Saturday's song

It seems the evenings come too soon for me anyway. It's like I'm done with lunch pretty soon. It's three something and then at 4:30 time for the news and before I know it after that it's time for bed. I like to try to get to bed a little early on Saturday nights just because I have to get up early enough to be dressed and out the door so I can get to the restaurant by 8:00 a.m. this is a bit of a challenge but I can usually make it without problem or issue but I have to go to bed early enough so that I wake up early enough. If I go to bed right now it's just 10:00 p.m. and I'll still be up for another 20 to 30 minutes as I get ready for bed. Going to bed at this hour ensures that I'll be awake usually by 6:00 a.m. which then allows Me 2 hours to get ready and go down to meet the kids for breakfast. It's probably the television / flat screen that I think I'm beginning to watch way too much. I'm so addicted to the 5:00 news when I can find it there's another and there's no function going on like basketball this or basketball that. I don't see any relationship between my comments here and the fact that I do watch the Utah Jazz play basketball every time they broadcast the games. This might be that I just want to see them choke which has been pretty fulfilling the last couple of months that they've been playing. I think they're almost in last place if not in last place. Of course they lost yesterday and I think the next game is is tomorrow or maybe or maybe Monday. There are just a few more games left this season I'm pretty soon I'll have to figure out something else to fill my evening.

 I know this is way short than the 500 Words that I should be doing today but it's Saturday of a long busy week. I'm totally thankful that I have no major issues from in and out up and down. I periodically get weak and read some of the comments on the disability blog or loud rehab or whatever and this week I got caught up in this or one or two individuals who had severe skin breakdown the rear end and how difficult it made their lives. This got me thinking as I fell down the history hole about how I had a number of decubitosaurs right after my accident or maybe a year after my accident after I got home. And I was on my belly I had to have the light on my butt to heal up the wounds but it finally happened and I haven't had a real decubitus now for decades that itself is a blessing..

Fearing politically

 Another day of almost doing nothing! Granted the day was overcast and looked cold but I understand it wasn't that cold. I could have gone out and done something that I really wanted to maybe a movie or gone grocery shopping. In fact instead of going grocery shopping I actually used the shopping app that I've been working with the last couple of weeks. I got a few things I felt that I needed more juice some vegetables some raw vegetables like broccoli and lettuce and such but I had them delivered to the apartment that is so civilized especially if you're carrying heavy stuff like 98 oz of juice. I watched part of one of my Marvel movies until the new started then I watched the local in the National. I don't know why I do this because the dues is so predictable and so depressing and anxiety producing that it would probably be wise for me not to be watching so much of the news. I think this whole Trump thing is finally getting on me emotionally. Unless something happens unless somebody does really something significant I think this country is going to go down the tubes especially the seniors, those with disabilities and minorities. Sadly I fit all three of those parameters does that make me for sure a goner? I can really see the minorities being wasted by the white upper class Administration it's really kind of frightening. Just looking in and not really testing the water so much but as things get closer and closer to whatever is going to happen you can sense the pressure growing at least I can and maybe that's only within myself but still I'm sensing something awkward in a bit discouraged. It's kind of weird to see those who are legal and Military and folks with power cowering under the local or the national Administration. They're letting that big guys get away with murder in order to save their own skins it really is kind of scary and sad and very unreal. It's truly amazing that this could be happening now in America. I'm just waiting for cuts to start coming down through Social Security and other support systems that I use. I'm really counting on the fact that I am part of the board of directors that administer this building I live in and hopefully we won't be raising the rents so high that the folks who live here can't live here anymore. But who knows what will happen if the power structure that runs Utah non-profit suddenly gets cut and they go bye-bye. Really is frightening I try not to think about it but that's the classic chicken in the head in the sand operation probably totally unhealthy but I don't know what else to do. I'll just keep getting up living the best way I can doing good where I can I'm going to bed when I can and hope that this too will soon pass

Drifting to sleep

 This is has been  one very very busy week. I did not intend to have as many functions outside of the apartment as happened this week but still I feel good and somewhat involved with being on the go as much as I have been and luckily this was the first really nice week of the spring. That's about to come to an end now as a low pressure system works its way into the state tonight and tomorrow and the weekend looks like it's going to be upset if not wet and cooler much cooler. Will not see Snow by any means but possible rain and Lowe's in the upper 40s low 50s. I am such a weather man it's pathetic I must be one of those senior things that you pay attention to all these little minutiae items as if anybody else cares about them except yourself. Remember yesterday I got cornered by the bus driver who wanted to see my bus fare and all I had to show him was a card pair of Transit card that was totally expired. So I figured the fact that I didn't have anything to do besides coffee this morning I would head on down to Utah Transit Authority and get the new bus pass. I called of course and they informed me if where to go and I should have known this because the last time that I went through this predicament I did the same issue. Anyway they indicated as I thought the Meadowbrook facility which is 700 West and about 3500 South or something like that. I know the building will just because I used to spend a lot of time there at board meetings. It took me a while to figure out the best approach to go to this place but eventually found the right bus to drop me off the right place and I got there and filled out the paperwork or the UTA person did and gave me my card and asked how much money I wanted to spend to fill it. It was a card that you had to tap on to the machine that bus that pays the bus fare. This kind of freaked me out because of the whole point of getting this card was so I don't have to pay bus fare. So, I'm freaked out I asked her why I need to spend money then she informs me that it's not what I expected that it was I wanted well it's called a I disabled low fare card not the card that I just gotten and to do this low fare card I would have to go to the other UTA administrative site which is further downtown all the way downtown actually. Long story short is that I called again to get the right address and to consider when would be a good time. The person was very nice looked up my name saw that I did have a card at one time and basically mailed me out a new one. I put about $8 on the other card just so I would have one if I got challenged Again by a focused bus driver. It just makes me feel somewhat Shady now not offering to a tap my card on the farebox and then have it drain money out of my bus account. I'm going to keep this low fare card just so I have a backup in case again I lose the regular wheelchair user disability card it's supposed to rain tomorrow I don't think I have anywhere to go..

Flake

 Luckily for me it was a real spring day today, nothing but Blue Skies and a high pressure Zone allowing the brilliant sunlight to heat it up to 75° a perfect day for traveling. The only thing I had scheduled for today was a trip to the podiatrist. It seems like I've been waiting all month for this day to happen some of my toenails are getting out of control and I've got some pain on my big toe that I need to ask the podiatrist about. Fortunate for me is the podiatrist is just down the road from me it's actually quite a jaunt it's all the way to 80th South Road end you have to change buses at 70th South area. It gets quite dicey at that. Of time I ride the 217 down to the change out wouldn't then becomes the 218 only problem is the 218 runs every hour and so it's like always waiting forever. So many times I afford to go the extra 10 streets or whatever in my chair it's a little bit teeth drawing and depending on the weather it can be a bit challenging but today was a good day for travel. Two or three things happened that I could actually spend time writing about but I think I'm going to go to focus on just one with any depth. As the true reader knows hi totally enjoy the transit system of the city and really enjoy riding the bus as well as the train. Fortunately, I have a Fair reduction card because I use plot the main line service and not the service for a specialty groups this is essentially a free ride. Of course they want you to show this card every time you ride the bus. I rarely do only when some little Buckeye wants to flex their muscle and see my card and that's what happened today. I had already been to the podiatrist and was ready to come home. I had gotten to the bus stop all the way from the podiatrist office to the main line switch station. As I was entering the bus the driver actually challenged me to see the my card. Like I said I'm rarely if ever asked to see the card so I've even stopped wearing my little bad thing over the shoulder that has got my card in it. So I felt a little taken back but I went through the whole process and found out that I didn't have my card in the card that I did have was expired a couple years ago I look like a terrible flake- - which I probably am. Now however hopefully tomorrow, I've got to go to one of the service station centers and request a new card. It's a real pain in the butt. I'm going to go down in person tomorrow hopefully and get it all in one spot otherwise I have to fill out some stuff on the internet then wait for them to send the card to me it's all a royal pain. But I guess it's better than to be a flake.

Two for Tuesday

 I'm kind of proud of myself. This has been a pretty long day for me two meetings and I made both of them on time. I knew it was going to be a little dicey but it was easier than I thought that's for sure. I had my regular assist meeting down by the library and that done my research that after that meeting if I could get out in time I would be able to just go to 4th South which is a rate really across the street and catch the number four that would take me up to just a block away from the buffmyre center where my afternoon meeting would be and my lunch. My first meeting went off without incident we had about 20 documents we had to sign off on and because I had requested that we go as quickly as possible we got done in pretty good time. I caught the bus at the library minutes to spare the look right up to the buff Meyer building after the drop off. It was a beautiful day for traveling that much I must say. Blue Skies and pretty warm temperatures actually. A wore a pretty heavy sweater shirt which kept me pretty well protected plus I had a hat which kept my heat in.

The second meeting typically called the assistant Technology Council or at Council was okay. They had the usual boxed lunch meal which wasn't bad I just wish they would have something besides water for the beverage. However the sandwich was feeling chips were good too many chocolate chips in the cookie but a cookie is a cookie is a cookie. The assistive technology meeting is changed quite a bit from the meetings of the old days. I fear I may have written about this in the past but it's still worth repeating. This was a agency meeting set up for not only agency folks but all other programs are services or businesses that service folks with disabilities we had a pretty good turnout all the time I'm used to have a really good hot lunch more or less. Not much meat but a lot of vegetarian spaghetti which was sort of disheartening but it was still nice. I represented the Independent Living Center of course when I first started going but there are a lot of other agencies that were there as well not So Much Anymore very slim pickings. Before I sort of Representative like I said independent living but now I don't represent anybody except myself. I don't know if I belong there anymore sometimes I think I'm getting fish eye looks from the new director. I need to visit with her to find out if maybe I shouldn't be coming anymore. I really don't have anything to report when it's my turn to report as far as things I'm doing for assistive technology and places I've been and people I've influenced it's kind of weird. Still though I think it's important at least I show up to give this agency or program some form of credibility. I think anyone who's interested in assistive technology show up to this meeting if nothing but solidarity to the concept. I totally believe in a-t and my support should be enough to justify my attendance and eating of the sandwiches

 

Buyers remorse

 I don't quite remember if I shared with my readers about the motorized ordered for my power bed that came and it was the wrong motor for the bed. I think I did go on some tangent about how much I hate to order things like this and then it's not what is needed or it's totally wrong then you have to do the whole thing of contacting the sender and seeing how to get it back and all those kind of things. I realize that I'm probably out the money for this piece of equipment. It's a fairly significant some of money and I'm willing to walk away from it just because I don't really know how to go about fighting for the situation if that's the right term. I mean the company even says when you buy the product there's no returns on the situation but I don't need to have a kick it around here. It's totally in the way all the time and it seemed to bexxv haunting me as well that here's just another major mistake I've made. So over the last 3 months I've got it together packaged it taped it up and kind of got it ready to go and even found the local office to send it back with I can't remember the name of it right now it's usually three letters. With the help of my granddaughter or grandson we taped up the box really well and then when I got to the place where they send the materials back they helped refill out the document to return the product. It's going to cost me $45 to send the item back I don't know what's going to happen at that point in time. The vendor says they don't want it back but what am I going to do with something I can't use? And I would be more than happy to add a few more dollars and get the motor that would work on my bed. Right now through the good wishes of my good friend over at the tech center he was able to use the motor that broke flip it totally around and hook it back up. Two of the features continue to work the headboard raises up which I use in my transfer from the bed to my power chair and then the bed itself raises up and down which I use also from the bed to the power chair as well as being able to raise the or lower the bad enough that I can just roll into bed at the end of the day. So far this Jerry rigging fix has worked out just fine. I'm still expecting the bed to crash one of these first days and I don't know what I'm going to do when that happens. Maybe I'll sink another couple of hundred into a motor at this time I really do know what to look for. I don't know if I had ordered the product again and take the risk of getting another wrong item but I would be willing to sacrifice myself esteem and maybe go through and fix it guy or something those guys seem to know what they're doing..

Sunday's sentiments

I've really come to like the solitude which prevails the apartment once I turn the flat screen off for the day. I don't know why it always strikes me as soon as the silence is and why I don't do it sooner. I think I'm just a weak vessel and like to have the noise and the images on the screen doing my regular waking hours. I washed way too much marble today a couple of the old movies of The Avengers. I would have felt overly guilty had I not met the kids for breakfast this morning and had some good interaction with the guys. Jackson and Jasmine came over to the apartment following the breakfast and put some time into cleaning up the place a little bit which I totally appreciate. I had told them about the trauma I had earlier in the week with the spilled apple juice and punctured Cola bottle and upturned clam chowder. I told them I tried to clean up the mess and they were really surprised when they came in and saw before looking as good as it did. They of course went over the floor again with a good broom as well as the sweeper are Swifter and now the floors look really clean.

I don't know what got into me but somewhere along the line I really got a hankering for a toasted cheese sandwich. Maybe it was because I didn't want to lose any more cheese like I did the last month and not use my cheese up fast enough. I also had a couple slices of spam left over from last week's spam chunk. I found my bag of white bread and it was still viable so I put a couple pinches of cheese on top of the pieces of bread followed by a chunk of spam and then toasted the mess up. I have to admit maybe shredded cheese is not the best form of cheese to use for making toasted cheese sandwiches but the sandwich was good enough. It kind of held it together as best as I could and finally that she's melted enough to keep the rest of it together. I tried to butter the tops as best as I could kind of made a mess that way but in the end turned out to be a nice little sandwich. Had I done it right I would have heated up one of the cans of tomato soup I have in the pantry. I have quite a few cans of tomato soup so really should be making toasted cheese a lot more than I have been. I listened excitedly to the evening local news especially the weather forecast looks like we're going to get temperatures up to nearly 70° in the next couple of days that will be great! This week I have a couple meetings in the city so it shouldn't be too bad traveling. I'm sure I'm going to be able to keep dry and be in the warm temperatures for this travel. I think cooler weather is coming in next weekend again and we're going to have some more cool wet days shouldn't last much longer though the warm days of spring are definitely here.

Saturday double feature

 Don't you hate just going to a movie in the movie so bad that you want to walk out on it? I sort of had that feeling today. It was a great day but warmer than it has been for the last couple weeks and after I went to the coffee shop this morning I figured I would take in a movie or two as long as the weather held. I only had to wear a light jacket around my neck to stay warm enough to be comfortable while traveling in my power chair. The early movies that I wanted to go to today started around 10:10 a.m. that's when they opened but the movie itself didn't start till almost 11:00 after waiting in the previews and all that kind of stuff. I did the black bag and I also did Mickey 17. I like the early movie because at least we get to a movie make you feel I've done something with my day and still have something to do when I get back home or just take it easy when I get back home and get ready for the next day. As a rule I don't give movie reviews more than just saying I liked it or I didn't like it. And I don't really intend to do that tonight either except for Mickey 17 is something really bizarre at least it is to me. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the movie and seriously if I think I can stand it I might even go again just to see if it is as weird as I think that it is- - and I think that it really is weird. I didn't really understand a lot of what was going on in the movie and I was fairly cognizant. I hope I may have read something wrong or didn't catch something when it was presented it just wasn't ready for that expected. The Black Box I definitely I'm going to have to go to again and see if I can figure out more about what it is as a movie. I think seriously it's got some potential and hopefully I'll see it if I go to it again- - keep in mind I'm on that program to where I can go to as many movies as I want to during the month. I would hate to classify both movies as losers but really I didn't come away from either movie feeling that I've been rewarded for my time and sacrifice for being at that facility.

One weird thing took me quite a while to get dressed this morning I'm not really sure why with the exception that it might be the fact that my foot box stuffing or padding has gotten loose it makes my foot our feet set the weird way inside the foot box allowing me not to sit straight up so my back won't straightened out High Enough to raise my butt to get my shorts on. This morning was a struggle but not as bad as it has been but I'm afraid it's going to get worse I don't know how soon but I feel it coming. Best case scenario it's my chair in the fact that it's so bent up and wear it out because of me that no longer supports me doing the things that I used to which was my home are dressing myself. I still can do it but it takes longer and I have to do a lot more struggling on the days that I have to dress myself I certainly Miss Lisa at that point in time

The Friday flake

I finally got out of the apartment today, it was late in the day and that's okay it's important was that I was motivated enough to get completely dressed and head out across the store for some groceries to get me through the weekend. Supposedly today is probably the better of the number of days coming up between low pressure systems and rain and sometimes snow and colder temperatures. I know you all don't need a weather report but I'm not doing enough to really write about anything else to speak of. No Sunshine just cloudy weather and that's better benefit since you know the clouds act as a blanket and keeps the heat in. I did drape a sweatshirt over my shoulders so I have the illusion of being warm as I rolled across the street. I didn't ask for a box nor did I take any boxes with me I decided I would just stick enough stuff on my lap and when it was full I would call it a day. I did okay actually when the tally was done it was like $45 which really is much anymore but still I got some fruit, lunch meat for next week even hamburger patties to fry up some juice and some eggs. I got a special for those who are keeping tally I paid five bucks for 12 eggs I think that's like 60 cents an egg. I actually stopped riding and tried to work that out but you know what it doesn't really work out I thought it'd be an easy workout. But I still think I'm right it was supposed to be a special deal on these eggs they're large and they're brown and I think they'll work just fine. Forgot a couple eggs left in my egg container now so it doesn't back up can't hurt again part of that feeling of security over the weekend to make sure I have enough to cook anything I want to even though I'll probably not cook anything at all LOL. The grapes for green grapes so they were not as firms I would have liked but there was a bit of a sale going on them as well I think they got way too many in if they don't sell any in a hurry they're going to be left with a bunch of soft gooey grapes on their hands they don't watch out. Thought about getting some cottage cheese but still have probably three quarters of a container left and at the rate that I eat cottage cheese that's probably going to be lasting me for a while though it would be nice to have her fresh tub of cottage cheese maybe this weekend if things get a little dull and there's not enough rain to keep me from dissolving should I go out. Right now I should be watching the Jazz play the Celtics but they're so far behind, the Jazz that I don't think Jazz has a chance of surviving the Boston when the last game by just two points so I guess it's doable but unless I get really surprised I think these guys are going to choke. No one else does a team do on a Friday night?

Springs misadventure

 If I was still walking around I think I would be discussed when trying to walk through my kitchen to the refrigerator. The floor would be sticky I don't even know if my feet would move. Remember yesterday I was telling you about the apple juice trick I did where I would pour juice from the big bottle into the little bottle so I could control it better. Well the thing you got to remember is that if you're going to mess around with the lids on bottles that you be sure to tighten them up strong. I of course keep my beverages in the refrigerator especially like apple juice after it's opened. I hate to lose juices because I've left them out all night and have gone bad or whatever. Anyway I don't remember if it was last night or earlier that I went to get a drink of apple juice- - since I live alone by myself I can do anything that I want so I like to take a slug of milk or juice right out of the container- - and the bottle of apple juice was nearly full meaning that the vessel was very heavy. I did not take this into consideration when I went to lift it out of its spot on the side of the refrigerator but as I did the model of apple juice slid out of my hands and straight to the floor. Under normal circumstances the bottle was just bounced and I have to retrieve it one way or the other which is not a big deal. But in this case- - and I sense this as soon as the bottle left my hand- - the led to the bottle was not on tight and as soon as the ball hit the floor it nearly exploded sending apple juice all over the floor in front of the refrigerator. I tried not to react in anger and frustration but I was frustrated Beyond doubt. Of course the bottle lid on the side and with that much juice inside just roared out of the top of the bottle. I wanted to save as much juice as I could but that would mean having to get one of my hooks underneath the bottle and pulling it up right. That of course did not happen and nearly 3/4 of the juice ran out of the bottle under the floor of the kitchen. It took me a few minutes but I finally reached the bottle with one of my Hooks and set it up right but the damage was done I was able to reach down and pull the bottle up and secure the cap on the bottle too late. Fortunately I still have half the bottle in the refrigerator that is just waiting to be bored. I grabbed a towel through it done on the floor and tried to soak up as much as possible it was a long exercise. Finally I sopped up enough fluid to make believe all as well. I could smell the apple juice on the floor and I can see where I had mopped up fluid and I can see that was still pretty sticky. It's going to be one of those jobs where I'm going to have to use hot water and some kind of a mop to go over the floor to mop up the residual juice. To make matters worse later that evening I backed into a 2 L bottle of Coke that I pilfered from the giveaway table. Somehow I made a pin leak in the bottle and it just shot pressurized Coke all over the floor by the front door and the pantry. It took me a while but I finally righted the bottle. I again use the towel trick and stopped up a bunch of Coke but there's still a lot left sticky on the floor. That would be my job tomorrow and the weekend. It's going to be a mess

Winters last day

It must be an age thing but I just cannot believe it's Wednesday again- - tomorrow is Thursday and that means it's almost time for the weekend but I just had a weekend. This is how the end of your days result and Speedy days swiftly bringing the last sunrise? I don't know but it certainly feels weird. It was cold today so I didn't go out not even once. After my person got done with me I pretty much stayed in the apartment did a couple word puzzles worked out on the arm bike and just enjoyed the solitude. Like I said however I need to be careful and not do this too much as it becomes my last stand of socialization or non-socialization. I really need to get out and do more stuff and I will as soon as the weather gets better. I know this sounds like a Monumental excuse but it's the only thing I've got going right now for a while I'm not doing more with my life. To that end, I watched the Utah Jazz play basketball tonight and surprise of a surprise they won! They won by a good margin as well by a team that beat them pretty well just a couple of weeks ago. As a rule I don't spend a lot of time acknowledging that I'm involved if any kinds of sports. I don't like to see myself as just a regular Joe- I think I'm better than that but as I've talked about in the past I've gotten sucked in to the local professional basketball team and have been watching them for the last couple years. And tonight's game was the first win in 10 games I guess and it feels like that that's for sure. So now I can't say they choked I can't say they're losers I have to support them better and more than I have been doing. I understand a little bit more though why people like things like basketball especially the Pearl season that comes at the end of summer and finishes before spring or during spring. It's sort of like that engine that gets people through the dark days of winter. In some cases three games a week that's enough to keep someone really focused on something positive as opposed to how cold it is and how wet it is and how slippery the outside is. I'm kind of shocked at how much I kind of miss this sport though I never played it hardly at all and never as far as high school sports go. I wrestled and we kind of competed against the basketball team and that was just fine with me. But now I could have seen myself as a basketball player probably not a good one but I would certainly play the game.

I made a total mess out of my kitchen today. A couple days ago there is a large bottle of Coke at the giveaway table actually there were two of them I took one and put it in my closet pantry. Then today I was doing something and not paying attention and ran into the bottle, not very hard but enough to put a hole in it somewhere and it started shooting Coke everywhere in the kitchen I tried to mop it up as best as I could but it was a hard job and I don't know how bad the floor is I'm going to have to sweep it up and mop it I guess. It's just something I wasn't ready for and exploded bottle of coat….

One more snow day

 Fortunately for me we did enough work last week at the assist meeting that we didn't have to meet this week and for once it was totally in my benefit. There was cold wind and snow blowing most of the day that truly Strange Day for winter this week in the year. I would have liked to have gone out however maybe not in the snow in the cold but get out and do something besides just hang out here at the apartment. I was busy enough, as far as that goes, I had some housekeeping items I had to attend to. I purchased large bottles of apple juice- 96 oz which is a lot of apple juice so I was able to dump what was left into one of my juice bottles that has a cap then poor a portion of what was in one of the 96 bottles of juice into a smaller vessel that will make it much more easy for me to consume. I really have done a lot of thought about making things easier for me to enjoy the items of my life. I'm always a little worried about ingested large quantities of apple juice or orange juice because it's just like drinking fat onto your body or so I think. I kind of believe I'm getting larger I'm either getting larger or my power chair is not hitting me as well as it should as far as being able to sit straight up on my chair. I don't know if the chairs just pushing me out or I've bent it Beyond recovery I just don't know but it certainly a pain in the ass. Right now I'm still having very little issues as far as transferring into my chair from the bed. It's gotten a little more difficult this last week and I don't really know why that is the case but the whole chair is driving me crazy. The front lamps and back as far as that goes have come on now won't turn itself off. Up until recently I can finagle away to turn off the lights especially in the night portion when I'm asleep but I wake up in the lights are on drives me crazy but like I said I have been able to turn them off but not anymore. Had the day been better I would have gone out and got on the bus and got up. UCAT and had one of my friends there actually go in and turn off the lamp for good basically cut the cord to the running lights. This would be hard for me I've gotten to the point where I really like the lamps especially at night. I've done something to the switch that the lamps won't turn themselves off now. This would be a real pain in the butt if I had to go to the movies this way and it lamp wouldn't turn off but at night sleeping whenever I wake up I see the red of the side lights and the white of the forward light shining on the wall I try not to pay attention but it's still like something's in the room with the lights on. I try not to let the lamps being on bother me but for some reason I do. I wake up at night the lamp is on Shining the red lights blocks against the wall. I then try to pull the pillow over my eyes so I won't see the gleam of the light and try to get back to sleep sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't…

It's Green Day

Hey, it's Green Day not the group are the song but the day Saint Patrick's Day, the day you're supposed to wear green and not red. Not read at any cost or you get the big pinch. My caregiver dressed me and nothing but green today so I'm okay not that I want any word that anybody would know enough to pinch me or whatever even if I did wear red. After the bathroom break and the shower Melissa dressed me in all green..I knew I wanted to do something today but was not sure exactly what. Last week when I was up the street to the Walmart I noticed they had these big jugs of apple juice 96 oz to a jug I thought that would be nice to have in my refrigerator. So I figured nothing else I would drive the bus or take the bus up to the corner and run through Walmart for a while to get at least the apple juice and maybe some grapes. I was proud of myself I didn't spend too much as is usually my case when I go out to socially spend. Two bottles of apple juice one potato roaster, a pound of grapes green and quite crunchy and one or two other things I can't remember what they are right now. I did something today at the market which I hardly ever do and that was to use the self-serve checkout. All of the regular checkout options were stacked up with people so I figured I would try to just check myself out and see how well I do. I must confess these places really challenge me- - the checking out stuff especially when you have stuff like a one potato or grapes that do not fit conveniently in their little pictures that they have. You have to actually interface with the software to type in the item to get the price and to add it to your stuff. Usually I can get one of the people there whose job it is to help people there's problems to assist me and basically check me out but I could tell the employees today just weren't really into it and it was going to be a challenge. Luckily, you must have been a new guy because he was really willing to help, but Jenny the employee it looks like she'd been there for some time was not going to help any more than she had to. Eventually the guy who I think might have been somewhat disabled was really willing to help me and I think he really liked doing the assistant thing. It took me awhile in a more assistance than I want to admit but I finally got through the checking out process. The large 96 oz bottles of apple juice I put on each side of my stick like a burl so they balanced each other out and the other items I just stuck or I could off my hook it worked out very well I was kind of surprised- - that's right I even got hot dog buns. Everything got home without any major issues. Nothing was crushed everything was fine. I'll see you even able to enter the bus with my wide load of apple juice bottles. I probably really need to work on doing the self-serve checkout stuff. It's essentially what being independently disabled is all about- I reckon. Weather is by designer what the self checkout lines tend to move faster than the regular checkout areas. Maybe it's because people who have tons of stuff to check out like to have somebody else do it for him and not try to check themselves out independently. Luckily I hardly ever get anything enough to worry about having too much to check out 

Morning moves and grandkids paying for breakfast

I woke this morning around 3:00 a.m. having to pee. I can't believe how long it's been that I've had to wake up to pee. I've been somewhat proud of myself for being able to sleep through the night but last night was a throwback or should I say this morning early. I'm sort of out of practice that's for sure it took me forever and I think it was 3:30 a.m. by the time I managed to drain enough urine to let me think I'm going to get back to sleep which I never really did and I'm really quite surprised that I'm functioning as well as I seem to be right now. The reason I really didn't get back to sleep was because I didn't want to sleep past my get-up time of 6:00 a.m. which I need to have in order to be ready to go meet Mark and the kids by 8:00 a.m. at the restaurant for breakfast. So I did those a little bit and even tried to set my cell phone alarm clock but that didn't go off I was afraid I couldn't trust it anyway so I slept with one eye open and you know how that goes. Once I got up I was pretty focused shaving washing the body off- - I was a little worried that I may have peed on myself a little bit when I was trying to pee in bed. If there is any urine on me it wasn't by the time I got finished giving myself a sponge bath and using the anti-liquid soap which, I think does a pretty great job. Shorts shoes and shirt and by the time I was able to get my shorts buttoned up right it was nearly time to head out for the restaurant. That's kind of proud of myself once again bringing myself into compliance with time. I do like the rigor of having to meet certain time marks Even If It's Only Make Believe it gives me some stress to work against the movie that's what we're talking about as far as having something to live for it's probably the Sunday morning breakfast ritual.

It was good to meet everybody for breakfast Jasmine and the boyfriend was already there which was cool Mark followed up shortly thereafter. I really do enjoy the kids they really take good care of me. So much so that I have to be careful and not get too complacent. Today was a good example following a fairly long breakfast of meal and good conversation it was finally time to leave and I collected the check when the person came around and I was definitely going to pay for the meal. It was only after we all went up to the cash register and that my card was denied twice that I realized I probably need to put some money in on the card! But before I could do that, Jasmine pulled out her own money and paid for the whole breakfast which is kind of embarrassing to me because I had the funding I just didn't have it stuck in the right place. Hopefully, I will not let this happen again …

 

True Believer no believer

 It's Saturday morning and you know what that means, Street from my apartment complex. The little joints at been going to the last year or so usually with a friend of mine from upstairs but she's elected not to go anymore so it's just me. I just go and sit with my coffee and just watch the other patrons. I must look pathetic but that's okay I don't really mind about that. What's important for me, especially in the sense of the last couple of posts to the blog, is the fact that I'm out of my office or out of my apartment and I'm out hanging out in associated with other folks even if I'm not really intermingling with them socially I'm still there and not here. Today I did this game that I play sometimes when I'm out sitting in a group of people by myself. I like to just sit there and listen to their conversations. Many times I remember what they said later when I'm trying to write dialogue. I know it sounds weird but it's great to hear just people talking and producing great and authentic dialogue. I think I probably spent around 90 minutes this morning at the coffee shop, sitting by myself and just plain listening. The couple I was listening to this morning I don't think that ever met before and I don't know how they met except for they kind of recognized each other when they sat down- - like they somehow recognized each other in that shocked kind of way when you meet someone for the first time but the obviously had been in contact one or the other. The guy seemed a little bit younger than the woman. He was either Hispanic or some other somewhat darker and complexion but his hair was neat and trimmed he was dressed nice. She was quite interesting relatively attractive but I really enjoyed this that she was wearing bib overalls there's something about a woman wearing bib over alls that's kind of a turn on don't know why but it is. They talked the entire time that I was there fairly automated mostly he did the talking she listened and listened very well but she also engaged off and on.

I was pleasantly surprised when a group of relatively attractive people walked in mainly women. I hadn't seen them in before and they were dressed nicer than usual but that's not a big deal. One actually stopped at my table asked my name then told me hers and then went off at the others and sat down I thought this was weird and I felt my sensors go up you know like “Shields up” but I didn't really pay much attention. About 10 minutes later however the same woman came up and asked if I had access to a computer, oddly enough I didn't pack my cell phone with me today which is kind of weird. When I asked her if she wanted me to have a computer and write this second she said no just the did I have access to one and of course I said yes. Then she produced a card and I glassed at the card first and then she started this spiel about was I happy and did I feel okay in my life and then I noticed the card that she was trying to Pawn off on me at JW in the corner and then she identify yourself as a member of the Jehovah Witnesses. It's been a long time since I've been bushwacked by J doves. I was pleasant however told her I wasn't interested and she didn't press the issue but I really thought the experience was weird especially for a Saturday morning at my coffee shop…

Turn off the flat screen

 I can't exactly recall where I heard this comment today but it struck me really hard when I heard that. I think it was on NPR somewhere but it was about males older males not doing anything just hanging out watching TV. The question was males don't have enough association with other males or other individuals to make their lives interesting enough to go out and do something. The reason that rang a Bell with me was that the last couple of weeks I've been making a comment about hanging out and watching Netflix instead of going out and doing stuff. Granted the past couple weeks the weather's been rather rotten and wet and cold keeping me from going out and doing stuff but still it started making me think was I falling into that group of individuals they were talking about and it's true I don't have a large group of individuals that I hang with. I've indicated over the years that I've been rather envious of my friend Alan Kimball and his pack of paraplegic Buddies who also have a basketball team called the wheel and Utes and I've always be raided them a little bit because all they ever did was sit around and play ball but now I realize these guys are the Smart Ones because they have something to do something to look forward to. Even if it's playing ball and games once a week then going out and drinking afterwards. It may not be my most coveted ideal but at least they've got something to hang on to and something to keep them away from the front of the TV screen. I hope what's the weather clears up I will be out there doing more and enjoying the bus system in the weather as much as I can. I don't want to feel like I have to feel guilty now every time I watch my flat screen whether it's a movie or whether it's the Jazz basketball game. Again I have been getting into watching movies and some of them the same movies over and over again and I don't know if I do that as a time user upper or what. However I do recognize that the amount of time that I spend in front of a flat screen robs me of things I could be doing that I should be doing even if it's reading. I don't know if reading is any worse than wasting time in front of a flat screen but it seems like I'm doing something semi physical when I'm reading a book. Hopefully my Regiment of working out on my arm bike for 200 minutes a week and my weekly the semi weekly meeting with the assist ink people also count as me doing something and keeping me focused and primed. The ideal solution of course would be employment or a job of some sort or maybe more volunteer stuff I don't know anyway someplace where I have to be away from my apartment and out on the system somewhere during the day or the week. I don't know how many things a person has to be involved in before they are not in this mail only lonely syndrome but I certainly do recognize it and I think I need to start combating it more...

Thoroughly Thursday

 It's literally almost 9:00 p.m. and I swear I'm falling asleep in my chair so if I don't get the 500 Words give me. Today hasn't been that busy I got up around 6:30 a.m. which is kind of late but since I didn't have anywhere to go today except for the 9:30 coffee I figured I would just sort of take it easy, which I did! The day was cold windy and rainy as a cold front pushes through it was best just lay low and enjoy coffee and hang out in front of the TV all day.

I think the most productive thing I did all day was 60 Minutes on my armbike. I thought that I would almost die trying to get through the hour. I stuck to it however and got my 60 Minutes done. So now I'm sitting on about 180 minutes which means just 20 minutes to go before Sunday to get my 200 minutes. Perhaps the most fulfilling thing I did today was finally check the mail. I check the mail about twice a week if that much. Today I was pleased to see I had a letter from Brisa my granddaughter. It was a great letter I thought I would really just one pager written in long hand but really well done. The document came with a hand drawn image that would be just perfect for it the refrigerator. I'm not totally sure that's where I want the drawing to go but it'll be a good place to start- - with magnets of course. As I said today was coffee social and I have to confess I was quite startled yesterday afternoon or evening when I realized that today was coffee social which means it's Thursday which means it's the end of another week! I have to accept that the time is going by running quickly but week to week I'm totally amazed at how compressed things seem to be getting. If I didn't have my semi weekly meeting at assist I can't imagine how much more quickly the days would go. I just have to keep living up to the motto of cramming up as much in a day as I can. It'll be a lot easier to do once the temperature warms up a bit. The calling for snow tonight here in Salt Lake. Snow coming down to the valley floor I know it won't be much but it's going to be cold tomorrow. Right now I don't have anything planned it's just another Friday. If by some chance I do decide to go out I might consider a movie there are a couple I'm interested in currently. I don't think I would mind getting wet going to the movie but following the movie if the rain / snow was significant I would not want to wait around in the cold any longer than I had to. Right now I doubt seriously I'm going anywhere tomorrow, but if I did it would be to the movies…

Coffee Talk

 I had coffee with my good friend Lori this afternoon and again I went off on the tangent about my unnatural intolerance of artificial intelligence or AI. I don't know how healthy that I Prejudice is towards this seemingly innocuous if not innocent piece of programming but I certainly feel something in the negative area. Sometimes in weak moments I play with the idea of writing something and I don't think I can use the word writing specifically and be accurate with the assistance of artificial intelligence. It seems so wrong. It just seems like whatever I produce if I used AI at all wouldn't be something that I did as much as something we? Did which totally is wrong. Am I being too puritanical as far as writing goes? I wonder if it would make a difference- - I just don't know I can't even finish that thought because it all comes down to at some point in time I'll let go of my own creativity and leaned on some artificial level of creativity. I understand that I still have a long ways to go before I figure out what the answer to this question is. I wonder if I need to make samples of AI assisted and non-assisted writing. Boy that sounds like a lot of work even if I want to be writing to go through that much trouble to be pure of AI. What would be an interesting thought but what if artificial intelligence started stealing my thoughts.? That would be hard to prove at least at the very least. But what if you had a thought artificial saw that you had a thought and did developed into its own piece of writing. Then what if that writing became published somehow? How far could you take a thought like that? Rather than wrestle with all those huge questions I would just assume try to write on my own. I know this probably makes me a big doofus or maybe I'm just lazy not having to have to sift everything through an artificial intelligence sifter to separate the Rams from the ewes.

The Specter of John Boston was again brought up in our conversation. You remember John Boston that tough character I was writing about 20 or 30 years ago when I first got to Salt Lake. I don't know him anymore I don't know what he's like now I'm afraid he's somewhat burdened with age and no longer has the fight that he once had. I don't know if he really ever used it I don't know if John ever really did use the Wiley skill of the agitator to bring about change to whatever issue he thought needed changed. And like so many other cultural Heroes was basically beaten down by the common person who really didn't want to shake the banana tree for the higher fruit. But every once in awhile I get a sneaky itch to find out what happened to him. I don't know if I could actually pull it off if I did such a search and what I find at the end of that search? Just another character who desperately wanted to make a difference but was chewed up by public pathos…

 had coffee with my good friend Lori this afternoon and again I went off on the tangent about my unnatural intolerance of artificial intelligence or AI. I don't know how healthy that I Prejudice is towards this seemingly innocuous if not innocent piece of programming but I certainly feel something in the negative area. Sometimes in weak moments I play with the idea of writing something and I don't think I can use the word writing specifically and be accurate with the assistance of artificial intelligence. It seems so wrong. It just seems like whatever I produce if I used AI at all wouldn't be something that I did as much as something we? Did which totally is wrong. Am I being too puritanical as far as writing goes? I wonder if it would make a difference- - I just don't know I can't even finish that thought because it all comes down to at some point in time I'll let go of my own creativity and leaned on some artificial level of creativity. I understand that I still have a long ways to go before I figure out what the answer to this question is. I wonder if I need to make samples of AI assisted and non-assisted writing. Boy that sounds like a lot of work even if I want to be writing to go through that much trouble to be pure of AI. What would be an interesting thought but what if artificial intelligence started stealing my thoughts.? That would be hard to prove at least at the very least. But what if you had a thought artificial saw that you had a thought and did developed into its own piece of writing. Then what if that writing became published somehow? How far could you take a thought like that? Rather than wrestle with all those huge questions I would just assume try to write on my own. I know this probably makes me a big doofus or maybe I'm just lazy not having to have to sift everything through an artificial intelligence sifter to separate the Rams from the ewes.

The Specter of John Boston was again brought up in our conversation. You remember John Boston that tough character I was writing about 20 or 30 years ago when I first got to Salt Lake. I don't know him anymore I don't know what he's like now I'm afraid he's somewhat burdened with age and no longer has the fight that he once had. I don't know if he really ever used it I don't know if John ever really did use the Wiley skill of the agitator to bring about change to whatever issue he thought needed changed. And like so many other cultural Heroes was basically beaten down by the common person who really didn't want to shake the banana tree for the higher fruit. But every once in awhile I get a sneaky itch to find out what happened to him. I don't know if I could actually pull it off if I did such a search and what I find at the end of that search? Just another character who desperately wanted to make a difference but was chewed up by public pathos…

Exhaustion

I'm exhausted. It's been a very long day. I start my day at 6:00 a.m. I want to make sure I was up and working on getting dressed I had to leave the apartment around 9:30 in order to catch the bus to catch the train to get down to our meeting in Salt Lake at 11:00 a.m.. it's my regular assist meeting still I didn't want to miss it and I didn't want to be late  — and I wasn't. In fact I was early having to kill time at the library which is always a fun thing to do. I just wish I had time to read all the new books they have displayed. But I don't but still it would be nice the title looks so interesting. The meeting was uneventful except for the fact that I was the only one that showed up. Robin was sick and the other person just didn't show up she gave her excuses she always has excuses. I signed a lot of documents got everything shipped shape. I expected the day to be a lot nicer than it was. It wasn't a bad day I was sunshiny more or less high clouds filtering the Sun it could have been warmer. I took a wrap with me in case I needed it. Kind of got in my way but not too bad. I didn't stop anywhere coming home I wanted to get home as early as I could because Gloria was supposed to come in around 2:00 to clean up the place. Of course I got there home around noon so I made a great lunch and waited and of course one thing got in the course of another Gloria was late late finally getting to the apartments around 4:30 or 5ish. I didn't work out because I wasn't sure when she was going to be here I didn't want to be working out while she was here so I didn't work out today and I'm just tired. We did get a couple rooms cleaned up mainly it was Gloria of course. She did clean out the kitchen which I appreciate it and she swept up before she left she is pretty rattled though hope she gets by okay. I sure appreciate the cleaning of the apartments but I do also appreciate it when they leave and once again silence Falls over the joint. I made myself burritos for dinner opened up a can of whole jalapenos and watch the old movie which is relatively entertaining an early Adam Sandler and Jennifer somebody you would know her. I think I made a decision I'm going to get rid of almost all of my plastic stuff that's stuffed in my cupboards underneath the sink and everywhere else I just have too much garbage a lot of the plastic containers are only containers with no lids and they just get in the way. Every once in a while I use one for this reason or that reason but bottom line most of them are useless or I'll never use them again. So I think the next time Gloria comes over we're going to go through and get rid of as much plastic containers as I can. I might even think about getting rid of all of them and just starting out with brand new matching containers with lids. Tomorrow I just have coffee with one of my old writing Buddies that should be about it. The weather supposed to hold storms coming in on Thursday- - did I say I'm exhausted

A cut below

 I may have overdone it. The day looks so beautiful out my window this morning that I thought I would jump the bus go up to 5400 South and find a barber. My hair was getting so long it was driving me crazy and the only thing on my agenda today was to get the hairs cut. I figured I had found a fairly nominal priced professional if I went to one of the super cuts place. Had never noticed before that there were a couple of them up there in that area. I wish I had taken a jacket with me or the Hood I gently wear around my shoulders which gives me enough protection from the cold and usually isn't too bulky and getting in my way. But I didn't I just figured it would get warmer as I was out and about- - it really didn't actually. I did find the Supercuts and got the haircut. They took me right in and I had this Barber lady named Kat who was very nice we talked a lot and in the end I was charged something like 20 bucks for the haircut which is my own fault because I didn't ask first. I guess there is a Supercuts type place that charges 14 but I didn't know that and maybe I'll do that next time or maybe I'll just spring for a set of Clippers and have Melissa my care provider to cut my hair. Then there's also a friend of mine upstairs who was a barber still has all her paperwork. She intimated that she would consider cutting my hair if I were to get my clippers. Having my own Clippers is the way to go. If I got one of those plastic things that hooks over the end of them I could probably do it myself if I had to. I think I would really look pathetic if I did that which would be all the more reason to consider the option.

By the time I finished with my haircut I was time for lunch and I was excited about going out to McDonald's it's been a while now it's due for a cheeseburger. I don't know what happened this time but I know that I ordered a cheeseburger with extra onions extra pickles extra mustard and extra ketchup what I got was a hamburger with just a little bit of ketchup and a little bit of mustard! I should have taken it back immediately but I decided I would just eat it. Actually what I got was some kind of a meal deal which was the burger fries and a drink for five bucks. That's what I went for the potatoes and the drink was okay gave me enough carbos to get through the day it was just weird that I didn't take the hamburger back at least have them put the extras on there that they didn't the first time but I just sat there and ate them and was thankful for a hamburger even if it was just wider than I would have liked….

Time switch

 The switch over to Daylight Savings Time was very early this morning but I changed my clocks best I could last night and then the ones that are hooked to the internet of course were changed automatically by internet Central or wherever the timekeeper lives. I was a little worried I would not be able to get up in time in order to be dressed and get out to meet Mark at breakfast but that was not an issue. I was awake by 5:00 a.m. it's still your bedtime 6:00 a.m. get it up and getting dressed by the time to get to the restaurant. Mark did email me or message me indicated that he'd be 10 minutes or so late. It worked out fine. I think we had a great breakfast even though it was a bit sparse as far as other people went I think the time change messed up a lot of folks. I don't see how but that's the only thing I can think of. Other than breakfast however I didn't really do much else during the day. Thought about going and hanging out because it was a beautiful day clear sky sun shining kind of warmish but not warm enough to stay out and hang out in. I suppose had I really wanted to go somewhere I would have gone and done it but just wasn't worth it for us little warm as the afternoon was though it looked beautiful and it was kind of. I just hope this mild weather will continue for the next 2 or 3 days at least until I finished my sojourn into assist inc on Tuesday to volunteer. After that I don't really care what happens the rest of the week I don't think I have anything else planned. I have one goal for the coming week that is to find somewhere I can get my haircut relatively inexpensive. I think I talked about the place I went to yesterday across the street and they were 35 bucks for a haircut which is astronomical if you ask me just for cutting somebody's hair. I'm going to try to find a Supercut or something like that and then go to that place. I think I'm almost totally passed my illness point and that I can get back into normal life again. So if I have to do some traveling around to get to this Supercut joint I should be able to do so without much issue. I'm really feeling gruffy lately with the hair really shagging around my ears.

The Jazz played ball again tonight. It's kind of a treat for Sunday night except for of course the team choked once more. The team they played really didn't have much better score as far as games won versus games lost I was kind of hoping the Jazz will pick up another win tonight. In fact they started out by developing like a 16-point lead over the team they played I think it was the Wizards. But of course by the fourth quarter the Wizards were ahead probably be five six points That's All She Wrote. I'm setting off for now it's time for bed I got to get ready for a whole new week stay tuned…

Saturday evening post

 The effects of the recent fever and cold that I've been experiencing continue. I feel weak and I still am somewhat symptomatic. I have a runny nose and a bit of a cough but the wheeze is way gone and I can sleep a lot better thank goodness. With that in mind I was really hoping that today I would be able to get out and do a little rolling around maybe you run to the market. I did however first off after getting dressed and I meager breakfast I trooped across the street to the coffee shop and got a large coffee and hung out there for a few minutes before returning home. I really wish I could have been more productive but I essentially caved in and watched a movie picked up a little bit but not very much then spent the afternoon watching movies as well. It's pretty much a Netflix day. I also caved in and use the order by phone thing from the market I got four bottles of vegetable juice which had told me pretty well for a couple of days. I'm almost out of the apple juice that I opened yesterday and I should be out but I haven't been drinking like I should. The charge for the home shopping option today was not too bad I believe I have no problem absorbing a couple bucks that was the cost for the shopping Plus I gave the smallest tip I was able to which was a dollar on the internet page that the app lives on. I keep saying I'm not going to overuse this system and so far I think I've been able to be okay but it's certainly a slippery slope especially when you need something from the market. In fact for dinner I really caved in. I've got supplies to make a really good dinner if I wanted to but I just didn't have the energy or the well and open the can of Dinty Moore Stew which I counted entirely as my dinner. I know I've got a whole box of Saltines around here somewhere but could not find that when I needed them for the stew so I just used most left of a stack of Ritz crackers which went well with the stew. The last couple days I've been haunted by an internet commercial for someone says they will clean my apartment for $19 or something like that, something ridiculously low, which I know is a come on and I should stay away from it but now I've been swayed so much that I'm almost willing to give them a call and maybe I will on Monday just to have them come out and see what they'll do for $19 who knows babysit something up. My girl Gloria just as having a hard time getting enough time in her life to come over and clean up a little bit. I figure if that's cleaning outfit could do one room for $19 or whatever they do it would be money well spent and maybe keep me going until Glory gets back or until I can get back into the regular day today upkeep. Even even at my best I don't do a really great job but if something's clean I can usually maintain of the level of cleanliness for a while. And in the long run what's better spend your money on? For example today on the way to the coffee shop I stopped at this little barbershop that's opened up on the same block as my coffee shop. I stopped in there before I know last summer and nothing went that I thought well maybe again this time it'll be more economical but when I inquired of the price of a haircut the guy told me 35 bucks unfortunately. I suppose I could do it but I just can't justify $35 for as much hair as I've got. I may have to return to the salon by the market where I shop who cut my hair last for $20! I really thought that was high. I could do the $20 again, I don't want to but until I can get a better offer I may have to..

Feeling like Friday

 My night wheezing is just about gone and it is gone and respect that whatever is there is no longer keeping me awake like it was doing last week but now something else is going on I'm not sure what but I've been waking up around 2:00 a.m. to 3:00 a.m. last couple nights and I've been able to get back to sleep I haven't felt that perky the next day. I'm glad that I have basically healed from my respiratory issues that I was having but now I'm having problems sleeping I don't believe they're related but who knows anymore. I really haven't done much today just trying to keep myself unstressed and trying to keep what the progress I've made on recuperating. However I did spend 40 minutes on my arm bike tonight just so that I can get back into the swing of things and hopefully that the physical regimen that I'm working out will also assist me in Greater potential and sleep cycles. Of course when I don't do anything physical or anything else I then end up defaulting to the flat screen and watching Marvel comic heroes and sometimes I'll binge and the favorite parts of Marvel movies. This is really quite the Civilized way to go. I feel it gives me the illusion of control. I also got back onto my arm bike and crank the crank for 40 minutes this is the longest time I've been on the arm bike since I had become ill. It's not going to be any 200 minutes for this week but I might come in with $140 or 150 something like that that's if I elect to pump the bike tomorrow before Sunday.

My basketball team, the Utah jazz, had an early game tonight starting about 6:00 p.m.. really didn't matter the result was the same my good old team to Jazz lost. They're on the road I'm sure that doesn't help at all and I really think these boys are getting really tired. They really gave away a lot of shots tonight that could have made the difference in the end. Also disgusted with the game they were playing that I even turned it off just as the fourth quarter was beginning to get going. I cannot believe how many games this team is lost this year. I can't imagine what these guys feel being one of the last place teams in their respective League. I doubt that they go home and cry anything like that or maybe they just go home and watch TV. Maybe you don't even care, really. This is their job and this is what they do they do the best that they can. But it must weigh on there soul to keep losing on National Television at least it would me. I'm going to try to be a fairly dedicated jazz fan and keep watching as much of their basketball playing as I can tolerate. At least on the early games it doesn't back everything up on my night to the point where I'm going to bed very late. I don't know how bad they would have to get before I stopped caring for them entirely. I'm sure there's a magic number out there but I haven't got there yet…

Spilled juice

 I had another poor night. I slept okay more or less woke up around 3:00 a.m. and thought I was awake for quite a while but eventually woke up again almost at 6:00 so somewhere along the line I dozed off and went back to sleep which is good. I've gotten through the day okay no problems take my respiratory is getting better now. At this point in time this very minute I don't feel any rails but I'm not wheezing hopefully tonight I will sleep somewhat better. Last night I had General wheezing and took me quite a while to get to sleep over the wheezing but I did. I don't know if it's natural or one of those old guy things now that I talk about somatic problems and the ability to sleep or not sleep. I'm not going to apologize obviously sleep is important to me very important to me. It's just the way things are. I was well enough to go to coffee this morning I coughed a little bit as I tried to talk and visit with other folks there but I didn't do a lot of talking today but I did drink coffee and mingled I take this as a sure sign that I'm getting better. Perhaps my best accomplishment for the day was getting back on the arm bike and peddled for an hour, 60 minutes. Usually by this time of the week I'm done with my 200 minutes but as of today I'm only at about 100 minutes. If I'm lucky and tomorrow I do another 60 minutes I can still bring the whole thing off on Saturday by doing only 40 minutes to get my 200 minutes in for the week and I think that would make me feel quite a bit better on all levels. I think I have missed the tiring aspect that the physical regimen provides for me particularly in my ability to sleep through the evenings.

One of the goals I have for this year is to increase the amount of liquid intake I need to be more hydrated this coming year. I was doing that with orange juice but that not only is expensive financially it's also quite expensive caloric wise. A lot of sugar in natural orange juice so I've sort of backed away from the orange juice and I did get a couple bottles of vegetable juice which isn't too bad I really enjoy vegetable juice. Yesterday I opened a brand new bottle of vegetable juice and transformed it into my orange juice bottle that I keep around it's easier for me to handle as far as drinking straight from the bottle which I do a couple times during the day. I put the wrong lid on the bottle after I filled up the orange juice container and of course as I tried to move my chair around the opening of the refrigerator door the juice slipped off my lap Hit the Floor the top popped open and then I had juice 3/4 of the bottle all over the floor in the kitchen. Took me quite a while to clean up the mess I was surprised I was able to soak everything up in one towel. Now trouble is I only had about 1/8 of a bottle left and that wouldn't take me long at all. I do know I have a bottle of apple juice somewhere around my can collection had even though it's cheap apple juice which tastes good but has a lot of sugar I can use the drink until I can get a couple bottles of vegetable juice for the following weekend. The weather's fairly active right now with cooler temperatures making it challenging for me to be out in it especially after being an L for a while. Hopefully towards the end of the week I might get a little break and run over to the market for some other kinds of juice. I could do well with water but water just so Paseo have a hard time ingesting water on any kind of level. Anyway, I'm getting by and sometimes that's all one can do..

Whistlin Mark Smith

 I almost forgot about today's meeting. I actually read the email reminding everybody about today's meeting but what I misread was that it was sent yesterday and I thought it was sent today talking about a meeting tomorrow. Luckily I went back and actually checked the dates and found out for sure it was today. I seriously for a while actually thought about going in person because it's in the building just straight down the street from where I live about 40 blocks or maybe 50, but I realized that I just really couldn't do it. I felt miserable still and knew that I would be copied my head off by the time I got there on public transit and through the meeting and nobody would appreciate it really so I took the zoom cop out. It's really kind of easy to get addicted to zooming into meetings being there but not being there at the same time kind of existential kind of Zen. I had ordered a lunch earlier in the month when they are asking for people to let them know if you would be in person so they could order enough lunch boxes I said I would be there but then I got sick. I kind of felt bad but after all it's just a sandwich and whatever Delta's in the Box usually from Zupas. Usually a good lunch just don't like the old days when there's an actual hot lunch catered those were great. I miss the good old days. Anyway about quarter after 12:00 12:20 I started trying to get into the meeting it's always a challenge for me. I'm always amazed when the whole thing works. I click buttons here and there I'm not really knowing what I'm doing and like I said always amazed when all the sudden people start asking if I can hear them. I was greeted by a question when I finally got my zoom identification taken care of and all that kind of stuff they wanted to know why my email name was Meadowlark mark. I was pleased to relate the story, I think I have it written here in the blog somewhere thousands of pages back, but my good friend Al named to me Meadowlark mark because I whistled everywhere I went. I really like the Acoustics of the building we worked in. From then on I've liked the name and it felt natural when it came time to doing a email name. The rest as they say is history.

Somewhere along the line I'm not sure if it was the late '60s somewhere in the 70s I heard a a song: I was Kaiser Bill's Batman. This song is by whistling Jack Smith in the song stuck with me so much that I seem to whistle at every chance I got everywhere I went anytime I got a chance. I'd like to think I'm a great Whistler but I'm no Jack Smith. I Whistle for my own pleasure everyone should. If you ever get a chance search I was Kaiser Bill's Batman, on the internet and play one of the videos you'll be pleased that you did

Stir fry Tuesday

  I must be getting better. I basically exploded the Kitchen Tonight by making a big batch of Frank AKA chicken stir fry and rice. I used the last part from the chicken I got a couple weeks ago from the deli next door from the market. I really haven't felt that well today but it was important that I get back into the swing of things and I think this has been really good for me in achieving that kind of recuperation. My night wheezing / rails have gotten somewhat better allowing me to sleep for the most part through the night. I have been working on trying to stay better hydrated and I've been doing the tea and honey trip as well. I've been doing herbal teas and adding nice squeezes of honey which makes a very nice drink when supposedly helps with the coughing and such. Nothing else that certainly can't increases my urine production. I've decided to stop invested in the gigantic bottles of orange juiceFor the reason of price as well asThe amount of calories that orange juice contains. If nothing else just start drinking straight water as much as that's difficult for me to do. Maybe indulge in some vegetable juice here and there which is not nearly as expensive as the orange juice.

The Assault on the kitchen took place starting earlier this afternoon when I cooked a pot of rice that I wanted to use in making my favorite go-to meal Frank. I have a piece of chicken or had a piece of chicken in the refrigerator from the chicken I got from the market a couple weeks ago from the deli just enough to using the rice dish. I had a bag of baby carrots and I thought that I had an onion but when I went to start preparing the union I found out that it was way gone down the road of spoilage. I pulled myself together through something around my neck and burst out the door of the complex to cross the street to this little bitty market for Indians from India. It's really a cute little place but they have a little produce always have onions of course. I got a couple of nice red onions and some ginger. I assumed back home and began processing the vegetables and celery I got a couple days ago the onions or chopped and minced making a major mess on the kitchen cupboard table countertop. Working on the dish certainly made me feel better I don't know why maybe it's just taking control back from my illness controlling my life again. I think I've been giving more control over the sickness then I knew. I was pretty responsible washing a lot of the pots as I finish using them. I still have plenty of dishes to wash but it got rid of a lot of the big pots and pans which is a good start. I did the same with the vegetables that I processed onions and the garlic and the skins from those particular vegetables so at least kicking around. I finally got the rice done let it sit aside and cool down then finally found a a bowl with a cover to put the rice in and threw it in the refrigerator to eat on for the rest of the week. It turned out okay it was worth the effort even though it was a late start and I was pretty weak trying to process the vegetables. My body's tired and I'm still wheezing off and on bringing up crowded whatever's left over from the disease process. I wish I was totally well again but hopefully that will come I'm just happy to sleep through the night and hope to continue doing so for the next however long I can. I don't know if I'll wash anymore dishes tonight maybe just put the coffee together for tomorrow morning and my home health person and hopefully the apartment was still smell of cooking…

A Deep malaise Monday

I actually turned the ball game off at the beginning of the third quarter when they continue to lose ground on the basketball court Jazz lost another one tonight and it's getting a little bit difficult to watch them. I really do appreciate the occasional in however and that happened last week so I think I'm becoming more finicky however that when I see them digging into a hole 20 points deep by the second half there's no way they're going to recover or it's very rare. They were beat last night as well I could only imagine they must be exhausted after playing so many games this last couple weeks. It's kind of sad cuz I sort of looking forward to the game a good part of the day. I continue to live with this cold I sense it's getting somewhat better I'm still freezing a lot at night. I think my sleep was impact and significantly last night but I made it through the day trying to drink more fluids and be more responsible but that's difficult on a bunch of levels. Hopefully my cleaning person or caregiver who comes over to do pleading every once in a while will show up tomorrow. She's kind of canceled the last three scheduled meetings which was okay cuz I was not ready for her to be working around me while I was ill. I don't think I'm contagious at this point it's been some time I'm definitely on the heel. But maybe she will bring my spirits up a little bit with the cleaner apartment at least a clean table. I've been working on trying to clean the table top for some time but just can't get around to it like she doqes. I've pretty much accepted the reality that I just can't really clean not like other people and not even because I'm in a wheelchair which I can certainly use for a justification truth is I just have a problem cleaning. I make all kinds of excuses like if I were taller or if I are able bodied or if, or F just a lot of excuses. I just have a problem cleaning.

The most productive thing I did today was to finish the kid letter mail out. I really had to force myself between coughs to sign the letters fold them and put them in the envelopes then stamp them. Eventually got that part done stuff $10 bills and two of the envelopes with hopes that they will get through this time and not be swiped by the Postal Service whoever. I got the stamps on got them sealed and then drove my chair all the way up front and put them in the mail drop. I usually like to get the mail out before this time of the month but it just didn't work for this month. I will blame the shortness of the month. February is always a good excuse.1 my power chair continued to do weird things not so weird that I actually have enough momentum to call and schedule an appointment but just little things like listing to one side which I know that I push myself to the one side probably more than I should particularly been dressing but still I'm waiting for that side to just wear out and drop off or something one of these first days the other parts seem to be working fairly well except for I just have a hard time sitting in the chair and sitting up some sort of just sitting up straight as opposed to being feeling like I'm being pushed forward. Hopefully this isn't going to happen soon or I should get it done soon as possible just so those problems don't for real me and keep me from going forward… 

Honey with my tea

It wasn't perfect but it was pretty damn good the posting I had for tonight and then somehow my silly fingers hit the wrong buttons at the wrong time or the right time and the whole thing evaporated when I went to put it into the software I use to post things too my internet account. So anyway I'm trying to try to rewrite the thing but it will not be as good as the first one was it nevevaporateder is. Anyway I am crying, about how difficult I had the time sleeping last night because I had chest rails so bad it kept me awake most the night at least I thought that it did. I kept wheezing and trying to alleviate the groaning going on inside my chest. But I've been awake all day and I've done pretty well all things considered. In fact I spent a great deal of the day working on the kid letters and then printing the envelopes and trying to get them ready for posting. I actually had to contact my daughter to find out the address because I accidentally defaulted to their last address which may have been part of the reason the kids didn't get their letters this month. Is that just a major senior thing to do? It's hard to say. Anyway, that's all he was saying I coughed all night long and felt still very kind of puky when I canceled the breakfast with the kids as we usually go out every Sunday morning. But today is warm very warm like 66° or something like that it was really big to me to come out and do something. As much as I dislike going to the market on the Sabbath I settled up and used the good weather and took my chair and myself over to the market because I wasn't sure what the following days are going to be like the weather person says a cold front's coming in and it'll press the temperatures down 20° which will make it very uncomfortable to go out. Luckily this week I do not have an assist meeting so I don't really have to go downtown I have one meeting I should go to but I can actually zoom into that and I'm sure to keep me from having to go out in the cold that was what they would want me to do except I will certainly miss the lunch. These people usually furnish a fairly decent lunch it's usually just a sandwich you know chips sandwich and a cookie of some sort Sometimes some sort of salad offering as well but not like the old days but it's still a free meal to a certain degree. I will most likely opt for zooming into the meeting unless I get terribly well by Wednesday or Thursday when the meeting's supposed to be. I picked up a couple sticks of celery I had a couple other items. I'm planning on making Frank this week so I'll have food to go through the whole week but I need to have celery at least and a burrow who will work with me. I have the rice so if I put together a big bowl of Frank that should get me through the rest of the week. Remember I still have the chicken breast from the fried chicken I got from the deli last week as well.

Maddening March 2023

Red Cap

 It feels like I've been suffering with this ailment that I've got myself into for an eternity and really it's only been since late Tuesday or early Wednesday morning. Tuesday I went to assist and it was feeling fairly decent then actually I didn't really have any symptoms of symptom free just later in the day I began to spiral down and now I'm here so it really hasn't been that long I just seems forever. I have spent all day in the apartment pretty much trying to heal up as much as I can. Cleaned up a little bit of the apartment but it really needs some major intervention. My person who was going to come in today and do a little work I think got frightened by my illness and has rescheduled to Tuesday afternoon. I'll try to pick up and sweep up a little bit by then and possibly some assistance for Melissa on Monday but make the job go somewhat quicker. I certainly hope I'm feeling better by then I'm supposed to go to a number of meetings starting in March next week but I may just have to zoom into the meetings and not go in person which is a shame because the one meeting always serves a great lunch. But might also rain and snow on those days next week.

It's March now however and I'm excited I really believe we've been through the worst part of the winter and now we'll begin to feel the signs of spring particularly next week when we start daylight savings time maybe it's the week after but it's soon. This should really stretch the hours of daylight and then Park redo across the the street from my bedroom window will be full bore pre-adolescent adolescent males doing their skateboard moves over the fall in the winter the park has I think double the size of the skateboard Pavilion in fact they're still working on it but they have the major skateboard runs completed and you can't keep the kids off of that. I don't even know or want to think what summer will bring when the heat is added to hardcore skateboarding in the Darkness of late night Tom Foolery in the city park. They're supposed to close the part doors at 10:00 p.m. with lights out but I'll be surprised if that happens. In the old park I heard them skating way into the wee hours of the morning even in Pitch Darkness I can hear the wheels turning and the who she know the body is going up and down up and down on the concrete slopes next door. I don't be Grudge with the kids I guess I would be doing the same thing had there been something like that available in my early days. That's of course if I hadn't broken my neck but the skateboards may have done the trick as well as the motorcycle did. This evening while trying to clean up the kitchen a little, the table has really taken a toll I'm trying to unload the table, I started a Marvel movie just to make sure there was some white noise in the background to keep me company. I've seen the movie I'm sure it doesn't times and I can almost quote major pieces of the movie but I've still got halfway to go through it and maybe do some more cleaning up along the way or at least picking up have a lot of sticks on the floor but I talked about that already. It's been a quiet quiet day almost warm but stay below the 60 level so when I took the garbage out a little while ago as well as some other broken up things around the apartment it was still chilly I had to wear a red hat to make sure

February Fade Out

 And so ends another perfectly good month and I'm suffering here in my bedroom trying to get over the cold I somehow picked up somewhere last week. First I thought it might have been allergies and well, you the constant reader, knows how that all went and how yesterday I went to try to find medical intervention for this and that didn't work either. So today I'm home trying to be good and not get too caught up in saving myself. In fact I just ordered another phone order of groceries that will have four cans of chicken noodle soup it's grapefruit and an oranger too. It all adds up pretty fast. I figured I can count it all under medicinal supports for my current dilemma. I even threw some potato chips in there to make sure that I had salt in my diet since I'm trying to increase the liquid intake to my system. Case in point I even ordered another 89 oz of orange juice! And I should not be doing it because there are so many calories in orange juice but I think the vitamin C in the fact that it's liquid far outweigh the issues of weight gain and diabetes LOL. That coughed my brains out again last night I didn't think it was as bad as the night before and I think I kind of slept better but I sure woke up a lot it seemed like like almost every hour I remember looking at the clock. Actually what if I was really asleep and dreaming that I was looking at the clock I love the clock dream paradox- - I just made that up that's what I believe. I'm doing okay today I feel the little groggy but more groggy and sit from coughing than anything else. Melissa found a bottle of night time cough medicine behind my window shades and I have a bottle for daytime coffee but I haven't taken any yet. It seems like it's kind of productive cuz don't you want to hack out all that scrub and credit on your lungs and when pipe that's results of the fever you may have had and whatever the sickness that you may have had. That stuff is just hanging around and you got to cough it out sooner or later don't you? I don't know I wish I did. Because I always invest in the cough medicine but if you take it and you don't cough are you defeating the whole purpose? We'll see. I'm supposed to have a meeting with one of my friends today at coffee shop that didn't go and tomorrow I canceled my coffee meeting with another friend that I usually have Saturday morning coffee. I cannot wait to get back into my groove as soon as this whatever it is passes.

Oh, so ends another perfectly good month, a short month I'll Grant you if it's another month, rents are due with the host of other items that need to be paid for, kid letters have to go out with the money, so far I can cover everything but if the commander-in-chief or what I like to say the Commander in grief wants to start chopping my support Monies then I'm in a world of hurt as all of you with disabilities living off the same Federal money. That includes you seniors out there disabled or not you know what I mean you know who you are. I think it's going to be a great month looking forward to March and to the spring there in…