Steak and a Window Show

I forgot about the fire station showing up in the parking lot outside my window. These guys had the lights go on the entire time there in the parking lot so they were there for more than just donuts and steak. I didn't ask in my server didn't tell

I don't know what's happening weather-wise for this area. I think it's just the end of days and the seasons are becoming confused as outlined in the Scripture, prophecy. We seem to be about two weeks ahead of schedule. The days are hot unforgivably hot . Even if we were in the hot season, our hottest season is not THIS hot. I don't know what's happening in the guess I really don't care going to enjoy the heat for as long as we have it taking aim to be sure I'm hydrated, got my head covered and that I have a full charge in my battery.

I've got a confession to make for more than a month now I have not been tracking my weight! I'm ashamed of myself and I'm kind of freaked out as I know I've gained some weight and have been in denial but now I need to get back on the horse or saddle or whatever the metaphor start taking control of my weight and my life again. So I was shocked this morning when Annette, yes Annette and that's another story entirely, punched the button for the bad news and nothing happened. No numbers showed or numerals. Part of me was a static because I did try but another part of me was concerned because I've got a get back to weight control probably sooner than later. So, I decided I would pick up some batteries today then tomorrow when Annette comes for the weekly cleaning she and I can put them into the scales and we can run a ballpark check until Monday when we can do regular check when I'm naked. I don't want to spend a lot of time but suffice it to say Annette is my full-time staff again. One reason or another Jenna does not seem to be working out, and I really like the girl I want to keep Jenna as my backup: model party girl Annette will stay with me. And it showed up this morning just because I had called when after a half an hour staff had not shown up that took Annette another half hour to get to my apartment so I was really off my schedule – – not that I really have anywhere to be ago after all this is a pandemic – – but by the time I met walked out the door it was like 10:15 AM. I chose not to have breakfast and jump on the bus for point North. I've noticed the State retirement as well as my Social Security has been deposited into my account. I felt flush and it wasn't Covid. I decided I would take myself out for steak which I have not done for who knows how long.

I don't mean to sound like an old fogey, but one has to have some specialized skills at dining in these days. Went to Sizzler the epic steakhouse that used to be a get a full dinner for under six bucks not anymore, not for some time. Anyway, you pay for your dinner upfront tell them what you want when they bring it to you. There is some areas that you can get up and move about like the salad bar stuff but it's all very structured now and I suppose safe. I didn't choose the salad bar. Maybe it's just because I was dining by myself but I found the whole experience pretty weird from the redneck couple on the other side of the booth having the most bizarre discussion to some guy who could have been my age given me to stare down. I got the vibe like “what are you doing out in public?” Maybe it's just me. Maybe I DO need to socialize more and get out

Screen Door

Remember, way back in June? June 4 to be explicit I wrote about how I had the boys come over from Utah assistive technology and put loops on my screen door to assist with opening and closing the device. This is the first year of really gotten into using my patio as much as I can which means if I'm going to keep the insect world out as well as felinesI'm going to have to keep my screen door shut when inside or outside and I've been doing that. I really do enjoy having the door to the patio open it gives me the illusion of having a much bigger apartment. I enjoy the ability to have my door open all the time night and day. During the day I enjoy the extra light which comes in my front room and at night I'm comfortable with the door open wide as the world slips by the darkness. The flies and mosquitoes kept out as well as any other intruders with four legs. Granted, I'm still at risk for the two legate kind but that hasn't been an issue yet.

I don't know if this is the problem but, I noticed that once I started using the loops to open the sliding screen door I noticed putting a different kind of tension on the door. Rather than just pushing the door back and forth on the runner through the groove I'm actually polling slightly on the door or maybe a bit more than slightly but polling just the same. Probably within two weeks I noticed that the door was hanging up when I was trying to slide it back and forth I would actually have to once the door was kind of open slide it back and forth with my hand on the edge of the door pushing or pulling the door straight as I can. Then last week the whole door came out of the runners and fell over onto the patio. The first time is able to get Ted are beaten sky to pick it up and put it back on the runners and that was fine but within a couple days the door and come out again. This time (this was over the weekend the holiday weekend) I was able to use one of my sticks with the hook to actually pull the screen door upright and kind of back on the runners. I actually listed my neighbor José, who is a great little nonspeaking English neighbor who is able to figure out what I needed and put the screen door back in place. I slid the door home decided just leave it that way for the rest of the weekend. However on Tuesday of this week I tried to move the screen door back and the whole thing fell over again and it was not until yesterday that I was able to get Ted to respond to my needs. In the meantime I've been thinking of other options maybe a brand-new screen door or maybe new runners can be put down, I don't know how difficult task that would be but it's possible, I even looked at the idea of possibly putting in a traditional screen door that operates on hinges. The more thought about this the more I think this might be a possible solution. I brought this up yesterday at the administrative coffee hour they always have in the morning upfront beforeThey each tackle their day in their own way. Ted finally came over yesterday and I showed him the screen door and Ted reached down picked up the screen door and looked it over and pretty much acknowledged it was a goner. I still figured he was going to slide it back in its runners and tell me to use it and tell you can get a replacement. I shared with them some of my ideas as far as the screen door on hinges goes that he thought that was a good idea, of course making me feel good. Then he indicated he was going to check into, or ever he checks in the things, and assuming what he could do with that he picked the screen door up and walked out of the apartment. I know there are couple apartments that do not have people in them right now source, figuring he was heading out to go get one of those screen doors or he was not go tweak on the fallen door to make it a bit more reliable. His solution was obviously none of these. This all is happening around 4 PM. I have not seen Ted on my screen door sense. Others think about see him this morning and visit with him before I went into the coffee social but I didn't see him and there is nobody else around I could visit with about this issue. It's really not a big deal. I can live with the screen door gone. I just have to shut the door at night which I hate to do it really does make me feel claustrophobic. I don't know why it does not in the wintertime but during the summer I like feeling I have access to the great outdoors and possible cross ventilation…

Down The Rabbit Hole

You know how easy it is to start searching for one thing, on the Internet and then suddenly you slipped down the rabbit hole and who knows when if ever you will resurface. That happened to me is afternoon. I was going to write the blog today on a place I used to stop or rather my mother used to stop on the way home from Borah high school after my accident. Those were close readers of this blog will remember that because of all the stairs at Boise high supposed to go school district in their infinite wisdom thought I should go to Borah high. I was trying to find an image of this little fast food restaurant/hamburger joint owned by a guy named Bud Sims. I'm just beside myself because I searched and searched and not only could I not find a reference for Bud's Frost Top I could not find a reference for Bud who was not only where my Sunday school teachers growing up but he was also the sheriff of Ada County Sheriff Department. I could not find a single reference which is really weird if you ask me.

Not trying to pat myself on the back too much but I'm pretty good at researching materials on the Internet, of course not as good as some but I'm pretty clever. I couldn't find anything and I was getting pretty frustrated than I remembered I have an image of myself standing in the parking lot of my old church on Broadway Avenue, not far from where I had my accident. What's interesting is that in the far corner of the image just behind Larry Greens convertible you can barely make out the fast food joint of Bud's frost top. I'm sorry that's the best I can do but with the kid is just adorable. . Dropping hints about how hungry I was as we dropped off the bench came up Boise Avenue. We would have to stop for the light right at the intersection and the frost top be right on the right. Sometimes my mother would cave in (I think this is when she started on her Dr Pepper phase and perhaps it was a justification to treat herself to a Dr Pepper by purchasing me a corn dog. That would've been around 1967 or 68 and he didn't have frozen corn dogs yet so the dog I would get would be hand dipped in deep-fried and the corndog was excellent. I always ordered mustard on the side and they drenched the corndog like I said was excellent. If you have something that needs mustard more mustard never hurts.

If one does not watch oneself literally hours can evaporate while trying to find something on the Internet. I am still at a quandary at why I cannot find any reference to Sheriff Bud Sims or his fast food restaurant let alone an image. Interestingly, the restaurant Frost Top actually surfaced in the last couple of days. People on one of those websites for the town's history, Boise history actually were talking about the restaurant industry something in the air. Whatever's in the air however is not enough to kick up any mention of Buds Frost Top…

Pondering

I can still remember how hot and clean the summers himself East Boise. The wonderful days of brilliant sun long afternoons spent either swimming that the twin Bridges or swimming down by the river by our “cabin”. There was a time, I suppose, when the Boise River ran a lot higher than it did in those days when we would hang out as kids on the river bottom. We found this magnificent little shed or possibly boathouse (I say this because it was build up on pilings and had a little pier thrusting out over kind of a stagnant pond which is fed by backwaters of the river). Obviously the river used to run right underneath this little shed now a pond of sorts was all that was left. Finders keepers the law of childhood every kind of took over the “cabin”. No Windows and no door just a frame in the roof, and soon to be a pretty decent roof, and the pier over the pond. Thinking back it's kind of strange for as much time as we spent in that area summer winter fallen spring we rarely saw anybody else.

The best part about the river was that there is still quite a bit of foliage mainly trees large deciduous trees. There is evidence that at one time third been significant logging of the area. This may have been the foundation for the cabin at another point in time. There are huge piles literal mountains of sawdust not find sawdust more like wood chips like these piles of disposal area for processed with some sort from another point time it was all alone now lonely wanting someone to play with and we certainly fill that bill. We would take sometimes hamburger, sometimes bacon, sometimes eggs and sometimes meat steaks. On those nights when we could get away with it we would drag our sleeping bags and camping gear and spend the night. It would build a fire scare ourselves silly. But only were these mountains of wood chips but there is also aftermath of whatever logging had gone on great logs and trees which is never been used for event either cut or pushed over now rotting going back to the roots (excuse the pun). This what is ideal for campfire and cooking. This river bottom camping must've been okay because we never were accosted by grown-ups legal or otherwise. We figured it was open territory. We didn't think anyone really owned the area that we were messing in. I'm sure old MacDonald or Roger Fire Ranger would of loved to shown up and wrecked our fun. Thinking back and kind of surprised that old MacDonald didn't show up more than once as we got to our river bottom Camp because we had to cross through three or four independent farms, which are pretty large and are often watched over pretty closely but since we were pretty nondestructive and kids I just forgot away with it.

Boise is known as the city of trees. I'm sure this river bottom at one time was just forested heavily. I would like to see map. Of course, the river bottom is no longer open territory silly rich people have purchased the property of the ground and built Cathedral homes. I guess somebody figured out who owned the ground eventually and made out like bandits. Of course Boise River is a river and by definition is susceptible to flood. I guess particularly don't care they tend to live for today…

Transit Mystery

I Actually got up this morning feeling pretty decent. I'm really beginning to think my butt wound is healing which is a great sign. I did not really want to push my luck but want to get out on the bus and go somewhere. My check from Assist inc. I love this check regardless of how small it tends to be. It's an honorary more or less. David my handler from Assist has got the management to come up with a few bucks for every meeting we attend. It'd been almost a year since we got our last check so the value was more than $100! Like I said not a lot but enough to be able to make a point to head out on the bus for the bank/credit union.

There used to be a baby credit union in the basement at the student center at the community College which is just a few blocks down the street. I loved this branch. I could cash by checks, get new checks actually do anything a regular branch could do except get loans and I really was not in getting loans. But in Mountain America credit Union fast wisdom they shut this branch down. I guess I can see the point as far as volumes of service goes but having a full-service credit union right there, sure made life easier for me. Now I have two options I can take the 217 down about 30 Street South or take the 217 the other way and then switch to the westbound 47 which takes me just a couple blocks west of all working branch. Seems like a lot of bus switching but what else have I got to do?

I really do like traveling in the morning coolness. The day is going be a hot daybut I didn't mind. Interesting however when I got off the bus at the transfer station I was greeted by the image at the top of this posting. I wish I knew the story behind the image. Interestingly, Dianne and I actually had a saying that we used every time we came upon an inexplicable event would most likely say”there's a story there”. A jar of peanut butter eaten three force of the way, the lid from that peanut butter obviously scattered and a pillow of some sort or maybe a cushion which may or may not be related to the overall scene. I got a strong feeling all the items were related. Why would somebody just abandon their jar of peanut butter. I mean peanut butter and peanut butter I know and it look like it was peanut butter from a food bank. I should know I have 4or5 bottles of my pantry. One can gain a lot of pleasure from peanut butter whether creamy or crunchy. I think crunchy definitely leads the diner to feel they're getting a more substantial meal but there's nothing like the coating the roof of the mouth gets from

nice tablespoon heaped with creamy peanut butter. And the cushion that look like it was thrown haphazardly. My imagination thinks a homeless person was sleeping or sleepily having breakfast on the bench at the bus stop when their bus suddenly rollup and caught in a frenzy of not wanting to miss their bus probably taken them to another homeless shelter or maybe downtown park they grabbed their belongings or backpack or whatever and madly tossing the cushion beside. Either way it's a mystery just one of the many I have to experience writing the system…

Summer Read

My neighbor, Billie, who lives across the hall from me gave me this book a few weeks ago. I was a little bit startled because the book is brand-new Billie had obviously gone to a bookstore somewhere and made the purchase. Accepted the volume but honestly I was obit reserved mainly because I just started another book about the Confederacy and its Navy. The book about the Confederacy is pretty much a documentary and seems like it might be a bit of a challenge to read for a slow reader like myself. The book has lots of small print. I see it as a challenge and kind of fascinated with Confederacy right now because of all the issues from the Civil War that seems to be coming to light with the toppling of Civil War statues.

Again, I was surprised at Billie handed me this book it was science fiction. I love science fiction but I have my favorite authors that so hard to explore new writers for me that very rarely do I go outside my comfort zone and read writers I have no idea who they are. This was the case with John Scalzi. I have never heard of him in the title of the book Old Man's War I took as a direct affront but I couldn't be too offended because this woman is older than me by 10 years at least. So when I finished the one volume I been working on for a couple weeks (not the Civil War one) I picked up theScalzi I was immediately mildly impressed. Not only was this hard science fiction but it was pretty racy imparts with a lot of profanity as well as violence kind of reminded me of Robert Heinlein. When Billie gave me this book she must've sensed my hesitation our disbelief that the volume was coming from her but explained that he had been a title in her book club. I was fascinated. This explanation certainly was plausible. I started the read and soon I was quite captivated.

A couple weeks ago when my staff took off for a holiday vacation with her family and didn't return I was kind of freaked out. So immediately had to train two different home health people. The first one didn't quite work out and is replaced by the one I have now who seems excellent but still is being trained. Because of this break in my care I believe I've developed skin breakdown on my rear end which is depressing to say the least. Because deep down in my mind I know the best remedy is to be off my butt which is almost impossible for me to do. The best I can do or that I'm doing right now is trying to recline my power chair is much like can to get the weight off my buttocks. I'm having to train my staff on the use of the specialized take the values especially for would care. I call it the second skin or in many cases the first skin and seems to done a great job for me over the years. My current person has had difficult time but I think were close to coming to some understanding. We'll see tomorrow. Trying to find the silver lining to this challenge has been the book. I try to read every night before I fall asleep. I've been reading this book. Plus I've taken outside a couple of days to read out on the back porch. Today I finished the volume and was pleased with the read so much so they went immediate to the Internet purchase the next volume in this series. I was surprised by how difficult was to find a hard copy of the book. Easy to find something electronic as in a talking book or an e-book of some sort. I cannot read online I have found in the e-books just frustrate me on a number of levels. So by August 3 I should have my next volume Ghost Brigades I'm so excited!now I just have to figure out did Billie give me the book to keep or did she want me to just read the book so that we have something to discuss things are never easy…

Mormon Myth…?

As many readers as this blog know typically during this epidemic of reserved Fridays is my washday. It's a great day to do my wash and get ready for my weekend just hanging around the apartment since are still stuck right in the middle of this epidemic. Friday is also a great day because it's the day that I I have staff command for the usual which means I'm usually done with my program by 8:30 AM which if I am quick I can get to the laundry start my laundry in hopes that I can get the whole thing done by 12 noon. One of the benefits of Friday laundry is that NPR has a number of interesting shows a like to listen to what being Radio West and of course the perennial Science Friday. I heard the teaser for the show this week and it was about the miracle of the seagulls intruded to talk about that particular event but even more interestingly they spoke about Mormon legend versus Mormon myth versus history, real-life history are what really happened.

This whole history thing is bad enough often revealing the dark side of Mormonism ie. the massacres of Native Americans in the Utah area. On this week show where was the customary history professor from local heathen school University of Utah and then a Mormon history professor type from the renowned BYU. First let me reiterate in short in short, the Miracle Of The gulls. The second year the pioneers are in Salt Lake Valley they are swarmed upon by huge crickets and as they battled these hard shelled insects whereabouts are saved when flocks of seagulls flocked around gorge themselves with the crickets and when puked about in the great Salt Lake or something. I'm a believer, I always believe this happened but both professionals indicated that the incident probably never happened or at least not in the way that it is described and probably not at all but that it was a faith promoting story to build a local myth. Both of these professors agree this is probably what happened. The BYU guy quite floored me by promoting these ideas. Talk about myth or legend and the different kinds of myths and their uses. I have to say I was disturbed.

The LDS church/Ward that I was raised in the first six years of my life there is a huge painting on the side of the wall the chapel of these poor benighted pioneers men women and children beating this not Elsberry crickets as they could looking and joyous relief as these large white trash birds descend on the hordes of crickets. I would stare at this painting for hours and just marvel. I totally believed, the talked about the myth of the miracles of Joseph Smith. I believe that all the miracles, the huge ones like seagulls, elders receiving mysteriously a parish badly needed shoes and apparel shoes disappearing from a shoe shop owned by the elders uncle. Though they did not say I got the feeling this is true of the big ones to the visitation in the sacred Grove, the visitations in the field and the Prophets bedroom one morning when he was but an adolescent. I so strongly believed in the power of faith and my bad luck that if I didn't take stimulus measures of being unworthy that I myself would be subject to visitations from the big boys to bring about the Lords work. How embarrassing I am. I'm so concrete. And I must say I was a bit warned for my buddies in the book club I belong to a writing group. One is a fairly renowned individual in this local culture being a religious writer and the other is a bit of a Catholic/Christian theologian who had no problem with actual versus myth. I always held tight to the “rod”. Even now my rational side declared to myself that everything's a myth everything is a lie I have a hard time supporting that thought process. This is like playing poker at the big boys you got the whole mortgage on one dealt hand and if you don't have the cards you need to be SOL just as if you support science and intelligentsia and in fact the myths and legends are fact been quite literally you bet the farm…

I Just Want One

You know what I really miss? What I really miss is the ability to go into a market and buy something individually whether it's a  popsicle or ice cream treat or a dinner roll/hotdog bun.. The marketing monster of the world or the USA has gone this way of making it so you have to buy a dozen or whatever. The other day I was hankering for some hot dogs at home but I did not want to buy a whole package of hot dog buns that's usually eight I don't want eight I want two or three hot dogs buns and enjoy 3 hot dogs from the package and then put the rest of the wieners away in the freezer until I feel the urge for more hot dogs. I remember I used to be able to go to the bakery of my Market and pick up 3 hot dogs buns if that is what I wanted. I used to love these buns they had that great aroma that great flavor and they were crunchy crust. I didn't even care if I had to slice the buns open myself. You had to know the tricks to. If you left the buns out overnight the seem to instantly hard not to the point it only be good for Thanksgiving dressing or good old bread and milk (search “bread and milk” you should be able to find an old posting about our family meals of bread and milk is probably worth the search). If you put the uncut buns into a plastic bag that they all got soft on kind of yucky but that's still not be bad totally for good old dog. You have to put these buns in a paper bag and close up the paper bag tight until you use them again. This should only be within one or two days at the most. But now, even if the bakery is making their own buns they won't sell to one of the time you got a bite eight. I'm not eat eight hot dogs in a row just use up the buns. Just thinking about this next week grind my teeth.

I used to love stopping in the market on a hot summer's day in buying like a “Sidewalk Sunday” ice cream bar or a Fudge bar or a Neapolitan ice cream sandwich or a double stick Popsicle, my favorite would be root beer, red cherry, banana not necessarily in that order, oh yeah and orange and lime. Now the best I can do is roll out of the market with a bag of 18 assorted colors. I often do by such a bad but I have to make sure I get the basic primary colors and not all the other weird flavors out there and popsicle land. Then I still have to figure out a way to get the popsicles home before melt starts and then threw him up into the freezer. I just want one popsicle, ice cream bar, ice cream sandwich you know what I mean.

The reason I can't get just one item is filthy greed I don't know it's from the producers of the item like popsicle factory or the greed of the supermarket who don't want to have to break these items up to sell individually. I'm sure there's all kinds of health issues I'm not looking into but still I think it's unfair. It really would not hurt their bottom line about much it would certainly be a lot fairer to people who are single or double you don't need to buy a whole bag of anything just to get one or two items of they want right then after all this is America home of the impulse…

Boys of Summer and Stinky Fish

Televised baseball starts tonight and normally I could care less and normally I would not devote time and space to be writing about major-league baseball but this is the pandemic in the new way and everything's different.

It's not that I hate the sport I don't, I just do not have the patience to watch a game that drags on for hours literally. I think a lot of people attest my indifference to the sport is not plain dislike to the fact that I'm a disable individual but that's not the case at all. When I is able-bodied I was pretty much forced to play the game because all my peers played the game when school got out whether it was Little League when I was very small probably starting around the third grade or so to playing right before high school. Our junior high school did not necessarily have a team but we still played in the summer some form of organized baseball. However my then the game was becoming way to competitive in the friends that I had sacrificed my summers for were growing apart for me and so they went their way and I wouldn't mind. That's just not baseball fishing is another issue. I was speaking with the folks today at coffee and of course today be in the eve of a major state holiday means a lot of people are either going fishing or reveling in past fishing experiences. Since I'm the only male that traditionally attends this copy group I have to endure stories about the kids fishing. Some are just must be the time for boring events or maybe just because they're free in many cases. Fishing my parents loved fishing as my brothers and sisters probably did to I could barely stand the time that we would group is a family stuff the car or truck or whatever with gear, coolers stuffed with sandwiches fruit and whatever else mom thought we needed as well as the big thermos jug of iced Kool-Aid or whatever knockoff was cheapest. It's not like we ever had real pop of any kind police that I remember. Then we had to drive for what seemed like hours till we got to a spot that theoretically had “potential”.

Fishing equipment is inherently stinky usually because it housed dead fish at one time or another and we all know about dead fish and stink. I would be given a fishing pole when I was very young it would be baited for me and I would trudge down to the water and throw the line in as far as I could more than once I actually threw pole away. I did this at division them or diversion dam whatever. You think my folks would've learned. I just couldn't figure out why he would be entertaining to throw worms in the water to see officially the and then pull the fish in, wet, slimy, active stinky beasts but you still had to cut their guts out and scale, chop the heads off and then have to eat at some point in time. Sadly if not luckily we didn't catch a lot of fish at least I did not. All I knew is that efficient adventure was lost time for however long it would be not only an travel to and from that time during that was lost time but I guess it was better than staying home from throwing hay on the rack.

Tonight is baseball. Two teams play each other in an empty stadium because the pandemic. The American people is so selfish they're willing to make these people play baseball in a dangerous situation just fulfill their shallow needs for summer recreation/entertainment. I might even watch maybe if I can find the event for free somewhere. I'm sure between Amazon prime and Netflix someone is trying to make money on the game. So I'm not watching the game per se as much as I'm watching how the game is going to be televised, what the color folks are going to say about the game itself and how they going to do that in empty stadium. I'll be interested see what kind of numbers to tune in and if this will slack the thirst for the boys of summer…

Free Ride

Everything is different now due to the virus. Everything except hostility towards people with disabilities. I know this is a generalized comment which may or may not be accurate but I'm certainly getting some feelings in that direction. I haven't had some of these feelings for 20 or 30 years.

So far this is been extremely dry summer no rain whatsoever, that is until today in Salt Lake County, the only day I have to be out on the transit system and it rains. The goodness it was not torrential, though we need probably torrential rain, there is enough rain to be uncomfortable even though I took a hoodie with me. I also make sure that I have my Covid mask as well. I don't want to go anywhere without the Covid mask. This was the first time I had ridden the bus this week. Last week I wrote the bus was confronted with an angry bus driver. He is not necessarily angry at me, I don't think, as much as he was angry at the situation the world was in and he in particular being an essential worker. Even if he did not direct his anger at specifically me it was my kind, people who use wheelchairs, that was making him get close and personal with the likes of another person in this case me. By law I have to be strapped into the bus. I don't necessarily like this law. If I had my druthers I would not be locked down at all. I'd be happy to take my chances. I often and always maintain that if a catastrophe hit the bus lockdown power chair is only going to save the power chair not necessarily the person riding. I did not point out to the driver that this Covid thing works both ways how does he know he's not the carrier? It would be just my luck to have a driver who is infected leaning over all around me secured me to the vehicle.

As I alluded to in the introduction these feelings of angst towards myself and not new by any means. 20 or 30 years ago after coming to this area, I was transportation coordinator for the independent living Center here in Salt Lake. It was my job to “help” UTA make it more accessible bus system. To do this I stopped buses on my bus route, this was before the buses have lifts – – or actually they did have lifts but the drivers did not want to use them because it would take too long – – if the driver would not use the lift on the bus or the busted not have a left eye proceeded to crawl onto the vehicle and dad and beg someone to bring the chair up after me. At first the drivers hated me I really messed up their time frames. You just have to suck it up driver that's the law and I'm coming aboard where you like it or not or you're going to hear from the administration. I'm getting those feelings again every time I board the bus, will not every time there's a lot of good drivers out there who care about their job who care about their people and just want to give the best drive possible. I have got a lot of things on my mind these days they don't need any more stress than I already have. One thing I have noticed every time I board the bus, since somehow I've lost my bus pass, I go to pay my bus fare and the driver puts his hand over the farebox says not today. I don't know what this is about a kind of tickets of the do with the epidemic but I'm not sure but I still want to get a replacement pass as soon as I can so there's no such thing as a free ride…

West Gate Chains

Remember my blog a few weeks ago a company with an image of my favorite, “secret” side gate to Redwood Road from my gated community, the apartment complex? You remember those shiny silver chains that totally secured the gate from opening. These are heavy-duty chains to some mood have to have a major wire cutter as well as major strength to challenge and defeat these chains and padlocks. Well guess what? The change are still on the fence and I haven't used the gate in over two weeks. But you know what? I'm adapting. I kind of hate to say that but it's true. Now, I just built the extra time and minimal distance involved in going around the corner and out the gate on the south side of the building. There is one drawback however, the Southgate is also closed at about 9 PM which means the only way out of the complex is out the front door and kind it through the park or completely around the block which I don't want to do in the summer and for sure not in the winter. In full disclosure I must also confess that Jennifer, this building's manager, and great broad, gave me a actuator which actually opened the sliding gate on the south entrance. This of course primarily used for individuals who own vehicles to enter and exit independently. Thankfully I can say I have not had to use said actuator but I do have it and hopefully I can use it when I need to. And hopefully I will not need to use the Southgate. This is a bit of a lengthy intro but but it works. I of course in my belief of the sticky wheel gets the squirt have been in Jennifer's office to her three times wondering what's going on. The front office finally came around and let me know the reason the gate has not been repaired is because they can't get the equipment i.e. electrical components needed to get the gate operational. Guess what? Just where the parts come from? You got it China. Boy did we shoot ourselves in the foot this time? This is really one of the first semi-political, Covid, pandemic/depression or whatever that is truly affected me. Like I said I'm okay, I'm adapting otherwise there's a little inconvenience but overall I'm doing okay.

The chained up Westgate has got me thinking however what other areas do a need to really start thinking about as far as things aren't like they used to be? There's the computer of course and all of the peripheral electronics I use. My cell phone in my tablets are all Chinese-based one way or the other. I'm sure there's a host of components to my desktop as well which I suppose conceivably could crash and without replacement parts I could be up a creek. Thankfully, I'm an American, which means I have way more than I need are even deserve I could limp by until relations thaw. The big thing that scares me the most is how many parts does not power chair use?! This is the same question for my motorized bed. If I were to lose key electronics for the bad I could have a major problem! The power chair I'm kind of worried about but not too much after I do have a backup chair which I could cannibalize should the need arise. And for the time being this places like Utah Assistive Technology Program which has a lot of spare parts… Right now. I suppose in a major electronic famine some of those things could change very quickly.

So right now I've got a lot of things to worry about, a lot of “what if S? Sometimes it's easy to focus on one thing and for me it's sort of how my going to use, effectively a pair of wire cutters on the back gate…?

Sloucher

I'm not a sloucher you know that pejorative term for someone who sits back in the chair unevenly and basically slouches. The term does not have a good reputation but sadly I am a sloucher not because I want to but because the decay of my mortal body. Well, besides decay maybe I should be honest and say obesity has a handedness as well and that's on me. It took me a long time to even accept that I was becoming a sloucher in the physical therapy trade I think the term is sacral sitting: that phenomenon where the individual tends to slide forward in his chair causing that person to sit on their lower spine rather than their buttocks. Remember a number of years ago that fiasco when I was brokenhearted when I ordered a new manual chair in hopes of pushing myself more literally. I wanted chair exactly like the chair I had been using which was quite old itself and had been ordered for me at another point in my life. When the chair came the seat was elongated. The chair was huge and I could never see how I could use the chair and of course the salespeople refuse to take it back or do anything with it. I was stuck with the chair that I never used. I don't know how I could've pushed the chair the long tried to live in it. As I look back on that day now with my propensity to sacral set maybe they are correct with the call but I would never use the chair still, I couldn't.

I still have a manual wheelchair that I probably should be using especially now that I have the tile on the floor in the apartment. It is the long time since I sat in that manual chair. I don't know how much progression my sacral sitting has become. I know in my power chair I'm always sliding forward in the chair and having to actually stop what I'm doing and took my chair back and have gravity pull me back into the seat.I have a fairly decent seatbelt in my power chair but I have to get some work done because the chairs way to slack. I still have an issue if it strapped me into tightly. So obviously my spine as part of the problem. Another part of the problem is my belly, there I said it. I think my Billy is gotten so large that is pulling me forwarded my chair and causing me to slouch. I resolved the issue by succumbing to the reality that there's nothing I can do really. I have to live with the fact that overweight spinal cord injured old guy. I continue to watch my calories as good as I can. I try to limit treats and meal quantities. I'm not bitter cry about not having great and wonderful food and is much as I want to make it sound like I'm deprived because I'm not! My life is so good I can barely stand it. I have to severely watch my diet but even then I think I'm still putting on the weight. I used to weigh myself every day, then every week and now it's been a month since I weighed myself the results are too painful for me to accept. This morning I was lying in bed thinking about the fact that I'm 70 years old this coming February which means like I'm old as the dirt. Then I thought I'm pretty fine and 69. I really need to make the best out of the rest of the 69 year I have. I guess what I'm saying as well though I'm 70 years old next February my days on the dirt ball are becoming fewer and fewer matter how lucky I am. And I'm pretty damn lucky but if I don't be more careful when I wake up dead and be astounded…

What's Behind The Mask?

Dianne gave me a couple of great facemasks that she got all her sister was living here a few months ago. This mask are heavy-duty and quite efficient – – I hope. But, I cannot wear them all the time we get a little stinky plus they're pretty hot in the heat of the summer. Anyway, I was returning a flashlight to the True Value store across the street and saw they had some masks and purchased one. I don't know if the mask is is efficient as the black ones but it's colorful and lighter weight and a good backup mask.

Of course, everyone's wearing masks now or they should. I cannot believe how many people are still resisting the reality of Covid 19. There are couple folk I know that do not come right out this say they don't believe the virus is real but sometimes they hint they are having problems believing. We always present the question to me “how come if this virus is so prevalent that I have not met anybody are no ever anybody who knows somebody personally that is either positive testing are as had the virus?). I just back away and try to change the subject as quickly as possible. Obviously they don't want to hear the truth or accept. But I am compliant. It's taken me a few months to really get into the fall compliancy mentality but I really believe I got a go through this/we got a go through this to get some kind of other side and I still do not know what that's going to be. What's interesting though is leaving the house/apartment without the mask and immediately stopped in my tracks going back and grabbing the mask from the hook on my rack. When I'm out the community and everybody else is wearing masks it's hard to smile at people who are used to. I miss seeing their faces and their smiles too. Sometimes I can tell there smiling by their eyes they twinkle sometimes and the lines in the corner of their eyes modulate a little bit. And of course when they say something I can usually tell if they're smiling by their voice. Kind of weird though it's like wondering what they look like without the mask on. I had the feeling with a thought the other day I wonder if this is what the Muslims or whoever, those who walk around with their faces covered, when they communicate with each other all their lives. Do they have dreams of being in public and suddenly realizing that not wearing her masks? Like the traditional ubiquitous naked dreams. You know that dream you have when all of a sudden you realize you're at the supermarket, or at the office are in class and your totally naked. I wonder at the masks of become the new naked dream phenomenon.

So I totally built mask wearing into my lifestyle now. I don't know if ever go back to going out in public without face coverings. Interestingly, it served like just another level or layer of the human being to hide behind safe that it might be I don't know how good it is in the long run…

Welcome Back

It's really funny how life works, at least for me, you never know was just around the corner. Also concerned and a bit perplexed and a little annoyed when Annette my home health professional as well as housekeeper never came back from her scheduled vacation will more than a week ago maybe two weeks ago. In that. I have three different home health people the last being Jenna who is really kind of cool. I think I could really get into her as a home health person. She served me twice each time we learned little bit about each other and had a number of things in common. She's great to work with, take direction well and I think pretty dependable. I was beginning to think of her as the next long-term person.

As the week wore on I kind of expected that here's something from Annette but I did not and then yesterday in the afternoon I decided I better texture and see if she's still considering cleaning my apartment on Saturdays. To my delight I started getting texts indicating that she would be there or here this morning about 8:30 AM. I was relieved and surprisingly excited at the prospect of seeing her again. The apartment actually is in pretty good condition with the help of Jenna and myself trying to be somewhat responsible/proactive. I was delighted again when Annette knocked on the door and appeared this morning ready for work. She was clearly excited to see me as I was her and we hugged and delighted to be in each other's company once again. Then she dropped an interesting bomb and that she informed me that she would be showing up on Monday to start my home health service again. I was a bit perplexed to say the least but Annette assured me she talked with the company boss who had rehired her after the “job and not worked out”. I did not pursue what happened and felt somewhat conflicted with her coming back as my attendant. Since I'm working through the agency I kind a step back from any ownership of the attended the attendant management. Clearly, Annette was was totally excited to be back helping me. Since, I had Jenna only twice and there were some issues cropping up some that would have to be managed I am more than willing to go back to status quo with Annette with the knowledge that she may or may not be still actively looking for employment elsewhere. I think this experience been somewhat cautionary for her before she jumped ship again. The win-win part for me is that I don't have to train somebody else if I can indeed keep Annette as my home attendant I still have the capability of knowing Jenna is still in the stable of attendant care folks and she might be available if and when I need either backup for when Annette may not be available or when Annette decides to jump ship again and swim for greener oceans.…

3 Degrees Of Glory

These weird chairs showed up in the laundry today I think they look like penguins.. They got stuck in the first floor laundry because it was first floor it would never happen on the other floors…

The LDS faith in one of its many facets has an end-of-life category that has three tiers. Depending how one lives their life depends on where they land after judgment, whatever judgment is. The most exalted status or level is called Celestial, the second status Terrestrial and the least desired is Telestial and boy can I go on forever on these three areas in a blog but that is not what today's blog is about except for general reference.

Yesterday as you know was Coffee group. We tend to prattle just about everything one where the other but I have to admit I was a bit shocked and surprised when the conversation turned to first the amount of hospitalizations and deaths of folks at the facility in the last couple weeks and secondly how the last round of fatalities of all been located on the third floor. Then I was furthermore shocked when the ladies started openly talking about how great it was to live on the upper floors and not having to live on the ground floor. There's three of us who live on the ground floor and we always sit together at coffee and we looked at each other little quizzical and was kind perplexed at the conversation. When I first moved in I thought it be kind of cool live on the third floor and be able to look out over the park in the able to have him overcome of privacy when out on the deck if you're careful. I felt the same way on the second floors too. Let me refresh on the ground floor, where I am, there is the front office with the building manager and the common room where any functions take place. The common room opens up to the patio where the gas grill is located. On the second floor there is a quite nice library. I love the library it really has a number of great volumes not only of classics but trashy paperbacks, some science fiction. There's always something to read in the library. There's also a computer room that has three terminals and a nice printer. There's also a craft room which is been taken over by puzzlers which drives you crazy great waste of the room. And there's a candy machine and a junk machine, you know candy bars, chips and stop. On the third floor there's this great media room with a large screen pre-flatscreen device with a number of DVDs real live videotapes. There's oversize couches and a couple of high tables in the back. Such is in the top of the building is vaulted ceilings with Windows at the top. Which really quite a cozy place and should be used more but nobody really knows how to work the big screen and knows exactly what streaming technology might be available. Really needs to be upgraded but it's kind of nice when people come to visit me sometimes we escape up to the upper room. The reason that I explain all this is that from yesterday's conversation at coffee I got the distinct impression that these people actually think we might be somewhat better off than the lower levels and especially the ground floors like me. I don't see it that way aside from the building doing a complete pancake like in the earthquake I think I have a better option of getting out of the building in emergency then the old coots on the second and third floors. I did not bring up any of these obvious putdowns know I was somewhat tempted and maybe I was reading too much into it. Maybe I was being a little thin-skinned.

Each floor has their own laundry, I think I've rattle on about this before, and I have used the second-floor laundry before when somebody on the level that I live on had already grabbed the front end loader which I use. I would go all the way to the third floor (the celestial floor) if I needed to but luckily I doubt there would ever be a time when all the front loader should be in use at the same time. I do remember however, even though nothing was said, a kind of got the fisheye when I rolled out of the laundry with my basket of clean clothes …

Sitting Pretty

I was speaking with a friend of mine who owns a home health agency, actually the owner of the agency that provides my home health attendance. He was at my apartment the other day providing services to me because my regular person unexpectedly quit the agency. Anyway, we were speaking and somehow we got around to people at risk with the Covid virus. Of course, everyone's at risk but there are those that are more risk than others and people were seniors and people with disabilities are double whammy and of course I'm that person and there's a target on the back of my head. Having said that, I understand I need to be carefully understand that I need to wear my mask one about and I understand that the smartest thing is not to go out but to stay inside, at my apartment for however long this break outlasts. I've been good actually. I have amazed myself at how long I stayed at the apartment and I'm willing to stay longer but sometimes I just have to head out.

For a number of weeks I've been toying with the idea that I need more sticks to fashion hooks and helping devices. I'm not trying to get these devices out to other people I just want to have more reaching and gathering capability. Actually I just want to feel like I'm creating something again. I've been really pressed with the dowels that I found it Lowes last year. I miss actually working down a piece of wood into a hook or whatever. I am glad that I found dowels especially the 0.625” x 72” dowels. They're perfect, not only ability to be a pretty good hook but they make a great reacher and bed making device. I know that sounds strange and I'm kind of still amazed that I figured this out but it really helps in moving the pillows, sheets and blankets around on the bed and fashioning them into neatness at least acceptable for me. The 72 inch reach is incredible. I reached things all over the apartment especially the upper shelves were the best tricks I found is that I can lie in bed and reach the switch for the overhead light. I discovered this last winter when the lightbulb exploded over my bed. You can do a lot with 72 inches in length. I have fashioned the material I use for gripping and holding. The dowel which is 72 inches is lined not get strong enough that I can use it to lift my legs up over my other leg when I dress. The 72 at dowels perfect for my needs. I bought a couple last time I went to Lowe's. One I cut into smaller lengths which worked pretty good run needs the other I just kept at the 72 inches. The last couple weeks like I said I've become aware that I need to have more dowels. My brother was over the other day and I almost asked him if he would consider dropping by the store and picking up some but he's so busy I just couldn't bring myself to ask. I learned my lesson when I tried to incorporate the task of purchasing these dowels to my home health person on that before she vanished. She just couldn't figure it out. Like everything else it's best to do it yourself and today I did that. I can't believe I've drug my feet this long. But, I got to the bus stop jump the bus built with a grumpy bus driver and got myself dropped off at Lowe's store. I found I needed and got myself back to the bus stop in time for the next bus outbound and took me home.

72 inches of course is 6 feet and the sticks are at a slant as I hold them over my shoulder so I am well within the ability to ride the bus home. I still might ask my brother to pick up more sticks at a future time but right now I'm sitting pretty…

Grim Reminder

The place of I live in, Plymouth View Apartments is a senior living project. Y'all know that. It's not assisted living or long-term care. It's an apartment complex, plain and simple, granted it's for seniors those 62 and older. If you live in here you go take herself are be able to make arrangements for own self-care – – self-care is not one. I'm fine with that actually I was just about five is anything but I needed to find a place to live quickly. So without prelude that should not be a surprise when people hear at the apartment complex kickoff, expire, check out or whatever euphemism one wants to use for die. Therefore it should not be a shock when folks do pass away. Anyway last week to the newer apartment owners “moved on” the quite possibly better housing. Both of these tenants were males. One was a retired ski instructor which I thought was an excellent shape and the other was in morbidly obese fellow who was able to get around under grave difficulty but was still able to meet the living requirements here at the complex. That was a little peculiar at least to me possibly because I am a male that these two folks were males of the species. And statistically I should not be overly shocked but males of the species because of their various histories and because of the hard labor that many males have experienced the bodies are just worn out so again it kind of makes sense. But still a shock. They didn't die here on station there carted off to the big red box died a few days later at the hospital.

This morning I was in the manager's office looking for some fiber tape to reinforce the spine Of the Stephen King novel, paperback, I'm currently reading. So, talk about Stephen King naturally led to discussion of the two latest decedents of our fine establishment. Annie, who is like our on-base social worker, Started talking about DNR's and wherever not these two folks have them on their doors. I of course was confused. I've included a picture but on the back back of the door of everyone's apartment Space is a nice plastic sleeve just perfect to keep reminders for folks who tend to forget. I use mine all the time I keep my past to the senior center across the street (there's a card they want to swipe every time I go in there for the critic keeps a record) I also keep coupons for free coffee across the street at the coffee shop and I keep payment for my housekeeper in this plastic thing that the housekeeper can pick up the cash when she leaves. Today I found out that what that plastic sleeve hanging on my doors for I should have my DNR in their or the document that house my medical needs, pharmaceutical regimens like I said any do not resuscitate orders finally want honored! Holy moly that's grim but I guess makes sense even if I didn't live here in this prelude to the antique shop. It's just that you just hate being reminded all the time that the Grim Reaper is standing by the gate to the apartment complex smoking cigarettes until time to do his job…

Tuesday Afternoon

Don't you hate those little buggers in the back your mind that tend to bug you until you do something about them? My bugger right now is the knowledge that I need to suit up and go across the street to my market to pick up a few things. I'm not desperate because I have more than enough fixens for dinner And really I have one banana left which I will eat tomorrow morning. This of course means that I must do the market, for sure, on Wednesday. I sort of got into a food preparation thing this morning as well as putting some order to my freezer box in the refrigerator. I'm about out of food that I prepared, so that I make that I eat throughout the week. I need to make some more now to replace what I've tossed out. One of the major ingredients that I use is celery. I use it particularly in a rice dish I call Frank. If you search for “Frank” I think somewhere in my posts to this blog I have the recipe which calls for celery. I'm also on another solid binge so I need other items besides celery to include green peppers, broccoli, cucumber, yellow onion, red onion anything and everything that gives a good green salad a crunch. I was already the head over to the market earlier today but got sidetracked and all of a sudden I realized it was 3 o'clock time to listen to Market Place On NPR which I do every weekday or try to. I understand the local affiliate does a rebroadcast of the shower for evening at 7 PM but there's other things I need to be doing at that point in time. So now it's almost 4 o'clock and I'm really sorry lost my urge to do the shopping for today. I've got enough stuff, like I indicated earlier, to get. But I made the mistake when visiting with my neighbor across the hall. Billie indicated she needed a couple things to the market and of coarse I volunteered. She needs bread, milk and eggs, the standards. Now I'm wondering if she still needs those items and how bad she needs those items.

I think if I'm quick and single-minded. I have a history of wandering once I get to the market and looking at everything that I don't need. If I could just keep my focus to grab the things that are essential and better on my list I can be in and out in less than an hour's time if I can do that I can get the items I need and what items Billie might need and still get back five in time for the local news to begin its local droning. Even though I don't appreciate the local news and the national news I feel somewhat committed to watch and evaluate and get through that two-hour block of news time. So, going to suit up grab a big brown basket head across the street just because it's Tuesday…

Regrets

They seem to have come early this year, the hot afternoon winds which blows relentlessly from the South. Temperatures in the upper nineties And it's hot almost unbearably hot if you're a teenager Sorry Throwing hay from the ground level up to the wagon then from the wagon to the stack. This morning there were clouds outside my window and even know I knew there'd be no rain seem to be promising.

When you're moving hay, morning is the best time, at least that is how I think. When dad was home are often before the workday began (his regular 9-to-5 type job) he would roust us out of bed and we would drive the tractor and wagon out to the hay fields and bring in the load before dad left for work. I think he knew that without his ramrod supervision anymore significant “hating” would not get finished until his return. And bringing in the hay Was my brother Ross's and my responsibility. At eight or nine years old the concept of loading hay into the wider was almost overwhelming. Ross would've been 13 or 14 and his focus in life was not loading hay. We tried however, throwing the pitchforks in the back of the rack and then Ross firing up the little International Cub tractor And we would bounce out to the field to the mounds of hay. You might remember from posts a few thousand posts ago regarding the process of cutting the hay and raking them into mounds to dry until we came by with our wagon pitchfork those mounds into the government and wagon. We are small farm, a very small operation. When the hay had cured enough we look at the hay onto the wagon. It was hot and dry and you got covered in hay dust. We usually went between two rows stopping at the top of 4 mounds. Then we would attack the mound with our pitchfork get a good fork size that carried over and throw it on the hay wagon. It was not uncommon to see a family of mice scurry for the lives when we lifted the mounds of hay. Our cat Midnight, before it's Unfortunate quadruple amputation and headshot, was usually with us looking for said vermin. In the early morning, especially after waking and a quick breakfast moving the hay was not so bad and dad would leave usually after helping unload the first rack of hay. Then my brother and I were out on our own. As the day moved on and the heat increased our relationship seemed to deteriorate. The harassment I would receive escalated from just verbal agitation to physical aggression. Older brothers are experts at psi warfare And I could be readily brought to tears. Even though we had only about 10 acres of hay from a nine-year-olds point of view the job seem never-ending. If we were lucky we would get maybe three fourths of a load and then take off for the bridge or would swim away the afternoon. We had every intention to get back after a “quick” swim but would be terrorized when we look up and see my dad's van pass on Boise Avenue on his way home. My brother and I would mount our bikes And race home If I my dad out in the field, by himself, throwing hay onto the wagon where we left it. He wouldn't say anything, I think he was too angry we were just each (my brother and I) grab our pitchfork and begin throwing hay out of the rack.

I think it broke my dad's heart that Ross and I were not cut out to be farm boys. Maybe it's because we're adopted and we didn't have that agrarian gene wandering around in ourselves. I think back and shiver with a little guilt of how painful that must've been for my dad. I wish it could have been different, I would like to think five had the way back machine I would go back and work harder to load more hay and to be more responsible But loading hay I guess there are no second chances and the hot wind blows on a July afternoon looking out my window…

Low Rider Signage

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One of the best things about living on Redwood Road is that there's never any dull moments. Granted, you must also deal with the fact there is very sold any quiet moments as well. A couple times a year or should I say summer there is a great more as literally hundreds of motorcycles raced down Redwood Road heading north to the interstate for one of their epic rides. It's true. Salt Lake has a couple of motorcycle clubs, real motorcycle clubs not just rich guys who can afford flashy Harley-Davidson's but folks whose nomenclature club is a cover word for gang. Anyway, Redwood Road is a main thoroughfare and they love the noise. I'm also fortunate enough to little couple blocks from a major fire station. This place is beautiful, modern, sleek architecture like a wild animal waiting to pounce, thrust open its doors lives little red vehicles scream down the street with a north or south doesn't matter or even East or West. These fire engines seem to love thrashing the silence all weekend long particularly after 8 PM. Once again doesn't matter I have never cease to be amazed at how well the human body adapts to its surroundings. Now, it's very rare that I even attend to the noise engulfing the streets outside our gated community. I lived through all that commotion with no problems with everyone still while I get flat-out irritated some little teenager or other punk makes a big deal of taking the mufflers off their vehicle or their installation of glass pack mufflers that seem to roar like a jet engine, annoy so loud it actually annoys the nerve endings a least mine. It's life on Redwood Road and I like it.

That's why I was amazed last week (I forget what day could went Tuesday possibly Wednesday) at 5:48 PM when also been shared a giant crash and see a flash. I wasn't totally asleep but again I was not totally awake either. The digital clock beside my bed began flashing and reset itself to zero hours. There have definitely been a major event in my neighborhood. I have to admit I was a little shaken up and I almost considered that I should get up at least find my throw on room in case I have to Exit the property quickly. I was surprised I was not hearing any alarms going off in the building. Our building/property is adjacent to a major filling station operation, you know lots the gas pumps as well as a small shopping area inside for junk food. I had visions that perhaps one of the pumps had exploded and if so were we goners on the side of the wall? Nothing happened. I was surprised Not to be hearing any of those whales from emergency vehicles just down the street.I remember now was Thursday, coffee group day. I got up got dressed and had quite a bit time to kill silent next-door to the quickie Mart and I asked them about what it happened earlier in the morning. One guy didn't know anything look like he'd been sleeping but the other guy perked up and said “oh yeah some truck made a wide turn out there on Redwood Road and took out the sign at the Arctic Circle. I looked over and sure enough Rocky Mountain power trucks were all over the fast food joint cleaning up the mess from the crash. A couple days later, Friday when I checked in with the front office were all huddled around Jennifer's terminal I had the distinct feeling there looking at porn. Actually what they had done was gone through and check all the security cameras, and we have a lot of security cameras, and sure enough they had the footage of the accident. That was amazing the guy made a wide turn took out the sign smashed his vehicle into something which made the big noises.

I noticed later on the day they got most of the things cleaned up. What was kind of funny was that the did not replace the long poles that the Arctic circle sign was on and now they have just short versions. Maybe that's just the get by enable replace the uprights later on right now they've got a low rider sign…

Milk Run

I don't know if you can read this or not but it's notification on my food bank door indicating they will be closed until or about 27 July! This is not going like freak me out or anything that's not like I rely on the food bank except for another form of socialization and sometimes getting some interesting items to consume.

It's hot now, dangerously hot for others and I guess for me too if I was not careful. It's not that I'm overly careful out in the sun, I'm just not out in the sun was nowhere to go aside from grocery shopping which falls under essential except for me which is more shopping is recreational. A couple of weeks ago I realized that my milk supply was getting low. I got hooked on these boxes of milk that used to come in the People's food boxes (a number of people here get food boxes from the food bank once a month and all the boxes have large cartons of milk which the people don't want and they give away on the sharing shelf). They are either not packing milk like they used to our folks are getting wise and either keeping them up themselves are getting it to other people who might want it all I know is I'm not getting it like I used to. The milk is great, I may have even written about it before I'm too lazy to go check, the liquid is hermetically sealed and has a shelf life of six months or so probably longer but to be safe. This stuff is ideal for camping packing to work lunch are school lunch for those at college in such. It's a great idea I cannot believe it's not offered in grocery stores around here. The milk I get comes in quart sizes And handily stores in the refrigerator. The milk has a great flavor and lasts a long time in the fridge. I've only recently started purchasing the product. I would get enough from people getting rid of their milk that would carry me through the month but not any longer. I the dollar a box it's a deal. When I could not find the product anywhere in the Valley here I went to the Internet and did find the product there but at three or four dollars more than the cost is through the Family Dollar. Also, I can get 2% plus whole milk plus the usual 1% that we get from the food bank. I got five boxes I'm set for a while.

I've learned that it's not wise to rely on milk from the food bank on Saturday mornings. First it is catch as catch can some days is milk other days there is not. On those days that there is milk you have to move quick. The only reason the milk is at the food bank is because it's fastest expiration date. Too often I've gone to use the milk the next day and the milk is gone bad. But I'm really digressing. This morning I found a crate to put on my lap to put my hall in from the food bank. When I came around the corner I noticed the backend of the building was not open as usual – – this is where the produce section of the food bank is. I got to the front door and it was covered with these pink notifications. Someone in the food bank staff has tested positive for corona. Food bank will be closed for at least 14 days targeting the 27^th as the opening date. That's okay I've got everything I need especially milk. I don't rely on the food bank other than a word form socialization and gratification for getting a deal. However not today and not next week either.I'm just worried about those folks who really do need what little food they can get from the food bank/pantry…

Caving In

I'm caving in on myself. I know that sounds weird and it is weird but it's true. This is a physical piece of enlightenment that I've had to accept over this last year. I know I've written about this in the past regarding my dear friend Barbara Toomer, now deceased, as she got older and older. I couldn't figure out why this was happening to her or what was happening to her and now I wish had been more thoughtful and supportive. It is not like I was not supported by always tried to encourage Barbara in her endeavors to save the world especially the disability world. But, I did notice this physical phenomenon. I saw this with my friend Greg Naccarato as well as Deborah Mair my former boss. Now I'm seen it within me. I am literally caving in on myself. Perhaps worse is how old this makes me look.

I have to admit my level of vanity is much more intense than I ever thought. I want to look good just for the mere fact of looking good. I looked in the mirror I don't recognize that person or body. My second wife took great satisfaction in saying that I looked good or that I was in that category of people who think they look good no matter what they really might look like. I did not believe her then and only recently have come around to that line of thinking. I do like the way I look even now in this advancing form of physical senility (that even inaccurate not real statement or category or whatever?). I'm continually working out, every day on my bike, pushing my rickshaw and even now I'm beginning to play around lifting dumbbells that I have in my room. I know this is not going to build body mass backup especially muscle mass by like to play with the idea that continued exercising, dieting and food management can at least slow the process to some degree. And then the back of my mind there's a little homunculus shouting “great honk you fool 70 damn years Old! What do you think? When did I get old? I can't believe I'm this much of a cliché but I am and if it weren't so classically comic I think I would be devastated beyond repair.

But every day, little bit by little bit, I sneak in front of my full-length mirror and gaze at my body and except what I can and try to forget that which I cannot. My skin is now sagging and it's got that weird texture of a cross between reptilian old and foam rubber. I'm thankful for any hint of my body remembering phrases of poetry from my youth and generically trying to re-create. This is truly appreciated. This morning I broken a new home healthcare person. She is delightful and I think I will enjoy working with her for however long. Interesting however she is definitely a one hour person whereas last couple of care people to let me fudge a little bit of the timeline. That's okay. She was amazed and impressed that I actually get myself up in the mornings into my chair before she gets her. I'm impressed that I do that and I'm totally thankful that I am able to do so. Every day I murmur a small prayer of thanks that I've gotten through another night independently And I have not totally caved in on myself…

Another Bump In The Road

It's a shame that have already used the title “Sucker Punch”But that's the only fitting description I can give to the events of today. It's not so bad that I would call it a black Thursday but I'm certainly happen to step back and examine my options.

Actually it's been a pretty good day. Sunshine, heat, fairly adequate sleep and a good coffee group. It's Thursday which means that's the day I take care of myself in the morning. I'm so fortunate to be able to get myself up and out of bed, shaved in ready for the day totally independent – – I am so damn lucky! Anyway, I'm a little concerned as I go about my morning progress. Annette, my home health staff, is going to be off tomorrow but she's made arrangements with the agency I use to have her shift covered. I guess this is no big deal and it's getting easier to deal with. It still means having to work with a new person who doesn't know me but again I feel that hey, this is just for one day and things go back to normal on Monday when Annette gets back from her family function at Bear Lake. Seriously, this is a good thing it will give me somebody trained as a backup for when Annette is gone again. These things happen right? After all, I work with an agency they supply my staff, I can't expect Annette is going to be here forever after all she's got a given me fair warning about getting her “history scrubbed” so she can go on and get a better job and make better money. So, having preluded all this And trying to be as proactive as possible I call the agency to make sure that I will have coverage tomorrow morning. I've learned my lesson especially with this industry – – you got a be proactive you've got to cover your ass.

The first call I make of course is over lunch hour and nobody's in over lunch hour but only from a message and get on with my day. This morning of course I have a mishap and dump everything off one of my workstations on the floor and so I'm in the middle of trying to pick everything up in my phone rings. It's the agency. Good if nothing else I know there in and now be able to get back with them immediately following picking up the mess. My phone indicates a message is been left so I figure what the hell I listen to the message (I don't really mess around with messages most the time I just call the phone number back) but during the phone message I learn that I've been assigned a new person! And that new person will be starting on Monday morning!! I kind of freak! What about tomorrow and what about Annette, Annette never indicated to me that she found the position and was leaving the agency. Everything She said gave me the impression that she will be back on Monday with pictures to show me of her vacation and we would start just as usual. This of course did force an immediately call to the agency. The little batch of brightness branch of the phone, Camille or whatever, reinforce the fact that my person was gone and she wasn't coming back but the new person is just as good.

I of course feel the sucker punch, betrayal, what the hell? Then I have to stand back “sit” and go with the flow. I can't believe and that didn't give me a heads up even if it's as Camille says that Annette just found out about her new job and give immediate resignation. I hate the idea of training a new person but maybe this is best. Annette as well as be in my healthcare staff she's also been my housekeeper on Saturdays. I don't know if this will continue. This kind of panics me but what I have learned through numerous trade outside this is that everything goes on in that I need to go with the flow and there will be a Friday morning and a Monday morning and my life will get back to some form of normality this is just another bump in the road.