Happy Holidays

As many of you know especially those who have kept up on my Facebook account,I am going through some major personal challenges right now many of which are directly related to aging with spinal cord injury or SCI. All of a sudden about five weeks ago a have begin steadily losing my independence or my physical independence my ability to do and live independently as I had all my life even with spinal cord injury. Little things (which are actually major things) like transferring from my power chair into my manual chair for transferring from my manual chair onto the bed or be able to dress myself. For whatever reason I was not able to lift my leg anymore which I need to do to get my socks and shoes on. I also began to perceive pain in my left arm – – and this isn't really new information – – a left-sided is my strong side so I tend to overuse it or more accurately abuse my left arm. The problem is when I do that inflame my AC joint on the left side I am left unable to do the things I've outlined above. About the same time I started the use of baclofen a medication used to calm spasticity. My spasticity is never been an issue to the point where I needed to seek intervention from medicine. I did have a fairly significant UTI in those weeks which I figured had exhibited itself with spasticity strong spasms so strong I began to be concerned and so for the first time I began baclofen which I have to admit at certain times the reduction in spasticity has been quite an eye opener to me. Now my UTIs aside I really believe my spasms are getting worse for whatever reason. My healthcare provider started me out and lowest dosage possible a baclofen and I was slow to increase the dosage until I saw my healthcare provider. The problem was that Dianne is not getting any sleep because of bouncing literally bouncing all over the bed at night. Weirdly, my spasms don't tend to exhibit themselves until I lay down. That the spasms descend on me in waves. If I can get my legs up under my chest I've noted that I can get my leg spasms to settle down.

So, with the preceding information I set up time to visit with by Doc see what can be done. I have to bet I am pretty defeated right now. But I did meet with her it was a good meeting. She gave me permission to take literally as much baclofen is I think that I need and that is made a big difference I think in my ability sleep. The doc also ordered major tests, she had me take it picture of my neck that very afternoon off to radiology I went.. The next day I was back at radiology for an MRI. The MRI was freaky something I do not want to do again soon. Now reports begin to trickle in and the reports are so freaking barely stand it.

I broke my neck at the C3 C4 C5 C6 area. They fused my back anteriorly at the C5 C6 level. Explain to me at the time that small plates, steel plates were screwed right to the spinal column where the problems were. They removed his tip of my rib round into a paste which they then plastered over the fusion. I really figured that was the end of that. But what they have found is that superior screw (whatever the hell that means) is backing itself out! It says it's about 7 mm into the pre-vertebral soft tissues. The screw is coming out! How stupid is that!?! I've no idea what that means. I don't know if that means I have to have surgery to have that screw pushed back inare taken out completely.

Next week I have a urology consult to see if anything can be done about my perpetual UTI. Who knows what they're going to find. Again I'm having some pain on my upper left shoulder which I believe is related to my back and increased scoliosis.Dianne has been very supportive through this whole medical re-opening of biomedical past. Oh! I also am trying to get back into the Wellness program at University rehab. This is a long story probably a long post and I'll know more about that in a few days. I think once I get working out again regularly I'll strengthen my left side to the point where I hope to be able to do my own transfers and other ADLs. I'm going to have to explore any and all other remedies to some of these issues maybe even to the point of finding some form of assistance like a homecare nurse all the way some form of assisted living.These are all big decisions which are really change my life.

Busy Week

Today ends what  seems to me to be a super busy week. Beginning Monday with follow-up dental appointment where I had two cavities addressed and finished so I am done with the dentist for at least six months.Then I had medical appointments at the University medical Center. I'm trying to get to the bottom of the spasticity I've been during the last couple weeks if any of the issues or problems I might be having. Today I will be at the Utah Independent living Center where I will be doing my yearly the trail of Santa Claus. Yeah I know kind of corny but something I have kind of look forward to doing.. It's a little thing seems to be a lot to a lot of people and it makes you and I really need that.

Time is short and I need to get busy dressing… Which I will have to explain later post about how my deficits continue to degrade my ability to be independent which is freaking the hell out me. This is also another post to be written soon. Just suffice to say I'm going to need every bit about time I have starting now at 1022 make my commitment by 1 o'clock, just to weird. More to come…

Insomnia, The New Normal

Another night of no sleep – – I was able to do some resting know and I hope that is just as good. I finally dragged myself out of bed around 7 AM when daylight was creeping in the west windows of our bedroom. However I must admit, for the record, the night before I actually got five or six hours of sleep which seems huge on a morning like today. I'm so grateful for the rest I got Friday night Saturday morning. With this added energy I was able to take part in Dianne's birthday luncheon at our favorite Asian food restaurant, the Shanghai Cafe. The place has great vegetable dishes in the Thai/Chinese traditions, fairly large portions and relatively good service. The place is fairly accessible wheelchair dining so it's a no-brainer for us. You have gigantic eggrolls, the best in Salt Lake and the biggest Salt Lake that I've ever seen. It's always a fun place to eat pretty authentic I always try to try new things when I'm there but I always end up going back to green pepper and beef broccoli dishes they're relatively safe. We had a great time dining with Bridget, Gabriel, Asher and Anakah or B A G A. I wish other family members could have been present but it never seems to work that way. It was great seeing Anakah, the adolescent, she is so involved in her life, which is the way it should be. Ancients like us love to share with students of the young one's lives we can. So for a short moment in time we all came together in a great meal and great experience in the memory to add to our pocket full of memories you carry around day-to-day.

Dianne loves secondhand stores so, as part of my gift is small and shallow as it is was was to hit a couple of these places on the way home. I actually had ulterior motives in that we were out the day before and I noticed someone's Steven King collection had made it to the bookshelves. Couple years ago I gave away one of my favorite Steven King's Hearts in Atlantis and I was excited when I saw this volume at the secondhand store. We got a few things in front of a home and spent the rest of the evening watching old movies. I really would've liked to have done more for Diane's birthday whatever's going on with me is not only sapping my creativity and energy levels .

I tried to get an appointment with my primary care provider which is sort of a joke. I am going to have to maintain this bizarre lifestyle until January 5which is the earliest appointment I could get. I left word how frightened I am how emergent I think the need is to hopefully one of the nurses will get back with me at least advise me as to what I could do in the meantime short of showing up at the ER which is something I do not want to. But I'm alive today and I'm grateful for that, clouds came in overnight temperatures dropped and there was a skiff of snow over everything this morning I got up and it looks like more snow is falling now. Not much but kind of the first know the season.

December !

When did it become 11 December? Like everything else this month is going way too fast and I'm not getting anything accomplished despite the beautiful weather. I seem to be just getting by and that is saying a lot. I continue to battle the spasms and my cherished independence. It's weird, I don't know what is happening all of a sudden I'm losing the ability to do things that traditionally have had no issue with doing. Major case in point transferring from my power chair to my manual chair . I've had to call him Dianne every night this past couple weeks to assist me in not falling out of my manual was able to do before. I know I am scaring Dianne to pieces and I don't know what to do. I don't see how this related to my spasticity but it might be. I believe it's time to contact my care provider and see what can be done. Add to this my ongoing inability to sleep. This is really getting tense. I can't write it off as an age thing, though I'm sure agents of the do with it.

This week I have been able to make my appointments. I even spent some time under the drill yesterday which went off without a hitch. I cannot believe I lived so much terror, all my life, regarding the dentist. I'm going to attribute this to my experience with Dr. Froggly – – by earliest experience that I can remember with a dentist – – possibly a brother Ross used to scan us not out of me regarding everything and especially the dentist with the needle in the eye. Now, even on the day I know it's going to be a drill day I just roll right in tilt the chair back and let the DOC go to work . I still have one sitting left which will be on Monday. Two cavities to be filled then I'll be done way in time for Christmas and the new year I am so thankful.

Now, I need to get the girls Christmas packages off hopefully in time for the holiday. Still need to do something for my grandkids here in Utah as well's the rest of the family.

I'm exhausted I must get some sleep.

Scared To Death

I am really beginning to freak out regarding spasticity thing I'm going through. It's been more than a week now and I really haven't seen a whole lot of progress with the spasticity issues. True, I began taking the medication as prescribed on the ball. I was taking the about half that much of the baclofen and I must admit I think taking the prescribed dosage has been more productive than I would've imagined. It took less than the prescribed amount because I didn't want to get totally addicted to baclofen or the muscle relaxant or whatever it is. I wanted to give the prescribed dosage a shot before I ran to my healthcare provider like chicken Little with my head in my hands screaming the sky was falling. I think to some degree I am begins sleep through the night better. However bear in mind when I started taking the prescribed back he found I was also on an antibiotic or UTI. The regimen has run its course now Don scared to death that I'm just going to come inundated with another UTI. Just have it be hypervigilant and I hate being hypervigilant. So I'm really not sleeping all that good and I think is beginning to wear on Dianne plus all the other stuff I'm scared her to death. I just don't know what to do she does not know what to do we do not know except now I guess it's time to make an appointment with my healthcare provider cross my fingers and hope for the best.

Some of the things I can explore which might assist with the spasms might be one going back and getting to physical therapy. Some rail physical therapy where the action stretcher. It's some of the postings I've read on the Internet regarding spasticity has indicated a good stretching the greatly assist in downplaying the spasms it has been a number of decades since I had any real physical therapy and like I said I'm at a point where anything is worth a shot. Also, I may seriously have to look at getting some sort of assistance i.e. people to come in and assist with either bathing, dressing and who knows what else to get by. You know it's not that I don't know about this kind of stuff, it's not like I have not recommended this exact same solution to many others over the years. I just am having trouble looking into the same stuff for me. Maybe it's time though even the bathing aspect once a week would be great.

I've also developed some sort of information in the muscle tissue up by left side up in the shoulder. I think this pain has manifested itself from the fact that I use this left side so much in my transfers and my repositioning myself all through the day when I'm in my manual chair. I think I've insult of that side just one too many times and is now letting me know. I'm addressing the issue with ibuprofen which seems to get me by but I've noticed it is really taking a long time to get dressed.

Now need to get top my sleep situation if I could do that I think I'll be getting close to where I was at before I start having issues with my personal independence. You know it's scaring me to death

And So Begins December

I'm feeling thankful today, I passed a good night. I passed a night that I wasn't up thrashing thrashing and crashing my body was wracked spasms massive spasms, spasms so bad they literally tossing me all over the bed. Dianne was terrified as was I. About a week ago I went in to the dock was diagnosed with UTI. I figured I had a UTI, I always have you it's only when you get severe to the point that UTI begins interfering with my life. It wasn't really bad as my UTI experience goes but I could tell something was wrong I thought well heck is soon get on top of this. The Doc gave me a prescription which I got filled started the regimen . In the past seemed whatever I started description a lot of the symptoms vanish not so this time around. It seemed whenever I would lie down I would start a series of spasms which would get pretty aggressive. And I really did not tie them in directly to the UTI and even now I'm not sure how much of an impact the UTI had with the spasms. Dianne also found an abrasion between my scrotum in my leg which looks pretty bad enough so that had be medicated and conceivably could be painful enough to cause spasms. Now all the time I was taking baclofen which I have been doing for five months now. I hate taking medications that I flopped off taking baclofen for as long as I could. I started taking the muscle relaxer because I was getting significant spasms and the doctor talked me into taking the med. And I have to mid I was impressed first they are so taking the medication because I saw a significant decrease in my spastic behavior.. Then about 3 to 4 weeks ago I started noticing those having more and more difficulty sleeping through the night. I mean I don't sleep that much anyway but I get enough sleep to get by but now I was having severe spasms can be up a good part of the night. Fortunately my spasms are not necessarily painful and what I would think would be painful they are a bit uncomfortable as I experienced a great deal of leg stretching and some abdominal stretching and a been doing this we are behavior where the spasm will pull my body into a ball so tight I can barely breathe in the scares's does not out of me! I literally enforced to be taking shallow breaths and tried to relax my body for the spasm to relinquish its grip. So Saturday night I did not sleep at all not from Saturday night when I went to bed to Sunday morning and though I was groggy to the day I made it okay. Something to changed I didn't know if I felt better or just exactly what but I was feeling the spasticity was getting better. What is been disheartening with this spasticity is that I would tend not feel are experience the spasms while I was in my chair during the day but the second I lay down in the evening to sleep my spasms would start. Last night this did not happen and went to bed just laid there and felt good. I spent the whole night without spasms well not great spasms. I was up once or twice during the night to drain but sadly that's typical. I think I woke up around 6 o'clock and started my day. This is great. Now the problem I have was when I was going through the storm of spasms I committed to contacting my healthcare provider to begin an examination of what the problem might be. I'm kind of thinking that maybe the Bactrim which is the medication prescribed for the UTI is finally kicked in. Now, I should see a diminishing of the spastic behavior. With the threat eliminated do I still need to see my physician? The adult thing to do would be yes make an appointment see my doc and see if I need to adjust my meds begin some other kind of rehabilitation or something. We honest with you see my doc is almost as bad as having the spasms. Once they get a hold of you – – they being the medical system who knows where you will and up.

Happy first of December. Got about half my letters out and am glad to be December. I'm glad to be alive I'm glad to be functional and I look forward to celebrating the holidays.

Looking For Sleep

It's 61° outside and I'm sitting inside the house too tired to get dressed and go out do something really fun and memorable for this holiday weekend. Once again I do not know what's happening to me but thrashing and crashing all through the night trying to chase down any moments of sleep I can get my hands on. Really I was hoping I had all this under control when I went into the position last week and got some medication to knock out what looks to be a bladder infection. I had a major infection couple weeks ago or maybe months ago maybe just a month ago bottom line the UTIs are becoming way too frequent. I'm going to have to see if I can get the.to develop some sort of medicinal prophylactic that will focus contact these reoccurring UTIs. And I don't even know if that were to be done if they would help me at all with my sleep. I don't know if they would help with the sleep. I began to think my spasticity is getting worse to the point it's keeping me up most of the night. I thrash and crash all my long. I'm really amazed that Dianne puts up with me because I really am having an impact on her sleep time. I really have to be honest too, I'm getting kind of scared with the spasms. I have one spasm that's pretty intermittent but when it comes to killer. Thanks it pulls me up to a ball told me there I can't breathe hardly very small puffs of breath I can get it lasts anywhere from I think 30 seconds to a minute and eventually loosens up and lets me get back to trying to sleep but this terrifying are becoming more and more terrifying. So I lay in bed and feel the spasms come on and I'm just scared that the next second of ball up and not be able to unwind. I thought perhaps if I increased by baclofen this would take care of the problem but it does not seem to. It did at first I sensed that that was short-lived. I'm just afraid if I keep bringing this up to my dock to order me in for a sleep study or something and I don't want to do that but I don't want to live in fear either so just to have to see what to do.

Thanksgiving was pretty low-key this year, however I believe we had a good time at least I did and it looks like Dianne did to. We actually cleaned off the dining room table and put together a complete Thanksgiving dinner. We did the shopping on Wednesday Pretty traditional turkey vegetables potato chips Sweet potatoes living outside we needed. And yesterday we just put together the meal sat down around six o'clock and chow down. We had a bottle of wine which kind of amazed me. We stayed up pretty late I went to bed probably around 11:30 PM really thought I was going to do okay but no I struggled through the night woke up around 315 and never really got back to sleep.

I'm getting sleep deprived to the point where I'm recognizing some behaviors I had when I was working full-time sleeping very little. That thing where your doing something that also find yourself asleep. Even to dictating this post I find myself doing that. I close my eyes also I'm in this mini dream state.

Keep an eye on this for the next couple days and see what happens I would sure hate to see this issue I am having wrecked my holiday season anymore than it already has. So let's keep my fingers crossed

Mirror Mirror

Snowfield during the night the long-awaited low pressure system finally wandered in to the Wasatch front. It's not a lot of snow, really just a skiff, but enough snow to make you realize calendar or not winter is hereand lives must be planned accordingly. So with that in mind I turned up the heat in my computer room and have put off getting dressed till after lunch. This is the time a year I must be careful will actually being nude in this neighborhood I always need to be careful, but anyway I hang out naked as long as I can, getting dressed only as a last resort to a day of socialization.

If I sound excited is because I am, I finally got a full-size mirror for the computer room which am little by little turning into my workout or in-house gymnasium. I have one of the mirror to give me an idea of my size especially when I am working out. Last week Dianne actually cleaned out a portion of the computer room and moved by rickshaw into the room. So now I do not have to go out to the garage after I finish my hand bike workout. We tried to get in the Marcy, multi station gymnasium, but there is just not the room so my Marcy will have to stay out the garage for the time being. I have the Marcy set up so I can use it for rows and presses two physical workouts I would love to access on a regular basis. It is just not possible now.

Friday afternoon Dianne and I were at Lowe's checking some materials out when I looked for mirrors it took a minute I found some great pieces of mirror that would work perfectly for my needs it was priced well within the range I could absorb. So we got it. The mayor's heavy and it's big and very awkward to handle. We were fortunate but recalled Bridget that should be able to assist us in installing the mirror. We were very excited when we heard that Bridget to come over Saturday and help us do the installation. This something I left to the women to work out since I know I have no skills in this area even if I had my hands. I was so impressed to see that workout the whole installation process then do it.I would like to say the installation process was straightforward and without issue but that would not be true. The fasteners we purchased were okay but we had some issues with their installations. So between Dianne and Bridget they found the items they needed to install the mirror perfect as far as I'm concerned.

I have the mirror placed on the opposite wall of my rickshaw so I'll be able to see myself working out when I do the rickshaw. This will be very helpful to me particularly as a gauge to see if whether or not I'm losing weight since that is what is important to me at this juncture. I need to lose pounds. I need to be able to get back to doing my ADLs with less stress and I think this mirror will help in that process if not it's just fun to be able look at myself working out… This is the height of narcissism?

Blogs and Journals

We are currently in the middle of converting what used to be the computer room into the computer room plus workout equipment room or our Mini gym. You might remember me going on on about this a few months ago when I ordered my Saratoga Silver hand workout system. My goal then was to change the room. Last week when Bridget was over she helped me clean my desk and I think that's what got things going. Yesterday while I was at my volunteer position Dianne began making giant inroads on the room conversion. She took the giant close rack down to the bedroom and actually moved my rickshaw into the computer room! She even tried to bring in the little universal gym I purchased from Big five last summer. Alas there was not room for the mini-gym. I guess if I use the gym it will be out in the garage which is doable I appreciate that Dianne has taken such an interest in the room conversion. I feel the gym is ask a coming together. But that is not what this posting is about. The other day when Bridget was here helping me clean my area she noticed that I had a stack of day timers and actual journals that I've kept over the years. I wish I had been faithful to always kept a journal but I have not so journals seem to be a bit hit and miss but they're there in all their chaos. I jokingly told Bridget that at least it would be fodder for some history major/grad student the way through and write an impartial history from. It was that moment when Bridget was confused asking or is that not what the blog is all about? It I told her it is not.

A blog to me is sort of like journal lite. The posts are written to be entertaining, seems to me. It's a published document even if only on the Internet. It is meant to be read by many people usually, hopefully which I don't think is the same as a journal. To me, a journal is a document usually written just for me where I document goings-on of my day there may not be personal, confidential or for the public. Many journals asked to come with locking key to keep prying eyes out, a journal is information just for the writer of the document. A journal is that piece of information which remain after the writer has passed, left to the world, for the world to figure out. I have journals scattered round the house from Hell to breakfast and who knows where else. I have even started keeping an on line Journal I have been using with Note Pad-I am now toying with the idea of downloading the document at the conclusion of each month and placing it into a binder a master document. I also little by little want to put the other Journals on disk with my end hope being able to leave set to each of my descendents to let them do ith as they well.

Monday with the Grans

I don't know what the problem is I've been trying to write a new post to this blog for at least three days now. I just can't seem to get the posting out. Seriously, I should be knocking these posts off like ffalling off a log. It might be I've gotten addicted to dictation and am finding it too difficult I'm self-conscious to dictate when someone else is in the room. In fact I had typed the last posting I believe on Saturday. So I'll have to get over it, posting is important to me, whether I dictate or type or just write.

So today, I didn't have anything outstanding to write about except to relate how the day is progressing. Its Monday and the last couple of weeks since summer Dianne I have been meeting Bridget and Asher for breakfast. In the summer if Anakah was available, she would join us to. We went to Left Fork, Village Van and today went to Salt Lake City's Astro Burger, a local restaurant which is cloned itself off

another quite successful local restaurant which produces great abundant low-cost breakfasts in the morning and the rest of the day astounding faster. Astro and the other restaurants similar to Astro are aimed at university students and the working population. Granted, the food is fried and often heavy and cholesterol i.e. ham bacon fried eggs but the taste is marvelous and the atmosphere warm and if you're fortunate enough to get hard-working waitress someone to keep your coffee plentiful and hot. There's enough movement and interesting people at these breakfast eateries to offer enough stimulation to a three-year-old. The help are always delighted and impressed with Asher and his great abilities to order for himself and his level of politeness. When we first began these outings we often did something else after breakfast like go to downtown mall , Liberty Park or even a train ride on the light rail. Then Asher begin to want to just go to me and grandma's house just work in the garage, in the yard or garden and then walk around the neighbor. If there were days we did not go to breakfast we would walk is a group of the State Street in one of the fast food joints up there usually KFC or McDonald's across the street. Whether now is taken a turn for the cold. Though it may not be challenging for three-year-old, all bundled up to want to go out and walk in the cold and attack giant piles of leaves the being out in theelements is hard for the senior adults. So, now eveyone troupes back to the house. Asher quickly sequesters grandma leaving Bridget and I defend ourselves. Today, Bridget was good enough to assist me in the cleaning of my desk area task I have had a difficult time confronting. We did a thorough, Bridget work through a good 6 inche pile of clutter on the top of the desk and we even cleaned out a number of drawers. This is something that's impossible for me to do but with the help of Bridge be made giant progress. I just can't tell the reader how much this helps me in my room. If we can keep the momentum going have a couple more areas in my room that need attention. I just hope I don't burn the girl out.

This is life after retirement, without the daily stimulation of train rides, phone calls of the office and the stress of day-to-day employment finding things to write about seems challenging to me. I just have to soldier on and write what happens one day at a time

This was all I could see of the grave side service since everyone stood in front of me. The sailor was part of the honor guard..

I buried my friend Al this week—well, I did not bury him I went to the funeral, so I was part of the group who attended and as part of the collective—WE all buried good old Al. I am still trying to process the event and I am really trying to keep civil about the whole thing, especially since I think that is what Al would want or have wanted. Again for the most part the events of the day were OK and I think would have been what my friend wanted.

Al and his wife be long to the dominate religious culture in the Murray area, LDS and that is OK there are many benefits to belonging to such an outfit mainly not having to rent any type of hall have hoe downs like funerals, quite a substantial savings hat is why I was so impressed when I heard that Al's send off was going to be at the chapel at the mortuary which prepared the body. Cool,the more I thought I though yes, that is exactly what Al would have wanted since he did not really participate in any of the ward activities. How ever the couple did receive the ward representatives who visit on a monthly basis just to make sure all was well an to deliver some religious instruction. Actually Al and his wife are too nice to refuse these folks form coming over monthly. So they came over and when Al passed they kicked into high gear and did give support to Lanae in her time of need. Luckily for Lanae that have a most supportive family helped to keep the mormon neighbors away. Still they needed or felt they needed someone to say the words and they did what the felt natural was to turn to their benevolent home teachers. The one in particular had been in the position for over twenty years. The home teacher did an OK job . He got off on a religious tangent hijacking the whole ceremony for atleast half an hour. Eventually he rested and the everyone mounted up for the ride to the cemetery.

The day of the funeral was cold day, just family an a few others made it to the grave side. Al was military, he served in WWII—he was buried with full military honors,which I doubt was his idea. Al has always felt guilty for not seeing combat. He felt he should not get benefits from the VA even though he was part a PBY5a crew which was active all through the war. I know someone else arranged the military detail. I am glad he got it-He deserved so much more.

Dianne and I were honored when Lanae as us to join the family in the traditional post funeral meal. The ladies of the ward put together a rather spectacular hotmeal. There were about thirty others at the meal in the cultural hall. We were impressed with how many neighbors were in attendance and how many knew us be we did no really know them. It was kinda cute,members of Al's family seemed to take turns and came over and sat at our table so we would not have to sit by our selves.

Even though had some issues with some of the events of the day, over all I think Al would have been happy and in the end being happy is all one can ask for.

Because A Writer Writes

I have forever seen myself a writer,I would have been a great even a good writer but I cannot claim an honor as great as that but I continue to try to write. I will never be a real writer, a writer of stories or books, like Stephen King, I do not have the patience or commitment which is too bad. I have something to say I just can't do it. I have tried and tried. I have landed on the blog thing which lets me write and even publish as much as I want whenever I want. I have over a thousand posts actually almost two thousand. Each post usually 500 words or more,a couple have been less, but I have shot for at least 500 his proves to me I could write books and I probably have in another world or reality.

Then a number of years ago I committed to writing my mom and a very good friend a letter every week. Mom and Mack had just been placed into nursing homes and I wanted them to have something to look forward to and more then that to know they were not forgotten. I wrote faithfully until each died and about that time son, Mark went on his mission, then my nephew left for his mission—these two I wrote monthly. The only senior I am now writing monthly is my mother-in-law, who still lives independently in Louisiana.

Then a couple of years ago I discovered I had grandchildren who were learning to read and a light went on, write the grand-kids monthly and their mother, my daughter, each grand daughter getting their own envelope and letter. A few months ago two of my older granddaughters were called on missions and now I am writing to them. I try to get these letters out the first week of the month. Sometimes I fail but I get the letters out eventually.

I went into these projects with no expectation of getting any kind of recognition or expectation of getting any letters in return. It would be nice but that was not my reason. I wanted to make a link with my grand kids who are not close to me. I want to write and have these kids understand the mechanics of the postal service and having people care for them long distance. And lately I have started getting letters, real letters for the little girls and now the missionaries, all letters are adorable and welcome and head for the refrigerator.

So I am not a great writer. I have written a play or two, one novel the manuscript was lost in a divorce battle and now I blog and write letters many many letters, but I write. I try to write something daily because a writer writes.

so Long Buddy

My heart is heavy as work through the loss of my next door neighbor,Albert. Albert died a couple of days ago—expected but not expected. Actually, Al died twice last summer when he had a vehicular accident assaulted by the deployment of the airbag of his vehicle. Truly, I was amazed at how well he came out of the accident.

I've been racking my brain all weekend just trying to remember how I started visiting with my next-door neighbor. We have been neighbors now for about 21 years we moved into this house every weekend we got married two decades ago. Al livee next door along with his wife,Lanae. So Al would been in his late 60s at that point. I think he was still employed. I doubt we had much communication at that point, just neighbors passing in life. There were cookies at Christmas and little by little we got to know each other. I think it had something to do when I started going into my woodworking phase, when I began making sticks. Albert, is a constant woodwork he has a little shop in the back of his garage and I often heard him in his shop sawing wood. I started going over to Al's house to have him rip wood and to ask questions or ask advice. Then I started going over to Albert's just to visit with Al. It was kind of weird because Albert had three kids, one of which is exactly my age. This guy could be my dad. We linked up some how and we would talk for hours out on the back step of his house. We could really talk during the summer spring and fall rarely did we talk during the winter. Alberts house was not wheelchair accessible except for a very steep down to the basement of his home. There were a couple times that we used that way but Al had to hold on to my chair to easily down the ramp safely.

Albert turned 90 last week. I wished I could've gone over and wished Albert happy birthday in his own home but I could not. I did go over and gave him a hook that I had manufactured. He took it and I could see it wasn't sure what he would use it for but I just encouraged Albert to use it if you want to. Did comment on how nice and smooth the piece was but I knew he was just being kind. His work is so much better than mine.

I'm surprised at how Albert's passing is affecting me. I truly am in some form of mourning. I'm actually going to that phase of wanting to go over and knock on his back door to tell him something that have to remind myself that he is no longer with us. Albert was shy I think I had to drag our friendship out of him but it was truly worth it. I think Albert was amazed at me in my life as a person of the disability. He was amazed at me being a disabled state worker and the information I had at my disposal. He asked all kinds of questions which I answered to the best of my ability. I think I was his best option at answering questions about a world he no longer understood. I loved this guy, I totally admired him and how he lived his life. I just hope in our short 20 years that I gave him as much as he gave me.

When Temperatures Drop

The temperature finally significantly dropped along the Wasatch front bringing to the end of a more beautiful Indian summer. Last night we had clouds and rain there was even talk of snow and mountains possibly even coming down to the valley floor this morning but to my knowledge that did not happen. However temperatures preceding this low-pressure system of cold air was in the 70s. In mid-July I began moving my wood shop out onto the driveway of my garage. I don't know what instigated the Epiphany that even though I could not use my garage I could use my tools outside the garage and get back to making my hooks.

I keep my tools outside now on the driveway next to the garage door. The tools I have out on the driveway include attendance power tablesaw, one craftsman belt sander, the belt sander is pretty heavy takes and it takes nearly all my strength to move it from one place to another. When not in use I keep the belt sander hidden behind one of my big black garbage cans and pretty much the same I do with the table saw. I also have a couple of workbenches on which I have fixed a vice and I plan to put a couple more vices out there. I feel pretty secure in this neighborhood and I feel pretty comfortable people will leave my equipment alone. Since we live in the desert I am not too worried during the summer regarding rain in my equipment. I watch the news and the weather and if bad weather is forecast to cover the side the Sanders with big black garbage bags. I've access to the power I need to run all my power tools and I just wish I had found the solution earlier to my wood shop access problem. Oh, I still have access issues but much fewer that I had and I can ask folks to fix things I can't reach if need be.

Into beautiful weather this weekend preceding the day storm I was in the garage Friday getting ready to work work on some hooks. To do this I would need to get some scrap lumber that I use to make the book blanks. I have this lumber in the rafters of the garage and another place of buried under stuff that I can't get to. My daughter, Bridget and Asher, our three-year-old grandson, was over visiting and asked if she could help me get the wood. I was a little concerned because it would be a little difficult to get access to the wood and maybe a little harsh on the hands but Bridget was game and did not have to be asked twice. She asked what I was doing I figured what the heck so I shared with her by project. And before I knew it she was knee-deep in alligators with me helping me work on my wood project. Together we ripped a 12 inch boards into 12 inch one by one inch strips some of which would cut into two pieces and some of those two 6 foot pieces we then cut into 3 foot pieces. My little craftsman 10 inch saw cut heroically and soon we had enough blanks to keep me busy for days.

I was amazed at Bridge's interest in my hook project. We worked together all afternoon, she cut would with the table saw, she worked her pieces with the belt sander in the Palm Sander eventually drilling holes into the into the wood and twisting hook in the end. We talked, we laughed listen to some music on the garage radio. Bridget was generally excited to be working on the wood and to be working with me. She had a giant smile on her face. I sent her home of two hooks which she had made. I was mildly surprised on Saturday the next day when she called in one come over and do something else. Little family dropped her off about an hour later Bridget my spent the morning putting together a workbench I picked up somewhere and never had the courage or the resources our patients to put the thing together. However, we assembled the bench as a team effort and it's going to be wonderful.

It's amazing sometimes but we find in old grudges when temperatures drop.

Charge!

Yesterday was my advisory board meeting for 211, actually this advisory board has become a “disability advisory board”. I kind of feel this board is 211,'s proof that the call center is working to address the needs of callers with disabilities. I intend to write more regarding this issue the next day or so. The meeting is held in the 257 building on second South downtown so I'm on the tarmac riding the buses and the trains to get to my meeting and that's the way I love it, especially during the seasonal transition point from warm to cold. I have to rely on my power chair it's as simple as that. I've been having some challenges with my charging system I. E. my battery charger. I feel I have finally isolated the issue which is I have a short with the plug that engages might power chair.I plug the charger and the lights which indicate the charger is working and the battery is being charged,, however I have found that often the cord will relax and somehow the electricity flow will be interrupted in the battery will not charge. I usually charge my chair and evening right before I go to bed as I jump from my power chair to my manual chair. I assume the battery is charging and go to bed.. Sometimes I looked in on the chair as I pass my study on the way to bed and see that the charger stopped and I finagle the court until the charger begins to do its job once again. Sometimes even, the chair she seems to be charging when I check on it before bedtime only to find the next morning that the charger had stopped charging at some point during the night and this is what happened yesterday. I woke to find the chair it stopped charging during the night at about 85% of charge. I had just about an hour before I had to leave so I plugged the chair into charge what little it might before I had to leave for the bus. So needless to say I was running on less than a full charge but yet I figured I'd be okay since I would be around ample sources of power and I would charge what I could. This is what I did, after the meeting I stopped off at my old office and visited with staff a little bit and powered up my chair which I thought was for about an hour which should've been enough time.

I actually had no problems at all accessing in the bus then jumped the train and then waiting for an hour and catching the 201 home. It was only after I began my trip home from the bus stop that my chair begin acting like it was energy starved. Any bit of an incline, even the crown of the road was enough to shut my chair down. I crept as much as I could, I seemed barely to be moving, luckily one of my neighbors noticed me as I passed and saw that something was up and asked if he could help. I should've let him but I was going to try to make it home on my own. I got about a street and a half further and realized I was not going to make it so I backtracked back to my neighbors house who finally saw me sitting in the road and came out to help. We disengaged the brakes, kind of, and Bruce pushed me all the way home. This is one of the first times my chair has actually failed me and causes me great concern. I guess I need to get a new charger for the house one that I could believe in which will fully charge my chair. I'm going through a lot of changes in my life right now and above charger is one stress I don't need.

Dock In The Box , Again

Something is happening to me I don't know what it is I'm hoping it's just a bladder infection or at least a bladder infection. Had a fitful night again last night,not sleeping much just a couple hours and that's not bad I can deal with that especially in retirement… I can sleep all day if I have to. What is really weird s that during the night I get all stuffy terribly thirsty and all panicky sometimes. I lay there and think about all the things which could be happening then gets spooked. I usually have to get up once and usually twice during the night to use the bathroom which is a physically challenging event. I don't mind if I can drain enough urine to make it worth my time, at least a couple times has been low production events and I hate that. Usually if I wake up before 4:00 AM I can usually get back to sleep for at least a couple hours or has been the case not so this last week or so.

I mean I hope there is a fairly easy fix for what is ailing me I best be careful what I wish for is it may not be a fix. However I hope it's something physical in easily taking care of without any kind of institutionalization. Otherwise we're talking about me being histrionic that would really suck.What is interesting is that I've been visiting a lot with my neighbor Albert, lately he told me last weekend that his 90^th birthday was coming up. I knew he was getting close to this number but to actually see him get around and worry about him being 90 this I think beginning to freak me out. Not so much in being 90 as the fact that he's not live much longer regardless of the day and how good he seems to be right now 90 is 90. I went over and talked with them yesterday for an hour or so. It was our usual conversation a lot of it dealt with me and my history which really seems to interest Albert. We talked about my cooking and how much he hates to cook but how he did cook during the war. Last night is doing the math he was born 1924 that means he was about 20 and he served in the Navy during World War II, and maybe 24 or 25 when he got out! That's crazy!! I worry every day after these two old people who lived next door. Albert will longer drives because of his recent accident and Lanai is driving around and replacement car. She's been griping a lot lately about how she has to do everything now that you can do right… Poor Albert his self-esteem must be going down the tubes. I finally left yesterday afternoon I realized I needed to get home so I can work out on my Saratoga. I thanked out for spending time with me and he reached over and touched my shoulder and said thanks for spending time with him. Albert seldom does this as far as touching goes it was a big deal. I think I'm beginning to have some separation anxiety with what might be coming.

So to 11 AM, I am sitting here naked and best get dressed drag my sorry ass over to “Doc in the box” and hope he'll give me some magic pills to get me going and possibly get some sleep. Until then I'm happy for each moment I have of this life.

Asher Time

Today has been another one of those totally perfect beautiful autumn days. Clear skies, brisk morning to warm temperatures in the afternoon. Today was the kind of day when one just want to get out and do something. Dianne and Bridget had sort of made plans to go out for breakfast which is okay by me. We were up and ready to go by 9:30 AM and met the kids over at the local VI. We had a great breakfast with great company. Following breakfast we returned to the house to hang out for a couple hours. Bridget and Dianne were caught up in conversation leaving Asher and I defend for ourselves which was great just us guys. We went out to the garage and must around the shop for a few minutes. Asher is just now really began to explore things like grandma's house grandpa's shop which I think totally fascinates the little guy. Ash is totally enthralled with the tools in the garage… I am not sure if he has made the leap that tools directly modifies wood but cancel that think he senses that. We briefly viced up a piece of wood and sawed and sanded a few minutes then it was off to explore other parts of the yard. We checked out the garden, grandma's garden and grandpa's's garden and wandered around the backyard for a few minutes.

Next we took off to explore the neighborhood. Asher wants to see everything he often walks behind me and thinks he's pushing my big power chair other times just walks beside. At the neighborhood we often walk and roll in the street. At 10 o'clock in the morning our streets are pretty deserted. We checked out the new neighbors and their dogs and we did the walk around the block. It was fun and a new experience for us. Asher and I have not been that close at our time together is only been since retirement. Think Asher has matured and I have got the time now to spend with little people. I don't know if our time together like this will be a weekly event but it's kind of begin to feel that way and again that's okay with me.

I Really Am Lucky :-)

I am fortunate all things considered to live in a neighborhood that has many great services all of which can be accessed readily by me in my power wheelchair. That means I can take off on Saturday morning and get to State Street and catch a bus in a direction as long as I am patient. Sure, Saturday service, all weekend service is a bit slower than weekday service. The times between buses can be as much as an hour. I can wait the hour if I know when that hour is going to over. Especially if the time to wait is it an area where I can be busy doing something productive even if only reading. A number of months ago during the summer I downloaded the local bus companies app for cell phone and this greatly made a difference.Now I just enter the point where my bus originates from in the point where I want to be picked up and the app will show when the next two buses will be at that bus stop. I am anticipating this app will be greatly beneficial during the cold months of winter. I could stay in places like Starbucks, 711 or even wait around the house take off when I know the buses will be at my bus stop. I would just have to make sure I build in enough time to cross the intersection.

As I indicated we have a 7-Eleven convenience store, our credit union, to ShopKo a number of fast food joints i.e. KFC, Arby's and some Asian fast food. Granted, we had really be lucky if there was a movie theater, real movie theater and real food market. We have a very small health-food type of market that sells homegrown produce but it's just not the same it's catch as catch can and their prices are superhigh. But the fact that in our neighborhood the 711 convenience store and the McDonald's has a Red Box. At the 7-Eleven the red box is on the outside of the store making it terribly difficult if a person is in a wheelchair to be able to use the red box independently whereas at the McDonald's, across the street the red boxes inside very convenient to use. McDonald's is currently undergoing some sort of modification and even though the restaurant remains open they are not accessible at all right literally there's no way for a wheelchair person to get into McDonald's by themselves and from what I can see from the outside they no longer have a red box. Recently I have been forcing myself to use the red box at the 7-Eleven. So yesterday I rented a couple films, I actually ordered them online which is great when it works. Yesterday the reserve movie system did not work. When I went to pick up the movies I ignored her red box not read by credit card. I came back called red box central they agreed that there was a problem with that red box in the credits for two movies later that afternoon Dianne and I were out shopping and I got the movies I was more than surprised this morning when I returned the DVDs to the 7-Eleven and machine still would not accept any directions – – Dianne drove me to another McDonald's not far south of our house.

It's not perfect, my neighborhood, but it almost is. I love zooming back and forth from my house to State Street usually a couple times a day. I think all the neighbors watch out for me especially when they drive since I'm often in the road in my power chair. It looks as if I will have pristine weather for the week. I really am lucky.

Lunch With Jerry

I was pleased earlier this week when I tweaked a friend of mine about having lunch and he responded immediately with the date which was yesterday downtown Salt Lake. I am so pleased with the current weather we are experiencing along the Wasatch front. Here enjoying cool but dry days sometimes cuneiform is 70+ degrees, perfect days for “tarmacking”. Tarmacking is writing the local public transit system all over that transit systems service area.

We had contacted each other over Facebook (a fact I immediately forgot… Senior moment) and agreed to have our meeting at our local Asian food place downtown Salt Lake. This is a great place for me since the restaurant directly across the from a downtown TraX platform make it super easy to get there for me. When my friend was working I believe it was equally easy for him since he was employed by a a major Utah newspaper housed downtown Salt Lake City. Now that he's retired himself with a little more difficult but he was more than eager to have the meeting. I spent the morning trying to confirm with myself the time but could not find an email because there was none. I vaguely remembered 12 noon be in the target time so I made sure I was downtown by 11:30 AM sitting in front of the Cindy Lee restaurant.

I was surprised how cool it was in the “Canyon” downtown Salt Lake. I'd wished after I got off the train I attacked my hoodie with me. However I did find some patches of sunlight by the restaurant and found a Wi-Fi with enough power to use my voice to text feature on my tablet. I was just getting in to posting an image to my Facebook account when Jerry showed up. Jerry looked great I thought in jeans and a baseball cap. We shook hands and went directly into the restaurant. Cindy Lee's has morphed itself numerous times over the years we have used the little restaurant as a meeting place. However I noted with some dispersion the last morph. The quantity size has greatly been reduced for their lunch. However as justification sense I was there to spend time Jerry. We merely got to talking I think to the chagrin of our waitress was very no-nonsense and wanted us to order. Which we did when she came back with our water.

When my great frustrations is that you can only visit so much within a hour or so that usually takes up a lunch meeting. I wish we were closer which we met more often selected understand Jeri thought processes better. My friend is so smart and worldly and somewhat intimidated when we speak. I'm so grateful and lucky that he treats me as an equal but I don't feel that way. I feel like he's one of the big kids and I'm just little kids. Jerry's traveling now going this place and that… He does things like go to spring training of his baseball team, or take a week and go down to the Shakespeare Festival in St. George are breeze out over the weekend to Grand Junction Colorado to attend a concert of the 60s folk singer and hopefully to get that folksinger to sign an album cover of an old vinyl album Jerry still has. These things are cool I could never pull something like that off I would even know how even if I had those resources or the resources to do this. I admire Jerry because he is so full of life even now even being older than I, I'm still focused on the late-night terrors I suffer every month or so. He's not afraid of dying cities go live until he does got appreciate that. Jerry had an idea, he would think up captions for cartoons that I would draw. He saw a couple pieces of my work a year or so ago and has not let it go. He is always seeing great talent in me and I appreciate that. So I've been sending email reminders see if he comes across to listen captions and then out torture myself into trying to deliver such a rendition that will do his caption good. Either way it's fun to have a project is funded work with Jerry for however long is the time we have together.

Lost Wallet

I did it again! I cannot believe it this last weekend we were getting ready to go out to do something, I cannot remember exactly what but I was gearing up to head out and for one reason or another I went to check my wallet and it was not there! I then began the search of myself my backpack in my power chair. I have a small pack on the side of my power chair which have actually been keeping my wallet in the last couple days. I immediately was not concerned I felt sure the wallet was somewhere either in the house are in my backpack. The last place had remember for sure that I had the wallet was at the coffee shop Starbucks when I paid for my latte. I even stopped in at Starbucks and asked the question “Has anyone turned in a wallet?” Of course nobody had. At my earliest convenience I found a space and began to systematically go through my backpack looking in each pocket were conceivably I could've stuffed my wallet in a moment of haste. I hoped beyond hope that my wallet was safely nestled beneath the battery charger that I carry in the large pocket of my backpack but alas it was not there either.

For some reason I I was not all that concerned… I knew I had little cash to speak of mainly transit money i.e. dollar bills and quarters so was a very much. Of course there's always the credit card/debit card and for some reason that didn't bother me either. We diligently begin checking online to see if any outrageous charges had been made to my card accounts but there'd been no actions there to speak of so that was good which again led me to believe the wallet was somewhere in the van our in house. We did some quick one overs of the house… No wallet we did scour the van… No wallet and then out of the blue Dianne was checking messages for messages and there it was a call letter indicating he had found my wallet that we need to set up some sort of meeting to where we could get the wallet back to me.

I don't know why but I felt weird about the caller. I called the phone number he left and the person I got was not the person who made the phone call I had to get a hold of him at another time which was okay with me. I called another time a day later and there was just silence and then upbeat to leave a message which I did. I don't know why but I was getting spooked thinking that maybe the caller was going to try extort some money in order to get the wallet back. I had no reason to justify this just felt weird. Then I called again and got a hold of the guy but he could not talk very long he said something about minutes. Dianne suggested that he was probably poor and had to watch his cell minutes that made sense I guess. I had already decided if there is any attempted extortion I would just leave the situation immediately, cancel my cards just the tech $20 could buy and start over again as well as try press charges if extortion entered the question. However, that never happened I was just being silly.

We finally made contact and the holder of the wallet said could be a memory area and we could meet somewhere and make the trade-off. That never happened I don't know why but he said he couldn't make it and could I meet him overall his area which is way over on the west side. So Dianne and I at this point were extremely anxious to get the wallet back. So we decide to meet at a fast food place close to his apartment. The guy was just a kid and a nice kid at that. I was surprised. We had already decided to offer/give him 20 bucks for his honesty. He was not going to take the money we literally had to thrust the money at him and I will stick it in his pocket but finally he relented and took the money. We seem to shy and nice guy. I'm so lucky he is the one found my wallet. Next time I may not be so lucky. I have to make a better plan.

Thank You Bob!

I was mildly shocked and surprised yesterday as I was working on one of the monthly letters that I write when I noticed a Facebook update or our request for inclusion to my Facebook group of one of the dads of one of the guys I used to hang with 50 years ago, Robert DeRell.

Robert DeRell was in my ward( religious community submit to a parish). He was a bigger than life personality, I think their seven or eight kids in the family and Robert sold Kirby vacuum cleaners. He always remind me of Ronald Reagan, and he always had an idea about everything. He was always thinking pushing himself and his family to be better than they were. He was a legend in our ward particularly regarding his golden Kirby. Seriously he had a gold-plated Kirby vacuum he won for selling the most vacuums in his area in one year. A gold Kirby is a sight to behold.I don't know I think I was seven or eight when this happened and I knew it wasn't real gold but he had outgunned/sold everybody else that's just kind of guy Robert was.

As I indicated Robert DeRell was the father of one of my best friends growing up. I watched them from the outskirts you had a really interesting relationship with his boys. The actually did stuff together, they genuinely like doing stuff with each other. My friend Greg would actually make fun of his dad good-naturedly and went back and forth they had a good time with each other and I hate to say it that was something I never had. I did not have that relationship with my father. I didn't spend a lot of nights over at their home but some and always enjoyed the feeling that existed at the household. Their house much like ours revolved around their religious affiliations in church work.

My relationship with this family and every other aspect of my life change significantly with my spinal cord injury when I was 15. I don't blame anyone particularly except just the time. People just didn't know what to do with folks with disabilities and the reason I bring this up is that of all the people I knew at the time I think Bob was the first may be only to help me reenter life as someone normal. Please realize this was somewhat weird but still I felt I was getting back into life. It is probably two years after my trauma, I pretty much gone to rehab and was back in the school and I was a normal adolescent with spinal cord injury, in a wheelchair. I needed money, I needed to date I wanted to I want to get back my life but I could not find any way to get money and I hated asking my parents for money. We never had money I always had the feeling everything was hand to mouth. I looked and looked for part-time jobs and full-time jobs during the summer but it just was not to be. Then one day Bob asked if I wanted job and of course I said yes. I should've heard the bills and the alarms go off in my head or paid more attention to them. But I didn't I just wanted cash. Well, the job Bob offered me was setting appointments for vacuum sales presentations… Telemarketing. This is before I had any idea of how effective telemarketing could be. I was defeated I couldn't sell myself I couldn't sell anything else I tried to make those appointments in the back room of Bob's Kirby storefront on Broadway Avenue there in Boise. I left about an hour into the project totally defeated. But in hindsight I'm so thankful that Bob was there and took a chance on me even though I failed he let me fail he gave me the opportunity.

Bob has to be ancient now, I hope he remembers me. I don't know how much I really want to rekindle relationship with Bob since we have gone separate ways in our lives, which means I have diverged from the path he probably would have had me choose in my life. If he wants all communicate with them I owe this guy a lot.

Low Tech But Effective

This is probably going to be a short one but I want to get something up on the blog just the same. Few weeks ago I was at one of my meetings, A T for assistive technology Council, I've been part of this counsel for over 20 years and I really believe in the whole concept of assistive technology. I hadn't attended the meetings last couple years as I finished my work life and I was on loan to 211 with United Way. I was glad to get back on the A T councils mailing list. One of the people on the council is a PR person from Utah State University. She works with all forms of media and tries to increase the amount of assistive technology the community is aware of any given time. She knew that I had done a number of interviews which I put up on the Internet as podcasts couple years ago. She did not know that I had also made a couple of videos describing different aspects of low-tech assistive technology. She said she would be interested in seeing these videos. So I've been digging around my old video files and actually found one or two that might be entertaining if nothing else.

Over the years I believe I have indicated that I make sticks, and I won't go into the whole thing regarding the history, resource procurement and all of that which I believe is in one of the 1600 blogs I've done up to this point. But this video is not only important from the aspect of low technology but am proud of myself for having laid down caption space at the bottom of the video. This really took some time specifically to type the dialogue and basically match it up with the video. It took a week or so but it turned out fairly decent. It's a shame we never really did anything with it. I really think we could've and I really would've like to have made more videos. I really enjoyed the process and the ability to make a document that might actually have some value to somebody somewhere. More than one person has encouraged me to possibly do something like this in my glorious retirement.

I actually have another video just called just Bunji I know it's spelled wrong and I will change that when I make her do some work on the video. Currently the video is in a format that would be hard if not impossible to put up on this blog are Facebook so I'm going to have to do some reformatting on that video… That should be fun if I can get the time to do it. I love having to find time to do stuff I was having such a struggle just out of retirement trying to find things to keep me busy which does that seem to be the case now. If this goes over fairly well from the blog standpoint, perhaps I will post more videos in the future. I really haven't posted many videos just because it seems so gauche particularly if the videos are of me… Seems like I've gotten past that wink wink.

King Happy

Maybe it's because I am a person with a disability that I tend to focus a great deal on disability situations when I see them out and about as I do, or maybe it's because I'm a person with a disability that I do not see myself as a person disability and when I see folks with significant disabilities in the community I still tend to stare probably more than is socially acceptable. And also just maybe, because I'm a person with a disability that I tend to shy away from other forms of disability are people (I do not know) with disabilities because am comfortable with folks disabilities just like everybody else.

So on the day what about the lady with the mental health issues I was confronted on the platform waiting for the train for an individual I ended up calling King Happy. I don't know what King Happy's disability was or is all I know was I did not want to get on the same car as him for a host of reasons perhaps the most socially acceptable would've been or is this only so much space on a tracks vehicle I did not want to have to fight over a place to sit. There's also the fact is appearance more than kind of spooked me. It wasn't the chair, high-end power chair that I could never afford or the fact he was as big as I was at least, and the fact he seemed to have multiple amputations. I think I could've dealt with all these easy enough was the fact he was wearing a crown! Seriously, a crown like you'd get at Burger King, this was what made me moved to the far in the platform from King Happy. No sooner had I relocated that King Happy and his entourage relocated too. I don't know if I looked inviting, safe are accepting that he was going to be by me.. Some things one just has to accept.

The morning was beautiful, a perfect fall morning crisp , clear and inviting I forgot to mention King Happy was toting some kind of sound system more than just a radio or something maybe it was something like speakers to is iPad or whatever he had but to put out beautiful sound. This morning he was playing that mash up of it's a wonderful world plus somewhere over the rainbow. It was kind of amazing at one point I think he felt a little self-conscious about the music and he stopped his music player at that moment two or three people came forward and asked that he continue playing his music the thought it was beautiful. Indeed I watched the folks on the platform look like a picture from a Dr. Seuss animation, everyone was swaying to the music. I felt like I was in the middle of a Coke commercial.

The moment was shattered with the arrival of the train to the hospital, and of course me and King Happy rolled onto the same car and sure enough there is not enough for both of us but oddly we were happy as we edged ourt chairs close together and swayed to King Happy's music all the way to the medical center

Dragon Lady Dreams

After last week's rain and cold temperatures we've been blessed with I guess, an Indian summer. You know, that parcel of days following summer when for short season good weather returns though not extremely warm warm enough with cool nights inching closer need to do closer to the freezing point when we bid ado to all things summer once and for all I. E. Patio garden that I've doted on all summer long. Today was one of those perfect Indian summer days brilliant sunshine, the leaves holding on by the last of their strength waiting to turn a brilliant color they plan for this year and then let go to drift to the yard. The kind of days exhilarating one pushing in more energy than you realize that you had to do something you do rarely in this case it was heading back to the local farmers market. I'm not sure but I think our local farmers market will endure maybe two or three more weeks at the most into either the third week or fourth week of October.

You may not remember, last week we also went the farmers market but in torrential rains. We got a few items a watermelon and corn but it was a struggle especially for me, I thought it was too cold what to even get out of the van not this week though. It seemed like everybody in her duck going to the farmers market possibly because everyone felt jilted because of last week. They had not got there farmers market fix for the week they were all out there this week. There Cadillacs, trucks, wheelchair vans and bicycles and dogs. Seem like everybody one to get their last debs in the farmers market before it closed their doors one last time. I guess we were no different. In fact the watermelon we got last week was so good I really want another one for this week. Does once they're gone now be gone till next summer. And what's really good about our farmers market is that a family comes up for Green River Utah and green River Utah is supposed to be the best place to grow watermelon in the state if not the Northwest and believe me there watermelons are worth traveling for.

Every year and every week there is a huge trailer from Green River full of all kinds of melons and garden produce and of course watermelons. I think this whole group green River is one large Asian family there the nicest folks. The whole group seems to be ran by a little lady who's older than all the rest. She is quite a salesperson calling people up to as they walk by the truck, slicing into watermelons offering samples everyone she does a great job selling. I think she really knows doing this to the point where I voice been somewhat intimidated by her. She reminds me of a older Lucy Lu hence the name I gave her the Dragon Lady. Dianne makes friends with everyone and I think over the years she is made close relationships with the Dragon Lady and I actually met her for the first time, the Dragon Lady was really surprised how nice she seemed to be. I was trying to get a picture of her secretly, I really don't like posed pictures but Dianne and the Dragon Lady struck up a pose and I took the picture and am happy with the results.

I don't know if we'll make it back to the farmers market for closes for the year. We got one more watermelon, some beautiful banana squashes corn on the cob and some beautiful pears and who knows what else. I'm sur we'll eat the watermelon by next week squashes to take months to eatand I have images of a couple of visits to this year's farmers market hopefully they'll be enough to last us until next summer and hopefully will all meet again in the embrace of the Dragon Lady.

What Do You Do?

Yesterday was a busy day, more busy than I anticipated even though I hardly did anything. Actually, yesterday was my final day of volunteering for the KU ER fall fund Drive. I was so glad to been able to make the last of my commitments. I'd gotten my chair back from the shop on Wednesday and it seemed to be repaired. Actually it's hard to say what was wrong with the chair something to do with the charge of the battery was so low that it would charge or would even turn on which is very weird to me but what's important now is that I'm back in the saddle and getting back and forth to her need to go. So I was a four shifts I have signed up for it was only able to make two and yesterday shift which was from 12 to 2 o'clock in the afternoon I only took two calls, which is pretty bad if you ask me but they are happy as clams that I came in that I volunteered. I am now sort of set up and looking forward to the spring fund drive and hopefully I'll be able to do more shifts and produce better for that project. In the meantime I am going to have to start functioning or figuring out how to get another power chair. It sounds like Alpine is making contact with my insurance and hopefully will be able to work something out. I would like to keep the chair that goes at least 8 miles an hour and possibly with more features as far as the elevator feature in the leg extension feature which I should've gotten on this chair was too dumb to figure it out we will just have to work this one out to the best of our ability. I knew chair I can rely on the go swiftly is comfortable and affordable.

I was a bit taken aback yesterday when I was on the platform waiting for university trained to come in there is a lady dressed in black, a black duster look like a cross between The Wild Bunch and Matrix. She was clearly agitated some form of schizophrenic state of breakdown. It was weird though good and align to be in some control. I was having some problems with my feet I had not tied my shoes are great tight and my right leg and spasmed out I was afraid it was going to lose the shoe but clearly I guess I appeared I was in some form of distress and the matrix lady was able to focus enough asked me if I needed a kind help but sort of surprised me. I assured her I was basically okay that be all right then she went right back into her land of distress and isolation. She was arguing and crying intermittently. She clearly had been in and out of the legal system in jail. She was having some kind of a conversation or argument with the jailer our law enforcement person some sort that would degrade to bursts of anguish and tears about lost children lost jobs lost loves. It was sad and frightening. I figured I was safe I think most people were safe on the train is used to know what to do with. Most elected to give her white birth and leave her alone to her agony but she clearly was gone somewhere. She got off the train at the courthouse station and I wonder if she was playing the further her trip downtown may be going down to Pioneer Park or even out to the Hub to head to points north. What do you do? She had this weird way of staring right at you so you think that she's talking to you directly and I don't think she seeing you at all as much as she is seeing what inside her head having a conversation there.

There was a collective sigh of relief as she opened the door to wrestled her bike and herself,, selves, off the train. She was definitely headed somewhere. I hope she made it.

Only October

It happened once again during the night the month silently changed and now it's October in all its

October glory. I am not ready for October, I really thought I had one more day this month, seriously-31 days but no just 30 days and I'm at the beginning of a new month.

It's a new month and I'm filled with hope especially hope in October, the first full month a lot of when the temperature will get really crisp the leaves will turn a drop in the killer frosts will ensue making summer for sure thing of the past and all things related with that summer particularly vegetables and other items going in my patio garden. I made the call today, they said they would get to my power chair until today Wednesday, so I gave them all morning and called just before noon to get the news. I think it's good news, kind of good news the chair should run and it should charge though I don't really understand why did not charge in the first place. Mario said something about it was only at 50 V and that 50 V it is not enough for the charger to sense that the charger needs to charge the batteries…? What is this mean trying to follow his explanation in the kind of makes sense in a hopeful sort a way. So I don't know why the voltage of the battery got so low it may be the charger I just don't know but we will see now. I will no longer use the old charger and rely primarily on the “new” charger that came with the chair and hopefully that will make the difference allowing me to charge the battery as it should. Somehow though in the back of my mind I don't think that's going to do the trick I think there's still something else wrong with the chair. Mario did say one of the motors on th chair is going out which could be costly. I'm crossing my fingers and holding my breath that the two motors I purchased a couple years ago, used will be a fit for the motors that seem to be going out now. I was very sure at the time that these motors would work now I just don't know. And actually Mario is going to check with the company/insurance to see if there's any way my insurance might cover part of the cost of a new motor or two. If they weren't that would be a riot however is a set of cross my fingers holding my breath that these other motors will work. And hopefully I don't think that sure is going to fail soon only if it does I will go to this backup plan. Until then, I hope to use my chair as I have been I just need to remember not to run the chair totally flat out not to burn the motor up.

I put away my summer close today Dianne's help, all the short sleeve shirts and all the shorts were put in Big Blue bags that the fall and winter clothes were stored in. We also put some clean on the room which is very much appreciated… Since we had the extra room with the big power chair being gone right now. So I'm officially ready for October and the rest of the winter that's pretty exciting. So whatever happens with the power chair good bad or in different I am ready