I am a mess! I woke up first around 2:15 AM luckily I was able to get back to sleep though is kind of surprised because my mind started really wandering through all the problems I'm dealing with right now. I was able to get back to sleep finally woke up again around for 15 4:30 AM and just good dozed from there on out and my mind to take over at that point. Not only worrying about my butt and what the RX for it would be but how was I going to run my life independently? Yesterday Dianne, freaked me out when she brought up the idea of assisted living. I don't know why I had such a reaction I'm a little embarrassed now but still I'm feeling a little threatened, a lot threatened but as I laid there in bed and thought about what my needs are I can see why people are beginning to bring this up more and more. I can be calling on relatives, work people here at the building, and other apartment folks to assist me with my independent living needs particularly now that I have a wound that's going to need some kind of attention on where the other. I have calls into by medical care people, I did send images but I don't know if anybody got them yet and waiting to hear back. Yesterday, I had Gloria who is over here doing some apartment cleaning trade out cushions and replace the bladders inside the one cushion that I've been sitting on which I believe is the cause of the pressure sore now dealing with. So we ended up putting in two bladders and we were going to trade them out before she left but then we forgot. Had I done that I would realize that didn't or couldn't use two bladders in the same cushion raises me up too high in my chair and too far forward. So this morning as I worried about enlisting rotation friends I would tell about 5 AM maybe a little later called Mark Anthony who was just getting ready for an event day. He took the day off to do one of his music events somewhere around 2100 S. State Street sounds like the County building. Anyway, I felt I needed to put the cushion in my chair before I transferred in this morning and figure just stop by quickly in and make that transfer that would be great. So right afterwards I started getting guilty about: in and tried to get them back to let them not worry about coming by because he has his own job is got to do. Of course that didn't work and he came by and did the trade out. Later on I got up and made the transfer was difficult but I did it what was really difficult was trying to dress myself in this chair with the extra bladder and the cushion. I didn't even try to put on my shoes. The storms coming in tomorrow and I have no coffee so probably not very wise I took off across the street for the coffee shop got coffee and back again.
I'm sitting in my chair waiting to hear a phone call from my medical people. Nothingness happened yet I want to pump my arm bike for an hour I don't know how wise that is in my brother Carl is coming over around 3 o'clock we can take the bladders out of the cushion at that point in time. I don't know what to do without being able to talk with my medical people. I would like to get a home health nurse to come by in the mornings for my dressings. The seems to be an issue it wasn't when we had the burn so I'm a little surprised. I spent time this morning talking to the new social worker, Rochelle, who I really like and she has wisdom for us young person. I have to make contact with their people in my family just asking if it's okay to ask for their assistance. I don't know if I will get a straight answer but the process needs to be gone through. Who can I call on in emergencies?
The other thought I'm having if I can't trust myself anymore, which I think I can once I get the bladders out of the cushion. But if not I could conceivably order a couple more hours a week for dressing and such. I think I'm showing that I have the financial ability to do so. This would keep me up and out in the community with what I want and not have to deal with the whole issue of assisted living and all the boogies that seem to be in my mind regarding that. Like I said today I'm a mess…
1 comment:
You will get through this. Do not treat yourself like a burden, because you are not. Assisted living is assistance without the control of choosing what you want assistance with. Many times the care you get is more abusive than actual care. Stay strong, stay independent! The things you have going on are only temporary and things will improve with time. Until then don't hesitate to rely on your network of friends, family, and caregivers because they all care about you!
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