Frankly Friday

I'm sitting here patiently waiting for my second wind to get here. Right now I'm feeling totally exhausted but I also know there's also a period of time that comes if I can wait it out that I'll get my energy back at least part of it- - hopefully enough to get me into bed.

I've been a little concerned over the past couple of months about how much I tend to be sleeping these days or maybe just how tired I seem to be. It seems by the time the evening gets here I'm just worn out. Luckily there's not a lot that I need to do after a certain point in time of the day but still I don't feel I should be this tired. I also have noted that continue to wake up fairly early- - even for me. This morning I woke up around 3:00 a.m. again and not really getting back to sleep which is about what happened yesterday as well. Things that I have learned over the past couple of years kind of give me hope or at least acceptance to the fact that there may not be anything wrong with me except the fact that I've lived a long time I'm unequivocally old. I remember having coffee with some of the residents here at the apartment complex and them indicating that they were going to bed soon after our coffee for a small nap and it's around 8:00 9:00 in the morning that we are having this discussion. I realized then that that's how these old folks are getting through the day. I remember now how my dad always seem to be taking a nap even before he was “old”. I always thought it was because he worked as hard as he did and that he was up early for his morning chores around the farm as well as getting on to work. Then a few days ago I received a message / text for my old friend John who is my age. He made mention to the fact that he pretty much enjoyed his life these days he said he was spending his time reading and napping. That really struck me John was actually taking short naps to get through the day. What a revelation. I'm beginning to think that I am just where I need to be in my life and not be ashamed or too concerned about where I'm at.

Perhaps it was the fact that I didn't wear a hat today and I was significantly out in the sun. After my caregiver left this morning and I've gotten a little bit of breakfast I was still a little antsy and I checked out the new movies. There was one offering that looked fairly interesting called sketch. I wasn't sure if I waited for the bus if I would be on time enough to catch the beginning of the movie. So I decided I would just drive up to the theater which I did. Contrary to believe it's not easy to Traverse significant distances in a power chair. I'm certainly pleased in appreciative of the fact that I can but it still is quite aware on the old body as well as the chair. But I made it I got to the movie way before the start and I beat the bus but perhaps the extended wheelchair trip also wore me out and now I'm looking forward to an early bedtime but remember if I go to bed early I get up early and am I defeating myself…?