Thursday, August 16, 2018

New Beinings




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I'm going to try something I don't how successful will be but many give it a shot just same. I've been thinking when I first started this blog I was working with the state of Utah. One of the reasons I blog was because I ran a call room, granted is a very small call we ran into phones and that was it and because we were a state agency we did not turn phones on until 8 o'clock of course. However, I got to work at seven and worked till 530 p.m., 10 hours. So, one of the ways productively use my time on state time was to write and that's what I wrote I began writing my blog.

I strongly believe that a lot of my best writing takes place in the morning, early morning. I don't know if you've noticed that many times my blog postings feel forced like posting in the blog was something I had to do– –and in fact it was something I was forcing myself to do and I still do not want to get awayfrom that compulsion. So why not? Write while I'm fresh… Like I said it's worth a shot.

So Thursday morning I've done my bit at the coffee social that's out of the way down just killing time before my meeting with “my other family”. Yes, I'm going through the meeting. Carla who is the wife of my older “brother” is arranged the meeting. I contacted her on Monday or maybe Sunday to suggest that I was ready for a meeting and she had a lunch set up for today at 1130 at the Village Inn, just down the street. I don't know what to expect I guess I'm a little defensive but I guess that should be expected right?, Seems like a great person and she looks to be a great person. I really do appreciate her put together this effort. I just doubt, I would be doing this without her or Michelle that matter. Shelley being the big push to get this started. I still need to get a hold of ancestry.com and submit the rest of my fluids to be ch
ecked out. I don't know how anything can be more significant than this meeting and connection. For what it's worth this feels right even if it made cause some bumps along the way.

Speaking of bumps. I really Have not run this past my family – – whom I still consider my real family– –yet, but I have to but I'll be a bit interested in their reactions if there are any reactions at all. I'll probably have more reaction from my friends and associates who I hava labored this point of my origin over the years. I thought about bouncing this on my aunt Elaine, my mother sister, who I think knew more about my origin then she sat on over the years. Now, however maybe I'll have more the story.

I plan to play this low-key. Like trying on shoes. You put them on, wiggle your toes and walk around for a while in those shoes and see what the comfort level is. If it's too painful to take them off or if you really need the shoes walk around until you break that she was in and then enjoy the comfort. But for now I'm just going to the shoe store to see what's available. I like shopping shopping is always fun.

What a wonderful launch. A great meeting...more to come.We had a wonderfully long lunch that village in.


My elder brother Antonio and his life Carla at the village Inn this afternoon. Wow!!!


Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Clean? What Clean?



I was really hoping to be setting in a clean apartment tonight – – actually yesterday but still the day after the cleaning lady does her thing the apartment still sparkles and I love that sparkle. In some ways, like pizza the day after waking up after “the cleaning” the event just gets better. Opened my eyes and everything is in place even the close out on up on Sunday look better because Cindy goes through shakes all the hangers just right and spaces the hung clothes just right. I have Cindy change my sheets. But I went up the day after her visit the bed is still fresh even after I slept all night. The sheets are still crisp and tight. I literally fallen by chair turnaround and make my bed just because I want to keep the bloom on the melon.

I have really tried hard since the last time Cindy cleaned to keep the place a little spruced up. Even with the fact that Cindy sort of got stranded back east doing family support for three weeks. Still there are things Cindy does that just makes the difference. She's got strength of arm that there's a great job one thing in the top of the range and reaching to the back counter tops these are just little things I cannot do or do not do readily that she does in a whisk.

I'm still kind of new to this whole person coming to clean my apartment thing. I ordered two hours of time which is about 40 bucks which I've heard is a deal and I should not complain. I believe it is money well spent if nothing else for my mental health. I apologize, I almost sure I have written about this in a previous post. Let me have my senior moment(That last sentence sounds like a great line for all part of the uniform somewhere don't you think?). And the two hours she is here she manages to mop the kitchen area and the bathroom area which of course, includes sweeping. Cindy restores order to my table and my countertops. She always does a load of dishes even though I have gone through a little effort to watch them – – she says the dishwasher sterilizes the dishes. I don't argue mother knows best. Cindy attempts of fast organization of my writing area but is quickly defeated indicating that would take at least another hour and maybe someday I will. Cindy is like Samantha on bewitched the bathroom though I've never seen her do it I feel she twitches her nose and everything goes to its own place and the shower glistens, the toilet glows and the room reeks with the faint odor of Clorox.

Yes, these are all treats I experience on the day of and day after Cindy cleaner visits my apartment. But sadly that is not happened as yet. I got a call yesterday asking if it would be possible for her to postpone the visit tell next week. Oddly enough I had just pulled her name up on my cell phone to call to advise her that I was not feeling well, I felt I almost had a sore throat and I didn't want to infect her if I was coming down something. I did not tell her child also trying to get closer to payday just to make I knew what I was/will be working with the last week of the month. So yesterday morning was a win-win. Cindy got to be sick, I got to be almost sick and hang on to 40 bucks another week. I dosed up with vitamin C, ate two grapefruit and today feel much better.

Tomorrow I'm having lunch with my new/old family. I'm pretty excited, I doubt I will losing sleep but still this is going to be interesting.okay

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Gnarly Little Apples



I'm pretty sure, and I did not check, that in the bus stories I've told in this blog which there are many, I don't know how much I talked about the bus right on the bus each morning and off in the afternoon. Once we were deposited at the bus stop we still had possibly a half-mile walk until we got home. Not a huge distance as in the narratives my parents visited on me but a significant distance,

Our bustop was that the junction of Boise Avenue and Holcomb Rd. on the south side was housing and farm land. On the north side of Boise Avenue, by our busstop, there was a strip of undeveloped ground above the Ridenbaugh canal. Beneath that was pastures which is to be river bottom of the Boise River been flowed just north of that. I don't know when I found this little Appletree. Because of been the fourth grade around that time of my life. Think it may have been even another year passed that that I realized the little tree actually produced apples. Truth of the matter is that I rarely went on the side of the street. In fact it only time I have used the mounds of dirt was to hide me from the bus when I was trying to ditch school or the bus or both.

It must've been the fall that I found the tree or noticed it, really for the first time. I'll bet it was the fall of 1959 or 60. The little tree over the canal. It was a volunteer tree I'm sure somehow it had planted itself by sheer dumb luck. The tree cannot been very old. It was wild and gnarly sure how to fight for each drop of water the tree pulled out of the canal. The tree was feral if trees can be feral. The canal by which the tree lived was totally concrete. Concrete canals frighten me, the water flows so fast and there's no way out if you should fall in the canel.I really believe that only way that someone who survived such a misfortune would be if they were able to find something to hang onto. Maybe that's why I like this tree so much is because the trees hung so low to the canal I believe I can actually reach out and grab a branch if I needed to. And more importantly what I found was the tree had fruit! Sweet little apples. I would pick an apple in the morning before catching the bus and always pick one for the walk home in the afternoon. Tree was a survivor it had to be to grow where it was. The whole area now is been gentrified and I was quite surprised to find homes and even built on that stretch of ground immediately above the canal. I'm sure the tree never survived redevelopment which is a shame. While wild things can survive many challenges I doubt they can survive the challenge of man.



Monday, August 13, 2018

One Punch In The Nose




I work out almost every day of the week, but you all know that, usually I work out from about 1230 to 1 PM if I get away with it. I like this time slot because Fresh Air is broadcast by the local NPR affiliate. Terry Gross hosts the show and I didn't like her when I first started listening but she's grown on me now and I usually like Terry Gross guests even if I don't particularly appreciate Terry style. Her guest today I cannot remember but make an interesting about being punched in the face. I know I've written about the “sucker punch” just in the last month or so. But this is kind of altogether different. I really liked the idea struck chord with me. Essentially, the writer was saying that people who are raised with wealth sometimes never understand what life is about and tell or if they're lucky enough to get punched in the face. Perhaps being slapped will bring about the same result, I don't know it's hard to tell. It is certainly an event that instantly zaps you from your comfort zone – – I know it does sound a lot like a sucker punch, but in good punch to the face really levels the field. A partial quote from Mark Twain goes something like “a man who carries a cat by its tail learns something you learn no other way). The same holds true for being punched in the face.

Today was a great day for traveling, even though the day got warm there was blessed cloud cover and the heat did not seem so impressive. I was antsy as well. I really didn't go anywhere this weekend and I needed to get out. I needed counter checks which means a trip to Mountain American Credit Union. I'm seeing the credit commensurate to Create. I talked the driver about credit unions and he said he would keep an eye out to. I ended up going all the way to 13 S. and Redwood Road. I got my checks and a little cash hopefully to get through the month. I'm getting well spooked about dwindling funds.

I stashed the checks in my motorcycle bag and took off across the street to catch the outbound 217 to get back to the apartments. I have a feeling it would be a while for the bus came. There was a building just off the bus stop had noticed a number of times. The building is a battery shop specializing in all kinds of batteries. Earlier today my home health person referenced the idea that I need to consider finding a new battery for my body lift. I figured what the heck I can go in at least ask. I know the matter I need is especially battery which I'm sure regular vendors would not be able to help me with but you never know. I had a few minutes before I left the apartment and googled the battery that I needed the best I could find was about $187 for one battery! Almost $200!!

I I could not have been more wrong.This blatant example of inaccessibility was my punch in the nose !I looked at the front door. Steps! But that's cool maybe I go around the back. Others go into the back way, or the sideway or any way that is accessible but guess what? There is no access to the building. The day was hot and I didn't want to risk missing my bus. I took a couple images of the property I'm not sure why hopefully maybe intimidating anyone who might be looking out the front window. I would've been surprised if it had the battery or even access to the batteries. Maybe I'll float this past the DRAC folk just to see what happens. I'll just keep looking on the Internet and hopefully I'll get the battery, the correct battery ordered in before the one I'm using now fades out, entirely

Sunday, August 12, 2018

"Number Please"



I think it's so strange the way texting has taken over social contacts. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing it's just kind of strange to me. It's like no one I know really uses the phone anymore unless absolutely necessary. I don't remember the last time I was called by someone just to chat on the phone. Now people, if they contact me at all, text me. It's sort of like talking but not. I've had very significant and intimate conversations with the text variety conversations I doubt I would ever had just over the phone or face-to-face. What is also I think interesting is that one can use the text/messenger app as a voice to voice conversation device and even more so when can use the video chat mechanism as face-to-face. These are all outstanding uses of messenger/texting but still I miss the phone analog.

I wonder if all the moms out there pining away for some form of social contact with their offspring realized the power and fulfillment of texting. I'm surprised at the amount of people at this senior living project I am at have cell phone to know how to use them. I don't know how many of put together the idea of texting and their kids but I know couple have. Many of the residents here stare at their cell phone as I imagine they do their landline (if indeed they still have a landline)wishing, hoping praying when the offspring will remember them and give them a call. Can you imagine the communication and all if we could communicate with our deceased loved ones? Ethereal texting! Surviving children would never get any rest. And perhaps moms and dads who have passed on would never get a bit of rest either. Kids who never called them in their temporal now will not leave them alone the spiritual zone. Kind of interesting.

I'm still out on what I think about texting truly texting. I certainly have been using the platforms liberally. Again, isn't weird to have it “text date” instead of a real date? If, because of your disability and or age cannot physically get to a physical date but you're able to link up visit, communicate and enjoy the company of another person (S) do you call this a date? It kind of feels the same but in the whole universe of “tele-whatever” or you're just getting saccharin-based, low-sodium sugarfree copy of the real thing...?

Saturday, August 11, 2018

Ho Hum Saturday




I really didn't do anything meaningful today, not really. I didn't go anywhere and that always worries me come around the blog time. If I stay in, like today, pretty much means but I'm part-time writing because I don't have any subject matter. I did my chores: doing my little close and then running over across the driveway to the food bank and getting my humble box of food.

I found that it might get up early relatively speaking. If I get down to the washroom by 8 o'clock rarely is the competition for the big washing machine which I always use. The machine is a front loader is just easier for me. 45 minutes to watch roughly and three quarters, I like to be there when the machine finishes watching which of course is the spin. Throw the clothes into the front loader dryer head back to the apartment. This is ideal timing because I usually go back and check on the dryer at 45 minutes. By this time I have to get snagged by residents who are out in the common area now. This used to irk me a little because I wanted just dump the clothes in the apartment and head over to the food bank. But I've learned something at the last couple weeks but I wash my clothes later and did not get to the food bank till about 11 AM. (The food bank is open only from 10 to 12 on Saturdays) What I found is that if I go to the food bank around 11 there is hardly anybody in line. When I go earlier there can be five or ten people in line. I have found I would just assume not have to wait in line any longer than I have to. Sometimes it gets a little spooky, waiting in line. I have to admit though I've got some pretty pretty good fodder from incidents I have experienced at the food bank.

The people at the food bank like me and I like them. I've talked before about me being a bit of a food snob. I have the staff trained now the only offer me the food that I want and they have. Often, I have to refuse the food they offer. I don't need any more macaroni, it is not worth my time to take milk that is past its due date because I just have to dump it. The bread is usually smashed beyond use and I already have six bottles of peanut butter. Sometimes I take something offered even though I do not want to just because I don't want to hurt the person's feelings. I make them run down your selection of frozen meat products until I find something I really want and usually I their pastries, cakes and cookies or whatever else sugar-based treats they might offer. This always perplexes them. I don't think the food bank people would put up with this behavior from other folks who show up.

It is the season of the county fair. The county fair use to be held in Murray when I lived in Murray. They moved to fair way south on Redwood Road! Still, I figured there would be some form of public transit. Boy, was I wrong. The closest public transit would get me would be a about a mile away from the fair site. That's stupid. So, I pretty much hung out in my apartment the rest of the day. I got a great pound and a half is shredded steak from the food bank which I decided to use in making fahitasand I did with the green peppers, red peppers and onions. Turned out pretty good.

I still have to fold clothes and hang but I'll save that for tomorrow.




Friday, August 10, 2018

El Gato



I'm not quite sure how I feel about Rachel leaving (Rachel of course is not really this person's name, I just thought of be cool to hide this person's name like they do on the big-time) and Rachel is leaving no doubt about it. Whether Rachel was asked to leave or she was being forced out I've yet to find out. This is the first incident like this I've witnessed since I've been at this apartment complex.

As a committed reader knows I am on the Board of Directors of this facility – – not that means a whole hell of a lot but I sort of used this information as a way to set me apart from the regular folk. I'm a bit ashamed of this. I told this to Rachel at one point and almost immediately she called me and wanted me to know about things at work right here at the facility. This is one event I had not counted on and immediately began distancing myself from this person. Oh, I was nice enough but I didn't want her to get a closer and I stopped immediately all discourse about my involvement with the Board of Directors and this facility. This was all over a year ago. I'm now going into my third year at this facility which is unbelievable. It about a month ago I saw a Rachel in the hallway Wednesday document listing apartment complexes (I should've known better than to ask but I did ask). But I did ask she informed me that she was searching place to live she was moving out of this place. She used the term “kicked out”.

I do not think Rachel was an intentional troublemaker but I could see that she certainly had a propensity to move against the grain. Rachel is a bit of a complainer, nothing really ever met her standards and most of the times I elected to stay away from this person and when I did get involved in a conversation I tried to insulate myself as much as possible with Smalltalk and silliness and just enough politeness to get through the encounter. She let me know the reason she was being “evicted” was because she had accused the maintenance guy of stealing some money from her apartment. I just find it hard to believe that the maintenance guy would be that stupid. I can see him being that lazy. I've never known anyone as quick to use all manners of labor law as well as company policy to remove himself from any kind of labor. He spends hours, in my opinion, trying to sweet talk the building manager. But I don't see him robbing residents – – is not that stupid. It's got sweet spot here and I cannot see him risking. I think management as well as the policy guys at the front office recognize that to and happily tossed Rachel in front of the bus.

Last week or maybe the week before it was made known that Rachel had found a place to live and had began aggressively packing up her little apartment to get ready for the move. Nobody talked to Rachel, she is a marketing person, mean how do you openly discuss someone's eviction from the apartment complex without being awkward? Rachel kind of artsy. I was kind of surprised to find out she was quite active with the senior center across the driveway from our facility. She had a whole box of ceramic figurines she had painted. Rachael looked hapless as she tried to move the box from one leg to the other trying to balance her load my legs. Suddenly she looked at me reached in her box and pulled out a cat or mountain lion or something feline and thrust it at me. In a moment like this one never has time to do anything but accept what is being offered and that I did. I said thank you and slinked off to my apartment.

The ceramic sat on my table 3 or four days. I was kind of hoping that I would cherish the figurine with the back of my chair and smash it to smithereens but that did not have. Finally I started cleaning up the table and I had to do something with the image. The table have a curl on the and wish fit quite nicely on my rack. I don't know what else to do with a piece of pottery. I hate cats and I really have no use for a hand-painted piece of guilt. Still, I find it difficult to just throw away – – though I should. Maybe once, Rachel finally leaves the facility I will skulk down to the sharing table one evening and leaving the ceramic. Hopefully I'll be gone the next morning.

Not that it really matters and I doubt that it has anything to all with the plight of Rachel but the project manager, retired last week and left the agency. This manager was quite a ball buster where you have balls are not. Like I said I'm sure there's no relation from Rachel and the managers retirement but still kind of curious.

Thursday, August 09, 2018

Buying An Image



Right now I'm really committed to getting the back up chair that's usable not only for the short term but if needs be for the long term as well. This last bout of sitting in a chair way too big for me and foot pedals that I can keep my feet on the footplates because they are so narrow so slick. I of course destroyed half of the seatbelt system so I must also replace the seatbelt. I'm not really sure how to go about this project and of course I do it in the least expensive way possible but I'm going to do it just the same. So this morning after Thursday morning coffee social I went out and cut the inbound 217 And headed up the road to 5th South and CREATE, Reutilization project ran by Utah State University in the back of the Buffmire building. I will speak with Tom Bowman who runs that program and just see what my options are.

I don't really care how quick the chair I am considering is going to be but I do want the chair to be comfortable and usable for an extended period of time if needs be. I cannot have an appointment today was a lunch of some sort for staff and Tom was manning the barbecue. He clearly did not have time to really visit with me but did me some ideas and most importantly that we might can figure something out. I was okay without Tom totally focusing on me. So I cross the street and got the next bus southbound to the post office to get a better selection steps I had gotten yesterday. I got about $30 for stamps quite pleased with what I purchased an think I have enough postage for the rest of the year.

The days are still hot. They are the dog days of summer. I was wearing a hat I was not overheated but it was warm in the direct sunlight as I sat waiting for the bus. In the distance I saw coming towards me a blonde. As she neared I could see her she was fair complected and she looked hot, white from the heat like that she might have sunstroke. Face flushed and seeming ill at ease. The blonde Looking over her shoulder like a bus but be upon us at any moment but I could see past her and there was no bus on the horizon. I was impressed she walked right up to me and said “I need fare, can you help me out?”. I don't know why I did I said yes. Actually, I started looking through my backpack because I know somewhere I have tokens, bus tokens and that's what I was hoping to find but it did not look like we had the time. So, I dug out $2.50 and handed it to her with the caveat I need to take an image of you. She looked at me strangely like I was a weirdo. I just watched Pulp Fiction this weekend and I really liked the part where Samuel Jackson tells the young the that is not giving him the money is buying the young thief's life. I've thought about this project sometime that I'm going to start just giving beggars when they asked him for money a dollar but not give it to them as much as I'm buying their image and see what happens. The blonde thought about it for a moment and said yeah no problem. I do a different couple images we will settle down and waited for the bus. That transaction was all the interaction we had. The bus came she went on to the back of the bus and of course I was strapped in the front and went on home.

It's obvious now almost midway through the month and temperatures are hot I don't see a change in the near future perhaps that's best. Maybe I need to spend more time on Redwood Road and see what other images I can purchase.

Wednesday, August 08, 2018

Night Ride



I just got in from dinner and a movie. I forgot how delightful the Night Ride is. I did not take time to research the thousands of posts I've done but I know I probably spoken disparagingly of the Night Ride the transistor for bus service after 6 PM. I'm just so happy that I'm in my regular chair and that I did not stress the wiring too much on my ride.

It's kind of sad when you're banking on going to a restaurant/meal before an event like the movie only to find out the restaurant in mind actually closes at 3 PM! So the three of us, all people with significant disabilities, all using public transit at all connected with cell phone communication trying to figure out where to go with the new information about the closed restaurant. In that area that used to be a great little Chinese restaurant made from an old Shakey's pizza building, called the Ho Ho. Truth be told I was kind of interested and excited about going there as a default restaurant but alas the HoHo was gone replaced by some other restaurant. Two other places rechecked are also defunct. We finally caved and went to a fast food joint across street from the movie complex. Which is really not quite so bad a choice except for ingested way too many calories – – fortunately I can extend the morning starving myself for this possibility.

Anyway, I do not want to get caught up in minutiae, Suffice to say the movie was almost great but the company was better than three of us went up following the movie for our own public transit. Actually my friend Lori and I caught the bus for the same train station. It was still pretty early in the evening and the real night we just had not come out yet. Just those who had to work late at that thousand mile stare in their eyes. Skaters going somewhere with the long boards and bikers trying to find a place for their two wheelers. I finally got my station I still have two buses to catch the 54th and the 217. I had to wait about six minutes 54 seemed like forever, I was almost caught in a conversation by some gregarious biker one would know all about my disability. The Redwood Road stop came up quick leave me up on Redwood Road. Usually, the wait for the 217 is relatively quick not tonight. When I checked the online schedule is set I still have 45 minutes to wait so I put my chair and gear and headed home.

It was now dusk, I always marvel at the amount of planes coming in for landing at this point in time. There is a lot of rap coming from the cars it's kind of nice at least I like it. It's kind of a heartbeat for this part of town really makes you feel alive. I worried a little bit as I drove the three or four blocks to my apartments. Was is the exact kind of thing that generates the heat that melts the wires to my chair? I setting myself up to fail big time? I made it though the chair seems just fine. I really enjoyed coming home on the bus… Summer nights in the city.

Tuesday, August 07, 2018

A Little Bit More Whine Please




I know this is becoming a broken record but today turned out to be another wheelchair day. Tuesday is one of the in-between days. I have home health coming in Monday Wednesdays and Fridays for showers etc. and the best perk of this hour of home health care is that Dana, my worker, assists me getting dressed, most of the times this is a luxury that I really enjoy. However, ever since I've had issues with my main power chair Tuesdays and Thursdays and the weekends have been really challenging since I use my power chair so much and myself dressing procedure.

This morning took an inordinate amount of time dressing. With the back of chair the foot pedals are extremely narrow and extremely smooth backing of most difficult to keep my feet on the front place not to mention having enough grip to allow me to bridge enough to take the weight of my butt and pulled my shorts on as well as dragging a leg up to cross the other so I can put my shoes. I was pleased though I got the job done with time to spare before I had to head out to my Tuesday morning meeting.

As I struggle to dress myself, to keep myself independent, the back of my mind I keep seeing a time when I'm not going to be able to perform these tasks. Possibly, I might be able to do a little bit more self-pay or more home health services but the inevitable is out there coming sure is dark follows sunset. Today is Tuesday so I was at the Assist meeting and I felt my backpack vibrating and took me a minute to realize since my cell phone which again somehow turned is ringer off again. The calls from my wheelchair shop. My chair was ready, so those wires in my motor melted. I don't know what they did but they got the chair running again but warned me that the fix is lightweight they really need to replace the wiring completely, the whole harness which once again will take authorization from Medicare.

The chair showed up around 2 o'clock. I had the driver for the chair in the bedroom and once he left I sidled my backup chair next to the repairs chair and into transferred. Something told me I should've had somebody there to make sure everything went okay but no I did not. The transfer went okay but the right arm of my chair which I have to lower so I could scoot across somehow got stuck beneath my wheel. The more I try to free the arm the worse it got until I finally had to call the office which led to more frustration. They tried hard but they could not do anything we have the kind of fire department again they came out saved the day. I hope the authorization comes quickly. The technician's told me that the wires are still loose and very well could overheat again and stop forward motion. This was terrified me at one point time not anymore it just means more annoyance and frustration and hope for better times.


Monday, August 06, 2018

Little Sisters and Global Thermal Nuclear War



The driver from I H C Hospital picked up my power chair late this afternoon to drive this sorry beast back into the shop and high hope find a simple explanation for why the chair stopped working on Saturday afternoon. I'm going to have to stop complaining about the power chair and its problems or at least stop sharing these issues and social media. I'm sure I am perceived as this huge boob being totally held hostage by the corporations of his life. Now I have my little sister wanted to take up my cause go to the mats for me. My little sister is phenomenal. She is some retired big-shot from Blue Cross Blue Shield. She knows her regulations and she knows how to speak “regulease”. She also has the force of a thermonuclear explosion. One that I would not knowingly wish to release on mankind let alone on my durable medical provider. I have other family members who have also expressed such feelings.

I do not know if it is a written rule anywhere perhaps just a rule of thumb but it seems A person who needs a mobility device is eligible to get a new chair every five years. People who have suffered with my Facebook whining know I have had this chair for just under 2 ½ years Which means that long ways to go before and even eligible to be considered for another device. I am hoping that I'll get word back from the technician's tomorrow “oh, it was an easy fix. We just had to (insert whatever easy fix it was) and now you're chair is good as new.” And they'll have it back to me in the early evening. Somehow, deep down in my cockles I don't think that's going to happen. I think they're going to find something significantly wrong with my power chair. I hope it cannot be fixed that my sales guy, Brian will try to do an end run see if they can just silly another chair before the time. Even if this were to happen I would still be without the chair or chair that's survivable until then. This backup chair chair I is not going to be somewhat. There are times that conniving keep myself in the chair. My feet spasm off
the foot pedals all day long. I'm spending all my time tilting back in my chair repositioning my body trying to keep myself from falling to the floor. Let me tell you this wears me out as well as wearing a whole in my left arm right keep pulling myself up. Sometimes I feel like I'm lying down in my chair rolling down the hall.

I really wish I could be more angry – – maybe the wives are right, I am not In contact with my feelings. I need to be seething angry. I need to be so upset I can't even see straight. I need to grab somebody by the lapels of their silly jacket and punch them in the nose and get my way right now. I need to be an American male , I need to take charge take no prisoners and get what I want, get what I need to get on with my life. WRONG! I cannot do that, I'm not wired like that,oh that I were. I'm afraid it would be like when I would find my brother, my older brother, and I would get lucky and get in one punch that almost took him out, or I would let them over my shoulder with the judo move which could never be replicated. My brother would know that when the at sufficiently recovered he would go thermonuclear on me. Remember that great line from War Games,The 1980s movie with Broderick the teenage geek who hacks into America's nuclear arsenal? “The only winning move is not to play.” that's how I feel about attacking your durable medical provider… Don't play the game.

Things will work out they tend to do so – – this is what I've learned. We think of what you got, change things if you can however if you cannot just roll with it.

Sunday, August 05, 2018

My Own Jurassic Park


(Can you see it? That head sticking out from the tree? You have the usual imagination but it's there I can see it plain as day.)

Do you do cloud watching? That great pass time especially in the summer on a day when there are huge by Cumulus Nimbus clouds filling the sky teasing and empty as possible later storms with thunder and lightning one of my favorite summer treats. My imagination runs wild as I look at the huge white puffs decorating the blue summer sky. I see dogs and ducks, birds and faces and even un-nameable body parts. I see cars, trains, huge castles and just about anything my overworking imagination can come up with.

This summer for the first time I noticed a dinosaur lurking in the trees in the park next to my apartment complex. Sometimes, I like to, with the door to my patio open, tilt back in my chair and just watch what is going on that I can see outside my front room window. Of course I can always see the heads disappearing and reappearing skaters use the skateboard pit the County has made in our little Taylorsville park. I'm amazed at the tenacity the kids have exhibited utilizing this concrete spinal injury waiting to happen. Earlier this summer I first noticed the great beast poised to wreak havoc On the inhabitants of the park some sunny afternoon.

I think I had just watched a video or maybe some silly commercial about the size of a brontosaurus or other large prehistoric reptile. It was then I realized, as I gazed out at the tree line of the park, many of these trees, the adult trees, probably the height some of these dinosaurs. So if dinosaurs were in my park there has would pop up out of the trees possibly. That is when I saw his/her big green head gazing eastward towards the morning sun. I was mesmerized as I watched the brand animate the leafy head. I felt I was on the set of one of the Jurassic Park features. For the first time it was easy for me to imagine what the dinosaurs must have looked like. On that I stared at that scene for at least 20 minutes before I finally shook my head in consciousness back to reality. It was just a tree and then when one looks closely the tree didn't look like a dinosaur at all it was just my overactive imagination. But you know what? I love my overactive imagination I wish there was more of it that I can harness and use to my advantage. But I'll take what I am given and not complain about what I could do with more if given more. Whether big green leafy brutes or huge white roiling masses of white moisture Just waiting for the right moment to rain down on my parade.

Saturday, August 04, 2018

Got a Haircut Today Which One… All Of Them



It's not like I was expecting great things for today. Breakfast, wash clothes, quick trip to the food bank and maybe clean up around the apartment a little bit, do some drawing maybe even worked out and possibly catch a movie. That of course did not happen. I was in the front room, I have just brought the wash back from the laundry when suddenly I lost the ability to drive straight. I was having a horrible déjà vu. On the screen of my control I was getting a reading of “motor to is disconnected”. I thought maybe I'd back into something in place the lever and disengaged by motor. Luckily I had a stick with me and I snapped the motor clutch into place but when I tried to go forward the message returned and I just turned in a circle. Are you tired of hearing this because I'm sure as hell getting tired of writing it.

I did not have fit or throw one, all I knew is that I had to switch the broken chair out for the backup chair. I mean there is no way anything was going to happen today, Saturday, on my chair. My wheelchair shop totally closed all weekend. The one piece of luck I did have going for me was I had my cell phone stuck in my pants. I called my son, Mark Anthony unfortunately was home today one of the few Saturdays Mark has been! He agreed to come by the apartment. Mark lives so far away from my apartment that I felt obliged to call at least one other family member who lives closer but cousin Scott was out of town.

I was dead center in the living room. I could not reach my computer and I did not have a tablet with me. I did keep myself entertained some but with the cell phone. I'm sure everyone's tired of hearing me bitch and moan about this stupid chair. But they sure seemed supportive as they responded to my post. Mark and Christie finally showed up and from there things went fairly quickly. Mark brought my backup chair along side my disabled chair and he graciously assist me with my transfer once shared the next. I still have great confidence since I transferred by myself when the chair came back earlier in the week. I turned the kids loose after I was safely in my chair and situated. Luckily, when they brought my chair back that transferred out of the back of chair, I plugged the backup chair and charged up its batteries – – this was indeed a fortuitous move. I still want to salvage something out of the day and I've been looking a bit shaggy lately so I saddled up and went across the street to the little Hispanic barber who practices there.

I cannot believe it my little barber she had a full house! I cannot believe how many people were in this little barbershop. I've been there numerous times and have never seen another patron. But look like a full house – – and that was – – we're just really two other guys waiting for a haircut. The rest for family members of the two guys I guess there for moral support. I got my haircut! I don't know why this is important to be a not like him going anywhere or seeing anybody. I just wanted people to know today was not a complete loss.

Friday, August 03, 2018

Manilla Envelopes



Today was my re-certification day. I don't know if it's a drawback but every year I must re-certify my qualifications for living and senior housing. Senior housing is a federal definition of housing for individuals 55 or older who qualify. Like everything federal qualification meanly dictated by financial guidelines. I really wasn't too worried about re-certification this year – – last year I was really freaked out worrying that might be asked to leave because something may have changed. The last few was a piece of cake, and this year my income did not increase but my medical/dental did significantly due to some emergency dental I had done last September.

A couple weeks ago when I came home from being out and about there was a manila envelope attached to my door. The envelope looked official. I hate manila envelopes showing up on my door from the management office. It's never good news. Since the envelope showed up at the beginning of the holiday weekend I put into effect my holiday/weekend envelope clause, Said envelope cannot be opened until the first business day following holiday or weekend. My reasoning is if the envelope holds bad news nothing can be done until the first working day of the next week or day after the holiday. Since nothing can be done till then the envelope might as well just be left alone, So I left it there clamps to my door. I actually thought the document was information concerning some repair work that is going to be done to my apartment still nothing can be done until next Monday so I let it ride.

When I finally did open the envelope the beginning of this week I saw it was notification of my timeslot for recertification. Today, Friday at 11:00 AM. It's for the certification I would need to bring it proof of payment for anything dental/medical. I need to hustle to get this material sometime for the meeting. I was still not to threaten by the certification. I just have to let them know I was talking to people to get the information together. I have a meeting this morning. I was a little late because I had a late breakfast with a friend of mine. Last night I filled out the documents I needed and gathered the one proof of payment statement I'd gotten from me dentist. The meeting I had with Jennifer, the manager of the apartments was good. I got a couple assignments I have to follow-up with but basically I am done.

I wonder if I had opened up the envelope the first night it showed up on my door would I have reacted differently. Would I have made contact with my different health providers and got the documentation and had a nice little packet to hand in ?. I don't know I like to think that I would've. But somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind I think I would just fretted an let the document with my holiday weekend. The document would've laid on my kitchen table all weekend and intimidate me. I think I did everything just right.

Thursday, August 02, 2018

Memories


Image may contain: grass, outdoor and nature


I've never really sat down (yeah that's a joke I sit all-time) and enumerated all the things I cannot do because of my disability. There is a bunch things like close dancing, running on distances are short distances for that matter, running name in the snow urinating in the list goes on and on. However, as I said I've never sat down and done that is not productive probably somewhat depressing and certain level. That's okay though I'm so happy with what I have been able to do. I am truly lucky and blessed.

Yesterday, I noted an image that my, former brother-in-law posted on his Facebook page. His name is John and I really like John. I kind of miss him. John is a hard-core Christian and I do not hold that against him. What really fascinates me about John is how physical John is. When I first got to know this person he was in the military and he would sometimes have layovers at the Air Force Base about 40 or 50 miles away from our home in Murray. John would think nothing of jumping on bike and riding on from the Air Force Base to our home to visit. John a sense retired military as well as contract work in the Middle East and has settled with his wife in the rural community of Boone North Carolina. He has a beautiful house in a rustic setting which requires a great deal of physical labor. The image John sent was of a pile of split firewood. I can just imagine what that pile of what started out as and I'm sure John fell the trees, de-limbed them , cut the logs in the sections and proceeded to split the what and fireplace/wood-stove sizes. I took the image from the Facebook page posted on the beginning of this blog entry. What a beautiful piece of work. He said he loved the work and I can believe that. In my pre-adolescents we lived on a farm just outside Boise Idaho. There was a time when we use the honest to God potbellied stove to heat the house before my dad found us a furnace to burn. I got the job of splitting what for that stove and later for the furnace. Even though we burn coal my dad but also burn what to stretch the coalbin. A couple of good large pieces of what in the furnace when you go to bed at night will stay stoker from working quite a while. My point is, I love splitting wood, whether it was sectioned logs or scrap wood from packing crates furnaces will arrive in at my dad's shop and dad would beg the scrap wood which we would collect on Saturdays.We had a huge pile of the scrap wood and I could chop as much of that wood into sections as I wanted. I wood chop for hours sometimes. I particularly liked the lock sections and you knew you were getting accomplished when all it would take was one swing of the axe in the piece of wood split asunder – – I miss that, I miss hard work. I even tried splitting some wood a couple times after my accident but that was not wise. You have to be able to hold the ax securely For a bunch of reasons most importantly so that later the ax Would it not deflect off the wood and lacerate your leg/my leg. That never happened only because I was damn lucky.

But thanks John for posting the image let me remember but good honest work was/is. Swing well John and swing safe.

Wednesday, August 01, 2018

Resolution For Those Who Want To Know The Rest Of The Story



Noble backup chair, Waiting for the next assignment.

Is it just me or does the middle of the week way to quickly? Maybe it seems quick just because it seems to be a lot happening to me right now. I know, it's not all about me but you know what sometimes it sure feels that way. I am very thankful to have access to a backup chair. I'm sure I've written before but I wonder if you gimps fortunate enough to have such a device at their beck and call. Having said that I would also like to reiterate how uncomfortable and to some degree dangerous this backup chair is. We got this chair from the program at UCAT, coordinated by the University in Logan, Utah State University. The seat of the chair is too big for me which is part of the reason for its discomfort. The foot pedals on the chair are very narrow and makes keeping my feet placed on the foot pedals difficult at best. The control box is “goosy” as well. Control is not stop the motion of the chair once pressure is released from the joystick making the chair kind of dangerous. Everything else kind of works. The batteries are weak, but the chair basically works and gets me by type spots. I'm thinking about fixing the but place with a little box like I have on my regular chair.

Roger the technician finally called me a little before noon to let me know that I damaged the struts on my chair somehow (like when I rolled on the sidewalk into the small ditch between the sidewalk and the grass, and by the grass). Indicated I would have to have new struts. The struts would cost 160 bucks apiece And that he had already submitted the request into the Medicare folks. This process could be swift , a couple days or bureaucratically long as these things tend to be. Durable medical folks are so weird they seem adverse to private pay. I actually have the 320 bucks or whatever it would be for the struts. This is the price Roger quoted me – – I did not think to ask that covered labor. I just don't want to if I don't have to especially if by Medicare will cover the repair. I even have that kind my plastic.I just find it so hard to pay down the credit – – I would just as soon not put it on a credit card. But one has to do what one has to do to get by. Roger finally indicated that he had pushed the strut back in place and that The chair seems to be working okay. Roger further indicated that falling short of running into another ditch or giant crack in a sidewalk or something I should be okay. I just need to be careful when and where I'm running my chair. This of course kind of spooks me, who knows when and where the next trauma to my chair will be. However, I survived this and I suspect I will survive whatever else might be thrown my way.



Tuesday, July 31, 2018

What To Do Now?



I really did have great hopes for this day and it was a pretty great day all things considered but the way it ended much less than what I anticipated. I was pretty excited when the day started. I think I was so excited I couldn't sleep well. I woke up at 4:15 AM and really did not get back to sleep. I was having lunch today with an old friend of my, a person I work fairly close with during my career as a transit coordinator will wind up in the learning Center. She was the Americans With Disabilities Act ADA person for the local transit authority. She's been retired now for maybe a year to and we never got together actually until today. For a short time earlier this year she began showing up for the DRAC meeting. It was good to see her at these meetings I did not feel so alone – – Sherry, her name is Sherry, Thought a lot like me. However when things started getting bizarre at the DRAC program particularly the recent ADA anniversary event Sherry dropped out. However, Sherry was still interested and have the event and my feelings. We decided to have lunch to discuss this. I chose the restaurant/bakery I had lunch with last week with my 211 peeps.gourmandies.

We have scheduled to meet at 12:30 PM. I got there early, so you have to not to kill I went across the street to the state wine store. I've been looking for a box of wine but when asked the state work looked at me and said “oh, you would want to go to the regularly store for that, we just handle high-end wines here. And to what extent of the greatest of headed over to the bakery. At one point leaving the wine store I drove on the sidewalk and onto the grass. I was quite shocked when also my power chair jolted and I must have drove into a ditch small ditch on the side of the sidewalk covered with grass. It took me a while to drive back on the sidewalk but was able to do so I didn't pay any more attention. I met Sherry we had a great lunch and visited for hours. When it was time to go my power chair began to act strangely. The left drive wheel was somehow lifted up and could barely touch the ground coffee me to sort of go in circles. I couldn't go forward I would not be able to go home!

The days are hot and the is no different. Sherry worked with me as much as she could trying to figure out what was wrong with my chair and what we can do to get it fixed. I called the shop, wheelchair shop and they were essentially worthless. They said that they could certainly my chair out once I got home that was the problem how to get home? Luckily, Sherry still have friends at the transit authority and they sent out an accessible short van to pick me up and drove me all the way home. As you longtime readers know I have a backup chair just for situations like this. I was hoping RafaelCould help me transfer into my backup chair. We were not able to accomplish this and I really felt that Rafael needed get back to work . Rafael, Who was a supervisor, and only cannot save me because it shares history with the authority. Nobody else would they have done something like this for truly saved my bacon. I called my brother, my good old or brotherWho dropped everything and came out and rescued me once again..

I have a love-hate relationship with this chair is too big for me is very uncomfortable. I hope they fix like chair one day. I don't know how long I could stand this chair I have to spend any amount of time in the chair. I would have to cancel bookclub on Thursday they can't get it fixed tomorrow. I suspicion that something happened when I ran on the sidewalk into that whole. I jammed the wheel or something or maybe broke something on the motor. It's already been costly in time. Let's just hope we can get it done by tomorrow evening.

Monday, July 30, 2018

Maybe Tomorrow



I heard something on NPR today that's really rolling around in my brain and I wondered how true the story actually was – – not that I doubt the story, I would not knowingly cast a shadow of question over the reporting . The story was about the need to to hydrate over these hot summer months, actually to hydrate all the time. I was about ready to blow up the whole story when the reporter interviewed a doctor who wrote the aarticle. Among other reasons to hydrate, according to this reporter, was to stay focused and alert. Significant research has been done showing that clarity of thought is dependent on A hydrated the subject is. Of course the doc is touting the old eight glasses a day standard. I have done eight glasses a day, back in my first rehabilitation days. I swear I almost drown. To ingest that much fluid you have to be drinking all the time you're conscience. They are essentially forced to drink two glasses of fluids per meal and then two more glasses of fluids between classes.
Dianne could do that. She was so good at drinking water I was amazed and a bit envious. So if this information is accurate I have a reason explaining all my episodes of forgetfulness, word finding difficulties and who knows what else I can blame my many inadequacies on? I just have to drink more fluids and does not have to be water! This summer and been drinking a lot more water mixed with flavorings I get from the dollar stores – – or what used to be the dollar stores. I have really been trying to force fluids this summer. Some days I do better than others but I have increased my fluid intake but I cannot recognize an uptick of my cognitive abilities just the amount of catheters I use in a day increased.

I was thinking about how many catheters I use, this morning, while in the bathroom at the wheelchair shop. I was late, I was monstrously late because I had scheduled my wheelchair reconditioning to close to my visit from a home health person, Dana. I thought of been so cool and smart when I set the appointment last week – – I could've had any time in the morning for this event but I wanted early in the earliest I could get was 9 AM. Thank God they could not do 8 AM. I totally spaced out that Monday morning is my standard meeting date and time with Dane and it's always at 7 o'clock in the morning. In my defense I almost made it. I would've been very close even with switching buses at the West Jordan transit station but when I got to the transit station I had to wait half an hour before my bus but even depart. I called the soon as I could to let the wheelchair shop now and they were most gracious. Luckily I was carrying a bottle and one half of water. One bottle was from my meeting with DRAC on Wednesday and a bottle of flavored Springwater when just foisted on me Saturday at the food pantry . Usually I just carry the bottled water my backpack until I tire of it and usually given to someone who looks like they need an 8 ounce drink of water or toss it somewhere. I don't drink on the road as a rule just because I live in constant fear of not being able to find a bathroom that's accessible when I need one. I realized that on any of my tripsI rarely have found the restroom I could not use. Especially new construction. Some of the trendy restaurants made from older buildings still cause me problems but usually I'm okay, especially now that I use a catheter exclusively to relieve myself. Still today while I was out I only drank what was left of my bottled water in the DRAC meeting which is just about half. That in the event considering getting into the sparkling water. The sparkling water just seems to special to drink just because it's hot outside. Maybe tomorrow.

Sunday, July 29, 2018

"Hi" You Don't Know Me But....


Image may contain: 7 people, people smiling, people standing, people sitting and outdoor

I am fairly sure, I've decided I'm going to make contact with this mysterious family but seems to have found me through no efforts of my own – – that is unless you count Shelley, my daughter lives in Oregon and got the whole ball rolling a number of months ago when she did Ancestry.com. I've written about the process what happened so many going to that further here do your research.

I was contacted by I guess a new sister in law, Carla. This is really awkward to write. Not that it really matters but the sister-in-law is the one who reached out and really made contact with me. I'm kind of getting visions of the wife who gets all involved in her husband's business – – not a bad way but in the way of someone who takes care of that individual on all levels. I am guessing that “sister Carla” is the prime mover for any family functions. I noticed a couple days ago a “friend request” popped up on my Facebook page and it was from Carla. I I should have not been surprised this “Friendship”request was coming. But when the request popped up on my screen, I stopped dead in my tracks. I did not back away from the computer but I sure as hell felt like it. I don't really remember but I'm sure I uttered an (expletive deleted)Statement and just wondered what might really do now?! I must admit I'm a little embarrassed that I think I closed on my screen when off-line for the rest of the night. Then I decided, “what the heck” took a deep breath and hit “accept” on the screen.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting. However I almost immediately realized when you accept a friendship you get access to that individuals page… All of it. So I decided to check out the photos. I don't know if she is what is termed “local culture” i.e. Mormon but she certainly looked the part as did her family and what extended family was pictured. I of course was more interested in her husband my “brother” and I don't even know if I need to put the quotes in anymore. Still for the time being I am using the quotes as of protection – – stupid I know. This is the person that my daughter saw and recognized immediately. I don't see the resemblance except He has a bald head. He also has body type that I feel would be similar to what I have had I not become disabled. I guess is my older brother by just a couple of years. So he would be in his 70s similar to my adopted brothers. (This is so weird and I already am experiencing confusion.) There is also some images posted of other “family members” that have been found by my Sister-in-law. Hopefully, my readers will remember that what has been found Is that my birth mother had quite a habit of dropping kids all over the Northwest. There could be as many as 10 or 11 of us if not more. Interestingly, a couple of family members live in Utah. The closest being my sister-in-law Carla and her husband (my brother) Antonio. That part of the mythology is true there seems to be a very strong Native American/Hispanic lineage going on which is good to finally know. These guys live about an hour south of where I do. I guess the balls my court will have to set up a meeting. I of course will try to meet them halfway at least that they do that on the train. That would be the coolest thing to do. I suppose I could have them come all the way to Salt Lake. But sometimes a trip to Utah County is an adventure worth taking.



Saturday, July 28, 2018

Doing Art



I don't know what it is. I don't if I have reached a certain age that I have accepted something about myself or maybe it's just that I'm drawing more this summer that I ever have before. I'm drawing and using colors more than I've ever done before and I like it. I still like the black markers and their affect on paper or whatever surface I'm using to make marks on. Perhaps it's my Association with my friend from the Netherlands, the artist, Elske. She's an instructor at the local community college and Elske has taken time to look at my work And praise it. She's giving me pointers and been very supportive. Of course, I want to please her so I'm drawing more. Also my friend Lori, has also been very supportive. Lori is also a very artsy fartsy type and knows what she's talking about. I trust her in put. All these influences put together has increased output and I like that. My goal this year is to finish one of the handbooks/sketchbooks I've been driving around for years trying to fill up. I think I can do it this summer. I don't know how much, now I'm going to pursue the auditing of art classes at community College. I do not want to disrupt my “primitive” art renderings. I don't know how much I believe these comments or even if the comments are accurate and not folks just being kind to the old guy in a wheelchair trying to draw. One thing I have thought very provocative about my Art instructor is she is not above using herself as a model. Neither am I accept I felt a bit self-conscious. I mean after all, weren't so I'm going to find new and representation of a human body in real life? I am my best model that I have right now – – that might change who knows? What I found very supportive is that Elske has been more than encouraging me to be her model. She likes my form because I have all the curves and the shadows the artist covets. When I shared with her a number of my images (modeling) I thought she was going to start crying she was so pleased to have a ready model of my statuary and accessibility.This of course got wheels turning and I'm wondering should I actually be a model for our classes? Would that not be a hoot? What if I could do this but probably in Europe i.e. Amsterdam. Never have been images being seen in the US? This I'll be too good to be true but let's see what happens. Stranger things have happened

The days continue to be incredibly on sustained heat 90 and above for weeks on end. Everyone else is complaining so of course I am exclaiming how wonderful the heat is. I sure I am driving the old ladies here at the senior living complex. They sit around up front and complain about how horrid the heat. In fact in the heat of the day I took off boarded the bus and went into my Barnes & Noble in search of a book of cryptograms. The heat felt great as well as entering the buses, I swear a rolling morgues . You could really hang meat in those buses. I keep saying I have to cherish these days of heat while we have because it's only a short time before the hot season ends. But, I may be totally wrong. Global warming is now left to global burning. Seems like the whole world is on fire this summer. Increased heat and dry winter and spring's just made way too much fuel and now there are fires everywhere. So maybe This summer's heat will be extended knows how far. Irresponsible or no going to enjoy every minute of the heat.

Friday, July 27, 2018

My Peeps




I am finding that my cynical age that anything that makes me not is of great value if to no one else but to me. A couple of weeks ago actually a couple of months ago I made contact with one of my workmates at the last job I was actually at over at 211 which is a part of United Way.

Readers who follow this blog long time but remember that in my job evaporated with the state that Claire, my boss, worked out a deal with United Way of Utah are Salt Lake to provide me with a phone line in a workstation at two and one Salt Lake County's information and referral system housed at United Way. By being outsourced to 211 allow me to stay an employee of the state of Utah for another year allowing me to finish in time I needed to become fully invested in the state system allowing me to take my full pension which is made all the difference in the world. Though rarely expressed there is also hope that I would become an employee of 211 Information and Referral. I don't not know how good a fit I would've been with United Way overall but I did okay with my group of operators.

The operators at 211 were not ready for me when I came on board. I was a bit of fresh air something completely different to what they had been working with. I was used to work in my own shop and I was pretty radical for a state worker. My style was a little brash but challenging to my callers especially if they had to work within the traditional medical model system. Many of my callers are parents of kids with disabilities and they often needed not only encouragement but a nudge in the right direction opted permission to advocate for themselves since nobody had ever taught them how to do so. I think I only got in trouble twice for advising my callers to challenge the system. Do not totally accept direction of their private nonprofit worker. Especially be wary out input from city County state and even federal officials. I was busy pushing the thoughts and concepts on Independent Living, a national movement of people with disabilities taking control of their lives.

As in any call center our phone calls were often monitored . And I got called on the carpet twice. For the end of my station at 211 I was still radical but not as much center started to be. Actually I worked in I don't think I'll be working long before I would be asked to leave.

My coworker still love me I was really kind of surprised. We were a tightknit group. Members of my calling group took care of me. In the dead of winter but it was so cold and I would wear my big white gangster coat/parka and they would actually pull my jacket over me and made sure I was safe and tucked in before I left the building. Many of our callers are Hispanic and a large number of our operators are bilingual it only makes sense. But they often were shocked when I would give my callers permission to fight the system anyway they could. We became a tight group. Today a large number of the operators I worked with came together at a little restaurant not far from the office and had lunch. This is the first time that this happened with me. It was such a great experience I really liked these people. They are my people and I love them dearly.

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Coffee, Book Club and a whole lot more


It's the middle of the day! I'm choosing to write now because I do not know how much energy I will have when I get in this evening. In fact I just got up from resting for about two hours. I never registering today but today I did just so I have advantage. I still have to do my book club and then I have to participate are rather I am participating in an ADA celebration. Today is the anniversary of the Americans with disabilities act. I must admit I am lukewarm, at best, regarding the ADA. I believe 90% of the acts passage was for political gain for the Bush administration. However, everyone clings to it as the Messiah of the Americans with disabilities. The organization DRAC, which I am part of, has thrown together this years celebration and I'm supporting the folks with this event. However, today is hot in the 90s I best be careful.– – This is also a very short posting hopefully  I will be able to will will add more later…

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Real World




That have good this morning leaving the apartment and hitting to the bus stop. I was inbound making my way into the county Housing Authority basement where the DRAC meetings going to be. Today felt like a Monday probably because yesterday was a holiday, Pioneer day. I hated holidays and fall in the middle of the week I was working it was like having to survived two Mondays in the week – – now it is like a gift second Monday in the same week. Still I have to admit I was a little dusty in the brain trying to figure out just what and where I was at. I was a little concerned immediately because I knew I was going to have to tell the folks at DRAC that at worst I was not going to be able to make that ADA celebration tomorrow and that best I'm going to be a half an hour to 45 minutes late. I was a little spooked on how this was going to go over.

I don't know if it was the holiday week that this is or the fact that I'm pretty self-involved at this point in my life. I'm not leaving my apartment much. I have everything I need right here especially since I'm trying not to spend any money before the end of the month. I have barbecue, I have crinkled chips, I have two bottles of juice, pantry cookies and a whole lot more. I wandered down to the front of the facility in the morning to check my mail this a little bit then I am back into my unit Point working on drawing, cryptograms and cleaning up here and there. I am self-contained. I have the familiar feeling of coming back to the world as I boarded the bus and the driver and the driver tied me down. The sensation was one of familiarity like coming home are pulling up a chair to the table with an old friend. I was checking back in.

I was an hour early for the meeting which is okay by me. I sat by myself in the basement and sketched little bit and played with my cell phone telling time. I even took a couple notes for possible blog ideas. The team eventually got there – – don't care pizza and water Goodenough. Tomorrow's our ADA celebration. I hope it's not beautiful. Five hours at the county building with intermittent attempts at entertainment some kind of food in answering questions of a celebrated note. I had forgotten that this event was on Thursday and of course on Thursday I have my reading group at the library. I really wanted to do both events bu there is going to have to be some overlap. I just told them going to be about an hour late. Actually two hours late because event starts at 4 o'clock and I have to do bookclub from 4 PM to 5 PM that book has been bound the city County building – – if I'm lucky I'll get there by 5:30 PM and the thing was scheduled to go till eight I think that's enough time. I think they'll be happy if I show up at all. I thought I'd get more stress but once again my view of myself is much different than how I viewed by others and perhaps that's best.


Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Pioneer Day 2018



I don't know what to think. I've been waiting at my apartment all day for a visit from someone who is going to help me clean the drawer that fell to the floor earlier this week. Not that I was going to do anything today but I could have in fact I was entertained the idea of going to the latest Jurassic Park offering. Oh well, something must've come up. I just hope everything's okay. I know that his wife is getting close to near death and I know that keeps him tethered to the house. I just hope he's alright.

Today's Pioneer day, sort of like founders day for the state of Utah. Typically the day is celebrated with a gigantic parade in downtown Salt Lake it's a world-class parade televised and everything. As riotous holidays go Pioneer day is on the same level as the Fourth of July but I'm not hearing near the level of explosive exuberance as I usually do about this time of the holiday. It's nearly dark and by now I usually hear explosions resounding all around this neighborhood but so far all I can hear is the raucous adolescence from the skateboard park across from my apartment. Mostly adolescent boys taking the same ride on skateboard or bike over and over and over. Isn't this the definition some mental health issue? But no explosions not yet anyway.

The only thing I can think of- in this is way harder for me to believe-but maybe just maybe the idiots and finally got it through their heads that it is too dry and hot to safely launch fireworks except in massively controlled environments like the city sanctioned fireworks show. There is actually a major brushfire up by the capital building today! A few houses came close to being incinerated but they were able to knock the fire down and time. The whole Western region of the US is on fire it seems. There's been coverage of these blazing areas on all news programs. It is the driest I have ever seen. So hopefully people have gotten together and are not going to launch these mega firework displays that is been the fad of these last couple years.

Evidently I spoke too soon. Sigh, I've heard a couple of reports of fireworks exploding. Still nothing like I've heard in years past so maybe there's hope we get by without a major incident.

Monday, July 23, 2018

Resolute



I am resilient that is probably my strongest quality or at least one of my strongest qualities. I have the ability to bounce back which I guess is why I'm here today writing this post.I spent a good part of this day reclaiming my work area or art space. I usually hate this kind of work but today it felt good. Part of the reason I was so focused is that my older brother was supposed to come over this afternoon to help me with my broken drawer. You remember yesterday's post about the drawer I destroyed when cutting off the rear end a corn cob. Doing that number on the corncob broke the drawer a little and then I added some pressure cutting something else up it was all she wrote and drawer crashed the floor.

And the day of the fatal crash in this afternoon I kept looking at the space that destroyed drawer resulted in and I Feeling stronger and stronger that I was to leave the space alone. I could see that I could roll under that area next to the refrigerator minus the drawer and have a solid work area much better than I was using with the drawer. I also saw that with just a little bit of effort I can actually use my kitchen table as an adequate work area. I should've been doing this all on I am such a slow learn. With this in mind I called my brother canceled the visit or at least put it off until tomorrow when he can come over and clean the hardware on the side of the space for the drawer once resided.

I cannot really say I am “half full” kind of guy in fact I don't yesterday morning staff she would say I'm “half empty” kind of guy. I really don't know which I am except I need to survive the immediate situation I might be in any given time and many times is not the best of options. Life is just simpler in the “half-full” universe. I don't cry nearly as much in that universe and I laughed probably more. I live in perpetual hope many times that's all I've got. Whether it's see my bus zoom past just as I get to the bus stop. I know they'll be another bus in 15 minutes – – I can wait 15 minutes I can do that standing on my head :-). Ice cubes on the floor, my floor so sticky ice cubes will help when I mop the puddles of water up. I'm stuck up to my axles in white stone gravel. My neighbors calling the fire department to come yank me out and they do. I bounce back. I broke my neck, paralyzed from the neck down. What a gift! No mission, no Vietnam, college paid for and the vehicle was controls. Not a bad trade-off, quite as severe trade-off I am aware, but I got back I am resilient. It's a gift.

I am beginning to feel my resolute is beginning to fail not too bad right now. But, my moments of doubt are elongating. I have nothing another room not knowing what I'm doing there more and more. Not enough to signal anyone that I'm in trouble – – because I am not I'm just having “senior moments”. We all have those at this stage or so I like to tell myself and convince thyself. I have to convince myself. I didn't even clean my desk when I need to. I can recognize when my household is out of control and entropy is taking over. I can bring some resemblance of order back to my living space right now. I need to vacuum more, file more often that I tend to. I spent all morning filing bills. I don't have destroyed drawer, now I have more accessible and usable kitchen… Now, doesn't that sound much more friendly than “destroyed kitchen”.