Just Passing Through

 

I think I might be passing through one of those “defining” moments of life. You know something that changes how you live your life from that point on. In my case what's happening right now is not a exact moment in time so much as a group of moments in time showing me that I really am not a Superman and that, I'm as mortal as any man. I know, I hate to write that, because it certainly puts me in my place as a mortal being without a the great illusions of living eternally . So rather than a great lightning bolt which means change I'm passing through multiple gun salute and that might be as bright as it gets Where in the end will show me that I'm ready to enter another phase of mortal life (now don't have an go get upset about Mark talking about the endgame in life ending stuff) but entering into what I call the endgame that preparation. I guess we lucky ones get the tie off loose ends of ends the loose and everyone has loose ends the function of life. I'm not really any better right now that I've been all week I don't necessarily think I'm any worse but I also know, I am no better either things have to change. Today I made contact with Salt Lake County aging services which runs a van service for medical issues. Plus service aimed for senior Salt Lake County residents to meet some of the needs of the community. I did the whole process on the phone which I thought was great. I went through the whole intake process with “Julie”. And now I'm set as soon as I'm allowed in. I guess there's some guys don't make it .And I don't know yet until they call me which should be a couple of days. The big important thing about this is that I'll be able to use the transportation function which is a van service to medical and governmental appointments for senior citizens – – one of which am I. So provided that I am selected or approved then within two weeks notice of a medical appointment these guys will pick me up and take me to the appointment and then return me at its end.You know the whole government control thing that's okay” there it can be really beneficial to me as I get through this change. I'm not the young person I used to be climbing on buses, going to strikes and being generally obnoxious. Now I'm just generally old and obnoxious and that's okay to its all part of the change.

Not wobbling everything on this power chair with the issues that it has – – and I really believe this had something to do with my present situation. Because now on top of the issues with bladder control I'm struggling with the possibility of pressure sores or whatever. To make matters worse yesterday or maybe it was Saturday I look down and somehow I had done something dramatic to my big toe, on my right foot. Only reason I even noticed was the pool blood on the floor the bathroom and even then I couldn't find where I was bleeding – – that had to be me or my blood because I was the only one in the bathroom. I was the only one in the apartment for that matter. And then I've noticed last day or two a big black dot on my toll and I haven't paid much attention to it until this afternoon when I visited my friend Billie she indicated that it was infected which I really did not want to hear on top of everything else that's going wrong with me. But she said they looked infected in could be swollen I was in denial on both counts but I've been thinking about situation ever since since and Now I'm becoming a bit paranoid. Wouldn't it be weird to be taken out by a big toll it went septic? Happy face.