So Long 2016,

I'm actually feeling pretty decent for Saturday even though I'm locked into my apartment complex block. Actually go across the street if I want I can go south to the coffee shop and a very authentic Hispanic restaurant or across the Redwood Road  and go to true value and possibly a couple fast food joints that are less than desirable to me right now. One is an Arctic Circletthe other one is a Hawaiian food joint. In fact I stopped there yesterday to get a burger I really thought they had burgers but as wrong. There will crestfallen when I looked over the menu and decide to leave. If I wants pam I can  stay home and open a can. If I want to terrorize myself I can travel in the road  until I get to an intersection right now that's pretty darn spooky even for me. I guess I could flag down a 217 and right South Clay got to a major intersection with amenities this be a lot of work on a cold day..  It's New Year's Eve probably best to stay inside and hang out.  

I am doing okay have more than enough food to worry about. I got Italian coffee beans yesterday, and one of the residents dumped a lot of food on the giveaway shelf in the great room yesterday which I  ans of food: fruit, vegetables , juice,, milk in a box. I could've gotten more  but don't know what have you done with it.  I have a bottle of wine in the fridge but I've been holding onto for years tonight  might be a good night drink it – – vampire wine seriously that's what is called. Either way I think it's good to be quiet night. There was talk about having some sort of a  senior function in the great room for New Year's Eve at 2 o'clock this afternoon but I don't know if that is goingto happen and even if it does happen to know if I'd want to go to that.you have a military guy committed again some sort of renewal comes seems to all the old folks. I should go take pictures just because..


I guess I should say something about the end of the year even though it's kind of  trite. I hate to think that I'm going to say  I'm glad to see this year comes with an end.  I hate  the fact that my marriage came in to an end, I hate the fact that I lost my house  but I guess I have moved on and I must accept these things and I have been pleased to be living where I am I'm happy to have the capital that I have  the ability to work with what I've got. I'm glad to lost weight  and I look forward to the next year.  Still have mixed feelings about how this year and the but such is life… Happy new year.

Hunkering Down

I'm stranded we know that from yesterday's post. I guess I'm not totally stranded.. I really want to risk my life I can roll on the side of the road/street and get to what I need to get to – – the local market most of the time. It's risky but doable. Then there's always the phone my brother or someone else who has a vehicle and they can go pick something up for me at the market if I really need to have that item. But I think mostly it's just in my mind that I feel I'm locked in.. It's a nice place to be locked in. I'm warm I have food I prepared well for this kind of isolation and is all kinds of people around me. Granted, there older that I am many cases by decades but still the good folk. I guess my frustration also is the fact that I'm stuck in the middle of two major holidays, two federal holidays aand there is no one in their offices that has any power to make any change. I just have to be patient I cannot fault folks choosing to use their annual leave between holidays are losing it at the end of the year. I have been there I've been one of those people who couldn't be got hold of over this time.

This morning was “coffee Time” that time every Thursday morning when residents/apartment dwellers get together and chat. It's the same group of people with a coffee klatch– – some gossip, some real news and some feeling of togetherness. There is usually a member of the organization/management at this gathering and this person is by training a social worker but she doesn't do any direction or leading just sits in. Interesting. I'm a bit of a novelty in this group being the only male – – there been a couple other guys that's dropped in often on since I've been here but on the consistent one. I am just recently, the last couple of weeks, been speaking up more and more feeling like I belong.. This is been a good feeling even one that has me looking forward to the meetings.. This morning I brought up the issue of the snow in many of these folks use power chairs to assist their mobility even if they can walk short distances. They all know what I am talking about as far as not being able to access sidewalks or bus stops during the snow.. They'll feel something needs to be done, that local elected folk should do something about pressing local government types to do some snow removal that would assist us at least get the bus stops are the market across the street safely. Right now you're pretty much constrained until after the first of the year when the bureaucrats get back to their offices in the decisions can be made to or not to remove the snow. It would be nice if waterfront would push in and start thaw but I'm sure there will be another storm before then.

Stranded!!

It's cold now the storm has moved on and I am  left to deal with its result.. Woke up very early this morning I think I was excited about the prospect of having my power chair repaired and maybe taking it out for a run. I was not being naive in respect that the mere fact that it snowed yesterday or day before – – on Christmas Day – – I knew I'd be in for some challenges but I still want to see just how far I can get with this piled up snow. I really want to get to my bank so I can get my counter checks, since my regular checks have still not arrived.. I was a little bummed that my branch which I used at the community college is closed over holiday break. It does not really surprised me but I was really hoping for more..

I quickly finished my morning activities as best I could then got dressed in a great white coat and glove to head out to get to where I can get. I was quite dismayed in that the snow had been removed only as far as the apartment boundaries.. After that the sidewalks and not been touched and their great piles of snow in the intersection or curb cuts. I was at least hoping driveways particularly from the apartment complex to the street were fairly clear. Luckily one is which allows me at least to cross the street.. But after that snow blockades. The streets themselves are clear and if I just get out into them I'll be okay . Actually I spend about 15 minutes shoveling snow off of one sidewalk entry only to find that once I got to the main sidewalk I was confronted with a wall still even at the UTA bus stop. I was really hoping UTA would maintain their bus stops at least to some point of access.. It's been a couple days now since the storm hit we should have better access than what we have now.

I rolled,in the street, facing traffic, on Redwood Road. It's always surprising to me ho lite traffic is on these roads during the day.I was able to get to the market and the merchants in that little ville. There were a couple of times that oncoming traffic came pretty close but overall it was a decent roll . So fortunate that not only is there a market but a pharmacy as well oon this block. I was able to get fresh fruit, lube and clearance items which was kind of fun I Which I'm really glad.

I have to admit I'm feeling pretty landlocked right now.. I can see I really have my work cut out for me to see if I can get better service on the sidewalks around our facility. This is going to require was likely meeting with our talking to the mayor, Councilman//woman as well as Marion the director of Utah nonprofit who I think wields for a little power. Hopefully I can also enlist folks here at the apartment complex. He would meet all our combined needs to be able to travel on clear sidewalks during the snow season… This can be done.

Put Me In Coach I'm Ready To Play

.I knew this day was going to be a challenge from the onset. Even if 8 inches of snow had not fallen over the holiday and even if the temperature was above freezing today would still be challenging. Today's the day that outside medical indicated I could get my chair repairs in a two hour period of time. The only problem is how do I get my power chair from where I am in Taylorsville to alpine medical particularly if I am not in the chair? This question has been plaguing me even before I set the appointment. Initially, Alpine indicated it would take a couple of days to service the chair but later they called back indicating they could cause the repair in two hours.
Two hours I can do in my manual chair even though I haven't used my manual chair hardly at all since my surgery.. So I've little intimidated from that standpoint. However, I have to do what I have to do. I'd hoped I could get someone to take my chair in with the truck like my brother or my friend Duane or anyone. The great snowfall of course is a major challenge even if I could've got to the van I have been informed that the battery is dead in the van is covered in snow. I guess it could been dug out but I couldn't really ask Carl to do that – – he would and so what have Mark A but it was just too short notice. And Dianne is right for gotta stop asking Carl to do this kind of stuff it's just not fair and possible too dangerous.
I had hoped that in the worst case scenario that I could actually just drive my chair with me inside to the shop and there have someone help me transfer to another chair while they worked on my power chair. I never considered going in my chair before because the procedure would take a couple of days. So now it was an option but when I called and ask themthey indicated that that would be okay if I could transfer myself they cannot help me which is really kind of stupid because Alpine haslifts and could transfer me over. I decided to use the cab who has transported me before. I did not think it would be an issue to transport my power chair without me being in it.. Well when I called I got the answering service and they never know anything.. So I have to wait till the manager got in let me know they would be able to transport the chair. Up to that point I was getting quite discouraged because everything seemed to be not working. The answering service was sure they cannot transport my chair without me . And alpine medical need to have a commitment that I would be there for my 1 o'clock appointment. It did not look like I was going to make it. Finally, Ute Cab's called to advise me they could transport the chair – – I've given up and called Alpine told them I would not be able to make the appointment. Luckily each time I called to cancel I had received the answering machine. I was able to contact Alpine and let them know I was still coming in and luckily for me they had not cancel my appointment. Now it was just a matter of spending a couple of hours in my manual chair of the repairs being made..
I'm holding my breath have never done this kind of thing before with cabs and such. I have to admit I will be totally excited if in fact the chairs repaired and quite usable again. The lesson I have learned once again is not to give up, keep stepping up to the plate and keep on swinging.

Christmas Miracle

It's Christmas – – the most wonderful time of the year – – and I'm sitting here alone in my apartment cooking a roast. Last year I was sitting alone in my room at the skilled nursing facility because I screwed up being for and got my wife angry at me by inadvertently making fun of my daughter. The year before that the family went to Washington to have Christmas wit Brooks in Washington when he was living up there. So can be used to being alone on Christmas day.. It's okay. I think over the years I've developed sort of a fantasy that I live out in my head on certain items of things in one of his Christmas Day or the whole Christmas season. I like to believe my Christmas is a compilation of all the Christmas scenes in the best Christmas movies and Saturday evening Post covers.

The snow came last night and quite surprised me. They been talking about a large storm coming in – – they always talk about large weather events coming in that breakout or fall apart just as they come into our area. So I was in my room all around 10 or 11 last night big window which faces out and is well lit by an overhead street lamp and I could see a major snow dump going on.. In fact I watch the snow tumbledown until 2 AM when I forced myself to go to bed.. It was a magical night.

I slept until about 8 AM I hardly ever happens except one except when I go to bed at 2 AM.. I admired the snowfall got ready for the day. A couple days ago I stopped in at the market purchased a $24 roast.. The rest is beautiful, fairly well marbled and is named Chuck. I searched various cooking methods o YouTube and got a pretty good idea on how to prepare the meat.. I know it sounds funny but this is exactly what I wanted to do today. I think going back to my fantasy concept I'm preparing a meal and great Christmas meal and family would love. Last night I even wished I'd gone to the liquor store and gotten a small bottle of booze to make a toast and I may still do that at New Year's knows?

I called a few friends and family this mornin or they called me. I wish you a Merry Christmas and advised them to stay home and not to worry about coming round if they had a mind to. I went down to the front of the building to check on the laundromat to see if there were any machines available. I stopped in the lobby where people have set up a candy shrine. Residents are dumping off candy and other goodies in the main area for the rest of the apartment folk. I've been giving almond Roca which I got from the drugstore couple blocks away. I've been used for gifts this year. I had one can left over so I decided to take it down and drop it off on the candy pile. When I got down to the lobby the family who isusing the great room for a family dinner saw me adding my contribution to the five. There the family of one of the folks here in the apartments. Anyway, my neighbor was having the dinner had her daughter put together a plate, a real roast beef dinner with desserts! This was my Christmas miracle. It was odd because last night watching the snow fall I wonder where the Christmas miracle was this year. Not that I expect to have a Christmas miracle every year but one usually shows up somewhere along the line in this year's Christmas dinner was mine.. Merry Christmas and God bless us everyone.

High Probability Of Snow

Today is Christmas Eve I am amazed to find myself in my own apartment, divorced and trying to get by. I tend to think I'm doing okay but still I feel paranoid time to time, waiting for sucker Punch come out nowhere and Roundhouse me down to the mats. I seem to be living here – – actually I am kind of proud of myself for going to the mailbox everyday and digging out my mail and actually opening the documents as they come.. I don't like doing this but I'm forcing myself. I really hate EOBs(Explanation Of Benefits). I love the way they always write on the top of the document “This is not a bill”. Yeah so? It shows you what the not been a cover which means there's a bill out there with your name on it you just have got it yet. But I know it's coming it's just a matter of time. I used to live in denial and just throw these documents away. Then there's the never ending parade of federal documents mostly from Medicare about like anything. Most of these documents are benign but you have to be tense like when the dentist drilling on your head and you are novocained into oblivion but you still don't relax fear the dentist will drill through the barrier of numbness. I know the second out of my guard down at the mailbox Bam Pow thereyou go down to the mats..

I dropped off a Christmas gift to the R A – – resident advisor – – who of course asked me what I was doing for Christmas and I told her “nothing”.. And I got to thinking that's pretty much been the case for the last couple years. Dianne usually went over to the kids place on Christmas Eve and spent the night. I assume that's what she's doing this year. I got a couple halfhearted invitations but there still is the problem of getting me into where ever I might be invited. I'm okay with being home Christmas. I went to the market yesterday and got a fine roast. I'm kind of excited about cooking the meat up.I might even bake something cake, cookies or roles that come in a container.. I could do anything. I must admit I have a little bit of CEE (Christmas Eve Envy)I think I might be a little jealous of people and places to go and things to do on Christmas eve. Catholics have midnight mass usually after a family dinner/party. My old buddy Dr. McIntyre always had a great party at his home on Christmas Eve. We even tried to have parties at my home When I was growing up with Our neighborhood and even the extended family which was kind of okay. And once, on the first Christmas of the first marriage, we had a midnight dinner on Christmas Eve with all of our old roommates  and is one of the best memories I have of the holidays.

I kind of like the feel of Christmas Eve – – I kind of wish I'd gone to the liquor store and got some vodka or gin to have one drink over the holiday but I think too late now. It's raining is a high probability of snow…

What Ever The Process Is…

Thank God it is the first day of winter! From here on out days light will begin lengthening as we head towards brighter and warmer times.. However today is cold and gray for the first day winter. I would just as soon not go out but I am afraid I still have a little Christmas shopping to do if I dare. I believe it will take one bus ride at least but all on Redwood Road so it straight shot transiting. But before I do that I am going to have to get Jim to shore up my chair to the point where it will be rideable for any great distance.

The time has been literally months since I started the process of of getting repairs done on my chair. I was not so desperate to be comical if not ironic. I literally have no arm on the left side of my chair. Thank goodness my scoliosis ppulls me to the right side and I am belted into my chair. My foot pedals are so damaged that can barely keep myself in my chair. I have to actually get back and pull my feet back under the foot pedals in order to get anywhere. I'm going to call my provider this afternoon to see what we can do this is ridiculous gotta be able to sit in my chair. In fact yesterday I was up front waiting for the mailman to finish the delivery and there's actually a Med source guy outfront working on a chair. I was so envious of the person having the chair repaired.. I spoke to the guy see if there were any options for me but it was more of the same: repairs must be submitted to insurance and wait wait wait. However I result myself for this and I can get b though I looked pathetic… So what's new?

It's Christmas week and it's winter solstice. I just spoke with my brother who has been battling cancer over the last couple years and is grateful to hear he was okay or is okay right now. I'm so thankful to be as healthy as I am right now even with a root canal done earlier in the week. I'm still getting some discomfort from the procedure and the healing process but I'm really thankful to be me,, be here at the apartments and because far along in the process whatever the process is.

Tooth Ache

I have to admit I was not broken hearted this morning when I spoke to Dave and he informed me that there would be no meeting this morning of the Assist advisory board . I just didn't feel up to transiting all the way into the city today not after yesterday's challenge..

I suffered through the night with the molar that seem to have gone rogue back my mouth. Actually it suffered with the to fall through the weekend. It got worse and worse and even though I took my ibuprofen regimen the night before the the drug did little to get the pain through the night .. I got up shaved got dresse and waited for 8:00 AM. At the stroke of 8 AM I called Dr. Jones my dentist.. Of course all I got was the recording which told me that no one was until 9 AM. I got dressed and cleaned up around the house and called at 9 AM and left a message.. I got involved in small projects but about 11 o'clock had not heard back from Jones office so I called again and the receptionist informed me you try to get a hold of me three times to let me know that I had at 1220 appointment. 1220! Boy! The receptionist wanted know if I was going to make it – – I thought of my pain and said yes I'll be there. I thought about taking the bus, my traditional mode of transit but I didn't think I would make it I did not want to risk being late. I decided to bite the bullet an take  Redcab service  i have used before but very sparingly.

I called the cab they said they would pick me up by 12p.m.– – in fact the cab showed up at 1155 wondered where I was at. I got to the dentist office and Drew Luke,, took some pictures basically told me he couldn't do anything for me and said the best option was an endodontist. Long story short we found an endodontist would take me at 220 if I can get there. Taking a big gulp I called Red cab again .. The first cab cost me $22 the trip to the endodontist cost $18 I was spending money fast.. I'm just pleased to have the cash spent at this point in time.

I ended up going to an Endo had no idea who they were. I regular Endo was closed down probably having the Christmas party which only makes sense this time of year. But the placement relatively new large and expensive – – they must do good work and a lot of it – – I didn't have best choice though this guys going to do it. This guy was Dr. Howard will like kind of a young guy but was quite skilled. I instantly had total faith in him. He got to work shopping with tons of analgesic but did not put me under. He was cool seem totally focused but was engaged with folks around him especially his assistant. He did a great job. I was out of there around 4:15 PM. I got the bus home, saved a lot of money… After payment of $609.99 it was the least I could do.

Monday Shocker

I got a appointment today with Dr. Jones this morning for the pain of and having in my tooth. Is quite a shockI almost missed the appointment because I did not realize they called back. I took a Cost me more than $21 for the Than I took the red taxi to the endodontist for a root canal! $609. It has been a stressful day. I'm spending so much money so fast can barely stand it. Then I got information from Dianne  regarding information shall need for taxes. It has been a shocking day all around. Then I find my healthcare person is not coming over tonight I have a substitute. I just wish I could eat something.

Giving Back

Blog 1216 16 – – Friday

Yesterday was a near perfect day, well maybe not perfect but it's the kind of day I would like to be spending more of. Yesterday the 15^th was the day of the annual U I L C Christmas party or holiday function. I was fortunate enough to be asked be Santa Claus one more yearat this annual function. I've been Santa at this event more or less for 20 years. Of course, I missed last year's function because I was recovering from neurosurgery for my stenosis. This year I'm just recovering from divorce.

Because it was Thursday I had my normal touchy-feely session offered here at the apartments of Thursday morning coffee group. There's about five or six or seven of us that get together under the watchful eye social worker with the organization and we just talk. It's not therapyit is just talk.. I don't talk a lot I'm usually the only male participant which is okay and I am usually the youngest one of the group. Don't have a lot off the other senior women in the group. I do not know how different the there was a “men's group”. Or maybe I'm just antisocial that could be.

Luckily I was able to excuse myself from early so I could access public transit over to independent living center. I was able to make the trip relatively quickly getting to the center just in time for the meal. This year the fare was spaghetti. There is also garlic bread and corn.. The meal was not bad all things considered. My friend Kim stressed me as usual soon I was out on the floor as Santa. This is a good year I was surprised at how fast the event went. We did the usual I handed out candy canes visited briefly with each of the visitors who want to come up and see Santa, we took pictures and got to the whole ordeal less than an hour. In years past we gone up to three hours. So by the time they turn me loose I realized I had ample time to get over to Utah Non-Profit Housing Corporation.. I had a board meeting scheduled for Thursday that I did not think I was going to be able to attend because of bein Santa. When I got to the Corporation I had about an hour to wait before the beginning of the meeting.

It was great being at the board meeting especially since I missed last year's December meeting being at the skilled Nursing Facility. These people really like me. The meeting was a good meeting I received presents one from last year and the one from this year. This year was a box of mixed nuts from th Nut House– – really great nuts and a really great gift.

I was pleased and fortunate to have good weather to travel by yesterday. However the rain did start in the early evening as I was traveling home. The rain was not bad the temperature was not cold. I had done my duty I had attended my meetingsI had given back to my community. Today I got lucky

In The Details

I continue to be plagued with either a laptop that will not be connected to the Wi-Fi or Wi-Fi that will not stay connected to my laptop 

either way I am frustrated having to go through a number of hoops just to get something posted.. Theoretically I should be able to access Wi-Fi here the building with my laptop and post from that but as you know, for some reason Wi-Fi and my laptop are only intermittent friends at best. Last week I was able to access the Wi-Fi from my laptop for three consecutive days. That was the best I've ever done. This week it seems it's been impossible to access the Internet via my Toshiba.. I pay about $27 on top of my rent in order to use the Wi-Fi as well as cable TV. At this point I could do without the cable TV but I would like to be able to work in Internet through my laptop. Yesterday I got a brochure in the mail teasing me to get the Internet and cable service for just $59. I got to thinking this is just $32 more than currently paying for dismal service maybe it's worth the investment to be free of Internet stagnation/frustration.. So I went back to my apartment and called Comcast.

I went through the initial recordings but I made my call finally got to somebody but anime of April. She was sounded nice but she really cared and wanted to help me get the best service possible. I tried to explain to April how I have the service currently and how I would like to have service that was dependable and not frustrating to work with. She said she understood.. Then she began searching for the best deal possible and to untangle the findings is currently enmeshed in through the apartments. It seemed to take forever but that was okay I had my whole morning. I wasn't going anywhere. The weather outside is damp And cold.April gathered my address, Social Security number even, checked my credit rating somewhere between placing me on hold and open discussions with her supervisor wwhom I assumed was listening to the call. Frankly I was amazed at how much time April is putting into this call.. I wondered if she was new and this was part of her training curve. Regardless I started getting nervous as we got closer to the end of the call. For whatever reasons it seemed like the cost of $59 was escalating. I was okay at first but then begin to get perturbed as I thought about all the people at this facility where I live that are getting their cable and Internet access for $27 and I'm going to be at $59. Then I learned that not only was initial cost $59 plus a setup fee, plus rent on equipment and two or three other charges that by the days endI would be in the project about 125 bucks and then my monthly cost would be $69 something. I know I probably crushed for April who had gone above and beyond her calling as a CSR (consumer sales representative).. As part of this bundle is even getting for phone numbers which I did not want, which totally confused me in which I had to take they would not sell me this bundle of services without the virtual phone numbers. This put me over the edge and I flat out told April I did not want the service. I would just continue to live by on the poor Wi-Fi I have at my facility. The cable is all right I just assume not have it but that's part of the Wi-Fi. I can use the Wi-Fi with my tablet and my cell phone and the more I think of it I probably get rid of the TV cable and just suck the Wi-Fi out of the building. And use whatever I get.

I'm sure somewhere along the line I shot myself in the foot somehow. And it's silly having to run all over just to post this entry to my blog. I would love to have a modem all to myself but I guess that's not to be... just yet.

Glazed Eyes

I bank at Mountain America credit Union and I was pleased as punch to find that the credit union had a branch office at Salt Lake Community College couple blocks from my apartment's.. This is even closer than when I was at the house in Murray. I ordered checks when I moved in to these apartments and they have not coming so I stopped into the branch on campus to see if there's a problem.. I think I've mentioned before how much I enjoy being on campus and vamping the energy young people exhibit.. I think I also mentioned that I was interested in taking a class for seniors on campus are actually take advantage of a program where seniors can audit a class for $10 a semester this is a deal. You have to sign a waiver form known they gave me one which I immediately lost. So is also back on campus to get another form to fill out.So I was wandering around reading the bulletin boards when my eyes happened upon an advertisement for a position which pays approximately 2500 a semester. I know this not a lot of money but this would greatly offset my cost on home healthcare. Because it's paid by the semester I suspect this is a work-study position and one that I probably would not even be eligible for but I thought I would ask just the same. This is like an assistance to somebody position in multicultural affairs on campus. Years ago I was an assistant/associate Dean and disability affairs at the University I graduated from.. So I kind of know how situation is. The advertisements that the check with the office of multicultural affairs for information which I did.

I was blown away with nostalgia as I asked individual at the desk about the position.. Of course her eyes glazed over immediately looked up towards the ceiling and was totally at a loss for what I was talking about.. She immediately indicated she would head to the back to ask someone with more authority than her what this was about. In a few minutes I was speaking to someone definitely older but someone who was also in the same fog. This person had been with bureaucracy longer you could tell because she started loading a load of you know what a pure Bureau-talk about how I would have to fill out all kinds of forms,, drop off a resume the whole 9 yards like a regular job.. She was clearly dancing for time. Then she indicated that fine comeback on Wednesday speak to the head of the office she would know more about the situatiothen. The thing sounds pretty ifffy . I wouldn't mind a part-time job on campus and possible and since I'm going to be on campus… I hope come January when I take this class it would be doubly fun to take the class and have a part-time job. I don't know if I'm overloading my plate for what the heck it doesn't hurt to find out.

I think I can do it and like I said it's worth a shot and I think been involved doing seems like this would be great for my disposition and by home health care.

Sunday Pizza Day

Today is Sunday it has been up for the beautiful day. I got fairly earlywash dishes,, made some coffee got dressed went down washed clothes.. I'm basically done with the close though I still have a few things to fold and hang up. I went over to the market and did some Christmas shopping. It was supposed to be partly cloudy which I guess it has been at the sun shone and it was relatively warm when I was out and long sleevesiin just my vest. I swear the day ffelt like spring!

I did not know better I would say mmy world, here in Salt Lake, is becoming less and less accessible. As I have been shopping incessantly the last couple days I've never bbecome more aware of my inability to reach things especially in the marketplace. Each time I go I swear I'm going to have to take a stic/hook with me in order to reach things. Luckily I have no compunction in asking someone for help that is it that someone is around.. I have to be patient and wait for that someone to come by. I sort of like doing that with the meager form socialization I guess it is rather pathetic.. But you would think at this stage of the game accessing materials of the market will become much more doable. I must admit staff at these places are much more open to help or at least they understand the need more than they use to. I guess in fairness I need to accept the idea that it would be impossible to make it totally accessible market place. Perhaps, the market I use most of all is a bit older and has older freezer bins make it impossible for me to lean over in my power chair and access something deep down in the freezer.. It would be challenging get something out even with the hook.

I'm so excited! Mark was here last night aassisting me straighten up my house and in the process my printer! In the day just for the fun of it when I saved this document I printed it just to see if I could and I could and I did. I feel fine.

Now to ffinish my day I am going to make a pizza. Seriously I've been threatening to do this for a week now. About a couple pounds of hamburger last week that was on quick sale and since then I've been getting things together to make a hamburger pizza here at the house/apartment..I have a green pepper,, I have an onion I have a can of olives, I have a bag of shredded cheese, I have a can sliced mushrooms I am set. I just hope I can get the pizza pie out of the oven when it's done.

Old Friend

I had lunch yesterday with an old girlfriend – – someone who is reentered my life in the last couple of months. It's kind of weird but some interesting. Oh there's nothing there as far as the romantic goes, just two peopl who used to know each other in another time and another place.

We really linked up again thanks to Facebook a year or so I guess. She has family lives in Salt Lake as well as voicing so this was stopping place for her many times during the year as her family seems to be going through a real death spasm right now.she called me early in the week to find out more about the divorce.. It was kind of weird but me and I figured I should suggest that we get together before she leaves town which we did. We met at the loca Dee's restaurantwwhich is just a half a block from my apartment complex. We had a good conversation. We talked about our lives, our kids, our spouses of non-spouses etc. but we had planned for the rest of our lives. It was all polite all very appropriate.

We met at the Mormon dances 50 some years ago. We went to different junior high schools went across town from the other.. I still remember she was with a group of girls standing in a cluster and I got my courage up and I walked over and tapped her on the shoulder and we danced. I looked for her the next week and she was there and we just again by the third week we were fairly exclusive dancing the whole night together. We really only met at the dances not really having a way to get back and forth to meet any of the time during the week which is probably just as well. The following summer our church which is made up of many subgroups called wards put together a 24^th of July celebration which brought all the youth together for a musical Festival on that day. There were a number of rehearsals at the stadium where the event was to be held which was also in my side of the time. So I met her at a couple of these reversals. Oddly this summer for an event happened I had my accident and things forever changed. We had a couple dates after my accident – – she even volunteered at the rehabilitation facility where I was going through rehab but I was too messed up physically and mentally at that time to appreciate her efforts. Of life went significantly different ways which is very interestingly remarkable.. I don't know if we would have been good together are and stay together. I hope we get any happier today than they are now but it was good to see her I appreciate her making effort to have the courage to look me up..          

Baggage

I think it's weird that I have such a good are accurate long-term memory. This is been reinforced in me many times over iLife special my ex-wife,, Dianne was always amazed at the things I recall. I do very poor at short-term memory trying to remember things even yesterday is a challenge or could've had a conversation and trying to convey what happened a few hours ago leaves me blank.

I don't know what happened somehow I've lost all my addresses particularly, my family addresses the ones I use to send Christmas cards.. So when this happens I call one of my siblings to see if I can get a copy of their list. Actually, I enlisted my brother,, who lives here in town for his last which he promptly brought over but many of the numbers on that list are no longer functional. So the number that did work was to my older sister Fay who lives in Kansas. This turned into a long conversation over an hour! We had a great time visiting and recalling things from our past. She is 11 years older than I am so she was often my babysitter. During the course of the conversation we talked about a cousin that lived with us and I was very young.. In fact this cousin and her sister both lived with us. And one of the girls got married about this time and the wedding was held in our house which I distinctly remember because my older brother and I were displaced from our bedroom for the ceremony and occasion.. My sister says there's no way I can remember this is is only six months or a year old but I remember. This all happened in “the old house” when we lived on Latah Street. It was a great old house which still stands to this day. I would love to get in it now and explore and find lost memories of my childhood..

We had a great conversation. I don't know why I go so long between visits like this. May be I'm afraid of being rejected or somethin part of my baggage of being in adopted child.

Hang In There Larry

Blog December 6, 2016 – – Tuesday

It's cold today but not as cold as I thought it was going to be however. I got up was always called David at Assist with informed me that it was too cold to have a meeting today. I thought that was kind of lame but I really had things I have to do and so I welcomed not having a although in Salt Lake is for an hour. I got ready,, stop by Jim's fixed my sight of my chair and then I headed off to find a box to mail my brothers birthday gift in and to find gift cards for the girls.

I was told there was a post office in Harmon just up the street from where I live so I jumped on the bus and got off in Harmon's. I was so surprised at how much area stuff was in the area. There are two banks in the current me that maybe I didn't have to go to mount America credit Union is my bank and maybe these offices would have the Visa gift cards are looking for.. I was surprised that neither the banks carried Visa cards any longer. And frighteningly I think I am beginning to see a pattern develop I still want to check with mount America see if they do the gift cards and if not then I will just go ahead andsend moneyand let Shelley divvied up. I really hate doing just this way but I don't see any other way togft things.

I returned home and got my pimp coat because it was just too heavy for the day. Even though the weather forecasters said it was going to be cold it wasn't cold enough for the great white. I changed into a lighter garment and took off again to the local market where I purchased a bunch of stuff which a questionably need. I got materials to make meals with and so is the like salted peanuts and on Roca I'm definitely doing something weird. The day turned colder on my way home. I put my groceries away just hangout in my apartment. I spent more time on Facebook that I should and I was shocked to find stint of damage the stroke levied on my friend Larry ORR. He still in hospital and I didn't know. I need to go see him one of these first days but maybe I'll wait till after the cold I am such a wuss.

Acceptance

As I begin my second month here at the apartments I am really focusing on trying to bring some order to my lifestyle. I am finding that regardless of how focus I try to be on either cleaning the apartment or keeping what little orderI do have it the apartments is a formidable task. I don't know of chaos just likes the vex me aren't really that much of a slob. I find it just doing one task I will make five or six more tasks for me to deal with. I should like to bring my power chair many times as I swivel her turn in the kitchen the handle in the back by chair often catches on something sticking out of the stove or the cupboards are the edge of the sink and down it goes to the floor. Many times making a gigantic mess as it descends. Fortunate for me I have fairly decent patients and even if I know the task of cleaning will be significant I just accept the setbackand return to the project I was doing .

Yesterday was a great case in point. I was pretty focused and excited doing something with a couple packages of ribs I purchased last week.. I had frozen them pulled them out early morning yesterday to thought so I can place the ribs in the crockpot and cook for hours. But in the space of 30 seconds it seemed that I bumped a half a cup of coffee on the floor plus a glass and drink plus a bottle of soy sauce – – but goodness it was nearly empty – – which brings the remaining contents all oveccancel thatr the floor. In the morning I fixed fried eggs and the shells are still on top of the stove and of course those got added to the mix on the floor. I did not even curse. I took the chao in stride and finished setting up the crockpot that would soon receive the ribs.. But what remained was a hideous mess.. The trouble is this happens to me all the time.. This morning I was getting something out of fridge in the back of my chair space caught the garbage can I keep by the table and spell it and it's contents oover the kitchen floor. I took a deep breath finished by task in the fridge and pushed the garbage back to the camp and said to can upright.

I did not even try to clean up the soy sauce mess choosing instead to let the bug juice dry and remove it when I mop the whole floor. I did sweep up after the soy sauce drops had dried removing the eggshells and other paraphernalia that's landed on the floor. I've come to the conclusion that I need help/assistance which means spending more money. I wish I could do this by myself but chaos bending me to her well. I suppose a couple hours a week in the living space need and semi-tidy is worth the payout..

Long Day

I woke this morning at 4:30 AM at least, that's what time it was when I reached over and looked at my cell phone. I tried to go back to sleep I really did but to no avail.. The best I can do was just laying there in bed and get as close to 6 AM as possible. Seems like after a certain hour during the night if I wake up I'm up for all day. If I'm very careful and not focus on anything to think of after waking early time, sometimes I can get back to sleep. However,, once my brain engages and I start thinking about things particularly the new day ahead of me I think I just get too excited and I cannot get back to sleep no matter how hard I try. I might be excited to eat – – something I might create for breakfast or perhaps something good for the night before I. E. cold pizza from the night before,, or fryng up a pound of bacon or even a hot bowl of oatmeal mush could be enough to do me in. It's not food, then I started thinking about all the things I am going to do during the day. This also excites me to the point of no sleep. There are days I wake up and I know they'll be a darkness, that rarely happens thank goodness. I would rather be forced to wake at good thoughts as opposed to dark/evil thoughts. I bought two packages of country ribs a couple weeks ago and immediately froze the packages. Today I woke to the sure knowledge that I would cook these ribs, make barbecue ribs on Sunday. I'm going to put them in a slow cooker, a crockpot, and cooking for hours. However I needed to get spices, Worchester shire sauce and barbecue sauce. Of course once that is loaded in my little brain and its eyes open for the rest of the day. I Have all materials for tomorrow now I just have to get myself to sleep for the next challenge!

Kinda Gouchy

I was sick last week,, I had a feve of 100 and something  that didn't have anything  on hand to combat the fever and the cough. This of course was all  in the realm  of Dianne's control  at the house. In the days that followed I made sure  that I started acquiring,, medicine OTC and prescription I never want to go through a couple days like that again. Actually it was Carl, my brother, who brought over top medicine  orange juice and other items needed for the sick person...


I slowly but surely  amended and feeling pretty good now  except for going through some dark periods where I was seriously thinking  that I should not be living on my own. This last month has been quite an experience. I cannot believe how I've had to struggle just to maintain the apartment I am in..  I'm still trying to figure out the whole scenario. I don't have enough counterspace in kitchen  so everything is getting stacked up and looks kind of bad. The same holds true for the bedroom..  I like to blame the messy look on the carpets but seriously asked not what it is it is me I just cannot keep up.

I try to keep the dishes of yet the lack of counterspace except challenging. I've been cooking meals and have like that.  I've been making a lot of casserole type of dishes and I like the way that tastes and  I do like having leftovers .. But still everything looks messy.  Today I'm trying to find a way to keep my meds to further not  an eyesore to the kitchen   but have not yet figured a place for them yet.. I think I may have figured something out  I'll just have to see if I can find a  trough container which might hold all the meds that I take. I've been trying to push the vacuum cleaner around and that in and of itself is a good workout. I do not know aa good job the vacuum does but the vacuum seems to be functional  if nothing else but a workout tool.

Last week  I purchased a new printer but couldn't get  functional.  My friend Duane  actually picked up the machine brought over to my house and we almost got it set up. We finished the job today.  Duane  also bought  a Wi-Fi booster  which I think is doing some good  in the worked on trying to get myself access to the Wi-Fi.  It actually worked for a little bit this afternoon which I thought was marvelous. I don't know if it'll continue to pick it up but it's a start.

Today is the Access, Inc. holiday  party that I was thinking of going to but it's so cold out and then I remembered today is bowel and bath night  I want to make sure I'm back in time  for that. So I'm going to miss the function.. Duane but over lunch, Chinese food, it was okay little fishy but not bad  it will give me something for dinner tonight. Duane  thinks I'm doing great living on my own disabled at this point in my life. Management believe also feels the same way.. Shelley called this morning and we had a good chat and got  some ideas for the girls for Christmas.  I'm just getting by  I guess that's all I can hope for is the head into the Christmas season.

Self Doubt

I'm coming up on the conclusion of my first month living out on my own. bills will be coming too and I have to admit I'm a little freaked out. I just hope I have enough funding coming in to cover what I have out. I think I do, at this point in time if my benefits come in as expected. Yesterday in an explosion of proaction I called my provider home health providers ie attendants and ask what's the monthly statement would read. I was pleased to find the total  with in my budget. I see if I need to endure a few of these kinds of months so I can get a Baseline of what my life's going to be at least financially.

I was Ill this week at one time running a temperature can coughing significantly and not sleeping through the night. In those Quiet Moments, in the middle of the night, I was getting kinda spooked at the idea of not being able to take care of myself or my life. I just cannot seem to keep my apartment clean. I've dropped things everywhere,thee carpet is toast. I hope to vacation today a little. I am terrified at having to give up my chair for repair. I don't have a backup, not really. I thought I was going to be able to use my manual  in chair but I don't thinik this going to really work. I am not a young man anymore. I don't think I could really ever keep house. I think I always needed some sort of maide a backup of some sort. I may still have to figure out something like that if I plan to stay living independently. I'm hoping most of those thoughts were propagated by the illness and the fact I was alone on a typically family loaded day. Although, I do tend to keep away from these events as far as I can still. I had my night staff leave the vacuum cleaner out and plugged in in the hopes of me actually running it over the carpet a little bit today. Typical Tuesday morning meeting cancelled leaving me home slash in the apartment. I'm actually feeling pretty good and trying to keep from going out in the cold but if I have to I can deal without problem.  I am cooking today my unit reeks of onion and garlic... I love it.

My Thanksgiving

The days become cold at least by my standards. I've got to keep in mind that I'm looking through ill colored glasses. The cough which is been playing with me for the last couple days I finally decide to get serious. The night before yesterday I was up all night sure I had a fever and I was coughing never ending cough. Of course I did bring any of those kinds of meds when I moved. Luckily my brother Carl called and asked if I needed anything. I have course told him I needed ibuprofen cough medicine cough syrup and I even threw in some throat lozenges. I was a zombie all day. They brought me down a Thanksgiving dinner from upstairs. It was okay I appreciate the inclusion but it wasn't what I'm used to Dianne and I could really kick butt on Thanksgiving dinner. I pretty much watched DVDs all day. It was not a real productive day. Today is not much better however I did feel good enough to get dressed but I didn't yesterday so I just hung around in the robe Dianne at made me couple years ago.

I really wanted to be in bed and use the medications to help me sleep and get caught up a little bit but it was just such a weird night. I found myself sitting in my chair like going over the right side chair with a chair everything I did seemed to go wrong. I knocked everything out of my nighttime box more than once I barely had the strength to put the stuff back in it periods the first time I tried to transfer into bed my foot got caught in the footpeddle padding of the chair then wouldn't let them go I struggled with this for about a half an hour. Finally I was able to free my legs by tilting back in my chair and that finally helped had to reach them completely out of the foot padding on the left side. spirits finally I was able to free my legs by tilting back in my chair and that finally helped had to reach down for my leg completely out of the foot padding on the left side. In the trauma of everything I ran over my bed controls for the bed boy was I  bummed luckily the buttons still work and I  have found the top peace and Jim came over this afternoon and put the thing back together it works just fine. I got the heat turned up to 75 it's freezing outside ,snow fell yesterday then maybe more tomorrow. I just don't know how I'm going to make my trips to the market but I'm sure I'll feel better once I feel better and I'll be able to get the Market just fine.

 I continue to worry about my ability to live independently alone. It's spooky at how many assists i need during one day.
I am still living on drugs. I'm sure everything will look different tomorrow or the day after or the day after that...

Challenge Time

 The challenges never stop.  I was actually in a pretty good mood this morning upon waking. it was earlier than I anticipated, the time that I walk and could not get back to sleep, but still I was pretty excited about having a day to myself. no commitments nothing to really leave the apartment about just working on the apartment itself. I was also excited about working with my friend Duane, who indicated he would help me get my printer are a color printer. I transferred into my chair no issues, started the coffee and then did my morning routine ending of course being dressed. Then without warning the left arm of my chair fell off.

 The arm is attached to the chair  by a mechanism, a button that when pushed detaches the arm from the chair when it works. Somehow I have destroyed this as I do everything. I have broken the mechanism. The part  fell  completely off.  I think I was kind of in shock. I scooped up the arm put it in my lap I'm just sort of rolled around my apartment aimlessly knowing what I had to do was too Saddle Up and head into town to Alpine Medical.  I called the resident advisor comma Jimmy who came down and messed with my car in a little bit and sort of got it to stay on but it was not going to stay and I had to get into the shop to see if anything could be done , all I know was that it was going to be a long holiday weekend if not longer.

 I was kind of proud of myself I rolled out and got to the bus stop and into town at good speed. I know they weren't happy to see me rollin to Alpine especially since they're really big on making appointments. Mario  is the head technician there at Alpine Medical. I have developed a respect for this guy over the years that I've had to work with him. I don't know how good he is about pulling rabbits out of hats but so far is that okay with me.Mario looked at the arm and at the damage and agreed there was nothing that could really be done a side from ordering new parts which is really going to be time-consuming and expensive . However Mario cinched the  arm back into place on the frame of the chair.  A  temporary fix,  at best,and will greatly limit my ability to rome over the next couple days  if not weeks if he can push chair repair. Now the case I will be without my power chair which means I'm going to have to really focus on using my manual chair which kind of freaks me out.

 I was ready for a holiday-- not another challenge but looks like challenge it will be, not to say anything about the challenge of cost, already the estimate is closing in on two thousand dollars!!!!

Can any one say "Thanksgiving "?

Rain

I was hoping today would be a slow day. I knew it was going to rain today so I planned on staying in the apartment doing things, apartment things. However, I did get dressed got my shoes on and was puttering around the apartment when I got a call from Jennifer. She let me know that I have not paid November's rent! I was astounded. I think what happened when I moved in because it was late October just a couple days left and I paid for those days and the deposit. So I just think I figured I had already paid the rent for November which I had not.

Clouds had come in over night and I think there had been a little rain in the early morning but today doesn't look too wet. Either way I had to get over to Mountain America and get some checks since the apartments will not take credit cards only checks... That is so weird. So I saddled Up and headed out. By this time it was 12 noon. And I knew nobody was going to be there over lunch so I just sort of dallied here and there. Imagine my shock when I finally got to the bank in the bottom of the Student Union building at Salt Lake Community College and realized they take their lunch from 1 to 2. So I had to kill yet more time but I finally got blank checks. I stopped at the market on the way home I got a bag of onions and other things I probably didn't really need like two packages of country ribs pork ribs. They are on sale I figured it was a good thing to do. Coming home from the market the rain decided to begin in earnest. I got home just in time has the real rain started. It was great to be home in my little apartment.

It's going to be wet now and  cold as we enter this Thanksgiving week. At this point I am planning Thanksgiving here at the apartments courtesy of Salvation Army and Utah non profit. Actually I'm okay with that. Where else would I go?

Turn Up The Heat

I like to cook, in I love to cook. I really have not been able to cook since stenosis 1 and I really missed the experience. I don't know what I like about cooking so much perhaps it's the concept of creation and sometimes when you make something other folks like that is filling as well. I don't have a big repertoire just things lik bread, egg foo young, breakfast many different variations, cookies you know the usual. I like putting all the ingredients together and having The mixture come out something delightful.

The kitchen I have here at my new apartment is sort of kind of wheelchair accessible. Everything is lowered and that's about it. Don't get me wrong I'm totally thankful for this kitchen, granted electric cooking Versus gas and my gas range I could totally roll underneath it to do some real serious.. So I have to approach this electric range from the one But cooking with the electric range is doable just l not as aesthetic is gas.

The sink is pretty much the same situation. However,, I did get management to remove the wooden guard plate underneath the sink which allows me to get further underneath the sink in my power chair.. This certainly makes doing dishes much more bearable.. Again, aesthetics suffer for access at least in my case..

But I really miss is the lowered counterspace/work area. Dianne had installed the six-inch line of counterspace lowered for real charities – – it was wonderful. I have been really not cooking much just because of the limited surface space and lack of really accessible work area. However, my brother Carl fashioned me a piece of whether the handle which allows me to turn the only drawer in my kitchen, Usable working space. Last night I made meatloaf, to cook today, and the pullout work area is perfect for me to enjoy prepping ingredients for the meatloaf a piece of cake. And speaking of cake I will now have a wonderful area to mix of cake I'm pretty excited.

Yesterday,, I was actually making breakfast. It was a Saturday breakfast kind of like Cheerios, milk, Banana and of course toast.. I recently restored toaster oven I brought over from t Utahna house. I have used the toaster almost 20 years and it was pretty hammered an crusted. I was going to throw it away.. But when the toaster oven donated me by my manager here Begin to disintegrate I pulled my red toaster of an out the garbage and spiffed it up. Actually, now I love the toaster,, and everything works especially the toaster part. Anyway yesterday morning I was toasting my bread and all the sudden great screeching and foreign sounding and lights flashing began. I of course, I of course was startled but I figured Wow a fire drill!I opened the door rolled out into the hall and then realized the chaos of noise was coming from my apartment alone. I set off the fire on! I was bummed out thinking that every time I wanted to cook I was in set off the fire alarm. When the alarm goes off, I must contact the resident assistant (R A) and then comes around and shuts off the line.

Donna and Jimmy are my resident advisers. Donna turned off the alarm and assured me what happened was normal and that I should not be embarrassed or weirded out in any way.. I just need to open the outside door a crack when I cook.

Thankfully,, unlike the fire alarm at my Utahna house, this alarm does not go to the fire department. I'm cooking again like I mean kind of fun fire alarms and all.

Youngest

I don't know if I've mentioned this before but I'm the youngest person in this apartment complex in I'm 65. Granted,, I knew this was a senior living apartment complex when I moved in but I didn't realize just how senior this project is. You pretty much have to be independent to live here but many folks myself included have home health professionals coming in to assist off and on throughout the week. What's interesting though is that I find myself looking for somebody who looks like me when I roll around the facility and take part in some of the events the facility offers. I wonder just how similar these feelings are the folks of color are minorities. When they live in such a white culture as Salt Lake/Utah and they don't see anyone who looks like them. It's not like I dislike my neighbors and fellow apartment residents it's just that they are so much senior than I that I find myself listening to them out of respect and supporting them in their discussions as opposed to having anything, with me. I don't know if that makes any sense but a good case in point is Sandra (the name is changed for whatever reason) Sondra is a first-generation German Sandra is really nice . A fourth Sandra's right foot has been and continue and she has a great deal of phantom pain.. Many days she sits in a four-year that I have to pass exit the building to get on my way.. I always stop and visit with her dog but I know that doing so will basically rehash many of our already had conversations. I would just as soon not have to repeat some of those conversations. I stop and visit we have a bit of a conversation and then I'm on my way. I feel for her truly do but I just can only spend so much time rehashing.

Jimmy And his wife Donna are what is called resident advisors. They are folk set aside by the property owners as people who can help you when you have problems.. Today washing clothes when Jimmy came in to watch. More often than not Jimmy wears tie-dyed clothes, he has fairly long hair (almost down to the shoulders) and a fine beard.. In fact I understand he plays Santa Claus for a number of buildings is property management program owns. Jim is a nice guy,, he's very good with his hands, can fix almost anything seems to help everyone. Jimmy's two years and I – – so I need to refine my statement that perhaps I'm not the youngest person residing here. But then again Jimmy's almost management. But I feel myself being pulled towards Jimmy more and more. Is someone close to my ag and I can tell we have quite a few things in common. I suppose this is what I'm talking about a wish there were more residents like Jimmy here. Now I just have to be careful but I don't wear him out.

A Tad More Human

Yesterday I got a table. Actually I got a table and chairs four chairs and a nice round table with legs long enough that I can actually get underneath the table with my power chair. I've been meaning to get this piece of furniture for some time butthead really not been able to figure out how. I was hopeful earlier in the week plan the manager of this apartment complex indicated what are the tenets who just left to go into a nursing care facility has left apartment full of furniture and she would check to see about the table in that unit. I was disheartened later to find that she said the table trashed and all the other materials for sale tobacco smoke laden she couldn't see it going into my unit. I thought so that's good no problem and I thought in the back of my mind how long is it going to take to find something? Then a day or two ago she indicates that she may have found something but she's not sure. The furniture was out in front lobby of the building going to take a look at it I would have first dibs on the furniture.

When I saw the table and chairs I was a little dismayed what kind of intrigued at the same time. My biggest worry was how my going to get more furniture in to my fast-growing small apartment? But I was willing to give it a try. The on-call assistant has had some hip replacement work lately you cannot really lift a lot of stuff so we had to wait until we could get some other help to get the table and chairs down to my unit. I was worried when we did get the items there that the table was too big to get in through the door. Jimmy came down and had moved enough stuff to know how to make these kind of issues. You look good in tilted and soon the chair and table or inside the apartment. It's tight but not as bad as I thought it was going to be and after looking at many of the other folks Apartments I think mine will be ok. I'm having to move a lot of stuff in particular my Saratoga silver but that's okay now I have 4 chairs that people can sit on if and when they come to visit and find Round Table but I can get under and eat at and on and I'm feeling just a tad more human.

Options

It seems like there is always something I'm trying to be worried about. Don't know why but that seems to be the norm now. Perhaps I nee the tension, stress or focus get through the day.

I have known for a couple of weeks,, ever since my chair started actively falling apart, that I'm going to have to get some attention paid to the device which means that I'm going to have to give up the chair for however long it's going to take to do the repairs. Well this became a reality this week when I went into Alpine to have chair appraised . I think Alpine's technicians have become sensitive Become sensitive to the problem of having to give up your primary means of mobility for however long it takes to repair. So now they tend to want to get all their ducks in a row so that when the time for repair does comeyou are without your care the least amount of time possible. They quoted me three days I would be without my chair.This seems like an eternity and quite frankly scares the hell out o me sort of. They have even suggested that I could use a loaner chair during the time of repair. However I have learned from experience the care they usually supply is a real dog and actually very painful to use for extended period of time i.e. three days.

I've become quite dependent on my power chair. I've never been this dependence on the power chair at any point in my life. Before I used by manual care at home, pretty much, and power chair I used to get back and forth to work and to use during the day. I was strong then I could transfer into and out of my chair and back again. I had my room set up so I could make these transfers safely. My left side is much weaker now, plus since the operations. When I was in rehab I kind of worked at using the manual chair. I could push my manual care okay but transferring was an issue. I should've been working on ttransferring the last couple months but I have not. I have once again become reliant on my power chair… It's just easier. Now,, I need to really look at getting back in using my manual chair.. I'm going to have to use a manual chair I think over the three days of power chair repair. If I can get a power chair, as a loner, with enough mass that I can use it to block my manual chair during the transfers this might work. I have a power chair but it's at the house and I don't know I don't know the status of any of that material. Even though I cannot use the power chair for transportation I might be able to use it to block the manual chair during transfers. I also have the option… Maybe, to see if the resident advisor here at Plymouth View might even come by just make sure a transfer okay.. He gets up around 430 or 5 AM which would work for me. It's option it just might work for that period of time.

Once again, I feel so fortunate,, to have options. Options are gold spend them wisely

What Should Have Been!!

(This post should have run yesterday bit I did not have any way to access the Net,last night.)

I'm going to meet with nurse Cratchit this morning after I got up had breakfast and went up to the second floor to the computer lab to type out the items I needed to visit with the folks Alpine Medical this afternoon. My appointment with Alpine was at 1 o'clock so I figure that had more than enough time To print out a document and then meet with social worker. I was a little frustrated been trying to print out my document because the printer didn't seem to work to about seven minutes to realize that someone had turned the printer off.. This was something I can fix it I did. That was off to the social worker's office. There is no one there. I looked at the times posted on the door and what I had read as Monday through Friday 8 AM to 4 PM was actually Monday Thursday Friday at those times. Of course today is Tuesday and no one is at home. It certainly solved that problem for today.

It was getting close to 11 o'clock when I left the apartment to begin my trip over to Alpine . It was a good day for riding the bus and I enjoy the last of the good weather for a while stopping off at Taco time for lunch and to kill little time before my scheduled meeting .. It was then that I noticed Cinema 16 movie theaters. And I thought wow! What I don't take in a movie? So just for the reason that I can I decided I would go to the new Marvel movie Dr. Strange. I figured it wouldn't take long at Alpine could I know it was basically going to be exploratory.

I got to Alpine Med iin good time and had about 30 minutes to wait. I checked out the new power chairs,reclind to my chair to take some weight off my butt And goofed up on my tablet trying to use their Wi-Fi. The Wi-Fi was way too slow so basically I hung out. I didn't pay much attention to the fact that I goTo the shop around 12:30 PM and of course everyone was at lunch. But eventually the technician got to me we went over my chair near a bunch of things wrong. He tried to hide the glee and dollar signs in his eyes what the cost is going to be but we're going to run it past the insurance and see what, if anything, they will do. I have my doubts but will have to do something..

I felt like a kid playing hooky when I bought my ticket to the theater.I timed it perfectly I got popcorn and candy $20 worth of three items. And made my way to the theater. It wasn't a great but it was entertaining and at 230 in the afternoon almost deserted. I had a grand time. I'm not proud of myself for having sort of Ferris Bueller's Day but it was kind of fun and I think I will do it again real soon just not the wheelchair stuff.

I Really Did The work!

I actually have a posting for today. However trying to figure out how to load it was extraordinary. I wrote The Post after I got home from the movies and when I finally have it done I tried to Post-it from my laptop of course, that wouldn't work I couldn't get a Wi-Fi uplink. Then I tried to load the document By  downloading the document from the laptop to my tablet and then posting my documents from my tablet to the internet. And that did not work. My next idea was to load the document to a thumb drive didn't carry the thumb drive up stairs to the computer lab and post from one of those computers since they always have access to the internet. I was shocked when I got up there and the doors were locked!! It was a giant conspiracy against me loading tonight. So this will have to do... It's not 500 Words hopefully it'll do until tomorrow.

New Week! .

It's a brand-new week, it looks beautiful outside, the weather is holding for this late in November. I kind of look forward to the cloudy messy days of late fall or early winter but I have to admit I do enjoy the warm days of the end of the season. I awoke again early this morning. I was playing with encouraging thoughts particularly of finding out a way to work with what particularly my sticks making hooks. I realized that I have options that I have Not really explored the setting A mini shop in this area. I mean I'm not going to go full bore – – but I want to make a couple sticks and I can. I cannot believe how much I sabotage myself in this particular direction. I just need to get back to my tools that they're still around or pume wherever I were to go.

I was Facebook by my ex brother-in-law – – major born-again – – who I like very Much. I don't know however if I should be communicating with this guy right now since he is totally LinkedIn with Diane's family. I sure don't want to make issues for him are Dianne or myself. So I thankerchase set of tools minimized for whatever I need – – send it to go with d him for his continued support and then backed away. Things get so complicated. Today, I plan to meet with support coordinator see what she wants. So forward I go

Nothing Else Better To Do

It's Sunday afternoon and I'm waiting for my clothes to dry. I feel fortunate because this place and living has really nice laundry facilities. They have a laundry facility on each floor: three washers and three dryers. The cost of the license $.75 or three quarters which is the same for the dryers. The drawback on the dryers is that it's $.75 for hire along the dryers run. In some laundromats I've used over the years you could pay for the length of dryers use that you want 10 sense of value a few extra minutes or $.25 or whatever. This is $.75 if it's not dry then you're in for another $.75. However I must admit I can usually get the message done with one go round of $.75.

Last week I broke one of the dryers or the door to the dryer I was using. I used my hook to pry the door open and broke the plastic handhold to uphold the door open. I ended up pulling the plastic and hold completely out of the door on the upside with the plastic device gone I can get my fingers in far enough to pull the door open. I of course reported the issue and they were very generous and forgiving in this week the door and then fixed the handhold replaced and the device almost inaccessible to me how ever I was much more careful this time around when using my device to open the door.

The first floor laundry is Just down from the foyer to the front door. There are a number of very nice chairs and sofas in this area and is a gathering place for many of the apartment residents to gather after walking their dogs. I have not mentioned the fact that it seems that almost everyone has a small dog and of course all dogs need to Be walked. The dogs are reallywell-trained as a rule,Pugs and poodlesAnd all kinds of little beasts. Today there were four living residents discussing all manners of political events the past week and their displeasure over the government and the President-elect. It was pretty entertaining. The ladies were quite up to whatever government gossip is going around about the President-elect. In the 40 to 45 minutes I was there there is only one incident on gossip about what the other building residents seem to lean a lot of clothing from dumpsters. This residency be quite adapt and getting nice-looking pieces of clothing. Have to admire her reminds me of my mom had my mom and able to do dumpster shopping. The conversation was intriguing and I was pleased that they allowed me to be part of their commune. As much as I enjoy the inclusion I had to get my clothes and get back to my apartment. I want to go to the market and purchase a few things for the coming week and to get out and enjoy the sunshine. After all it is Sunday afternoon on a warmer than usual November day. I have nothing else better to do.

Beware

I continue to transition into my new apartment. I don't know why I am at such un-ease. The unease is not necessarily intending to which I felt in other situations but I do have feeling of things not being done right or that I am not doing things correctly or will be not doing things correctly when the time comes. First and foremost being the reordering of medications as well as communicating/dealing with Medicare and Medicaid, PEHP and other bureaucracies which have control over my life.

The facility I live in, Plymouth View, I am beginnng to realize, I may have got more than I bargained for. I was stopped by this individual who lives here to find out that , in fact she works here. I think she's a social worker. She stopped and asked me what I can meet with her – – this of course sent up all kinds of red flares And memories of Other such requests from people over my life i.e. teachers, professors, employers.When I asked her why he said to work on my Service Plan.. I dodged setting up a specific Time and rolled away thinking wow. I found out that she's the Service Coordinator. This information kind of spooked me but then I figured why not? A lot of these folks do need somebody like this to help them with their issues and then I thought hey! I could use somebody help me with MY issues.Then, I felt a bit of humiliation why my needing this kind of assistance… Why do THEY think I need this kind of assistance. What kind of place do I live in if I have to be part of such goings-on? I've been pondering this ever since she made a request. I found her office is way up on the third floor of the building I live . I have gone up there couple of times trying to meet with her to find out more about this Service Plan. And trying not to think that I live in some kind of senior institution… But maybe I do. Is that bad? I look around at my peers able-bodied and those disabled living independently in going on in their lives like real people. I'm trying to hammer my living situation into something that I can wrap around my brain and except. I needed to find a place to live immediately and displays popped up… Actually I looked for a place that had accessibility. I knew this organization had such facilities and may have had the unit open and he did. The unit was opportunity and I grabbed the place immediately. I'm a quadriplegic, from 65 years old, I'm having to live on my own and I found a place that I can do that. I'm using programs and services which I've always thought were for other people that I would never have to be like or use myself aand yet here I am. I should be happy, I should feel really… And I do. I am happy and I'm thankful And yet something feels just a little off. I feel a little like Jack Nicholson in Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest.

I just have to keep an eye out for Nurse Cratchet.

Bottom Concerns

Sometimes I get so discouraged and I do not know If that is a big thing or a little thing but it's a thing just the same. I noticed the last couple of days That might but just got more and more tender. About this time last week but I was so worried that I called Dave Riser see if I can have him look might but see if I had skin breakdown but I had my own health care person look at it she said look fine. And so I went all week thinking it's been pretty good but last night I felt the ruff raised area and I'm thinking breakdown is either imminent or has already occurred. And I forgot to ask Honey to check my butt for breakdowns. So I don't know if the increased amount of traveling I am doing is irritating my butt or is it just my cushion in general as The cushion is exactly turned against me and is doing more harm than good. I know I spend a good part of my day in the tilted back position Taking as much weight off my right cheek or rear end  as possible.

I really want to put the burden of responsibility on this power chair I am sitting in. The chair now is so warped out of Shape there's no way my body had a chance of not being damaged. But maybe I have clouded my own vision by denial. Maybe my body is so work out of line from 50 years stenotic stress pulling my frame massively to the right that I cannot sit straight ahead of what intervention technology throws at me. Wow. That would be hard to grasp something to back my mind's whispering that this is the way it is, it is true and now I am so scoliosis nothing can help me. Be that as it may,, be that totally true I refuse to accept it to live my life as well as I can.

I think I'll try one more time to work with the physical therapist are an occupational therapist or both outlining another chair or system that might help me live independently as pain-free and body safe as possible.

Not that it matters but I've been looking very counterproductive for the past couple days. I don't know if I'm acting/eating out because of the divorce or doing the same from anger/fear of being totally on my own and having no control and by eating I enjoy some control over my life. That is so juvenile I cannot believe I'm susceptible that kind of thing. But I have been buying lots candy bars (even though I'm not eating them all at one time),, I made hash browns with corned beef – – Yum Yum – – I'm really cooking again, which I love to do, then delete more? I think I gained half a kilogram of all kilograms last week! Got to control myself and reign myself in. Saying that, I'm excited I am going do a roast