Giant Stick In The Eye

What a giant, stick in the eye, weird day! Mind you I had a weird night, did not get much sleep but I was getting back to my schedule of going to bed shortly after 9:00 p.m. getting up at 3:00 to drain and then back to bed to rest, no sleep, just rest until 4:30 a.m. when I got up and got ready for my day. Right when realized something was wrong when everything seemed to go so right everything seemed effortless. Bed to wheelchair transfers in and out of the shower even getting my breakfast and dressing went too smooth. When I transferred into my powerchair my power reading read 97% and dropped a point or two and I was staring at the power indicator. I thought this reading was very strange and by the time I rolled into the kitchen and fixed breakfast I had dropped much further I knew I was going to have to take the van into work if I was going to make it to work.

Luckily /Dianne did not need the van and off I went but I felt anxious driving, I felt sleep deprived and I continue to tell myself the symptoms I am exhibiting is a mixture of what ever I had this weekend and sleep deprivation. I had not really planned to go to my Medical Practitioner(MP) thinking I was really on the mend but desperately needed some new meds and I just might have a raging infection or something wrong with me so I relented and made an appointment as soon as it was time enough for my MP Katia to get in. Dianne put together a history of my illness and my med/drug history and emailed to me which I printed out—Dianne dose such a complete, ordered and professional job medical presentations the documents really help me in communicating with my needs with my practitioner.

When I got to the medical center the batteries in my chair showed about 94 percent more then enough power to run All over the university med center. I felt I was ok because after seeing my medico, I had about 86% left so I thought I would get some lunch at he cafeteria which was a lot further way then I had anticipated, but still not 86% worth. By the time I finished burger I 21 percent the only option I had Was try to get to Out Patient Rehab and use one of their chargers which I knew they had. I ran the meter down to zero and stopped only twice but found enough power to get me the rest of the way—truly a miracle! I truly went hundreds of feet show”0” on my meter. I got hold of my old P.T Randy who immediately fixed me up with a battery charger and I sat in A Size office and read till I was juiced up enough to make it back to work.

Seriously I really felt like crying, I don’t k now why but I did! I swear I thinking m becoming histrionic or maybe it is what ever illness I have had or maybe it the meds I am taking for all the urological and aid reflux and all but its making a mess out of me. The MPO thinks I am doing Ok, maybe have a a little bladder or kidney infection—she took a sample and wrote me some scripts and sent me home or back to the office. I went back returned calls and charged my chairs. Tomorrow I have a broadcast and I have to do battle width my DME provider who is responsible for my power chair. So, this means I will have to drive into the city, yet again just try to stay alive or normal!

Stranded at u o u med center-charging batteries but something def wrong with chair or batteries. I am ok an will be back at my office shortly.

Patterns

Is it my imagination are am I getting ill more often? I am on the eve of returning to work after missing two days of work and one day of my weekend. I think I struggled with kidney or bladder infection and some sort of GI track infraction; either way I missed work and I hate to miss work. This bout of illness was not bad as they go, no deceased love one in the corner waiting to escort me back to the rest of the family, to blue shimmering veils or points of light. I just felt punk, had a fever and generally acted sick.
I did not go to the doctor though—which I strongly suggested to Frank at the office I would—when I called to report I was not coming in on Monday morning. Frank always gets to the office at 6:30 a.m. Then this morning when I called and indicating I was not coming in he dutifully asked if I had gone into the doc’s when I had to reply I did not. It bugged , a little, I should have gone in to the doc but I didn’t. I was too tired to drag my sorry ass out of bed, shower and shave and get into INSTACARE. I knew I was feeling better I just needed another day to rest up and build my strength back. Anyway Frank just cares I know that even if Frank has a new(to him) big red truck.

What has occurred to me as I lay in bed pondering my life was did I not get sick just previous to holiday weekend , like this one? I wonder if I am establishing some sort of a pattern, taking off a few days before the actual holiday, not like the days off will stretch the holiday coming up but something seems to be happening. But maybe its just dumb luck either way I don’t like it not one bit.

So I am back, but behind, I have a bunch of birthdays coming up and once again, I am late getting out cards and presents, I have a broadcast the end of this work week and a lot of catching up to do on the outside as it looks as if Spring may Hve finally gotten a hold on the Salt Lake Valley.

Moments

Do you ever have one of those movements when you realize , I mean really realize you were seconds away from death? One moment you are there just minding your own business and the next you would be someone else’s burial problem.

I have discussed at length in this blog about how I often use the street to roll on because the sidewalks, even if in good repair are just so physically challenging to ride on. Last night as I was traveling home from the train station I was on the side of the street( as usual) and I noticed two cars coming my way. One car pretty much in the center of the lane and the car, a small red compact, behind and traveling fairly swift and a little erratic, I could not tell if the little red car was trying to pass or what. I just kept traveling on my side of the road but I did pull closer to the curb then I usually do and the little red car whooshed by. The car was close but not too close it was then I realized the car was going to try to pass the other vehicle on the left side which, if it had, would have put the vehicle directly in my path and I most likely would have lost the joust instantly—I would have been gone. The driver of the red car obviously saw me…saw me in time and swerved back into his lane. I could see how the whole thing would have played out—I would have been dispatched instantly, chair mangled and I would have finished the journey I started 40 some years ago when I was hit my a car in Boise only this time. I would pass the blue shimmering light and in stead of being greeted by my Grandfather Harker ( though I am sure he would be there along with grandmother and my Grandparent Smiths but Mom and Dad would be there as well.

One the mortal side Dianne would hear sirens dispatched from IHC medical center or wherever—body recover not life saving mission –and wonder for a second and get one her day till the phone or knock on the door. Dianne would call the office the next day and advise them, but Frank will have already suspected something had happened since I was not to work at my usual time. The light would stay off in my office and staff would stand round and talk. Stones had been tossed into the pond and the ripples are working outward.

I felt the instant, though when the little rd car raced past how I would just stop and life would continue on, fast without me. Weird.

Inbound brisk but clear. Trains broke down state st. Could be interesting!

Running late-she held the train for ME! Clouds moving to clear its going to be a good day.

Quiet morning on train-hope all is well.

Gray, dark, cool morng. I'll be rained on today but i don't mind i've coat, hat and book. Today i can stand anything!

Leg Spazz

My power-chair is driving me crazy. I have been spending, what feels like the entire day, struggling to keep my right foot on the stupid foot plate of this chair. For some reason my right foot tends to spasm from resting on my footplate to straight out. Usually my foot hangs down from my knee at about a 90 degree angle which is fine but often as I am cruising in my chair or even sitting at my desk—like right now, typing, the leg will spaz out and kind of drag me slight out of my chair. When the spasm occurs it is not a painful ordeal, unless ofcourse I am ‘cooking’ down the road and my extended leg,foot0 should hi something or worse get caught beneath a wheel or footplate, the spasm is just annoying and sometimes embarrassing. Getting my foot back onto the foot plate is often challenging too. I have to ‘break’ the spasm, get the leg to loosen so I can bend it back into a position I can put on the plate. I then must drag and lift the leg into position and with limited hand function and strength can be a real work out and if all this effort is not enough I must be careful, when I pull my foot up that I do not drag my heal over the forward edge of the foot plate and pull the shoe clean off my foot.

I firmly believe the problem is either the positioning of the foot plates or the cushion I sit on, or depth of the seat of my chair. This all has something to do with the way my legs hang off the seat and cushion of the chair. The guy who sold me the cushion is a physical therapist by training and should be able to see this kind of stuff and remedy the problem but the remedy has not happened as yet. Perhaps the problem is me—maybe my spasms are getting worse, this could happen—nothing surprises me anymore especially when it has to do with me and my body. But what if it was the cushion –what if the insurance had purchased the wrong cushion on the PT’s recommendation and the only way would be to replace the cushion meaning the company would have to “eat” it and I don’t see this wheelchair shop doing that.

This weekend I got stranded in my chair laying the back position. I had to call my son in law to help me transfer from my chair to my manual wheelchair but I called my salesguy who was able to talk us through the problem( which were some pressure plates on the chair, a safety feature of the chair to protect animal tails and children’s fingers from being smashed when the chair fold back up into its upright position. I really appreciated the working with me on this problem 8:30 on a Friday night—so I don’t want to bug the guy too much and save the crises calls for real crises and not just foot spasm crises which I can usually fix myself, independently and with just a little frustration. My next step is to get a large Velcro strap strapping up my legs—this solution will look stupid but the resulting comfort will be priceless….

Utah computer Center for Citizens with Disabilities

Today was a broadcast day! I have been feeling good all day long. I had a good friend of mine, who I work with off and on Mr Craig Boogaard and here is today's interview..enjoy...

Homeward Bound

It happened again today, I was heading out the door to catch the train. Rain had come during the night and I was visited with just the lightest fragrance of sage—which immediately reminded me of sagebrush. This has happened a couple of times in the very early mornings, after rainfall. I have no idea where the odor is originating from, Murray is urban just concrete and steal and lots of plastic and pollution. But I do love the smell and I love the way this fragrance takes me back to my South Boise home, a small 17-acre farm butted up against the New York Canal and the desert beyond the canal which was loaded with sagebrush.

The sagebrush which used to live behind the farm and then canal is pretty much gone now unless one goes a lot further South but the area has filled up with homes and industry. Civilization creep has and is taking over the desert. In fact our farm is long gone replaced with the “Centennial” sub-division. I hope the mornings of Early Spring and Fall in South East Boise continue to be haunted by the rustic aromas but maybe those aromas are gone so much like everything else from my youth Maybe what I am really experiencing is as a gift, maybe I’m finding a map which will lead me…home.

Street Food China

I found this video today searching for Chinese recipes--she fascinated me--I would love to try one of these.

Lilacs

Yesterday after I had gotten home from work Dianne was all excited and wanted me to come with her to the back yard where the lilacs were in bloom. We had planted the lilacs in the back yard a couple of years ago and for one reason or another have never been able to enjoy the fragrance and sight of their blooms. The first couple of years we actually forget we had planted them until too late in the year to enjoy—not so this year. By the time I had found the stocking hat to cover my bald head Dianne was back in the house with a number of cuts off the lilac bushes. I was immediately overtaken by the strength of the cuttings fragrance. I was also immediately transported in time and place to 1957 or 1958 and t our farm in Boise, Idaho—we had a row of lilacs behind our house and in the front yard by our garage, the lilacs flanked the garage leaving about 36minches of space making a lilac covered walk way to our garden. The lilacs were purple and white and hung from the branches like clustered grapes. As I said the fragrance was over whelming and I thought the flowers lasted all summer long, but they could not have the bloom is but a few weeks and then they are gone leaving nothing but rich green leave and new sprouts pushing up from the ground. Long tender almost willow like in their flexibility.

I was not necessarily a bad kid but I was precocious, ask my older sisters they who really know. I remember during this time there seemed not to be a day which passed which I was not in trouble for one reason or another: teasing a little brother or sister without mercy, not getting homework or chores done, smoking a corn cob pipe or worse, stolen cigarettes or cigars. But when I did get caught for one of these many infractions the punishment was getting whipped with, you guessed it a lilac shoot, usually against bare legs since by this time of year I lived in cutoffs.

I was handed a butcher knife and told to go out to the garage and cut a willow. I would take as long as I could to execute this project to stay the pain—but, I could not wait too long because I wanted the sentence carried out before my dad came home because if he administered the punishment the punishment and shame would be worse.

The lilacs are beautiful and smell is divine as I roll back and forth infront of the table where they sit reminding of the exquisite pain of young bark against bare legs some many years ago.

MAY be

I have been off line all weekend and it was a long weekend. I took off Thursday just to take off and enjoy being home and not have to power into work in winter like weather as was called for and was. I had an information Fair Wednesday evening too which went till 8:00p.m. But, on Thursday morning I rose and found I could not get on line and have sorta been incommunicado since. It’s not like I had anything great to write but I could have. Today back in the office I am the only one here. Everyone else at the office is at a retreat—the quiet has been nice but the phones have been busy and I have been returning calls from the day spent away—the day has been busy but swift and somewhat warm. Hopefully I will have more time to write and get back to my routine tomorrow.