Move In Day

We have been fortunate for the past coupe of years of being the only office in this entire building—oh, there was a time when we shared ghe building with the Mexican Consulate and I like that—I think I was about the only one at my office who did. We had hordes of Mexicans coming into our office thinking our office was the Consulate, infact this building became too small for the Consulate's needs and moved out about 18 months ago—we have been the lone folks here ever sense. The building owner has been telling us of and on for about a year that he had once again rented the property to another minority group, this time the Asians. I really thought the guy was just blowing smoke and the eternal renovation was just a process for his ego. However, in the last week the renovation has become intense with jack hammer pounding—they even built us a code firewall of the front of our office which has been driving me crazy. The disconnected the power doors into our offices and actually rehung one door backwards—the doors all have hydraulic pumps making them so heaving I can barely access the office by myself. Hopefully before they finish the renovation they will reconnect the door. The building itself has been refitted with a new security system—the system now has a feature where a timer is actuated when the building exterior doors are opened (with key) and someone has to input a code to disconnect the system or ear piercing alarms go off and a rent-a-cop company is called and the whole system has to be rest. Yesterday, the first day back to work and I had to open the building andd of course I set off the alarm. The alarm sounded for twenty minutes, shut off and then started again—the cops never showed up as they had done a couple of months ago.

Yesterday the big tucks started pulling up, parking directly in front of my “window on the West” and a gang of five or seven dressed in hoodies, black watch caps and gloves jumped out open the back and started carrying desks, chairs, tables and lots of file cabinets out of the truck and across the hall to the Asian agency. Earlier in the month Frank at my office indicated he had been to the secrete Information Technology room where they had an impressive server arrady hordes. And voices, all morning in the hall people coming and going, laughing shouting and calling out—and this is just their staff claiming individual office space. Windows and familiarity with the premises. There is supposed to be chaos next Tuesday when the Asians first real day of services begins.

Already the Asians have taken over the building like they own it—they have been exhibiting a certain swagger only large populations can render.. The Asians have already settled into the building like they have always been here. Helping our office cope with THEM being here. It feels weird. Our sleepy building is being slapped awake. We are going to have to assimilate to these new folk and quick or we will be just one more species kicked to the side of the road.

Christmas 2011

Well Christmas is over for another year, the gifts have been given and received, meals eaten, family greeted, as the sun sets on the second day of Christmas. Can you tell? I got new software for Christmas. This year Dianne gifted me in DragonDictate nuance system and I'm trying learn how to use it. So, I expect this post will be less enjoyable to read but I might as well jump in feet first and learn this pesky software. I got Dianne a new camera, a Nikon cool pics. Diane seems to truly enjoy using the new camera. The red Nikon I was letting her use finally gave up the ghost and it was time for something new. Now, I must confess that I really did poorly gifting this year and basically changed in and relied totally on Amazon.com. But from what I can tell those who did receive that Amazon gift cards seem appreciate which leads me think that I will be using again as embarrassing as using gift cards might be. Using the gifts cards or rather giving that gift gift was simple and relatively painless and counted as true gift giving. Dianne actually manufactured a couple of her gifts for me: robes made for people we use wheelchairs. To robes were made from towels which will be great for me when exiting the shower one was from sort if a flannel material and will be great for just wearing round the house are watching television. Truly these are great gifts and what Christmas should be about.

There were no grand meals our house this Christmas which is okay we did okay for Thanksgiving nets good. Now I must admit Bridget and Gabriel did have a breakfast on Christmas morning but I chose not to go, I am just a poop. Mark A did make it over last evening to receive Christmas gifts that we gave his family. Mark set the example for me using Amazon.com who gift. And I really do appreciate the gift cards which allow me to take advantage of the many e-books that are out there.

I just got busy and washed the dishes we have had hanging around the sink. And I might do some more cooking before this is through that I it. My Christmas vacation is just about finished. Tomorrow I am back at the office manager phones and taking care of business. Now the more I thought about working between the holidays and and how the telephones have been I am beginning to rethink my decision to work between the holidays. Diane actually is not babysitting as I thought she would be, which was my driving motivation to work between the holidays. So if nothing else I will go in at least in the mornings and return calls from the previous afternoons.

I have not been able to do all I had wanted to do this Christmas, but isn't that usual? We do what we can to try to enjoy what we able to do. I would've loved to cook more and had a few more family gatherings that is difficult time consuming, confusing and just challenging. Sometimes less is more. So this is my Christmas post dictated entirely with Dragon it's awkward still, and I have to admit a new at dictation, but I think this will really be helpful once I get the dictation down, sounding more normal, and less self-conscious. But I am encouraged again Merry Christmas everyone.

Gifting Challenged

The phone action at the office had nearly flatlined as we get closer and closer to Christmas. I am sensing many of those in need now that government support agencies and programs become less and less effective as we get closer to the final holidays of the year. I will get only the very most desperate calls now, of which I will be of very little help maybe I can pull a rabbit out of the hat if the need is not top severe, Our office staff has dropped to three and after today it will be two tomorrow and two for all of next week. I have decided to work between the holidays this year—typically, I have taken the time off but this year with Dianne babysitting at Asher's house I may as well be working then spending the time at home burning off Annual just because I have Annual to burn, I don’t know, maybe I'll come in half days, maybe, return any calls if I have any and deal with emergencies should any crop up.

I have totally failed as a person this year in area of gifting—my grand children will grow up hating me, I did the unconscionable and sent out Amazon gift cards—I shall never be able to walk among my children again. Locally I still have a couple of days to produce some grand fatherly gift but if you're one of my grand kids,kids or in law I would not hold my breadth. I think I have conned myself into believing I will,go shopping after the holiday and purchase gifts them. I will try to get my work mates something then—this kinda works sine half are gone on Holiday leave and will and will return till after the holidays. So, I can buy and leave on the desks of those next week. As for Christmas card electronic or otherwise I have sent non out. I don't know what has happened to me this year I M NOT HUMBUGING AS MUCH AS JUST NOT CARING AND THAT IS DESPICABLE. I truly need to repent. Maybe there is still time maybe. Maybe I can change things just a little and do something to increase my spirit.

I am tired though it has been a long week and I still have not fully recovered from the early rising yesterday to drive Dianne in to the Hospital for her procedure—the procedure WAS A success!! So much so that Dianne actually drove into the train-station last night to pick me up and today she is back washing Asher. I am actually looking forward to two three day weekends in a row.

Above is my gift from Frank( the oldest guy in the shop, I am the second oldest) Frank always comes through—I need to be more like Frank but that would fall under resolutions and is not till next week.

Early Morning Surgery

I spent the morning in the hospital, Salt Lake Regional to be specific, I was not there for me I went to be with Dianne as she went through some miner surgery—outpatient-Day surgery—and I was needed to drive her home. We were first on the hospital's docket this morning mean we had to check in at 6:00 am Salt Lake regional is pretty dead at the time in the morning. Once Dianne checked in and was prepped for surgery I was turned loose and I did a little exploration.

Salt Lake Regional is one of the older Salt Lake Hospital, I actually, think the place used to be called Holy Cross—its a cozy place it could actually be a scary place—really has that old building feel—feels like an exorcist set especially in the older sections of the place. I am sure the place is riddled with ghosts and other items of the paranormal. I did not see any but I imagined a felt a lot. While Imwas searching for the cafeteria I found what I thought to be an ancient tunnel across the street to the Moran eye Center. The tunnel was great for the most part clean and clear with the exception of many electric hospital beds being stored down there plus a host of offices all along the way with few markings. I had both cameras with me and yet I did not make a video of crossing the tunnel. It smelled weird at the end of the tunnel—like damp, dank wet stuff. Not bad, mind you, just weird but gave me the creeps and I booked out of the tunnel straight and fast. The morning was kinda fun...

Office remodel office chaos

This footage was taken in the reception area of our office--this racket has been going on for days now. Hopefully the project is nearly done and we can return to relative peace and quiet.

Cai by Norman Goundry

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


I enjoyed the read, a new concept for me and took me a while to wrap my head round the idea of a ghost being a major star of a book, but recommend the read to someone wanting to ty something different



View all my reviews

"Are You Still Alive?"

I was watching a science show the other night o public television when I got a call from my daughter, Shell, who seemed a bit more emotional then her usual self. Often times when she calls Shelly is exhausted, managing the girls or riding home from work but never teary—today she was. So I paused the show, I am watched and practiced my best 'active listening'. Being an evening call there was a high probability of bad news and of course it was bad news. Her step mother—or her step-step mother since the person question, Carolee is married to Shelly's step-father ( who by the way is no longer married to Shelly's mother) so what he, Don, is I am not quiet sure but my old adage, “if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it's probably a duck. Don was a pretty good step dad to my kids during his time in that position—but this post is not about Don, very much. What had happened is that Don had called my Michelle to report that Carolee had been hit with a pretty massive stroke, dropping her like a rock and was now on life support at a Utah County hospital. I could sense that Michelle was having a difficult time with the news, news which was grim,very grim. Carolee was probably not going to make it. Michelle shared with me that both of the boys were taking the news pretty hard and las night I spoke with Mark A, who was doing OK but seemed to be impacted pretty hard too. Not to make light of a very sensitive subject but this was the step-mother—I could see if this was Don, because Don is a highly special person, hard to dislike, I know I have tried—Don is a good guy—this guy has earned his striped and family worship if that I what it I but Carolee was a bit of a new comer.

Michelle was calling to “tag up”, something very bad had happened to someone she knows personally, what ever happens is going to impact her personally. The only other bouts she has experienced with the Grim Reaper has been with “ancients” My Dad, or her Uncle whop lost a battle with cancer a couple of years ago but this death was expected, she had time to prep for this uncle's death. But this accident was out of t”he blue” no time to pu you “fingers in front of your eyes” to help diffuse the terror such an event can illicit. Wham, right between the eyes, sucker punch!! Michelle was suddenly faced with the reality if something like this can happen to Carolee, my once and past setp.step mother this could happen to my my dad and current step mother—infact, could is the wrong word, they are going to die some time and true as the sun rises in the east—one day I am going to get that call that dad is gone peacon and, if you are going to have a relationship one had to act and act now. I have to admit I was touched by the time we were able to share.

Mark A called last night “they” have taken Carolee off life support. The death watch has begun they have cut the string to the kite Carolee on which Carolee was flying. Carolee is in free fall and ever at the time of this writing has pulled the rip cord on the chute into the next world. If indeed that has happened then that's two in my life cycle who have died on, Captain and Carolee and I do believe “law of Three's” so there is another one out there or maybe even me, that would be a drag, but I suppose better me then someone else. Hold, on I got to tag up on base then begin then begin my lead off.

So Long Captain

Mac died a couple days ago—I got a facebook notification-- from his daughter Cindy yesterday afternoon. Its weird to have Mac gone. I have been writing him a letter a week, just as I had my mother before her passing. It is weird not having Mac to write now, not having Mac in my life now, but as a memory. I wished I had called him on last time. I almost did last week but never got round to calling and lost my chance.

We worked together for a short while Mac was a medical doctor and I was a flunky kid width a little psychological experience. In the early 70's Mac pulled together an idea and developed a medical delivery system for low income farm workers in Southwest Idaho. Mac 's idea was to use medically trained military personal, when then personal when they separated from the service give these 'medic' a little more training and turn them into nurse practitioners. I had gotten know the doctor when I was working behavior modification at the State hospital where Mac was medical director—its a long story just accept that it happened. The point is now the man is gone. I'll post the obituary when I get it.

12-22-2011---as promised...

Dr. Clarence McIntyre Jr.

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Dr. Clarence
A. McIntyre, Jr. MD
Dr. McIntyre, 80, longtime Nampa, ID community figure, devoted husband for 47 years and father of seven, died after a short illness on Thursday, December 8, 2011 in Charlotte, NC, where he had lived since 2004. 'Dr. Mac,' as he was known by friends and patients, had been a doctor at the Idaho State School, helped found the Terry Reilly Health Clinics, and ran a private practice for many years with his wife, Alice. Mac served in the Army 1960-63 at Ft. Bragg, NC, and then moved to Idaho to serve as a physician for the rest of his career. Over the years, Dr. and Mrs. McIntyre opened their home to over 100 people in different types of need for varying lengths of time. The McIntyre's conducted medical missions to Nepal, China, Mexico, Honduras, and Bangladesh.
Mac was as much loved for his eccentric personality and irreverent sense of humor as he was for his community work. Mac spent his final years in Charlotte, NC under the loving supervision of his oldest daughter Cindy, scandalizing the residents of Emeritus Retirement Home, teaching the occasional art class, and attending St. Johns Baptist Church.
Clarence McIntyre is survived by his brother, Charles, his children; Cindy, Wendy, Roy, Casandra, Patrick, Evan, and Vestal, his six grandchildren, several foster children, a legion of friends and patients.
The family will receive friends from 5:00 to 7:00 p.m. Sunday, December 18, 2011, at Hankins & Whittington Funeral Service. A service to celebrate Dr. Mac's life will be held 11:00 a.m. Monday, December 19, 2011, at St. John's Baptist Church, 300 Hawthorne LN., Charlotte, NC 28204.
In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations in Mac's name be sent to the Monastery of St. Gertrude's, 465 Keuterville Road, Cottonwood, ID 83522.
Arrangements are in the care of Hankins & Whittington Funeral Service, 1111 East Blvd. Please share condolences online at www.hankinsandwhittington.com.

Just Drifting

I have a meeting next week which I must be preparing for, yet I just cannot get motivated to prepare—what is wrong with me? These people will be coming to my building and my board room expecting something to be shown them and I don not think I will have anything. I hope I will have some charts and other hand outs but I don't think it will go well. I just have to keep focused. (editor's note: the meeting went great and I did have charts and graphs and even some numbers to share--still, there's lot to do.)

I finished my latest Stephen king, and it was a good read—not great but pretty good. I am still pondering the content and the whole change history and resulting “Butterfly” effect. So, now I am, with out a book and with all credit cards and such frozen what am I to do...I am hoping to get a couple of gift cards or Amazon gift numbers so I can download another e-book on my Kindle...this ebooking maybe come addicting.

Red Tag

It's the fifth of December, too far out for any Christmas miracles to be happening—oh and I believe in the miracle of Christmas-I have been the recipient of too many Christmas miracles to deny their happening. But it's the fifth of December and already the month is as harsh as a sand paper french kiss. I have had three calls today of people with disabilities facing evictions or utility shut-offs. These folks are seniors or have kids with disabilities but it is a hard town and a hard world out there.

Since I first started this blog update I spoke with my work mate, Amy who directed me to some citations regarding an actual federal and state law which might actually protect consumers. I have started some more research into this data and I have calls out to see if I might find something more definitive—hopefully I'll get some shut-off notices stayed until the severe weather passes. I have included some of the language I have found...Merry Christmas

Shut Off Protection

The Utility Moratorium Protection Program protects eligible households from winter utility shut off. A household can be approved for moratorium protection only one time per utility per program year. The moratorium is provided only by utility companies that are regulated by the Public Service Commission (PSC). PSC Regulated Utilities

The protection of the Moratorium lasts from November 15 through the following March 15. However, the State HEAT Program has the option of beginning it earlier or extending it later when severe weather conditions warrant such actions.

Kaiser Rolls are not Hambuirger Buns

We just got back from the lunch out for Frank's birthday—we shut the office down, bundled up and trooped a coupe of blocks over to the Red Rock brewing Company (RRBC). I have never been impressed with the RRBC, the place is over priced, under menued and just plain elitist—Bonnie from the office pointed out the place was too white for her taste. I understand. Today though, I was really disappointed in the place. In the past I had ordered major sandwiches like hot corned beef on rye( forgot the for this entry) which was OK, expensive but too much for lunch and I hate dragging sandwiches back to the office. So, I ordered the hamburger—I figured how bad can that be, the least expensive thing on the menu and a hamburger—really, make a paddy and cook till the meat was safely cooked and served with the appropriate accoutrements.

I was shocked when our order arrived—everyone's sandwich really was not a sandwich but something wrapped in that weird wrap from the Middle East pita! Seriously, Pita? Nothing but pita, but I was so dismayed when the downloaded my hamburger(?) two piece of ground beef wrapped in the pita stuff. I did not see anything like pita in the menu. I definitively would not have ordered this item even if I had remotely thought they would serve hamburger wrapped in pita. I sent it back and asked for any bread product the kitchen ha that resembled HAMBURGER BUN.! My order returned a few minutes later in a kaiser roll—which was weird but acceptable. The hamburger offering was too much meat for the humble kaiser roll—it was then I realized mustard did not come with my order. A small vessel of catchup came which I supposed was for the french fries –and there was enough to use for my burger so that was cool but no mustard and our server was no where to be seen, rather then wait I powered my chair up to the kitchen and finally snagged someone who delivered the mustard. I can forgive a burger if the burger has the right coverings you can hide a lot with onions, lettuce, cheese etc...well there was no etc with my order and this etc was pickles. No pickles and at this point I did not want to fight for my pickles. I would jut tough it out and eat my cold meat and get the heck out of there. No pickle?

So I proceed to eat what ever it is I am eating and the meat in the paddy is not done, the meat is raw in paces I almost gag but I pile the mustard on (when it finally gets to my table) and try to enjoy my sandwich—and the sandwich is OK. I rally wish I had taken a picture of this hamburger. I worked my way through the first half of the offering and started the second and then things began to taste funny. I swear a bloom of rotted meat exploded in my mouth, will maybe not exploded maybe the sprouted like the beginning of a toothache—when you're not sure and really don't want to know the realness of what is happening to you—but that was enough for me. I swallowed the bit but stopped there and covered the rest of the plate with my napkin hoping I would not get sick from the lunch.

Hopefully this is the last time we go to Red Rock for anything—I would sooner go to the food court over t the Mall then return to RRBC.

Pizza Please

Saturday night and i am writing and getting ready to settle down with the new Stephen King and do some serious reading. Dianne and I made pizzas tonight and the pizza pies turned out great--a lot of fun for the oldsters. One more day and then back to work for the Christmas swing--I think I am going to do all my gifting this year on Amazon, books and gift cards and that is going to be it. hey, I am still loving the Season--Ho,ho,ho.

Ho Ho Ho Here We Go

Looking down the barrel of another Federal holiday---this going to be a short week and I am feeling the pressure. Tomorrow I am out q half a day due to rehabilitation and then Wednesday one of my co-workers is having a birthday celebration which is more time away from the office and the phones. Plus I am trying to satisfy one of my funders who wants data broke down to their minute parts. So, what I was hoping would be a laid back week will be filled with stress as I head for the weeks finish line. Actually I am working the day following Thanksgiving which I have not done in the longest time, one reason so I will not have to use up vacation or sick leave and more importantly, Dianne will bee babysitting Asher and be gone and sitting home alone does not sound all that fun. So, I might as well be at work taking whatever calls may come.

Thanksgiving is going to be at Dianne's and my house and sounds like Mark and Jasmine will be attending along with BG&A2 who, last I heard are preparing the lions share of the meal—there was some misunderstanding at first as to where the meals was to take place but I guess all has been settled an the meal will be at the Utahna House. A large part of the decision was made because of the wheelchair and the inaccessibility of other homes being considered. We had talked earlier and I thought the decision of having the meal at out place was a done deal then all of the sudden I hear it the location has changed for the kids place which is not accessible all, also meaning I would have to go in my manual chair and I just don't do will with being in my manual chair away from my house and the access my house affords me. So,I stick to my guns people cave an I m left looking like the family jerk, which in fact I probably am. At this, once again, I am left with just the feeling of wanting to get through the event with the least amount of stress possible.

So ho ho ho and here we go for a nother holiday season, already the calls are long, many and dismal, gas shut offs, evictions and general homelessness but you know what I am going to be up this year throughout the season, keep focused

Submissions

I just sent off a page of poetry submissions to VSA Utah, Art Access VSA-AA. The submissions are for their literary magazine, Desert Wanderings. VSA-AA publishes a volume almost every year and I have had submissions in many of these volumes. VSA-AA is a fairly high brow operation aimed at getting people with disabilities into the arts I initially got involved when a friend, Lori, e into an acting company twenty some years ago. Art Access was cool, a lot of exposed warehouse bricks gleaming hardwood floors and a chance to play grown up writer, actor, artist a couple times a year. Art Access was housed in art colony, a row of warehouse conversions into art lofts—once a month the whole community opens all their galleries where food and public mingle and wine flows and and everyone speaks local art. I have co-written and produced a small play at Art Access and as I said have had a number of time published via their Desert Wanderings. I have thoroughly enjoyed each and every opportunity Art Access has extended me, over the years—but, what I have enjoyed most was the chance to act the grown ups a couple o times a year, wear my plaid jacket with elbow covers and a dark or white turtleneck and stand round in small groups answering questions about something I had written in the years current literary offering.

I have not submitted anything to the journal the past coupe of years—I should have I either forgot or I had nothing to submit well, I am starting write again, I blame on my Thrive, my hand held. I am writing hai ku on the train—I want to write hundreds, I want to write enough hai ku to fill a book. I am trying to focus on the poetry of public Transportation. I might even try to take some images to go along with the poetry—which would be very cool...but for now I have sent away my submissions and lets see if any are used. Keep your fingers crossed and wish me luck.

Used and Abused...Again

I think I have been played a again-I mean people with disabilities are such are such a used commodity. I do not think I would not be as pissed off about the whole used think if we ass a class or me as an individual got something out of the usury.

The whole stated a couple weeks ago when I got called by someone named Mike who identified himself as someone who worked with a private non-profit, some sort of advocacy group with the name of Utah Advocates. It seems the Utah Advocate were putting together an award presentation for a Utah congressman and wanted to ask m to attend nd possibly get some face time with the congressman. The presentation would be at a place to be announced and I would receive more information as the date drew closer. I told him I would think about attending the event and pretty much letting the idea drop until I heard more on the topic or I felt like leaving the office for an adventure. Figuring the event would be held at the congressman's office in South Salt Lake or down town or up at the State capitol which should be fairly easy to get to and not too time consuming.

The event was yesterday and Tuesday afternoon, I got a call from Mike letting me know the event was going to be at the Sandy Senior Center,, all the way at the other end of the Valley. I really did not nt to be spending my whole day in transit. I let mike know, this was pretty last minute and what were they thinking Sandy!! But I got to thinking about the event and I watched the weather actually called for beautiful , crisp, dry yet cool, transit weather. I checked with UTA and I could”bullet” down on the train and hope a “Fast” bus with would take me with in a block and a half of the senior center( I found out later when I boarded the bus that tfor just one dollar the driver would drop me off at the front door center, which I gladly payed) and the trip was very comparable with the same trip time wise if I had driven my van. I went

I think It took me between 45 and fifty minutes to get to the sr center. I had time to kill when I di get there. The congressional delegation was just getting there, there was a little chaos. It just so happened on of my best friend's wives works at the center so we chatted and she grabbed the “Puzzle lady” into giving me my own guided tour of the place and I must admit I was impressed but what this center had to offer everything from computers to languages to pottery music to food. It was weird everywhere we stopped I was surrounded and welcomed into the fold—like I was one of “them”. It was just as easy to nod my head yes then try to explain I as still among the living and I was there on business.

The Congressional finally did arrive and all the players were herded to the common room and the Congressman smiled make small talk and pretended to answer questions from some of the more feisty seniors—sensitive questions were deflected a plaque was given and then the congressman was con. I stayed for lunch—just because I could. This whole event was a non event, something just whipped up to have the congressman get some recognition—the event was pure fluff, pure “wag the dog” So, all day I have been trying to get hold of this Mike guy or his “Utah Advocates” The congressman or his people really don't know them, th congressman was just responding to a request to be somewhere , at certain time smile and talk—they did not know Mike, I have been calling to other private nonprofits and they don't know him—Mike is gone pecan. Myself another high profile person in wheelchair “crips of record” we there they just because we were in chairs to look good. We were definitely used new?

Golden Boy!!

Last Thursday was the Temple Grandin lecture, actually I think it was more like a disability law Center team up with other private non-profit orgs which serve people with disabilities, fund raiser awareness project. Temple Grandin is the PhD animal sciences and autistic not Rain Man autistic but definitely part o the spectrum. Dr. Grandin had a HBO movie made of her life, I usually stay away from such events but since Dianne and I caught the movie on a Red Box offering last summer and we impressed. So when the boss offered us tickets to the event we jumped at the deal. Still, I was a little nervous not knowing what to expect. Since there were so many disability organization sponsoring the event each organization would be responsible for a boat load of tickets and as is often the case these tickets go to staff and consumers when the tickets cannot be sold to the public or board members.

Dr. Grandin was being awarded the Kim Peek, Kim Peek is Utah gift to the world right behind the television, KFC and Family home evening. Kim Peek is who the movie Rain Man is loosely based. Dustin Hoffman receive an Academy Award for his efforts and he gave his Oscar to Kim who became a roving ambassador to the world for disability especially savantism The first part of the night was such a Kim Peek show I was kinda beginning to feel sorry for Dr Grandin who seemed to be wilting on the sidelines. Mr. Peek, Kim's dad, was of course present and with Mr Peek was the Oscar, Dustin Hoffman's Oscar—Mr. Peek sort of pulls Oscar out and passe it round at all his speaking gigs. Golden boy seems a bit worn but good to go. It's a little creepy when one thinks of how many hands have touched on the little guy. I am sure Mr Peek sprays it down with some sort of disinfectant on a regular basis. What was weird was I was not expecting to have anything to do with the little totem and some how he ended up in my lap an since I did have him I decided to document the event –who know it seemed right at the time.

I was totally surprised—the evening was a great event for Dianne and I from beginning to end—from our dinner at Squatters Brew Pub, to the lecture. I was early enough to get the best designated parking area in front of the pub and the theater. What I did was perched my self in front of the parking space I wanted until Dianne arrived with the van. I was only almost run over once my by good friend Stan.

I liked my time with Oscar, I liked the weight, the feel the magic of the artifact, and yes there is a weird kind of magic to the statue—even though I had nothing to do with the little guy at all in any way, I truly felt special for the few moments it was in my possession. I know that does not make sense but true—when you're with Oscar you are special...

Over the River...

Snow fell today making the day for me wet and cold—not that it matters but I rode the train in as usual but the van is, once again, in the shop, needing repair to the lift gate and perhaps the door. I spoke with the shop a few minutes ago and a bolt or something has been sheared off making the complete apparatus unusable. It's November and as the great calendar changed months I felt the change to the Majors, of the holidays Thanksgiving and Christmas and new Years cleaning up.

I like November, November has character—the new TV season is well on the way as is the Autumn season. November feels solid to me. The rest f the leaves will finally fall off the trees,like they have been waiting round for some sort of an invitation—no the have it enough below freezing night to drop the sap on any tree and dropping their leave at the same time. The mountain cold drives the hardiest of the herbivores down to killing zones where men dressed in orange and red lay primed for bloodshed in the name of providing meat for the family dinner table.

November provides that brisk calm before the storm of December with its deadly temperatures and and deadly pace of holiday dances,parties and dinners—I think the Thanksgiving dinner a dress rehearsal for the big events of December. November is stoic as the month resides in the shadows of December just happy to be round provide a platform for things political and patriotic and sadly militaristic. Veteran's fading out in veteran's Day parades and Johnny's coming marching home from what ever military we're involved in. We vote in November and if we're really lucky the right person wins. November I m sorry to say. Is all about football and TV specials, chopping wood and having a fire in the fireplace with popcorn and lots of redbox or Netflixx—so enjoy November, bundle yourself up and the kids and head over the river and through the woods to someone's house you go...

Steam Punk

As a rule, I keep to myself s I ride the train each morning and evening o and fro work. In the morning I am often sleepy from the early hour and lack of sleep; in the evening I am burnt out, tired and often in a foul mood for any number of reasons which could stem from public service. But, I have noticed myself getting into conversations the past couple of days and sometimes quite animated. This is a new behavior for me and I had better watch it. Friday was just such a morning.

I took a later train then usual—Friday is my usual physical therapy day and I usually got into my office quite later and I also catch a later train.--and there is always a whole different crew and I never know what to expect. The train was packed when I got on board there were two power wheelchairs on board and a manual wheelchair stacked with luggage. The driver squeezed me in and I immediately started playing on my Strive—one of the best ways to insure isolation—it did not work this time.

There were a couple dressed in black a women in a power wheelchair and obviously her partner also dressed in black and worked a short top hat. I have learned since I met these two they were followers of Steam punk—Steam punk, a genre which has snuck on me . I should know this genre and I don't. I do now. Anyway, one of them asked about my tablet and how I like it and did I use it as a reader. I answered in the positive n both counts. I became intrigued with these two. I found they were going to a Animi-con being being held in Layton Utah quite a trip for someone in a wheelchair. I found the two save all year to go to this three day con , they stay at a hotel and enjoy the animation. The gentle in the steam punk hat obvious was the care taker and significant other of the women in the power chair, the two were dragging the manual wheelchair which would allow the power-chair user thee ability to get round in the hotel room freely. I was totally blown away—these two were hard core users of public transit.

The woman in the power-chair was seemed to have cerebral palsy, her speech was OK but quite involved physically—she would be a handful. I don't know what their relationship is but they seemed close and significant—most likely married or some derivative of long term commitments. They were off on a adventure on a Friday morning. I envied them. I wished I could go with them. But I had appointments that day an appointment with my boss to see how long my job would last. One of those deep , serious discussions where we discussed things relevant to me and to my future with the office where I worked.. I remember as I took part of this discussion how much I wish I were with this couple living in the moment living in the weekend. Gone...just gone.

"Something's Happening Here..." *

Its been a stressful week—I have been accumulating data for my quarterly report, that document which purports to show your efforts at your employment for the last three months. I have hated to do these in the past especially when the data shown is not the best data or the numbers are lower then what they could or should be.

Now, I must admit I have gone for over a year without producing such a document just because the data was not there or the need for producing such a document did not seem relevant to me since my program has been rumored to be on the chopping block. I am a government employee a state employee and our state like all states round this great country is evolving through slash and burn service modification inorder to bring spending under control. I have been fortunate to have dodged the bullet for the past couple of years but it looks like I am moving slower and slower and the bullets are moving quicker and quicker and I may be headed for a bulls eye. I fear I may soon fall to the financial downturn.

My boss has been great in trying to save my funding as well as various staff members. We have met, configured game plans, re-invented and re-branded, launched new concepts and held more meeting and finally started producing a quarterly reports which again show little difference in the amount of calls or numbers coming into our darling little call center and the goal is to get larger number of calls coming in—nothing has helped my calls flat lined and it seems not a thing I have done has helped a whole hell of a lot. My funders are dissatisfied at best at the worst ambivalent and are threatened to reduce if not pull all together their funding. My boss is busy and does not or cannot devote more of her time to generate further funding streams which would keep my operation alive.

The boss was out all last week, she wanted me to have my numbers and data together all together when she got back into the office—I did not have it and she was unhappy. I have been working on it all week—there has been semi-terse emails drifting back and forth across the office and lots of closed door conversations and my secretary keeps weeping for no reason. tomorrow its all supposed to come together with the veiled threat “and we'll bring up your performance evaluation to see how you're coming along”. I was getting stressed until last night and Dianne and I had a long conversation about what I wanted to do after or if the work/job evaporated. We decided life would go on and I felt relived: why, I don't know I just did. Really, this stress is not worth it, life is just way too short. I need to get into something enjoyable.

*For What Its Worth, Buffalo Springfield

A Media Award

I have been trying to get a post up all week, at least since the Golden Key awards because I know just know my public is dieing to see how I survived the event. Well, I did survive and actually embraced the event and my award—weird I know but here's how the event went down. But the quarter is over and I am get some sort of quarterly report put together before my Boss returns from her vacation next week. I can really do this!

I took the van into work since Friday is my usual Rehab day and then I knew I would still have to get up to the State capital where the event was being held and I am just not sure of my of batteries at all and besides the forecast for intermittent rain. Dianne and had breakfast together at the local IHOP, which I like a lot—we even ran into my wheelchair sales guy and our next door neighbors.

Physical therapy, again consisted of my therapist forcing my durable medical person to fix my chair and try to find a solution to my foot hanger dilemma—I zipped out and drove up to my office and got calls returned and took a couple of new calls and then traveled to the capitol. Actually my boss sent me up to the Capitol early so I could take advantage of the capitol cafeteria—which I did and almost enjoyed until the director of the state Rehabilitation program sat down at my tale and had political conversation. Fortunately for me, I was sitting with another wheelchair user, a real “super crip” who was able to engage the Director. Its a short roll from the State cafeteria to the capitol rotunda.

I had not really told anyone about the award I was getting, however, since my boss is a Director of one of the State agency which serve folks with disabilities she was going to awards program. She was also bring her comrade in arms. I was told by the folks hosting this event that I would get a whole table for my supporters. I did not think much about this fact but I began having visions of me siting all by myself, I would be a man without an island so I offered my boss and her pal a spot—then some one I had met the night before walked past looking lost searching for a place to sit in a sea of strangers so I offered Micheal a place, Micheal was totally grateful and I had nearly a “full-house”. I looked like I was loved.

Here I must confess I thought this was going to bee another “crip” gala but I was wrong. In fact the list of award winner was pretty short just like five or six of us award winners. I really must have done something significant. I got my award. A very heavy piece of glass formed to looking the Earth on a glass pedestal which allowed the globe to effortlessly spin—very heavy a tragedy just waiting to happen. I had to make an acceptance speech which I did not think about at all—which I pulled off OK. I think the people who were there were more interested in my chair and all the bungee cords hanging off the chair. The event concluded at 4:00, not really enough time to go back to the office—I went home to start my weekend...after grabbing a couple of Swedish meatballs. I had had enough glory for one day.

And the Winner is...

Golden Key is this Friday, what a hoot. Golden Key in my mind has always been an inappropriate and degrading, sensationalist use of people with disabilities for the benefit of government programs and the businesses who hire the people with disabilities. SACRILEGE ! A job is a job is a job regardless of how the person with a disability gets the job, the person is working—right? I guess but Golden key is such a Jerry Lewis affair. Oh I used to go Golden Key when the hosting agency served a hot lunch but even then the price was eventually too high for me to pay for a hot lunch and a break from office duties for an afternoon. One must remember the Event was started by a different regime then the on currently in power—whose director I actually like and support—all things being equal. But I do respect the poor counselors charged with services to folks with disabilities in this time o economic down turn with fewer and fewer employes with massive caseloads.

Over the past couple of years I have been producing and staring in an INTERNET broadcast interview show called Access Utah Now. I do two shows a month highlighting some agency or program locally which provides services and supports to families of and people with disabilities. The project has been fun an I have joyed a little notoriety. The main goal in my mind was simply to have another tool in getting Access Utah network out in-font of the public and organizations which serve people with disabilities and hopefully save my job. Yes, I agree totally self serving but I have to admit the broadcasts are usually the most fun I have on a Thursday. We now have 62 programs archived.

A couple of months ago a buddy of mine, Kent, a director of a local assistive technology program, he had submitted me for consideration for the Golden key in Media. I really did not pay much attention to his comment an promptly forgot the discussion until last week when I was contacted by the director of Governor's Council notifying me that I or Access Utah now had one Golden Key 2011 for Media...!

Seriously is this for real? It is and you know what I am going this Friday regardless of what I think or what I have said. If they are going to give me an award I am going to take it and a have fun doing it. Am I a sell out or what. I have to admit the event no longer comes with food and judging by the fact I was notified a week before the event leads me to believe someone else actually was chosen and turned the award down—obvious some one with more personal integrity then I. Its not even job security, I doubt my nomination and award will have an impact whether I might receive more funding come July. I think mostly Kent is a true believer and he nominated me out of the best intentions, I hope. Or maybe I am just mellowing, more then I thought and sometimes it is just nice to be recognized by anyone just for the heck of it.

Slow Down and Save!!!

How much was that part??
Brent and Sue working on my chair repair!

Friday is my rehab day least wise right now—since the State has gone back to the five day work schedule I a having to burn my Sick leave to achieve my rehab. My physical therapist (PT), Sue has been incredibly supportive which is really, a breath of fresh air. I knew going into this morning rehab session I was not going to get rehabilitation as much as some sort of rehabilitation for my powerchair.

As of last night I was still using the foot plate ( which is still on the chair, I fold it upright hen I use the leg hangers). I knew Sue would be upset when I showed up for rehab without the hangers on sincee tat was the whole idea of using then hangers for a week. Then making adjustments when at my Friday rehab session. I was still hopeful, that Sue might be able to figure out how reattach the hanger piece I destroyed on Tuesday. This piece was pretty compromised when I ran the peddle into the crown of the street but if it could be straightened it might just work long enough till I an get the part shipped in.

DD and I had breakfast at the University hospital cafeteria and waited for my session. Sure enough Sure was disappointed but she also jumped right into the problem and attempting a solution. Brent my durable medical sales guy soon showed up and then new P.T. Student joined. We had a team working on my problem. About the only rehab I got this morning was when Sue placed my dangling feet on the red box. Fixing the problem today is the band-aid quick fix—I was not going to or at least drag my feet but I decided I had better just order the piece into the shop and make change. The part itself will cost $90.00 and if they have their staff puts the piece on that will jack the price another $90.00—ouch what go do.

My problem is I like the speed of my chair just too damn much—this get me when I come down an incline and when I bottom out and start my climb I usually push my pedals into the pavement which has caused my problems. I think the chair has a real design issue and be that asst may, I am going to have to learn to live with it....slow down and live a more careful life—drat!! The on going costs are just prohibitive. I was thinking some kind of behavior modification regimen—I am going to have to live my life at a slight tilt—whether I like it or not. I was thinking perhaps I could attach something to my chair which would prevent me from leveling my chair to the point where I will start ramming the street. Then I as thinking why not tie some sort of adverse stimulus to me and running my chair level, balls out. Electric shock! I bet electric shock would produce a quick learning curve—no one else in the group liked the idea but maybe some sort of sound stimulus could sound out when I was at a perilous hanger angle. Either way I am going to havee to do something this wheelchair living is just too expensive!

“Tilt and Slow Down

Unbelievable this is seriously true. Lat night I leave work and I am heading for my home bound train and I am being good crossing the street tilted back in my chair just a little so the foot peddles are not hitting and pavement or anything else which might cause the peddles damage. I get to the Planetarium station, just across the street and I see the Blu-line and train, the train I need and everything leaves my head and I crank-up them speed. You guessed it as I come of the crown of the street my foot hangers dig into the bumps of the raised blind warning pad on the sidewalk driving the foot peddle into my chair breaking the hanger at the exact place as I had done the day before. I could not believe it. I just there in traffic stunned—I finally tipped the chair back and limped the rest of the way top the platform. I of course missed the train.

I limped all thee way home with my chair tiled back. My right foot kept slipping back and of the plate but I was just great full I had not had Josh take off thee foot-plate. I was crestfallen, I just wanted to get home. Dianne, who had been meeting me at the train station all week was out shopping and did not meet me so I forged ahead home—I needed to get the peddle out of its receiving part, this is the part which I destroyed and at least with the hanger out and my foot-plate down I could cruise with a little comfort. I thought of stopping at a service station even at strange houses in the neighborhood where I had noticed folks working on cars. They would understand. But nogo no one was out. I even considered at an automotive place like Sears Automotive or Pepboys bur just decided to go home. I lucked out in that no sooner had I got home and was outside on the deck waiting for DD or anyone to come home—my across the street neighbor, Dan, came home and I swooped. Dan pulled the foot hanger off sand I was free of the offensive broken part.

Now, I have to once again head back to the wheelchair shop. This time the repair is going to be expensive, time consuming and I will not doubt have it all over to do do again when I next run my foot peddle into the street. I was hoping could get Frank or someone to pound the piece straight he said he could not do it because the metal is so brittle—he feels the part would surely break. I still think I can do it—even if the piece held or a day. I called the shop this morning and started the process of ordering in the part I need. The part is nearly $100.00 if they install the part it will be another 84.00!! Frank says he'll install the part if I can get it in. So that is where I am waiting for the part to arrive and tomorrow I have rehab and I know Sue is going to want to see me with m,y new foot peddles in place...well it isn't going to happen tomorrow but I am going to start the process of training myself to “tilt and slow down”.

Parrell Univeresis

Wednesday morning, and indeed, it this week is becoming a long week but as they say today is “hump day” and I am feeling I can make it to the weekend. I kinda felt I had better follow on the trip to the wheelchair shop. Luckily the foot plate, the platform, I have been using to support my feet, th device which came with the chair, has not been taken off so I removed both hangers and returned to using the plate. I left the office and hopped the 200 Southbound and got into Bad Ass Coffee and to Magic rest way before (20 minutes) way before my appointment which was 4:00 pm.

I kinda of had been building myself up ever since I made the call for the appointment that I knew they were going to try to screw me and I was going to have to hold my ground if not get a little bit offensive. So I rolled in with” my shields up”. I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised. Since the part I needed was already in station it was just a matter of having the technician install the piece. At first the tech was going to charge me for one hour's labor which would have been $84.00 and that just was not right. I did not have to say anything. Magic Rest did it right and blew off the shop fee and installed the broken piece. So, the only thing I really spent was the using of “sick” time.

So, thee Leg hangers are on and I continue to get “used” to them. The discomfort stage is over however I am still getting used to my feet being parallel to each other. I actually kind of like the feeling it gives me. What I have notice is how many other folk have noticed how straight I look sitting in my chair. So the back, leg hangers and cushion are in place and seems to be making a difference. I still have the Sales rep I have been working through coming to meet with me and my physical therapist this coming Friday to tweak” the chair and the new parts so everything will work together. I am having a it of an issue as to how I appear in thee chair. I feel like I really look more gimpish then I have ever before. I don't know I think it's how my feet look: so parallel so un-natural to how I have looked for decades. But, will give this new look the benefit of the doubt and see where it takes me...

More of the Same

I get so frustrated in trying to live as someone with a disability. I actually I have done pretty well for the 40 some years I have been disabled. I have been fairly healthy, independent and self driven bu the past couple of years I have been spiraling, what seems downward. I am aging out of all the good things I have been in this life and I really don't think there is much I can do bout it.

I have been doing physical therapy, for s much as my insurance will cover the past couple of years; partially to develop muscle or strengthen what muscle tissue I already have to assist me in my activities of daily living you know: showering, using the toilet, get dressed. I have also dipped back into ye ole medical to get some pressure sores repaired. The benefit of being enrolled in a P.T. program is this association opens up channels to get more equipment a person might need to stay independent. In fact I have just about got a complete rebuild on my powerchair.

I started breaking down skin on my butt recently which led me to ordering A NEW SUPER IMPROVED wheelchair cushion. I have never had so much professional intervention in purchasing a new cushion. The device finally came in and I picked it up and started using the cushion a week ago. I have to admit I was disappointed a little. I did not get as much butt relief as I had anticipated even though cushion is maybe a quarter to half inch higher then the worn out cushion. This does not sound like a lot but in economies of scale, an inch can be like ten feet. So, I have really had to use all my strength to get myself up into this chair in the mornings when I transfer from my manualto the power chair to begin my day.

The leg hanger finally came in last week. The hangers are the last step in the process of rebuilding my chair so I might continue being a productive old guy with a disability my PT called the shop and and found the parts in last Friday morning and I scheduled the following Saturday get the parts an start using them and getting used to them so when I go into therapy this coming Friday we will know where to tweak the devices and make them better. And of course this morning on the way to work I break one of the hangers—Grrrr. What is it with me. The right hanger's foot plate was not tight and when I drove my chair down the ramp and onto the sidewalk then onto the street I ran into the crown of the street breaking the cast iron part which is critical to having the hanger be functional.

Naturally when I get into the office I have Frank look at the part and diagnosis the issue, I all my shop and begin the process of getting this piece repaired or what ever. There was so issue of me having to pay for the labor to restore the part but they called while I was out at lunch and will eat the labor. Now, I just have to saddle up and bus down( burn vacation or Sick, at least 90 minutes) to the shop. Its going to be a long week.

Of Spiders and Hobos

The fall is almost here, the cooler weather has rolled in and we have had storms and thunderstorms which I feel is very odd for this time of year. I have been looking round for long sleeves and turtle neck shirts. The ride into the train in the morning is uncomfortably cool and we have thrown another blanket on the bed. Summer is gone.

This last week was the first week the State has returned to the five day week,work now begins at 8:00 and is over 5:00 pm. I have done my share of griping but I am rolling with the change ok. I am forcing myself to sleep in an hour and am enjoying leaving for home aa half hour then I used to. I am also getting an extra day to work and take phone calls. So change back has not been too bad so,I need to stop my bitching.

The spiders are coming into house from yard now the temperature is dropping and the hobos are looking and finding anything they can to give them some protection from the night's cool downs. I am amazed every day when I use our bathroom I have seen huge daddy long legs and I have found out daddy long legs are great to have a round since they eat a host of other spiders which might invade the house. I can deal with daddy long legs. Hobos are another challenge. When I came to work on Tuesday I was met by what looked like a bundle now from the front door to the building I work. I am usually the second person in the morning. Frank the accountant, is usually first in and the door to the building iss unlocked. But not this day frank had not yet come in. I had a suspicion the bundle housed a person but was not totally sure until I looked close and saw a had poking out of the end of the bundle and the hand moved! I thought better of unlocking the door and decided to go round to the back and unlock the back door.

I started my day: cranked up my system, made the coffee and popped two pieces of bread into the toaster oven and got them toasting. I often make toast which I slather with peanut butter and eat for breakfast. I could not get the body in the front of the office of my mind. I was seriously thinking of making a couple pieces of toast and waking the hobo it toast and coffee. Luckily, Bonnie showed up and made short work of waking and sending the sleeper on his way. I sort of feel I failed as a human, as missing an opportunity to put someone in front of myself. But I am not stupid, I have brothers and sisters and know what can happen when someone who does not want to be woken is woken. I have still not fully got over another body I came across earlier this Summer, one who was not going do go on his own any time soon. But still, I feel sad as each day the hours of daylight shortens and the night grown longer, dark and colder. The Spiders and hobos are at risk

A Council of My Peers

I am a half hour from a yet another meeting in the quest to keep this position live.
Today we have invited representatives from different I&R's throughout the area to come together as a resource council. The council is not my idea but the bosses as a possible way to increase funding to keep my position afloat. I have to admit I'm a bit nervous to bring this in front of my peers, if I have peers.

Five Days Aweek!

This week the State returned to the five day work week, hours returning to the traditional 8:00 am-5:00 pm, we're into day two, actually three, if you count the holiday Monday as being part of this week. I would love to say I am open to this change, and that I am going to make the best of it—which I will, but I am not very open to returning to the five day grunge. After all as many of you know the reason I started State employment was because this position I am in was set up as a 4-10 work week. Granted when I hired on this was a two operator office and we covered each others position—I had Friday's off and my partner had Mondays and the world was right. However, with the recession, depression or what ever, things all changed and particularly in the State universe. Little by little my funding dried up, I lost my other operator and had to return too the five day week until the governor, the last governor went to the four day week and now we're back.

Looking at the five day week seems more more ponderous then the five day week actually is. I m going to have to re-arrange my life a little. I am going to keep my physical therapy appointment on Friday mornings and just take off sick for as long as I have PT—I should have more then enough hours in my State sick leave account. Then this Friday I have one of my quarterly meetings—which runs from 11:00-2:00 and with travel I I should only be in the office two hours, late in the day. So, the bright side, this is not so bad I just have to get used to the extra day. I start my work day an hour later then I did on the four day schedule, but the later hour does not help me much since I am an early riser—once I am dressed in the morning I am gone. The only benefit I do enjoy is that now I can stop for breakfast along the way—which I did this morning—the golden arches and they have WiFi that is free. I will survive.