Sunday, January 28, 2018

Sunday Night Whine


I totally fell off the weight watcher wagon today I feel. I apologize for being so focused on this weight issue I am involved with. I just couldn't handle annotating every single thing I ate today. I did not eat that much, I don't think it's just I didn't have the patience to go through the whole process of running the numbers to come up with a set of points for whatever I was eating. I felt defeated on Friday when we did the weigh-in and realized that I for all the work I did, I only lost two points or two tenths of the kilogram.

I binged! I ate two wieners in one setting! I also had about five soda crackers with the hot dogs maybe a bit more crackers. I think I'm looking at six combined points. The soda crackers I think are low point counters but I can check. The point I'm getting to is that I think I might be trying to justify my bad behavior. Because I think at the end of this day I didn't msss up too bad but I just don't have those items annotated. I did not write the data down. I think part of my frustration also came from trying to write the data down in this little small notebook I have been using. It just does not lend itself to this kind of data and to be honest I am messy night right messy and I think that's what frustrates me too. I'd like my data to be neat, academically neat but neatness has been a skill set which has eluded me my entire life.

So tomorrow my weight watcher coach Dana will be here to do my morning routine which well include a pep talk least Dana seems to every time she's here. She does a great job and I definitely need the support and encouragement. I will do my work out some time tomorrow 30 minutes on the bike and I'm trying to get back into the rickshaw with a couple go at its and I think I need to build up my endurance to the hundred rep level. I tried so far I've only gotten to 60 reps. I experienced pain on my right side shoulder. So apparently I'm out of shape and I will have to work myself back up. The point being also is that the 30 minutes and whenever I do on the rickshaw allows me to eat a little more. Just writing about eating more food makes you feel pathetic and how dependent on food I seem to be.

Yesterday morning I went over to the food bank which is right across street from my apartment complex. I actually got frozen chicken and some frozen ham. I wanted to use the chicken to make more chicken frank for this week. I never got around to it because of the bobs I purchased in the “quick sale” section. I thawed the chicken breast and so it needs to be used. Hopefully, tomorrow I can get to that. Even if I have to freeze what I make that's okay I like having prepared meals. I made some rice and I made Spanish rice out of most of it this morning. Now I just plan to use the Spanish rice to make some dinner plates of rice tamales and refried beans.… I have worked at the point value for this dish is not bad as well as tasty.

I kind of feel like a failure tonight, embarrassed at how much my life revolves around food and ingestion hopefully that will not always be the case.


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