Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Christmas Miracle Found!

Of course the dentists office was not going to let me out of their office without setting up my next appointment. I really wasn't quite sure how much the cost of today's visit was going to be (actually silly me, I thought that the tie with a dental hygienist was free. I thought it was a service of the dentist is a way to do exploratory on the mouth in search of continued work. I actually also thought it was a service offered through the insurance that I carry a preventive medical approach to more evasive dental involvement). The receptionist gave me the option of coming back for the for the fillings of either 8 AM this morning are later this week. I chose this morning at 8 AM. Wednesday morning I usually spend the hour of 7 AM to 8 AM with my home health professional but she's on vacation this week and the person I have covering could not work with me today until later in the afternoon so everything worked out just fine

Of course this was a day that snow was forecast. And although the storm forecast is a light storm in the fast-moving storm the storm will be moving fastly through this area just as I am coming to the dentist office. That's okay I live across the street. Dress in layers and I'll be just fine. I actually started getting ready for my trip to the dentist office last night getting to bed by 10 o'clock and setting my clock on my cell phone 6 AM. It was a weird evening I don't know why – – possibly the excitement of an early morning trip to the dentists or more specifically a bed that won't shut up. Seriously there something wrong with my hydraulic system on my bed which on specific nights, none of which I can predict, the bed plays percussion but seems like all night long. I need to make time to send a copy of the recording I made of this symphony to the beds manufacturer to see if they have an idea of what might be wrong. I kind of think it's either the way I sleep on the bed and somehow I've worn the hydraulic system out or maybe I'm too heavy for the little bed. I refuse to believe this, I mean I know I need to lose weight by don't need to have my stupid head chattering at me all night long chastising me into losing pounds/kilograms.

Needless to say I made good time getting dressed and goofing around till it was time to cross the street. The snow was just beginning the fall as I cross the street and entered the doctor's office. I love going to professional offices early in the morning. You get to see a piece of their humanity that somehow gets worn away as the workday progresses. They always act like they're really glad to see me (well I suppose so in that I seem to be stacking everyone's 401K. I like all the people. I was a bit surprised they were like two people already in the dental chairs maybe three either numbing up or already under the drill. I was pleasantly greeted and directed back to the one office that I can scoot into behind the regular dental chair and have a enough room to tell back in my power chair for Dr. Anderson to work on me easily. They offered me nitrous oxide and I took it. I knew it had to pay a few shekels more but I figured it was the holidays and I was worth it.

Once they figured I was numbed up, good and dead, we started the process. Was kind of painful even with they Novocain. The gums are still a little sensitive as the doctor probed and searched. Then finally the Christmas miracle (not a big one by any means but anything else) as the doctor explored he found only one cavity for two existed yesterday are so said the hygienist. Only about 15 minutes from search to filling and I was coming down out of a fairly decent nitrous high. I was excited about only having half of the proposed build a deal with and tell I found out that is being charged 100 and some bucks for time spent with the hygienist yesterday!

When I left the snow was falling considerably heavier than when I arrived. I felt the burden of more debt. But that's life and Aand life is good. One miracle is better than nothing. I was wondering where I'd find my Christmas miracle this year and it was kind of challenging but I found it just the same… Merry Christmas, God bless us everyone.

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Fa la la, la la la la la la

I used to never forget things. I know I probably have yapped about this in the past but I've been ruminating all day about making an appointment. Remember couple weeks ago I dropped that filling out of my tooth? Well we did the emergency patch 20 or 30 minutes of the chair space and a quick 85 bucks not turn back out onto the street almost with no novocaine. At the conclusion of my emergency dental trip made an appointment for two weeks for my cleaning and checkup. Last week I was busily enjoying my morning and all of a sudden I got a phone call asking if I was going to make the appointment. I was late! I couldn't believe I spaced something as important as a dental trip.  Hemmed and hummed My way out of the appointment indicating I would be more the happy to show up today. Sometime yesterday I got the phone call from the machine reminded me of the appointment and then I noticed on my email there is also a notification there a set appointment. My appointment was set for 2 o'clock.

There was no Assist, Inc. meeting today given me the day off how splendid. I worked on Christmas cards/gift cards for the granddaughters one to be sure those got out today. But some groceries away put coffee purchased yesterday into my regular daily coffee container. Around 11 o'clock I was getting ready to work out when all of a sudden I flashed on today's the day of my dental appointment! I immediately called and confirmed but I almost missed it I could not believe how irresponsible I am becoming. 

The best thing about having my dock right across the street is that I can leave five minutes before my appointment and not be late. They always seem to be glad to see me I feel like part of the family. The day was fairly busy I like watching these guys work. Everyone seems to know what they're doing. Well there is a finagling I had to go on because I could not get to the back area where the dental hygienist lives. So we ended up making space in my regular area and Tammy, (why are all dental hygienists named something like Tammy)?I like Tammy I am not really sure how she fits in with the regular staff. She seems friendly with everybody but not in the same way you would be friendly with some people that you really worked with. She seems a bit apart from everyone else that's not a bad thing it's just what I sense. But she is the hygienist she does a thorough job and she went right to work on my mouth. She did the cleaning she did the digging she did the pricking here and there founts of sensitive spots. I don't know what I was thinking. I really thought there will turn me loose saying you look good! No , she was grooming me for Alan the big guy. So, the deficits down looks in my mouth starts finding issues. Two cavities at 107 bucks each if he doesn't find anything “funny” once he gets in there. There is also small charge for fluoride procedure which is done to the my mouth… At half-price – – must be the spirit of the season. I tried to break up the work on the mouth for one cavity tomorrow and another cavity after that but they were right why put my mouth through the trauma of novocaine twice if they can do it all at once (the cavities are right next to each other so they can do it with one shot) I'm paying for nitrous oxide so if nothing else I can enjoy a little time under legal anesthesia in the form of drugs.

I should feel thankful that we found the cavities while they were small and that very little intervention will be needed to remedy the problem and best of all the cavities never went nova and that's a gift Merry Christmas mouth..Fa la la, la la  la la la ls

Monday, December 10, 2018

Call Me Irresponsible


Sometime yesterday I remember seeing out of the corner of my eye my Samsung 10.1 Tab lying on floor. I didn't pay much attention to the device figured out pick it up at a later point in the weekend. This morning I was going to work on my electronic journal no one to use my 10.1 for the project. I engaged when a my sticks with the high friction end and drug the tablet off the floor onto my lap. That's when I noticed the horrible spiderlike blemish radiating from the left hand corner of my tablet. I would not say the screen the shattered but it was certainly compromised probably by me running over the tablet at some point during the weekend. I don't remember this if I did or did not register.

On first evaluation I thought the machine was ruined (which it probably is but I refuse to acknowledge its total demise). However I messed around with the tablet and found three force of the page would load up and many of the items I could do with three quarters of the page. The speaker was still good as I assume the camera is. If nothing else I can use the 10.1 shattered screen tablet as is radio station receiver. I know that's a little overkill is the best way that I can deal with my traumatized equipment. I'm still quite perplexed that I have taken this in such good stride. It's not that I'm going to drop everything and head on down to Best Buy And plop down a couple hundred bucks for another 10.1. Sadly, I have to learn to live with my irresponsibility and destructive nature. But just for the fun of it I will check on KS to see if they have any tablets in their classifieds. Just out of curiosity. If nothing else I don't have to purchase one today off this website but when I feel I need to I will know where the 10.1s are.. I've been playing with the the broken tablet all afternoon off and on finding out how much I can use it (which is quite a bit actually it might be hard to justify getting another one right off). I can get by but that is what I always say. I was a little curious and amused when my son, Mark Anthony responded to a posting I put up on Facebook with a picture of the damaged goods. He texted back that it was a real “bummer” but if I wanted to saddle up and head back to Costco he's up for it anytime. So I guess I must've picked up this tablet at Cosco and Mark went with the last time.

Again out of curiosity when I got some time to myself after Honey left this afternoon I did go on to and check their classifieds they had to 10.1 Samsung tablets one $130 and another tablet for $200. Both indicate that they are brand-new never out-of-the-box. That they had received the machines at office parties as a reward of one sort or another but never got around to opening the box and using them. I don't know how old the machines are with the are brand-new. I don't think I will act on these machines right now but it is comforting to know that I'm sure they'll be something available the next time I get the urge for a new machine to replace the last one I irresponsibly rolled over are dropped.

Sunday, December 09, 2018

It's Okay To Go Slow

I was visiting with my buddy, Henscheid and he was talking about how long it took him to get dressed and I was talking about how long it took me to get dressed. I know this does not sound like very stimulating conversation but to me as someone who lives alone and has to dress himself at least four times a week this was riveting information.

Henscheid is a couple years younger than I am. I've written about them before in this blog about how we met at camp Easter seal – – a special camp for kids with disabilities back in the 60s on Cordle Lane Lake in Idaho. Then for a short while one semester we are in the same dormitory at University. Henry has cerebral palsy fairly severe but he lucked out in that he has normal speech. He's got some significant mobility issues. He is always walked with a cane ever since I've known him, even when he was young late teens he walked with a cane. He walked bent and hunched over like an old man but he got around. Henry used assistive technology for a long as I've known him. At University we had grand times cruising around the campus and Southeast boy see in his golf cart. I've always looked up to Henry, who, by the way says he's always looked up to me it's a hard call. But Henry was actually a fairly big guy on campus been quite a leader in student government graduating and ask again a Masters degree and then work in San Francisco with United cerebral palsy are some agency like that. If I had a role model of a person with a disability I think it would be Henry Henscheid.

I always took it for granted that Henry dressed himself. I never had any reason not to believe this. I never really thought about how long it must take Henry to dress. I guess the reason never thought about Henry dressing himself Is because I never really thought about me dressing myself. It seems like after about a year following my accident I was dressing myself totally. I think I was even tie my shoes. It's hard to think back about that period of time and when I really first really began dressing myself but I know early on I was. So, except for a few months following my initial trauma I've always been basically independent.

Following the first stenosis operation where I lost a lot of mobility on my left side I was not able to dress myself. It learned to dress myself in the last two and half years which is kind of weird when I think about it. I'm so glad I've got that skill set back. However, I was in kind of concerned at the length of time it takes me to dress. Again, this is no big deal at this point in my life since I really don't have anyone waiting on me. I can take my time I have certainly trained totrained to take what time I need to complete the task and doing and not be frustrated. But for some reason I did not understand that was okay. I thought I should be concerned about how long it takes but speaking with Henry the other day, the boy once again shed light on my life by exhibiting his. And we shared with me it takes him forever to get dressed but he also indicated that's okay he has the time now. He's basically retired does a little bit of work like me and takes care of his wife to a certain degree is been going through some medical challenges. Like me, Henry's put on some weight as he's gotten older but it may be slower but is still efficient and gets the job done. Henry will always be my hero.Thanks Henry for let me know it's okay to be slow.

Saturday, December 08, 2018

Another Senior Moment

One of the things I hate about paralysis is just that paralysis. Not being able to move parts of your body and even more subtle is your body not being able to do unconscious things to itself that used to do. I know this doesn't much sense, but I mean is been able hold your feet flat on the surface or naturally keep your legs together and not splayed. If I don't manually push my legs together they tend to just sort of flop apart. I never really paid much attention to this attribute especially when I used to manually push my chair. I was able to use this phenomenon of the “spread legs” to my benefit by carrying my backpack between my legs. It was really when I began to use power chairs that my legs are really beginning to splay. Not only was my splayed legs unsightly but it can be quite painful on my ankles and I have a bunion on my foot that when my leg displays over it puts pressure on the bunion and hurts like the dickens.

As you read yesterday, this was the day of the Assist, Inc. Christmas/holiday function. All day I waited for the time to come to catch the bus downtown. As I suited up to make the trip I was quite dismayed when all the sudden the strap I used to bind my legs together so they will not splay apart suddenly stopped working. I was getting ready to go and I slipped my belt/strap under my legs and then I covered my legs with the flannel blanket that I've been using all fall to bind my legs. I put the blanket over my legs and tuck it in as well as I can and then I applied the strap underneath my legs then up around them as I bring it over my legs I try to incorporate as much of the flannel blanket that I can for two reasons. One to make sure the legs are covered and not exposed to the cold are two viewing and secondly to make sure the blanket stays in place as I zoom along to my destination. The strap that I'm using is a nice piece of technologythat I picked up a couple years ago when my power chair came back from overhaul. I don't know if I was ever charged for this piece of technology or if they just threw it in because I such a great customer. About 6 inches wide and about 72 inches long I think. It's long enough to wrap around my legs cinched tight and then have the leftover length fall between my legs. What's really great is that there is a “thumb hole” that quads like myself can use the pull the strap tight and apply to the other side of the strap securing the legs. To my dismay no matter how hard I pressed on the surface the Velcro would not adhere to the other side of the strap long enough to really be of use. I could not believe how this was happening. It worked just fine the day before. I looked at the Velcro side and there was a lot of junk on it, you know hair, strings, but even look like fur and I don't even have any beasts. I thought maybe if I cleaned out some of the density gunk it would cling again. I did a fairly decent job but it didn't do any good. It was only when I had suffered through not only the trip to the open house but the trip home that I noticed on the train that I was actually trying to use the wrong side of the strap that didn't have the material that the Velcro needed to adhere to exposed. Unbelievable! I turned over the strap to the black side applied the Velcro and sure enough it held tight. I'm not telling anyone this but this was definitely a another senior moment! I knew better but I struggled anyway.

I guess the story has a happy ending I didn't have to get another strap, and the strap that I do have is just fine I just have to remember which end is up… No small feat!

Friday, December 07, 2018

Open House

It's going to be cold out there today and I just assume not have to go out but some things you just have to do what you want to or not. It's the holidays which means a lot of the agencies and programs that idea with have open houses which used to go by the name of “Christmas party” but that no longer is the case. All festivities of the season now go by more fastidious but generous title. A traditional safe title is “Open house”. Who knows what this really means? But today Open House means the traditional Assist, Incorporated Christmas party.

Assist Inc. continues to be in transition actually Jason the new director is no longer knew he's been there for almost 2 years. It seems less to me but told me the other day when I was at the weekly meeting. Okay. I've been going to these holiday functions often on for the past 30 some years. The first Friday in December starts at four in the afternoon. I assume this time was first established (and still is the best time) to grab not only construction professionals and other kind of professionals that work with housing i.e. plumbers, roofers, carpenters But also other professionals like housing coordinators, directors of other not private nonprofit organizations and support staffs in various city, county, state and other officials the agency works with throughout the year. When I was working and what of the people just mentioned this is a great time not only could I leave my office early on a Friday afternoon in the name of work (attending this conference in is definitely work-related) but enjoy spending the time visiting with Other folks I work with throughout the year. The best part was the old director of this organization, Roger, was ago Catholic boy so there was all kinds of booze at the open house. Plus, other folks would bring by bottles of wine and even hard liquor from time to time. It was great, you can actually catch a buzz on worktime. Now, I attend the function as a member of the advisory board to this great organization. Granted, I would still be welcome from my previous experience and history with this organization but now I have a reason, a real reason, to come drink wine eat cheese and play like I know it's going on. I'll be able to trash the president and all his organizations that are counterproductive to the overall goal of this organization. I will be able to do all this in the space of an hour and still catch the 5 o'clock train home feeling like I've gotten something accomplished on this cold December afternoon

Now however 4 PM is like way late in the afternoon for an old guy no longer working and one who does not drive is on vehicle. This means staying somewhat focused all day and then leaving in the middle of the afternoon to ride the train downtown. The giving up of an afternoon is actually actually not so bad. I will dress warm in layers and easily get to the train and then to library and Assist Inc. is right across the street from the library. Socialize, hobnob and be seen and that's it. Easy duty, lite duty. I will most likely miss my afternoon radio show but that's okay I will catch it on podcast later if I really want to. I got a go dress in layers now. If I'm lucky I can get downtown in an hour before the open house begins, and spend some spend time at the library looking erudite.

Thursday, December 06, 2018

Man's Inhumanity To Man

I was kind of funny today at coffee. We are just talking around and I mentioned that I was beginning to fill out my Christmas cards for the family. I very stonefaced indicated that I would fill out the cards then go to the credit union to see if I can get a loan for the stamps. I really didn't think it was that funny but the person next to me, Pat, nearly fell out of her chair laughing so hard. It's funny though it's kind of true. Last I'd thought about stamps they were $.48 apiece. I buy three or four flats at a time so I'd never really break it down since they never post the price of stamps anymore they just sell those “Forever” stamps. I used to think that was a great deal stamps one could use anytime after the purchase. The sucker punch of course is that you use the stamps and when they're gone you got a purchase more stamps but the prices gone up with the never had to print any more stamps because “forever” is forever regardless of the price. They got us.

In the same vein sometimes I get so angry at systems that I am almost beside myself. When I first started using the train, seriously I was also beginning to use a power chair seriously. First power chair ever really used – – I can't even remember the name of it or its number – – had a onboard charger. It seemed liked all the chairs at onboard Chargers which only made sense. My first chair was used and the batteries weren't super wonderful but they worked fairly well however there were a couple of times that I had not charge them correctly during the night or whatever and I was a little worried that I did not have enough power to get to the day. I did of dragging one of my Chargers to work and I would sit at my phones and computer and plugged my chair in and have the chair charge as I was working. Then I was ready to go to a meeting or into the city for lunch are just to make sure I was able to have the power to get home. There are a couple times when I was on the station platform coming home that us a bit worried and I used one of the open sockets on the platform to plug my chair into and get enough power to make sure I can get home. I figured this was a service of the transit authority – – sure I knew that they had various needs for power on the platform but the power was there for other folks I myself might need it. Then entered the cell phone. I was somewhat surprised how quickly people realize those open sockets were available and soon everywhere I go people were plugged in to these open electrical outlets getting a fast charge to their cell phone are charging a cell phone enough to finish a call are to make one. Seriously, how bad can that be?

Maybe it's just me but I think it's fairly petty that the transit authority one night or whenever made a decision they are not going to let people charge their cell phones any longer and I noticed there were covers screwed into electric outlets on the tracks platforms. Not only fashionable middle-class folks could no longer charge what they needed to all waiting for a train but even the down and out who are using cheap cell phones but their cell phones just the same and they need power too and maybe jacking up at a TraX platform was the only way to achieve the boost to make the call to stay connected. I don't think it really hurts the authority to lose what little bit of power everyone who is using their platform plugs. Utah transit Authority is just making a pointThe Authority is not going to be Mr. nice guy and help somebody out by giving up a few cents of power. It would be great if the Utah transit Authority would get “Scrooged” and become a better authority.

Wednesday, December 05, 2018

On Waking and Staying Awake

I've always been blessed with being able to to wake from sleep early. In fact I've been able to set an imaginary alarm clock in my mind that would allow me to target the actual time I want to wake up and more often than not I would be within five or 10 minutes of the time that I wanted. However as I age them again to find out my inner alarm clock is just not what it used to be. Or maybe it is but I've become reliant on technology. I'm kind of forced to sleep with my cell phone just in case I have an emergency, like falling out of my bed. I hope, when that happens I will be able to call 911. Actually, the last time that kind of emergency did happen I ended up contacting support through my tablet using messenger but instead of a saving device I'm begin to use my cell phone as my alarm clock.

It's not that I have so many places to go and things to do in my retirement that I need an alarm clock as much wanting to be up and ready for my shower and bathroom routine when my staff gets here three times a week. So three times a week when I could sleep in I've set my cell phone to wake me at 6 AM. What's really cool about my technology is that I no longer have to awaken to a brash, shrill of the standard clock radio alarm. I've actually programmed a gentle waking sound which begins inaudible and progresses to a sound loud enough to wake the sleeper… Me. Fortunately because of the history I have had waking I rarely need the alarm clock. I wake with more than enough time to reach over and turn off the cell phone alarm clock..

So now on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays the days that I have my staff, 6:30 AM I'm lucky if I can sleep past 5 AM. Somewhere around 5 AM on these days I wake. The trick now, when I wake this way, is to stay awake. I tend to fall back into what I call micro sleep. Little snatches of sleep like 3 to 5 minutes in length that I used to eat up the hour before 6 AM when I like to get up on staff days. It's kind of funny is that my inner self sort of makes me feel like “okay buddy I woke you up up with more than enough time, now it's up to you to get your lazy butt out of bed to get your morning ADLs out-of-the-way. On those nights that I stay up way too late reading or Watching the tube I feel sleeps tendrils pulling me back to the mattress or the covers. By 6 AM my body has been totally compromised by the heat of several blankets and comforters and by great white jacket that I pull over my head to sleep. It's warm, comfortable and safe. It feels like I am going against natural law to leave this cocoon of comfort but only once or twice has my staff actually woken me up. I don't want that to happen again.

It's one of those adult things, I guess. This waking and staying awake is kind of a whole new game for me to play. Maybe it's an aging thing. Maybe it's what seniors do. Those who can roll over and go back to sleep until they do that one day too often the never wake up. Not me, I want to be here for a long time so I wake every morning and then try to stay awake as best that I can.

Tuesday, December 04, 2018

Hot Lunch!

Sometimes I wonder if it's just me or is everyone about my age fixated on events and flavors of years gone by. I for example just cannot shake my desires for egg foo young made in Boise Idaho before 1966 our hamburgers from 1957 served in the back of my big sister's car from a little place called To Boys In and Out. I just cannot find a taste like food from those eras of my life.

It's weird that today kids rarely gets served hot lunches made at their school cafeterias. I get it, it's a money thing but still, how sad the best that they can look forward to as far as hot lunch goes is a premade meal manufactured at some gigantic production plant then trucked over for lunch. It's not like I enjoyed hot lunch for my grade school as much as some folks but I could smell the food cooking specially the bread roasting every day before lunch. I of course, most days, took in my cold lunch . I appreciated the sandwiches – – peanut butter and honey, tunafish, lunchmeat – – usually some kind of a sweet or potato chips real potato chips. We bought our bread usually from the day-old bread store by the bakery. Occasionally we would get bags of broken potato chips, product which could not be sold at the regular market. I never thought about who else might use them until one day I was waiting in the car for mom to do the shopping and the bread store when a pig farmer backed his truck into the loading area and I saw them load barrels of chips into his truck to be fed to his pigs. Every once in a while I would “lose” my lunch and had to buy a lunch ticket ($.25). And I would get the best food ever: some kind of meat product encrusted in breadcrumbs, mashed potatoes served with an ice cream scoop covered with yellow gravy and green vegetables of some kind and usually a role. This was divine they even let me go back for seconds.

There were four junior highs actually maybe five when I went to junior high school. The legacy junior high schools were named after the points of the compass. I went to East because I lived in the Southeast end of the valley. This was the big time. We were served lunch in the cafeteria à la carte we got to choose what we're going to eat that day. Again, I'm making it sound like I ate hot lunch or use this amenity of education but again I drug my lunch to school. But, since it was à la carte they had many things to choose from and if I had a quarter here are $.50 there are maybe a whole dollar then I could buy a lunch “enhancer”. The cooks didn't admiral job on regular food at the East cafeteria but one thing they did wonderfully was make cinnamon rolls once a week. These cinnamon rolls were divine, huge pastries, cinnamon and raisins covered with some sort of caramel syrup which the cooks somehow cooked a crust. When you got your cinnamon roll on a cold day you could pull it apart and steam would rise and the aroma would sometimes knock you off by your feet (I was still walking around then just before my accident). I think the roles cost $.50 or something like that. I could always smell them as they cooked in my third period Class.

Just another sensory sensation from my past that I devoutly wish I could bring forward in time and now. Those flavors are no longer exist except in my memories. The people who made those flavors no longer exist to shame today's kids will never know the delight of real school lunches.A

Monday, December 03, 2018

Monday Booring Monday


Cold weather check, positive Christmas cards waiting to be filled out check, first open house of the season, Friday check and I just got my reminder that I promised, once again, to be the part of Santa Claus at the Independent living centers open house Friday, December 20. Tis the season to be jolly. I really am pretty lucky going into this Christmas season. I'm pretty much wound free, enjoy a warm fairly clean living space that's affordable and enjoyable, have friends and family who care about me and are willing to assist me whenever I need help. I have a blog which I've worked on for I don't know how many years well over 1000 pages and counting. This a matter that only a few people purportedly follow the document the point is I've been focused enough to write this document every single day that I can. Some days, like today, the document is pretty boring but I feel I need to write that's great for once I can really say a writer writes and know what it means.

Early this morning like it 3:30 AM I really did have a piece of enlightenment about something to write about. Something really pretty good but I was too lazy and didn't wake enough to write my thoughts down – – Jerry Seinfeld did an episode on this very subject – – all I would've had to do was flip on my cell phone and dictate just a couple words which I know would remind me of what I was thinking about would make a good journal entry. I keep getting this lesson over and over the really good idea, I don't write it down many times thinking I will remember and of course I don't and then I suffer every time I think I could've written something decent down and cannot. I can certainly use a host of excuses about why it can't do this – – but I can if I really want to and I really need to really want to.

I did get the kids letters out today so there is one accomplishment. I could not believe the hassle. Today my printer decides to run out of ink. I suspicion that was getting low but up until this morning the printer had been printing just fine. I want to call Mark Anthony immediately and have him pick up some ink and then install when he can. I could probably install the ink cartridge but they are so expensive I don't want to take the risk. I didn't call Mark Anthony instead I went to the Internet and ordered. I don't know if I made a mistake, I hope not. I still have him install the cartridge if I can find someone from around here to take the risk on. So I spent the morning on one of the apartment computers up in the computer lab. It seemed like every piece of Internet stuff that I use I have to go through and use passwords to get back on if I use an unfamiliar computer. I was eventually able to get on the platforms I needed. The reason I did this was because I cannot reach any of the portals the plug-in my jump drive which then I could take up and print without an issue. I had to send the documents up on my Google accounts challenging but doable.

There sure are got my 500 words down – – sorry you had to suffer through it but thanks just the same.

Sunday, December 02, 2018

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

All day today the snow seem to be falling. Not a lot of snow as far as accumulation goes all, enough to make things a little spooky if you're old and walking around and probably enough to make driving a little spooky but really not piled high which is fine by me. This coming week I only have about two meetings I need to be out on the service for in both destinations are really well-maintained as far as snow removal goes.

However there is snow on the ground that means the outside temperatures are going to plummet I may just have to give up my goal of wearing shorts through the winter and dig out my long pants at least when I have to be out on the system. I have my foul weather gear in place, I found my gloves in when my red jackets my stocking caps and scarves so I'm set. Like I said, I really don't want to have to wear socks in such but we'll see. And wise this all-important you may ask? Why am I seeming to focus on this so much? Well the answer is because to begin the look a lot like Christmas, trite and cliché as that might sound it's true. I can feel myself riding around the spiral of the drain circling down to the Christmas season. I was just talking to a friend I have in Amsterdam and she said the day was the first day of Advent. I guess Advent is a big deal in Europe and probably here for those religious groups. I never really got into it was the big Mormon thing that I can remember. Anyway, people are now seriously beginning to celebrate the season.

Today listing to NPR they did a short story on how people suffering in the burned out areas of California and folks suffering the aftermath of the floods and other parts of this country might be celebrating Christmas with very little space or area to celebrated in. This got me thinking why not? I've not really done anything for Christmas the past two Christmases I've been out on my own. Partially not really feeling in the mood and just trying to transition and partially just not thinking about the season to awfully much. But the NPR piece gave some good suggestions as far as celebrating/decorating one's living space even if the quarters are kind of cramped. I didn't think I had a place for a tree, and I really don't but that doesn't mean I can't decorate my door or other areas of my living space. I kind I have a bookcase which could be laced with globes/bulbs/lights and whatever and make a festive presence for me to enjoy through this holiday season. I do not want to go overboard but I do want to celebrate the season. I've already missed the Messiah concert. One of these days/years I'm going to make a presence at such an event. I have my music and my well to sing and to make a joyful noise of the season.

Saturday, December 01, 2018

Imitating Oysters...Really

As you long-term readers know I am infatuated with egg foo young made in another point in time. Seriously, if I could time travel I would go back to the late 50s early 60s in order up egg foo young from the House Of Louie in Boise Idaho. Not unlike the owner of the diner in the even kings November 22nd 1963,the diner owner goes back in time and buys hamburger at 1963 prices to sell back in the present day.

So you know I like to cook. Every so often I tried to build an egg foo young like I used to enjoy but I've never been able to quite get it right. I also like to cook or try to cook other Asian dishes. I think I'm a little intimidated at part of the process are utilizing Asian ingredients which probably makes all the difference in the world. I've have a bottle of oyster sauce which I think I've had for at least 10 years and I've never cracked the seal. I'm just worried that if I try to use this oyster sauce I'll mess up the whole dish and have to throw the whole thing out. I'm kind of toying with the idea of trying to cook some pepper beef chow mein. Of course everything with an Asian dish, in my estimation, is the sauce or gravy. I've done gravy before and it's okay just not the same. My gravy I make from scratch leaves a bit to be desired. I thought about actually just getting the Canon of beef gravy or chicken if that's the protein I'm using and adding ingredients I want onions, bell peppers, mushrooms, carrots and even peas if I can find a box of frozen peas somewhere. I think this all make fine gravy but should I opened the bottle of oyster sauce and add a few drops might make all the difference. Mind you I think it's hilarious that what I'm using is actually imitation oyster sauce. I'm not sure what that really means but I assume no oysters were harmed for the production of this bottle of flavoring. So the bottle is full of imitation product so no one or how long I've had the product in the sealed form I should be okay to use it. To that end I'm going to try to use one of my steaks I've gotten from the food bank and mix all the ingredients together to make by pepper steak rendering and then all I need is the noodles.

One of the items I got in the divorce was a cardboard box full of Ramen noodles which is at least 15 years old. We bought a case of Ramen when Brooks was an adolescent and lived with us. He went through a period like most adolescents his age of living off Ramen noodles. You'll need a few of the noodles the rest went into this box which resided in our food closet which somehow followed me over to where I'm living now. I haven't used too much of the noodles but I did yesterday and I was pleasantly surprised that there were still edible. So I've been thinking if I make the green pepper or broccoli sauce and have it available for when I make my noodles might be able just add the whole thing together and make a great little dish. I don't know how realistic it is not might be a fun thing to do on a Sunday afternoon when snow is threatened in the clouds hang low and there's no way for me to go back to 1963 for and for young from the House of Louie.

Friday, November 30, 2018

Look Away… I'm hideous

Even though I don't believe it when you are person in a wheelchair you can just about get away with everything or anything you want if you do it just right. Not that I do that by any means, one also have to have major self-esteem the pull something like that off but I do okay.

Storms are coming to the Valley so they say. Begin to realize “they” say a lot as far as weather goes and rarely does the weather they say come about that's okay perhaps today was just the warm before the storm. Anyway, went all the way to the end of Redwood Road almost. I had to go to Create to get a replacement module for my power chair. Actually it's a knob which modulates the speed of whatever power level the chair might be in. This is the third knob I have had on this chair. I don't know what I did a couple weeks ago but all the sudden I noticed I did not have the knob and could not find tune the speed that I wanted. I actually at one point figured out how to keep the power setting that I wanted but I had to keep the chair at that speed I couldn't easily increase or decrease the speed I needed. I got by for a while but realized that I had to replace the knob for sure this morning in the shower when I noticed that my foot was kind of bloody. No, not super bloody but I remember last night running into the bookcase. I had my chair setting at power level for and all the way up within that level. So, even if I made a mistake the chair was quick to respond and by the time I knew anything was happening at rammed my foot into the bookcase. It didn't feel too bad and I didn't have any secondary symptoms such as pain are increased spasticity saw as a little surprised when my shower person revolted from my foot. There I realized I needed to fix the problem.

I was expecting pretty bad weather this morning I got up. However, by the time Dana left and I was dressed and ready for the day I could tell that the weather was not going to be too bad for a while. I figured I had time to get in to Create an back without enduring any major weather. I've dug out my foul weather/winter clothing in this year I've added to my arsenal of weapons against the cold. I have started wearing a lap blanket. I know this makes you look totally institutional and old but I don't care. I'm going with comfort. I'm also going to start collecting flannel blankets (that's what I'm using those flannel end cuts you can get at fabric shops everywhere). I was a little self-conscious at first but now I don't give a rats ass. And I think it does the job keeping me warm. And even if you end up looking like a complete dork doesn't matter because everybody thinks you're great for just doing it and they're happy as clams not having to see your pathetic disabled scrawny legs till next spring.

Thursday, November 29, 2018

Dropsy Do-

I don't know what is happening to me. I don't know if it's aging or possible further debilitation of myself just from disability or from my disability the head injury part. It would not surprise me, not the very least, a fired to be getting some form of dementia or Parkinson's disease. I've noticed in the last couple of weeks that I just seem to be knocking everything over. Like being super clumsy. I'd hate to think what I would be like if I were walking around. Sometimes, I'm backing my chair into things and sometimes turning to quickly and bumping into a wall or an appliance of some sort. Again, luckily I am not around enough people that I've bumped into them causing them pain and or injury. I've noticed the clumsiness most in the kitchen when I'm cooking especially over Thanksgiving. It's just all go to move my handle catch something all of a sudden I'm a cup of coffee over or the can of coffee beans or something on my workstation in front of my computer. I just have to accept this is happening and not get upset and realize that whatever happens I'll be able to clean it up and so far I have been able to do exactly that. This week I've spilled coffee, grapes from their bag, medications and at least one cup of coffee. And like I said these are big deals but I am astonished at how many of these events of been happening. I even brought this up at Thursday morning social group coffee and immediately other precipitating members of the coffee group started sharing their frustration at the same issue. I have to admit that was a little bit reassuring. So maybe I'm not in full-blown Parkinson's mode but I just wonder what is around the corner.

Along those lines, last night was another challenging evening. My butt was hurting a little bit last night so I decided I'd go to bed early and read as long as I could. I started my new Steven King and look forward to laying in bed reading. I read till about 11:15 p.m. and then decide to crash. I was not surprised but I woke couple hours later with a full bladder. This of course is not a big deal it was 2:15 AM not that well that's cool I'm sure I'll have no problem getting back to sleep. And things went fairly well I was encouraged and tell I was raising the bed a little to hang the bag of urine on a hook that I would drain in the morning. I sat the bed control to the side and use both hands to twist me further so I could reach the hook for the bag in doing that the pendant/bed control slid off the seat of the power chair where I had thecontrol laying. The controller was on the floor between the bed and the power chair. I was going to have to try to reach down between the bed and the chair to retrieve the control. Sadly, with my limited hand function I was not going to happen. I did at one time grasp the connecting cord and pulled which did not help, my efforts caused the pendant to slide between the wheel of the power chair and the body of the chair hooking itself and making it way difficult to retrieve. The worst part of this was that I had raised the back part of the bed in the seating position in order to cath. Normally this is a safe position but last night it was a bit precarious especially since I couldn't actuate controls. I could not reach the floor any further to try to grasp record. I was on my side also precariously close to the side of the bed. If my leg was to go off are both legs I would be stuck and have to find some sort of support to get me back in bed which would mean calling the emergency responders or wait in till five or 6 AM, brother to see if he could stop by on his way to work and save my scurvy ass. Luckily I had two or three hooks close by the bed within reach one of which I was able to snag onto and with major effort was able to snag the cord and eventually worked dependent free from between the we'll and chair. I doubt this would qualify as a miracle not yet anyway. However, I was totally thankful that I was able to mitigate the issue I'd gotten myself into. Though I did thank the Lord modified to get back to bed. Problem is that I was so awake but I'll think I really ever got back to sleep. That's okay though I am tired was the middle of the day and I'm doing okay.

I'm watching myself to make sure that I'm not debilitating and if I am I would deal with that to and tell such time I'm really living one day at a time… And that's the best I can do.

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Wash Day Blues

I should be folding clothes, I washed today. I'm finding that I'm washing twice in the week as opposed to just once a week which I've been doing for as long as I've been washing my own clothes. I was hoping that washing the clothes by Wednesday would make the load small enough that I could dry with just one cycle which costs $.75, three quarters. Well that didn't work. It's not like I change my towels every week, and probably would not be a bad idea but just the same maybe I will start. As it is now the towels that I wash today were a set that I tossed in the corner when we changed house and I was not ready to wash clothes when I was ready the towels bulked up the pile of dirty clothes so much I was afraid the get clothes get a decent washing. So they I watched the regular washcloths of which there was a goodly amount (why I don't know), two sets of towels red and white, and my regular shorts and shirts. When I finished the wash cycle and through the closing to the dryer I was hopeful that this amount what cost less to wash. When I checked at the end of the first cycle as always the closer just a little damp. In my best conspiracy theory mindset I am beginning to think/wonder if 1. The centrifuge on the washing machine is wearing out and no longer spins at that velocity it once did with nearly rendered the close dry from the last spin cycle or more nefarious did the owner of the machines tinker with the centrifuge causing it to spin less aggressively. I swear the last couple of washes I've taken out of the washing machine/front loader have felt heavier with moisture/water than that used to. As a board member of the organization which owns this property I hate to think we would support management that would contract with an individual who would knowingly condone setting the washing machines such that water extraction would be less than optimal. I want to believe that the machines are just somewhat wearing down and no longer spin with the velocity to drive out as much water as possible from the fabrics. You've heard by great before that the owner of the machines has been featured the drop of coins a specific way to ensure that as much money as possible spent with this ordeal of washing clothes once a week. For example most laundromats I have used have had a way during the dry cycle to increase the length of time desired for the close to dry. By using nickels and dimes a person could buy 10 minute increments to finish the drying cycles process. That is not the case with machines that we use. Here at Plymouth view Apartments a renter just has one option for drying a $.75 drop (three quarters) and if your clothes are still damp at the end of cycle one you have to buy and other complete cycle of $.75. I know it does not sound like much and I guess it isn't except if you're living on a fixed income everything counts. Yesterday it the super Smith's store or the Smith superstore I noticed a number of options are contraptions one could purchase to hang clothes on just this scenario to dry. If I had a way to carry one of these racks home I would great idea worst-case you can even use a hand dryer to finish drying these clothes. I might go back someday and get such a rack.

Yep you guessed it just another Wednesday, but one I'm truly thankful for…

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Senior Second's Terror

I don't know if I want to address this issue as a senior moment but it was some kind of a moment and it kind of freaked me out. I've been having some issues with my bank account and when I went to try to work it out over the phone last week it seems I had forgotten my “secret” word that would allow the bank representative to work with me over the phone. This was a security issue having nothing to do with my banking questions. Anyway, I hate passwords, I am always forgetting passwords, I don't think I am alone in this problem. What little I have heard on NPR and other kind of talk shows everybody is frustrated with forgetting passwords and being able to access their accounts. I was given the option, since I could not answer the security word, I can leave a call back request and someone from the bank would call me back and help me work the problems I've been having out or at least answer my questions. The only problem is that the bank would have up to three days to get back with me over the phone. Today was my toenail clipping day. I saddle up and head south on real good road all the way down to 90th South which is quite a ways down there. I know I will pass my bank and figure it would be worth my time stop by the branch on the way back and get my questions answered.

This is where gets kind of weird for me. It must have been a slow day when I entered the bank because one of the guys said that the desks waved me over when I came in even though there was a teller open. No problem I thought and cruised over to his desk. He is a great young man, and really went out of his way to address my questions. We finally concluded I was having to do some editing on my bank account and for some reason I was asked to verify my age. I was suddenly struck with an almost feeling of terror when it wasn't a matter of not knowing my age as much as it was not knowing the year I was living in right now! Luckily, this did not last long and I gave him my age but I wasn't really sure if it was the right age. Many times I do this trek subtracting my birthdate or birth year from the current year. Today I could not locate the current year, just briefly. I really couldn't securely say that it was 2019 are 2018! I I finally said 67, and thank goodness that was the right birthday. Am I losing it? I've been thinking a lot lately of the roaring 20s of the 19th century. And somehow I'm just amazed that in two years it will be the roaring 20s again acceptable be 2020. This threw me when he asked me the year because somehow I was thinking that the 20s would start next year. I was really relieved to find that I was one year less in age than I thought. This happens a lot to me around this time of the year. So I guess is nothing new, my confusion of age but still it kind of freaks me out. I've become a bit more hypervigilant regarding what I can remember and how well I can remember what I can remember. What little research I've done indicates that folks with significant head injury are candidates for Alzheimer's and other senior problems. That's all I would need on top of everything else but seriously, I think I would rather greet with open arms a good case of Alzheimer's/dementia when cancer. I don't even know if this makes any sense all I do know for a few seconds this morning I was really scared.

Monday, November 26, 2018

Mark Smith RIP

I'm not sure when I found Mark Smith, Mark E Smith but it was during the days I worked for the state of Utah as an information specialist in disability questions. It had to be as when I first started using the power chair and when I first ordered by first power chair it was a Pride Mobility Product. When things started going wrong with my chair I started doing online research and found a website by this guy named Mark E Smith and I was quite intrigued mainly because his name is basically my name. This Mark Smith actually had his own blog with lots of images. Essentially had his own job with lots of images what a sweet gig to rep a major power wheelchair company. That had to be in the late 1990s or the early 2000's. I spent a lot of time on the Internet just cruising around during the early 2000's.

This Mark Smith got around. I remember at one time during the Clinton era actually two times during the Clinton era I actually got Christmas cards from the White House signed by Bill Clinton. Obviously Bill didn't have the right address are the right Mark Smith. You know what? I actually thought it was for me just as when  Justin Dart, the great disability leader , visited Salt Lake and addressed a number of folks with disabilities. He mentioned a number of folks in the community of Salt Lake/Utah who are making changes for the good for people with disabilities. In that address he mentioned Mark Smith. I don't think it was me. I think he was referencing Mark E Smith not Mark L Smith. However in my own cynical way I actually thought he probably had advance people come into the community and find out who's who in in the zoo and make sure to drop those names in the address. It really had nothing to do with me I know it was about Mark E Smith.

I really wish I knew the whole story of Mr. Smith. He has a Masters degree and he really is a hotshot VP or something for mobility products quantum division. I follow this guy with envy over the last two decades. We had a couple houses one in the country with a giant front yard that he actually mowed himself with a riding lawn mower. This guy had pretty severe spastic cerebral palsy but he got around great. He had his own van but I doubt that he drove but he did get around taking in professional sports activities as well as his own companies work. He traveled coast-to-coast and even further. He must've made decent money to live the life that he did. He had a daughter but seemed to be the center of his life I was always impressed with how much they did together. He goofed around and she put up with his goofing around. He was her dad and she didn't care if he had disability are not,hell she probably didn't even know he was disabled, Mark was just always there.

I was shocked this morning when for no specific reason I googled Mark's name and found out that he died yesterday of cancer. Unbelievable. How unfair to have everything and have it all gone so quickly. Of course, that's the first thing I think of. I'm sure everybody else will note how good/great and happy and's brilliant and special this guy was. And he was all of those but most of all his name was Mark Smith and maybe that says it all.

Sunday, November 25, 2018

Christmas Time

We are exactly one month away from Christmas day. I really have this weird preoccupation with the 25th of the month regardless of the month. I tend to focus everything on how far that 25th day of the month is from Christmas. I don't know why actually a do know why. I think Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year – – I know it sounds like a song but that's why it is a song, cliché or whatever. I live in perpetual hope that Christmas is going to be wonderful.

I'm anxious to start everything Christmas. One of the first things I do is try to get my Christmas cards out. I put them away after every year and then take you forever to find them the next. I have an idea of where my Christmas cards are at I just have to dig them out probably tomorrow. I begin with my relatives pretty much my immediate family. With 10 brothers and sisters (adoptive) that's quite a bit of cards to fill out. Postage never used the matter but now at almost $.60 a card wow. Have addresses for all my brothers and sisters except one. I sent him a card anyway via his older brother who usually knows how to get a hold of him when the need arises. Now there's the whole new “other” family I need to think about – – notice I did not say “worry”. I would just like to get one or two addresses to begin with send cards to. That there's a host of friends I would love to send cards to but I have no addresses. I kind of hate contacting somebody via the net and ask about what their physical addresses, and I must be very sure to let them know what it's for so they don't think I'm totally strange. But is it strange to send cards anymore? In this stage of multimedia, is that the right term? Maybe I should use term social media perhaps is just as best to send a card by the Internet. Perhaps a virtual card is okay for acquaintances and folks that you deal with once or twice a year but even then I don't really like sending personal greetings over the Internet. I should get over that obviously that's the way things are going. I like having a naturalist for a person so I can make out a card and send it. The person gets the card opens it and hopefully is delighted to see that someone thought enough send them a card. That dumb? If it is than I am.

I love the specialized programming of the Christmas season – – not so much the Christmas specials those are kind of trite – – but the great films and the not so great films. Holiday Inn, that one with Jimmy Stewart, Scrooged, A Christmas Carol (Dickens) Home Alone (the original) and a bunch more that I cannot even remember. Even if I don't sit down and watch these videos I hear them in the background and I've seen them so much but I know exactly what's going on by what I'm hearing. It just makes you think of Christmas.

Even though I rarely drink anymore I would like a good gin and tonic, black/white Russian and maybe a blush with a good meal of roast beef and are ham.

Cookies, I would like to take an evening to bake a couple of dozen cookies. I don't care what kind possibly very old-fashioned peanut butter crisscross cookies or oatmeal cookies with lots of raisins and nuts. Possibly sugar cookies cookie cuttered in the shapes of bells, Christmas trees, sleds and drums with that shiny red, green, white icing. This may not be the right place but I would also like a bowl of nuts, nuts in their shells that you have to crack and dig out. There's also peanuts I can't find them anymore that taste like what Christmas peanuts used to taste like. There is nothing special with them and they don't think they were necessarily roasted but there is a special flavor to the Christmas peanuts that I would get in my sock every year that I could not duplicate at any of the time of the year.

We are a month away from Christmas. I should start but I will wait until the end of the week for December 1. But already I'm getting filled with the spirit…

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Snow Flakes on a Saturday

Snow fell during the night, the first snow really of the season. They said it was going to come but still looking out my window this morning and seeing the snow falling still kind of surprised me. Thank goodness it's not a whole bunch of snow not that I have anywhere to go for a couple of days thank goodness. Snow on the valley floor still means it's going to get cold real cold and there's more snow forecast later on next week. So it's the season and I might as well enjoy the snow while we haven't.

Last night or more accurately this morning was another challenging event. I don't know how it really happened at around 3 AM I noticed one of my feet sleeping off the bed. I knew this meant trouble and tried to sleep through the event knowing it was just 1 foot but like everything else 1 foot seem to creep further and further off the bed pulling my whole body with it and soon I could tell the other foot for joined in the foot creep to freedom from the mattress. I was pretty tired but I figured I better take action I lowered the foot section of the bed and the head section lowered the whole bed towards the floor as low as it would go. I was quite surprised at the result of lowering the bed. Before when this is happened to me and my bed was in the up position, as high off the floor as possible I couldn't pull my feet up on the bed. Which ended up contacting the resident aid when he was still here or my brother or my home health professional person. By lowering the bed to the lowest position even if my feet hit the floor it was just a matter of pulling rolling back on the bed. I must admit I did get my key caught in the sheets which worried me for a little bit but all in all it wasn't such a better deal. At least did not have to call the fire department authority other family members.I tried to get back to sleep thinking I could get a few more hours in before my home health person/Dana would show up for my morning ritual. Typically she never does me on Saturday but yesterday being the morning after Thanksgiving and after her partying a good part of the night she was pretty zonked so a let her have Friday morning to recover. I actually enjoyed having the extra day except for my bowel was getting kind of full and I sort of feared doing a bed poop or transfer poop. Either way I did not yet much if any further sleep during the night. But, I've done pretty well today. I didn't do much except watch the snow fall, fold clothes from the weekend wash and put away the new slow cooker or worked on that project. I did work out, doing the arm bike for the last time this week. I am in a little discomfort tonight having some sort of infection between my scrotum in my leg. I think it's a hygiene situation may be brought about from the length of time going from Wednesday to Saturday. I am always in pressed at how well Dana washes me. She did a good job today I just hope it does the job. I'll look through stash of medicines I have see if I have any of the medicines Dana talked about.

It's the cold season, I went to the food bank today and got more chicken and steak. It wasn't too bad rolling over in the snow I continue to wear a red blanket over my legs now. Sure makes it look really crochet disability wise but hell it's comfortable.

Friday, November 23, 2018

On My Own

I don't know if you can tell that sometimes I am just beside myself at how well am doing, living on my own ,in this apartment, in this part of town in this power chair. I don't talk too much about it for fear jinxing myself but really everything that tits up right now this very second I would feel I've done incredibly good. I wish that all David Riser, my retired physystrist, can see how well I was doing. He would not believe it, Riser barely believed I did what I did when he knowingly and he saw me doing it. But seriously, damn I am doing great, enough said I don't want to jinx.

I was plenty worried but I moved out of the house after the two surgeries, in-house rehabilitation and then outpatient rehabilitation. I really wasn't terrified of living on my own (well kind of I really sat down and thought about so I try not to think about it. I just made my contacts and tried to go to the next step all along the way and not think about what could've happened in just settled on thinking about what is happening. I still am and wonder when I do stop and think about what is going on.

I am making it on three poops a week with accompanying showers. I have to go at some. During the week two nights without without assistance in the toileting area. I'm just so surprised that I have not had an accidental poop yet. I know the poop is coming, the poop's got a be coming because the poop hasn't come yet. I get up in the morning, shave and stuff , make coffee get dressed, then I do my day. I know the sound minimal but for me the maximum. Even I don't know how I do it.

Last night I was laying in bed and thinking to myself what was the best part about paralysis. I laughed to myself and thought it and thought “this is it, right here laying on the bed. I can lay here right on the edge of the bed all night and be okay because I won't move because I'm paralyzed. Now, there is the issue of an occasional spasm which could actually throw me off the bed if I wasn't careful. However, I try to minimize this risk by parking my power chair right next to the bed my legs should they fall off the edge. I sure hope that does not happen. However it has in the past. Most the times I have been able to correct the problem myself and hold myself back onto the bed a couple times I've had to call people who come to rescue me and that's worked out. I know most of the time I have been darn lucky. At one time I believed living on my own and falling out of my bed would've been the end of the world now I know you just call the fire department. It's all kind of crazy to me. Even with all that I'm doing it on my own. Well maybe not all on my maybe I have someone looking out for me… And that's okay too

Thursday, November 22, 2018

Fit For Me

Today was kind of weird– – Thanksgiving – – I felt like I was in the race and I was not in the race. No one was coming over, there is no reason to meet even finish making Thanksgiving dinner if I did not want to at least that's what I thought. But I felt reasonably good and finally got around to putting the dinner together.

Remember yesterday I made a dressing/stuffing and pumpkin pies. Should have put the pumpkin pies in the refrigerator overnight covered but I didn't. My apartment must be very dry the pumpkin pie quickly dried out kind of separating from the piecrust. I was not all that pleased with the piecrust this morning. Actually I thought/felt the crust tasted a little funky you know like too long in the freezer. But I leaned upon I anyway. I don't know how get it I will get both pies consumed is especially if I want to lose any weight. Today I was going to do the turkey in my new roaster. I got the turkey bags out and make sure I knew what I was doing with them and then finally finished the turkey out of the fridge. The turkey is only 10 pounds but still awkward the handle but I got out without issue. I struggled a little with cutting the that off of the bird and then getting into the plastic itself but finally got that accomplished too. Cleaned up the sinks earlier in the day make sure I had lots of room and the sinks are fairly clean. Took me forever to pull the guts out of the turkey cavities making sure I got the packet stuck out of the neck skin. I want the carcass then wrestled it to be making sac/bag. I'm just glad I did not drop the turkey on the floor at any time. You remember I purchased the roaster from my neighbor. I was feeling pretty stoked that I was not going to get the roaster dirty because I was cooking the turkey in a bag. I did everything right and it was kind of tricky getting the bird in the bag but I remember to put in the tablespoon of flour (so the bag would not explode) but I forgot but that venting slits into the bag. Then it also took forever to cinch the little plastic device around the neck of the bag making sure everything stayed in the back. I opened the can of cranberry sauce but it is a plastic container and then come out for the next 3 ½ hours. I got my armed bike workout finished. And as I got closer to the end of the cooking cycle I dug out three potatoes peeled them and got potatoes ready to boil for the mashed potatoes.

I was concerned because I think the bird at 350° which the bag said to do but the directions on the plastic bag particular called for temperature of 325°. I got kind of worried because I thought perhaps the extra 25° possibly my least to overcooking. I really had not put much thought into the endgame but sure enough. Little red plunger was sticking out at the best of Turkey like it was really happy to see me. Like I said I really hadn't thought through how I was going to get the turkey up to a level where I could pull the turkey out of the bag. I kept myself busy and let the oven/turkey cooldown to where I could comfortably work on the bird. Even when the temperature finally dropped 12 point of being able to lift the roaster from the oven top of the cabinets where I could work on the bird. I did not drop subverted all think it's I realized that's what I went to try to lift the bird free of the plastic bag that the task was going to be a really significant challenge. When I tried to lift the legs of the turkey deboned just slipped out of the leg portion. The same happened when I tried to lift the rib cage out and meet some finished it just fell off the bones. I had to pull the pieces of one piece of the time but on the plate.

I didn't open up any vegetables canned or otherwise except for the potatoes and mashed quite significantly with the electric mixer. I figure this is going to be basic meat and potatoes dinner. I don't know what happened to be brown sugar I know I have a new bag kicking around somewhere but cannot find them so I did not cook the candied yams which was a blessing and probably in a lot of ways. I didn't open the all lives.

About 4 o'clock I had my Thanksgiving dinner. A few pieces of turkey smallish but they were actually tasty. I really quite enjoyed the meal. I don't know if it would have been better with people all I know is accepted dinner fit for me.

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Prelude To A Dinner…

I started with the stuffing – – it seemed like the easiest thing to do. Actually, it started way before then. For some reason I don't remember quite why but I started this project thinking I had a roaster for my turkey. As I got looking I remembered that the last turkey cooked was just parts of a turkey. Last year or the year before about this time I wanted to have at least a taste of the holiday so I purchased just a turkey breast and two legs. You know you can do that. The butcher in the back of well carve it up up to what you want really is quite nice. That is really what I should've done this year but since I did not buy the turkey, having one donated to me gave me the challenge of cooking another bird. There really is nothing like. So, my plan if you remember is to do my cooking in increments.

So get this I realized I didn't have any sage. Really, I know I have sage here somewhere I just cannot find it anywhere. So I took off immediately for the market across the street and as I was leaving my apartment I ran into my neighbor who was leaving for the senior center and suggested that I should check over there for a roaster at the senior center bizarre, and small little secondhand shop. I actually thought about checking it out but decided I needed to just give the show on the road about across street and purchased a roaster, a bottle of sage and a couple cans of chicken broth. I was set to go. (Interesting note as I was working out on my bike my neighbor knocked on the door to let me know she found a roaster but she brought over to see if I wanted it. I told her that I purchased a roaster but decided to check it out later anyway when I finished. Turns out it's a huge beautiful, almost antique roaster which cost five bucks, three dollars cheaper than the roaster from Fresh Market. I actually took the roaster back to the market returned the device picked up a bag of carrots.

I love the smell of onions, celery and butter wilting down getting ready to be used for the stuffing. I got a box of instant stuffing from the food bank I didn't realize what could use it but this morning Dana my morning staff said yeah just at the vegetables like you would the bread and stuff which I did and it turned out good enough for me for Thanksgiving and made the apartment smell wonderful . I threw it all together along with a can of chicken broth and the name but is in the bread pan and cook it for a half-hour. I will get tomorrow with my turkey. This will work just fine.

I gave myself a small break, did a cryptogram and started on the pies. I kind of wished I'd had liquor store and got a bottle of Tanqueray not a big bottle a mini if they still have those. I'm surprised at how well the pies went together. I had to private crusts frozen in the freezer I think from last Thanksgiving. They seemed okay a little crumbly. I slopped the pies pretty bad putting them in the oven but I got them in more or less they cooked. They're still in their cooling down. I hope they turned out okay. Doesn't matter I'm the only one who will know , one way or the other. So I'm kind of done for now. The kitchen is not that much of a mess which kind of amazes me. I even got some bags that I will put the bird in when I roast him tomorrow. I'm going to use the new/old roaster. It should be super easy to clean up when I'm done. I have olives, cranberry sauce and I'm thinking of making some mashed potatoes but will have to see about that. I thought about Jell-O but I doubt I will do anything and that area, just to messy. It's kind of fun. It's also kind of pathetic but I'm trying not to dwell on that.

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

It's In The Bed?

What's in a Bag? A simple question but could be a very important question are can be a very scary question. Bags left by themselves I've always kind of intrigued me if nothing else it always seemed to me filled with wonder.

I was pleased this morning when I made the call and found that we would be having a advisory board meeting this morning to allocate funding for consumer grants at Assist, Inc. apartment still looks pretty decent from the straightening up that Mark performed on Sunday. I seem to be fluctuating one moment to the next as to whether I'm going to actually do the Thanksgiving day feast I keep threatening that I am. I have everything I need at the marshmallows which I picked up tonight at the Walmart. At my meeting Dave did the “what's everyone going to do or the holiday?” Interrogation. Everyone went on and on about what they were going to do – – a lot of over the river and through the woods stuff, one person going to Seattle, one person going to Washington DC and others having family over and then suddenly it was my turn. I think I started bubbling. I talked about how I got the turkey and food bank on Saturday accompanied with the bag of fixings. I then rattle on about how I was thinking about preparing the meal differently than I've done before so the task does not overwhelm me I'm going to make parts of the dinner tonight and tomorrow and then took the bird on Thursday. That way I'll have it all done in parts. Even if things like the candied yams or stuffing is made before , days before, it really won't matter when you eat them or when I eat them. But all taste great and in small manageable portions. I have two piecrust in the freezer which is better than sometime hope the piecrust's are still edible. I could tell by the looks on people's faces that they were about ready to start making suggestions about what I could do for the holiday if I didn't want to be alone. I assured them I am okay. I let them know that nobody's home is accessible to a power chair without major intervention. I love not okay that in fact I was better than okay that I was looking forward to building the feast and enjoying the day on my own terms albeit Solitaire or what ever.

The morning was brisk and crisp as I headed out for the bus stop. I was a little concerned about getting to the bus stop in time before the bus around but I had lots of time. My curiosity was perks when I came around the corner and saw this bag sitting in the bus shelter. Really, it was kind of spooky that look like at regular backpack stuffed full with a hoodie stretched over the top. I don't know why but the bag felt nefarious. I don't know why it was just a feeling I didn't wanted to touch the bag. The bag was too neat placed with too much precision. I turned my back to the bag and turned my face to the sun and tilted back in my chair and waited for the 47. The driver commented on the bag and he indicated he had same feelings and then went into explanation of how the transit authority tells the drivers to leave such items alone or call him in the dispatch who will then have the bag retrieved one way or the other.

I'm sure the incident the black backpack at a most peaceful and rational explanation. I'm sure my imagination was just going wild but still the setup looked nefarious to me

Monday, November 19, 2018


If you go to YouTube and when she gets into the YouTube site search for “meadowlarkmark”. As the constant readers of this blog know Meadowlark was a name bestowed on me by my good friend Alan Kimball are “almost Al”. And I really like that moniker and of used it quite a bit for passwords, login names and anything that requires me to have a alter ego name of one sort or another plus when I use the name in public like at a group meeting, group function of some sort it's a great icebreaker which allows me to go into great stories related to the name. Anyway when you go into you to type that name in the search function you should get a link to about 40 some videos either produced by me or videos I've taken of interesting events I was at. I forget that I even have these videos. These videos are quite vintage anymore some of the more than 10 years old. I really like them because of the ability that gives me the search around scenes that bring me great peace. I'm particularly fond of videos that show the interior of the house on Murray Street. Videos of my room and videos of the dining room. Even pictures of my old office when I was employed by the state of Utah.

The other day I really can't remember what the reason was but I sent a copy of one of the videos to my niece who lives in another state. What surprised me/shocked me was that she reported when she clicked on the link she got the message that the video was no longer there. I think that's weird because I'm still showing the video on my YouTube account. I'm a little concerned because I've noticed the quality of the videos seem to be deteriorating. I don't know the science/chemistry or whatever happens to a video over time, on the Internet but Bums me out because I like the videos that I have up. I don't know if I have the tenacity to contact you to and find out what's going on. I don't know if I'm that worried about losing the ability to have people watch me perform air guitar in my computer room in the Murray house 10 or 15 years ago. I suppose I'm just vain enough I will actually do that and effort to perpetuate what little celebrity that I have.

I'm actually thinking of starting are developing new videos. I just think they're so many great old pieces of music from my youth that I just love to lip sync. I've sort of an interested in the whole concept of doing some podcasts. I did these you know before they are really called podcasts. When I interviewed different executive directors from the state of Utah. I sure wish I had been able to keep copies of the interviews I think there is almost 100 interviews by the time I got finished was really kind of fun. They're easy to do an executive directors are pretty big egos.

I'm going to tag a video to the top of this post hopefully you be taken to the video.