It's Time to Go

It's time to go, I've been here a long time almost 100 days. Time days in minutes is what they keep track of here at the Cascades very closely. Everything revolves around how many minutes of therapy you have during the day and how many days total you been allocated for your stay during rehabilitation and in my case that's 100 days.

I have to confess I'm beginning to suffer a little separation anxiety as I get closer to the end of my stay. Some of that anxiety comes from how this is all going to turn out and just how am I going to transition from this facility to the next. At the end of last week I made contact, or rather the social worker here made contact with Intermountain Medical Center rehab center where I hope to end up. I'm a little concerned in that I have to go through an interview process to ascertain whether I am an appropriate placement this kind of freaks me out but it's the way the process goes and so that's the way it is. I am also concerned because as of today, Tuesday, I have not yet heard back from IMC which I think I should have by now specially with the end of my stay at the Cascades zooming right up. The second issue I'm concerned about is that Dianne is gone to California right now with the kids for a short vacation which she certainly deserves. If I don't make it in time to the next facility and Dianne is not back to the house which means I need to stay at the house on my own. This would be for just one day or so or until they get back. This should not be a trauma and it isn't just a little concerning I just don't know how smoothly this is going to flow and am I going to transition back into my home at the end of this whole thing.

I am a little concerned at how anxious I am to return home. If I knew it was a guarantee that I'll be able to get on with my life without all the financial stress and trauma that would be one thing. I don't have that feeling of security because if I can't take care of myself it means we will be thrown back into home health care which frankly we cannot afford, does that mean I then am faced with long term care? what has been good about this day at the CasAcades is that I can face long term care I am nursing home and survive. I doubt I would get any kind of facility is nice as the Cascades has been but still I think I could manage such an institution / system if that is all I can do. Living here has been quite easy and even though I've had to deal with being away from Dianne and the house and all my things being here has been ok and in some cases enjoyable. I am in the place so I have my meals prepared for me, I have someone that gets me up in the morning and throws me to bed at night and likes me and does it happily or it seems that way. Someone actually cleans my room and helps me whenever I need it. I don't know if I could trade everything I have for such a situation but it probably could and at least I know I can survive sad as that would be. it is a shame everything always comes down to money.

So it's just now me and my room contemplate wale be like not to be here any longer. I will need start packing my room making decisions and hopefully find a place to go in just a couple more days