Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Spring In The Light Of Other Days

The perennial rat Fink by big daddy Roth

In about six hours spring will officially begin in this hemisphere but that's not what this blog is about today. Again this morning as I lay in bed pondering because I couldn't get back to sleep (around 4:15 AM) my mind fastened on a spring day I remember from the mid-60s in southeast Boise. The time had to be around 1962 or 63 are even 64 because I was a teenager and I was at East junior high school. I was able bodied so is before my accident which is in 1966. I lived in southeast Idaho as I've written about in the past and does actively writing the little Yamaha that I had access to the time.

It's not like I was this massive motorhead I was not. I wish that I was but I was beginning to hang around with the crew that were definitely more motorhead oriented than athletic. Of course was listening to the Beatles at the time, music wise, but I also was listing to Jan and Dean, the Beach boys and other rock music centered around automotive/motorcycle/motorbike living. I was beginning to hang out with friends that actually were motorhead's, Larry Crouch, John Messmer, Ed Seeman and a few others. They always had copies of Hot Rod Magazine and were semi-artists cartooning different auto motive tropes like I think, big daddy Roth and of course the perennial Rat Fink character. I think in my own way I was looking for some sort or group to identify with as my “tribe”.

One of my best memories of that period was a quarter-mile drag strip which been measured off out on Gekeler Lane. Gekeler letter was a straight Street probably well over a mile in length. It's main claim to fame was the home address of Triangle Dairy major enterprise in Southeast Boise. A major Holstein heard not twice a day with milk trucks running all over Boise in the old days when milk was delivered to your door and half-gallon bottles, actually any way that you wanted, and you still had to remove the cream that seeped to the top of the bottle before one really use the milk. I can actually say I raced a vehicle on the street once maybe twice. One time I think I actually fired up the family Studebaker truck which was a far cry from a hot rod but still a combustible engine and begin above 30, prerequisites for the quarter-mile strip. Also I think I remember either running or riding with Larry Greenas we raced his Crown Vic (Victoria). Larry's crown was beautiful two-tone, two-door blue-and-white ragtop. I never did witness a large groups of kids at the quarter-mile but they tended to drag race often on. The cops didn't bother them much and was sure a lot of fun. It seems like I float back to that period every time I hear Monday Monday by the mamas and the Poppas or Paperback Writer of course by the Beatles .I think I only did the truck once by that period of time my dad was smart enough to start writing down the mileage on the odometer. But motorcycles and other people's vehicles were certainly open game.

On days like today when the sun's out and for the first time the thermometers is inching toward 60°, this year I feel the pull of some invisible rope trying to drag me back to Gekeler Lane and hot rods and hooligans.

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Sitting Preety All Charged Up

Last night I took advantage of a program offered by the University of Utah at the senior center next door to our apartment complex– – I wrote about it in last night's blog. Interestingly one of the participants at the senior exercise class mentioned are asked what kind of mileage I got with my batteries on my power chair. I wish I could just stop and give a succinct answer but I always end up overthinking the response. The lady went on to explain that she had been the mother of a daughter with cerebral palsy who used a power chair and this is really's quite some time ago back in the early days of powered mobility. The ladies questions really got me thinking. I really do enjoy my power chair and all the independents my power chair affords me. I think about this a lot. I don't know if I could live independently, in my own apartment, on my own as I do without the power chair. I shudder to think what would happen if I was forced to try to live out of my manual chair for one reason or another. I kind of think I could do it but it would be very difficult but I think I've regained enough strength that I could. Still though, I pour out of my bed into my chair in the morning shuttle into the kitchen to and on the coffee and NPR back to the kitchen as the coffee perks are drains or whatever coffee does these days and shave and get ready for the day. I dress sitting in my power chair getting my shorts on then allowing the chair to lean back to the point where my leg spasm and push me up and I'm able to polo shirts on. With the use of my sticks and up play my feet up onto my lap one of the time and putting my shoes on the Nepal on my shirt and I'm done. Then like today I'm off to catch the bus first going to the Buffmire center then over to Assist, Inc. from a Tuesday meeting. All this I'm doing zooming around in my chair never even thinking that my chair will fail.

I told the lady yes the batteries cost a lot but they're worth every penny and I'm constantly out on the road with my power chair. She was suitably impressed when I told her that I was closing in on 3000 miles on this chair. I think her child was using when the first power chairs which were kind of iffy at best. My first exposure to power chairs really was with my buddy Eugene Diffendaffer (I love writing that name) who I met in Rehab at the Elks rehab center in Boise in 1966. His neck break was higher than mine so he was more severely affected. He did not get a power chair until a few years after his trauma in pushing for him was very difficult. But when he got is power chair I marveled how cool it would be to have such device but was always counseled against it for fear that it would rob me of what must what already had. This chair is pretty delicate file and I know what this lady meant. I range all over the city. My chairs filled the only minimally. I do charge the chair every night even when I don't need to. These batteries now are wearing out and significantly have lost their ability to hold a charge but I still can count on them for 5 to 7 miles per charge which is a great distance using public transit to get right need to go. Today has been a fairly high intensity day as far as mileage goes with trips to the end of Redwood Road then onto downtown Salt Lake and back again. And I'm only at 2.7 miles distance on my odometer. If I felt better today being Tuesday—cheap seat Tuesday at the movies—I would've taken the bus up to the movies. However, I felt to fragile after being in the elements all morning. I didn't take a jacket with me which I wish I had and I think I got too cold. Maybe I am just being a wuss. I'm just thinking of my power chair and how thankful I am…

Monday, March 18, 2019

Stretch 123

I think I've mentioned there is a senior center adjacent to the building here where I live. I believe I have also complained about how the senior center is really not fully accessible to seniors with significant disabilities. I don't know if that's by plan or just oversight. However, be that as it may I still want to utilize the facility and I'm going to squeeze myself into that facility whether the management likes it or not.

I workout everyday of the week except Sunday. By working out I mean I crank my arm bike 30 minutes. I use what is called a Saratoga Silver it's pretty old technology now but still works well for me and my needs. There is a computer program that runs the resistance of the arm crank and I really like this piece of equipment and I'm thankful to have access to this in my own apartment. I at one time was involved in the University's program of disability weight training type stuff. I think it cost like 35 bucks a month and was the bad program but I had to access their equipment in a facility quite a ways away from my apartment which would mean a lot of public transit every day except the weekends. Still I may have to resort to going through the University program again since they are the only folks in town, more or less, which serves folks with severe disabilities in any kind of a workout program.

There's a bulletin board in the mailroom here at the apartment complex which of course posts all kinds of ads and bulletins of one sort or another. Housekeepers looking for work, senior programs earn a few bucks on the side and of course take the last cruise of your life. I was interested a few weeks ago are now months ago that the University of Utah athletic department has a program here at the apartment complex or actually over at the senior center where students post a workout session twice a week Mondays Wednesdays from 545 to 6:45 PM. Sad, I must admit I was interested but by 5:45 PM I am about done for the day. I want to watch the news, have some dinner right my blog and zone out on some TV before I go to bed. I have forgotten the program every week until today. The weather is beautiful today upper 50s I don't need a coat and of course we are now into daylight savings which means much light at the end of the day. I actually went over to talk to the folks about their program. Tonight the program was facilitated with four very athletic looking women for the University. There was also for seniors five counting me. I worked out with the crew tonight and it was an okay work out especially for being next-door and being with other people. Of course everything which was done was primarily done for folks that were able-bodied but old. However they did have some weights that I can put on my arms and get some upper body workout going more so than just what I do with the arm bike. I tried to work out as best as I could with the group. There was actually an a multiple block walk before we started class which probably didn't do me any good doing the walk in my chair but you know what else could I do? There were stretches, there were exercises where I had to move my arms at the same time one direction than the next direction then back again. I must admit it was really a workout I was getting kind of tired towards the end. Of course I cannot do the deep knee bends, squats are running in place but that's cool. I think I got a fairly decent workout plus there's the advantage of talking to one of these little trainers and them giving me some insights on what I can do at home on my own to stretch and works of muscles that I'm not doing now.

It wasn't the best workout in the world but felt like I was doing something good for myself and it was something I could do right across the street from my apartment complex. I don't know how long I will do this and I'm sure the program will dissolve and school lets out for summer break but until then I have a place to mingle on Monday nights and possibly Wednesdays as well. All this, socialization and workout music life doesn't get better…

Sunday, March 17, 2019

Red meat And Green Cabbage

I think we've established that I'm not a big believer in St. Patrick's Day nor have I ever been a big celebrant of that day either but I like to have a reason to celebrate anything actually these days particularly if celebrating the event involves cooking. Today involved cooking. I have to admit I was a little intimidated about the concept of cooking brisket but it seemed like it would be much easier just plopping the whole thing into the slow cooker and then ignored for half a day. Which is basically what I did. I actually slept until about 7:30 AM which I hardly ever do. But I did get up and eventually pulled the brisket, three pounder, out of the fridge but still off and put the brisket in the slow cooker. When did they start calling a crockpot slow cooker? I know that's what the crockpot does but really “slow cooker” spare me. The brisket was a bit awkward-squarely might be a better term. I was a little overwhelmed by the amount of blood the brisket was swimming in and figured I had to drain and rinse off the beef before I placed it in the crockpot/slow cooker. I don't know why I did not see it coming, actually I did, but once I had cut the end off the plastic the meat slipped right out into the sink, handling the meat was little slimy—not a bad slimy just a slippery slimy like something dead and slippery—but I finally corralled the piece of meat, rinsed the meat off and plopped it in the crock added a little bit of water and covered and put the cooker on high. The one recipe I read called for slow cooking the product 11 hours that really seem like overkill in the did want a sitting down to eat at 8 o'clock in the evening. I figured I'd be cool by five 6 o'clock.

I have more than once regaled myself for cooking this St. Patrick's Day dinner. 3 pounds of brisket for one person. This brisket is on top of at least a 2 pound meatloaf I couldn't last night which by the way was very tasty. Either way I need to each a small quantities of either product over the next couple weeks or I'm way over my weight. I can't gain any more weight what goes on must come off and that is truly grueling. Just for the record I am continuing my ingestion of vinegar water, specifically Bragg Apple vinegar water . 3 tablespoons and 8 ounces of water every morning chug it down. I've come to the realization that the concoction doesn't do anything except maybe fill you up a few moments after you drink all that water at one shot and maybe if you go without breakfast it may have an impact on the overall weight gain. I kind of doubt it perhaps just focusing on the drinking as a weight reduction intervention that might have an impact as well but is not a magic bullet that I can tell. But I must agree with my buddy to turn me on to this process just drinking the concoction once or twice a day so makes you feel better give you a bit of a left then again it might all be in my head. I think going to have to drink a lot of Brag apple vinegar to work past this protein weekend.

I called the brisket done about 6 o'clock just a 60 minutes was starting. I cut half full head of cabbage through it in a pot of hot water in tenderized six wedges. I pulled the brisket out cut off a few pieces the taste. I may have cooked the brisket too long. I don't know why they said 11 hours. I like the sample end that I had. I fished out the carrots the potatoes and put them together on my plate fished out the cabbage put on the plate as well and took a picture. It was a real St. Patrick's Day dinner. I feasted enjoy as I watched 60 minutes and patted myself on the back another meal well cooked.

Saturday, March 16, 2019

Saturday Night Meatloaf

I just did a blog search or a search of my blog to be more specific for the term “meatloaf” because I'm writing again about meatloaf tonight and I was afraid I was becoming a bit redundant and you know what I must have 10 to 15 references, at least, to meatloaf. References to either making a meatloaf, thinking about making a meatloaf, receiving a meatloaf is a gift are other possibilities of meatloaf. I'm just blown away at my seemingly preoccupation to meatloaf. With that in mind I know I should probably pass up this, once again salutation to meatloaf but you know what? It's my blog and I'm writing about meatloaf specifically Saturday night meatloaf.

I'm not going to try to fool myself, or you, that Saturday night meatloaf is different then Sunday afternoon meatloaf are Wednesday meatloaf. It's all meatloaf and it's all good. Meatloaf was the last thing on my mind today as I really enjoyed the first full day of sunlight that we've had for some time with even a little bit of springlike temperatures. It's a Saturday and things are always a bit more relaxed on the Saturday. I know a lot of retirees say that all the days of the same to them. I was even thinking back on my buddy Albert, next door Albert who died when his Mercury Cougar was tapped by another vehicle causing the steering wheel air bag to deploy bashing him in the head causing an aneurysm or brain bleed or whatever happens when the head gets traumaed. Al commented more than once especially on national holidays how each day felt the same there's no difference. Anyway it feels like a weekend to me, regular staff is not here, there are visitors who show up to see family that you don't see during the week there's definitely a a weekend feel to the joint. The only task I really gave myself today was to get over to the market and purchase ahead of cabbage for tomorrow's St. Patrick's Day dinner. I thought I had a couple of heads of cabbage rolling around my refrigerator but when I checked on them indeed they were cabbage but pretty much in the past tense. The leaves, when I started peeling them back trying to find usable produce, had a really bizarre papery texture almost like toilet tissue but tougher. I execute a couple pieces of cabbage leaf and I had a distant flavor but was definitely not viable for the celebration of an Irish holiday.

It's Saturday and I washed clothes yesterday and folded the clothes. I decided to go over to the food bank and get my weekly stash (I go over every week, as the readers know, but I read the information bulletin on food bank today – – really for the first time and it says that I'm only eligible to go three times a month. I guess they like me) I really love this exercise today scored big-time with a filet mignon, frozen shrimp and high-end meatloaf! I decided to cook the meatloaf today that way I will have the meatloaf for next week even though I'm going to have a huge sucking brisket of corned beef. I'll freeze what I don't want to eat.

I totally enjoyed having this meatloaf, it's a two pounder all set to go in its little pan an everything. I shoved it in the oven at 375 and cooked it for 45 minutes. The meatloaf is okay it's not the meatloaf that my mom would've made and it certainly is not the meatloaf that I would've made. Doesn't seem to have onions and definitely not the green peppers I would use its even light on the garlic. However cooked up nice and has enough tomato sauce/catch up on the top to let it pass is delicious the best part I didn't have to destroy my kitchen putting the thing together. I almost dropped it trying to get out of the oven but decided just let it cool down naturally I did slice off a couple of the end pieces just to do the taste test and I was more than pleased. It will be cold by the time I go to bed and now drag it out of the oven than quickly throw it in the refrigerator for this coming week…

Friday, March 15, 2019


I have been trying something new the past week or so and that is to generate ideas for blog entries from the early morning just before I rise. I typically get up around 6 AM. On days that my home health person, Dana comes I am for sure up at 6 AM other days Tuesdays Thursdays Saturdays and Sundays I may sleep in till seven if I'm really really lucky that you rarely the case. Many times on the 6 AM days I actually wake up around five and those on and off till 6 o'clock. This is one I've noticed I will be focused on a particular idea or thought and often stretch it in the 500 words or more for the days blog. I really appreciate this because sometimes I get spooked them not to be able to come up with anything. This new method is been so productive actually gotten a couple ideas backed out so I'm no longer stressing, worried that I'll be a blank slate with nothing to write.

It's kind of funny that sometimes you actually have an idea that would be a good blog entry and not even realize it as golden. And I have to be sharp. At first I thought I'll remember these, but invariably if I don't write it down one where the other immediately the idea evaporates and no matter what I do I cannot find the gem that I had. Sometimes may be I might get close but I can tell just not as perfect as the initial idea and sometimes, just sometimes I come up with the exact same thought I love those moments. Dana's great! I really enjoy having her as a home health professional. One of the best parts about Dana is that she is a professional but she's not so caught up being a professional that she cannot be human I guess that makes her human professional which I truly appreciate. Dana is really good for me. She thinks I'm a bit hypochondriacal and she's right. I always think I'm sick I'm getting sick. I don't think I'm is bad is the roommate on the odd couple (Jack Lemmon in the TV series) but Dana spends a lot of time refocusing me. One of things I really like about Dana is that she is so counterculture. In another day she'd been a great hippie she still is kind of a hippie. See spiritual and not spiritual at the same time she sees things that other people find disturbing, shocking frightening and weaves the experience into the flow of her daily life. Take for example this morning she was moved me from my power chair over to the shower in my electric left. It's pretty cumbersome I'm cradled in my electric left in being pushed into the bathroom to be placed on the toilet. In the midst of this Dana is talking and suddenly stops she is seeing “the cat”. I of course do not know what she's talking about I do not have a cat and I do not want a cat. I am not a cat person but Dana then informs me that it's a spiritual cat. A spiritual cat? Is she replies “yes” this is not the first She is seen she tells me. One or two other cats she's noticed while she's working with me. For some reason my apartment is a focal point for spiritual cats most likely felines that of lived here or died here over the period at the apartment. It's not a big deal the beast just sits there and watches us in the way cats do. If I wanted to I could let this kind of freaked me out but it doesn't. I'm happy to have the cats I just don't want the Masters showing up anytime soon…

Thursday, March 14, 2019

The General My Ass

I just got notification from my insurance coverage that my insurance is been renewed for another month. I go month-to-month on my insurance. I believe I've mentioned this once or twice in the past when writing about giving up driving, which I did a couple years ago long before the divorce. Well, it wasn't long before but at least a year before the divorce. I was essentially wearing my butt out dragging myself from my power chair onto the drivers seat of the van. I had a close call one day when getting some videos from the now defunct Blockbuster video way back in May 2013 it was enough for me to give up my driving privileges. This was okay I thought because Dianne would be around if I needed to get somewhere that I cannot access with public transit like after hours or on weekends. I stopped driving and then let my license lapse that was a mistake.

Fast-forward to now (about six space years) figure in to stenosis operations, major loss of mobility/independence, one divorce and getting my white van is part of the settlement of that divorce. I really didn't want the van the Dianne did not want it either “it's a truck I don't want to drive truck” I've had the van ever sense. And dedicated reader will note that I didn't even use the van for about a year and a half until last summer when we decided to get the vehicle registered for the family reunion. Again if one would research the blog with the little search square search for family reunion you be able to read more about that event and what it took to get the vehicle functional unlicensed. I have chosen to keep the vehicle license now but I have probably driven only three times since the reunion!I found out that when I went to purchase insurance for the vehicle that because I let the vehicle set for more than a couple of months my old insurance company either would or could not ensure me through their company and have to go to a high risk agency. So technically I'm still going through American Family Insurance but but I'm paying the money to The General! I'm paying about $103 a month! And fortunately, or unfortunately, I have it set up the payment comes directly out of my bank account. I got dinged a couple months because I was late with my insurance payment the penalty was significantly. Hundred dollars a month! That is $1200 a year!! I can ride a lot taxicabs for $1200 a year. Still, I like having the vehicle there if and when I needed even if I would need to charge the battery because I do not drive the vehicle enough to keep the battery charged. Seems to me I should be able to get a lower insurance rates. I need to start checking around. I like the Geico people especially the little lizard guy. I also like the Liberty commercial.. I think I'm going to explore what they have to offer and get out of this high risk insurance writing to screwing me over big time.

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Eight Grade English

Image result for orange Nehi images

In 1961 Harold Robbins published Carpetbaggers a salacious paperback novel loosely patterned after the life of Howard Hughes nor did not know that until just now when I was searching for one paragraph out of the whole volume. I of course knew nothing about the volume in 1961 I was 10. I would actually not interface with the book and tell 1964 when I was in the eighth grade, probably around 245 in the afternoon as I sat in Mrs. Sowers eighth-grade English class, at East junior high (another of my historical landmarks which has been raised).

I don't know where the book came from but for some reason that afternoon the questionable piece of literature is making the rounds in eighth-grade English. We sat in alphabetical order of course Mrs. Sower was anything but pragmatic. All I remember from that afternoon was that Rena Rodwell sat in front of me (my last name being Smith and Pam Turner sat behind me. There had been a rumble all morning and afternoon about The Carpetbaggers. The Carpetbaggers was hot and the must-read part was the scene where there's a naked girl drinking orange soda, orange Nehi soda in the soda runs out of her mouth down her throat between her boobs and out of the sheets of the bed. This is all witnessed by the protagonist of the book as he happened to walk past a room on a hot and sultry southern afternoon. The passage was marked by dogeared fold over of the page. It was quietly being passed around from one person to the next all through the school. I doubt that I was supposed to love read the passage after all I really wasn't part of the in crowd, so to speak. However Rena Rodwell and Pam Turner were and I was sandwiched in between the two. I remember Monday my own business probably trying to desperately follow along to either a play which is being read our discussion that Mrs. Sowers was leading when I was nudged on the back by Pam Turner and as I turned around to see what she wanted she thrust the volume into my hands. I have to admit I was impressed. Someone had taken one of those contact glue book covers that you can adhere to the book you want to protect and applied it to the front and back of the volume The Carpetbaggers. Someone had gone through a lot of work to cut the book cover down from its large size the size to fit the paperback book. I can still see the volume the school colors were orange and black. The book cover was orange with the letters EJ H on the front, actually just a portion of the letters because the tops of been trimmed off in order to fit onto the book cover.

I knew the book had to go to Rena but since I had access I thought I would read the passage and it was hot almost too hot a 13 year old to handle. Hands shaking I touched Rena on the back to get her attention. I love Rena but sometimes she was a little slow on the uptake. I thrust the book and her hands, I now want to get rid of it as quickly as possible. She fumbled the book at the floor and Mrs. Sower stopped her lecture and I the camouflaged paperback lying on the floor facedown page open to scandalous words. She asked Rena to please bring the book forward. I think Rena took the bullet for the piece of pureient literature. I don't think I've ever thanked her. I doubt she'd even remember me these days. But I know I'll never forget the hot hand off of The Carpetbaggers in Mrs. Sowers, eighth grade English in 1964

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Red Meat Yum Yum Eatem Up!

Related image
Do you know that I'd never had real corned beef and cabbage and tell I was married to Dianne. Seriously, I had never cooked a real corned beef. I figured you made corn beef and cabbage (which you can we sure as heck did as a kid) with cabbage and a couple cans of corned beef. I love canned corned beef. I really thought that was the way you had corned beef for us from that little can with the key stapled to the bottom which you had to remove and then twist to reveal the meet product. Three of my favorite meats came this way one was corned beef, than the ever tasty spam and finally Kipper snacks. Notice I don't even include tuna fish, sardines, and the jury still out regarding anchovies.

Like I said the only corned beef and cabbage and experienced before I met my third wife was corned beef from a can. I actually liked corned beef and cabbage the vegetable carried the great flavor of the corned beef and you had snippets of the corned beef but the meat is basically small flakes of the meat product. I was totally amazed the first time Dianne made the dish probably for St. Patrick's day. A wonderful red meat – – so I suppose the meat is not good for me but it certainly tasty. Boiled cabbage with small potatoes and carrots served next to slices, real substantial pieces of protein, corned beef. Sliced thin or thick however a person enjoy this late winter or early spring treat. I don't know if I just had the corned beef by itself or maybe the corned beef that I get in the package from the market that has all the peppercorns and who knows what else is part of the corned beefing process , I don't know and the corned beef supper is one of those meals which only gets better with age in the form of leftovers (if the corned beef brisket survives the first setting).

There's snow on It's way tonight supposedly hitting the Salt Lake Valley floor tomorrow so I probably won't be venturing out until at least Thursday when I have to go south for the bookclub. But Thursday or Friday I plan to stop by the market and pick up at least one package of corned beef. I can't believe how expensive the cut has gotten. Seems like in the old days the piece of corned beef was relatively inexpensive. Luckily cabbages are still cheap. Cabbages seems to last forever and am learning more and more ways to enjoy the vegetable. So, I may do the corned beef and cabbage dish on Saturday or maybe just wait for St. Patty's day just to enjoy the full holiday in spirit. Perhaps if I were to do it right I would even have some beer and dye the beverage green that's a lot of work for a non-beer drinker and only one person at my table.

Monday, March 11, 2019

Scam, Scam, Scan!

In Saturday's mail I got notification that my apartment insurance was due. Apartment insurance asserting got suckered into this when I renewed my van insurance after my van had sat idle for more than a year at my apartment complex. Longtime readers of the blog will remember that I got the van insured when we had the family reunion last year. Members the family thought it be a great idea if I had transportation to and from events. I was kind of sucker punched when all was said and done my insurance gone up like 20 bucks or more a month to over 100 bucks!

Now, don't get me wrong I love having the van in fact at one of my poems I equate having a van is equal to owning ground in the old days. Having a working vehicle somehow gives you standing in the community and certainly that you get the places a lot easier than public transit. But everything comes at the price and insurance as part of that price. I probably abuse by Brent twice maybe three times since the family reunion. Mark are one of my friends has to drive of course since I don't have a license. We also have to spend time to get the vehicle charged. I do not drive the vehicle enough to keep the vehicle batteries charged. I would probably have to go somewhere once a week at least to accomplish this feat. So, I am throwing away more than $1000 a year for the price of driving. I am stupid! I know this but I continue to keep the vehicle which means keeping the insurance. I am however going to cancel my apartment insurance which I think is a Royal scam. I know that as soon as I do such a rash act something will happen that would've been could've been covered by my insurance. And insurance by the apartment is not that much really just a few dollars a month but it's just the fact I paying American family insurance for coverage I doubt that I really need. Like I was saying earlier American family insurance is who I used to carry as insurance cover and supposedly I still am but for some reason coming back to my insurance after letting it go for so long I have to go to a high rate of coverage insurance pool something like that. So I'm insured with the “General” it's some sort of high risk pool which is just stupid. Maybe it's just my pride that forces me to carry the insurance on a dead vehicle. Maybe now that the weather is warming and once charged the battery should stay charged much longer and if I work at it I can get someone to drive me around once a week just to keep the battery charged. Am I not seen something? Is there a wicked joke being played on me?Aren't I really smarter than this? I mean actually how many cabs could I engage with $1000 over a years time? I could be going here and there doing this and that even if I just used a cab to get to events I couldn't reach by public transit like in the evenings, holidays and weekends. I'd probably still do all that and still have money in my pocket. But like so many other seniors giving up your personal transportation is just letting go a little bit more of that great American dream…

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Dead Men's Bones

Matthew 23:27 King James Version
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness.

Has been one of my favorite scriptures for probably over 50 years. It seems like I learned this Scripture before seminary possibly from Dennis Dahl I wanted my other smart ass friends. I use the Scripture whenever I wanted to indict a group of people without their really being aware of is casting the scriptorial in their direction—In that same vein whenever I had to give a Scripture reference anywhere anytime I can call on Matthew 23:27. It was my best inside joke. I use the reference often to refer to situations where things looked nice on the outside but were disgusting within.

I don't get me wrong I hate that speak ill of the place for I live but it's sort of like the Matthew quote. The property looks beautiful from the outside and actually looks pretty good on the inside if one doesn't look too closely. I can only speak with any real clarity about my own apartment but I so to get the idea there other issues and other apartments that the tenants have suffered under. In my situation there's the usual wear and tear that you would have with Mark and the Destroyer. I've post a couple holes in the walls torn up the rug. The power chair wheels really chew up the rug especially when the turn causing the right to bunch up and eventually tear apart. I couldn't figure this out at first as I notice the rug is being torn from the metal strip where the kitchen and that the living room begins. We've eventually duct taped the floor/rug in place. The big problem besides the rugs and holes in walls is the floor in the bathroom shower. Actually, the showers okay it's the floor around the toilet and the rest of the bathroom. For one the floor is not flat it seems that there's very small rises and depressions and this causes water to stand when water is used outside the shower itself which we do every time we shower. So not only is the floor and even which signifies to me poor workmanship but I think the tile was put on an evenly as well. It's pretty cheap tile and that's okay I am not judging it's just that when you buy cheap things cheap things happen. So with the standing water in the cheap tile which is not really been applied correctly water has seeped under tiles and begin to rot (I don't know if rot is the right tterm) but the tiles are fallen apart and sooner or later going to completely come off the shower. Like a good tenant I have advised management… Kind of. I want to make sure that they folks knew about what was going on so I wouldn't get the total blame. And they did look at the problem and sort of said they would get back with me. I haven't really followed up because I was also sort of made aware that I would not be able to live in my apartment probably while they were working on the bathroom. I just don't know where I would go. And going to need to shower at some point and I don't know if there's anywhere in this apartment complex I could go. I don't know what they would do the house me for the time it would take to repair the problems in the shower. I am perplexed. But that being said,, I have to do something and make management aware again that my bathroom is getting beat up pretty bad and something has gotta get down.

It may not sound very much like I like this place but I do, it's apartment is one the best living places I've ever been in set possibly my house in Murray. The kind of think this may be the last place I live but one never knows. And I guess as long as it looks good on the inside I'll just dodge the dead men's bones

Saturday, March 09, 2019


My friend Lori-one of the folks in the writers club/Guild has written a play. Actually this girl/woman has written many plays in many stories she's quite gifted. She is the standard for writing. She loves to write she loves to create I wish I was as focused as she. I too would like to write a play, a real play, not a skit like I have done in the past and we called it a play but a real-life multi-act with a little depth play. The good and the bad part of this desire is that I already have a concept idea of what I would do a play about. I've talked about it for years I'm surprised I haven't written about it in the blog – – I did do a cursory review of the blog and I cannot find any reference so this is a first.

The plan mentioned it in writing is called WindowsA play about folks with disabilities on a bus for people with disabilities. I got the idea for the play from a incident which happened to me when one reason or another I was I had to use the local flex trans bus system – – a system for folks with disabilities – – take me home from work for about a week. What intrigued me was there were a number of other individuals on the same route that I was. I guess we are all subscription writers. But, I guess I live the farthest away so I was the last to be taken to my destination. As we took the same route every afternoon I began to notice patterns of the homes we passed cars of the driveways, toys on the sidewalks some yards moan other yards left to nature. In the winter when the darkness came early I could see into homes. The time was 5 o'clock 6 o'clock somewhere in that time. You could see routine of families, single people to whoever lived in these homes with big windows.

The play would be about a group of folks with disabilities on such a bus and a newcomer, somebody who rarely uses public transit and especially transit specifically for people with disabilities. He shakes up the crew by encouraging them to be more independent and to challenge the system they've never thought of challenging before. He challenges the crew to use the mainline service which in some ways threatens the group. This happens because the groups talking about how disappointed they are because they cannot go somewhere or do something because their dial a ride space or paratransit system will not carry them except for designated work related or health-related destinations. They never consider just going out and catching a bus. This is what the play would be about. I've messed with it my mind for years I've even tried to sketch it out. I would like to get one draft of it done sometime before I die but I don't know if I will. I still love the idea though there's just something about the transparency of Windows.

Friday, March 08, 2019

Binging With Popcorn

Don't you just hate it when you have something in mind that you're going to do and you're all set to do it and then you find there is a major obstruction to completing the task you had in mind? That happens to me more than I'd like to think about and once a gain happened to me this evening. Friday night, the kind not to want to stay in, turn the heat up pull the drapes are the shutters and find something on Netflix or just curl up with a good book. The snows been falling all afternoon with this March storm. It's an inconvenient storm not too cold, not really slippery or dangerous for me anyway. I'm finding it's kind of great subscribing to Netflix. I no longer have to worry about crossing the street and see what's going on with Red Box. I'm sure to get an almost new movie but still there's so much stuff on Netflix I'm well entertained. So perhaps even better than not having to get Red Box is having to return the video within the 24 hour period. Right now I am in the middle of watching the remake of the series Lost In Space. The new series is entertaining enough I think they took a lot of liberties in how they've portrayed the characters but like I said series is entertaining.

You might remember a few months ago I did a posting on ordering a new popcorn popper from Great Northern. I've used it once just to say that I've used it right after I got it. I'm ashamed to confess, I popped the corn and then just but the popper away without taking care to clean the popper. So, this evening I've decided I'm going to binge a little bit and watch the last three episodes of Lost In Space making a batch of popcorn to enjoy with the experience. I pulled the popper down from the covered and was shocked to find not only was there popcorn in the bottom of the popper but it seems stuck with some kind of super adhesive residue. I don't even want to think what the material is after all the only thing that was in the popper last was popcorn and oil. But there is a sticky or film like substance all over the bottom of the popcorn with remnants of popcorn and there was more filmy substance on the side seven on the top totally strange. I thought oh well and put everything in the sink ran hot water and soap.that would easily take care of the problem but I was quite surprised that cutting through, which had to be grease, was a major task. It must've taken me 15 minutes of hard scrubbing with hot water and dish detergent to remove, I hope all the material from the popper. I'm hoping now with adding new oil and popcorn that everything will be right. Who knows? I still don't really know how much oil to use with the popcorn. I did consult the Internet and went to the website where I got the popcorn popper and have some direction but I am a bit skeptical. I'm going to give it a shot and see what I come up with. It is almost 7 PM On a snowy Friday night and I'm good and do some serious television with a side of popcorn…

Thursday, March 07, 2019

Tagging Up and Heading For Home

I used to believe I was born under the covenant, but I was not born under the covenant like everything else I was adopted into the covenant which I'm sure is some factoid in Mormonism. Just another way to cover the bases and feel that you are accepted and brought in. Not that really matters a whole hell of a lot now since I'm not really practicing not in the least. However, I must say that like a great baseball player on second base you only lead out so far. You always want to be close enough to get back when you see that picture turn and blast that baseball in your direction. Even when you are trying to beat the cow hide covered or to the basement and just walked back to the bag because you saw the picture look your way, you tag up just to be sure you're safe, not unlike heading back to church after you clutch your hands to your chest and collapse in the checkout line at Lucky's grocery. It wasn't your time but you had to “tag up” you know head back to church, start paying attention priesthood meeting, double up on your tithing are start being nicer to the dog. It all makes a difference.

I was a believer is no question about it. I think at one time I had close to an ironclad testimony. I got up and testimony me and exposed my faith to those congregants. After all I'm a walking talking example of the power of God/priesthood on this earth. And it worked for me. I always had faith, I still have faith, whether as a child praying for protection as I descended the steps to the storeroom under the house where he kept the canned peaches that invariably was my job to get on Sunday nights. I prayed every night before I went to bed that I wouldn't have nightmares because I know I didn't pray I most likely would say with the prayer for the prevention of cavities going nova on a holiday weekend and writhing in agony Until I could get dental attention. Even now as a nonbeliever I have pain of any kind I pray – – I pray every night before turnover to sleep. It just feels right. I think I wrote earlier this year about someone telling me that about being atheist but still praying because it made them feel better when they prayed I understand that. So I've taken out on myself but maybe may or may not prayer is being answered it certainly has a good and psychological affect on the prayer. I pray like somebody else chance there mantra. If God is up there and he hears my rote prayer every evening I hope he understands. I guess I'm a religious opportunist.

I've become aware of a good friend of mine was also extremely LDS/Mormon. He knows many of the mysteries I'm convinced that most Mo don't. He quietly and subtly dropped the bomb that he was seriously considering realigning his religious affiliation with our papal brothers. I wish I could be serious and honest by saying this did not surprise me but it did. But I must admit I'm glad and impressed (this guy always impresses me regardless) he is following his heart. I mean there's a part of me that says he's lost his faith and is following the mystery and the beauty and the Rigor of an two millennial church. He doesn't really believe, just like me and my evening prayers, it just feels good to have something to hold onto as a get close to the end game. I mean seriously secretly wolfing down wafers and washed down with a good holy wine and slip it into the confessional. It could be worse he could be having that late in life affair or coming out of the closet. Either way I understand and accept them for who he is and hope he never stops by my lunch.

Wednesday, March 06, 2019

Legally Addictive Stimulants

Click me now

This morning, early, I was lying in bed waiting feverishly until 6 AM when I would get up and get ready for my home health person. Various thoughts were winding through my head when in a weak moment I decided I would give up coffee, probably cold turkey. I got the thinking that I was actually doing pretty good healthwise. I never really understood why people weren't supposed to enjoy coffee or at least drink coffee because it stimulated the heart and of course would probably lead to a heart attack or other heart disease issues. I never really pursued it to the end – – no coffee no heart stress no heart attack by take the risk?

One of my favorite lines in You've Got Mail where Tom Hanks(Joe) is telling his friend what they're going to “Because we're gonna sell them cheap books and legal addictive stimulants”. Legally addictive stimulants , Coffee.I hate to be so prosaic but you know, I love coffee and I love that line from the movie. I love everything about coffee especially making stuff. I like purchasing coffee beans and taking them home and then opening the package and taking that first smell. There was a time I even stored the coffee beans I was not using in the freezer compartment of my refrigerator. I invested in a small grinder and would grind just enough for one pot of coffee. As you know from earlier postings I did not really drink coffee until my middle to late 30s. So the whole concept was new to me and I very much enjoyed the procedural aspect of the habit. And I'm a lightweight, their coffee drinkers out there were much more anal and I am. And that's cool. I love dark coffee, as dark as you can get it, French roast, Italian and one or two Middle East blends that I doubt I could ever find again.

I was not going to do it but this morning when I rolled out of bed at 6 AM drove into the kitchen the first thing I did was start my process filling up the coffee maker with clean freshwater and loading the coffee into the filter hitting “start” and headed into shave and get ready for Dana. Like always him in the denial. I am convincing myself that I don't drink enough coffee to worry about as far as added heart tension goes, Space of the 10 cups of coffee I made this morning I've only had really one cup of coffee if that much. The rest I will heat up tomorrow and drink as I look around the kitchen the clean kitchen (my clean person Gail, came today I'm so excited) tomorrow's also Thursday which means it's coffee day and the always load be with “take-home coffee” to doctored to go cups which I'll balance on my lap and dump into the coffee that I heated up in the morning and drink the rest of the Day. But tomorrow is going be busy I'll be gone most the day. Maybe I finish it up on Friday as everyone knows coffee lasts forever… Does that make it celestial?

Tuesday, March 05, 2019

Making Sure

I was on my way out the door this morning, running up to the bus stop to jump the 47 into Lowes big-box store for all things building and home repair. I have been thinking for a couple of weeks that I need to get to Lowes and pick up a couple of pieces of quarter Inch dowel that I use for hooks. I thought I had packed everything I needed into my black backpack even the bus pass which I forgot on yesterday's trip. But I got out of the door out onto the sidewalk headed for the bus stop when I realized that I had neglected to pack catheters into my backpack. I almost felt the backpack last night because yesterday when I was out at the movies and they used a catheter realize it it was my last catheter and I need to restock – – there's nothing worse to be out in public and have to P and not have the catheters with me. This lack of catheterization is actually panicking so much so that I turned right around and headed back to the apartment. I like to have 4 or five catheters stuck in my backpack at any given time.
But for one reason or another I used all the catheters in the bag. I grabbed three figuring that's the most I would use and headed back to the bus stop.

The reason I used three instead of the usual five is because I am using my last box of catheters. My orders come with about six boxes of catheters are hundred 80 catheters. This number is based on the fact that I probably use about six catheters during a 24-hour period. I usually never worry about running out of catheters because the organization that I ordered from always are on my case it seems two weeks before I really need almost to the point of annoyance. I'd really expected to get a call last week or I thought early this week but no call came and it was during the weekend that I realized that I was down to my last box of catheters. And actually I think I may still have another box kicking around but I just can't find the box of catheters anywhere. First thing this morning after the 8 o'clock hour when I knew somebody would be in station at my urological supply center I made the call and placed the order. I was a little surprised in that the customer service person alive and did up visiting with indicated that she was supposed to call me and of this week. I thought that was weird because I really know their late calling so I don't know what that's about but either way I got the problem solved the catheters will be mailed later today or tomorrow and I should have them by the end of the week. I probably have about 22 to 23 catheters left. At one point in time this would've really freaked me out thinking that I was going to run out but I've been rethinking an incident that happened a number of years ago when is hanging out with a couple of my paraplegic friends who used intermittent catheterization – – this is before I started sticking my dick. I was aghast we were all drinking together and had to drain, they had to drain, I was watching and sure enough they shared the same catheter. I really thought the world and or at least the sky would fall. Then a couple of years ago I was talking to another friend of mine who is a para-who was astounded at how many catheters I used in a month
and was even more astounded that my insurance paid for it all. He said why would you want to throw away a catheter after just one use? The catheter is not even broke in until you have used it 15 or 20 times. I have about 10 or 20 catheters that I've set aside and keep it in a drawer by my sink. These are my emergency catheters they been used and I've sterilize them under their to use when I run out of individually packaged, sterilized, used only once catheter. I'm now saving out five or 10 catheters a box as backup for when the system fails and no one can get catheters anywhere. I'll be set :-)!

Monday, March 04, 2019

A Fox, A Dog, ad the Serif Of Beauty

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog

above sentence written in Garamond font..

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. I've seen this sentence 1000 times it seems like to me but I've never really understood are realized the sentence is an example of all the letters in the alphabet being used in one specific sentence sort of like the classic placing of the hands of a watch for sale is on 10 and two. I never realize there are age-old constructs in place the only certain groups of individuals know about sort of like the secret handshake.

I just got off the phone with my friend from Holland. It was another marathon call I think I started at 4 o'clock and we disconnected our Internet link just a few minutes ago. It was like three in the morning in her city of Nijmegen, Netherlands. Elske, is the commercial artist and educator at the local community college. I've written about her before, you can go back through this blog through 2018 you see a number of references and some of her work. Elske is a trained artist and technician she knows what she's doing. I guess I had never shared with her that I did a daily blog in tonight I did share with her a link to this blog. Elske was fascinated but she suggested that I changed the font of the blog. I cannot believe how this suggestion threatened me. I'm still having to wrap my mind around the idea of changing the font . I can't believe that the font that I use which is Times Roman is such a big deal to me… unbelievable.

Anyway, Elske suggested that I use the font Garamond. She said it was one of the serif fonts. She thought my blog would be better with Garamond font of the serifs. The serifs?! What the hell is that? I mean I understand I went out of my way to find a font that I liked which is Times Roman of course. I think I like Times Roman because it's blocky are maybe masculine? This is probably a stupid reason for selection of a font but still. She sent me a link to whole websites dedicated to types of fonts and particularly a type called serif fonts. I figured out quickly the serif was the squiggly on the end of one of the letters in the fonts – – I don't think I'm saying this right but that's the only thing I can come up with. I was intrigued that there is whole disciplines of thought focused on the letters words were fabricated from. Even more so I was flabbergasted that it made a difference to me. I was intrigued to read that the Garamound font is considered one of the most beautiful fonts that exist I was intrigued that Elske knew this that had registered such an impact on her.

I don't know if I will this particular font and start writing all the time in this font. It took me forever to go to a size 14 point and I did that just because somewhere I learned that 14 was the comfortable size font to read. So if in fact Garamond is so beautiful and considered one of the most readable fonts but maybe I need to rethink my feelings regarding Times Roman and the beauty of a font with a serif…

Sunday, March 03, 2019


We had snow today. The snow fell all day lightly but constant letting up by midafternoon. Probably an inch to an inch and a half of snow accumulated on the grass in the park across the way from my apartment. But nothing on the streets of the roadways are sidewalks which is good for me. Snow will not be preventing me from making any commitments I might have this coming week. I'm anticipating a light week. The only appointment I have for sure on this Sunday night is my bookclub on Thursday at the library. There may be some need for appearances abut the state capital this week on disability issues. And I want know about those until tomorrow or later. I have projects I need to focus on which is basic research either on the Internet or making some phone calls. So, I can do this from the apartment via the Internet/cell phone. I will probably video chat a couple times as well during the week and once again I really do sense of feeling a full self socialization using these tools.

Mark Anthony was over this evening and helped with cleaning up my desk a little bit as well as installing another magnet rack for my kitchen. I'm pretty excited to have a place to store my cutlery. I was telling market that I'm a bit worried about myself and how content I tend to be here at the apartment with my Internet tie-in to the world in my subscription to Netflix. I do have the Thursday morning coffee group I could go the better part of the week not even leaving my apartment and feel just fine. But I think I will try to take the bus up to 5400 and check out a movie or possibly shop for some spring and summer clothes at Walmart. I saw some cute shorts yesterday. Yes I know, I'm forcing myself to do stuff. I'm even thinking about going next door to the coffee shop, Hidden Peaks and hanging out with some of the morning crew. The only problem with that idea is there mostly Republicans, real live Trump people. Spending significant time around the coffee table here/there is social punishment.

My old supervisor/friend checked in today. We use video chat quite a bit. We communicate a couple times a month. A couple of weeks ago he informed me his position found an irregular mole and Dave informed me today that last week Dave underwent surgery to have the mole removed and it was quite an ordeal to actually put them all the way out. He's got a big Frankenstein suture ball up and down his right arm on the inside. He does not yet have the results and will not until Thursday. I'm certainly sending them positive thoughts and crossing my fingers for a positive outcome. Every time I feel a different pain are bit of discomfort I wonder if I have some form of malignancy. This thought process continually keeps my home health person entertained. I wrote my first the month letters today and got them into the mail. The girls should get their money by the weekending hopefully and the beat goes on, Drums keep pounding rhythm to the brain ladeedadadee ladeedadadoe...

Saturday, March 02, 2019

My Buddy Kelly

 Justin Dart Jr
My Buddy Kelly Buckland
One great Leg Bag

This is my buddy Kelly Buckland. I have known Kelly 50 some years. Kelly broke his neck just a little bit after I did back in the middle 60s. I don't remember if I knew Kelly in rehabilitation, I don't think so it was after that I met Kelly Buckland in Boise so many years ago. I first met Kelly but also in wheelchair vans Breakaway Inc. I was trying to survive on commission sales, that's what I was selling wheelchair vans in the whole concept of wheelchair vans was pretty new And it was kind of a hard sell. Actually looking back, it should been an easy sell but I didn't have much confidence than our support so anyway I was selling anything To do with disability with the hopes that I would earn commissions at the end of the month to survive to the next.

I just begun repping a new leg bag, a brown rubber, latex bag, urine receptacle that can be used over and over. The bag was sold by an outfit called Urocare. This urinary collective device was kind of cutting-edge in fact the bag is still around today but Kelly is the Only one I know who ever purchased one. Up until that point, as far as I know, people were using just regular wear plastic for leg bags. That's what I used seems like they cost something like two one half dollars a bag and I use mine over and over but after a couple months it would invariably spring a leak and have to be replaced. Latex bag I sold Kelly lasted many years from what I was to learn later.

I was intrigued a number of years later when I was working for the Utah independent living center that I found out that Kelly was the executive director for the independent living center in Boise. I couldn't believe it. I don't quite remember how Kelly “twisted” but Kelly was a pretty high quadriplegic. Seems like you is from southeastern Idaho somewhere in farm country. Imagine my later shock when I find that Kelly no longer directed the independent living Center in Boise But had risen to the executive directorship of the National Council Of Independent Living Centers or NCILCs pronounced “nickel”. Now, I'm totally blown away. I wish I knew the story how he did it. Went from director of little Boise independent living center to directing The national agency representing all the independent living centers of the United States of America. Kelly has developed a look of I'm not sure what. Cowboy boots and a big old cowboy hat. He seems to be wearing this outfit everywhere these days. I know he can dress up fine and dandy enough to pass in the Washington DC environment but he chooses to really look the part of rural America. Interestingly, one of the great leaders of the independent living movement was a survivor of the great polio epidemics of the 40s and 50s, Justin Dart Jr. were a similar outfit.

Whatever, Kelly's rationale for his Ranger appearance I support him in all his efforts to bring about a more independent and accessible USA.

Friday, March 01, 2019

Bye-bye greeters

One of the items on national news tonight was a story about greeters at Walmart and the fact that Walmart is trying to shut down there “greeters program”. I'm really quite surprised that this is taken on a national interest like it has. To be honest I'm not really sure how I feel about the whole issue. I don't even remember when the whole concept of greeters began to take hold. Really I'd didn't even go to Walmart and tell Dianne started going to Walmart but it moved up the Taylorsville area just west of our home in Murray number of years ago. I'm quite surprised to find out that some of these individuals that Walmart is looking at terminating have worked there for over a decade 17 years in some cases!

I was at Walmart today is a matter of fact and I almost ran into one of these greeters that was hanging out in the back of the store. I was intrigued to watch how he seemed to be held in high esteem by many of the other Walmart employees. Calling out to him as they walked past, slapped him on the back and really they really seem to include him as part of the employment family. I have to admit however that I've often wondered just what are how much these guys get paid, these greeters. They sit in the front of the store is not like that even greet anybody, many of the folks in nonverbal as far as I can tell having pretty severe cerebral palsy. These guys are usually a big power chairs sitting there like a lawn ornaments. I'm kind of surprised at how many people of come to their defense, the Walmart public. So many in fact have contacted national Walmart management that the corporation is beginning to rethink their decision. Interesting. It sounds like they're going to give these guys the option of trying to find another job within the corporation. I don't know how realistic this is our this is just a smokescreen to take the heat off upper management. But really, I don't mean to be a bad guy, corporate probably does have a difficult time justifying these guys salaries if in fact they get like a real income. Can you even call this a career, greeting people?

You will recall that I spent part of my work life as a long-range planner for sheltered work facility, a.k.a. sheltered workshop. I understand the whole concept of vocational rehabilitation and developing work scenarios for people with severe disabilities specifically developmental disabilities. They have a term in sheltered work called W A our work activities. This is an ongoing exercise for people with severe disabilities (DD are what used to be termed as mental retardation) get up, get ready and go to work at the sheltered workcenter doing supervised busywork and getting paid meniscal amount of compensation. Work activities I guess the looks like work at his work. I'm curious if the employees at Walmart with similar disabilities are under work activities contracts. It seems like most of these employees are folks with cerebral palsy and I wonder if it's a giant sweetheart deal through United cerebral palsy or the like. I don't know. I can't really throwing stones so I have to be careful. I often thought, while working for the independent living center that we (the full-time employees and part-time) at the center were not a whole lot different than the employee showing up at the sheltered workshop except a lot of the staff at the ILC had actual college degrees. We got paid a heckuva lot more, but we woke up, we got dressed and went into work and did work. I still sometimes feel it was high end work activities.

I wish these workers well. I'm sure that Walmart is not hurting are losing money employing these greeters. I'm sure that some skilled bean counter can even write off most of their salaries is one kind of expense or another. I don't know if these folks, who have these jobs, are being taken advantage of our field are being taken advantage and do they care if they do. Seriously, capitalism screws everyone one way or the other at one time or another… You're the worker, get in line, keep your head down I get screwed like everyone else…

Thursday, February 28, 2019

Writers Guild and Voices In The Night

Biological mom and dad

Today was what we used to call writers Guild, two writers in whatever I am which meet every couple months talk about be used to think how we're all progressing on our writing careers. Of course only one member of the group was actually getting paid to write on a daily basis. I cannot say the writers Guild has devolved into a social gathering of friends who love to be together and this is the rationale that allows us to do such. We do talk about What we're doing in the area of art or literature. Jerry is always doing something exotic and usually has a book he's just finished or one he is contemplating starting. Lori is just always in the middle of something literarily exotic. She's pretty focused on the play she is just written and I guess produced in work-shopped . If I'm lucky I'm either reporting on my newfound family and how I've coping or how I've found what art style I seem to a fallen into by happenstance. I trust these people probably is much such as my family (real or adopted) that's pretty cool.

Like today it seemed I was all about downplaying any any involvement with the new family. This is good for me to hear myself talk about this stuff with other people because then I realize where I'm at with the situation. I don't necessarily know where I'm at and tell I can verbally bounced off my friends of the writing Guild. Today I learned him relatively indifferent As to my natural family, my bloods. I'm even beginning to find myself distancing myself from specific members. I don't know if they embarrass me or I'm embarrassed being related to them. I do not necessarily like myself feeling this way but certainly seems to be a trend. In fact at one point I was really thinking about one of the “found” brothers who lives in Sacramento who is expressed verbally that he wants nothing to do with this familial organization which has found itself. I was thinking maybe this guy is right this guy hasn't together enough to say leave me alone, my adopted family which, by the way, is MY real family.

I did share one other thing with my “literary” family, today at lunch, and that's the tendency I have to experience what I have to characterize as auditory hallucinations. I was kind surprised because I really haven't shared this with anyone else primarily because I haven't thought of it as a problem is much is just an interesting anomaly that I experience periodically. I noticed a number of months ago or maybe years ago that sometimes as I'm in that twilight dream state I will sometimes hear things for instance often now here three knocks as if on a door knock knock knock. Like that scene from Matrix When the guys in front of his computer and the computer reads “knock knock knock” and suddenly hears that sound. The first time I heard the sound I actually thought some is that the door. I talked myself out of checking it out but I kind of thought there was somebody out there knocking on the door. A couple of nights ago I was in the dream state had barely gotten asleep when I heard “what you looking at Mark!”. I was totally startled out as a sleep. I am almost sure the voice that I heard was that of my mother's. I have to admit I was kind of spooked and then I just started churning about what if I was schizophrenic or psychotic and having auditory hallucinations? What if there really was somebody in there, another personality, trying to come out are finally coming out. But that person/thing wanted to control me. It didn't take long for me to start possibly freaking out but eventually exhaustion one out and I tumbled back into a fairly decent sleep. But I share this with the group and they were very supportive which I appreciated a great deal. They didn't try to talk me out of my ideations of mental illness but the same time did reinforce me with the idea that they had experienced similar situations and they thought it was relatively normal. Like a drowning man thrown a life preserver I clung on to their thoughts and statements and got back to my life. We agreed to meet again in the next month or so as soon as Jerry gets back from spring training, and Lori hones her play and I make a few more bookmarks and hope for hallucinatory free nights…

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

We Are All In This Together

I'm not really sure how to approach this entry, in fact I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the whole idea of what is happening here at this complex and senior centers everywhere. Remember a number of years ago after I first moved into this joint, Plymouth view apartments, a senior housing project offered through Utah Non-Profit Agency. Utah Non-Profit space is a private nonprofit agency which I'm on the board of directors and have been for decades. I was really lucky to have this place and to have the wheelchair accessible you open when I needed it. But I groused after I'd been here a couple weeks about the fact that I cannot get into the weight room to use any of the equipment because the equipment was for people who are able-bodied. I had this initial complaint when I still lived in Murray and was trying to really start using them are senior center but again they have a lot of great equipment but none that I could use in a wheelchair. I stopped going to the Murray Center and then I had to move over here to Taylorsville.

Yesterday I was having coffee with my good friend Lori B and I was carrying on again about the unfairness of the situation. I don't know if Lori said something or something I said pushed the image and the focus a little bit more. I keep thinking/believing that the senior housing projects are for folks who are just beyond the age of 62 and that's it. Sure, I know the yet to be able take care yourself but if one cannot and has the means are systems in place for healthcare for help and assistance for getting up, toileting and bathing and why not. I realized that not only management but other residents here/my neighboll have to livers see that people with mobility impairments are the exception to the rule for living here when in fact it's just the opposite if you think about it. Everyone, as they age, will become infirmed and disabled. They will have to have supports the one sort or another. And this could be a whole bunch of people aging into infirmity in the next couple years whose only option is going to be long-term care and it should not have to be that that is the only choice. I mean really, I don't know why this accessible apartment was open when I needed it but certainly thankful that the apartment was open. I've been thinking about what I'm going to do when I have to move to some other living situation for however long it's going to take to fix the bathroom/shower in my unit now. I was really concerned about five to go to another apartment here at Plymouth View how would I do that? I think I could do it if I just had a shower bench I could put in the tub and slide over like I used to. I don't know if I will have this option. Again, the point being I think there are only two accessible (wheelchair) units in this facility. Every one of them should be accessible to wheelchair or otherwise.

I'm fortunate because I have a hand bike that I use or an arm bike which allows me to work out daily. I also have a rickshaw out on the patio that I can use and better weather and if our smart I would move The rickshaw in to either my room or talk the management to take out one of the standing machines in the exercise room and have the rickshaw available to not only me but anyone else who wanted to set and work out both for arm strength as well as respiratory. I don't think that's going happen? Support the idea that the option should be available. Since I'm on the board of directors this will be my campaign for the next year so. But at least here at Utah nonprofit we can make a better option for people with disabilities significant to the point that they cannot use standard exercise equipment. After all were all in this aging thing together we should have the right to go through this aging thing together…