Friday, June 23, 2017

Chaos And Me


I think I might be a focal point of chaos. I don't mean to be and I don't use this as an excuse for how my life tends to look most of the time but I cannot get away from the fact that chaos seems to court me. Not only chaos but general loss.. From the earliest days that I remember I have been challenged as far as being able to keep things neat, orderly and clean. Of course this manifests itself early in the life of a child by having their toys scattered all about. I was always challenged by my parents to clean up my room which I could never really seem to do right. I just cannot figure out the whole concept of order.

In the second grade when, for the first time, you're allowed to keep things in your desk your expected to keep your desk neat and orderly. My desk was never that way. Chaos reigned beneath the wooden surface. Glue fell over on its side leaked out trapping number two pencils and blunt end scissors Until teacher data inspection, which she did every 4 to 6 weeks where I would get the wrath of the dirty desk. Simply like anything I cannot figure out what to do with got pushed to the back of my desk. Orange crayons from Halloween, toilet paper turkey legs for Thanksgiving all kinds of Christmas candy from the holiday season. Luckily for me following the first of the year the holidays didn't seem so messy. From the first the year forward it was just presidential remains from February, shards of green paper that did not make adequate grasp our flower stems for spring and then it was summer. I wandered through grade school with messy desks and messy scolding's.

Junior high was just as bad with my ever present messy locker. Luckily most of the time the teachers left alone as long as you're able to get your assignments done and have your books ready for class your locker was your own turf. It seems to me they were locker inspections but I don't remember them very well and I always seem to get by. After my wreck and broken neck by locker went from messy to chaos. Lockers are made for people who are able-bodied and not folks in wheelchairs. I kept a few things in my locker mostly stuff I had downloaded a hurry but kept most of my books and stuff in the backpack.

I would love to say things are changed but they have not. My apartment is a mess I need a keeper someone to come in and clean up after me. I don't have an excuse I wish I did but alas I'm a messy person. Though I have to admit even though my apartment is supposedly one for a person to disability my unit is difficult to really live in from a power chair even the manual chair if I used my manual chair that much. I have a pile on my table because I can't find places to stow everything. I can only use the front of a few of my countertops and the same goes for the range. I have a difficult time cooking because I can't get very close to the stove.


I doubt very much will change as I live by myself. Once I can get my finances regulated and I have enough for a housekeeper I will engage one and probably be very happy. I always seem to be happier and things are cleaned and chaos abated.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Pay Day!



What a great surprise when I called the other morning to find out that there is in fact a meeting David informed me there would be a meeting! I cannot believe how pleased that made me. We've had so few meetings the past the last two months or so do the end of the year financial issues that today was great to have a meeting and on top of that I got paid. A paycheck! A 100 and $20 paycheck!!. I guess it's not much and the money spends quickly but it's nice to be recognized.

If I were to go to my blog and do a search on “Assist, Inc.” I would get a bunch of dates where I used “Assist”. I would find so many references that I'd consider not finishing the post that I'm writing right now. But you know what I don't care if it's redundant because my Assist involvement seems to be pretty important to me right now. I don't know if my Assist involvement good or bad to share and I don't know if assist Inc. activity is good or bad to acknowledge. I wonder if my volunteer involvement is an example of weakness that I have to exemplify my need to be wanted. Just like this morning. I got a knock on my door it was Jimmy the resident advisor came visiting to see if I was okay and that was I going to my Thursday morning coffee social? Jimmy went on to say, “all the want to know you're okay and are you coming to social?”. Now I know this is authentic, these are comments that Jimmy would not make on his own volition. Somewhere enough old ladies ganged up On Jimmy and asked him to go down and see if I was okay. While this is totally embarrassing it is also totally endearing to me. I almost did not go down to the meeting today because I actually slept in. I never sleep in but I did today. But I was going to the meeting/social would not miss it if I did not have to. But the question of this paragraph was do I need social reinforcement? The answer is of course, of course I do after all I am human.

I did not go to my Assist meetings for the honorarium. In fact I had gone to the Assist meetings for years without getting an honorarium . Assst,Inc did not  have an honorarium for most of my Assist Citizen Advisory Board  involvement, I guess I got some sort of payment because I actually got paid to go to these meetings as part of my job description so on top of my regular salary I often got Comp Time. I really used the Comp Time when I wanted to extend a lunch date, or get off early on a three-day weekend or any weekend, I might dip in the might Comp account.


I love the honorarium checks because the check is symbolic , a reminder of time actually devoted to some ideas/project. It reminds me of when I used to have a job, go to work to be part of a greater system. A system I miss now like national holidays, 5 o'clock and payday.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Confusion


I do not know what happened last night. But I had one of the worst nights sleeping I have had in some time. I think I woke up around 2:15 AM and never really got back to sleep. Now that I think about it there was road construction going on all night long on Redwood Road. The kind of road construction that has large vehicles moving back-and-forth with backup alarms sounding off every time these trucks going reverse. I had almost forgotten about the road construction and the alarms.I may have dozed off and on but not very much. I don't know if I was worried that I would sleep in and miss getting out onto the bus and up to the University to meet Lori at 10 o'clock in the cafeteria. But I was feeling drugged out this morning as I got up and got ready.

I thought I'd given myself enough time to make the bus, to make the train to get up to the University Student union by 10 o'clock. Not only was I tired and filtering everything through tired eyes and foggy brain but it seemed like the universe itself was against me making this date. I admit I should've consulted UTA tracker to see when the next 47 would be coming by but did not. I saw as is coming down the sidewalk from the apartments 47 was in traffic at the stoplight. I didn't think I had a ghost chance of making it but the light was incredibly long. And I got to the sidewalk to the bus stop as the bus “turn off of Redwood Road on the 4700 S. going east. I knew I was not going to make it to be at the bus stop when the bus would pass the bus stop. I was hoping the driver would see me I even stopped and turned and tried to wave at the driver to let them know I was coming. I kind of think he saw me but he did look up just turn the bus and drove past the bus stop. Unbelievable. I could not be too mad, was too tired to be too mad, even if I were not tired however I should've been at the bus stop I should've known the bus was coming and planned my arrival on time. It would been nice had I connected with the driver that didn't happen so I waited 15 minutes. Next, I am at the train station. Even with having to wait 15 minutes I still had ample window of time to get up to the University by 10 o'clock. However the Redline came up I press the button to deploy the left and open the doors and the lift deployed at the doors didn't open. In honesty my chair may have been too close to the door and as the ramp deployed and hit my front wheel and retracted back into the train. I continued to press the button in hopes that the ramp would deploy again – – and often does. I have done this a number of times the ramp, deploys and door opens and I'm on the train but not today. I have to wait another 15 minutes so by that that time I lost a half hour.


I'm not sure which University train stop his best to get to the student union. I finally asked a number of young people riding the train with me (who I knew had to be students) which was the best stop and they told me. I got off the train and took off. I stopped a couple people on my way to get my bearings. I was running late I knew I was going to be late now. I messaged Lori to let her know I was going to be late. It was quite a trip from the train to the student union. I got there about eight minutes after the hour so wasn't too bad late wise that is. I got there zip through the cafeteria could not find Lori anywhere. I waited I waited in fact I waited till 11 o'clock and I finally called Lori to find out where she was at. She told me she was at the cafeteria sitting in the back. I did not see your own back and forth numerous times. Eventually it turned out she was sitting in the cafeteria at the college around the corner from my apartments. She was shocked as of the University but as I recall our conversation specifically when we made the date that she was to be on campus at the University of Utah. The conversation had revolved around her being on campus learning to negotiate her way around and I figured that was why we were meeting up there. It would been so much easier for me had I understood that the community college was where we were meeting. I don't know how I would've handled the eventhad I gotten enough sleep. I felt like a grump because of the lack of sleep and I'm sure came across as a grump. To make matters worse today is also Lori's birthday I guess I sort of messed everything up through the form. I don't know if I want to try this again at least not right now is not to I get some sleep.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Surprises

My friend Dave the leader of  our Tuesday morning board group signaling the meeting is over.

I was really planning on staying home today, maybe running over to the market but since I went last night there really is no need, except recreationally and that's pretty pathetic. Typically Tuesday is the day that I go into Salt Lake to attend my Assist, Inc. meeting. However, the last two or three weeks we've not been meeting. It's the end of the grant year and most of the counties that use our service has spent out there budgets so we have not been meeting. My routine is I get up and get dressed as if I'm going into the meeting then after 8 o'clock I call. As I've said the last couple weeks when I have called, the meetings been canceled so imagine my surprise this day to be told that in fact we are having a meeting. Okay great. In fact I was probably going to travel into the city anyway to go to the library to return the book I got last week 

I'm kind of surprised that we had a meeting because Salt Lake is under a excessive heat warning. Seniors, people with disabilities and those with respiratory ailments are supposed to stay in. It would take more than 90° weather to keep me in but I was concerned about some of the  ladies on our board. One drags around an oxygen tank, one has an incredible smokers hack and the others just plain old – – you notice how I did not include me in to the group. But we had our meeting. I went in early as I always do and go by the library dropped off my book and looked at some of the titles of books been sold to raise money for the library by the library volunteers. I am really getting into audiobooks and sure enough there was one there I wanted. But I didn't have enough cash and I really didn't want to run it through on my credit card. But I made a mental note to myself to get some change and come back and if it is meant to be, the volume would still be there. This is one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn I'm still learning. Usually when I go back the item is gone.

As I said everybody made it to the meeting. It was good to see everyone it's been a while since we all got together. I was pleasantly surprised when David opened up a folder towards the latter part of the meeting and pulled out a number of checks. We actually get a few dollars for every meeting we attend. It's not a salary as much as an honorarium. I was blown away when I opened up my check and it was for 120 bucks! I could not believe it 120 bucks. I found the branch of my bank which is downtown  and just a couple blocks from the library. As soon as we were finished and zipped over cashed my check and returned to the library and sure enough the audiobook was still there. I was so excited I couldn't believe it. I got the book came on home.


I really enjoyed my day out I found it most productive and I got a new audiobook.For a day that started with nothing on my agenda I felt like I had a full dance card at the end.

Monday, June 19, 2017

"Hello"?


Does everyone remember Cats Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut? In that book Vonnegut makes the suggestion that people exist in groups referred to as a “karass”1, these people do not know that they are in a specific group or even in a group but they continue to become aware of others in their group you can also say constellation. Specific individuals seem to keep showing up in your life for no specific reason. Also, you tend to feel these people with a level of familiarity when they enter in your reality.

Yesterday I wrote about a person who fell outside my window onto stones and pavement and how I heard her call and want to assist what level I could. This person I have felt a weird familiarity with ever since she showed up at the apartment complex a couple of months ago. And not done anything regarding this familiarity. In fact I have been a bit distant from the person even a bit intimidated by the person. She scares me. I don't know why but she does. After the incident yesterday I definitely know that she is in my group.

What really kind of disturbs me is that if it is important for a person to interface with another person in their karass and for whatever reason The person does not make contact with the individual then universe begins to “assist” that individual to make contact. I am sorry getting the feeling that is what happened to poor Deeann yesterday. I am concerned that poor Deeann took the tumble outside my window/door to force me into a situation that I would have to make personal contact. I do not know if Deeann falling and possibly breaking something was a test of my moral fabric of helping somebody or was the incident focused to ensure that we engage on a deeper level.

So now I'm going to spend and an inordinate amount of time worrying what my next step is going to be in this bizarre relationship. This person is like 75 and I don't know how severe your elbow and arm is. I do not even know she got back from the hospital yesterday. I don't even know what what apartment she is in here at the complex not that really matters but still I don't want a kill her by my inaction one way or the other.

I feel like Jason Bourne – – “I'm just trying to do the right thing”. I'm trying not to overthink the event because I think if I overthink the event I am going to get pissed off. Not that I wouldn't help. But really,whgat happened to the concept of free will. And Am I being manipulated on a cosmic scale? I would be surprised if I were that important. I think Kurt Vonnegut is right regarding his concept of karass . I sense karass operating all the time in my life and I don't know if that's good or bad all I do know the person doesn't have to break the elbow just to say hello.

1karass – A group of people linked in a cosmically significant manner, even when superficial linkages are not evident.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

A Cry For Help


I was actually trying to clean my apartment this afternoon . Today has been a quiet Father's Day Sunday. I've spoken with my daughter who lives in Oregon and I was just finishing up making a potato salad which I thought would be a great addition to a stake I'm planning to cook later on this afternoon when I heard “Help!”, “Help!”. The door to my apartment is open as it is most days during the summer and there's a constant din from the skateboard park just across the driveway from my apartment as the teenagers wander eternally up-and-down the concrete ramps. When I heard the cries for help. In the back of my mind I noted how the cries for help sounds like me when I'm calling for help when I fall out of my power chair or shower bench. I heard that “Help!” Again and finally said “What” and wandered towards the open door.

I've fallen and I can't get up” by that time I got out onto my patio and there to my left, across the road, onthe concrete and stones, just under the fence that separates us from the skate park was Deeann, one of the residents at our facility. I of course did not know what to do, I rolled directly out there to see if I can be of any help. Today is a sunny day almost hot, actually it is hot when you're laying on your back in the direct sunlight with a possible broken elbow. I got to Deeann and thought maybe she can climb up my chair if I can get it close enough to her but that was a no go. I talked with her and could see that she was in great distress. She was just happy to have somebody responding to her calls. I tried to call someone in our apartments but the sun was too bright on my cell phone and I could make any calls we finally decided to call 911 let the professionals handle it.

As soon as I got 911 online I was thrown back a couple of months to when Honey and I were stranded on a shower seat in my shower and having to communicate with 911. The time was about 2 o'clock and it seemed like Deean and I were the only human beings except for the kids at the skateboard park, on the earth. Deeann had actually had initially called out hoping to get one of the boys/teenagers at the skate park but they all but ignored her which is weird because someone should've heard her if I heard Deeann across the driveway– – idiots. I suppose the 911 operator has a particular protocol he/she has to go through but the protocol is sure annoying. I found if I could stretch my hand out I could block the sun out of Deanne's eyes which I did. I was worried because I'd did not know if the fire guys could get into the gated community – – they couldn't. I almost felt I should leave Deanne and knock on doors at the apartments so I can get someone to give me their want to open the gate.

The firemen got there and could not open the gate of course. I'd given explicit directions to the 911 operator that someone would have to go in and contact the resident advisors and they would open the gate or any one of the residents could open the gate but that didn't seem to happen. In fact the firemen had their axes out and were about ready to chop the gate open when someone did finally come and opened the gate.

I have to admit sitting there with my outstretched hand over Deanne, blocking the sun, as these emergency vehicles moved the vehicles were kind of intimidating to say the least. But I stayed there and finally when the fire guys came over and engaged us with questions regarding Deanne I booked . Soon they had her bundled up and taken away and I have gotten back to my day, finishing the potato salad. It sure is amazing how much  your day can change with a cry for help.



Saturday, June 17, 2017

Finger Licking Good


My home health person is Honey. I have written about Honey before. This is not a blog about Honey this is a blog about Honey's influence on me. Friday's when she attends to me she always asked me what I'm going to do over the weekend than Mondays she thousand up asking what I did over the weekend. However annoying this might be it motivates me to do something and think of doing something so I have an adequate answer to these questions and do not feel like such a loser. Today I was not going to do anything except stay in and work on my journal project which is basically scanning pages from my journals over the years. This is a tedious and arduous project but one has to be done. Yesterday I actually went to the library and got a noddy about to help me get through this task this weekend but the book leaves a great deal to be desired. I listen to it last night and it just does not grab me the way a book needs to. However I do not feel well enough to trust my bowels to go all the way into the library sermon listen to it some more today while I scan.

This morning was so beautiful that I couldn't stay in. Even though I had adequate coffee, the coffee is not great coffee. So I went next door to a little coffee shop got half a pound of Italian roast to mix with the adequate coffee. Now I have something to tell Honey. It's all about ready to to start scanning when I remembered I was out of body soap – that's I think that's what they call it now – – so I threw my pack over my shoulder and headed for the market. I even went to the drugstore and priced body washes against the price at the Fresh Market that I go to. Fresh Market won. I got a number of items for the bathroom to either put on the “back up shelf” or the body wash which which I got a pretty good deal by getting one of those bundled two-for-one options. I really don't care what kind of body wash I'm using as long as I have it and Honey doesn't bother me about not having any.

So this task done I should go home and have lunch. I have a number of items I could have had for lunch but I couldn't bring myself to go back to the apartment. I decided instead for no good reason to treat myself to fast food and not only any fast food but super greasy fast food. There is a KFC in the parking lot of the market and I have never really been inside which I think is kind of astounding. Then I am shocked, I realized I am just about, exactly one month away from the 51st anniversary of my spinal cord injury when I was working for a KFC. Inside the KFC, I found the place almost empty. I was dismayed the choices one has any more somewhat limited. I really wanted original style chicken wings but the only candidate chicken wings one can get at a KFC anymore are some kind of barbecue wings which I hardly think is fair.the closest thing I could get was a five dollar meal which included drumstick and a thigh. So I got the chicken parts described, mashed and gravy, one biscuit and a cookie and the drink. I kept seeing myself as a poster child for senior citizens. Old man eating by himself at a KFC. How pathetic. The image posted with this post is a picture of my table somehow reminds me of a scene out of 2001 a Space Odyssey.


The meal was surprisingly good at least I was surprised but best of all have something to tell Honey come Monday.

Friday, June 16, 2017

Council Of War





It's getting serious. The DRAC team is beginning to enter into discussions regarding just how we're going to get senators and other members of the Congress (Utah delegation) pay attention to our request/demand that our congressional delegation do something regarding the very likely healthcare reduction for low income folks, seniors and folks with disabilities just trying to get by.

There was probably 7 to 10 of us today meeting at the Housing Authority of Salt Lake County, conference room. We were basically call to action by one of the members of DRAC (who just happen not to be here today) but she stated that she was getting frustrated that we were talking a lot but nothing was really getting done. It was time, she felt, to move whatever we're going to do to the next level. Many of the DRAC personnel felt/feel the same way the same way. We had a good 45 minutes to an hour discussion regarding not have enough support to possibly make a difference. There is concern about the lack of press coverage over the last actions that DRAC has had. Billie felt we needed to bring about an action with serious consequences. There was serious discussion of “taking State Street”. There is serious discussion about being arrested. One must remember there is a certain fraction of this group which has been involved in serious, dropdead serious, direct confrontation and places most specifically Washington DC. Our oldest member Barbara had no compunction of heading right into the belly clubs of the national police but the Salt Lake police or state police , Utah Highway Patrol (UHP)depending on which Street we to take might be a different ballgame. It's hard to fathom what the local conservative law enforcement official might do. In DC I think a lot of the direct action/confrontational stuff is grand theater. On any given day the members of law enforcement have to deal with any number of different demonstrating actions. They cite and release like fish in the wild. I believe I was in one of the first disabled direct action operations in the history of Utah. The cops were more than nice they were taken off guard in fact they did not know quite what to do thousand and 30 years ago now days it's a different piece of music. I think a rather be surprised if it was a catch and release operation. I think even the citations are issued will be real citations and I think the court will love a real fines. I'm not ready to deal with real fines I don't have the finances to deal with real fines. Does that make me a boob? Probably does but still I think I'm drawn the line at incarceration.


We decided that we're going to have an action in two weeks. We're going to try to drum up interest in a commitment of many to show at this function. At this point we're talking about stopping traffic over lunch in State Street. I'm certainly willing to give direction, I'm certainly willing to be part of a march to certain degree and who knows maybe I'll get arrested with everybody else.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Letting Go


As far as I'm concerned the sale of my van is a done deal. Jimmy stopped me the other day as I was going to check my mail to let me know Cornell, his nephew who wants to buy my van, has started raising money for the deal. He seems really committed. I'm ready to let the van go. I found selling the Van at first difficult and somewhat threatening. I really did believe, and still do to some degree, owning a vehicle in this culture is a major underlining opinion and being that owning a vehicle and driving, makes a person a valid/credible being. I often have equated owning a vehicle to owning ground in America. But since I got titled solely to me the vehicle a few months ago the van has really is been a bit of an albatross around my neck especially the insurance factor. Gosh that's a lot of money to pay every month for a vehicle I've rarely use. In fact when I went to show the vehicle to Cordell the van was stone dead. We found a set of jumper cables, from Irene thank goodness, it still took us 30 minutes to get the vehicle started. I don't have a driver possibly Mark Anthony, sometimes Jimmy here the apartments, but seriously is not doing me any good except as a part of my personality that is gone.
Letting the vehicle go is just another part of my identity vanishing, I feel. But it's okay. I think that's where I am at. I'm learning to cope with less, much less. Is that not what we all do as we age, what we have to do get by with less? I don't not know if that is a right or wrong supposition. Even when I look around and see homes I pass as I go back and forth to the train station I see junk in many places pouring out of the garages, backyards and even front yards. They're not taking care of their stuff. True they own the property but why?

Cordell is young he is about three years post injury. He lives in Sheridan Wyoming and seems to be a very active paraplegic. I'd be surprised if Cordell is even 25 years old. He loves the van. I do not think there is a way for me to talk him out of the van even if I wanted to. I do not think he is as mechanically oriented as other parents I know but I think Cordell of that rural mentality that does not let anything stop them. And there certainly those around him which can act as a safety net or mechanical system to system if he should need mechanical assistance with the vehicle. I feel pretty comfortable in informing him of issues the vehicle has Jimmy has also pretty much indicated that he feels it's a good vehicle and Jimmy know stuff like that. So I do not believe there any sucker punches that Cordell will experience at least with the vehicle. I hope the two will be very happy.


I hate selling stuff I hate asking for a price and I hate taking money I'm going to do it. I'm going to take the money and put it into a separate account to be used solely for home healthcare. Being self-pay this would assist me with healthcare past the end of the year I think. The cash will certainly take out some the stress that's for sure and remove the white beast from its lonely corner of the parking lot.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Such Is Life


Yesterday was not a nightmare but the day was a challenge. I slept pretty well thought, but when I got up I felt exhausted. The morning was overcast, a mess, it felt like winter lots of rain to start out with. I did not have my assistant meeting which meant I could stay in all day which I did. I actually thought I had a bit of a bladder infection but I got through the day a couple chair naps. I spent a good part of the day back working on my project scanning journal entries from 1988 onto the hard drive.I am making good progress and hope to get the blue binder done by Friday.

This morning I felt pretty good when I got up. I woke up first very early trained in action got back to sleep waking up again at seven. It was until couple hours later that suddenly I felt a squirt and new my day was going to be different than I had planned. The squirt became a gush and suddenly I knew I was sitting in a swamp of poop. I didn't feel necessarily disheartened. I knew this day would come eventually wasn't sure how I was going to handle it. Now the day was here. Stationed myself in the bathroom got my cell phone and called Honey. Honey of course was with the patient and she directed me over to Joe , the boss. I waited probably 45 minutes just in the bathroom when Joe showed up.

Just seems to be a great guy and runs a pretty good company I certainly enjoyed working with Honey. We had a good visit probably clean me up. Didn't feel too bad about having to call the service since this was my usual day for health support. Honey of course would not have to be over tonight since I did everything this morning. Joe got me dressed again in my chair. I am not on my usual cushion but so far I have not had any issues. We do have the cushion wrapped in one of the chux. Joe found the poop stopper In the cabinet: Imodium. Took big shot of that hopefully that'll stop the progress. I hate not being able to take care of myself.

I saw Jim when I went down to check my mail, after getting dressed and sent Joe on his way. Jim let me know that Kordell is going to buy the van and is working on putting together the money now. I really hope he's able to get funding he needs. Again I want to use the money set aside the sum to pay for home health support like this morning's intervention.


I thought sure I had another novel on CD to read/listen to while I worked on my scanning project but when I dug it out this morning I found it was cassette tapes that the novel was on. I don't feel comfortable enough to leave the apartment right this minute waiting for the rest of the day. So I guess I'll have to listen to NPR and do my scanning and move slowly so as not to do any more pooping. So I know now what the process is when this happens again and it will happen again such is life.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Van go


The cold front brought rain and much cooler temperatures. I shouldn't be such a wuss its not like it's snowing outside. But here I am hunkered down in front of my flatscreen this cold June morning not even thinking about going outside. In fact I'm feeling a bit guilty because on a normal Tuesday I would be outside the riding the bus going into standing meeting over at Assist. Inc. but it's the end of the year which means we're basically out of money and the people who serve know that so no one is submitting applications for assistance. Hence, no reason to to meet. I'm done with my audiobook from the library and the two discs I borrowed last week but I'm not going to turn these library items in. the're checked out till 20 June I have more than enough time to wait for the good weather to return. I have a Philip K Dick, I purchased a few months ago from the library book buyback which you keep me going until later this week when the temps rise again.

A couple weeks ago the resident advisor here at the apartments asked me if I wanted to sell my wheelchair van. I suppose he noticed I rarely use the vehicle and he has a nephew in Sheridan Wyoming was looking for an accessible van with hand controls. I didn't think much about it until yesterday when he came into assist me with my wheelchair pedals. He said the lad was coming into town was interested in looking at the vehicle. I said sure thinking in the back of my mind wow, I might really sell the thing which was a surprise.

I have been semi-frantically searching the apartment for the postcard I got from DMV indicating that I have until the end of this month to perform a safety inspection on the vehicle i.e. renew my plates. This isn't such a challenge if you're able-bodied but for me it means having to get the vehicle into the dealership, who does our/my inspections, and paying for all that. In the past Dianne has done this so I have not felt the pain. I would love to sell the van before I have to do this. I can do hate to let the van go but I tell you just dealing with American Family Insurance is just about one me out. Seems like I get a piece of mail from them every week saying how much I owe them. I almost had to pay $10 extra this month because I was late paying the insurance rate. So consider the insurance and the fact that I don't use the vehicle I really am ready to let the thing go.


I met the nephew last night came over to look at the van. Nice kid paraplegic twisted about three years ago so he is new. I'm surprised he wants a van very few paras I know drive vans. Maybe it's a big deal in Sheridan. The van was stone dead we had to find jumper cables and took 45 minutes to charge to turn the motor over but the kid took it out for a drive to charge up the battery, says that he likes it but I haven't heard anything more. I don't how much to ask for but would like 3500.oo out of the vehicle and dedicate the whole sum the home health care. I feel guilty selling the van since Dianne and I got it together kind of. But she's pretty much washed her hands of the vehicle when she dumped the vehicle on me indicating she can no longer really drive the thing with her bum arm. Anyway we'll have to see what happens. That would guarantee me home health services for the rest of the year.

Monday, June 12, 2017

Memory Sift


I'm fretting about my garden. My garden the one I planted with the help one of my fellow residents here at the apartments last week. Actually, my garden looks beautiful Ms. Not a whole heck of a lot to do except watch the plants grow. The boxes that we have for garden space actually has sprinkling system built into the box. That's what I've been doing this morning actually waiting for the sprinklers to turn off so I can go out and plant some green onions. I made ham fried rice yesterday I had some green onions that really needed to be used so I cut them off about 1 inch above the bottom but still left me some good green onion to fry in my rice and the scraggly tops I tossed. This morning I took the four or five bottoms out to my garden space to plant space but the sprinklers were on. I guess I could've been tough and bore the whole underground and drop the onion's bottoms in black figure to be just as easy to wait for the sprinklers to be off.

There must be a cold front moving in. We've had a great deal wind over the past couple days, wind warnings every day. The front is due today the high temperature this morning was 72 with 62 to be a high the rest of the day. I waited and waited for the Sprinks space to shut themselves off. The sun had risen and raised over the top of the brick wall that surrounds our complex. Some feel good when the rays were able to push themselves around the clouds that seem to be moving in with the wind. Surprisingly the wind felt good – – surprisingly because once the summer heat has started to hate to see cooler weather move-in. But as I waited for the sprinklers to cease I told the back of my chair and let the cool wind rush over me. I tilted my chair back and enjoyed the moment. As I did so eyes closed, hearing the wind pushed the trees around like fraternity bullies I was taken back to great wind blows on my farm in Boise 60 years ago. In a moment I could smell the alfalfa mixed with spearmint waft over me. The wind blew hot drying wash strung out on the line in 15 minutes. The yearling calves and even their mothers ran wildly in the pasture their tails up enjoying whatever the wind was blowing their way. High in the sky above the clouds Jets left white contrails crisscrossing the blue background visible in breaks among the clouds.


I am memory sifting, that is what I call the process of letting go and allowing exterior elements retrieve memories from deep inside my mind. Sometimes an older, a piece of music, the situation can trigger a moment or reverie of memory sifting. Sometimes I have to tease the memory out other times the memories tumble from my mind like children listing at the door which suddenly opens. Regardless for a moment I am translated back to a moment long ago..

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Shine Your Light On Me


I know, I've written about Andrew numerous times. But you know what? I never get tired of Andrew. Andrew fascinates me and I really like him. I don't know if he likes me. Sometimes I sort of think he just tolerates me but then again sometimes I think Andrew just tolerates everyone. That's okay I kind of understand. If I was as smart as Andrew I think I would probably feel the same way.

Yesterday at the healthcare rally I was pleased to see Andrew at the gathering. I really wasn't sure quite how to interface with the lad. I do not see Andrew as much as I once did when I was employed and would ride the train every day. Now it seems I just see Andrew at functions like the healthcare rally. Andrew was there to be part of the rally to make a presentation and of course be seen. I just note that seems a bit distant recently. I thought about going up and talking to him immediately but held off because of this distance thing and I wondered if he was thinking that about me. Hard to say. I really admire Andrew's ability to communicate with people. I also am envious of Andrew's intellect . Andrew has a sharp mind and great recall which facilitates his ability to be a shining light in the local political arenas. My light is quite dim especially sitting next to someone like Andrew. Anyway, I spent some time visiting with Stan (see yesterday's post) and I was a little concerned that Andrew would think I was snubbing him. But I was not. I eventually did go up and try to say hi. And you and I've had this interesting relationship where whenever we would meet each other we addressed each other by our surnames. In Andrew's case Mr. Riggle which he would reply Mr. Smith. Yesterday as I saluted him as Mr. Riggle he responded by saying “hi Mark”. A bit taken aback I just sort of blew it off. But I continue to wonder why the change.

I really enjoyed the time I spent at the rally. I really had no responsibility except to be there and to wander around and be seen and make some contacts but they were few. I did sign wanted to of the documents they had floated around. I did visit with Deeda an individual I knew slightly in the past when I was involved with housing and low income folks but recently she has come into my universe again. I sense I'm going to be working with her more in the next few weeks. I will be doing a profile on Deeda in the near future. I consider the morning quite productive for me. It got me out of the apartment, got me involved with the public function and gave me something to report back to my healthcare provider come Monday when she asks what I did over the weekend – – she always asks what I did over the weekend. Which are used to resent but now I really appreciate because what times than not is the main reason I got out and was social. That I need to do more.


I missed the closeness I want had with Andrew, and maybe I was majorly mistaken. Perhaps we were not close at all to ships passing on the train.

Saturday, June 10, 2017

"Me" Day



I was not sure what to expect today at the healthcare rally which is held at the federal building downtown Salt Lake. That gotten a number of notices on my Facebook and email accounts plus be involved with DRAC this week there is a strong push to have the DRAC folks show up and even man the table they had at the rally. It was sort of a private nonprofit free-for-all. It's kind of weird how this kind of public action almost direct action has become a venue for setting up tables and passing out information at the tables and doing even some recruitment. I'm not saying it's bad I'm just saying it's kind of weird.

Didn't have anything going today I could have stayed home cleaned up little bit, wash clothes or even enter pages from my journals to the hard drive – – which is one of my new projects. But I felt an inch to be involved with something today, to go out and do something. I was really decadent and possibly irresponsible by taking myself out to breakfast on the way to the bus stop. So I guess is making a" me" Day – – it's kind of joke aren't they all "me" days anymore?

I wasn't sure where the park was we were supposed to me that which is okay I noticed a family with with cardboard signs under the arms and I figured mirror on their way to the premeeting. There is to be a gathering point that city Creek Park and then march as a group downhill to the federal building, symbolic home of our federal legislators. The initial meeting was called for 10 we got there a little bit afterwards but I was pleased to see a lot of my friends there for singles in wheelchairs. We marched and we chanted and ended up at the federal building. Of course there were even more people at the federal building with music playing in the background. I kind of rolled around make contact with some of the folks that I knew. It didn't take long to get the show on the road. There are a number of speakers that did the usual moaning and groaning. There were a couple good speakers as always and soon I had to go to the bathroom. It look like there had been no thought about this issue luckily we were down town next to Harmon's market downtown. They have great bathrooms. When I got back everything was wrapping up just great well like it. But touch base with a couple of the folks I work with the DRAC. Make contact with couple of the local leaders make sure they knew that I had been there. Not that it mattered but I just wanted them to know. My buddy Stan was there. I use have been more and more impressed with Stan over the last couple months I've seen become much more involved in the political process which is good. I'm not sure whether she really believes there are issues as far as the federal government cutting our support systems but he sure is out there now which is good glad to see that. That stand the top of the page is an artist now I think he's even going to make his living with he art which really impresses me.

 I went and I'm glad I went and was part of something bigger than myself this Saturday

Friday, June 09, 2017

Getting Left Behind

I have recently come to terms with the fact that I'm really an old guy. I used to think I was pretty well with it especially in the area of technology. I worked at the state, I ran a information line and we get a lot of stuff on the Internet. I was a little bit too early for Facebook and Instagram and social media platforms. I hear on my news programs like Morning Edition and All Things Considered that Facebook is now passé. Old folks are the ones who are using Facebook now. And I fall right into that group and I hate it . I tried to keep up I even got an Instagram account but I immediately lost interest when I was trying to set up the stupid thing and had to deal with all the things like · passwords, user names and all that stuff. I just couldn't do it. I don't know how long ago that was could've been over a year. In fact a minute ago I actually went to Instagram and was shocked to find how much I'd done to develop a presence on that platform.

I want to say “why?” Is not Facebook enough? But then the second I say that I didn't image in my mind of me talking to my late great neighbor Al, trying to explain the need for involvement in Facebook. He just looked at me tilted head and smiled. I understand that look now. It's I would look at Little Mark if you trying to tell me how good Instagram and how I should be part of the Instagram family.there's also Snap Chat. That's got some great feature that vaporizes an image you send someone half an hour or whatever after you send it which makes me think of all the reasons one would want a snap chat account these folks are up to something they don't want really broadcast out there. Just for the fun of it I thought about enrolling and Snap Chat but again the process was inundating and finally defeated me or my desire to send timed images of myself. It's sort of like that old quote “nothing good happens after 10 PM”. Boy, that sounds like the lyrics from a country-western song.

Social media is the realm for the young and I suppose the young at heart, which breaks my heart that I am no longer among that group.



Thursday, June 08, 2017

Freddie


This is my new friend Freddy. I met Freddy this morning over at the Death Star as I like to call IHC Medical Center. I was over at the medical center to visit the wound care center for the wound have had on my rear end for the last couple weeks or at least I thought that I had a wound on my rear end which pleasantly turned out to be not the case. I suppose the great medical support I've gotten from my caregiver Honey is to thank for that as well as the dressing that she applied to the wound site because the professionals who looked at my but today said there was no skin breakdown. The nurse practitioner indicated she could see where there had been some issues but as of now there were none. I am so relieved. They gave me some medications,some prescription salves and ointments and set me on my way along with the Council to wisely stay off my butt as much as I can or at least do my pressure releases.

I had gotten to the medical center fairly early so I could grab some breakfast before going to my appointment with wound care. The appointment I thought was four 9:05 AM. When I got to the office and checked in they indicated that my appointment was actually for 9:50 AM. So I had an hour to kill. When I first got off the elevator I saw this quadriplegic sitting in a chair over by the stairs. Actually I was surprised to see a number of spinal cord injured folks being seen by this wound clinic. This is positive. What I also I believe is positive is that they have a container of snacks for people waiting for their appointments. I was impressed to see a small package of Oreos available. I grabbed one and rolled over to where the fellow in a wheelchair was sitting opening the cookies I offered him one and he took the treat. We started a conversation. I found out he was a quadriplegic (which was very obvious). He told me his name is Freddie and that he is from Central America. He got shot in the neck 25 years ago result in his disability. He comes to the wound clinic once a week to get a treatment for a long-term wound. He told me that his appointment was until 130 that afternoon but he like to come early to get out of his house. He liked being at the medical center because they were people there walking around and I think living. Freddie says he comes down to the medical center a lot just to hang out. I can appreciate that in fact I used to do that a lot in the old days after I had sustained my injury. Freddy was easy to talk to and very inquisitive as to how I live my life. I found myself falling back into my role as a peer counselor. I have to be careful doing such things as peer counseling because it's easy to overdo the role. This is important when you no longer are employed in that role.

Freddie desperately wants a wheelchair van. He cannot drive but he wants the freedom that he could get if he had a wheelchair van and had attendants drive for him. He has very little funding and I'm not really sure how he survives. He did confide in me that is basically undocumented. He also indicated that because he does not get Social Security, Medicare or Medicaid or some other supportive program that he is relied on different individuals and private nonprofit programs to get him needed items like catheters, Chux, and other items needed by a person with a disability to live day by day. I saw myself getting sucked in to the position of a saver – – I'm not a saver anymore. I can certainly give this gentleman some direction gladly I will do that. I may even advocate for him to a certain degree but it's up to Freddie to take responsibility for himself which I really think you can do.


We traded phone numbers by Freddie calling my phone and by doing so establishing a link one to each other via the phone system. He wants to buy my wheelchair van. I told him my van is a dog out of a hard time selling it to anybody but he still wants it. Freddie thinks it's his key to freedom I think it's his prison if he doesn't watch out. I gave the price of what I would consider selling it for he said he's going to go and see if he can find the money. I gave some options of where you might find some possible funding and I don't know if you pull it off but if anybody could do it I think Freddie can. He figured out a way to get himself to the United States from Central America this boy has some great skills.

Wednesday, June 07, 2017

Medical Monday


This last Monday was medical Monday.. I had two physician appointments over at the death Star or IHC medical Center. I did not have to worry too much about the apartment since they were basically follow-up appointments one with my primary caregiver and then the other with my physiatrist. I like both of my docs. Actually, my first appointment with my primary care physician was actually with his resident which is cool. He was a nice kid and pretty much let me take the lead. Sense I informed him that I had an appointment with the physiatrist later on that day and then an appointment with wound care specialties later on the week he seemed most impressed and just basically smiled at me and let me go. That's cool I figured as much. However I was going to the motions and I knew that. I had gone a year without seeing this office and I'm just trying the more proactive this next year.

I had about two and half hours to kill before my next appointment with the physiatrist. I got half a sandwich from the cafeteria than one up to the 12th floor were spent so much time a couple years ago when I had my surgery. The got this great deal upstairs on that floor where they keep tons of soft drinks, chocolate milk and regular milk. Sometimes just for the fun of it I go to the 12th floor like I own the place will straight back to dining area and grab myself the chocolate milk or two sometimes even some of the other treats in the fridge that are therefore patients and their families. I figure since I had my neck surgery there and I'm coming in there for follow-up downstairs that I'm entitled to chocolate melts forever. So far it's worked pretty good not only for chocolate milk but for coffee. I ate my lunch visiting with some guy that had been there for almost 3 months I couldn't believe that. I don't been there a couple weeks which I think was too much in many respects.

I wandered back down to my docs building cruised up to the eighth floor and checked in. I had most of my documentation which I needed and talked my way through the rest of the intake interview. I really think I have a pretty good relationship with my dark. It's strange having a doctor's almost exactly the same age as you I think I'm a couple months older than he is. He's on his way out he is partially retired practicing only one day a week at the clinic. I think I fascinate him. I think when I was in the hospital he had about written me off. I think he felt sure that I was headed to long-term care. But I worked and I worked and convinced him I could make it a home. I think he for sure thought I was headed for long-term care when I divorced. He was shocked but pleased when he found out I was living on my own with home health care. The guide truly worries about me I can tell. He was aghast at the condition of my power chair and particularly the foot pedals or the foot box as the device is called. The chair is falling apart he didn't like the way my legs are being pushed against the foot rests. He actually left the exam room got a couple of chucks came back and proceeded to take them to my foot rests to give something soft for my legs to push against. He also gave me a prescription for a chair evaluation. I don't know if it'll do any good but I'm hoping so. Today I met with my durable medical mechanic from the place that I purchased my chair and he didn't do much he did tighten one of the foot pedals so at least it wasn't totally falling down in giving my foot some support. He basically finally gave up and said “talk to your physical therapist”. At least he did not charge me the $128 per hour fee.


I'm kind of disheartened because I know trying to get this chair and any kind of shape is going to be a battle. I hope I have the stamina to pull off.

Tuesday, June 06, 2017

But In A Good Way


I'm being challenged by someone I like a great deal. She is my writing partner if I had a writing partner she would be my writing partner. She is challenging me in a good way to reach back in to my inner self/child in touch things that are loaded spooking. I'm so impressed with my friend she seems to have no qualms/problems in shiny lights in her darkest areas. In fact she as a writer and teacher of writing skills, I see, she may have a gift for doing this and bring us out of other people I don't notice when a SIREN is but if the siren is something/somebody who makes you write, want to writespace Explorer with the new self things to write and she is that. She was like that was acting when we were doing acting company together and now she has the same zeal for writing and perhaps that is good, sense we're too old infirmed to be involved in acting scenarios which require any traveling at all since neither of us any longer hold a license to drive.

I'm getting busy again yesterday I had to doctors appointments which pretty much took up my whole day today I have a training in Midtown which again is going to take up a good part of my day I don't know how much I will want to write when I get home. However if you examine parts you can see that I'm throwing up blocks to to keep me from really examining parts of my past. Lori wrote this five page doubles paced account for 12 midnight to three in the morning a couple nights ago and she did it probably one sitting earliest one block of writing time. I mean I can see real writers doing that and I question myself but I have the focus, drive and commitment. I'm afraid the answer is not. Case in point this posting that I'm writing this morning I should've written last night. I started to write this about 10 o'clock Lori popped up on my chat screen. After about an hour we finished our discussions and I went to bed. I could not commit to writing for three hours at that point especially with other commitments I had today but see there it is again an excuse – – a writer writes! I'm a convenient writer, I guess, writing only when everything meets my needs. So embarrassing to write but true

I did not sleep well last night was actually this morning, I woke up early and could not get back to sleep. Not being able to sleep, like what happened last night, I fear might be more than coincidental. Great, now my subconscious is going to hold me hostage. Or maybe it's just the fact that today I have a training that I feel a little bit insecure about which interrupted my sleep or just maybe, maybe maybe I'm building some excitement about the challenge of writing from the Darkside. So yes I'm being challenged but being challenged in the good way.




Sunday, June 04, 2017

Journals


Since I've been doing audiobooks are becoming more productive it seems a bit of a paradox but it's true. I'm finding that I can put it cd ROM and I do my computer or the radio I have over my microwave (which has a CD-ROM player inside)push the play button and then listen to books being read while I cook, washed dishes or even fold clothes. I have been trying to figure out other things I can do while the CD-ROM plays and I've come up with scanning journals I have produced over the years onto a hard drive.

As I scan each page of the Journal I am thankful I took the time to write what I did right. I am a bit heartbroken one of all the time I did not write in to of the journals I've misplaced over the years. I am even going to consider scanning and copies of old day timers which in effect our journals in and of themselves. This is going to be a long task but what more noble task and take my time in putting this material together? The nearest age-old question what am I going to do when I'm done? Are what's going to happen to these documents when I die? I plan to disseminate copies of this document (s)to my kids for sure and whoever else might want one. The materials pretty raw both in appearance and some content but that's the way life goes. Perhaps if I had another lifetime I could go through and re-type the material and maybe even rephrase some of the entries, however I have some issues with the whole concept of rewriting history i.e. Ender's Game . I have a strong suspicion a lot of folks my family really scrubbed up their histories a lot when they wrote them down. I guess I cannot blame them but I don't know how ethical that is if you're going to write your history right to history or write fiction but call it historical fiction.

As I wrote the last of that paragraph I remembered the period of time in my life that I stopped writing my daily Journal. AsI was going through a dark period. One of my marriages had just broken up and the time going up to that period had been fraught with marital discord, infringements of the law and vocational stresses are related to the marriage. The depression from all this stress became so great I could no longer write it down. I don't know if it was just too painful to write or I did not want to revisit this point in my life I do later time or because such fear of my immediate future that I couldn't write it down. Now however I wish I had. I think that time now is so interesting particularly how I survived that period of time in my life and who knows maybe something within that time could assist someone else going through similar challenges. So I wonder, even if I had a good excuse (if there is such a thing) for not writing if this is just a cop out.

I wish I had done a better job not only in writing a journal but in cataloging my journals in a safe place. I know there are complete years I have lost. This is true also from the digital format. I cannot believe how many times I have saved journals, in the old days on floppy disks and even written some to CD-ROM just to lose them one way or the other to either physically losing the medium or the medium becoming degraded to the point of non-usability. Either way I try not to think of what I've lost for just make sure I continue to write, journalized and save what I've written so far.



Saturday, June 03, 2017

Cultivating Gardens And Other Living Things


Remember a couple days ago I finally started to work on the garden space is allocated? I was a little intimidated I I must confess. But I jumped in and started the process. I got the small shovel to work the dirt and jumped in and dug up some of the dirt in my box. That was my start and that was about all that I did for a couple days. I needed to get some plants the transplant into the box. They have starts over at the True Value but there's also sort of a nursery across the street from my apartment complex. They have a lot of nice plants so I figured that would be the place I would go.

It was midmorning by the time I finally got over to the nursery. I'm still trying to figure out the operation. I think it is run by a fellow and his wife. Over the morning as I visited with the proprietor began to fill me in that he used to work at this place when he was much younger and then the guy who owned the place was diagnosed with stage III prostate cancer and basically asked the fellow to take over the operation. I sensed the owner went fast. I later found out the current owners think Eric and when I asked him when did he shut the operation down for winter he said December 26. I can hardly believe that until he explained that at the end of the growing season he ships in truckloads of pumpkins and other fall type plants and decoration plants i.e. corn stocks and the such. Then of course after Halloween and Thanksgiving he has Christmas trees. It all made sense. After Christmas he shuts down for about eight weeks all starts again in early spring. How cool is that?

Eric was super helpful and that spending about 20 bucks, I didn't realize it was that much I bought tomatoes what I thought was a a dollar and $.88 for a section of four plants and actually it was a dollar 88 times 4. I bought peppers one zucchini, four tomatoes,basil, purple Sage, parsley there is another herb I purchased but I can't remember what it was. Oh, I also got lemongrass and orange marigolds. The last group of plants I was instructed was for pest control. I knew about marigolds and tomatoes but I've never used lemongrass for insect control.

I really expected this planting expedition was going to take the rest of the morning and probably all afternoon however one of the seniors happened to see me working came out and offered to assist which was more than happy she also had some great ideas of where to place my starts. We visited a lot while she helped me and I really appreciate your input. She also shared with me where the faucet and hose and sprayer was. I had prepared myself to carry bottles of water out to the garden boxes. We finished the whole project in about an hour and I was e free for the rest of the day.

I really enjoyed meeting beginning to know my new friend Eric. It's great that he is just across the street in this little gardening Mecca. I don't know why I feel this way but I sense I'm going to be seen a great deal more of him this summer.




Friday, June 02, 2017

Looking for Bridges too Cross


Lori Brock who I written about a lot recently has encouraged me to write a lot over the years which I really have appreciated. At her recent urging are produced about 4000 words for a short story which is actually fairly accurate description of the day leading up to my accident 50 years ago. This posting is really not about Lori except that she is the one who encouraged me to write. This posting is about the 4000 words but I did write.

It's not a great piece in fact I don't think it's the best piece I have ever written what is great about this piece is that it was written and it was written by me. We recently had a “a writer's lunch” and Lori challenged everyone to bring a piece they had written to the lunch. I took this challenge seriously, because I wanted to let because I needed to. I want to be a writer! So I spent a good part of last week writing this piece. We ended up having the lunch a couple days early which caught me way surprise. So I was hustling last couple days trying to get this thing written and in some sort of presentable fashion. It was interesting because I was instantly thrown back into that attention of being in school and having to finish a paper are likely project before deadline. Everything felt like school even in the last day when is trying to get the document in some form of presentable fashion and everything seemed to be going against me. Seriously, the computer ate my piece, just like a fourth-grade excuse. Seriously I went to save my document and the document disappeared off the screen and I really cannot find it anywhere. Luckily I did have two or three copies of a very similar document spread out through my computer but to try to resurrect one of these documents and then try to make the changes I wanted to was driving me crazy.


The document had lost I had taken my initial project, and went through and actually changed the tenses. I do not edit well in fact if I had lots of money I would pay somebody to edit for me even just the basic and allowed be willing to finish but I just struggle with the editing process. I change the tenses, which means I had to change a lot of the words, some places at a few words in some places take a few words away but neither case I hovered around the 4000 word mark. I change the font to 14 which made the whole document I think a lot more readable. Then I doublespaced the project which made the document jump from seven pages to 14 a little less if I went to 1.5 versus two in the formatting of lines. Gosh then I struggled for an inordinate amount of time trying to insert page numbers! Why was this such an ordeal? May I been putting page numbers on documents for 30 or 40 years as long as I been using wordprocessors. I can't believe I couldn't do this and now I'm going to go back now that I have the time and figure it out one more time and redo the writing and then email it out to the crew. What sort of shocks me is that I'm excited about writing the next story/chapter. I don't know if I'm going to try to resurrect First Story in a Second Story World. I'm not sure if I can do it – – try to write the story again. I think the best I might be able to do is write a series of stories from that period. The document I produce sure will not be professional I'm glad try to write it. I think I can do it now as I really begin to use Dragon. I still think I'll be hung up on the editing process but that's a bridge  I am willing to cross when I get there.

Thursday, June 01, 2017

Reading Group


I had had a long day by the time I finally got to the West Jordan library at about 8000 south and 1800 something West. I was late again for the reading group. I really want to be on time this meeting because I was late last week because I diverted my trip to the post office to pick up some postcards. I really want to be on time to show the leaders of the group that I was a serious member. I don't know why I'm so worried about being late for a volunteer position. The group is doing just fine when I got there another one of the volunteers was leading the group in the second week of Treasure Island. I'm thoroughly enjoying this book and I am thoroughly enjoying being part of this group.

I had a late lunch with the writing group I am part of. I wrote about this group couple weeks ago I think when I was writing about Lori Brock. Anyway, I was contacted that the group and changed the meeting time and day of the lunch we were going to have to discuss our new writing projects. And of course today was a late lunch at 2 o'clock which meant that the latest I could go would be 3:30 PM and really I should've left at 2 o'clock. However, the conversation was so lively and entertaining I stretched it out to 3:30 PM I headed over to State Street to catch 217 southbound. I was about 15 minutes late and I felt bad but the group welcomed me and we read for the next 45 minutes.

The sky had grown more and more overcast as the afternoon went on but I didn't mind there was a warm wind blowing making my time out on the tarmac enjoyable and feeling productive. Finishing the reading group at 5 o'clock I figured I had a little time before I cut the northbound bus home. I explore the library for the first time for about an hour. I was interested in their selection of audible books specifically Stephen King's. I was a little pleased as I exited the library to feel the wind at increased significantly since I entered the clouds and darkened and I could smell moisture in the air – – somewhere it was raining. I felt pretty secure that I'd be able to get home before any significant rain happened.

When I got to the bus stop there to women waiting in the bus shelter. I set off to the side of the shelter the two women and myself ignored each other. We waited and waited and pretty soon we began to get to know each other. We had been waiting for at least a half an hour, two buses should have come and gone and there had not been any. The wind picked up the crowds grew more dark as if deluge was in the offing. Then the buses began to come at least three buses came our way but as the buses closed-end on our stop we saw that “garage” or “out of service” was flashing on their header boards (electronic sign on the front of the bus which shows the bus route that particular vehicle is dedicated. I had been waiting about 45 minutes in the made numerous calls the transit authority to see what was the problem. This seems to been a number of significant accidents on the route which I guess was the reason for the late buses – – which really doesn't say anything about why we were passed by three buses – –. We were now at least out of the elements and heading north. We figured we were going to be sharing the bus a lot of folks sense they were downstream and had been waiting for the bus just as long as we had. We got about three stops before a woman in a service workers uniform of a major fast food chain got on the bus with her cell phone pressed against her ear and she was angry. I don't blame her for being angry, the three of us who got on together could have been angry but we knew and didn't do any good we're just glad to ride. But this customer with the cell phone on earlier was screaming and yelling at customer support and was also making disparaging remarks towards the bus driver as Ms. Fast food got on. The driver made some innocuous remarks which the lady on the cell phone took as direct threats and they were not. The driver tried to close the argument and get on driving but the cell phone lady was yelling at her so significantly I began to get a little edgy action. Finally the driver throughout the bus or tried to. We'd gotten a couple blocks when the driver decided to have the unruly customer removed from the bus which meant the driver would have to park the bus until UTA cops arrived to remove the customer. We were close enough I could actually roll to the apartments from there. I asked to be downloaded breaking in between the verbal battle between the driver and the customer. The customer finally got upset to the point she got the bus and started walking. One of my fellow passengers took off the tiedowns but by then with the lady gone I decided to stay on board.

I finally got home, the rain never really started, and I finished my workout regimen but I missed my radio shows. It's been a long day. I really wished I had had the presence of mind to have recorded the incident between the driver and passenger on my cell phone I did not but that would've been great footage – – maybe next time.


Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Garden Hoe!


It's finally hot I mean really hot flirtations with 90s which is great. The ground itself is finally warming which means it's time to plant something. When I moved here, to the apartments, in October I was a little concerned about plants and garden stuff. To be honest I thought I had pretty much just my type of gardening goodbye which was sad but I had a place to live. Now many months later, through a dark cold winter behold there is sunshine, very warm temperatures and you know what there is a garden spot here at the apartments!

Early on in one of the coffee socials that we have every Thursday morning I brought up the notion of wasn't possible to have a place to garden. The answer was yes but seemed like there was some politicking going on. I kind of put everything out of my mind until this week and I realized that spaces in the two garden boxes were being staked out like claims. I decided I would wait and see if all the spaces were taken. Spend a couple weeks so yesterday morning I stopped in and asked Jennifer about the garden spaces and she said that she and figured everyone who wanted a space had applied. It looks like only about three or four people took advantage of the opportunity. The best part was there seem to be lots of space left so I stuck my claim.

I have to admit I'm kind of excited. I realize I don't have really any gardening tools but that's okay I went across the street to the polygamist hardware store and purchased a small hand shovel. I came back in turned over little dirt I think the hand shovel work just fine. Now I have to find some plants that look like there hoping for a new home. There's a small nursery directly across the street from my apartment, there is also plants for sale at polygamist hardware. The problem with the nursery is the really good plants looks to me like there in the back which I really can't get to very easily but I might give it a shot.


When I was out by the planting space this afternoon will will the other apartment dwellers came by and said “Oh, I guess some of the folks couldn't wait to jump the gun” meaning she thought there had not been permission given to start the garden process – – which is not true. My neighbor quickly told me that she wasn't interested in doing any garden this year because last year was such a trauma. Some people getting preferential treatment over others, some people started the project but abandoning their growths in the middle of summer. I kind of tuned her out but started thinking wow did I get myself involved in a political hot potato? Oh well. I'm going to dig, plant and coax my plants to grow and hope for the best with everything else.

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Wound Care?



Last night Honey, my home health staff, examined my bottom when she got me up in the sling and reported, as I had feared that I developed the world am I right hip. It's not that I've been in major pain but I could tell something was happening over there. Friday, which was the last night that I saw Honey we putOptik tape on my butt which usually provides enough protection that if I am having pressure issues the tape will act as a second skin. Not so this time. She indicated that a wounded broken through and there was blood not a good sign.

I fretted over the new wound all night and this morning decided I would head over to the Inter-Mountain Health Care campus and just crash my doctors office. I know that if I called they would just tell me I would have to wait for horrendously long time and really not engage. I did not have my weekly Assist meeting but I had to go into the library anyway to return my book and pick up a new volume. I decided I would stop on the way back. My batteries were lower than usual I knew this, something happened last night when I plugged them to charge my batteries before I spoke to bed and they only gave me a partial charge. This vexes me if not concerns me greatly. So anyway I knew I had to be careful on what I chose to do this morning.

When I got to the hospital/campus I noted that my charge indicator said I still had just about half a battery electric tell the charge was eroding quickly. It took me a bit of searching but I finally found my primary physician's office which then led me to my neural care. While I was at my primary care docs desk I had them schedule appointment for me next week since I found I hadn't seen him for over a year. The neural care folks got me in to their clinic also next week which worries me a lot. My previous experience with wound care at the University of Utah was when I presented with a,wound or even just a reddening of the skin wound care would always take me immediately. Not so at I H C . Big Nurse informed me that this is a clinic and you have to set appointments. I tried to press the point that my wound currently is small and the do not want it in the larger, the scheduler agreed but held her ground. The best they could do was next Thursday at 9:50 AM. Of course, I'm scared to death this mean is going to blossom into a major infested wound by then. They didn't seem too concerned. So maybe I will no be concerned either. I'll just have to watch the wound and any progress it might make as well as really go out of my way to keep weight off my butt. The scheduler did however agreed to let me call if the wound gets worse and hopefully the position would be able to get me in sooner.


This kind of wound maintenance is not how I want to run my life. I really am trying to be proactive here I just wish they could help me be proactive there.