Last Day

I sent my brother home today after breakfast at the Village Inn. Paul had spent the night at my brother's place where my mom is currently living. Paul had wanted to spend more time with mom since probably will not be able to get back down till after the Spring. We had a good visit then off he went to his world in Boise. We came home and then got the grand daughter ready for her return to her parents. Dianne did great with Auni's mega visit but I have to admit my nerves were wearing thin. Even with the pup the house has been much quieter. The pup also seems to be enjoying the quiet and just having Dianne and I yelling at her.

New Year's Eve and we are just hanging round the house—no plans to go out. We toyed with the idea of catching a couple of movies but could not even get motivated for that: paranoid that when we were threw and ready to come home the streets would be rampant with holiday enthusiasts just waiting to kill us in a drunken head on. So we are playing it safe and staying in. I have a bottle of Champaign I have been threatening to open for five years now in honor of the new year but never quite get round to using it. It is still early, five hours to go before midnight and we are not even sure we can make it. Dianne just started the holiday call around getting hold of family and friends round the country. I checked in with my brother to make sure he got home Ok and we had a good conversation with my mom and she still reeling from her birthday bash yesterday. She is tired but enjoyed the attention but I think she does need some rest. However, we are already planning a trip to a mexican restaurant in the next couple of weeks.

I am done now with the holidays, glad they are finally almost over and in a way I am ready to get back to work. I logged into my State account this afternoon and I did have a bunch of emails from the boss regarding plans she has for the new year. I was kind of hoping that we as State workers would get Tuesday off as part of the National Day of mourning for Gerald Ford but does not look like it. Oh well, just as well. I finished my latest Stephen King novel this morning. I have couple of more round the house but i think I may hold off for the time being. I picked up a couple of science fiction novels the other day and I may start these for the first reads of the new year.

This year I want to write moire fiction than last, I also want to enroll in a community Education art class, loose weight and just be a better person. Every one HAPPY NEW YEAR..

My mother’s birthday is today. She is 95 years old and of course there was a family celebration. A open house/birthday party over at the clubhouse at my aunt and uncle’s new condo. There was the mandatory cake and ice cream with lemon lime sherbet drink. We also had potato chips, veggie trays and a pretty nice group for the day before New Years. Auni continues her marathon sleepover-she extended the night one more night so she could be part of the celebration. Auni is an only child so her contact with other kids , when not in school is pretty limited. Any time there is the promise of cousins (kids) we try to include Auni. Her uncle Paul also made the trip down from Boise. Anytime Paul makes the scene the event turns out to be somewhat magical. Following the birthday party we rook Paul out for dinner, just Aunie, Dianne and me. Dinner seemed only fair since he traveled the furthest. Besides it was good having some private time with him.

My mother’s sister has a huge family and I would venture that most of them live in the Salt Lake area. My mother has always been a key figure in their lives. Many of these cousins were in attendance. There family had grown and become as colorful as mine. They did not arrive all at one time either but drifted in throughout the two hour time of this event. The constant coming and goings of people made the event seem even larger then it probably was.

95 years seems a major milestone to me. My mother was last of that Mormon pioneer stock who came to America . Actually Mom is second generation Her grand parents came over from England and came west with the sainted pioneers: An amazing story of agony, strife and death. As a child mom seemed to move back and forth between Utah and Canada a number of times. She drove jeeps during World War Two married my dad and raised us kids. I am sure I was probably one of the biggest challenges for mom as far as the kids went. Having a kid with a broken neck right in the middle of the ten kids , I am sure was more then daunting. Shoot, even if I had not been in the accident I would have worn my poor mother out. But mom even survived me. Heck she may even out live me. It’s hard to tell sometimes.

It’s kind of sad though at 95 every birthday is cherished and I hold my breath a little knowing as every life flows; even in the best of lives caught in times longest streams the stream runs only do far before it seeps back into the sand. Even the cous9ns I grew up with are much fewer them we used to be. My cousin Jimmy was there looking so much like his father it was frightening or my brother Carl or my cousin Jess all looking older—not ancient yet. Our family still has a few ancients in our stand of trees. But we the mature of forest are getting to the Ancient stand quickly.

Window Fourteen

I had really expected my lost wallet to have surfaced by this time but alas no way. So, I had to get out in public today and replace my drivers licenses and get another sticker( which was in my lost wallet)for my train pass or I will be sorry Tuesday.

The DMV is never a place where anyone wants to go to unless it's for your first license mostly because the individual does not know any better. Today was no exception; the last working day of the year and the place crowded beyond report. The DMV is an interesting place, to say` the least. The DMV is one of the few places in our culture people from every walk of life come together. The poor and the wealthy, brown, black and white, Christian and Mosley and everything in between. I could not believe the lines as I entered. There were signs everywhere exhorting you to “take an application and a number fill it out and wait.” Some folks had been at the DMV three hours. I was confused I always get confused in these type of situations. The applications were on shelves which were too high for me to reach. So I motored up to one of the clerks and asked for an assist. He jumped to my request because he knew the DMV was in the wrong. They should have had access. But I could feel the fish eyed looks I was getting from the poor souls standing in line. The clerk shoved an application in my hand and told me to fill it out. This was will and good but I did not have anything to write on, everyone else had nice little flat surfaces to write on, courtesy of the State—another violation. So, I put the power chair in gear and rolled up to the front again and asked for an accommodation. This time I went to a different harried clerk. She looked when I cleared my throat and I informed her I needed a place where I can fill out my application. When she finally focused her eyes on me and saw I was in a wheelchair she just said..”hold on a minute, you need window fourteen, I'll take you over.

Window Fourteen was all the way across the crowded room. I followed this State employee dutifully as she threaded her way through this hodge podge of humanity and soon we were at Window Fourteen. Window 14 was a ADA specification window built lower for people in wheelchairs. The clerk there was named John and John was just getting finished with an elderly driver who needed to sit to fill out his forms. When the old guy was done I was called up to the window. John told me to fill out the form and he would be right with me. (Remember I am a quad, I write with two hands and if my writing is to read I have to write slow and deliberate. Luckily John noticed this and John also realized if he was going to get out of there for his early lunch he had better fill out the form himself.

I was amazed at how fast the process goes when the worker is motivated. I payed my $13.00 and he took my picture and I had my working temporary license and I was gone. More fish eyes as I left building. They were pissed but I was out and gone and I would never seen of those folks again. I would have been pissed too but I am not proud and when I see an opening or opportunity I take it.

Silence

One of my favorite books is Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card the first book in a series of great books. Science fiction in genre about the exploits of a person who grow up to have a remarkable impact on the universe of Ender Wiggins. The second book in the series is Speaker for the Dead. The life Ender leads after he assists in the annihilation of an entire race of beings—even though Ender was being used and even though he was unaware of what he was really doing Ender experiences massive guilt and finishes his life repenting his involvement in the destruction of the “buggers” who were traveling to earth with conquest in mind.

In Speaker for the Dead. Ender throughly researches someone who has died and when Ender is ready he speaks the deceased life—sort of like an in depth obituary. In stead of speaking just the good and brilliant things the deceased had accomplished , Ender speaks the truth. Ender first speaks the collective life of the “Buggers”( which takes years for him to compile) but then he speaks other lives: the aristocracy and the common person. Ender becomes famous and everyone wants him to speak the lives of those of their family, however, these family member are often chagrined when in the course of speaking all the events of the persons life he reports on deeds which might be less then stellar. He makes people uncomfortable but yet he ends up having people be like him, these disciples make a religion out of his actions. The series is a good read I recommend it.

We took my mom to lunch today for Christmas and her birthday. Her birthday is day after tomorrow. Mom will be 95. In a quiet part of the lunch today when were alone—Dianne and Auni had gone somewhere . Mom leans over and asks me to refrain from writing anything more about my family. She says my blog is making folks unhappy. Wow, I thought I had been pretty restrained. I promised her I would try to be good and not write about the family. But, I don't know if I can. I'll try. But this event really reminded me of Speaker. Families, especially Morman families have such a vent to “dress” history in such a fashion that everything looks good regardless of how bad things might have been. It's a good thing Mom did not request I stop writing the blog entirely. I could not have promise that. I suppose I am shallow and selfish but I love my blog. I guess I am going to have to hold back a little. I am really quite surprised that anyone has read the blog at all and that those who have read the blog has found anything I have written distressing. If so I apologize. Do, for the time being I will tray to show restraint. I mean there are other things happening in my life outside of my family and I shall focus on thee events for a while..

One of my favorite books is Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card the first book in a series of great books. Science fiction in genre about the exploits of a person who grow up to have a remarkable impact on the universe of Ender Wiggins. The second book in the series is Speaker for the Dead. The life Ender leads after he assists in the annihilation of an entire race of beings—even though Ender was being used and even though he was unaware of what he was really doing Ender experiences massive guilt and finishes his life repenting his involvement in the destruction of the “buggers” who were traveling to earth with conquest in mind.

In Speaker for the Dead. Ender throughly researches someone who has died and when Ender is ready he speaks the deceased life—sort of like an in depth obituary. In stead of speaking just the good and brilliant things the deceased had accomplished , Ender speaks the truth. Ender first speaks the collective life of the “Buggers”( which takes years for him to compile) but then he speaks other lives: the aristocracy and the common person. Ender becomes famous and everyone wants him to speak the lives of those of their family, however, these family member are often chagrined when in the course of speaking all the events of the persons life he reports on deeds which might be less then stellar. He makes people uncomfortable but yet he ends up having people be like him, these disciples make a religion out of his actions. The series is a good read I recommend it.

We took my mom to lunch today for Christmas and her birthday. Her birthday is day after tomorrow. Mom will be 95. In a quiet part of the lunch today when were alone—Dianne and Auni had gone somewhere . Mom leans over and asks me to refrain from writing anything more about my family. She says my blog is making folks unhappy. Wow, I thought I had been pretty restrained. I promised her I would try to be good and not write about the family. But, I don't know if I can. I'll try. But this event really reminded me of Speaker. Families, especially Morman families have such a vent to “dress” history in such a fashion that everything looks good regardless of how bad things might have been. It's a good thing Mom did not request I stop writing the blog entirely. I could not have promise that. I suppose I am shallow and selfish but I love my blog. I guess I am going to have to hold back a little. I am really quite surprised that anyone has read the blog at all and that those who have read the blog has found anything I have written distressing. If so I apologize. Do, for the time being I will tray to show restraint. I mean there are other things happening in my life outside of my family and I shall focus on thee events for a while... Silence.

Sloth

I have not even put socks on today. I just laid low read Stephen King and played on the computer. A great day for me but I will have to make up for time the rest of the week. We are supposed to take my mom out lunch and we have the grand daughter for the next couple of nights. I still have to get to the DMV to duplicate my lost license get the new items on my power chair and get to Barnes and Nobel and spend my Christmas gift from my boss. There is a light prediction of snow for tomorrow but I will he surprised if the snow appears on the valley floor.

I gotta gotta go the granddaughter is starting The Back Yardigans.

December 26, Return Day

I returned to CompUSA today to return a device, a card reader I bought of Sunday, I got the wrong size. I was pleasantly surprised to find few people out, oh there was a line at the service counter but not too bad. I watched people for a while. There was a daddy daughter team. The dad was upper middle class. He obvious did not want to be there with his older teenage daughter. She looked like she could have been a college student. They were returning an IPOD product. The item being returned was some sort of media storage device. She and dad were returning what ever size Dad had got her for an 80 gig storage device. 80 gigs! 80 gigs is a lot of space I wonder what this kid is planning on doing when she goes back to school. Even more I wondered how the Christmas experience went when the kid opened the gift and saw the gift was not “Giant size” Rip,rip, tear ...silence. Dad is beaming thinking that his daughter will be so excited when she sees th 40 gig storage device then ..” Ah Daddy? This is the forty gig hard drive did I say that I needed the 80 gig size.”

“ 40 80 gig whats the difference, it'l take you a long time to fill 40 gigs of hard drive.” Dad laughs when he says this thinking the daughter is kidding after all he did the research a 40 gig hard drive will hold 10,000 songs, and this is not enough?

“ Daddy” now whining “ 80 gigs is what I am going to need. It's not just music

but lectures, movies and everything. The 80 gig is only $150.00 more. I am going to nerd the 80 gig pleeeeeassse.”and on it went late into the Christmas night and there he stood with daughter in toe exchanging the little box for the big box. When the CompUSA clerk asked if there was defect with the equipment and she just said no, it was not big enough, that was all and the clerk seemed to understand perfectly. I could see in the clerks eyes like “Wow, what are you bitchin' about? Least you have an IPOD that you did not have to work for. I get a discount an I still cannot afford one un-lease I steal it and that's not going to happen.”

I zipped round and left. I next stopped at the Deseret Industries, the great Mormon second hand store, across the street. I wanted get a power strip to take into work and I have seen powerstrips there for just a $1.00. I could not believe it there were no powerstrips. What I did see was touching. I saw a dad with his daughter. The dad was kneeling down helping the daughter try on shoes actually they were trying on boots. Cute little kid rubber boots, a set of little pink boots and a set of fur lined boots. I left them and wondered over to the books. I found something and left for the checkout. When I got there I happened to behind the dad and daughter. The six year old was beaming holding two sets of boots like treasure. Worlds of difference just crossing the street.

Christmas Ends

Merry Christmas again everyone's is going to be a short one. Boy am I am glad this season is nearly over. I did get to see mom today but visited with her and she sounds OK a bit tired. She went into the emergency room today but she is doing better now. Mom just has a bout of gout and he3r wrist should be better soon. Mom is much relieved. We are all glad she had not broke her wrist. I was worried mom was going to be alone today but she was in the ER so her loneliness was not an issue.

Mark and the girls were over earlier in the day for gifts and later the boys were here and Mark returned and more visits were had. Later Dianne and I watched le miserables(sp). I am tired now and I am going to bed.

God Bless Us Everyone

Christmas Eve almost 9:00 pm and I am wishing the holiday was over as I am washed over by a sea of emotions the majority of which are probably on the negative scale side of the emotive scale. Feelings of inadequacy of a parent ,of a son , husband , brother, nephew friend and on and on and on. Christmas day has turned to a nightmare of trying to meet and fit schedules. Actually it is not so much as fitting schedules as trying to make sure my mom is covered. Part of the issue is being able to physically access the place where she lives and make sure she is not by her self on Christmas day. This has never been much of an issue when mom was living with my aunt and uncle the seemed to keep themselves entertained and were miles away. I had a good excuse, not only was my mothers home not accessible she was miles away. Now mom is six blocks away. I still have to be sure someone will be at the house to make sure I can access the place. So , now I feel I have to make a reasonable attempt visit. Then my poor brother who has taken mom in is truly a saint and I am sure is caught in the same guilt ocean as I am paddling. My brother id very involved with his family and they have a Christmas afternoon movie tradition and I know mom is not going with them. So, I am thinking to myself if it were me I would be feeling pretty abandoned if I were by my self on Christmas afternoon. Actually feeling the way I am right now I would see the afternoon to myself as a gift in and of itself. But that is me, not a 90+ year old women who still believes in the Hallmark/Norman Rockwell concept of the Christmas. She is grieving the aspect that she can not the gifts she had stored in her garage in her sisters home and now she has moved to her son's home, the gifts are somewhere in his garage and she had not been able to access the gift let alone warp and get them to her hundreds of grandchildren and great grand children.
Mom went to her sister's this afternoon at 3:00 or so and I was surprised when I tried to call her a few minutes ago and she was not back yet. I am afraid she will be exhausted tomorrow and maybe prefer to sleep all of her Christmas Day.

Still there is my son who is married and who is trying make arrangements with us as to when he can be by to do the gift thing as well and this should be done before 3:00 when he has to do the Christmas thing at his wife's family. Dianne is going over to the grandchild's at 7:00. I am going to stay home and work out the arrangements of how I will get past the day with as little guilt and grief as Possible. God bless us every one!

Frenzy

Dianne needed pecans for a pie she is going to make a family member and I wanted to get the track ball to replace the track ball the pup destroyed last weekend. I also wanted to scout some last minute gifts. Dianne went down for a nap so I split off to Sam's club. I was foolish to think something like this would be a simple task the last Saturday before Christmas. The traffic was horrible as I turned onto State street, stop and go traffic but I lucked out and got the lane I needed to make the turn into Sam's club. I actually did pretty good. I did the roll round found the pecans and coveted the huge sizes of everything from pies to NY strips. I cruised the computer items but Sam's did not have the track ball I was looking for. I was heading for checkout when I remember I had lost my wallet which means I had lost my Sam's card. So I had got out of line and made my way over to Customer Service. I was relived to find that replacing my Club card was as simple as replacing my bank card had been. I am also on a cash economy now since I have canceled my credit and debit cards. I have not tried my new bank card since I got it. It had better work because I am going through the $200.00 I got out of the bank Thursday much quicker then I had anticipated.

I thought about driving downtown to find a deli to see if I could find a German sausage I been looking for for my neighbor but since I had gotten out of the house later then I would have liked just headed over to CompUSA. The Comp was crowded but not as bad as Sams's Club had been. I down loaded and got inside and looked at everything I would like then found the trackball I needed. The one I got was $21.00 the trackball I would have really wanted was $100.00 and since I am still feeling the pinch of the lost wallet I was happy with the Logtech.

Here are some images from last night's dinner plus I have included a clip from James mini-concert. We had a good time we really appreciated the boys coming over. We ate,talked laughed and listened. Brooks had leave soon after eating, he still had tons of shopping to do. The boys left about 10:00 and we crashed. We were exhausted but Dianne had produced a perfect roast beef dinner complete with banana cream pie. I had a rum egg nog and I was set to go to bed.

So a little more snow is expected. The phone calls have started regarding who and what and where for Christmas Day events. I am beginning to get nervous. I just don't know how to do Mom. Not much communication going with parts of the family and tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I am sort of glad the stores will be open tomorrow till 6:00 pm.

The Last Day

The phones are dead and I am just manning the phones to have coverage until five this afternoon or until the boss turns us loose. I doubt that is going to happen so I am just marking time. I have been training the volunteer/new employee in my office, Dawn. Dawn is learning fast and we are still getting her the equipment she needs do her job. IT was in this morning setting up her computer and dedicating a phone line to her work station. It’s cute Dawn has already settled in and is playing Solitaire. I am always amazed at how much groups have in common: human nature. I justify Dawns use of the games as her getting experience with our computers. I sense she is doing well perhaps a little frustrated that she does not have more to do. Volunteers are a lot like kids. You have to be one step ahead of them. You have to have to keep them busy until they can be come self directed with what needs to be done.

The phones maybe dead but that does not mean there is not excitement. You may remember that our office is located in the same building as the Mexican Consulate. So I could say,”: there is a little bit of Mexico right over my head.” There is an political demonstration out on the sidewalk in front of our building today. There seems to be a rascal bug who is governor of Oaxaca and these folks want him out. I don’t know why they picked today as their day of reckoning but they did. I did some research on the INTERNETI and seems like a nationwide maybe International event. I am impressed , it’s snowing today and it’s cold out there and these are picketing the building since 10:00 this morning. I briefly went out at my lunch break and was handed a flier which says they will be holding a formal rally at 3:30 this after noon so maybe there will be press and some fun adjulation. Maybe the boss will send us home early. Yet, sticking round could be most entertaining.

James my, Cadillac Kid , drove into town last night from Arizona. James is one of my ”other kids” and he is at his real dad’s place while in Utah. But he was very interesting getting together so we are having a dinner tonight for James and brother Charles. Others have also been invited should be sitting down to the table at our house for a fine dinner of roast beef and gravy. James , I understand, brought his instruments and hopefully we will also have a bit of a concert. I will try to get snatches and post on my “Youtube” account. Dianne and I were planning on a fairly quiet holiday season but who knows with James in town anything could happen.

Still no word on my lost wallet, I cancelled my credit cards just a few minutes ago. I am sure the wallet is gone and I have already started filling up a new one. I wonder how long I will be able to hold of this one.

Lost!

This was turning out to be a “not so bad Christmas” actually maybe even a bit better then most—not as much money as I would like, but is there ever enough money? I was touching all the bases, son’s mother’s and visiting mothers, wife’s birthdays. Company holiday lunch, survivor’s lunch various open houses and supporting grandkid concerts and yest don’t forget a puppy in a pear tree.

This morning as I 15 minutes rising which means I don’t get a breakfast but I wasd able to make the early bus and I figured I would have time for a fast breakfast above the TV station. I ordered and went to pay and I did not have my wallet!!! Then I did that instant going through my mine of everywhere I went yesterday and the last time I remember having the wallet. Well, I canceled my order and booked into work. The time was only 7:30 nothing was open so I called Dianne in hopes my wallet was laying on the kitchen table or on the floor somewhere. But of course the wallet was not there. I did my usual thing, log in on my computer then Make coffee and scarf a couple of cold hot dogs I keep in the feezer here at the office just for these kind of emergencies. As soon as the clock stuck nine o clock I started calling round, Utah Transit Authority “lost and found” nothing, then to ZCMI mall “ lost and found” nothing Jeannie Smoke shop and finally to the Food Court McDonalds ( this is where I bought a pile of gift cards) and there was nothing there . Strike outs all the way round. I have lost it or the wallet’s been stolen. So on another extended lunch hour I went to my bank and canceled by bank card and got another and got enough operating cash to get me through the holiday. I am going to hold off canceling the credit card and debit card for just another day and see if anything turns up. I only had about $80.00 in cash in the wallet but the wallet did have my driver’s license and precinct card insurance cards and such. It’s just the little things that live in the wallet which must be replaced.
Dawn started today volunteering. She will be answering phone and helping me here in the office. Dawn is a high functioning person with DD. I think she will be able to do the job the question we are wrestling with how can we hire the woman and not have her benefits messed up? We will hire her at half time with no benefits everyone wins. She lives literally round the corner from the office and is able to walk to work. I’ll keep you informed.
One of the things did over my extended lunch hour was attend my granddaughters concert down in the zcmi Mall. I will try to add a clip from “Youtube” account. I enjoyed being included and supporting the kids. This worked out great since the concert was over lunch and just a couple of blocks from my downtown office. And I’ll leave you with this final clip. I have been downtown a lot this whole week and I have always heard this flute player performing by the City Center” Trax station. He is out in the cold all day blowing on his flute. He has a little gas generator which powers his sound system. For the first time today I noticed he had no fingers…I took this footage and gave him a dollar.

So Long Autumn

5

Tomorrow is Winter Solstice: the end of Autumn and the beginning of Winter but more important to me the beginning of the end of darkness. Beginning tomorrow the duration of sunlight will begin to lengthen each day. I know at first it is impossible to notice any change but just knowing this huge old ball of mud is beginning to tilt back up on its axis just makes me feel warm fortified with the knowledge Spring is just a season away.

I just got back from an extended lunch: three hours, the first of which I spent with members of the survivors club. These are former staff of the office I currently work. We try keep in touch and traditionally have a winter holiday lunch. Rather then usual five we had only three members the food was hot and relatively quick, the conversation was polite and with in the boundaries of our agencies. Our agencies are not necessarily adversarial but I can often feel when I am being probed for information. The last two bosses I have had at this agency have been fairly colorful and seems like everyone one out there is the disability community wants to know what the office is up to. Since I make it a point to know as little of the parent agency as possible, and still stay on payroll, I make less the stimulating dinning conversation. I drop a few tidbits here and there through the meal and everyone seems pleased. Everyone wants to know but few want to venture beyond the barriers of good taste so I remain fairly safe from any type of insubordination. The rest of the time I spent racing round downtown getting errands out of the way and trying to figure out what to get for staff for the holidays. I caved again on the side of simplicity. I got McDonalds gift cards in $5.00 denominations. I know the boss stops frequently at “the Arches” for breakfast and I know the new Program Manager does the same so the cards should work out fine. McDonalds is ubiquitous and I firmly believe everyone can find something they can enjoy at the Golden Arches for $5.00 or less. I got enough cards that I would have back gifts for those unexpecteds which always show up.

I noticed, while downtown, today I feel the season is beginning to wind down. People looked cold and tired as I passed them on the sidewalks or inside the malls. Yesterday afternoon, on an errand of mercy I noted that top brass at a number of state agencies I deal with wee already invisible for the holiday. Voicemails was all I was able to get claiming the now would be ouit of the office until the first of new year. Typical. The hustle and bustle of the season, I sensed, must have peaked Monday or Tuesday. Mercifully the sun was out and the ambient temperature in downtown Salt Lake did not feel nearly as cold as the thermometers read at 24 degrees.

I was just called by my suicidal chronic. She is alive and well. She has even moved and she said she would be die before she moved. I think she still has issues she is going to have deal with but she sounds happy and like she will survive. So, more Christmas miracles

I Love My Dog But

…
6
We have now had possession of our dog Ginger just over a week and we have been extremely lucky. Ginger is an nine almost ten week old vizsla. She no longer cries when we put her down for the night. She sleeps through the night and continues her lessons at potty training. The house braking is coming along and it seems we are having less and less accidents even in the super cold and snow Salt Lake is currently experiencing. Ginger will usually hold her water, if we see her squatting, until we can send her out side. This is no small feat given all the snow on our deck. Ginger always looks at us as if we are crazy but she will go out and do her business. So far I have only really rolled over her once. It’s a good thing she is still developing and has rubbery bones. My chair is massive and she was in back of me and I rolled over her mouth. There was impressive yelp but she seems ok now an gives the power chair wide birth. Ginger was distant the remainder of the night but was jumping on me again by the next day.

Cinnamon our last dog was about two years old and house trained when we got her. Ever thing about Cinn was grand, no house mistakes, no puddles or messes…ever. Cinn if anything was a bit over protective, a runner always was, leave the door open a crack and she as gone and rook forever to get her back. She barked at everyone ad was over enthusiastic on her greetings. Cinn was a dream compared to Ginger. Ginger is a baby—she needs tons of attention and when she is not afforded this attention Ginger tends to tantrum. Ginger nips hand and feet. Luckily for us her teeth are still her baby teeth but still hurts. She is a chewer too. Sunday she was behind my main desktop for a second and my mouse stopped working. I use a track ball and the track balls, for me, are expensive. I found about a half an hour after the track ball stopped working that the cord had been bitten in two! Just like little kids I cannot be mad at Ginger, I should have know I cannot leave these wires out where she can chomp through them. What Dianne and I have to do is puppy proof the house. Leather jackets, shoes, especially shoes, newspapers must be placed our of Ginger’s reach one way or another and doors to rooms must remain shut, now at all times. The deadly material under the kitchen sink which smell so good must now be moved so Ginger does not partake.

I was able to check on the INTERNET today, the first chance I have had about vislas. The visla are smart intense animals, highly trainable. So, I guess we can start training her now! She should be lighter then Cinnamon, who was muscular and solid. She likes to be free like cinnamon too. She hates her cage and always protests when she in incarcerated, usually. But last night she did this massive ating out thing of nipping and yapping and tearing up newspaper until for time out we threw her in her cage and she immediately was quite, plopped her head on her pillow and watched TV. So, she wanted to be in her cage is all we can figure out either that or she just wanted to watch Fox.

Pre-Christmas Week

7

Storms brought snow and cold all weekend but sent the stage for Christmas. I wussed out and drove my van all the way into work. I was just going to drive up to the train station I was so late getting out of the house this morning that I would have been late if I trained in, even driving to the station in my van. I was also, unsure how accessible the path to the station would be after the storms of the weekend. Looks pretty clear though and I will take my chair up to the train tomorrow. Even if the temperature is cold I don’t mind too much having warm clothes and especially a hat, I should be OK.

I was thinking this time next week it will be Christmas day. This means this whole week is a lost week all most as bad as nest week. The calls into our Call Center drop off precipitously; other offices we need support from are staffed with only skeleton crews statewide. Work related Christmas parties and open houses are just about finished and the temperature dive pretty much insures no one is going to be out unless they have to.

Today is the office Christmas/Holiday lunch: lunch at a local steak house. We were supposed to have left an hour ago but we had to wait for an out of town person to get here and the boss and one of the board members had unscheduled meetings this morning with members of the Governor’s Staff, which ran longer then expected, naturally. So the office is on hold we wait and “stage” for the trip to the restaurant. This is an office only lunch. In the past we have had catered dinners here at the office and included board members and spouses of staff or other Christmas Pasts we have met at the bosses house for an evening affair which I always found t be a lot of stress. I am glad we are doing this restaurant thing—the lunch is down and dirty over and done with. I wish we would just get going.

Diamond Lil’s is where we had the lunch and the lunch was very good, I have to admit I was surprised The lunch was weird though with two of our long distance staff coming in an one of those staff is in a current battle with cancer, brain cancer, WoW!! What a challenge. The person with cancer’s sister drove her up from Central Utah. Actually she had to be up in the vicinity anyway for he cancer treatments. The power chair I use puts me way up in the air and I find getting under a table difficult, so I end up sitting quite a way from the table. I end up feeling awkward. So, I was sitting at the end of the table quite away from everyone else. Add to the mix one of our consumers who is also council chair, this year, and who tends to yammer away. The event was OK not stellar but alright. Back at the office I am full as a tick and fighting to stay awake and counting down the clock.

Snowy Sunday

I know, I know, I missed a day. I the it when I ship a day but I just could not bring myself to sit down and write yesterday. We had some mild family trauma the night before and stayed up to late (for me) and we had the granddaughter spend the night as well and add to the mix Ginger and I was just exhausted yesterday. Snow fell during the night so I shoveled the ramp and did the grocery shopping. Am I whining? Sorry but I need an excuse to cover my lost writing.

More snow fell last night, a lot more snow and I have yet to get out and shovel. In fact I am letting the snow to slow. I only want to shovel once today. I cannot wait too long though or the neighbors will start coming by shoveling my snow for me. One already has. Must have been early because when I looked out at 7:00am the ramp had been done at first thought there only a skiff of snow had fallen but the snow plows kept running up and down the street and I looked again and saw that piles of snow had been thrown up on the sidewalk and sure enough I am sure my neighbor Al had done my ramp and walk. Al’s work was five hours ago and now the whole mess needs to be done again. But like I said, I want to wait till this storm peters out. There is even threat of more snow tonight so, I am just going to pace myself.

It’s hard to believe but this time next week it will be Christmas Eve, all the parties, shopping wrapping and gift guessing well be over—we still have New Years to endure but that holiday is not nearly as stressful as Christmas. I am planning to take Annual the week following Christmas. I have he hours and I need to spend them down now or I will be in jeopardy loosing hours and State employees hate loosing hours. When I reminded staff of this at last weeks staff meeting I sort of got the impression from the boss that she did not approve and it was only after I volunteered I would at least call in and check my calls. I am starting a volunteer this week and maybe I’ll have her cover the phones. I don’t know if I can get away with this plan or not but we shall see. No better way to learn the ropes but to jump into the mix. My experience is that calls tend to lighten quite a bit during this holiday period. I will stall check in and make sure the volunteer and the boss are OK. I do not anticipate any issues.

Have a great Sunday and a great week. I am off to shovel snow and Christmas shop and maybe get to some reading in if I have time and the energy. Dress warm maties and have lots of hot coco on the ready…here I go.

I'm worth it, I'm worth it, I'm worth it...

10

Pay Day, that time of the month every working bloke dreams of and works toward: the period when what ever is owned for time worked becomes payable. Even if you will be broke again in two weeks, a week or a day, you feel great for a second. Pay day is a day of celebration again , even if short lived. The worker celebrates being alive by a drink at the bar, or a movie or going out to dinner.
I am fortunate to have my check direct deposited into my account. I do not get the rush of having some one hand me my check. On the other hand I do not have to hassle with breaking away from the office and going to bank to deposit or cash said check. Just knowing the pay period has come is good enough for me. Some payday morning I get off the train downtown and stop at one of my favorite breakfast restaurants in honor of payday, other days I’ll stop at my coffee shop and get half a pound of my favorite coffee ground. Today I stopped at the german bakery round the office from my office. I thought with the change I have in my wallet I’ll get a pastry. Sometimes during the week I’ll stop for a couple of Kaisers or rolls to have for lunch. The girl will usually throw in a sweet roll or two free. The Kaisers run about .45 cents a piece So, I figure a sweet roll cannot be that much by itself. The other issue is the baker is built in a historic Salt Lake building. The building has no access. I usually grab someone walking by and have them send out, or I’ll knock on the window and last option is to call them with my cell and let them know I am out front and he skip out and take my order. The point is I cannot leisurely wonder up and down the shelves of baked goods. I just order and hope I have enough to cover my order. This morning I ordered one cream filled sweet roll. There was a young guy wearing a baker’s apron milling round the front of the time. I drove my power chair up under the widow and rapped on the window pane. He started and looked round and started again when he saw , what seemed, my disembodied had waving back and forth trying to get his attention. He came out and took my order and quoted $2.10!! Yowsser Arafat! $2.10 for a stupid sweet roll. He took me by surprise and turned and skipped back in the bakery before I could say “ Just hold on a minute, did I just hear you say $2.10?” By the time he had skipped back out with one sweet roll in the white little paper sack and I could just not break his heart. So I ponied up the cash and change and held the bag out in front of me like whatever was inside my break. $2.10 for one stinking sweet roll, I bet I could have got half a dozen glazed doughnuts, cookies and coffee for the same amount of money. As I rolled to work I kept repeating a mantra “ “I am worth it…I am worth it , I am worth it.

Santa Me

11

Ho Ho Ho It’s that time of year again a year ago minus one day I was at the independent living center doing the Santa gig. Today I played the part again. I felt better then I did last year but looking out over the smaller and smaller crowd I felt a sadness for days gone past. Kim, kinda of the associate director at the Center treats me. He actually assists me put on the Santa suite. Kim helps me in the
interest of time and the fact I put this suit on over my street clothes would be next to impossible for me to achieve independently.

I am part of a ritual: I arrive like a visitor to the center’s festivities. If I am early enough I might partake of what ever meal the center is serving this year. This year the meal consisted of canned chili, chips and rolls. I am offered food and once finished I am whisked into the director’s office when Kim then assists me in dressing. We discuss world politics, local current events then what is going on at the Center. Kim and I once had side by side offices 20 or so years ago. We also share very similar senses of humor among other things. I pull on the huge Santa shirt and we cinch up the black wide belt and apply the wig and facial hair. The synthetic hairs immediately starts inching my nose. The read cap goes on just before the two black sheaths go on my feet to simulate Gestapo like boots. When I am finished being made ready Kim goes out to the main area where the consumers are and beg\ins leading them in caroling, by the third carol charge my power wheelchair out into the throng do the triple “Ho” thing and mosey over to Mrs Clause, who is already situated in front of a fake fire place. In years past I had been given boxes of candy canes, trinkets and other ‘Santa treats” This year the “Santa Treats” were “Dum Dum bouquets” four or five dum dum suckers bound together. But the treats were forgotten till three fourths of the way through the event. So, no treats but that is OK, because the big event is if you are a consumer, or staff member for that fact, is to have you image taken with me and Mrs. Clause. I sit there and say “Merry Christmas” every time Debbie snaps the Polaroid and the machine spits out another Christmas memory. This goes on, non- stop for the next two hours. Smile click, move on next and begin again. I am sorry to be as cynical as tend to be but the event is similar to running cattle through the chutes at the stock yards. This is the way my day went and then first Tommy shoes, my buddy Tommy—See last year entry. Tommy is still with us but so racked with MS is is just able to smile and he can speak. He shoes up being pushed by his attendant covered with a quilt I swear his mother must have made before mom died. He looks pathetically Tommy. He of course recognized me smiles and his eyes looks like a James Croce song. We talk briefly and I send Tommy on his way and ten minutes later Davy arrives. David is my buddy from the old days like , Tommy. David is a head injury survivor. David looks more and more distant every year but he comes into focus as I call his name and we share a smile and a few words. Dave now lives at along term care facility and hates the place. I make a mental note to make some time, in the coming year, and spend some time with David. I did this last year and never did. But maybe this year I will carry through.

When the two hours pass the call the day, Kim removes the Santa suite and I say my good byes and head back to work thankful at being independent and focused enough to be where I am at this point in my life. I gas my van turn North on Main street and just drive.

Woof

12



Just hung up the phone from a caller wanting to find a “service animal” vest or more accurately a vest with” Companion Animal” written on the vest. I get these calls from time to time , usually from apartment dwellers who are trying to figure out how they can do an end run the No Pets Allowed” policy of the complex they live in. Or maybe it’s a grocery store or doctors office. There is actual legislation written on and protecting real life service animals. Animals which can document their training as service beasts. Usually dogs but some monkeys have also had service careers.

The companion animal is relatively, I would say less then a decade old. The requirement, if there are any, seem much rigorous then their service cousins. Usually a physician or some other medical gate keeper must fill out a document to get the animals paper work. You know there is not even an official state or federal office which oversees such activities. I think there might be a couple of dog trainers who will spend time with beast and owners and then Christine the “owner and Companion” so in my estimation the companion dog thing is kind of a racket. If you pay your dime and do your time you get the papers, still I do not know where you get the cute little or big vests.

So there are always those who want to push the limits. Lately, I have been contacted by two people who say they have raised their own companion dogs from pups ad the owner has raised the dogs the way they wanted and now wants to get the spiffy new vest so they can drag their mutt to Nordstrom’s or ride the bus. So the lady I spoke with today was crying and moaning about how everyone is being so negative toward her “ companion’ animal. All she wants is the vest. Somewhere in the course of the conversation I curiously asked the breed of the dogs. Then with out breaking step she says “Oh, their both pit-bulls, I raised them from pups.

My whole demeanor must have changed in the heartbeat she said pit-bull. If I had been bored trying to keep myself away I had been snapped wide away and suddenly I was being as whole lot less then objective. Having a pit bull as a companion animal is like using a cocked glock as a hammer. Sure you may get the nail in the board but at what risk? If you are using a Glock for a hammer you really just want a deadly weapon to hit a nail with. If you are using a pit bull as a companion dog your are wanting a whole lot more then just a cuddly companion and everyone in your scope of existence had better be ware. I told her if there was an entity which certifies service dogs, I mean a real agency, I would be surprised if they would cert a pit bull—just too aggressive. It’s the locking jaws, just so damn messy. So, I am going to spend some more time trying to find the dog vests or an agency which grants “companion dog” credentials. If I find either I will then I shall have to live with the guilt of having been a small part in the process of allowing “loaded weapon” free access to the public in the name of disability. I feel so used.

Gift Cards

13

This day has just evaporated on me. I need to get something written or the day will be gone. Dianne’s birthday is tomorrow and yes, I caved and I got her a gift card. I was totally lost on what I might get her. So, a card at the mall card shop and a Sears gift card(GC). Ever since I have decided the best I was going to do this year was give gift card and e gift cards. I have been trying to justify this crude, rude method of giving some how in my values system.

Gift carding is like so many experiences of our times designed to be swift, efficient and cosmetically acceptable. The action looks good and who will decline a gift card…hey it’s a gift card from the very bottom of my heart. I get a coupe of gift cards a year and I have learned to expect the card and build the card into my gift getting experience. Thinking about receiving the GC my GC made me think. I usually get a gift card to Best Buy, Barnes and Nobel or CompUSA mainly because one of these store is on the way over to the house and he has just to stop in and get the card. Cool, efficient over and done. I have grown to love these cards I get from my son because usually I use them to get a book that I can read during the season I get it, whether the season be Father’s Day(Summer) or Christmas( Winter) Since I am usually in the middle of a book during these periods I donot mind waiting till I have enough time I can slip away and wonder through the store of choice to find my “gift”.

My drawback to gift cards is many times it’s difficult to find the vedor of the specific card open on Christmas Eve when you might get the card or for sure trying to find a book on Christmas Day. I carefully must slip the card into my wallet or back pack then and pray I don’t loose the $20.00 piece of plastic.

Receiving a gift, either wrapped in festive paper and ribbons or in the ubiquitous “wrapper” complete with white tissue paper stuffed into the top giving the illusion of a wrapped gift, is all together different then getting the GC. You have the gift right then and there. A pen is a pen, a book you have right now. You can sit down when the festivities calm down and crack it’s spine and get immediately lost. Same with ipods, soft ware, mp3 players, dvds, cd’s glovers and socks. You have them there and then. Someone thought about you enough to make, get, or order these things for You/me. To me this is the ideal and I swear next year I am gifting real gifts. Nice, real books and gadgets that a person well feel charmed to receive and will b anxious to be left alone so they can study the gift loser and enjoy the gifts very passion. I will have to spend time contemplating the person, quizzing and questioning that person to be sure of what they like and want they do not like and what they do not already have. And what I think would be the best gift I can give to them.

Piddles of Puddles and Piles of Poo

14

This morning launched Ginger’s fourth day at our house and she continues to be a member in good standing at the house hold. I have to admit, however, I am blurry eyed this afternoon. The pup continues to cry at night when we put her down in her cage. Gabe brought over a huge pillow for her to sleep oh and Dianne got a traveling Cage for Ginger. Actually the cage is huge, bug enough the cage has dividers so two animals could ride at once. We have placed the cage in the spare room for the time being. That room is close to ours and we can hear the dog pretty good as she yelps and howls. In all fairness to the pup last night she “cried” for less then twenty minutes after she was put in her cage. She was even silent through the night, this does not necessarily mean she was a sleep through night she was quiet. This is a gigantic step compared to Friday or Saturday nights. I feel this is a great sign. I did note the Ginger did start up this morning very son after I got up.( 4:30 am.
I have also noticed that Ginger is settling in round the house. She has established a favorite hide out under the dinning room table. She has drug some clothes under the table and made a small nest where she will sit for as long as I sit at my computer in the front room.

I noticed that the pup also likes to be under my wheelchairs, which ever one I might be in at the time. Having the dog underwheel like this really makes me nervous. Ginger has become feisty in the time she has been at the house. She is a pup and tends to frolic especially after she comes in out of the cold from doing her” business”. I have to be ever vigilant at this time to make sure her tail or other body parts art not in the vicinity of my wheels. A smashed tail, I am sure, she could no doubt deal with but a broken back, leg or skull is another matter entirely. Dianne does not seem worried about Ginger’s risk exposure feeling she will have to look out for herself sooner or later; still doenot make it any easier on me.

Dianne has done a very good job of keeping an eye on the little critter. Any time Ginger even looks like she is getting ready to piddle or poo Dianne whisks her out to the front yard when Ginger dutifully does her deed. She has piddled inside four or five times but I doubt she has really pooed as yet. We had freezing rain last night and snow this morning and the inclement weather did not detour the dog and her rounds. Ginger is chewing now and I have to remember to pick up my leather bomber jacket off the floor or I will be the only one blame if Ginger finds the garment and thinks it’s her very own ”slim jim” meat product.

Shopping

15
Dianne’s birthday is Wednesday and looks like snow tonight and perhaps off and on the rest of the week. Ahead of the cold front this morning the day was warm and sunny so I figured I would get out, fill up on gas and see if what I might find for Dianne. Make good time during the warmer morning weather and save m having to get in the cold and wet tomorrow or afterward. Besides with Dianne’s Mom and sister coming in this week, I have sneaky feeling things are going to be moving pretty fast all week long. Besides I am finding doing “Dianne shopping” eases me into the terror of Christmas shopping which I will begin in earnest next weekend.
Today I hit the mall: Dillard’s, Macys, Nordstrom’s etc. It was not chaos yet but I could sense the frenzy building. I found a parking place right off—this was a good sign. I did the stare down of a definitely able-bodied driver camped out in an “designate” parking area. He had a parking placard in his window. But, I could tell it was granny’s or someone else’s. He had the look, kind of shifty, ready to move if anyone challenged him on parking where he was. I glared all the way down to the ground. I almost got dinged using the cross walk “Really Officer that wheelchair guy came out of nowhere!” Luckily they missed or I dodged just right. Next through the food court and minions of holiday eaters, “ Don’t forget to stare, old wheelchair guy coming through” Lots of green hair and spiked do’s, leather and spikes; looking hopelessly out of place as they shop for the “straights” their punked out lives. I suppose its cool to be the family rebel but even rebels have family who need shopping for.
I bet I was a bit of a shock as I powered my chair up an down the aisles and elevators of the high end shopping Mecca’s. I only got caught twice in clothes trees, almost knocking over some really nice leather trenchcoats. I actually looked at a sweater in Nordstrom’s $240.00! $240.00 for a flimsy looking red sweater and $90.00 for shoes one sale. I was getting overwhelmed fast. I actually saw a lady pick up three of the sweaters and she did not flinch. Wow, I was out of my league, man, do these guys know how to spend. I exited the big N and got back into the mall proper and caught my breath. I was back to the almost “normals” again. Younger couples pushing double strollers over to one of three Santa photo ops I saw in different parts of the mall; Packs of non-English speakers heading over to Footlocker or any one of a number of wireless phone kiosks which have sprouted up all through the mall like toxic toad stools then there were all the seniors( sort of like me) sitting on the benches throughout the mall looking tharn and lost and slowly becoming more invisible then they already feel. And I realized there is no longer a bookstore, that I could find, in my mall! There is a Borders across the street but I hardly classify Borders as a bookstore. Borders is just a big whatever Borders. But not to have a bookstore in a mall seems almost un-American or maybe not and that is scary in and of itself. The most outrageous thing I saw on my holiday warm up: the Cinnabun in the food court has been replaced with a mini-Gold’s Gym is that too funny or what.

Ginger

16

This is Ginger the new addition to the family. She's 8 weeks old and seems to be fitting in family nicely, a bit of separation anxiety but this is to be expected. Dianne picked Ginger out earlier this week and drove down to Price, Utah to get her. Dianne picked the same “Ginger” since the last pouch was Cinnamon Dianne wanted to keep with the spice motif. Ginger is basically house broken but has her moments. She has been doing her business out side on schedule. The pup shivers a lot but goes outside readily when offered. We have had her two nights now and she does “cry” a lot during the night but we have her sequestered in the front of the house thus her yelping and howling has not bothered me. The breeder told Dianne that Ginger will do this for the first couple of nights then she should settle down.

We were quite spoiled with Cinnamon, who was a bit older when we rescued Cinn off Death Row. Cinnamon was totally house broken and we never has problems with Cinnamon. In fact we were a bit spoiled Cinnamon . We are not trying to replace Cinnamon, we know we could never do that. Cinnamon was the perfect dog for us. However, we have missed not having a dog around and figured it was time to move on with another.

Anakah is over for the night and of course Anakah has fallen in love with Ginger and has taken on the role of prime caretaker. This is Anakah's first real experience with a puppy. Cinnamon overwhelmed Anakah there was always a level of fear toward Cinnamon that is not present with Ginger. Already Ginger has taken to following Anakah round and I am sure will sleep in the room with the dog tonight so I am hoping Ginger will cry less tonight letting everyone sleep a little bit better.

I Need Some Air

17

It’s Friday after noon and the state server just went down and I am coasting till going home time. I have a couple of hours still on the clock but I am just basically answering phones till 5:00 pm. Actually, under the “old” regime” I would be on my way home by now, having worked through a couple of lunches last week and this week. For some reason the new boss just does not like letting you go for “overtime” hours. If I pressed the issue with her I believe she would give me the time but I know she would not want to. I also feel strongly if I pressed the issue to “Hour and Wage” at the state level they would rule in my favor. Granted I sure do not wish to fill out all the over time business but it could be to my advantage since , as I understand the law if you do overtime work and elect to take time instead of dollars a worker can then be compensate a 1 ½ to 1 or gor every hour worked over you can then enjoy one and a half hours. So, I’ll have to see.

It’s a beautiful day outside. The inversion have moved in: warm air on top trapping the cooler air on the bottom. Almost 50 “sunshine” degrees outside, The sun feels great. The onlt draw back is the air is lethal, I am going to find ky surgical masks I have in the garage I use when I am sanding sticks, the masks will atleast strain the air and let scare the snot of folks who may be riding with me on the train. The air quality of this valley always sucks in the winter hut the quality really gets bad when an inversion is in place. I have herd of physicians selling the practices and relocating their families from the Wasatch front because the “soup” is so bad. I can see a haze over the city as I move round but it’s just hazy. It’s when you get up q couple of hundred feet like driving up the canyons and you physicially pass from one level to the ‘clean air “ zone that you can really perceive the difference; not only in clarity but in temperature. Sometimes it five to tn degrees warmer above the inversion. And being above the inversion you can look into the valley and just witness how filthy the air is.

I had to go to my Department of Determination Services (DDS) over lunch. A bit of a bore of a meeting but the Director always provides a good lunch and since I am Chair of this board I sort of have to be there. Luckily the DDS building is close to the train making the trip easy and fast. I get out of the office and get to ‘run ‘ the city a city. I hate to say it but the day is so beautiful; and so warm I started getting hints of Spring Fever. It’s not even technically Winter yet. Still have about a week and a half till Winter Solstice. Hen I can get the fever but not before.

Tomorrow I’ll introduce you all to Ginger, the newest addition to our family.

Heat

18

It sounds cliché but I was raised on a small farm and for the first two or three years we warmed the house with a small pot bellied stove burning wood and coal. We moved to the farm when I was six, so though I was small I had my chores which for the most part was bringing on the wood and coal for the stove. I think we moved to farm round 1956 or so. The stove was a step back from the house we had in the city with a fine furnace but this was a working farm with cows, chickens, space to grow and a pot bellied stove. I know it must sound strange but I never thought anything of the stove. I just figured this was how things went: you moved to the farm and got a wood burning stove. In a couple of years my dad built an addition onto the house which gave him space to insert a furnace. But, that is another story for another time.

My dad was a sheet metal worker: he installed, repaired heating and cooling systems in Boise, Idaho. In the mid fifties large pieces of machinery were often shipped in wood boxes; nice pieces of 1 x 4s of various lengths. The crates were knocked apart when the system arrives and thrown to the back of the shop yard where eventually the wood would be scrapped. That was till my dad asked for anf got salvage rights to the wood. Then once every two to three months my brother and I and my dad would drive the Studebaker truck down to the shop and finish knocking the crates apart and then load the wood and dive back to the farm. The downloaded the wood to what became a great wood heap between our garages.

We drove and yanked the nails from the wood and dad the cut the wood into eight to 12 inch lengths just right to fit inside the pot bellied stove. During this decade many coal burning furnace owners were converting to gas heat; pulling out their huge old Thor furnaces. In fact that is how we got the furnace which eventually replaced the pot bellied stove. Many times when the home converted to gas heat a coal remained and many times significant amounts of coal remained. The coal was no good to the new gas furnace owner and my dad would and nd he would receive the coal—which is another blog.

My job was to load huge ( for me) arm loads of wood and carry the wood into the house and stack the wood next to the stove. Carrying enough wood for the evening could be 10 or fifteen trips. I soon suppressed the Radio Flyer wagon and later the wheelbarrow into the job.

The little stove also burned coal. Dad would order a ton or more lump of coal or so from Zamzows and was dumped out in front of the wood pile; huge stones of black rock which required breaking with a ten pound sledge hammer to a size more amicable to the stove. Then dragging the coal in via the wagon or wheelbarrow. This coal would burn slower then the wood but still little more then coals the next morning but a few pieces of wood would soon bring the outside of the stove to a fiery red.

On cold days like today I think back on the old stove and long snowy Saturdays playing Finance or Monopoly, for hours, in front of the old fiery beast.

19

I got an email yesterday notifying one of my best friend’s father died. John was my best friend during grade school. We lived in a rural portion of South East Boise. We were pretty close and slept over at each other’s house every other weekend it seemed. In doing so it is hard not to incorporate or integrate the host’s family into your own in some weird way.

Mr. Cantrell was ten years younger then my dad. My dad seemed old to me in so many ways where as Mr. Cantrell seemed much younger. John seemed to know his dad much more intimately I thought I would never know mine. Mr Cantrell had served in the Navy during World War two and this was a big deal to me. I did not know anyone else who had (that I was aware of). Mr.Cantrell worked for Idaho power, he was a lineman—he wore a hard hat drove this gigantic IP truck and smoked a pipe.

Sitting here trying to remember conversation I had with Mr Cantrell, I cannot except one at the breakfast table one Saturday morning. Mrs. C had serves up a huge breakfast of scambled eggs, bacon and toast. We weren’t allowed to eat bacon in my home ( a long story I will someday write but suffice it to say,our house lived a lot of the Messianic order). In fact, that was one of the great parts of a Cantrell sleep over was the high probably of having pork in one form or another. The Cantrells had six kids and we were in the middle so we usually just sort of blended in with the other. Any way this specific instance I was reaching for some perfectly done bacon and Mr. C. stated that he thought mormons could not eat bacon. I was stunned –I, of course, knew this but did not think Dr. C. did. I was caught, he knew but how? There were other moments of conversations but they are a blur now to be lost to antiquity.

One of the most vivid memories I have of Mr. Cantrell is of him sitting in his big green. Easy boy recliner. I would be laying on the floor next to John, on a Friday night, watching what ever was on their color TV. Don with his chores Mr Cantrell sat back in his chair, shoes off, and would select of his five or so pipes( which sat in a pipe stand right next to his chair) ritualistically fill, tap and light. Once he had a fine bowel lit he would puff seemingly giant blue clouds of smoke. This fascinated me.

Even if I had ever had the time or opportunity I don’t know if I would have asked Mr Cantrell the questions I would have wanted to like: What did you do during the war? How did you get to Boise? Did you always work for Idaho Power. What did you want to do growing up? Hopefully John orTom has all that information and I will get out of them someday if it is important enough to me.

The e-mail was from Tom, John’s older brother, I appreciate the notification. Tom indicated about his dad“ he had a good run” and I think he did. I wished I lived closer to Boise I would attend the funeral as they attended my Dad’s. I just hate to see the old ones go.

20 and Counting

Twenty days before Christmas—in the Daily Statesman the newspaper I grew up, with the paper would being their Christmas countdown: a cartoon in the bottom corner revealing how many days were left before the holiday. This count down drove me crazy with desire as I noted each day closer. The days would drag on to what seemed to me eternities. Now, there don’t seem to be enough days t get down what I need to before the event. I also have to admit I am also coping out and will default to the ubiquitous gift card. I hate thinking of myself lowering my standards to gift cards. Gauche little rectangle shards of plastic with an embedded chip which can be electronically charged with a value of worth for a person I love enough to send the very least! Oh, forgive me dear children for I have wondered so far from the gifting path. I thought I was slipping when I was sending books, slick paper backed pieces of literature and some times a 5 or 10 dollar bill for a book mark. I like t think of myself so busy as not to have time to shop, with enough lead time to purchase the gift, wrap and post well before the holiday. What happens to me is that I suddenly sense it’s December and low I am about of time.

What I am sorry to say is the real issue for me is that I am so out of touch with those I love I do not know how to gift them. I do not know what they are reading or if they are reading let alone any type of shoe or garment. What kind of music do they listen to, or do they have the music already. Do the need media would they use media. Do you gift them individually or with spouse and family and what if they are fighting will they keep their union together till after the holidays. Do they want meals, or heels groceries or wash soap. Maybe a ham would do or a turkey too…then I am left with why don’t I just send money and I believe that form of gifting is the worst gift of all—but maybe it’s all they want.

I used to love the packages. We always had a tree when I was growing up and with seven kids home all at once there were tons of gifts under the tree. When the tree would be lit up and all the lights in the room turned off I would lay there on the rug and dream about what was inside the wonderfully colored boxes. Never mind that I rarely received what I exactly wanted. But I think I would have been more disappointed if I just got an envelope of money and that was that. Even the pencils and pens and had knit scarves and gloves from my dad’s side of the family, the Canadians, which were placed in the drawer and finally used sometimes months after the gifts were opened.

Maybe I am just cheap, maybe I want to spend as little as possible but still be precieved as a fine guy. Maybe I still need to learn the lesson in my heart- the gift is the symbol of your love. Do not be afraid to give =do not be afraid to love..

Birthday!

It’s my number two son’s birthday today, Brooks. Brooks came into my life fourteen years ago when I married his mother. I am so fortunate in that my “step” (I really dislike this term)kids are so terrific. Brooks has always been Mr Action/Mr Cool, with a natural propensity to sports. We as a family enjoyed Brooks play base ball, roller blade and fantasize about paintball. Brooks enjoyed organized sports in ways I have never been able. I was spared having to go to any local ballgames but I have to admit I did get in to going to the local hockey games when Salt Lake got a pro team and arena. Actually, when we first starting attending the hockey games the games were being played at the Old Delta Center. This was my first exposure to professional sports on an on going bases. Brooks patiently explained the game to me more then one times It as the Golden Eagles then the Grizzlies. We got free tickets in those days through the place I worked.

In a perfect world Brooks would first be a military guy of one sort or another and then after that he would be a cop. In fact Brooks favorite Saturday show has always been Cops. However, Brooks loves medicine or the blood and excitement surrounding emergency medicine. But due to injuries and other disabilities this like of work has not been an option. Brooks’best friend is a little guy named Luke. Luke lived in our neighborhood when we moved to Murray years ago. The two boys linked up ad have always been close. In fact Lukes family sort of adopted Brooks. Luke’s immediate family is small but Luke is part of a huge extended family. I think Brooks loves that feeling of connectivity he gets with their fam. Luke’s family has a tradition called the “Opener” a multi-day event where the men father together and for to their deer hunt. I don’t know if they own the property or have just camped there for so long they might as well ( I could be getting this event confused with Fishing seson) and what ensues is a massivie family party. Lots of booze, connecting and story telling and I suppose some of the sport they gathered for in the first place. Luke and brooks became cooks at the Noodle a cutesy family restaurant. Brooks worked weekends and filled in weeknights if needed. The Noodle was Brooks first real job, he did OK. Brooks sells insurance now and seems to be doing well at this occupation too.Brooks is young and busy and we do not see as much of the lad as we would like. Brooks has been great about being round for the big events, Mother day, Christmas and the like.

Brooks is a good son and a good uncle to his niece, Anakah Brooks has health challenges which worry parents but he seems to be getting by. He is twenty-five years old today. We will be going to the Lobster tonight as is the tradition. It will be a fast dinner with Dianne and me and his sister and her family; just touching the bases checking off the milestones.

Sunday Musings

My sister is still in town and when the phone range this morning I thought it might be her wanting to do breakfast of something. I have not seen her on this visit do I was kinds of waiting for the call. Linda was down to visit with mom. I figured mom took priority and that is cool. I figured also that if Linda wanted to or had the energy to make contact she would.

Realize, I am the only one up and I am working in the computer room inn the far side of the house. So, I am tearing through the house with just my towel on trying desperately to get to the phone before that final ring sends the caller to the message graveyard. However I lucked out and when I picked the phone up I was greeted by the voice of the Sears computer asking me to hold for a very important message about our appliances. I thought about hanging up but decided to hold on and see what the pitch was.

Sears is just round the corner and up the street from us and we have purchased most of our appliances from Sears. I hate the pressure I get from the sales guy to purchase the maintenance package. There is always the point of terror in the back mind of the “what if”. I used to never buy the packages and I rarely had any issues with the products but a couple of times I have been stung of pretty bad. Now, Dianne always buys the maintenance package and this has saved our bacon more then a couple of times over the years we have been together and I have learned from her. Still, I dislike the pressure and the Sunday morning call. I purchase the smallest package I can get away with or I defer to Dianne and that is what I did this morning. The Yahoo wanted to sell me a package which would bring everyone of our appliances up to date and have them end at the same time all for $770.00!! What a joke. They even included the lawnmower—which is about on it’s last wheels. The appliance warranties are quite staggered and are fifty bucks here a hundred there but nicely staggered over a couple of years. I think if we keep the appliance warranties staggered this way we will more likely have funding to renew (a year at a time) when the time comes. I told him to call back in two weeks which I am sure he ram-jetted back into the computer somewhere. Silently there is a clock ticking in some server at Sears central patiently waiting for Sunday morning two weeks from today, when at the appointed minute the servers will kick out my number and the system will dial my phone. I am making a not to myself—maybe I’ll even put the note on my computers internal log to remind me to take the hand set to bed with us two weeks from last night, put the handset between our pillows and quietly let Dianne answer the phone…