Waiting...

I called my mom today. It was the first time in a couple of weeks, for some time I have been having a difficult time getting hold of her. I could tell from today’s conversation that mom is failing. Today mom sounded weak and distant. I spoke with her for only a couple of minutes but she really sounded tired she made a comment a number of times when I asked how or what she was intending to do today she answered,” I am waiting for something to happen”. I think she really wanted to say that she was waiting to die—Mom did not say that of course. Mom could not say but I think she would if she thought she could and not scare the heck out of me and the other kids. I was half expecting mom to say that she was waiting doe dad to come and get hr. Mom has made the comment only once that I can remember and I think that was at one of the reunions when I asked her how she was doing. I guess this is somewhat common in the Mormon culture when a person is at the end of their life and their spouse has preceded them in death. I guess it does not have to be a spouse. I remember when I called Mom when my dad was in the processing of dying that she said that my dad was busy speaking with his dad, my Grand Father Smith. As weird as this sounds it makes sense in a bizarre sort of way, to me.