Inadequate me

 It is past 9:00 in the evening and I still have not hung up my shirts from this week's laundry/ wash. Was able to get the shorts folded but as yet have not had the time already drive to hang the shirts. I got sidetracked but I have phone call that brought back a major portion of my weaknesses. One weakness in particular is my messiness are my lack of being able to put order on my existence. I lost a piece of mail a few weeks ago and frighteningly I cannot find it it's important that I do. I've torn this little apartment apart look high and low and yet cannot find the documents that I need to get my hands on. What really worries me is that I may have thrown the documents and question away because I thought I'd already gleaned what is important from this piece of mail and rather than keep it just floating around the apartment adding to my chaos I threw the documents away. I hope that I did not but something noodles in the back of my mind saying that perhaps I have and I don't know how this can be resolved. Hopefully, there is a resolution it may not be for my end maybe from somebody else's end who has much more Focus and drive than I do. I hope that's the case, I pray that's the case. But once again tomorrow feeling totally inadequate, unable to see myself as an adult and find good solutions on my own. This may not be something I will acquire in this life and possibly hopefully might be able to be attainable in the next if there is such an option. I've come to the conclusion that this life is nothing but a path failed test if you fail the test you will get the test again, and again, and again until you get the test right then you move on to the next level. This is suspicion I have nothing to conclude that that is the way things are except that s keeps happening to me over and over again. Have not got this solution correct on a continuing basis yet but hopefully I will.

I apologize I would really like to give you a full 500 Words tonight but I just had feeling too inadequate to come up with anything usable at all Plus I don't want to be up all night fretting about hanging up my shirts and putting away my shorts…