More stress Monday

 I'm kind of freaked out although I knew something was going on but just hearing it finally from somebody who really knows is very unsettling. I've been having this rough area on my bottom for some time when I say rough area I mean you know when you touch it with your finger it's all rigidity and rough like dried skin and such. I've been trying to medicate it by keeping it lubricated with some nice cream that I've had for some time it usually does a great job but recently I don't know if it's gotten worse or I'm just paying more attention to it or I'm not sure what but I'm going to find out one way or the other. But anyways this morning when I transferred into my chair I always check the pad that I slept on and noticed there were little places where the blood was at little just drops probably but I couldn't for the life of me figure out where that would be coming from but it was coming from somewhere and of course when Melissa came, my care person, she did a real good body check and it looks like that spot she said look like it got scratched or something. We decided to let it go until my wound care specialist got to look at it. Fortunately that was this morning today it was Cameron. He looked at it finally and diagnosed the area as shearing. I knew I would one day be subject to this because my transfers are just so poor I just really wasn't ready to hear it today but I wasn't that bad either at least you didn't seem to be too concerned. Cameron put dressings on the wounds on my butt and we're going to see how well they work. I'll see Cameron again I believe on Thursday or maybe Friday depending because Thursday is a state holiday I don't know if these guys will be working or not. Actually I think the worst case scenario would be I'd be set to bed until that area heals and I assume it will heal eventually I would just have to really practice patience on a major scale- which I'm not used to. I would hope if I did this I'd be able to get up once or twice a week or whatever if I have to take off and go to a meeting or something. I'd hate to give up my meetings. These are my main forms of Authentication. They give me validity. 

Riding the above statement makes me think of the scene from one of the Spider-Man movies where Peter Parker is pleading with Tony Stark been to Peter keep the Spider-Man suit and Tony says something like if that's what you need to be a person then you shouldn't have the suit. If my going to the meetings is what makes me a person then maybe I shouldn't be going to these meetings. There's an analogy in there somewhere and I think it's relatively valid but I think you know what I mean. I need my exposure to the public through my work at these meetings at bringing about change and opportunities for people who are low income or folks with disabilities. Am I bad?...