Just Like Humans

Yeah, I am still in my cooking phase. Way into my cooking Chinese phase so much so I happily volunteer to go shopping at the Walmart not far from our house. This is an embarrassing thing to admit, let alone write about: I am an elitist there I have said it…I think I may have ‘dancing’ round the edges before but I AM AN ELITIST. I am not proud of the fact but it true. Not in every thing-I mean I certainly know limits and bounds and I know where I fit in on the social scale of life but I cannot help but observe and point out the weakness’ I see in those all round me at Walmart.

Of course, my disgust starts as I enter the parking area and I start ‘sharking’ for a parking place. I admit I use the ‘designated’ parking areas, you know the “handicapped parking spaces. I have been trained well, I now where I belong and I always gravitate towards what is believed is the best parking spaces in the lot. But, of course, there are non-available. There see filled with everything from motor cycles to high end sport vehicles, you know ‘four on the floor’ and beyond, requiring not only to good feet but two very good feet to operate. There ‘granny’ cars and ‘fat guy’ cars all with designated parking plates they conned or bribed their MD’s to acquire. We shark till we see a tennis star packing up and get ready to leave and we park right behind him and wait for him to leave, backing up traffic behind us for yard and yards till we pull in and stake our claim. Dianne heads in and I download my self snarking at all the other ‘designated’ plates ho wanted my spot. I zip in and catch up with Dianne who as already grabbed a shopping cart . I grabbed a shopping basket for my lap. As we head over to the deli to grab a fast lunch I pass this bald headed, white and shirt and tied, little hemiplegic who job as I can tell is to collect errant shopping carts and drag and push them back cart corral. It’s too bad hemi’s cannot be super-crips cause this little guy could be one. He handles the carts like a dog named “Fly” at the International Sheep Dog Trials. I watched him for a couple of minutes and became exhausted. I cannot image how he feels at the end of the day.

Walmart is an interesting study of humanity. Since Walmart has the lowest prices anywhere the star draws everyone in. It’s like a fairy-land in there. There’re fairy god mothers—shopping for their grand children, and hosts of urchins masquerading as pixies and elvs wondering aimless in the toy and candy aisles devising schemes and plans of to trick their handlers in to purchasing what ever treat they have set their desires on. And I am always amazed at the amount of trolls who have abandoned their bridges to spend the day at Walmart. Fat, Slovene humans wearing tank tops and cut-offs which should be illegal to be seen in public. Then there are hosts of fairy princes in tank tops and short shorts chatting eternally on cell phone or texting, texting and texting, chewing gum and looking round to make sure they’re being noticed.

But today, I barely notice the hords, I am on a quest to get vegetables, peanut oil and other items I will need for my cooking fetish. I power my chair up and down the produce aisles. Oblivious to the strange and bizarre round me as I am sure the are oblivious to me and my weird body shopping just like a human.