Sunday, August 20, 2017

To eat or not to eat…

I did it! A couple weeks ago I was seriously looking for righteous watermelons. I have learned the only place I can find righteous melon is that the Murray Park farmers market. Again, if you search my blog you will see probably numerous comments regarding the Dragon Lady and green something watermelons. I had been over to the park and I was a little bit early for the farmers market which was to begin the following week. Across from the farmers market is the Murray Costco. In other months and years Dianne and I had memberships to Costco or more specifically we shared a membership and Dianne pretty much did the shopping which is okay by me. I had a difficult time being that facility just because the proportion size of items at this place is so huge and to see the products stack from floor to ceiling in this warehouse is just appalling and seems what people are purchasing in the quantity in which they are purchasing just totally depressed me. However, on this day I rolled into Costco and once again overwhelmed at the quantity of the delicious offerings this place made available to people like me. Then it hit me I am quite these people and I could be one of them. Often, I would sit through Costco and look at but it never purchased because it was not a member. That changed.

I am now card-carrying, photo ID member of Costco. I have not yet purchased anything. It's funny after I purchased my memberships I felt like I was coming home. I rolled around looking at everything and thinking to myself “I can buy you, I can buy you or I could buy you” what a rush.

This morning I was over at the market across the street from my apartment complex. I specifically went over to purchase a loaf of light the bread– – Brand that consists of 60 cal per slice. I was gunning for 45 cal per slice but I couldn't find it.. This loaf is mostly air but the loaf fools me into thinking I can still eat to lose weight. This loaf of “bread” also makes me think I'm eating food.While I was roaming the aisles of the market I ran into my neighbor across the hall was also shopping and we had quite a discussion about shopping and food that we could eat or Should eat are two different things. My neighbor is still ambulatory however she also has a pretty bad heart possible kidneys which are failing and who knows what else. She's going in for another major operation in a week or so but today she was shopping for food to get her byUntil she has her surgery. She was bummed out at the cost of everything And what she currently could not eat. I thought about offering sharing meals with her but I did not bring that up because want to go down that path you could be cooking all time.I did suggest we should combine our resources And shop at Costco. She agreed but the conversation went no further perhaps it's best. But I still am concerned for many of the residents of this apartment complex about being able to eat what they want to eat when they want to eat and having everything the affordable.

Interestingly I wonder if Shakespeare were to write his play today with poor Hamlet the saying “To eat or not to eat… That is the question”

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Washington In September?

Barbara Toomer called me a couple days ago I saw on my cell phone and she actually left a message. Barbara wanted to know if I was going to be participating in the Washington DC action which is coming up the latter part of September. But I heard this inquiry I sort of chuckled to myself trying to envision me in Washington DC on a national strike. I almost immediately shrugged off the vision I had as non-doable. It seemed I had a handful of excuses which would prohibit my involvement in this action. However I must admit the thought is somewhat intoxicating to be in DC again, in the fall going up against the federal police. I had other things on my mind and quickly the thought and request vacated my brain.

Today was not much of the exciting day. I messed around the apartment for a bit. I got to bed way late and did not even get up to about 8 o'clock. I rented two movies Yesterday. I was going to watch them yesterday afternoon or evening but Lori Brock texted me and wanted to get together. Lori sounded a little insistent So I figured why not? Did now have a whole lot else going on Friday night except the rented videos.

By the time I got back from the bus stop where I was waiting with Lori for her bus to go home the time was nearly 10 o'clock. I watched one of the movies anyway which by the time the movie was completed and I got to bed it was nearly 2 o'clock in the morning! I felt drugged out this morning. I felt I was moving in slow motion. However I did manage some breakfast and got over to the markets to drop off of the videos – – I watched the second movie this morning. I had planned to go over to a wood pallet To pick up a few pieces of what delighted used to brace of my tomatoes. I was amazed at how little running around I did this morning and had been treated by battery was. I got what I needed and return home it is when my phone rang or vibrated. It showed a local number but no name. That's even warning about for me not to take the call but I did anyway and was mildly surprised to find it was Barbara Toomer following up on her phone call earlier in the week. Happily she did not bring up the obvious snub that I did not return her call but she was following up just the same as I going to Washington?

After some minor chitchat we got down to the bone to the call and I just told her I didn't see how I could go without attendant care to not only assist me in toileting but to get in and out bed or whatever. I was a bit let downpretty much left that response go and suggested that I consider the May action instead. I should try to get all my ducks in a row by them. And I mildly surprised by some even further by asking her to follow-up on a comment she made to find out how much It would cost or what was available for home healthcare in the DC area, but I might go if something was reasonable. Then I realized that would go if something was available and reasonable. I don't know how I would get in and out of bed or how I would toilet myself but maybe we can work something out. Can't believe I'm thinking like this but who knows a trip to Washington DC and all it might be fun.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Waiten For Dave

Currently Thursdays are busy for me. I have the weekly Coffee Social followed later in the day with the reading group out in South Jordan library. Both events sadly, to some degree, are the high points of my week. So much so that I think I have a difficult time sleeping Wednesday night with anticipation of these events. Today I was even more blessed with a busy Thursday when I was called by my old friend and boss Dave who was passing through the state going up to visit family and home stomping grounds Blackfoot Idaho. David's timing was perfect. I have this huge break from the end of the coffee social to When I have to travel south to South Jordan in the library. Truth be told, I did have a difficult time sleeping or should I say going back to sleep after I woke this morning around 4 AM. I just have to used to the idea that I need to stay up later so I sleep tonight. In truth I was going to actually think about laying down for an hour to before the event at the library but of course that was not to be Dave's coming to town.

It was great seeing Dave looked good. I thought they looked much better than last time I saw him. He was up and had color the cloud of depression that seemed to hover over him last visit was gone which gave me hope. I'm still so impressed that he'd been to Europe since last we spoke specifically France specifically Paris. That would be a great trip. And Paris was a great trip for David. Dave of course showed me the number of images Taken during the trip it was great especially the Eiffel Tower. I Have never really thought about Paris except the last couple years watching the Bourne movie offerings were much of the film was taken in Paris or Berlin. And then with Dave going to Europe makes me think That if you're If ever given the opportunity I would do Paris.

Now bear in mind one of the other things I had planned to do After coffee social was to charge the battery on my power chair for an hour or so to make sure I had ample power to make the trip to South Jordan. I believe I lamented in the past recently that my batteries do not seem to keep their charge as they once did which irritates me to no end but I guess I've had these cores go to in here for now Over two years and maybe it's time to consider new batteries. Casey my occupational therapist and I planned this if we get authorization to do the rehabilitation to my power chair. So now I'm doomed to carry my battery charger why the chains of Scrooge. This is okay I have carried the charger before.

By the time I got to the library I was showing less than half the charge but that it was still short green in it. But by the time the read a long started The battery got yellow and that's a good sign. We finished the days reading and I headed out straightforward the bus stop. The battery was still somewhat visible but still short yellow by the time I got the bus stop. Fortunately, this is Route 217 headed north wind starts immediately in front of my backdoor almost just a matter of going to the gate and even if the battery went to red I would have more than enough juice to make it to the apartment– –Which I did the very social yellow. It was nearly 4 o'clock time for my daily work out on Saratoga Silver. I work out for an hour and a plug-in as soon as I got to the Saratoga pretty much the end of a pretty great day. This so good to see a friend it was so good to see David.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017


I don't order a lot of fried food anymore just because I'm trying to lose weight and a hamburger is not good way to lose weight. I love a good hamburger either log McDonald's hamburgers not the big Fat multi-Patty,goopy monstrosities but McDonald's entry-level burger which used to cost $.15 now costs almost a dollar. But I wish burger Fast food joints would do with me to serve the entrée with just a handful of fries. So many times when I order my burger and and asked if I want to help out with fries or onion rings I would love to say yeah sure. The price is not to prevent me from ordering these carbohydrate wonders taste and little nourishment It seems the fried delicacy is served In the bushel basket size portion. It's not even like he can take the quarter fries home with you need later because everyone knows cold fries can be reheated and just does not cut it once the cold and old.

Once or twice when I've gone to pick my order up at the window I've been blessed with somebody who had dropped a couple fries off their order when they picked it up and had not been cleaned up from the counter. These 2or 3 Fries just enough To complement the better. I even asked the server if she could just throw in a couple fries She just smiles at me like I have a deficiency of some sort. After all there in the business to sell food and lots of it. I just want to taste that's all.

Yesterday I was downtown for my regular Assist meeting and I have to go to Fourth South to catch the red line home. In doing so I had to pass the Apollo burger Joint downtown. They make great burgers, flame broiled in the bigger than what I need but I figured what the heck. I went in wrestled with the size of the burger, 1/3 pound and took in the aroma of everyone's food. I even asked the person taking my order if they made a smaller burger she smiled and shook her head no. I was going to have to order one of the big guys and I did. I ordered the mushroom burger. I really wanted to order the pastrami burger but I did not dare not that would have made a whole lot of difference in the end. I just cannot bring myself to order that much enjoyment. The girl smiled at me And I asked, “is that all Sir?” Would you like onions or fries to go with your order? I smiled forlornly in saying no and take my number to the table.

I'm looking for a table When I noticed a half filled drink and what's left of it order of the table next to the table I was considering. On the tray with the half a drink was the usual waded up napkins covering what was left out the meal and to the side was the cardboard container  fries camewere five or six residuals resting in the container, and I have a convoluted idea , If George Costanza can retrieve a half a doughnut from the dumpster I can certainly grab these couple of tries from the table and I did it. I looked around no one was paying attention and I reached over and snatched the french fries. It was perfect, it was exactly what I wanted just a taste of fries.

I don't know if I ever plan to do this again – – snatch some dead fries but I tell you what I am certainly going to consider the possibility if I'm given the opportunity again. It's the only way to fry.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

A Cold Wind Blows…

Now I love a summer storm. I've written about summer storms in my affection for them and even included link to a great piece of music in the past about summer storms. But this week we've been having some summer storms which are kind of odd for this time of year. Usually we get a few storms in the afternoon but usually it's hot and dry the very kind of days that the “dog days of summer” are so named. However, the storms that came in the all kinds of moisture/water on the area which is not a problem, which is actually kind of nice but whatever brought in the storms also brought in lower temperatures. Though I did not freeze last night with my window open, after a storm came through, I was cold and and I feel cold. I didn't sleep well tonight woke up this morning around 3 AM and never got back to sleep. It felt good to be wrapped up against the early morning chill. This early-morning chill is new and I think odd. This is a definite change in the weather and with the weather looks the temperature is going to be cooler For the remainder of the week. We'll be lucky if the mercury climbs inside.

Of course I have to deal with everybody from the old ladies. Apartment complex to bus drivers would have to comment on how great it is to have cool weather this really in August. Whenever the bus driver say that it hit me that this is late September whether that we are having it makes me wonder if we are in for a brutal winter.. A brutal winter would not surprise me. I hate like hell to say goodbye to summer but it feels as of summer is gone. What good whether we get from here on out will be like crumbs from the cake when  the cake is gone. 

i almost wished I had either worn a long sleeved shirt Or had my hoody wrapped around my neck this morning ,the morning was so chilly. I got up at the early this morning to make sure I caught an early bus going further south on Redwood Road. Yesterday when making an appointment for the podiatrist, the scheduler got me an appointment this morning at 7:45 AM! So I got up around 6 AM and felt great, except for the lack of sleep, I felt like the old days when I got up early every morning to go into work. Actually, by appointment was for 8:15 AM but I wanted to be sure to be at the office earlier than 15 minutes before my appointment so I can check them and since this was my first time I had to go through all that rigmarole of filling out paperwork. I bet it took the podiatrist less than 15 minutes to cut and  my toes or toenails the toes had grown to to be monstrous. The reason I went to this podiatrist was because one of my neighbors gave me his card and said he is really good. Essentially, the folks here at Plymouth View are sick and tired A look at my feet since I don't wear shoes in the summer.

I cannot believe how adult I felt after I finished. He even answered questions I had regarding worries I have about my feet specially dark spots on the sides which he said is basically normal. He said everything about my feet were normal for my age and situation. Was not really sure what that meant that sounded good to me. I have meetings today with their my usual Tuesday morning rituals. Getting up early and getting out the door as well as important today. For a split second I felt the rush of early-morning productivity which I really missed.

Monday, August 14, 2017

Floor Art

Sometimes I get a little bit overwhelmed. I hate to admit to such distress that is true. Lately I have been getting those feelings of Being overwhelmed in regard to my apartment. The cleanliness and order my apartment gets out of control. I wish I were better and I wish the apartment itself was laid out better for a person with a disability – – even though it is supposed to be for a person in a wheelchair. I am not naïve enough to really believe that this unit was speced out for a person in a wheelchair specifically. I mean generally it basically is accessible but when you get into fine points of living in a wheelchair in this unit the place leaves a bit to be desired. One of the main issues I struggle with daily is there just is not any counterspace. The coverage is so low that anything with any altitude all that are height can't get out of the cupboards so they are at the front of my encounters. Of course the microwave takes up a whole 18 inches at least on one side of the sink in the coffee maker takes up a good 8 inches on the other side and then there's my little oven that's next to my refrigerator. In between that is the electric range and so the really isn't much room left to put things like the copy and the sweetener and such so I end up dropping stuff.

The image I have chosen today is some artwork and done on the floor of my kitchen. Yesterday's edition was a half a cup of coffee that left out of the cup when I was trying to pour a cup last evening. I've been over the side of my chair to look where the coffee had landed (much like the old guy seen from 2001 when he drops the coffee cup on the tile floor in the last scenes of the movie”) and was enamored by the size of the splash and design of the splash. It was only then I noticed there are some other artistic events going on the floor meaning that I need to spend some time with them on soon with a mop and bucket of hot water.

I have to a degree some form of chaos going all over the apartment. I have paper chaos on my desk as well as my computer work surface. I recently went through all my files to find some purchases I have made this last year. Which means I have to pull all the files out of my little file keeper and The file folders are still all over my desk's. That's just a matter of picking up and putting folders back in the container. The point being I just have to do it.

I do not know about just giving up the chaos or I'm just getting myself exhausted during the day and then the task seems greater than it is. Sometimes I feel I am overthinking the issue I should just pull up my pants stop boobing clean up the damn apartment.

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Just Charge It

I have spent the day trying to see if I can get the charger for my Arjo Maximove patient left operational. Sometime last week I had taken the battery out of my left but in the charger so I'll be ready for my home help people and accidentally pushed the charger from the chair to the floor. The floors are in the drop is less than what but something happened and the lights on the charger went out. This kind of freaked me out but as trying to gather some information for my manager here at the apartments as well as trying to redirect my direct deposits but I sort of the Anjo charger on the back burner. Well, not altogether true because the day after I dropped the charger I found another eBay and ordered the charger which is still to be here the 21st which is still a week away.

The week went by and soon I was feeling the pressure but should be doing something regarding the maximum. I finally ordered Jimmy The Fixit guy here at departments. I kept missing and finally to their remarkable and grabbed him. He came in and we were done nothing for about an hour. I was hoping that it should be simple but once we got into the charger a loose wire or connection. When we first got the maxi-mov there's was a of cable and the plug that was fiercely wrapped with black electricians Choose tape. Jimmy aggressively undertake and found some questionable connections. He knew what he was doing, he quickly cut wires, exposed wire wrap around otherwise and then All. It Looked like He was in Command and he was.It look like a professional job. He pushed the plug into the wall and nothing. Jimmy's scratched his head then his beard. Jimmy had other things to do today and I'll just leave he spent time with me he did. I have not seen Mark for some days so, I put a text into Mark to see if he was coming this way today. He was.

I am so pleased with Mark Anthony, he does everything I cannot do – – I suspect even if I was able-bodied but would not be able to do the things he is able to do. I think it's from his mother's side that he has this get things done attitude and does it. Since the wire in a plot seemed to be okay we went into the charger itself. I really thought that once we open the charger there just be a wire dangling there and be a matter of soldering it back home. But no that was not the case. There is all kinds of stuff diodes and transistors and all kinds of things electrical. Way out of my league. Mark was not daunted however. Mark pulled out his voltage meterAnd began touching all the ends of the wires and getting readings. I was impressed as always. We worked on this project for at least an hour maybe longer. We had the success. Unless it is something like a blown fuse to be very simple to fix we can figure out why the car was not going from the blog to the battery charger to the battery. I finally Turned Mark loose.

I figure I have two days that I have to use the left before the eBay charger gets hhere. It's not like we use a lot of energy when we use the left just like a30 second burst to get me from the chair to the commode and then the commode back to my chair that's it. I may have a lot of days left but I don't want to push it. I just want to get showered is that too much to ask?

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Quick Drain Pain

No automatic alt text available.
I woke up this mornin a bit discouraged. When I've gone to bed felt a wound on the left buttocks. Every night after I will some kind of oxide cream, but, both cheeks. I'm totally convinced his practices reduced incidence of skin breakdown On my rear end. I don't know if it's just keeping the skin moisturized or what but I know I felt better since I started using this lotion. In fact upon rising in transferring into my chair but in the field pain on my rear that I felt on going to bed. This not feeling the pain makes believe the wound has healed At least to the point I can carry out my daily activities which I did.

It's Saturday morning and there's a farmers market in Murray and I promised myself couple weeks now that I was going to go to the market. I really want a decent watermelon. I've had a couple this year from the market which really deficient in flavor. There is this one corner of the Murray farmers market that is inhabited by the Dragon Lady. I'm sure) the years of this blog. And sure enough she and her crew were there again this year. They sell and not call Green River and they are the best melons I believeI have ever tasted and they seem to be consistently good.

Granted, by the time I got to Murray Park and the farmers market all the smaller melons were gone. Seriously, what was left – – there were a great many melons left – – huge round beautiful fruits. Even if I could have somehow got the melon onto my lap or backpack I would not have been able to get it home on public transit. The next issue was she was charging $.40 a pound! I actually saw her way the watermelon which I think came out to 30 pounds! I did the math quickly in my head I think that would've been $12 for watermelon?! When I pointed this out to the individual purchasing the melon the Dragon Lady indicated they work a deal and knock a little off the price. I doubt that she wouldn't let that melon go for less than 10 bucks. I ended up purchasing a couple of small green globes that she guaranteed me they were sweet we shall see. These guys are a lot easier to carry it for sure. I got a couple other vegetables tomatoes cucumbers green peppers. They were not especially deals except for purchased at the farmers market. However, I was ready to go home but I was also a little worried. I had only gone to the bus stop and from the bus stop to the 200 bus and then off in front of Murray park. It seemed to me the battery was draining quickly. I was down the half battery still have a fair distance to go.

I stopped in at Best Buy and use the bathroom that one of the hill and across the street and wait for the 200 in front of Costco.But the time it got to the train station and battery indicators and yellow and from experience I found was on yellow goes to read really quickly. Rather than taking a 47 I decided to take the 54. Route 54 would me off at Redwood Road 5400 S. once I got the bus stop I could sit there until the bus came which would take me right to the beginning of the apartment complex. It would be safer than trying to push my chair or battery from the graveyard to the apartments.I caught the 54 dropping me off directly by the apartments and got home safe and sound I was so relieved. So now I have to deal with a quick draining battery on top of everything else.

Friday, August 11, 2017


I really would like to write these posts in the morning, soon after rising, but in fact I have been just too busy. I know that sounds pretty presumptuous but it's been true the last week or so and it looks like it's going to be this way for some time to come. Yesterday I did URS as the blog states. Today, was kind of more of the same. It seems I can only do one major item a day particularly if have to do that in person. Most of my day is spent in waiting and travel time and that's cool what else may going to do?

I really want to be able to do this over the phone Using“MySSA or something like that. Of course when you go to the website you don't get a human being you get some just the program with the voice that sort of auction through the system if you have a username and password, which I do and then I don't. I do not remember but at one time I have made contact with Social Security Administration and set myself up with a password and a username. But for the life of the air cannot remember it now, the system does but the system is not going to tell me. I tried and I tried to get a human being who could actually help me through the cyber maze or to get the system to send me an encrypted message with what I need to do to get into My Social Security. The system kind of sets up your account and will actually send you what you need to set up a new password and username but it's not a quick email to your email account it's a hard copy letter that will be mailed to you the next 5 to 10 days and if you're sweating bullets trying to get into your system right now and you've triggered this whole name replacement sequence You don't have time to wait days for snail mail to crawl into your mailbox. You need to get going now. So with my frustration level high because if I don't get this done by the 15th the federal government's ability to dump money into my checking account will be moved back one month. And I really want to get my SSA funding and my state funding synced and I want to have them to begin doing this as of September's payment. I figure the only way I was going to bring this about was to go in to SSA and look pathetic enough they will do what it takes to get rid of me.

I of course went to and dutifully put in my ending point AND starting point and hit return. The Internet then barfed up aSolution which was almost an anti-solution. I would actually have to go to the IHC station And take the big train ( Front Runner) get off at the next stop then roll to SSA.

I do not fear not Being able to find this building, I do really poorly at directions and following them. I don't have faith The Person or thing Who put the directions together. What I truly fear is not having enough power in my chair to do all I needed to do. But today I have the power and the well. Today I did exactly what the printed document I had my consent to do and soon I was at SSA. I went and got a number and waited and waited. This is okay you expected to wait At Social Security.There's a whole room waiting and I was no better than anyone Of them. I started getting little uneasy however when I started seeing people arrived after me being served and leaving. But in the process you have to fill out information on a computer when you get there and somehow it assigned due to whoever assists you.

You can imagine chagrin when I was finally called and found myself in a room with my agent, who was totally blind. She had a sister device in the form of a woman. Again I'm not saying that one person couldn't do my case I was just saying I sure want to make sure that my payments got deposited to the right place. But some I have full faith in my blind SSA agent. Not only did she Redirect my direct deposit to my checking account but she also started me on the process to access my My account. It was a great experience—granted a little long but I got what I needed done.

So today was a good day, and today ended a good week. I got two of the major issues which it is freaking me out. Next week begins a whole new challenge.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Just And other Day

Today I had success.I took the document that I had filled out for Utah Retirement Services,, URS and hand-delivered the document to URS in downtown Salt Lake. I did not have to do this. I could've dropped the signed document in the mail and possibly and probably the document would've gotten to URS by the 15th which is the dropdead date for the next month..

I have been under a great deal of stress this week trying to get this project done, the project of redirecting my direct deposit from our shared account to our individual accounts. We continued to deposit money to the shared account for repair work done on the house and other health-related things we had to keep going or have to keep going until we sell. Well, we now have enough in the account to cover what we needed to have done and there is no longer need to have any more funds deposited. This will be good for me. I have been using my savings to live on for the past eight or nine months and I was beginning to get nervous. So now that I'm changing the direct deposit should be okay knock on wood. Actually the state of Utah retirement was much more simple than I had anticipated. Still I hand-delivered just because I did not want to leave such an important decision to the whims of the postal service– – Not that I don't believe in them it's just I don't believe in them enough to risk something like this. So at least I have that base covered now it's on to SSA which I think is a whole different ballgame.Doing battle with SSA is like moving up to the majors. They're are national Their People are professionals in messing you up or your case. I just want to be able to go online and make the changes to my direct deposit. That should not be so hard but if I can't even get someone to answer the phone to let them know that I cannot get online I've lost before I've even began the project. But if I go to sleep now and get a good nights sleep tomorrow I'll go at it again and maybe have some positive outcomes.

Today was a lost day with coffee social this morning and then URS and bookclub this afternoon it was well after five when I finally dragged into the apartments. I worked out the best I could, visited with somebody who dropped by and dropped off some flashlights and then try to write my blog. The best part of the evening was a surprise texting from Dianne. It was good to hear from her even though painful in many ways as she continues to heal from her recent operations really bad ones. I wish I could quit my fingers and she would be instantly better I wish that's how things worked but they don't. I wish her the best in her rehabilitation and her ongoing life.So I have just a few more things to do before our role in the bed and call it a day

Wednesday, August 09, 2017

Going Crazy

I swear I'm going crazy. I believe we spoke about the things I need to be doing, that I have to be doing in order to continue with my lifestyle. One is to redirect my direct deposit from my shared account with my ex-wife Dianne are joint account to my Checking account.. That means I have to work with Utah State retirement which I talked about in yesterday's blog as well as going up against SSA,, an organization that is so huge that you don't even have to coded in the year wordprocessor, wordprocessor knows to do all the caps for Social Security Administration. This afternoon I was on hold for SSA for 53 minutes waiting for the “Agent” to get online and help me. After incalculable prompts for different programs that Social Security administrates and also incalculable apologies that a computerized voice made about how sorry it was that I had to wait so long interspersed with poor music only to have at the end and agent named Hug (I swear he is making believe he could not hear me) eventually hang up on me because I did not respond. The whole time I was screaming for Hugo to pick up yes I'm here, don't hang up, don't hang up I'm really really here but in the end, you know it Hugo, hung up on me. By that point in time as “about my phone time or battery time and I had to make a call to my home health person to rectify some major problems on this months bill. I'm still kind of amazed at how well I took the hangup. A short my shoulders and almost called back, actually I did call back. The first time I called they gave me the option of choosing the option to have the computer, you back in about an hour. I should've taken that instead of hanging online for 53 minutes. I had the bright idea that I would choose to have the computer call me when it was ready. Then I could put the phone on the charger And get my device back into the safe zone. Of course that didn't happen they just shoved me into the wait mode And I could not handle that so of course now I'm going to have it on my agenda for Thursday or Friday. Again am under the pressure to have this done by the 15th of the month so I will start getting direct deposit to my checking account. The worst case is that this is not happen in a timely manner and my Social Security while go back to the joint account and messy as it might be then I would secure the funding back then. I still have enough in the lump sum I've been operating off of since October to allow me to pull this off – – I know I can do this.

On this months bill from my home health provider there were two major discrepancies. I was charged for services that weren't really rendered because of the inexperience of the home health provider they sent out – – because my regular person was ill. That was one hour at $23 an hour the second was I was charged for an hour that didn't transpire. Because of the Utah holiday 24th of July which I was slated to get my home health night that night but would cost me holiday pay. I elected to have my shower and toileting done the day before. For some reason I was charged two h.ours when I should have been charged for one. In fact rarely do I use a whole hour of the providers time. I was a little worried about having to be assertive and demand my right and not pay this 46 bucks. I was going to try to make my stand but in the back my mind realize I would probably lose but to my surprise and enlightenment, Joe the owner of the company (who really is a nice guy) really worked with me and we negotiated those two hours away. I was totally delighted.

I received my change of direct deposit today from URS. I filled out the document, called make sure I had the document filled out right And decided that I would go downtown anyway tomorrow and drop the document offSpace in person. And I wrestled with the owner of the home healthcare provider and survived and got my needs met. This is just enough to keep me going and hopefully get a lot more these pressure points eradicated.

Tuesday, August 08, 2017

Like Grease Through A Duck

I did housing in this town for more than 20 years, actually in some sense I'm still doing housing. I did HUD housing Or Federal low-income housing which most people with disabilities are qualified.So technically I knew the rules and qualifications. tthe rationale and need Never really sunk in and made sense until now. Now that I'm living in HUD subsidized housing.

The manager here, Jennifer, announced a couple weeks ago that we were going into the season of re-authorization. I did not pay much attention to the whole concept until earlier last week when she pulled me aside and said she needed all my medical expenses to see how low/high direct would be for the next year. On top of that I also got a notification that the joint account I still share with Dianne needs to be adjusted. We need to cancel the direct deposit status and redirect those monthly funds and our own checking accounts. So all these requests need attention and some sooner than others. So I'm stressing over acquiring this information and get that data to the right sources. It's driving me crazy it's like term papers are due, monthly reports, year-end reports all rolled into one. I hate it. But I'm focused on trying to focus to get the job done. Luckily this morning I had a gift of time when my friend and associate David From Assessed Incorporated called to let me know that today's advisory board has been canceled.

All weekend I've been working on accumulating the medical expenses and trying to arrange those expenses in some sort of readable format which makes sense. However when it presented this to the manager, Jennifer, this morning she needed more information. She needed the records of the people I present money to medically speaking to afford me their printouts of billing and paid accounts. I wish I had known this earlier. However, Jennifer assures me I have time to gather this information. She just desperate for this year's award letter from my pension people. I was able to get that information sent out to me. I was also able to get that documentation I will need to redirect my direct deposit information. If I can't do this by the 15th of this month direct deposit should begin with Septembers payout.The State pension folks at sample forms out to me to fill out that I need to send back to them for them to make the changes. I intend to get the paperwork filled out and then hand carried the document to their office. Now I have to do the same with my Social Security which I anticipate to be a lot more work. But we'll see maybe the redirection of my federal money well just slide through like grease through a duck.

I'm hoping by September 15 I can look back on this time and wonder why I stressed out to the level I did. And move on to the next challenge of my post divorce life.

Monday, August 07, 2017

Waiting Always Waiting

Today is turning out to be one of those days. I was contacted early on my usual night staff – – who is just perfect– – and she is again ill and will not be able to provide the services tonight. Honey my regular staff is just perfect we get along great together. So when she notifies me that she is ill I begin to get nervous. Today she called I immediately called service and and over problems I had last time Honey was sick. I reiterated, slowly and as clearly as I could to the person on the phone exactly what I needed and skills that would be necessary. She ended up giving me the name I was not familiar with which spooked me.I texted Honey, to reassure this new person could do the job. I'm sitting here nude waiting for this person is now almost an hour and a half late and once again I am beginning to worry.

In the meantime the result of drama going on. I was called soon after Honey called by the ramrod of the local private nonprofit direct action group that I've been working with for the last year, DRAC. DRAC is beginning to frustrate the past couple of months. See the last couple of blog posts. It seems we have it one meeting after another and that's not necessarily bad. It's what she wrote to the meetings with no one else there that my frustration grows. So I was not all that happy to hear another meeting today especially when I had so much other nonsense on my plate to deal with. I'm having to go through my records and pull out all my medical expenses I have incurred by a living at the apartments. I also have secure al document from the state retirement system authenticating my award of income. I also have to contact state retirement systems as well as Social Security to have payments redirected from one account to another, direct deposit. These tasks seem so minimal or minor but have just mushroomed out of control.I can sensibly make these changes online but cannot because I'm locked out of my accounts because I have forgotten passwords and usernames. When I go online to get customer supportI find myself in the telephone wasteland of “Hold” waiting forever with that music. I was actually hoping I could stop by the retirement system offices and do everything a person to make sure it was done right I went to the meeting and when the meeting was finished I realized I didn't have enough time to go to retirement systems and get home in time for my night staff. So I came on home as quick as I could. I was hoping to get some phone time in which the government offices before staff got here but by the time I called the state everyone got home and all I got the answering machine.

So here I sit blogging in the nude as my evening continues to evaporate, I will not be able to work out as planned listening to my favorite radio programs. So this has turned out to be one of those days. On the good side i found a lamp on the sharing shelf this morning so maybe the dar wan't so bad after all..  

Sunday, August 06, 2017

Blanket Page

There's nothing more intimidating to a writer than a blank piece of paper – – there I go again calling Myself a writer. But look!This is no longer a blank page, this page has something written on it I'm writing! I'm really really writing. Is that the mark of a writer being able just to fill up space? Maybe so. I have to confess that I looked at this blank page for a good while before I started writing this bit of nothingness. Before that had spent about an hour up front in the lobby of the apartment complex I live in watching drama across the street from our building. There is no less than seven police cars and an emergency vehicle parked in the cluster and about 20 uniforms milling about. Two individuals were handcuffed sitting on the curb and this seemed a lot of nothing going on.

An hour before this happened I had gone across the street to the market. Had rented two red box movies last night and I needed to get them back to the red mothership that lives in my market.Of course as soon as I got the market I forgot all about the red box movies and got an item or two which I had forgotten last night and forgot to download the movies. So of course I get home and get to work then in a blinding flash realized I had not returned the red box movies. So I grab my backpack once again and take off for the market. When I get back I come through the lobby of my complex and there seems to be a gathering of people at the window of the front door. Out across the parking area seems to be half the police department of Taylorsville. Seven vehicles some of lights flashing some doors open and lots of officers milling about. And yes with two suspects down. Great drama for a Sunday afternoon. What is extra sad is that one of the suspects belongs to one of the residents in our apartment. I doubt this will have any significant impact on this lady but I'm sure the lady will feel self-conscious knowing that department knows that something happened across the street and it involved her offspring. Whereas with the gaggle of residents nobody knew for sure what it happened except for the suspect in the blue T-shirt and jeans had something in his mouth that he would not spit out at the command of the law enforcement personnel. In fact he resisted quite significantly anything law enforcement demanded of him as did the other suspect. It was learned that the suspect in the blue T-shirt had drugs in his mouth that he would not spit out. I watched the drama play out for a little bit but decided local law enforcement did not need our ratings on this particular episode of “Bad Boys Bad Boys”.

I often comment I live in Bullet Ville but I do so kiddingly. Yet there is a steel fence which basically surrounds our building we are gated and that's okay with me. Any given night I hear many sirens running up and down Redwood Road which is right next to our building. I've not heard much gunfire at least I don't think so It's been July which is basically firecracker season are gunshots take your pick kind of all the same here.

Saturday, August 05, 2017

He Is My Brother

Today is my brother Ross's birthday.. He's older than I am five years old and I am. We are relatively close as brothers go. We're both adopted. I'm sure I have confessed this before in the pages of this blog but I believe is worth detailing again. Ross and I were adopted by my mother before she met and married my dad. I know that sounds a bit convoluted but it's the way that it went down. In fact, and I do not know the story though I wish I did, my brother Ross is a Canadian. My mother was Canadian But I do not think that one has anything to do with the other. I'm sure I have a great adoption story but it can't be as good as my brothers and the whole Canadian thing.

It's funny how time seems to heal all wounds. I think I had a relatively good childhood. I believe I was plagued by my older brother who seem to delight in physically abusing me. From the earliest memories I have Ross was there bothering me. He literally beat me up all the time. Put plastic bags over my head closed off the very around my neck and waited until I exhausted all the oxygen inside the bag. This was terrifying but I survived. I was terrified of dead things and Ross knew Iwas terrified of dead things yet Ross took great delight In chased me around the barnyard with a dead cat, face trapped in rictus of death, and finally throwing the dead beast at me. I survived. I don't think the experience terrified me to the point of psychoanalysis or the need thereof but I still think about the incidents. We talked about these things. I think for the family we both agreed these issues are part of growing up. I know there were a lot of little brothers who had life a lot worse than I.

Time goes by and we call each other a couple times a year. For sure on our birthdays and I have tried to keep in touch especially when my brother was going through his cancer treatments. Oh yes, I got the broken neck and he got to cancer. Ross went to war and did okay, actually Ross did great In the game of war. Ross is a natural born hunter. He has red hair just like the hunter from Scripture. It makes sense that he did so well in Vietnam.. We now tend to support each other as much as we can long-distance. I would like to spend more time with my brother but whereas I cannot travel independently anymore that is kind of out of the question especially since I can no longer drive myself. Even if I took the train to Boise nobody has an accessible room. I guess I could stay in a motel but this don't be the issues of getting around it unless we just stayed are met and accessible venues. Even if we did that there's still the issue of pooping and giving me in and out of the bed since I doubt I will have access to an electric bed as I do a home. By home I mean this apartment.

So every couple months we visit on the phone and the visit feels good. I am still part of the overall family whereas I think my brother has stepped away with sort of hurts me. I sometimes find myself caught in between and acting as the translator trying to explain of how come this an how come that? I did not mind being the translator after all he's not having he's my brother

Friday, August 04, 2017

Sweet Child Of Mine

I don't know what I was looking for, but for one reason or another I happen to trip across this video I took three years ago I titled Ice cream Dancer. The tag on the video says it was published in 2014 which would make it just three years ago and I cannot believe it was just three years ago. It must've been earlier and I just published a three years ago but no I think that's the published date the actual date.

I know I was still working with the state at Access Utah at this point in time. This was before my time with 211 and before my stenosis operations which is why it does not make sense to me. It feels like it should be more like 2010 2011 or even 2013. I remember distinctly I had taken off at lunch to wander downtown. In this square down by the building which I worked at – – okay this was taken maybe 2013 2014 I will grant it that. I'd come down from the big building at 211/United Way and the gone over to the Plaza where I knew they were having entertainment at lunch hour every day through the summer. Today, a major dairy producer was providing free ice cream to anyone who stop by and somebody had a music sound system going on. There really was a carnival feeling to the Plaza this day. While I was sitting there this guy just stepped out of the crowd and started dancing to the music which is being played. I was kind of dumbfounded And very entertained. I watched this fellow closely to see if he was intoxicated which he was not, I want to see if there was any kind of drug euphoria he may have been under and I could not tell but I do not think that he was. He was just a guy who was taken over by the music and granted may have some exhibitionistic qualities as he was certainly put not display for everyone. He did it was such panache and finesse that anything else was overlooked at least by me I was caught up in the moment and wished I had some of the freedom that this dancer seemed to enjoy. One can tell by just observing dancer that he was in the moment – – this was his moment. The day was hot and I cannot remember whether it was late July or early August but is definitely hot summer days like today is. I came across this video today while I was searching for another video to show my friend Lori at coffee. And tagged my brain to go back and watch it when I got home to the big computer.I've often wondered what happened to Dancer and hoped that wherever Dancer was that he was not incarcerated for whatever reason. In fact, I hope he's in another state of this union is not of mind. I would like to set down and visited with him. I'm sure we would have a conversation that when I asked him what he was doing he would've looked at me like I had three heads and said “what you mean? I'm Just enjoying the music on this hot summer day”. There is no doubt in my mind that he was and I hope that were ever Dancer is this August 2017 that is still listening to the music wherever that music might be in dancing and being “… Sweet Child of mine”

Thursday, August 03, 2017


Temperature once again is in the 90s, Even harder on the tarmac. I've been In the heated seems all day. Fortunately I did not have to do new chapter this afternoon as I usually do on Thursdays. I missed the read in because my wheelchair evaluation was scheduled to close to my other appointment. I guess I could've canceled or rescheduled my eval but I felt with what's going on with my body right now which I blame a great deal of it on messed up chair. I think if you evaluation last one out I would been able to make it to the reading but I think I would still put in jeopardy with my batteries. But the eval was two hours and that I have to write off reading with the group.

So once again I am dealing with a new wheelchair shop. This wheelchair shop however, is affiliated with IHC is a big hospital I've been dealing with this gives me hope especially once I get in line with their system getting to them will be a lot easier than Alpine Medical. I am at least hoping this will be the case. I'm trying to really hold myself back and not get excited about the possibility of being in the piece of equipment that would really meet my needs. As always I just take a wait-and-see attitude. There were some interesting options however that if the insurance would not cover features like an elevating seat or motors which would go 8 miles an hour. For as much really as I do and for the distance as I do will an extra 2 miles an hour of speed would sure make a difference. I'd probably have to pay about $4000 out of my own pocket for those kind of features if I wanted them. Both the wheelchair eval guy in my occupational therapist both agreed that my insurance would not touch these extras. I don't think I have the 4000 kicking around to be able to add these features to my device. I can live without the 8 miles an hour. I pretty much learn how to cope with six. 6 miles an hour is not as fast as I would like but it's working for me. So now it's just a matter of how much skill Casey and Brian have about putting together a document of need which will be believable and swallowed by my providers. It seems a pretty big rabbit to pull out of a hat but stranger things have happened.

While I was at the physical therapy center TOSH I had Casey look at my butt. Last night as I was applying lotion to my butt, the last thing I do before I go to bed. I noticed what I thought was a scab on my left butt cheek. A wound! It felt myself rocking in my chair the last couple days and was a little worried that this was maybe doing some shearing of one sort or another. I really want to have Honey look at it and she was here showering me but that did not happen. I really wish I talked her into applying a Band-Aid or dressing of some sort. Casey let me know that it was a wound and we begin looking at my cushion. It seems my cushion has been built up With these plastic wedges forcing my weight onto my left hip and make it wear against the skin. Casey took the wedges out and felt that by doing so my wound would have the weight taking off And begin the healing process. Casey was totally believable. So I hope with the weight off, with me continually doing weight adjustments and with Honey coming tomorrow to do the showering that we can also apply some tape to the wound which it believes will greatly help the healing process. I sure as heck did not want the wound.

Tomorrow is a DRAC meetingAnd I'm choosing not to go. Instead I'm going to have coffee with my friend Lori over at the community college. It seems to me coffee with Lori is much better than sitting by myself somewhere because the meeting was changed.

Wednesday, August 02, 2017

Arrrgh Lucy Don't Yank The Football!

I truly am beginning to feel like Charlie Brown. You know Charlie Brown and cartoon strip and specifically the strip where Lucy is holding the ball for Charlie Brown to place kick and every time Charlie Brown gets to the ball Lucy yanks the ball away. I did it again the day. I got up got dressed hung around the apartments and then headed in the Housing Authority for the DRAC meeting. And once again I get to an empty room.

That is twice this week I have got out of my way to make a meeting that I was around place. I'm going to go halfway and say I I could have mistaken the locations but I don't think so. But I did do especially after Monday meeting that wasn't – – at least it wasn't in the place I thought. I painstakingly checked the emails. I saw for sure there was a meeting Wednesday, today. Again, I did not even think the meeting would anywhere butThe Housing Authority of Salt Lake County. That's what they've always been except when otherwise noted. I didn't get the memo. I suppose Monday's meeting was at the DRAC office and today's meeting was at the DD Council office downtown Salt Lake.For some reason these non-meetings for me is not pissing me off. I think Monday I was so enamored of the little restaurant I stumbled upon that was hard for me to stay angry for the non-meeting. Today, again I went to a restaurant I haven't been for years – a Mexican place and I had tamales which were excellent. The place was right behind my old office: the independent living center. The place was definitely Hispanic, I mean it definitely was Mexican food being served but was also definitely Hispanic operated. I was mildly surprised a young guy took my order spoke English but he did. There were a couple other anglos in the restaurant. It was Mexican Semi-fast food not fast food like Taco Time or Taco Bell. The food was fast but definitely Mexican restaurant quality and quantity. My entrée was more expensive than fast food not so bad if you consider having the meal twice. That justifies eight dollars layout a little bit.

So, two-days Of meetings missed. Missing these meetings cannot make me look good in the community of rabble rousers. I doubt that I even care what these people think of me missing these meetings. After all one was a planning meeting and was a general meeting. My experience in the past couple months that these meetings are poorly Attended. I could go on and on about the poor folks disabilities and the poor transportation options but I figure what the hell? I got there on time. At a couple of functions we've had the past couple of months we ought to have a small ad hoc meeting or impromptu meeting. Where there's a great deal of backslapping, self-aggrandizement and a little planning for possible events. Already, the group is making plans for the next meeting Which now looks to be this coming Friday and I'm going to have to again, look closely to see where this meeting was supposed to be. I'm not sure if I'm even going to Attend. Unlike Charlie Brown I know when to put the ball away.

Tuesday, August 01, 2017


Briefly yesterday I mentioned that I had gone down to the Housing Authority for the monthly disability rights action committee (DRAC) and there was nobody there. In the spirit of full disclosure I need to say that I don't find out that the DRAC meeting was in fact tomorrow or Wednesday. I'm still confused about the Wednesday meeting time because I know for fact at the last DRAC function I was at last week that the meeting was Wednesday and that the meeting will be held at the regular place In the basement of the Salt Lake County Housing Authority. I was not pissed when I heard this information. I have been glad to have a reason to get up And get out the door. I know it's stupid to have to have a reason to get up in the morning but sometimes I really do need such motivation.

While I was employed many of the morning and afternoon I went drift off into daydreams about I would do if I had the time. I would write, I would draw, sketch and even paint. I worked out and one around downtown of the East End and even at the University of Utah just hanging out but in reality but I have such options I don't use them or I have to force myself to be involved to be active to have fun. What is wrong with me? I could if I wanted hope on 517 – Redwood Road and bus down the street to the movie house. There is even a movie I would like to say, more than one I don't want to get carried away. But yet I do not do it. I hope I'm not lazy sometimes I just wonder if maybe IStrengthsam depressed that's why I cannot get motivated to do stuff but somehow I don't think so.

I believe I am still motivated to do stuff. I still love to cook even though the process has become quite complicated and challenging. I miss my gas range and a decent prep area but yet I still love to cook.I need to watch it though… I have a gallon Ziploc bag which is really nice zip seal. But currently have barbecue from last week plus barbecue I did Sunday. I would hate to start having to throw stuff away that had gone bad.

So tomorrow is the DRAC Meeting. I do not have anything else on my agenda so I suppose I will go. I will probably smile and be friendly but wonder why I was not notified of the meeting change if that's what happened. Sometimes I think I'm searching for an excuse not to do the DRAC thing. And what does that say?.

Monday, July 31, 2017

Bon appetit

I felt a bit groggy this morning as I got up. I stayed up again too late messing around with Lori texting. If I knew how to sleep in better I certainly would have done it this morning. Chasing around my tablet last night I noticed an entry in the calendar for today. I had a DRAC planning meeting. This is a meeting I'd just as soon not go to cuz I think they are so poorly put together but as I said in a blog entry not long ago this is an organization that is growing and should be supported in that effort. So I figure why not? If nothing else that will give me a good reason to get out the door and a feeling that I've achieved something this day. As I was driving up to the parking lot to go out the back gate to the sidewalk I noticed Jim's lights to his new vehicle was on at the same time I noticed that my bus was just coming into the bus stop and there was no way I was going to make it. I certainly had the time now so I flipped around headed back to the apartments and told Jim about his vehicle .

Done my good deed for the day return to the bus stop made my trip into the train station where I jumped on Route 200 which then would drop me off close to County Housing Authority where DRAC  meeting is to be held. I was about a half hour early the meeting was to be at 1:05 p.m. so I figured hey maybe I'll get lucky and dick will have brought lunch like he always does. Lunch is off couple of 2 ft 3 ft long deli sandwiches which are then cut up into sections for the participants. He also drags in 3 pretty big bags of chips which I enjoy more than anything else. I don't Bank on him bringing lunch but he often does and I've learned that from the meetings called for a weird time like 1:05 p.m. that means lunch is served earlier then the meeting starts. I got down to the basement there was no one there. That's cool I thought who needs lunch? But the very second I thought that my stomach was hit the pangs of hunger and I hoped that I was just early and dick wood show up with the goods. It did not happen. No one showed up I waited for 15 minutes after one and I called it a no-show and left.

I still want to lunch now and I wasn't sure where to go. I kind of wanted Mexican but I wanted something good something better than normal something unusual. Around the corner from the Housing Authority there's a place called The Bad Ass Coffee Company. They serve Hawaiian coffee. I used to have coffee in this building every morning before I went to work when I was employed at the Independent Living Center. Now connected to this coffee shop is a smaller shop sandwich between the badass and the huge Mexican restaurant. This little space is been a number of different organizations or operations now it was a middle eastern restaurant. Indian and Pakistani food. I have avoided this kind of stuff for the longest time. Diane kind of likes this food I think the spice is scared me. But today I was willing to give it a shot especially because I live across the street from an Indian and Pakistani food store and there might even be a restaurant there I have never really checked. The place was deserted except for a business lunch of 3 people. They were about ready to leave. There was just one employee that I could see who welcomed me I think he was also the owner. He sat me down and handed me a plastic coated lunch menu with pictures. Long story short I had the beef kebab, made out of ground beef but it was good enough. Had a little pile of rice with some sort of gravy on it and a piece of flatbread. The mail was pretty darn good almost great. The threesome left shortly after I sat down and for the rest of it meal I was the only one there except for the proprietor and a television set with some Indian soap opera droning on and on and on.

Today was a good day I was surprised even though I missed my meeting I ended up having a cultural experience and a good meal. But I left the proprietor asked me that I tell everybody I know about his little restaurant. I asked him how business was and he said it was okay you said you'd been there for years as if that was an indication of how well he was doing. I guess it was a way of saying I'm still here. I'm going to post the card for the operation if any of you get an Inkling for Indian / Pakistani food stop in here and give it a shot. Bon appetit.

Sunday, July 30, 2017

End Of The Month Report or The times They Are A Changun

I'm doing Sunday things. Those things that need to be done before the beginning of the week. In my case laundry and specifically shorts. I have LONG pants patiently waiting for winter because I plan to wear my shorts as long as I can. I will probably break down and start wearing my slacks again in the fall, late fall and the dark clouds roll in with rain, sleet in the first flakes of winter. I hope that is the way my summer fades in the fall than to winter. However, anymore is difficult to say how the seasons well develop. I'm sensing global warming will be changed everything that I know as far as weather goes.

The weather continues to be hot and fairly dry. I still maintain the back of summer has been broken. The temperature the last couple days averaged in the 90s but the heat is different now following summer's broken back. The day now gets hot but then the heat goes away. I noticed the yesterday while working out on my arm bike. As I pumped I did not get the same kind of sweat that I did for the last two hot spells.The nights are not cold now But now I have noticed that I need to cover up before morning whereas before The heatwave I would just lay naked all night– –I love that part of summer, the beautiful sweltering in the heat. Now, a chill prowls the room around 3 AM And I am forced to cover up if I want anymore sleep.

I'm hoping for some more clouds, big bi Cumulus Some cotton which float lazily over the eastern mountains and finally organize into evening storms. Morning sunshine afternoon and evening lightning and when enhanced with wind and heavy rain all the better. We had Two storms this July. The weather guys referred to the storms as 200 Storms. Meaning I guess that we only got storms of that magnitude every 200 years. I do not know how much I believe that but they were grand storms all the same. I sure do not hope for flooding the streets or anywhere else Nor do I want to see drought in the park on the other side of the driveway to my apartments turned to dust. I just want some in the morning rain in the afternoon. Times they are changing.

My tomato plants are now huge. I cannot believe the stem emerging from the ground is on the one plant and I'm sure the stems are just as large on the other three. I just cannot reach to see them. The plants have thrown off blossoms But I see no fruit beginning. One of my neighbors here at the apartments remarked she is not seen any bees this year Which is maybe wonder perhaps the tomatoes have not pollinated. I did see some wasps flying around the plants when the blossoms are out and hopefully these villains of the backyard And picnics have done the job. Time will tell.

Tomorrow begins August, I'm not ready for August, I'm not ready to see the end of summer. Be that as it may summer is coming to an end and I better start getting.

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Honey Bunny

I've written about my home health person before her name is honey. I am not enamored with her don't think that I am. However, I understand now how many of my friends who are quadriplegics fall in love with their Home Care personnel. Falling in love with someone who takes care of you so thoroughly would be easy to do. But I have not. All the same honey and I have a close relationship. So close in fact that she is my only attendant and this of course is very poor planning. A couple days ago honey notified me that she had sprained her back or strained her back with one of her clients and that she had been ordered to bed rest for the next couple days. Important to me this information was of course because she's my attendant if she's not going to do me someone else will have to. Honey is part of a home health agency. I was under the impression we had a number of attendant similar to honey. I was wrong

Working with the information about honey gave me about her not coming on Friday. Enough it of proaction I called the main office who assured me they had someone coming and I emphasize that I needed to have somebody who had skills with a sling lift and who would be able to do enemas. That is a big issue for me. In fact that's what made me choose this organization in the first place when the last caregiving operation found out that my people were giving me enemas. Their folks under no circumstances were to engage in such activity. I had no idea. So in trying to find such a person I asked the people I worked with on the phone up front about this unique skill set which is not really to unique.

So last night around 5 the substitute caregiver was to show up. She was about a half hour late which is okay. As always had stripped and was waiting. I find if I do this stripping it cuts off a bit of time during the golden hour so that I can sure that I'll come in under an hour's time. Jackie what's a caregiver's name, Jackie was quite elderly actually but she can still function as a caregiver. It soon became apparent however she had no experience whatsoever with the lift but I felt comfortable enough to talk her through the process. However, as I instructed her to begin the process for the enema I could tell that she was totally ill at ease. Jackie has no experience whatsoever as a caregiver. She informed me she mostly worked as a housekeeper and sometimes sitting with folks. Once I learned this intelligence I stop the operation and had Jackie call the office. It was not Jackie's fault they knew what I needed I told them what I needed. It was just poor judgement. I contacted the office switchboard told them the problem and that person told me she would come out and do the job but it would be about an hour but I told her don't worry about it I'll wait until tomorrow /today and we would try it again to see if we could get it done right in the meantime honey calls and asks how it went. When I filled her in she was incensed and said that she would come over in the morning and provide the services I needed. I felt bad about her having to come in but she would not have anything else. She told me Angie the person who said that she would come would not be appropriate. Not only was Angie little experience, perhaps a bit more than Jackie but still little experienced and 9 months pregnant.

Her name is here around 8 this morning, the time that I wanted and we did a good job showering and toileting. I'm glad to have honey back I just don't know hell happened the next time. I would like to get at least one other girl with this agency trained for my needs but honey says that probably won't happen. I've got to figure out something does once the caregivers back starts to go the caregiver is soon to follow.

Friday, July 28, 2017

Once Again A Writer Writes!

The question on the floor is: is the person who keeps a blog a writer? Seriously, just because A person posts a blog regularly does this qualify actioon the person, a writer? What if the person posts every day and each one of those posts is on the average 500 words, then does this person qualified as a writer? A writer writes. This mantra has been my guiding light or hope for the past couple of decades. But the sheer face value of my mantra then I would be a writer. I currently have over 2000 blog posts and I can honestly say with a little pride that I finally got back to my stride of posting one 500 word post a day. I want to maintain this level output a couple of months until I can assure myself this is not a fluke. Once, I have this rhythm established then I want to maybe keep posting to my blog at the same time writing to other areas as well.

The reason I am once again trying to justify my existence and reinforce to myself that know what else writer is, is because we're quickly coming up on the next meeting of the “Writers Guild”, that quasi-writing group that meets maybe once a quarter to eat, visit and talk about writing. But a year ago we all agreed to begin bringing pieces of written work to be considered by the members of this group. I assume or I'm sure if I didn't bring anything to the group I would still be allowed to stay eat and converse with the others. But I feel a need to bring something. Since I know I can do 500 words I just need to sit and do 500 words may be more – – I started with an offering of 500 words which blossomed into about 2000. I was surprised. What I did for the last meeting and the offering turned out okay. However, that's not a lot. I want to write the next offering for the group that I have not written anything. My friend Lori was a member of this group says to me to bring copies of various blog postings. For a quick second I thought to myself ' yeah, yeah that's the answer I'll just bring a bunch of blog posts'. Then I thought boy that's a copout this solution kind of felt like cheating. Now having written the preceding sentence I still might bring some blog postings but I really want to develop the next chapter of the so-called book I am writing regarding my life after trauma 50 years ago.

Don't get me wrong, I do not discredit my blogging but By blocking just doesn't seem like true writing to me. My blog is not necessarily a journal though in many cases the blog could be a journal, I guess—In fact I do keep a journal besides my blog. My journal is a recounting of my days as accurately as I can, usually at the end of each day. My blog however, many times, will seize on a portion of a single event of that day and build on that event hopefully making a point. I must confess sometimes my blog is nothing more than a journal entry but I try to stay from blog journalizing.

So once again a writer writes, I write, therefore I must be a writer. Guarded grin.

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Pro action and Wound Care

I have made a decision to be going down ,to bed, during the day to rest and to get the weight off my butt. I think I've developed a pressure sore on my left hip. The sore is located, sort of high up on the hip. He my health person didn't see it first time I suggested that I may have a wound . Honey on closer inspection found what she thought to be a wound. I had Honey attempt to apply the second skin tape that Dianne used to use but Honey doesn't have the same skill level Dianne   does. The tape became all scrunchy last night when I applied my lotion and this morning I took the tape off completely because the tape had bunched up during the night And I was afraid to take because more problems and what the tape might solve.

Now I'm wrestling with the question of going to my care provider for wound care management? Remember last month, I went in and there was  all  this hassle about taking information from me regarding payment online.The event was all pretty draconian. Theoretically now that I have become established at the wound clinic I should get more readily served. I still do not think they appreciate pro-action at the wound clinic. I got the impression they wound clinic will see you but they would much rather have you make your appointment. My knee-jerk reaction that says  that's garbage but I've been spoiled by the University of Utah who really focuses on wound care and wound care prevention. So maybe I'll make an appointment for tomorrow, Friday. Today I have a number of things that must be focused on. I'm going to have to because about either do pressure releases all day all the time or get myself down in bed which I cannot see happening but better to go to bed ,at this stage,than allow the wound progress to a really to really dangerous level.

I see my occupational therapists and whoever else will be involved in my chair review, which is scheduled for next week. I know it is my power chair which has caused me to start putting extra weight on the left cheek causing this wound . I try to be proactive which is not working. Today I have my coffee group and then I have to go out to West Jordan at four for the read long. I will cause some damage to the cheek but the damage will hopefully be minimal. After the coffee group I'm going to try to lay down to take the weight off. Maybe later this afternoon after I get back from the read along. I need to remember that I still have to exercise on the arm cycle for 45 minutes. Hopefully, the chair review well help in getting some remedies to my problems. The only issue with that is that the chair review can be relatively long-term Maybe a new cushion would be more forthcoming but even that takes time. I have even thought about starting to use the old chair, the backup chair and see what happens is that the that helps.All the legally by three but I'll be around until then. And I don't need to be there when you here. You're just look at a trustable

Once again I'm frightened, concerned yet hopeful I will be okay.

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Can I Have More Sir?

I cannot believe how much time I'm spending on public transit. I have to admit I love the system, I love having a card that allows me to go anywhere I want to within a service system which everything I worked for went I was with with independent living. It really is a good system all things considered. There are changes in store for the system, change management at the top which I think would make a better system and I hope more options for folks with disabilities, low-income and the basic Rider.

The constant reader will remember that I spent some time a couple years backWorking as an operator for 211. 211 is a good system however it is a private nonprofit and really, I do not think, can stand on its own so must be attached to a larger organization. The old days it was assigned to a private nonprofit which was a really do-gooder group. Cannot remember exactly what happened to the organization or even its name right now but they sort of went down and when 211 resurfaced actually went to understand the United Way got stuck with 211. That sounds crass I know but that's sort of how I see it. I really side when I worked there. 211 was sort of stuck to the back of United Way floor. 211 was a ragtag group Of do-gooders. Kids finishing college, moms and grandpas and folks trying to do good. United Way on the other hand was a slick, top-drawer operation ran by polished seniors in the cross-section of overachieving beautiful youth who not only want to make a difference But Make some money at the same time. Boy, I could tell I was way out of my league whenever I wandered over to the United Way side of the floor. I made a couple of good friends when I work 211. I have kept up with them kind of through social media. I've had a couple of lunches with some of the United Way folk. This week I had lunch with Heather. There are two Heather and Linda. Not that it matters that they were to Asian women, young and relatively new to United Way I suspected. They have to have lunch in this little bitty room that sat about four tables, a sink and of course the mandatory microwave. I don't quite remember how it happened, I doubt that I was forward enough the to invite Them to My table So I figured they Invited me to theirs. We developed a friendship sort of like Seinfeld and reverse I was
Elaine. We did not hang out at each other's homes. In fact only contact was during work, at lunch a quick 30 minutes.

United Way is having their annual summer picnic the summer picnic is quite an event. I've never gone only heard of it. They always choose a place of the border of Salt Lake County seems to me. This year it's sort of up in the foothills of Salt Lake and I know no bus goes there. So I basically shrugged the picnic off again. I've gotten a number of emails from people who desire me to go. I conveniently and defeatedly said I could not make it.

But I've been thinking about it today. And I wonder if I take the bus to the end of the line which is at the base of the area going up to the picnic area then call Ute Red Cab for the rest of the trip.. The trip with cost some dough but I'll bet would be doable. So now I'm thinking might not go for it and join the rest of the bastard children at the picnic table and ask for more.