Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Dark Days



I'm not sure what is happening right now I'm feeling anxious, maybe even depressed I am hoping these feelings are situational brought about by what I don't know but I suspect, strongly that my skin is breaking down again which is wearing me down. I just can't seem to get these issues resolved. Cushions, at least the questions I have been trying do not seem to work. Skin breakdown I am anticipating a reoccurring, I suspect in many cases never really quite healing. The site of the irritations are at a place on my right hip that is just too hard to combat but we are combating as well as we can. Dianne.has been doing a heroines job as far as managing the trauma side as well as possible. But I suspect if I continue my lifestyle as is just continue to wear out my butt and I suspect that's what I'm going to have to do. I just feel this might be a major depression generator and I'm not quite sure how to deal with that. I sure as hell don't want to be on some sort of drug regimen but maybe if that's what it takes that's what I have to do.

I mean let me look on the bright side. Right now the wounds are closed they just caution flags. I need to be proactive to be on top of these – – excuse the pun – –. In Dianne's rightwe can heal skin breakdown if need be. We have done before and hopefully we can do it again… If need be. I hate to be so morose but these all seem to be signs of the end of things. You know? “The guy struggled the last of his days trying to get on top of whatever demon or physical challenge he had which eventually took him out.” The silver lining to this great clout is that he had” X” amount of days, months, years or whatever before his eventual end. So I should be happy, I need to look at it this way and get away from this dark and dismal feeling I am experiencing. I don't know if I can do it… Maybe if I get some rest and get some sleep or whatever I can climb out of this hole.

Another option I have refused to consider for a number of reasons is going to Roho cushion, and air support cushion. Perhaps it is now time to consider this option. The cushions I have been using just aren't cutting it and I kind of suspect that the cushion is doing more damage than is helping. I just don't know if I can live on this kind of cushion but I have to give it a shot. Hopefully the right choices will be made and I will be able to continue on with my lifestyle albeit modified.


A change of cushion, less time up in hyper-vigilance of the wound sites and encouraged to do whatever has to be done to continue forward  

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