Its been a stressful week—I have been accumulating data for my quarterly report, that document which purports to show your efforts at your employment for the last three months. I have hated to do these in the past especially when the data shown is not the best data or the numbers are lower then what they could or should be.
Now, I must admit I have gone for over a year without producing such a document just because the data was not there or the need for producing such a document did not seem relevant to me since my program has been rumored to be on the chopping block. I am a government employee a state employee and our state like all states round this great country is evolving through slash and burn service modification inorder to bring spending under control. I have been fortunate to have dodged the bullet for the past couple of years but it looks like I am moving slower and slower and the bullets are moving quicker and quicker and I may be headed for a bulls eye. I fear I may soon fall to the financial downturn.
My boss has been great in trying to save my funding as well as various staff members. We have met, configured game plans, re-invented and re-branded, launched new concepts and held more meeting and finally started producing a quarterly reports which again show little difference in the amount of calls or numbers coming into our darling little call center and the goal is to get larger number of calls coming in—nothing has helped my calls flat lined and it seems not a thing I have done has helped a whole hell of a lot. My funders are dissatisfied at best at the worst ambivalent and are threatened to reduce if not pull all together their funding. My boss is busy and does not or cannot devote more of her time to generate further funding streams which would keep my operation alive.
The boss was out all last week, she wanted me to have my numbers and data together all together when she got back into the office—I did not have it and she was unhappy. I have been working on it all week—there has been semi-terse emails drifting back and forth across the office and lots of closed door conversations and my secretary keeps weeping for no reason. tomorrow its all supposed to come together with the veiled threat “and we'll bring up your performance evaluation to see how you're coming along”. I was getting stressed until last night and Dianne and I had a long conversation about what I wanted to do after or if the work/job evaporated. We decided life would go on and I felt relived: why, I don't know I just did. Really, this stress is not worth it, life is just way too short. I need to get into something enjoyable.
*For What Its Worth, Buffalo Springfield
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