Ambivalence

 

I chose to stay in today. My odometer doesn't even read a mile that I've gone and that's okay by me. It's cold and it's yucky outside and I really didn't have anywhere to go. When I went to bed last night I was really seriously thinking of heading back to the credit union this morning and pulling out another hundred dollars just because I could and just to tide me over to tide me over until cards come. Right now, just because I put away loose change I had before I went to the bank yesterday, I have about $14 to my person – – not counting the two rows of quarters – –. So this morning I got to thinking what I need the cash for? Having the hundred dollars in cash would certainly give me a level of comfort that if I needed to I could purchase what I needed. But I don't need anything as I've gone over and over again in this blog. Between what's in my cupboards including the pantry and in the frozen section of the refrigerator I'm doing just fine. Oh it be nice to have a steak or roast but it wouldn't be worth getting dressed up on a day like today just to buy something to eat. My mystery friend dropped off another load of food last night as a matter of fact grapes, the little round cheeses with crackers, romaine lettuce cherry tomatoes even fixings for bean burritos. I'm going to have to tell her to stop bringing over such treats. I kind of think she is actually splitting her groceries with me. I think she buys in such quantities that she cannot eat what you purchases by yourself in that way she's allowed to share. And I will take it no question but I doubt I have anything to give.

Now, I'm sure the steady reader is actually seeing through my macho exterior. And knows the real reason I did not saddle up and go out to the bank this morning was because I don't want to lose another hundred dollars! Seriously, I really am afraid if I were to get another hundred dollars for the credit union I would lose it too. I'm sure I can intellectualize my way out of this if I want to go through that much trouble. I'm kind of putting my life on hold until these cards arrive. I can't believe how much power of giving these two pieces of plastic. Which as a matter of fact I need to get on the ball and call all my creditors that I have cards linked to my account which pulls out payment monthly. Netflix is already contacted me as well as consumer cellular. Consumer cellular was very gracious about given me till the end of February (which I won't need but it's nice to know). Netflix is not said anything but a better contact them because they might just send it to collections. When I was talking to the consumer cellular person she indicated had we not talked the most likely would've sent to collections had I not told them what was going on. So, that's on my agenda for tomorrow if I don't go out and get 100 bucks.