Tuesday's worries

 

I'm really trying not to get spooked about my present situation, physically. I totally understand that I'm aging and I'm trying to age in place the best that I can. At the present time I'm a long way from being totally independent but at the same time I'm a long ways from being committed to the long-term care as far as I'm concerned. Having said that I must confess this morning it took me a couple hours to get dressed and I think primarily because I didn't have anywhere to go. I know that sounds stupid but it's true usually on Tuesday mornings I have my assist meeting in downtown Salt Lake. I have to be dressed and out the door by 9:15 9:30 to catch the bus inbound to get me to the train inbound by 11:00 when my meeting is at assist, i n c. Before I even got up though I plan to race through getting dressed so I can maybe go across the street for coffee to bring back to the apartment the nurse on all morning long. That did not happen however because I made the mistake of wandering into the TV area once I got up turning on the news so I can watch the weather. Then in the shave which I ended up scrubbing the toilet and a few other things. When I finally did start the process of actually dressing I had a Dickens of a time getting my one leg up over my other leg so I can put my shorts on. At this juncture- if you remember correctly - I also put on my tennis shoes that's the only cut some process out of the process it allows me to have a fairly decent base to try to stand up so I can get my shorts on over my hips it's complicated I understand. Anyway it took me forever to work with the devices I have to raise my leg up across the other one to put the shorts on. Once the shorts were on the shoes were on things went pretty smooth. By that time it was a nearly 10:00 a.m. I had basically blown my morning. Telling somebody about this later in the day I mentioned the fact that if I had had a place to be I would have immediately gotten dressed as quickly as possible I would have made the bus or the train and I would have gotten to my meeting and Back Again. So it's made me wonder all day do I need to have a job of some sort that I have to get up and focus on totally maxing out my dressing skills just to be dressed for the rest of the day? I don't know all I know is getting more and more difficult and I can't really make up enough reasons why this is happening. Today I used the excuse that there must be something wrong with my power chair or my cushion in the chair that's not allowing me to sit the way I usually do so I can easily get my one leg up over my other leg so I can put my shoes on as well as my shorts- - like I said it's complicated. I'm not spooked or anything really I'm just sort of worried like how is it going to come when am I going to realize that it's time to move to the next step. And once again played with the idea of if I had every day attendant care this would greatly increase my ability to stay away from long-term care or Assisted Living type scenarios. The looming out there somewhere in my future just not today…