Enhancers Of Chaos

I have often referred to myself as the destroyer, the Great Destroyer but ever since I came home yesterday from my days outing into a perfectly ordered apartment I've been trying to be careful not to do anything to mess up the place. But it's strange matter what I do I seem to drop something, spill something or break something. So yes I do some destroying but more often than not I do something chaotic, it seems I am an enhancer of chaos. I was born to help ordered reality to non-order. Now I don't think this is a good thing per se but does not the universe need enhancers of chaos? Natural breakdown is part of the natural order I'm only doing what is natural.

Still being the Enhancer-- which makes me sound like a superhero or super villain – – of chaos you would think that I would don't get frustrated when my actions result in either things not working correctly, not being able to perform as I would like or just making my environment hard to appreciate and enjoy. I have this drawer in the kitchen that I pulled and have placed the board across the open drawer acting as a work surface. In the process of doing this I have pushed the front of the drawer completely off. I know that is difficult to visualize but imagine the drawer with the front so it's just the space/open space that still has everything that drawers have in them in the kitchen when there's more to the top. Now remember a number of months ago my occupational therapist was going to put hinges on the back of the board mounting the board to the counter so I be able to lift the board up to get to the items in the drawer. I hate think about how my OT has sort of dropped the ball on the drawer project. I have to watch every minute when I'm working on that surface but I don't wish that drawer and so far that the work surface tumbles and everything on it tumbles to the floor or in my lap. These inanimate objects that I tend to animate, so easily, due to my chaotic coefficient is just doing what it wants to do but then I have to figure how to restore order to the chaos I've made. Enhancer are not really this ordering really pisses me off. Then there is tipping of my was a desk top in my living room. This surface is usually covered with pens, pencils, mail opened and unopened, art supplies usually stacking layers. This goes on until invariably I backed my chair into the corner and everything falls to the floor this is a major mess is not me feel good at all.

Whining as I have been is not been that unproductive. In fact I'm beginning to feel pretty good about my life in chaos. I'm positive that I will not magically start living and ordered life but the job that Cindy my cleaning person does is so good that I want to fight my natural self and reign in my chaotic features. I built this last month when she cleaned and worked kind of hard to bring this about enough that Cindy noticed and mentioned as much. My goal now is the doing better this next period of time to get even more positive strokes. I me after all is that all about the strokes ;-)?

Bus Pass, New Frames and Clean Apartment!

Today was a pretty good day. I accomplished three things and spent way more money than I had anticipated but in my little mind I guess it had be done – – spending the money. But I was busy and I was out of the apartment to important things for me especially since my regular Tuesday morning meeting had been canceled. The days have warmed up even though the nights are called the snow is falling recently and many of the sidewalks that I want to use are still quite clogged with snow ice I sense the earliest stirrings of spring. The days of grown longer, winter does not stand a chance matter, the hours and minutes of daylight overrule the darkness bringing on hope. I figured it was time to reclaim my bus pass which I last more than a week ago but state capital. The holder of the pass, one Andrew Riggle, who is ever present at the Capitol building when the legislature is in session, of course was there today. I decided to make the run-up and grab the pass.

The trip was pretty straightforward – – what used to seem like forever and very challenging – – is now swift and easy as pie. I the train to the courthouse stop, and then boarded the 500 up to the Statehouse. I started at the cafeteria. I figured it was going to take a while to find Andrew,  because I was sure Andrew would be in one of the meetings scattered through the whole legislative complex. Fortunately I was more than lucky seeing Andrew as I rolled into the state House cafeteria. I couldn't believe my luck. We visited briefly I surrendered the pass I had gotten from the legislative intern and Andrew gave me my pass which looked like it had broken in half which is kind of weird but oh well a bird in the hand.

I felt pretty stoked so I decided I would head for  Costco on the way see what it would take to replace my glasses I destroyed. I'm always startled at how different Costco is during the week as opposed to the weekend. So much more civilized during the week. Again I was shocked at how smoothly my operation went at the Costco. I found that the exact  frames I destroyed, in stock and the tech would make the change while I waited. The only pinch in the whole operation was the frames, $71 altogether cost me $85 by the time I got out of there. Once again, I figured cost of doing business and try not to think about it. It's the end of the month by state pension deposited yesterday and my Social Security should be in by tomorrow I'm okay.

But the best part of my day was coming in the apartment on my return trip. Cindy makes any person had been in today. But she did an astounding job. I love my place, once Cindy has been here. Everything is clean. I saw her little bit this morning before I left for the capital and she kind of complimented me on how well at The house in the last two weeks. Her comments stroked my ego. The place really looks like an adult lives here – – go keep up the illusion.

 

And the last thing that I accomplished was calling Utah transit Authority and replacing my broken bus pass. I was informed that any puncture, breaking each other care to the bus pass somehow breaks the past and the pastoral no longer work on electronic equipment that identifies the user. The authority is sending me out a new pass – – no charge!

The day cost me real money probably upwards to a couple hundred bucks but it was situational. It's not like our law, glasses everyday in the cleaning person comes twice a month – – I may have to rethink the frequency of her visits. Still though it was a pretty good day.

Mr. Irresponsible

I started wearing glasses probably when I was about seven. At that point in time I wore glasses minimal just when I was in class or reading. I think having glasses was my really first experience with true responsibility and what I remember most I didn't do too well in his department. There wass a giant field, a 40 acre field between our home in the main road and Boise Avenue the main artery that went in town. The surface of this 40 acres change from year to year. Mostly the service was qualifies, similar to a rough lawn. This texture was from alfalfa when old man Johnson ran hay. Other years the planned corn, the corn years left row upon row where the corn had stood.

I wore my glasses and had a cool little pouch which fit on to my belt. I thought the pouch was cool because there's nothing else better I can say. After all, glasses or glasses and four eyes are four eyes. Actually, nobody really made fun of me, I just felt persecuted for having to have corrected vision. As I said, 40 acres stood between us and the main road and every morning I had to cross that field or go the long way following the road up to the corner that up to the main road cut across the field was much faster. So every morning, I would fly out the front door crawl under the fence and tear across across Johnson's fields. Then in the afternoon I came home the same way. Crossing the field when it was alfalfa was much simpler than negotiating deferrals and Johnson had planted corn. It didn't matter what was planted it seemed like once a year crossing the field I would lose my glasses. Either the whole pouch somehow fell off my belt or the pouch was not secured and the glasses popped out. I would be devastated. I have to praise my parents for not thrashing me present must've cost a bundle in those days in our family. I always retrace my steps moaning and groaning and sometimes even crying and always praying (I really was a believer in prayer or maybe just superstitious behavior, I would try anything.) Sometimes I actually found the glasses but more often than not they were never seen again.

Today, I have to wear my glasses all the time I am conscious. I accept I am at that point in my life where I'm always looking up from my glasses so I can read things up close. My glasses are prescription of course and I have prisms, the invisible kind. Thank goodness I never lose my glasses now. Now, I'm just irresponsible and still the destroyer. Today, I had tilted my chair back to ease the pain off my butt, I had my glasses riding on my forehead. I've had this set of glasses about a year now little over a year and they're beginning to stretch out meaning the glasses don't stay on my four head like I wish they did. Invariably when I am tilted back the glasses will slide off my head in her onto my lap or they'll fall under the floor. Today, the glasses fell onto the floor. I can't remember if I got a phone call or what but something distracted me. I forgot everything and tended to whatever was taking my attention and sure enough when I went to find my glasses what I found was the remains. One Temple was completely destroyed the other was hanging on by just a screw. I was able to twist the remaining Temple somewhat in the place to where the glasses well enough to balance them on my nose I'm going to have to replace the glasses, thank goodness I have my backup pair of the glasses I wore before these. I got the broken pair from Costco so the next day or so I plan to make a trip over there and see how long it will take to replace the frames. The lenses are still good I just need frames and one of those nifty replacement policies.

Poor Man's Roast Beef

Sunday night and I have a meatloaf in the oven. It seems I've been cooking this little meatloaf for hours but maybe I'm just anxious for one of my favorite cuts of meat. Does meatloaf even count as a “cut” of meat? I'm going to count meatloaf as such. I was kind of surprised I had to go back and check to see how many meatloaf references I have and I have more than I thought. Some have to do that a lot now at 2500 posts I've just about covered everything—but still hopefully I can do fresh twists on all items.

I call meatloaf the poor man's roast beef. I understand there are some people who do not like meatloaf which I find hard to comprehend. Friday was “food box” day. That is when the good bank delivers boxes of food and bread to qualified residents here at Plymouth View. I do not qualify for a box but I go down every food box day just to enjoy the excitement of the seniors getting the food boxes. Actually, I don't know how many the seniors actually like getting food boxes I just like the event. The food bank always delivers way too much bread so I always grab a loaf or two if it's bread that I can deal with. Truth is I rarely take any bread, just because of the calorie content. However this week all they had was white hamburger buns and I figured it would be good to have some white bread to use for meatloaf. I'm due to put together a meatloaf… Soon. Hamburger, I guess is a cut of meat that is often relegated to folks of low income. I guess I understand that. I have written about how the frequency of hamburger based dinners at our home tended to increase as we consumed the poor beef Steer flextime who had been sacrificed for our family's freezer. All the white butcher paper wrapped bricks of protein be they ribs, steaks or roasts had been systematically devoured. Even though we regularly, every Friday night, had hamburgers we still had blocks of one-pound packages left which of course turned into spaghetti sauce, sloppy Joe's and my favorite, meatloaf.

I am loving the smell that is filling my apartment at this writing. The meatloaf I cooked today from its frozen state in the refrigerator. I've never done this before, cooked a frozen piece of meat straight from the freezer but I read up on the concept and found I just have to have an inner heat of 160°F. This meatloaf is a mini-meatloaf, I picked up a few weeks ago that the market and the “quick sale” bin. I was a little reticent because who can make a better meatloaf then I? But I figured at three bucks for complete, granted,small meatloaf how can I go wrong? And if I didn't get the meatloaf I would experience buyers remorse. I bought it and stuck it in the freezer.

I actually pulled the steak from the freezer when I took out the frozen meatloaf. I washed my usual Sunday load of clothes today and didn't feel up to destroying the kitchen any further than I have this weekend especially after the frijoles event. The meatloaf one out, I want to use the package before became so freezer burned the meatloaf would be non-usable. I'm going to throw a potato into the microwave, pull out what's left of my ketchup and have a great little poor man's roast for dinner… Bon appétit.

Stir Crazy Me? Not Yet!

I'm not here yet, but it's coming

I'm doing okay for February and snow and ice so think that I don't dare leave the apartment complex just yet. This last week that made one trip away from the complex and that was for my Thursday book club. Actually, if you count going out Tuesday morning to the bus stop in getting stuck I guess that would be a trip out but I hardly count that. I'm not yet buggy, stir crazy or whatever. Luckily I'm out of apartment complex large enough about I have enough stimulation to ward off the insanity that comes with being locked in. Got food and resources, an Internet connection and people to visit with should I feel the need. Granted, many of these folks are folks that I would not typically visit with but they are good people and provide adequate social interaction.

I've got projects. This weekend's project has been making refried beans from real dried beans. Couple weeks ago I made refried beans from a can of beans which was okay. I wasn't totally pleased with the refried beans but they worked for what I needed. The trouble is you can only make as many frijoles as you have cans of appropriate means. Now if you have bags of dried beans that's a whole different ballgame but takes a lot more work. Actually I started my project on Thursday I don't have a bag of beans into some water to soak overnight. At the end of this time the beans were getting a little soft but they were a long ways from being what I would use for refried beans. So I dug out my crockpot but the beans in and cook them all day. Last night when I tested them they were still slightly crunchy so I put them away and put them on again this morning. Finally, midday the beans were socks I think they're going to get so I got my mixer out and beat the beans into a quasi-mash. I really need to get a potato masher that's what everyone uses but I still think might beans were totally ready but I was totally ready to get the project underway. I took the beans with garlic and onions, green peppers and that could in jalapenos and about half a cup of juice from the can of jalapenos. I used about 3 cups of chicken broth to cook the beans in. Now I have to admit along the way I may have removed 2 cups of beans while they were cooking towards the end just to eat. They were darn good, I think I would be just as happy to have eaten these beings as beans and not necessarily mashing them up but I was focused on refried beans and that's what I ended up with. Trouble is, I was kind of tired of the beans by the time I finished mixing them up with the beater to put everything in a plastic box and shoved it in the refrigerator. I tend to use the beans with my Mexican dinner plates.

This project, left my kitchen in a shambles. I am going to clean a little bit tonight and maybe tomorrow.I can't remember if more snow is forecast for tomorrow or Monday but more snow is coming. I need broccoli, bananas, grapes and. I'd like to cook a roast. I may try to make a run for it in the morning if the looks at all doable if not maybe I'll just make garbroc and call it good.

Easter Seals – – Idaho

click for early video of Easter Seals – – Idaho

More snow fell today. Fortunately for me I had no appointments to consider nothing and no reason to go outside the premises of my apartment complex. Any snow removal which has been accomplished yesterday now is all in vain when the days new snowfall. A good day to hang out and do some research. Couple days ago I reached out for an old friend of mine. You and I have known each other for about 50 years. He has cerebral palsy and you know I have spinal cord injury and we become old man which is really hard to fathom. Anyway, I want to follow up with Henry for some time, his name is Henry we met at Camp Easter Seals which I did a fairly good job of describing in a posting about nine years ago. Every couple of years I get an itch to develop Some sort of document or media representation of that period of my life. And let me be specific and saying not necessarily of my life of all the campers lives who went through time at Easter Seals. As much as I may have just been this place in my 2009 posting the truth is I loved my time at this place. I'm infected now with the desire to make contact with other folks from that same period of my life. In my research of this facility I'm shocked that there is not more information available. Thus far I've been able to find one video which is rather crude but identifies the camp and its reason for being.

Camp Easter Seals which became camp Roger C. Larson and which is now a camp for the Coeur d'Alene Indian tribe was run and maintained by Washington State University or WSU. Staffed by faculty and health sciences students mainly occupational and vocational therapy students. I know that WSU has the historical records of this facility and staff who attended for the years. They probably also have a treasure trove of images taking over that time. I think for the next couple months or whatever I'm going to start making inroads to see if I can get a hold of some of those images to document if nothing else my time at this facility. My friend Henry spent a lot more time at this facility than I do with years. I think I only went there twice over the summers. I'm sure my friend as many more contacts that can shed more light on this history.

In my own personal research I found two images of Henry and myself taken and I believe in 1968. These images were taken on a path from our cabin (72^nd K cabin) to the docks where we swam every day. I have included with this post the video an gives a good representation of camp and some of the activities which we participated in. Heartbreaking, for me, the video does not show as much of the buildings as I would've liked but does a good job of showing some of the activities. I apologize for the video being as crude as but keep please in mind, this video was made in 1962. I just wish the audio was present but you get what you get.

My buddy Henry

Me (1968

I Wanna Be a Paperback Writer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmVwo2DxkGg

I love books in the paperback format there's just something liberating about paperback book. I probably really started reading paperbacks in the seventh grade and I started hanging around a crowd of readers. I've always liked to read I just don't read well. Reading does not come easy to me, reading never pass, but I still love the sensation of falling into a book. I struggle to read but I find the process highly rewarding. I went to school, grade school, on the college campus that I graduated from. We were a training ground for potential teachers we called them cadet teachers or student teachers. I often thought we were the guinea pigs for a lot of educational things going on. I worked a number of years in a program called SRA (Scholastic Reading Achievement). This was a graduate of reading program that encouraged the participant to increase speed at which they read as well as the comprehension. I suppose it was a good program but it sure didn't help me in my reading speed. Unless, I was so in and as a reader that exposure to these reading principles levitated me at least to the level where I am now.

In junior high I started hanging with the group of guys that read. One of my best friends at that time got me reading Ian Fleming novels i.e. James Bond 007. One of my other friends turned me onto Kurt Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle and Slaughter House 5. I loved the convenience of having the book, the whole book, stuck in my back pocket that went with me wherever I went. I was never alone and always had something to do. I had something to look forward to and that was reading, reading the paper back in my back pocket.

Paperback Writer was released by the Beatles 1966, in June of that year. My accident was in July so I have almost a month of listening to this song which definitely had major impact on my life. I don't know why, perhaps my mother was a big influence on my writing desire but I love playing with the idea of someday being a writer. I wrote poetry because I thought it was simpler than prose. A poem I could start and finish in one sitting. A story or short story, not only did one have to write but then one had a proofread afterwards proofing I found dreadfully intimidating. I did not have the patience nor the skill sets to be a good proofreader. I kind of wish I had had someone who has sat down and drilled these writing skills into me. Only now, at this late stage, I'm beginning to feel I can come to grips with proving and rewrite. I don't know if I'll be able to totally pull it off but the process does not freak me out as it had once done.

I love the whole song PaperbackWriter, I love the concept of expanding the book just because whoever the person is writing for wants more words or changed one way or another. The writer is totally mercenary and I find that totally intriguing. I want to be a writer someday and above all else a paperback writer.

the

Worthey And Love Is Blue

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs7QyPIlpWc

In 1968 the Vietnam war was raging, my older brother was in Vietnam as it raged and I was in my second year of disability. I pretty much got the lay of the land down as far as living in a wheelchair in Boise Idaho. Accessibility to anything with a challenge but I found with a little bit of tenacity and support I can just about bring up anything. I was 17 and even with partial quadriplegia I was still quite a handful. Somewhere along the line I figured I was going to have a normal life as I could pull off. Granted my parents pretty much felt the same way but I think they're a bit perplexed on how to do it. I think my parents were overwhelmed with taking care of me and the rest of the family. I, of course, was oblivious to the stress and strain I put on the family and pretty much went on my selfish mid-teen way trying to find my life as a teenager with a disability.

I had not realized how many folks with disabilities were running around Idaho at the time. There were enough that private nonprofit entities had gotten quite a stronghold in the do good business in that area. Easter Seals was a heavy hitter in the doing good arena. Easter Seals foundation had put together a camp for kids with disabilities. An actual, fly away from home, camp on a bona fide lake in northern Idaho, almost too beautiful for eyes to contend with. The camp of course was called Camp Easter Seals. The private nonprofit organization rounded up kids with disabilities for two camping sessions during the summer one for younger kids up to be 16 and then another for 16 to 18-year-olds. The camp was beautifully built on Coeur d'Alene Lake in Idaho , actually Idaho was on one side of the lake the state of Washington on the other. The camp would host approximately 70 to 80 campers . The camp was staffed by students from University of Idaho and Washington State University, the students were from the Department of physical therapy, occupational therapy and pre-medicine. The camp had about 14 cabins spread around the campgrounds. Each cabin was named for the organization of our company which supported are donated the cabin.

There was only one cabin for people who used wheelchairs for mobility, just cabin was coed and house the only washer dryer for the camp.The capital course is flat with a fine concrete floor perfect for wheelchairs. We were cabin 72 the Kiwanis cabin and of course I shortened that to the 72^nd "K" cabin I thought the name sounded military. I think I was the oldest kid in the cabin that summer. I was the only kid would actually been able-bodied on time. I pretended I hate going to the camp. Actually, I love going to the camp. We boarded some company aircraft myth was up to Coeur d'Alene Idaho. For a week we got away from our parents and family and the restrictive environment of an able-bodied world to spend seven days with folks that similar challenges and frustrations and desires. I eventually went three sessions. I was a bit of a bad boy with the same time a role model. These kids never had a chance to be badly influenced in their disability lives. The year I was the oldest person in the cabin I sort of got attached to a young spina bifida named Worthington or just Worthey. Worthey was a cute little kid. He carried a transistor radio with him everywhere he went. That summer I turned them on to the musical piece Classical Gas by Mason Williams. Worthey was transfixed by this music and everything and I hear time I hear this song I I think of Worthey. Somewhere, I have an image of Worthey but couldn't find it for today's post. But I do have a link to the music video. I lost track of the little kid or the years. But like to know what happened to him.

Stopped By Snow

My toes can be a mess. I really have not been a good steward of my toes over my lifetime. I have to praise my former wife Dianne on her attempts to keep my toes and more specifically my toenails in check. I used a fight her attempts to trim my toes and keep them not only presentable but healthy. I hear and now publicly apologize to DD for being such an obstructionist to her efforts. I am now, in an effort to practice adult good health decisions, seeing a podiatrist every six weeks to the nail trim. Today was my follow-up to a trim six weeks ago. I really did not anticipate any problems getting to my appointment after all the podiatrist is just 40 blocks south of my apartment complex. Taylorsville. I figured I would just go to the intersection cross the street to my bus stop and go. I don't know what I was thinking really. I saw the snow yesterday. I also knowledge of the fact that I saw the snow last night coming down as I went to bed but I did not think snow would be an issue for me this morning making my 8 AM appointment.

I actually started going to bed early last night, I did not make it, so that I can be sure to be up early to catch the right bus to get me to my 8 o'clock. I was kind of surprised at how well everything went this morning getting up, dressing even making breakfast. Yesterday during the storm I made sure that the guys who are dozing our parking area pay special attention to the sidewalk that leads to the gate to the sidewalk which surround the building. They did a good job but they stopped at the property line. I cannot fault them for working to the letter of the law but she would've appreciated a bit more spiritual interpretation of that snow removal. I wish they could have cleaned the past to the bus area itself. This morning when I got to the end of the gate I met a three or 4 inch wall of snow just on the other side of the property line and even more snow up and down the sidewalks and especially the bus stop. I don't know what I was thinking because I knew there is no way that once I got into the snow I would stop or be stopped by the snow itself. Sure enough about 6:45 AM I was up to my axles and snow and I wasn't moving anywhere.

I stayed in that exact spot for the next 15 to 20 minutes trying to flag down somebody someone who could help me get back on to the sidewalk or the walkway back to my apartment complex. It was still quite dark and the snow was still coming down slightly. It seems the harder I waved trying to get people's attention to let them know I needed help the happier they were the wave back. I can't imagine them thinking I was one of those bizarre wheelchair people that sits on the side on the Street waving tothe people trying to bring happiness in their lives. I was not panicking because I knew that sooner or later I would find someone – – in fact I even corralled a high school student who was lumbering by and asked if he would stop at the fire department and send someone down to assist me. The student assured me he would advise the fire department which was two blocks down and on the weight was high school. No one ever showed up but that's okay, they may have, because finally three blokes came walking up and asked how they could help and soon I was happily traveling the walkway back to the apartments to my warm apartment.

I spent the rest of the day trying to find a way to get my bus stop clear of snow. I did speak with one representative from Utah transit Authority collecting wealth be able to bring about some assistance to clean out my bus stop tomorrow. I also need to contact the city of the state of the county where is responsible for the sidewalk next to our building and the Park adjacent to our property to see who can remove snow from that long stretch of sidewalk. I don't imagine this is going to be a quick fix but I need something done by Thursday, day after tomorrow, when I have to go be part of Next Chapter book club. I am just thankful that is 20 February and that this winter is almost over as opposed to it being October and the snow season just beginning. Overall it's been a pretty nice winter season as far as snow and the lack of it goes.

Thank you Very Much

The snow came in today white and cold. What is been a very warm and dry winter is now turned cold and snowy. Things aren't looking too bad though, however I did not go out today, tomorrow however I should make up for being a shut in today. I have 8 o'clock meeting in the morning with my podiatrist and then later in the morning in downtown Salt Lake I have my Assist meeting. I would not be surprised however, if David cancels the meeting because of the snow.

I actually found about canceling my podiatrist appointment because of the snow and the cold and the ungodly hour of 8 o'clock. But you know what I live right on Redwood Road, all I have to do is cross the street and wait for the bus to take me to the podiatrist because his offices on Redwood Road to just down the street 40 blocks. Granted I have to switch buses halfway in my trip but it really cannot be easier even with the snow. I was a little worried because of the snow on the sidewalk but I sort of sat on management's head here at the apartments and saw that they got the snow off the walkway to the main sidewalk on Redwood Road. Chances are that hasn't been cleaned and snow but that's okay all I have to do is get to the intersection cross the street which shouldn't be too hard even if there's more snow tonight, which very well might be.

There are moments in my day that I very much think we're on the brink of dark times especially folks with disabilities. I was texting with my friend Lori tonight for a few minutes and we texted about how dismal living alone can be sometimes special when trying to stay warm. Lori pays for her heat and I do not, mine is included with my rent, I'm not too frugal with the heat whereas Lori has to be frugal. What are we going to do if the current administration does begin to ravage the social systems and networks of our country and people dependent on entitlements? I try not to think about these scenarios, I know they are coming there really is no other way to play the cards as they are currently dealt. I have yet to get really depressed yet but thank goodness I don't get caught in cyclic thinking about such tragedies. I hope maybe when the time comes the motley crew of people I hang with put together some sort of living scenario that will get us through. In our conversation we made reference to Dickens and some of his characters that live hand to mouth, gutter to Street. I wonder sometimes if we as a culture have romanticize Dickens writings more than he would've liked. In trying to keep with my current fixation of trying to build my blog around a piece of music I quickly visited Scrooge for one of my favorite songs Thank you Very Much these characters make being poor look fun. But maybe when/if the times turn dark, people with disabilities might ban together in small clumps here and there in the community sharing housing, food, transportation and even attendant care. Maybe we can find some one perhaps a kinder version of Fagin( Oliver--Oliver Twist) will kindly sent us on our way each morning to pickpockets, steal bread and an occasional piece of meat… Thank you very much

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jo41y-kZ9WY

Sugar Sugar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSP0e5rXUl8

In the spring of 1969 I was well into my third year of life with a disability. I had been to rehab and had been back to the house, spent a year in North Carolina with my brother and sister-in-law to you my parents a break and I was back going to school. I had actually taken home economics as one of my electives for either my junior or senior year electives. Three of the four girls who who sat at my table volunteered on weekends at the state school and hospital 30 miles west of Boise. Idaho STATE School and Hospital was a huge facility housing 600 or so folks with developmental disabilities some very severe. I was a very opportunistic teenager in fact the very reason I was in home economics was because I figured out home economics space was a good way to meet girls. Taking this opportunism a step further I talked the girls into giving me a ride over to the hospital so I can see what it was all about in the hopes of volunteering myself.

Soon I was going over every Saturday. My workstation at the facility was in the crib ward in the main hospital. Crib ward as the name denotes was a portion of the hospital that served the most severely involved residents. We refer to these folks as kids even though most of them were much older than I. They were manifestations of the worst birth defects imaginable. The kind of things I've seen only in books in the parts of the library that were off-limits to most folks. There were a number of kids with hydrocephalus, heads as huge as watermelons. There were other folks could have got jobs working at the Circus in the sideshow. I was kind of freaked at first but soon grew to love the kids. My job was to feed these guys. I usually worked from early afternoon till just after dinner. I basically fed puréed food these guys. I talked to them even though there was no proof that even heard sometimes they would track by voice but basically turned her head and neck touched her cheek with a spoonful of food. It was a messy ordeal but I grew to enjoy the process.

The state school was housed on a huge campus. The buildings were ancient, huge hundreds of residents to a building. In the center of the campus wasan acquainted little building called the canteen, I wish I had images of the canteen. It's very much reminded me of an old drugstore cafeteria. The higher functioning folks on campus hung out at the canteen. The canteen was the campus hangout. I was amazed at the social structure that existed at the canteen. In the canteen of course there was a jukebox in the season that I was there sugar sugar played constantly. There was a number one son on campus it was the Archie's Sugar Sugar. I usually packed lunch and get something to drink at the canteen but you could get hot sandwiches (premade delights thrown into a microwave and nuked). They also had an impressive selection of candy offerings.

I ended up volunteering at state hospital for about a year, later I did a internship there in behavior modification. That is a whole another post. I totally enjoyed my time at state hospital, my time there truly influenced the rest of my vocational life. I met incredible people residents and professional staff alike I always said you can't tell the players start a program and anywhere that is true it was at state hospital.

Roll Like A Man

I got positive reinforcements from yesterday's post one reader really liked the post. So I'm going to do another music video post blog and see how it works. When I was in high school – – remember I had to go to the rival high school. I sat at the seminary table in early morning study hall. This was a place to house all the students who got school early. Someday I'll write more about seminary tables but not today – – but I will say was that many of the folks who sat at the seminary table for also thespians and theater students in one year they put on West Side Story. I was totally blown away with the whole process. I had visions of rewriting West Side Story and having the modified version take place in a rehabilitation facility and everybody in the play would use wheelchairs. I even wrote some music on the road lyrics to some of the songs. Instead of Sharks and Jets again to be quads and paras.

I've been interested in presenting a number of different disability treatments to various pieces of music. When the concept of music videos came about in the 90s I really had visions of music videos of people with disabilities. I do not know how politically correct this would be, probably could be argued the disability focus in these music videos might be somewhat discriminatory but the project would certainly be fun if not liberating. Another group like the Vogues, who I really like a lot was the Four Seasons. And like the Vogues a lot of the Four Seasons music struck particular chords with me. I always liked Walk Like A Man but after my accident the whole concept of walking like a man was hilarious. I sort of like the idea the back of my mind for years and just smiled whenever that song came on during “golden oldies” weekend or whenever. It was when I went to work with the independent living center that I really began to cook on the idea of doing something musical/theatrical with people in wheelchairs. Of course we had a number of people who are paraplegic and staff as well as quadriplegics. I thought it would be great if we could get the music of Walk Like A Man playing in the background while a bunch of guys in chairs did sort of a locomotion across the viewfinder and lip-synch the lyrics. I just think this would be the best video.I can see three or four paras rolling across the stage together in formation lip-synching “walk walk walk”with four or five quads off to the side doing the chorus.

Of course this is just a pipe dream even less than a dream, really since I no longer work for the independent living center. The concept probably isn't even as hilarious as I tend to think it is and probably way from being politically correct but still what fun it would be to put Walk Like A Man into video format. Who knows maybe someday.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlHsOmTPqaI&index=1&list=RDYlHsOmTPqaIthe

Walk like a man
Oh, how you tried to cut me down to size
Tellin' dirty lies to my friends
But my own father said "Give her up, don't bother
The world isn't comin' to an end"
(He said)
Walk like a man, talk like a man
Walk like a man my son
No woman's worth crawlin' on the earth
So walk like a man, my son
Bye bye baby, I don't-a mean maybe
Gonna get along somehow
Soon you'll be cryin' on account of all your lyin'
Oh yeah, just look who's laughin' now
(I'm gonna)
Walk like a man, fast as I can
Walk like a man from you
I'll tell the world "forget about it, girl"
And walk like a man from you

I Hear What I Want To Hear

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQQuQbtIsdY

THE VOGUES
"The Land Of Milk And Honey"

Play "The Land Of Milk An…" on Amazon Music

Yes it's true for most of my life I spoke devil
And I did my best to dodge anything that looked at all like work
I was prone to standing on corners smokin' cigarettes
And talkin' about anything I didn't know
Oh, how I needed to go

Please take me to the land of milk and honey
To the land of love and sunshine
To the land of milk and honey, Please take me

Time passed and I got a little older
Takin' on trouble just a little bit harder and a little bit bolder
I was thinkin' colder, fightin', lyin', cheatin' & cryin', I gave up
Givin'-up the voices of evil that were pullin' me down
You know, I was givin' up ground

Please take me to the land of milk and honey
To the land of love and sunshine
To the land of milk and honey, Please take me

Then it came and it sounded like thunder
Shot of light in the dark of the night and you were really there
Tellin' me that you care, your warm love took away the cold
And were you walked the cobblestones turned to gold
And when you touch my hair you know take me there

Please take me to the land of milk and honey
To the land of love and sunshine
To the land of milk and honey, Please take me

One of the songs that pulled me through my accident in 1966 was a piece of music by a group called The Vogues. This seemed to be a time from 1964 through 67 or 68 the Vogues music seemed to be everywhere. These guys were overshadowed of course by the Beatles but I always like their music especially In the Land Milk And Honey. For some reason I thought the song was written especially for me especially when I was in recovery from my initial accident. The reason this song meant so much of me was for one line in one verse… “Fighting for my life and teaching karate”. I was enchanted the first time I heard this. I envisioned some special forces guy, who had come to an epiphany in his life and waded through struggle and war and finally got into a good place. I started hearing the song a couple months before my accident. The song took even more precedence in my life after my trauma ,and I seemed to be acting out the struggle, it seemed, just what I needed just to stay alive, to live.

I got on with my life and so did the music. The Vogues music lost favor and soon disappeared from playlists delegated to elevators and grocery stores as background noise. In comparison the Vogues music was wholesome compared to the music of the day. As the years passed the Vogues music became part of the Golden oldies playlists which is all right with me. I loved the sensation I got every time this piece of music came on the radio. I even bought their cassette of greatest hits. I would listen to the selections until the poor batteries ran down in my little meager cassette player.

“Fighting for my life and teaching karate”. I was sure I was only one of the few who knew they were writing about black belt in karate because you can only teach karate once you get a black belt. And of course “fighting for your life…” The guy was involved in the Vietnam war, in the deepest part, relying on his martial arts to stay alive. I was one of the only few wwho knew this.

I don't know why today, I decided to go back and find the lyrics, this piece of work that has meant so much to me. I just wanted to see the words “fighting for your life and teaching karate” written out verifying my elite-ness. The search was no problem, I found one of the YouTube videos and played the version that looked clearest. Sure enough, I heard the line “… teaching karate”. The next search for the lyrics which was a little more difficult but not bad. I pulled up the lyrics and scanned them and couldn't find the words. I couldn't believe it. Somehow I found the only version of the song on the Internet that had put up the wrong lyrics or a distortion of the lyrics. I went to another Internet address that purported to have the lyrics and search those came up wanting again. Then I had to realize the horrible truth that I had miss heard the song for 50 years! I have heard what I want to hear not what was there. My mind slipped in the words that were not there..

I still love the music, particularly this piece for what it got me through regardless of how I bastardize the piece in my mind but I have to come clean now those were not the words I was supposed to hear. I'm still having to process all this. And it's a little difficult but not important and all the other things in my life which I think are. I still wish I was in The Land Of Milk And Honey.

Meetings

I have two competing meetings today. This is great I love the fact that I have to make a choice between two meetings. In all fairness/honesty let me first say that the one meeting, the board meeting for Utah non-nonprofit housing, the organization that owns the property in which I live. The organization which kind of bent the rules which allow me to get in to this unit literally the same day that I applied. The Utah nonprofit housing or meeting is the meeting I should have chosen to go to but I did not.

Today Thursday which means that it's coffee social day. I sit next to Pat who also serves on the board of directors can take that position quite seriously. I like Pat a lot, I've grown to like Pat a lot when I first met her Pat annoyed the hell out of me Pat is one of those folk who believes they know everything. She would not admit to such but she is but she is also genuinely lovable. Pat informed me when I rolled into the coffee social that today was board meeting and was I going. No, I said, I was not going I had a previous engagement.

As you know for the past couple of months actually since September I have had Next Chapter book group every Thursday from 4 to 5 PM. This was that reading group my former boss got me into. I've really grown to enjoy this book group as much as I enjoy Pat. In fact I had no trouble making the decision to attend Next Chapter. I was quite taken aback at how quickly I made this decision and not really that I know why. I got to thinking. I didn't get a notification (that I can see) of the meeting for Utah nonprofit housing however, I know that this meeting is a reoccurring meeting every 2 to 3 months. I usually attend I'm proud of my attendance record. In fact I remember last meeting I chose the Utah nonprofit group over Next Chapter. I took a few minutes to figure out my decision which was at Next Chapter we were actually finishing the book we've been reading as a group set September. I felt I had a commitment to finish the book with the crew. I also remember in the past when it was just a regular reading session I abandoned the reading group to attend my Utah nonprofit board meeting. I think I made the right decision. Pat said she was let the board know that I was doubled booked. She volunteered to bring back any materials she deems important.

I was surprised it took nearly the whole hour to finish the book. There is just one chapter left which we read. This is the first book in a series of three next week we will start the second in the series and everyone is looking forward to the event. Unless we are finishing the book when the next meeting of the Utah nonprofit convenes I will be at the Utah nonprofit board meeting doing my duty . Attending this meeting is the least I can do for having such a great place to live.

Every Picture Tells A Story

One of the things I found extremely interesting how many photo opportunities one runs into just by showing up – – showing up to anything. What excites me to is that we live in an age where everyone has access to the photo device one sort or another usually cell phones at least I do. Many times I let great photo opportunities pass just because I don't take the time to take advantage of a photo opportunity. I've lost many of the great photography moments I have encountered. Even when I've taken images, good images, I cannot find the images on the different sources of backup I have: hard drives, thumb drives, memory chips etc. which is basically to say that image is lost if I cannot pull it up. Sometimes, I can search long enough to find the image that I want. If I were smart – – and I always say I'm going to do this but I don't – – I should create a file just for this genre of images.

I'm trying very hard not to turn this post into a holiday theme based comment. Valentine's Day, Bah humbug!. I've never really been into Valentine's Day. I remember in school having to make 20 to 30 Valentines one for each of my classmates in grade school. This event took forever and the only productive thing I gained out of the whole operation I learned to spell the word “from”. After writing the word 25 to 30 times it is and always will be ingrained in my brain. I don't know why Valentine's Day has been so difficult for me. I just couldn't pull it off. Maybe because I cannot put myself second which is really what I guess Valentine's Day is all about. I was still short on producing a Valentine's Day gift or even card for my wives over the years. Some days I got close but I was never had the funds to do decent Valentine's Day. I don't know how the other guys do it. Taking their wives out to dinner, purchasing a dozen roses (jacked up skyhigh for the day pricewise) or buying candy. My dad and how to do it. There are never serious valentines day gifts but I think my mom always appreciate them. Truth be known I believe she would appreciate something more romantic than what she got. My dad was working guy, he worked hard, I am surprised dad got anything for mom but he did and maybe that is the lesson in life, no matter how hard to get that gift or something special you get the item.. I never did. I could blame it on my poverty or having to get out of the car or van on a cold and blustery January/February day to get the Valentine's Day gift(it was so hard to do in a wheelchair, is that just pathetic or what). Even when I did make the effort I always got overwhelmed and could get the gift.And there, I have failed I have turned this into a Valentines day post. I'm just a weak.

I don't know why, I don't even try to make my February letters to the granddaughters, Valentine oriented. It takes so little to purchase a Valentine card and insert that with the February letter but I don't. My mom always did I am just a failure at this kind of stuff. I mean I could hit the drugstores tomorrow, the day after the event by tons of Valentines and store them for next year. But I doubt I will do that.

Back to images – – I actually went to look for files on this computer and a pathetic attempt to try to find images that would illustrate what I'm talking about but I couldn't find anything that I want. I have this one image of a high heel shoe that I found just sitting on a table I think. To the incredible picture. Instead I'm using this image of dashed roses somehow this image says it all. May you survive this Valentine's Day.

Thank You DD

I never get tired of being surprised at how good life is. I cherish the little things that make my life as incredible as it is. I do not deserve all the surprises that I get. I worried all day yesterday that I put my pants that any minute. I really felt unsettled. I surmise this was because I rushed myself through my bowel program yesterday morning. This feeling of unease plagued me all day long subsiding when I lay down for bed. I worried all night about getting up and going to my Assist meeting this morning. I could easily have called in and told David I could not make the meeting and he would have no problem. After all, a couple years ago it was at this meeting I dumped a major load in my pants,so he knew what the consequences could be. I did call in to see if there would be a meeting and there was. I was still feeling a definite risk but not enough to miss the meeting. I saddled up and went in.

This was a good move on my part. It seemed each minute of distance between my apartment and my meeting, my stomach settled down more and more. By the time I got to Library station was I feeling pretty good, good enough to stop in to Dunkin' Donuts to get some coffee and a couple of donut holes.

I find it pretty interesting that Dunkin' Donuts will risk not selling by publishing how many calories the products are. For example don't holes are 70 cal each. I wish I had the rest of the information I needed to calculate how many points each donut hole is but one donut hole can't be very much. I started the process when I got in line thinking they would just order two donut holes, one chocolate and one glazed. By the time that it was my turn to order I had fudged my order by two to chocolate and two glazed donut holes. I still felt pretty good about myself even though I had weakened significantly. 280 calories that's double. I ordered a small coffee then zipped across the street to the library. I had a couple minutes before I had to be at the meeting so I thought I would have at least two of my little donut holes.

In the warming morning, February sun I gazed into my sack was totally shocked. There were at least 10 donut holes looking back at me! I ordered four but there is at least four chocolate and six glazed. I thought about going back and letting them know someone had made a mistake but in my heart I knew

no mistake had been made. Somebody thought they were being kind to me (and they were, I appreciate the gesture). This many donut holes of course is a lot more than 4×7 calories. This was a gift of sorts which I will treat as such. I'm not going to gobble them up all in one setting but enjoy these donut pieces over the next day with morning coffee. And maybe, just maybe tomorrow on Valentine's Day I will make up a story in my head that someone sent me donut holes for Valentine's Day sort of like how I may believe that the first Friday lunch with my birthday party.

The Cleaner

I am working on my second year here at the apartment complex. I moved in here when we decided to end the marriage and my habitation at the Murray house. (Of course, you dedicated readers know that because I've chronicled some of that information already in this document) For most of the first year I survived without any help in keeping my apartment clean. Actually, I did have some assistance from family, a previous home health professional who is kept in contact following my mood and helped clean this unit before an apartment inspection. I really appreciated her willingness to help “straighten” up my unit. You would think I'd be interested in something like this on my own. Truthfully, I have never been very good at keeping my environment, my personal environment ordered. Gradeschool desk, bedroom, work area, study and always been chaotic at best left to my discretion.

As Fall approached last year I had to do something. I really begin to feel my mental health kind of suffering from living in the mess of my apartment. I mean it wasn't the kind of stuff that Department of Health would come in and shut me down. It was just messy and I was tired of the mess. We have a general laundry on every floor, you know, coin-op washer dryer. To get to the laundry I have to pass the community bulletin board and there I saw those for me advertisements for cleaning services. This was posted by Cindy. I took a picture of the ad with my cell phone then asked the department manager but she knew of “Cindy”. Jennifer, the building manager, is a personal friend of Cindy. Cindy has been cleaning units at this apartment complex for years. She had a number of clients here. Jennifer gave her major thumbs up.

Honestly, I would probably have engaged the services of a cleaning person sooner had I better control our knowledge of my finances. This is a long story not to be told here right now. Maybe someday. Regardless of finances I had to take a chance and get the cleaning person. I really like Cindy. She works hard and she talks to me. I know this sounds pathetic but I really yammer a lot when she is here. She wanted me here for the first couple of visits just to find out what I wanted in the area of a clean apartment, how clean, do you want this clean, you want that straightened, where can I put this? We have a pretty laid-back arrangement we do about $20 an hour and I talk a lot. We usually do about three or four hours of work but Cindy charges me for like 2 ½ usually 50 bucks. She likes the talk, she says that talk helps her concentrate on cleaning.

I'm pretty cheap meaning they don't spend a lot of money on stuff other than rent, food and Internet/Amazon prime movies usually. I have enough to pay 50 bucks every two weeks or so for apartment cleaning. I call the service mental health. I love the feel of the place when Cindy is finished. I don't want to move for fear of messing things up or getting things dirty. I just sit in a quiet of my clean apartment and enjoy.

Focus!

I got a package of frozen Italian sausages at the food bank Saturday, remember ?I also received two colors of peppers and a bag full jalapenos nice big green ones. I don't know what inspired me to do some cooking Sunday, today, perhaps it's the fact that I never really put the sausages away, like I should and of course the sausages thawed. I'm not above throwing the room temperature and pieces of thawed meat back in the freezer for a later date, but I thought why not I have everything I need and see what happens? Focus As I was feeling pretty decent, even though I had not slept as long as I'd like, last night, I was functioning pretty decent. I must confess however, I have been binging all weekend with my Amazon prime. I don't know what has gotten into me but I been working on watching a of number cable/TV series. This weekend it was Extant and Humans seasons one and two. It's not like I'm glued to the television/computer screen. This weekend I been washing clothes so I use the time to hang up these items as TV time. The same holds true as I was processing dinner. I don't not know where I got the idea. I possibly had witnessed it on some trendy cable cooking channel or seeing a color picture on the back of food as one or in one of the magazines my previous wife always brought home from trips to the doctor. In all honesty I have lifted a couple of magazines from waiting rooms as well and the kind that deal with homemaking with great images of perfect meals. Meals,I would like to make. So I chopped an onion, I love hand chopping onions special the way chopping onions makes my hands smell after the process next,I chopped the red pepper and yellow pepper given me, part of a birthday gift/basket. The food pantry also gave me a handful of beautiful jalapeno peppers and I had just watched a you tube video on making refried beans for the used jalapeno peppers cleaned, deseeded , and diced. I really wanted slice and dice jalapenos . I also added cabbage into the mix-- I really have atenjoyed developing a relationship with cabbage. One of the reasons I binge while I work to have the noise on in the background which I was definitely enjoying prepping for dinner. I was ready. The vegetables processed and ready, sausages thawed. I put the largest skillet I have on the range turned on the heat. I dumped in the sausages and set the Italian hot tubes of meat to cooking. I like to season the frying pan with the protein's juices then put in the vegetables which I did. I covered the skillet and thought why not take a moment and see what was viewing screen. I swear it was less than three minutes before I smelled something weird. I immediately looked over to the stove and there was a cloud of white smoke hanging strangely in the air looking like fog. Truthfully, the surface of my stove was a mess and when I started this afternoon's cooking project I just push things out of the way of the burners I was going to use. In doing so (because my control knobs are on the front of my cooking range, I noticed one of the knobs to “2” or low. On top of the front left burner was a bamboo trivet a cute coiled artifact from my last marriage. There was also the plastic top cover from my coffee cup, from Thursdays coffee social from here at the complex, collapsing in on itself renderingup up black acrid smoke– – the trivet had a bizarre white cloud of smoke hovering over the stove emanating from the bottom of the trivet. Jolted back into reality I powered by chair over and shoved that the the patio door. I was warned earlier in the week, for some reason, not the open the door to the hallway because it was set off all the alarms. This is okay with me I was totally embarrassed. I have been plagued the entire time I've been at this apartment at any time anything at all generated from the stove/oven my fire alarm would start sounding. Thank goodness not today and there was a lot of smoke in the apartment. Luckily, the smoke did not affect my dinner cooking in the frying pan next burner. Nobody came down, not pounding madly on the door. I was okay, the dinner was okay I dodged another bullet and enjoyed a great dinner in the process. I shudder to think of what could've happened. I put these visions out of my head as soon as they come: neighbors madly pounding on my door, fire engine screaming into the parking lot, spending the night at the shelter because I burnt down the entire complex. From now on I'm going to be more cautious and just listen to whatever on my flatscreen in the other room when I am cooking.

Why Pay. More?

It's weird using the food bank/pantry even though I keep telling myself I don't need to. I have enough funding to shop at the market across the street but I like using the food bank next door. Using the food bank for me is kind of a treat. Living at Plymouth View is the first time I've used a food bank. I really kind of thought I make too much money to use the food bank with what I had coming in monthly but then I started thinking about my funding and the fact that eligibility for the food bank is done on what is called “adjusted income” the money left over after all the bills have been paid. And I pay every month $300 off the top of my Medicare/retirement for home health services. And this payment drops me below poverty level. Unbelievable. Again, I could still make it without food bank but since it is across the street from my front door and I'm eligible or not?

I often sent people to the food pantries when I worked at Access Utah. After all, 99% of my calls came from people with disabilities, living on fixed incomes, below the poverty line. I don't know how many went to food pantry but a lot of them should have taken advantage of the program. I think it's a hoot. Using my local food bank has been quite an inspiration. I understand a lot of the comments made by some of the folks I used to counsel. I had a couple of chronic callers who, seriously, but not accept any food unless it came from Whole Foods or some other high-end store. These callers would actually turn down food if it that food, came from the food pantry. I can somewhat sympathize with these callers now that I use the pantry up to three times a month. Many times the food provided his past the use date, and canned goods are usually items folks wanted out of their pantries during the food drives. Not very much fun food that's for sure.

February weather returned this morning. The temperature was in the 40s low 40s. My food pantry is open on Saturdays from 10 to 12. The process is you must bring your own bag or box or receptacle for the food you get. After you are registered as a recipient, I show up at the pantry during the hours the pantry is open and stand in line until the door chime rings and then am I allowed into the pantry to get my food. Mind you this is in good weather and bad weather, cold weather, hot weather dry weather and let weather. Today there was no – – not much snow – – the wind was cold. And wish I had dressed warmer. Their old ladies in line, old guys with walker's, mothers with babes in arms and gang bangers with the their pants almost falling off. We're all in line waiting for the chime. I'm sure they think I'm kind of weird because I kind of cherry pick but I want and turn back, much of the food they offer to put in my box. I do not want any cold cereal, canned fruit, and usually not in the great products i.e. white bread, high caloric dark bread, cookies, cakes, donuts tortillas, Eastern Indian pocket breads etc., etc. I do choose their frozen meats everything from pork chops, hamburger, ham slices, chicken, turkey's (in season) one person I know got three turkeys unbelievable, today I got hot italian sausage. There is also the opportunity to go around the back of the building where there another room where you can get fresh vegetables/fruit and more great stuff. Today I got eggplant, Kiwis and oranges. These are all kinds things I could've gotten from the market across the street but because I have the food pantry I didn't have to go to the market. I do not have to pay for these items nor do I have to go across the street to fetch them.

Right now I use the food bank/entry, because I want to not because I have to. I once had a line of home that I wrote about how I used public transit because I want to not because I had to. Now I use public transit because I have to and it's okay. I assume the same will be for food pantries of the time comes.

The Fool On The Hill

I had lunch and coffee today with my friend Lori at the community college it was a good meeting.We agreed to meet at 10:30 AM in the cafeteria. Lori has to be at work at 1 o'clock minute of building but we always push our meetings to the point where she is usually a bit late by the time that she gets to her office area.. We do not speak about earth shattering things but the conversation is nice, more appropriate than our texting's at least my side of the texts usually. Lori usually by some lunch stuffs and shares. Today it was fruit and some sort of deep-fried bread stuff with some Italian seasonings of some sort. We talked longer than they should have. I have gotten calls from the people from DRAC regarding a piece of legislation being heard today the Capitol Hill. The legislation was to do with the local Americans With Disabilities Act and how the law was prosecuted in the area. I think the major focus of this hearing was regarding frivolous type lawsuits. People working the law to make money for my sake as opposed to trying to bring about more accessible services and programs and vendors from the public. The hearing was at 3:40. I felt sure that I had enough time sending Lori to a to get on a bus and head up to the state capital. I was wrong. I was focused and I triedwith all my might but I did not get to the hearing until about 4:20 PM. I'm still trying to sift through what was going on that I did not make it. I knew I was going to be a little late but had no idea I would be so late. I'm sure the dreadful think I'm a real jerk because I can be selected these things but they should be glad I even showed. I really want to see what the hearing was about and I really have a difficult time justifying staying away since the hearing specified the ADA.

I wish I read my emails better, Barbara poorly specified exactly where and where the hearing is to be. I still wanted around the Capitol building and finally over to the site building the House building and even then took me half an hour it seemed to find the committee room. I finally got inside and the meeting was quite interesting. Some of the testimony got a little point in here and there. I was a bit embarrassed by some of the testimony given by folks on my side of the aisle. Disjointed testimony sometimes not even having relevance to the topic and all of the testimony seem to go long. I was having trouble peeingg all day. Not necessarily actually peeing but having to pee. I want him to look like the chairman was getting to the end of his rope about ready to shut down the whole process and sprinted out to the bathroom and did my business. I felt I had done enough it was almost 5:30 PM and I want to make it home not really sure how late the bus would leave the building. I was pretty sure I could catch the 6:15 PM bus at least. I made the bus but realized that I no longer had my bus pass! I wasn't about to go traipsing through all my back steps through the capital but I had the bus pass when I got to the Capital. I Was Too Exhausted to Worry about It When I Got on the Bus. A Kid and white shirt and tie asked if I was, go to the end of the Mark I answered in the affirmative. White shirt and tie informed me that he found my bus pass and had given it to my friend Andrew Riggle. It Andrew had bypass I would be able to pick it up for sure on Monday when he goes to work. I don't know how much I would need the Bus Pass over the weekend but then this kid, whose name is Sam and who is a intern at the capital gave me his capital bus pass indicating he did not need his at this point in because he had another bus pass from the University of Utah where he was a student. What a nice guy? I kind of wish yet not offered the past is hard not to take it so I took it the bus driver was set to give me a package of tokens which I would rather have had but actually did really matter of validity of a right anyway and I wouldn't miss that much riding if I didn't ride over the weekend – – but now I even had a bus pass if I needed.

I didn't give any testimony, I was not prepared to nor was I asked. I showed up though even if I was a bit of a flake showing up late. I'm glad though that I went it was good to be part of the process and good to be up on Capitol Hill. This is where I really need to be.