Retirement Week I

It's Saturday night, the first Saturday night of my retirement and I would like to think this week would be somewhat reflective of what my week will be like-- but this is not the case. This was a holiday week meaning I did not have to go into work on Monday, also this past week was also a transition week. The week was taken up doing activities I would normally not be doing. I was called earlier in the week by the University medical center wanting to know if I have followed through with meeting with the cardiologist about the pericardial cyst which popped up on one of the pictures of my chest way back in November. I was freaked out when this was first brought to my attention before the holidays and was freaked out again when this was brought to my attention last week. But, made the appointment and got into cardiology first the week.

On Tuesday I met with Dr. Frederick Sheen, an ancient cardiologist working at the University medical center. I had taken the train of course up to the University, the day was a good day for traveling out on the tarmac. I got in the office, got myself squared away and waited for the good doctor. As I indicated Dr. Sheen was ancient, he'd been practicing medicine since 1965 and he looked it. He looked at me strangely asking if I was at the clinic today because of dizziness, palpitations and other indicators of heart involvement. I looked shocked, shook my head that I felt quite good all things being equal. Dr. Sheen looked bewildered but continued with evaluation. Dr. Sheen like a Shaolin priest, I could tell, this guy knew everything,his movements were slow and measured, his eyes clear saw every thing. We chatted I could tell he was impressed with the fact that I have been disabled as long as he practiced medicine amazing. Again he expressed bewilderment, why was I there if I was not feeling any kind of cardiac stress or distress. I told him I think my managing doc just wanted cover the bases—he nodded understanding but he did not seem to be in agreement that I needed to be there today. The day ended with me making an appointment for an echocardiogram. I would've liked to have gotten it that very day but of course there was nothing often so I was scheduled for two o'clock the next day another trip into the city.

Thursday was much cooler than Tuesday had been, snow had fallen during the evening but was not a problem. I missed my first bus and waited a while for my bus to come and it did and I got into the hospital and in good time. I actually ordered a salad with sesame seed sticks. So it was huge with all the good things I really do need to eat like this more often.

Cardiology was busy as I rolled in but I was taken right in since I had been there just the day before, all my paperwork was done, I was directed to a room filled with equipment to measure heart function and there I waited till a young Justin showed up. I was pleased that I did not have to transfer from my chair. Now I have been aware for years that I have a pretty significant scoliosis. I really don't think about the scoliosis much except that is beginning to get in the way of some of my ADLs like putting on my pants and shoes. Well, young Justin was having a problem and left the room returning a few minutes later with another tech was always with older and more experienced. I found out then the issue of the day was the technician could not find my heart! It seems my scoliosis has gotten so severe it is pushed my cardiac sac way over to the right side of my chest. It was obvious that the technicians were having difficulties in imaging my heart. They even introduced a solution that was supposed to enhance imaging, that really didn't work. The technicians finally gave up hoping what they did capture would be enough to satisfy Dr. Sheen and in turn Dr. Rosenbluth. The important part to me was that Dr. Sheen, the ancient cardiologist, did not seem worried. In fact it's he seemed still confused why was even there. But I'm touching all the bases and touching these bases really took the whole week so it's not a real good indication of my first week into retirement. We'll see next week when a report on my second week of retirement

What To Do??

It's not a bad Sunday for the first Sunday in my retirement life—I just have not done anything productive except get up and get dressed. We were going to go out and do some shopping for groceries and other things but sort of run out of energy as we put together our chicken salad sandwiches. I'm glad we at least made the sandwiches from chicken we froze last week. Was pretty happy to use the new rocker knives Dianne ordered for me a couple weeks ago. The knives are small but I think I will enjoy food preparation with these devices.

Interesting, the more sleep I am getting the less clouded I am regarding my life in retirement. I'm beginning to think of things I might be able to do and feel excited about doing these things. Things like doing more interview shows for the Internet. I really still want to do the interviews: “the gimp on the street” interviews along that same line the interviews with notable people with disabilities. I still feel them passion with this concept people with disabilities were just living their lives successfully, quietly but remarkably. I would not necessarily do the” super crips” but would not necessarily shy away from doing that interview because the individual was a “supercrip”because oddly enough many of those I deem “ super crip” are pretty damn interesting people. So this group of interviews would be with people in my life. I was wondering if I could do this with individuals for say U D D C interviewing various individuals with developmental disabilities in Utah or develop a similar project focusing on positive closers of U S O R clients. I just don't know how I would sell this to the various people who would have the money to pay for such project. Yes, I do want to charge something for this or I want to get something out of this or project like this. This may be I can do something for trade. I was thinking possibly interviewing people for specific DME provider I. E. Magic rest medical, Peterson medical, or similar operation. The just seems to be so many places I could take this concept if I could sell the idea to the rightful. Anyway, this thinking was enough to encourage me into believing retirement may not be as bad as I might have anticipated. Still, I have not really experienced retirement per se but with it being the middle of a holiday weekend will have to see what happens come Tuesday.

The course there is the old standbys once the weather warms a little dries out I plan to get back to the garage and redevelop my hook project, or put together my best pieces of poetry and develop a book and see if I can get V S A to publish it and finally to work on my “Burros of the Apocalypse” project. So I have things I can do and I have the rest of my life to do these things if I can just keep my focus. Keeping my focus now that's what's really scary.

Done!

I'm done, so ends the week, the last week of my work life ended yesterday at 4:30 pm, actually a little later because I got caught working the phones later then I wanted to on my last night at work. I don't know why but it seemed most of the operators were gone yesterday afternoon. The whole day seemed weird--I don't know why, maybe because yesterday WAS my last day.

I started the day like any other workday, dragging  myself out of bed, shaving my head and face making my burrito and noodle breakfast, getting dressed and heading out the door for my bus. I of course stopped at Starbucks and said my farewells and got my Friday latte, this one free because
today  was my last, day/week.  211 was 211 and phone calls, regular calls--lunch was ordered from China Chow my order of beef and  vegetable was good, I guess it was good-- it was just the 211 staff at first then a chocolate cake was introduced and the rest of the United Way staff wondered into the room for cake. There were a few comments of this an that bout me leaving but not many. I am thinking maybe because I am not really leaving, I am coming back on Mondays to volunteer and so it was not good bye just "bye" until later. It feels weird, I get a call late in my last "real" shift, I had not had the time I wanted go clean and arrange my work space, it did not happen. I basically left it. Delys cleaned my space a little and Liz said good bye till next week when I come back, a week from holiday Monday and that was that. Amy, the boss, had left earlier and said good bye and left, I was late for my train so I zoomed out and was gone. I of course missed my train and was running very late.

Dianne was waiting for me patiently when my train pulled in with the van open and the lift deployed--she wanted to go to dinner, a steak dinner, but needed to get home to my accessible  bathroom. I killed the night. we watched recorded movies and television for the rest of the evening. A quiet night for a strange, last day.

Like War…

The snow was falling today and winter still grips the Salt Lake Valley firmly and squeezes its residents yet this last week I felt the first rumblings of a far offspring, spring which will be like no other spring to me in my 62^nd year. But the snow is falling today and cold days are forecast for all next week. I must be patient the spring will come. Of course, today is Saturday and I'm off for the weekend but I took two days of annual because I thought I would lose them if I did not. I found out that I would not lost these days but decide to go ahead and take the days after Liz e-mailed me that the days were approved so yesterday, Friday I was off and I shall be off next Monday as well. Next week is my last week on the state clock at 211. This is where and perhaps I'll get into more of that later.

I'm a little spooked with retirement afraid I will lose ambition to do anything so I used or I'm going to use these two days of Annual as a dry run to my days retirement. I have had a task on my shoulders for the past couple of months and that was I needed to replace my Social Security card lost somewhere in the last couple decades. It seems I really do need to have access to my Social Security card for a host of reasons and one of the is to formally access pistol retirement gig. So I figured one of the things I would do yesterday was to get my Social Security card, or at least begin the process.

I felt good, dressed in bundled up as I left the house for my adventure in the community. I was in my power chair which meant I was on public transit which is okay, I had the time and the commitment. I stopped in at the bank cashed my second to last mileage check and headed to Social Security and our community. Now this was taken very little time had I just driven over there in my power chair but quite honestly a little scared that I would not have enough juice in the chair to make it over there back so decided to use the bus to go the short distance. This should have been a short distance short time trip but that was not a short trip, of course. And having to go to the bus station take the train back one stop and get on another busand then go forward to the intersection close the Social Security. The day was relatively warm at times, when the sun would break through and I just reclined my chair,listen to NPR, and waited. 45 min. later I was at the Murray office of Social Security Administration. I don't know what I was thinking but was blown away when I open the door and rolled inside. There were masses of people all over the office. Asians, Mexicans, Anglos, lower-class, middle-class and upper-class. Much like the DMV everyone had to go to Social Security Administration sooner or later. There was a number machine I have fast food joints are you pick the ticket and wait for your meal to be served and you have to pick up when your number is called. So to the Social Security administration my number was 299 and Social Security serving was 250 or something like that but I got there. I was okay just more waiting I can do this. I was a little uneasy because my energy level indicator on my wheelchair was in the showing low power levels and I didn't know if I was able to give back or not to import of origin. Luckily I always go with my traveling battery charger. The mass of people in this public service agency was pretty much shepherded by one individual with a gun on his hip a young baldheaded, nice-looking Rent-A- cop who kept eyeing over the population. Any time the mass would search in front of the front doors he would walk over us sure shoo them away should– – he even escorted anyone using their cell phone. That was the first time I'd seen anything like that, a cell phone? I guess I had some to do a security should be thankful.

You know he said with a group of people long enough you become identified with that group even though you would rather not be. So in my group there was a young lady looking terribly out of place, to individuals what looked like a mom and her old teenage daughter who I assume was from the west side – – they had that look in the mom was a motormouth talking bad about friends family situations happening in her universe. She must've been in her late 40s probably cute one time it snowed like an attractive door stop at a blue-collar bar. Behind me they were to guys, older wearing nice casual close who was obvious had not known each other until their meeting at Social Security. The right the Republicans are Utah Democrats who spent hours waiting swapping work stories and bemoaning the number of minority folks in the room. I then found the plug-in I could reach sat a few feet away from the bathroom door. The bad thing about my handy dandy charger is that it charges a very slow rate but still charges and eventually charged enough to save my life.

Like war waiting at the Social Security office is characterized by long periods of waiting punctuated by brief moments of bureaucratic chaos and so it was when I was called to the service window. I was just happy I was close to being done. The woman behind the desk was very nice, overweight, a true bureaucrat servicing the masses, she reminded me of my job but I use the telephone she has to actually talk to people face-to-face, the same people I know who call me day in and day out. At least I don't have to have an armed guard wandering around shooting people away from the front door. The lady bureaucrat dressed in blue admired my notebook and told me about her new Kindle and we shared a moment of electronic bliss – – we shared 5 min. and I was processed out with the receipt saying I would have my new card in two weeks. Not yet quite retired but get the feeling of how things are going to be...

Tick Tock

Blog February 3, 2013

I really meant to get this posted yesterday and but hey, i was my birthday, what can I say? It's not like we did anything huge—Dianne was all up to going out every couple meals but just couldn't get excited about anything. Dianne made me a great breakfast of baking soda biscuits, bacon and eggs great coffee and toast. The breakfast recognition was really all I needed. I received many salutations of the day from family and friends on Facebook and my older brother Ross actually called. I was pleased and surprised. Ross even sent the card with 20 bucks taped to the inside. Now, this is amazing behavior and I'm really impressed not only getting a card, writing out the message, and affixing a $20 bill and then posting the whole thing to get to be by my birthday, quite frankly I am blown away but extremely pleased. We seem to be building a closer relationship as we age and that is very interesting. We spent the rest of the day watching recorded movies and a couple of DVDs. It was a nice day.

Retirement which is been distant, very unreal, point my calendar up until yesterday has now become very real by turning 62 retirement clock is really began taking. Have less than two weeks now show up for work, answer phones and help people on a regular basis. Even though I have agreed to volunteer once a week I know that once I have separated from the State things will be different. I don't know how I just know things will be different. I'll be more of a guest at 211. I assume I'll continue with my friendships especially in my close pod but even those relationships will change as I come in less and less. No one volunteers for ever and I doubt I would ever work for 211 as a regular Joe. 211 Is Changing Way too fast becoming corporate way to corporate for even me to work for especially for money. I just don't need that kind of stress if I can avoid it especially at this point in my life.

February 16 is a Monday the first Monday of my retirement and I plan to work by first volunteer shift that day but what will I do on Tuesday, Wednesday and the rest of the days. Oh I think thefirst week, month will be busy and therefore I will not have to worry too much about what to do with my time, my days my life. I think I have to have something to do every day: structure. I can see myself passing away my life if I don't be careful. I want to write, now I will have time to write. I want to sketch, draw and paint now I will have time to sketch draw and paint. I want to work on my woood and now I will have time to work on my wood. Perhaps most of all I want to work on my physical condition you know loose the weight, add some muscle and become more independent. So I will have to wait for the novelty to wear off and then kick my life into care and structure the rest of my life. I know I can do this just keep tuned to see how