Oops In The Night

 

I lived at this apartment for almost 5 years now quite amazing. In all that time I think I've dropped the hang control to my bed three times. The last two months it has been the three times. One of those times it was getting close to 7 AM . I suppose if I go any further I should illustrate to you what I'm talking about. When I got home from my spinal stenosis operation Dianne had purchased a mechanical bed I suppose is another name for it is better but it was the electric bed that had a number of functions actually raising up and down mattress as well as the foot of the bed raising as well as the head of the bed raising. And as I indicated, the mattress itself will raise from a low position may be 8 inches temperatures high to the height position. This was not by design but because of the ability of this bad I've been able to live independently for the past five years. Essentially I can lower the bad enough in the evening to roll into the bed at night time and then in the morning I can raise the mattress high enough to where I can actually “fall”into my power chair. This hand controls vital to me being able to do these things in it for some reason I can't access the controls I'm dead in my bed.

This morning I actually dropped the controls twice and was lucky enough to be able to use my long hook up the controls and the second time I had the mattress down the floor level and I could actually reach of the bed far enough to grab the controls by hand and save my day. No having to call one of my neighbors, family member or worst-case scenario the Taylorsville fire department. Once again my paranoia begins to bubble up when I start thinking about how difficult it is for me to make this transfer particularly with the new chair. It's hard enough at 70 what is it going to be at 71 and beyond? Paranoia gets worse when I think of how attending my kids are become. Remember I wrote a couple weeks ago about hi sorry got the impression from my brother my older brother about his indication that “there are living situations where you could get help if you needed it”. Of course I didn't have the balls to ask him as he tired of helping me and should not call them anymore. I did not do that and sadly I have begin to really watch what I would ask him to do for me just for that very reason. This morning as I was fishing the hang controls for the bed off the floor for a second time I began to fantasize what I would do when Mark Anthony or Michelle asks me should I consider long-term care or when will I consider long-term care? The kindest with this morning as I was pondering these scenarios but filtered through the light of day may be is not so bad and their honest questions and probably more important than that are questions that need to be asked and how my going to respond when the time comes. My knee-jerk reaction is that I want to stay independent living by myself with as much help as I can forward for as long as I can. I don't know what the answer is and I hope I will know when the time comes.…