Hey, Am Just Working Things Out!

I just love rattling on about my family because my family is so weird. I have been thinking about my family a lot for the past couple of years. I think it was at a family reunion three or four years ago that I realized that my brother and myself were really the only real adopted kids in my immediate family. I used to go on and on about everyone in the family was adopted one way or the other; about how my mom and dad blended their families together and adopted each others kids when they married(4) and then adopted the rest of us (6). The at the reunion I noted that a couple of the cousins at the reunion were actually mothers of my four younger sibs. I knew this on a basic level all along but never really thought it threw to it reunionistic level. This blew me away and still does as I sort through the whole end of life experience of my mom.

So my family is actually three families( four if one counts my oldest brother).

First {First Family Oldest bro( My moms only natural child)

Second Family{ Oldest sister, Next oldest sister then second oldest brother( all natural siblings)

Third Family {My older brother and me

Fourth Family{Two younger brothers an two younger sisters who are actually cousins to the second family= 7 kids = Family Prime.

I wonder if, because my mom and dad, are the only mom and dad by older brother Ross and I have ever known, is the reason I seem to be so wierded out on this whole end of life thing. The four younger kids all grew up with the family but also were aware of the cousins who were also their natural mothers as will as the sibs in those families. I have to admit to a little envy as I saw all these relationships playing out. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like we ( my brother and I, family number 3) from any events…except when I almost missed my dads funeral because everyone thought someone else had called me. I think we all really do love each other and we do enjoy being round each other and we genuinely see us all as family.( I am not even going to try to go into the Mormon concept of Sealing this would really alter the discussion) . I know I am perseverating on this issue with my mom. I don’t know what else to do. I guess perseverating is the only way through for me. This cannot be any worse then the stupid baseball playoffs. Suffice it to say I love them and you all very much as much as a brother can. The same love I have for my mother. I worry about Mom and her current predicament and wish there was more I could do. Maybe I would not feel so obligated if I did not live in the next county. But I do and I guess that I am and will just have to work things out. One way or the other.