Like Blood On the Water...

Sometimes I feel like I am living in a cartoon like on Who Framed Roger Rabbit or any other piece of animation where the main character is swirling round a drain just waiting to get sucked down and disappear. As many of you all know who read this blog with any regularity is that I work for a State agency, funded by four ( or rather I used to be) separate State of Utah agencies. As the economic down turn has ravished State agencies especially those agencies who fund me/my program, they in turn have, either , reduced their grant or cut the funding stream all together. So little by little I am becoming invisible or about ready to go down the drain.

At the beginning of this granting year my one remaining main funder informed us that they most likely would not renew the grant this coming year which means that quite possibly, I would/will be out of this job and into dire straits come July 1. So I am scrambling. My direct supervisor is scrambling and the CFO is scrambling to find a funding stream which will keep me here at this office or any office. As the Baby Boommers age more and more money is being deployed to aging agencies and programs which serve this population. Directors all over the Utah area swimming in the State and private non-profit sea waiting for grants top be dropped into the water, like sharks. Recently a couple of grants have been released one actually funded at 200,000.00 dollars for three years; talk about blood on the water. I went to meeting today to cover for my Boss who is out of town on vacation. I went with my friend Frank who is our financial man. I kinda of knew this project was going and I knew my boss was acting as my/program advocate I just did not know how far along the project was and how my program was being written into the project. I think I have had the option to know more but have really kept a low profile. Today, was enlightening kind of energizing. We might get a small slice of the bigger pie—it may be a slice large enough to keep my project going for a couple of years but who knows.

What I saw today was encouraging, but nothing definite, not by a long shot. There were a lot of players at the table some like me and my program a lot and others not so much and many who do know anything at all about whom we are or what we do. I was felt I was being thrown back into the “shmooze” talk, talk, talk, smile, smile smile and kiss a whole lot of butt. Don't get me wrong I can kiss butt right along there with the best of them—I mean come on I AM a State employee. I just have not have to in a long time. So there I am, back up on the big screen of life running in the opposite direction of the water plunging down the drain, just being a cartoon...just being me.