessible wwhich may me totally excited. Kasey and I seem share to share a common vision for my living space. There seems there might be some issues as far as authorization for home evaluation might be concerned that we're trying to put together some sort of modality which might muster. Kasey even suggested that should we not be able to get the evaluation covered by insuranc Kasey come on his own time. I think we should be able to get the project covered. This could really be great project maybe one last great projects of my days. It would take/could take a lot of work on my part , but what else do I have to do? I wouldlike to think Marion ( the CEO/Boss) of this outfit will be open minded as will as the other board members.

I  enjoyed my rehab hour, I came away with great hope. I was a little disappointed that we didn't set up next appointment I guess that will come. It was just great to have a good day out.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Hoping for the Best

One of the delights I am finding is being forced is having the taxes due.. In the past Dianne has always took this responsibility and like everything I've done in this relationship i've abdicated my responsibility to my former spouse.. But now looking at doing the taxes//my taxes for the really first-time my memory. I really am only having to collect information on two months the last two months that I was in a relationship Dianne and I find this is crazy hard for me. In fact doing this little bit of research wakings the anxietybeast of all my former years.. Lost glasses, lost math assignments,lost quartetrly reports, year end report and the list goes on and on and on. I just do not save data will.I am all the place, I'll change a file and make a zillion copies inas mayndifferent places. I become totallynconfused and soon end up hating a project I started out loving. These should not be that hard.

I spent five years of my life as a long-range plan for a small shelterted work center in Blackfoot Idaho. My main responsibility was the plan sewing contracts for the center. These were big ass military contracts and I would get so lost the minutia of the plan. There were numbers here their numbers there there were numbers everywhere I would have papers strewn all over my office. I would spend days on a contract and this is before computers that somehow the back of my mind I know I would have the same problem even with a system. I'm sure it is some sort of intellectual disability which I have battled all my days. Fortunately I've been able to sidestep similar type professions since every once in a while like this tax is season these boogies from my past rise up to haunt me. Tthere's not much I can do with these stressors down but just to go through the whole process as best I can and hope for the best. I I just finished such a challenge, I hope that I finished anyway, and since the results off to my ex-wife who hopefully weave the data into some sort of tax document for the IRS. I'm sure I've done 1 million things wrong that I will suffer some sort of repercussion for now I feel the weight of the world off my shoulders and am hoping for the best.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Until The End The Party

 I cannot believe it I just lost three fourths of two days blog! If I was a cursing man, I would be cursing up a blue storm. I was really cooking too. Crap x infinity. So now I get to begin again and make a better document then I had.

I think my aunt is dying. She is my favorite aunt, actually is the only aunt I have any kind of relationship with. I was contacted by my cousin last night basically telling me if I needed or wanted to say anything to my aunt is heading better be quick because my aunt is only hanging own for her birthday which is in a few weeks-6- the Cuz indicted she is only hanging on because the fam is having a major party for her and my dear aunt does not want to disappoint. and true to her Bloodlines slash family she would love to make it's dramatic exit.

  I think my cousin via texting and assured him I would be in contact with my aunt soon. I have not called her today but plan to in the next few minutes maybe. I really don't have transportation and I think I would have to take in the cab which is not such a big deal it just seems like it. we have more snow overnight and more snow is call for to day. I believe it's magic however at the bus stop yet away from om the facility to know if they're passable or not. We have had a lot snow in the last two weeks, all kinds of records are being shattered.

 The cab is a great idea I'm just surprised I have not this is her more in the last couple of months. now, I don't know how much time she has left and it sounds like it's very little. I just need to Saddle Up and go visit the lady.  I know this noble but deep down I think I'm using it as an excuse to avoid need more things I have to be doing such as taxes Social Security Administration an  figuring out my life of course I'm not going to go from point a to point B in the Going to go to the bus stop right the busted tracks right tracks to stop closest to my aunt's apartments and then take  the few remaining blocks to my aunt's. This is okay for the visit the trip I just don't know how to work with the funeral. I know I sound incredibly cheap and I am.. I've been wrestling with the taxes my portion all week I just don't know how muc the feds are going to take from the lump sum. I know logically whatever the feds take going to be okay for however much the cab Is going to cost, I am going to have more than enough for a bunch of taxicabs. It's all an excuse to put off the visit to a great person frightens me I think perhaps more annoying her demise is imminent she just waiting for the end of the party.

Monday, January 23, 2017

Tax Stress and More

It's Monday morning and I'm beginning to feel the stress of the week already. It's also tax season and Dianne  is preparing taxes one last times I understand our agreement. But I'm not really sure but that's another issue entirely, but I am sure as that I am responsible for getting snow my records over to Dianne so she can  those records into the mix. I hate this kind of stuff which means I guess I hate having to be responsible / Dependable the hold stuff about being an adult. I am trying to find records for the last 3 months since I left here I moved out on my own as far as things that might be tax deductible. I don't have much the doctor even ordered anything. The biggest outlay was of course the payment to the doctor the root canal. I have some stuff in there some medication purchases Express Medical just trying to go to my stuff looking for other receipts. I do have to contacts my care provider and get records for my attendant care through September.

 I have always wanted to be organized, and together be able to put my hands on stuff out of moment's notice. I would love to  have been the go to guy.  My room is always a mess,  my desk was always a mess, my house was a mess and my apartments are always a mess. I really believe I am missing a gene which enable the organismv to keep things organized and things findable.  I have been toiling for weeks trying to keep or get the apartment respectable in the hole concert xscapes me though I am making some progress I hope at least that's what people tell me who see the unit.

 My buddy Duane  is coming over today for a visit - Duane, you remember, is my friend from the work world he was taking the real active interest in me in my benefits. he's been talking about getting together for a week or two now and I thought he wanted to get together later this week but last night he texted that we could get together this afternoon at lunch here at the house since the weather looks pretty yucky on the outside. Duane is going to grab some takeout and come over. this is going to be entertaining if nothing else. However, I really need to get the house cleaned up better than what I had it is now. Actually it's not so bad I think it will pass muster for Duane at least.

 Now I just have to shag ass and and find some more receipts.

Sunday, January 22, 2017


I just  came down from upstairs  at the apartment complex where I picked up the newspaper from my new friend Irene.  I  ran into Irene yesterday as I was washing clothes. I was surprised to find her waiting for her son to take her to the airport she was flying to Wyoming to be with her 98 year old sister who had just lost her husband  and did not want to be alone. Irene asked if I would pick up her Sunday paper since she was not going to be here exact did not know when she was going to be back. she even brought down some frozen foods and eggs!
Irene is 84, she's a young 84, she drives a little van everywhere and takes care of herself very well actually much better than I. I don't know why I was sort of drawn in the first couple days I was was at the apartments.  Irene is one of the regulars at the Thursday coffee group. She really sits with the group and spends most of her time making coffee, serving the  participants and cleaning up the kitchen area. She Bowles and is quite active driving around the community during the day I rarely see her.  as I said she has any for what makes her about 20 years older than me it's just sort of interesting. I mention that I was a bit embarrassed when she brought the food down that my apartment was such a mess and she said that she would help me clean it up when she got back whenever she got back from carrying for her sister which sure perked my ears up.
This past month a couple of new folks of has moved in which means I am no longer the new guy. Actually I am still a new guy but feel like I'm an old guy here at the apartments. I am amazed that I've only been here nearly three months. It seems like forever sometimes. I'm getting the people though they seem to the accepting me which is good at least for me. I'm beginning to put faces to names I know where people live in the facility. I'm still surprised at how many people I will see during the week I don't recognize that have been here all  long.  This place is really not all that big  and I would like to get to know more people over the next couple weeks and months which I am sure I will. but for the time being it's great not to be the funny new guy or FNG.

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Light Snow

I open the curtains to a light snow falling all around Taylorsville this morning. I had planned to head out to the market across the street to score some salad dressing but now I'm not so sure. Today we have the social thing at 9:30 and then we'll see what happens. Hopefully the snow will lighten up after that. I just visited with the building manager it was just coming on to work and she said it's not necessarily cold out as much as the sidewalks in the streets are slick and slippery possibly making the way dangerous.

 Yesterday was an outfit, I had my dental appointment to follow up with the root canal I had done a couple weeks ago. it was such a better experience when I didn't have to actually engage taxi cab to get me to the event. I was able to do the whole thing on buses with no issues. The day was somewhat  chilly but manageable. this guy was basically clear however we have such a layer of smog at this point in time you would have thought it was overcast most of the time. The mountains are totally invisible to us Folk here on the West side, the pollution is so great. I guess that's part of the excitement with having cloudy weather command with the possibility of precipitation to scrub the atmosphere free of pollutants. you want to bring any of this up is to suggest how great it would have been to get across the street yesterday and got my salad dressing. Actually I forgot that I needed such condiments. I'm trying to loose weight which means a salad every day.  I cannot believe I did not buy the salad dressing the other night but I was got the bags of lettuce.

So I'm bundled up bundled up after the Social Hour at 9:30 which staff love to have me there and participate. Then I plan to bundle up and dash a cross thE street and get provisions for a snowy weekend.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Back to It...

 It's funny what gets you going. today I was all set to head out for my Assist meeting downtown Salt Lake.  We have a ritual , we members  on the  Advisory Board, we call Dave at Assist at 8 o'clock and ask if we're going to have the meeting. we usually do however during inclement weather we will forgo the meeting or for other reasons but usually the weather. Today was one of those days no meeting.  This  morning looked awful righteous. it was cold but clear big old sun shining and I didn't want to stick around the apartments.
  But except for Assist I didn't have anywhere to go  so I figured the least I could do what's call around on some errands I've been meaning to get done like tax information ,  checking up on some bills and setting some appointments for medical things. I wanted to get some foam  for the side of my chair. This allows me to sit up straighter in my chair and I lost the piece I'd gotten from my occupational therapist about a year ago. So I figured  I  could score  some more and i haven't talked to him since the beginning of the year so I figured it would be good to visit with him for a minute. I texted Casey and let him know what I needed and was surprised to find out he had time to see me today at  3 p.m. I told him I could make it no problem. that's so my day is taken a major turn that I had not expected. I had not seen or communicated with Casey since last summer when my benefits had run out. In fact  I had gotten new benefits but had never gotten back to occupational therapy. so I figured when I saw him I would ask about proceeding with  more occupational therapy. I was kind of excited to see him.

 I soon found out that even though the day beautiful it was still kind of cold. I pulled on my long shirt and my vest and took off.  I had a couple hours to make the trip so I figured I will okay and I was. it was good to see him I think he felt the same about me.  Kacey got me the piece of foam I needed  and it feels great they have the support again I needed. we also set up a time when I can come in and begin more therapy. we even are going to have a home or he can go through my apartment and hopefully make some needed changes to make the place more accessible for me. I'm excited about some progression now I'm glad I made the decision the visit therapy.

 I really need to be out and doing stuff. this place where I live is great but breeds complacency very quickly and I need to be aware of that hyper-aware. But for the time being I'll be back in the saddle and making progress in my life.

Monday, January 16, 2017


 I don't know why but the last week or two I have been really desirous to cook roast. each time I go to the market I would end up at the meat section coveting  huge hunks a beef roast. Sometimes I really wanted to buy one but didn't have enough room to carry it home with me. other times I could not decide whether I want to cook a blade roast rump roast a New York strip roast costing 30 or 40 bucks.  Each time I pretty much talked myself out of purchasing the meat but this weekend I wanted  of a roast. I purchased the roast on Friday night and was thinking seriously of popping in the oven Saturday but that didn't happen when I opted to cook the frozen pizza my brother got me  a few weeks ago  and I was still eating on it  Sunday and thought   today would be the perfect day the cook the roast because it was a holiday. Somehow that made sense to me.

The roast a 3 pounder and it cost almost $13. I remember this because I was really looking at getting a twenty bucks roast  a real Beauty with  strings and everything.  But for some reason I just didn't want to have to mess with the strings.  I found the last roast i did with strings turned out to be quite challenging when carving the roast. That roast was good but it just  sort of fell apart in the strings came off. I wanted a roast like slice for maybe sandwiches.

 when I finally got the roast out of the refrigerator I marveled at how big it was. it was huge I don't know I was thinking when I purchase it.  I found a quick recipe online pretty much to make sure I knew what temperature the inside was to be when it was done. I  salt and peppered the beef and literally threw it in the oven set the timer and worked on folding clothes.

The pile of protein is done 2 hours later. I was impressed when I stuck in the thermometer and it went to 140 degrees just like it was supposed to. then I realized I was going to have a problem getting it out of the oven. my oven is just too low to get anything out of I said some folks talking in the hallway who recruited one of them to pull the roast out.  The roast was done just right . I let it rest for 30 minutes then attacked the lump with my electric knife.  It's hard to cut a roast even with electric knife!  I cut half of the roast before I lost interest. I took those pieces I cut and put in a baggie or who knows what reason rest of the roast I put the rest in a baggie threw it into the back of freezer hopefully to be discovered  a few months from now.

Well I've got that out of my system. Now on to the cake mixes in the closet.

Sunday, January 15, 2017


In the Community room or the great room is what  I call it at the apartment complex where I live we have a shelf are window into the kitchen where people who have things to donate / get rid of leave and other folks desiring can pick them up. I have picked up quite a bit of  good food.  I have snatched things like juice, flour even milkgranted it was boxed milk but still pretty good stuff. and some bread. This morning there was even a pair of shoes  go figure? .  Actually there's a pile of stuff  I think because yesterday wae Food Bank day. I've noticed after food bank day that there seems to be a lot of canned goods and such at the window. Especially things from USDA government commodities. Not like they used to be, when I was working at The Independent Living Center, but still federalized American food. The canned vegetables that show up are the usual the kind of stuff which you still in the plastic bags that come from the food bank  those bags you fill with all the food you don't necessarily want around the house anymore: green beans, carrots  and mixed vegetables. there's piles of them but if I'm not done in a day or so I'm going to take a couple of them I don't mind can vegetables sometimes they really help in casseroles.
I'm always amazed at people who complain in particular people who are low income and complain. Number of folks sit around here and complain aboug materials which areprovided Food Bank. I had heard this happens but I had never really  experienced  these complaints . As many of you know, I spent a good deal of time working with the food bank in procuring some of this  material . In fact I was not surprised  when  I've heard some of the folks  indicating  that  they would not go stand out in the cold  inline  waiting for the food bank open .  The food was not worth it . I agree to a point  Alot of the food is throw away food but still , food is food when your low income you're always looking for something to eat. The scouts would often come around our neighborhood to collect these bags of food would stick a can of stew are tamales or Kipper snacks some of my favorites in the sack hopefully thinking someone would really like this item .

Food is food I'm thankful for all of it subsidized or not. hope the others keep dropping off options.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Waiting for the Sun

It's mid-morning Saturday and I'm patiently waiting for the sun to come out. Supposedly that will be sometime this morning. I had thought about going down and washing a load of clothes, or cleaning up the house a little bit, I just readings by Stephen King but I just can't seem to get into the mood. Earlier today I went down to the common to see if the mail has come or actually to see who was down there. The Usual Suspects were there and it got depressing real quick so I returned to the apartment to see what else might be going on.

I am in a bit of a quandary because I'm finding out there are a number of people at this apartment complex who are real downers. Folks who tend to gripe or moan or groan about their plight in this world. They all own little dogs, little yappers, and they must take the little beast out  to do their business  at different times during the day  but usually  in the mornings  is when I see most of them  as they sit around  the front  of the building  with their dogs And visit  let the little beasta play with each other . A couple of the tenants   are real dark clouds. She is one of those people who feel that everything is against her. She doesn't like management here at the units and see her going around trying to build allegiances towards her cause. The other is a woman has a partial foot amputation. She walks it seems pretty Pleasant until you get to know her then you see that she is quietly angry. She seems like she wants assistance but actually just seems to complain about idea one might offer. She refuses to use mass transit because she feels entitled to better service or she just doesn't want people to look at her because of her disability. She is considering a power chair or scooter for the first time in her life. However, she does not want to consider buy used product unless it looks new and of course I'd rather have new. I gave her a few options for used equipment but I doubt if she will really consider them. Just really , I had to leave before I said anything Which might be hurtful . These folks are on the lower end of the hierarchy  of the facility .  It's a shame there has to be one, a hierarchy that is, but every system has one. I am sure I have just seen the most obvious I am sure as time goes by I will even more subtle power-systems emerge I am just not sure I want to.

I guess I must get used to this power struggle and all. This is where I live – – this is my universe for however long I don't know but these are the people I will be associating with day in and day out.. And so far even the worst of these are good people. They're people who are angry, people who are only people been disenfranchised  really, my kind of people. So, I must be larger, more supportive and help these folks become their better selves aand maybe I will become a better self myself.

Friday, January 13, 2017

Looked After

 This is a image of the new  pendant.

 When I came home the first time from the hospital for my first stenosis we rented a hospital bed lowered and raised as well as the back elevated and the front elevated.  The bed was older but was functional  and I really appreciated so bad after a few weeks. then, I can't really remember what happened but we were informed that the insurance is no longer pay for that bed. We had to let it go.   My former call Dianne did some remarkable research another bed with the same qualifications in fact it was better then the bed had had before. instead of screw mechanisms that raise and lower the bed this new system 4 bed works with hydraulic Pistons to raise and lower the bed. It looks really nice I've really grown to enjoy it. Of course one has to be able to control the bed so there's a pendant attached to the bed of course made of plastic and of course the attachment tends to fall on the floor a lot at least with me that is the case.In less than a year that I had the bed I have managed to run over there component with my power chair first time I just broke off the hook on the back of a pendant on the second time I did more damage. a month or so ago and it stopped working and I had my brother, Carl come over look at it and he was able to put the components of a come loose in the pendant back together and the pendant worked.  The pendant  was wrapped with duct tape except for the buttons that drove the mattress or bed. so I took care not to move it too much that's why I was so shocked last night but I was going to bed that the pendant would not work. I do not remember stretching the device are bumping it ordropping device on the floor but for whatever reason the   bed was not going to move.

 I had stayed up later than usual having been caught up in a science fiction movie. I how to put the bed down to its lowest level earlier in the day so I would be ready for bed. so I did not notice the pendant not working wind I got into the bed. it is only when I tried to raise my head and the bed not move did I realize there was a problem. The time was close to midnight.  I knew my brother would be asleep and I figured I could sleep on the bed in the down position - - I was just worried about being able to get up in the morning. I would not be able to do this by myself my power chair being so high above the bed. I left a message please call me when you get up and went to bed. I did not sleep well but that's not news. So I just laid there trying to sleep but not being able to from about 3 a.m.

 Carl called around 6 this morning or a little after and I informed him the problem and he came right over. I felt a little bad when I found out he was already at work but he came anyway.  Carl tried pendant  to no avail he was about ready to tear into the duct tape I try to see what was  wrong inside the pendant. That's when I informed him that I had ordered a new pendant and it was on the kitchen table. there was a little bit of an issue with the way the old devices slide into the bed but he soon found a way to secure the new pendant in place though not as secure as the old plug-in facts the old plug is still there it was so difficult to detach from the bed. I just have to be careful not to pull hard on the new pendant.

Sometimes I can terrify myself thinking of what would happen to me if I did not have these key people in my life. Thanks Carl for always being there you're the best

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Just A Boob!

Bureaucracies scare  the hell out of me, especially Federal bureaucracies and more specifically Social Security. I need to contact this agency immediately regarding my changed  marital status. Contacting Social Security could be very beneficial to me. In fact yes I do and do all the things I have to do I could receive substantially more money a month then I currently am receiving in my social security benefits.  I should have done this 2 months ago when our divorced finalized.  but my life is such a turmoil at that point in time contacting SSA was the last thing I wanted to do.  As I found a place to live, and settle into that place I found ,the root canal,  emergency wheelchair repair and life in general just kept getting in the way are provided a convenient excuse for me not to have to contact the man. Now I need swallow my fears and go forward and get this boogie taking care of.

 My former wife Dianne has been very insisted that I take advantage of Social Security Law which would allow me 2 get increased benefits because of the divorce. the process is complicated and intimidating to me and in fact without this good woman insistence I would probably just blow the whole thing off. I think I freaked out about having to find documents that I know SSA is going to ask for : birth certificates, divorce documents, marriage certificate, and it goes on and on. but I have to do this. I should have an idea for some of these documents are at but I'm afraid it won't be able to find them and then what? Dianne, has sent me all the information I need to contact them online so I need to do that if not just call them outright and set up an appointment and go from there.

 I am going to look like an idiot this I know and I'm just going to have to eat it. I'm in no position turn down a couple of hundred extra dollars a month specially when they're having to do self pay for my home health services. it's just hard and scary and I am just a boob.

Monday, January 09, 2017


It's a heat wave!  when I looked at my clock this morning early the temperature of 51 degrees! I thought of course it was a mistake and try to get back to sleep to no avail. I heard the wind howling as I struggle out of bed and into my chair. I rolled to the kitchen got some mornings coffee going  and open the curtains see what my day looks like and I was astounded. piles of snow on the driveway an  on the lawn outside my window and disappeared devoured by the Chinook Winds that moved in overnight as I slept. I was thrilled with expectation and what might be.

 I did not watch the local weather for the last couple of days at least the weekend, I had given up any reasonable weather coming soon. I suppose can I watch local weather I would have been less surprised. but here it was a meteorological gift a reprieve from Winters frigid grip a free pass to the outside an excursion from the four walls have had me encumbered since the great storms began last month a Christmas. Insect I had planned this to be an "in day" a day dedicated to chores in the apartment complex:  wash a load of clothes, wash some dishes, pick up a little bit around the apartment work on my education project - - things that would keep me inside occupied but reasonably happy. But now a reason  to escape the confines that I have been living under for the past month.

 I wrote this post initially more than 4 hours ago. Then when I went to post it was not to be found on my tablet so I had to write the post again. In the meantime I've done some chores around the house, collected my mail, I had a great conversation with my daughter long distance. the day still looks comfortable outside my window but now its afternoon and I still have things to do inside the apartment I may not get out as I had hoped but just watching the day develop outside gives me a new hope for an early spring.

Sunday, January 08, 2017

Saturday Surprise

One of the items I love most  about life is like's ability to constantly refresh and surprised me.. Yesterday began as a run-of-the-mill Friday.  I did not have anything planned specifically in the weather outside is still impassable to me  not only from a ice and snow standpoints but also from the standpoint that the mercury level is hovering  right around zero. I figured the day would be a good day to do some chores around my apartment. I washed a load of clothes, I did some dishes and paid a bill.  I was pleased when my phone notified me I had a collar and it wasn't one of my healthcare providers I providers but one of my old friends. It was Dave mailed supervisor  from about 30 years ago.

Dave was once my supervisor at a private nonprofit is a rather unique fellow, or at least I think so. I'm sure it is David's uniqueness that reinforced my friendship with him. Although I was not single when I first met Dave  I was soon afterwards. I don't remember when we first started hanging out after work visiting  a little bar called the Colonial Inn usually on Fridays after work. The world had not  gone digital at that point but was on the verge.. Computers fascinated me computers also fascinated Dave. I was  quite a bit older than Dave  but we still meshed pretty well.. He even helped me relocate to Salt Lake when I got the job down here.. We kind of lost track of each other over the years but have rekindled our relationship  with the advent of social media.

They've called me to let me know that he was passing through Salt Lake and would be willing to stop visit for a while I was up to it. I thought that would be a great idea. The day passed, I finished my chores,, and was pleased to hear his call later in the afternoon indicating that he was in town finally and needed to know how to get to my apartment  complex. I gave him the information he was soon here.  Dave was traveling with his mother who he was taking back to Blackfoot, Idaho. Which initially he was driving to  Los Angeles but the severe weather forced him to turn back. Fortunately for me meant  to stop here in Salt Lake.

We visited,  was not going to let him into my apartment,  because the place is a mess. Plymouth View has some grea couches in the common areas. We visited up front in the foyer  I also gave them  a tour of the facility.. I showed them the areas I love most about the Plymouth.. David's mother is significantly old  80 something. She still in her own home but I could see was very interested in my living situation in particular with many of the other residents at this complex – –  old folks.  I can see that I would have to show them my apartment which I did. They didn't mind the mess, Dave had to use the facilities,, and I think Mrs. Allen really like she saw.  I don't know if there's anything like the Plymouth in her destinations but if there is that is where she would like to be.

I don't know how important this meeting was but somehow I think the meeting was important.  I think Mrs. Allen  needed to see this place and I needed to see David. They were in and they were out somehow I felt like someone coming home..

Thursday, January 05, 2017

Like A Student Again

I just spent two good hours on the phone with Salt Lake Community College(S L C C) or Slick. This is the institution of higher learning just a block away from my apartment complex that I am entertaining the thought of audio a class tthis spring semester beginning Monday. I have been trying to matriculate into this program the last month but have been thwarted by the end-of-the-year holidays.. Now, that I have finally gotten registered and set up on the Internet and gone through orientation via the Internet I find the class that I wanted is full and my only option is to get my name on the waiting list. So, pretty much I guess I will not be doing an art class this spring as I had intended. However the experience itself was quite a bit of learning. I know how it would be different next semester but might be worth a shot. I guess one of the questions I have is how fair is it that a person like me – – old and disabled – – that wants to the audit class would take up one of the seats in that class from a hard cash paying individual?and I wonder if the fact that I have my own chair i.e. my power chair should make a difference particularly since I'm just auditing the course.

So now I have got myself on the waiting list I must check into that list twice a day to see if anyone else has checked out. And right now I find the process of checking in quite intimidating. I actually have to do the whole thing via the computer/my computer and find my way back to the “add/backdrop” class page which took a lot of direction from the person on the other in the phone and patience I might add. Just an aside – – I see myself more and more as this addld senior who cannot even figure out how to register for a class online. I've had this feeling many times over the last week while on campus and on the phone talking to different IT folk. When someone does check out and my name comes up I will be able then to become part of the class. On top of that I must show up for class the first meeting of the class and visit with the instructor to see if she would be willing to let me out of the class. Wow, this is a lot of stuff out of one class I suppose it would be worth it where it able to pan out. Now there are other classes being talked at other locations that they are like at 7 AM in the morning and another part of town which I just don't see any way of making. Part of the whole idea of going to SLCK is the convenience to my apartment complex. So, next week regardless of snow I'm going to show up for class at 9 AM see if I can push myself in. This is great I already feel like a student again.

Wednesday, January 04, 2017

No Internet Connection


More snow is forecast for today heavy at times all I want to do leave early get to my bank get some counter checks and get back to the apartments. I was totally surprised when I looked out and saw snow melting. I understand there's a storm coming in and sometimes I understand that the temperature rises as the storm approaches it supposed to be happening now because it is in the forties actually mid-thirties outside. It feels like a heatwave and that's great to see bits of the snow melting. This excites me. I even went out and worked out on the rickshaw which I haven't been for 2 weeks because of the severe cold. I get more excited when I seen that temperatures near 50 will be had later this week and next week that should take care of a lot of the issues of snow and being trapped at the complex. In the meantime looks like we're going to get dumped on Snow wise I just have to get through it - - spring will come.

I would not be so worried about getting out ,5 I have good food storage people watching out for me in fact call called yesterday asked if he could get anything from the market for me. I had to pick up a few things it was just nice that he was involved enough to do some shopping for me. However I really like to do my own shopping but right now I have to let folks help me. I really need to do is get some counter checks from my bank or at least money order from from my market. I know they have money orders I just have to get to the market to get one which right now is a no because of the snow. I spoke with the complex manager yesterday she said not to worry and also because this is a HUD property they can't levy  increased fees on renters because their rent is late.

I continue to struggle with my internet connection or Wi-Fi link to the internet. I cannot seem to keep a connection on my laptop computer but I have no problem connecting with my tablet or my cell phone and I understand I have 4G on my cell phone which is a major difference then the apartments Wi-Fi. Day before yesterday I spent $170 Komodo which is a online system that is to repair your computer and make it better and more efficient. I elected to extend my coverage end of the year because they said they could connect me to the internet which they have which they did. The issue I am experiencing now is that it will not stay connected. I do not know if this is a Wi-Fi issue of the apartment complex- - which I kind of think is - - but still every time I call Komodo they are able to look me up to the internet. I'm getting pressure to go ahead and just get my own internet connection go from there I just hate going to the process and talking to the slimy sales reps. I'm pretty fortunate to be able to access to local Wi-Fi via my tablet.

I'm going to post this from my tablet and work on my internet connection with my laptop and eventually I think I need to start looking at a desktop with some sort. I love having a laptop this one is the right one for me.

Tuesday, January 03, 2017

Pardon My Cape

Snow came again during the night,, not much but when added to the rest of what is fallen I am beginning to be concerned More snow is forecast for tonight,, significantly more snow. I'm basically just hunkering down for the spring and hope to go out when I can. Snow removal is ongoing but I doubt much will impact me are the other residents of this facility. I'm going to begin feeble attempts at avocation and we will see where those go .

An interesting note – – however it just makes sense – – been speaking with some of the residents yesterday about getting involved with the city Council regarding requests, suggestions, demands that we might have to make access to city, County, state services more accessible, some of the other renters have raised the issue that the property manager has chastised them for their wants to become involved. I sure do not want to make any waves particularly my living situation at the same time I sure do not want to become a prisoner here aand be threatened for speaking my mind and wanting general access. My immediate impulse is to just contact Executive Director of the agency which owns this property let him direct ship.. I have total faith this guy I believe you will make the appropriate decisions but in doing so will I also burn my bridges and iff not burn begin begin the planks smoldering. When I said “it just makes sense” but I meant is that I'm finally beginning to see the real power structure of this facility.. I was na├»ve enough to believe that all is well I sure wanted to. I'm beginning to see where the power is and those who are running jumping to grasp whatever tendrils of power they can. Again, I do not want to be thrust into therole of leadership of the tread upon renters here at Plymouth View.

I feel like any number of superheroes who retired, just want to be left alone and enjoy the remainder of their lives but something always arises that forces them to get involved lead some ragtag group of folk to the promised land.. Of course, I will do this I have to I just hate wearing spandex…

Sunday, January 01, 2017


It's Sunday, New Year's Day, I've been spending the time in the Apartments washing clothes and watching a little TV as  i hung up the clothes  and picked up the apartment a little bit. I probably should have done more butts after all tis a holiday  in the long holiday at that. tomorrow is a holiday too
because it's New Year's celebrated? Tomorrow maybe I will get out more. there was talk of snow today but so far I have not seen anything like that. I thought about making something fancy but I still have pizza left over most of the morning. I took the rest of the roast out for something this evening possibly. maybe I can make some roast beef gravy and noodles or something. I'd like to make it Savory and tasty but I don't know if I have that skill set anymore.

 I've started my monthly letters. I have Michelle's pretty much done. tomorrow maybe I will get the girls done and have them ready to be mailed on Tuesday when the world begins to spin again.  so Begins the new year and I'm pleased to be alive in this far along in my new life. I still cannot accept what has happened , totally.  I hate being alone but maybe that's what I've earned.  I don't think I would even try to get into a relationship if a relationship presented itself I cannot stand the thought of destroying another person's life again and put to myself under so much stress and pressure.
 however one thing that I have been thinking of is that I should resolve to do something - - A resolution if you will. I resolve s to become  the best version of myself I can be. I don't know if it's realistic but it's worth a try at this late age.