Happy Birthday Big Bro

Today is my brother’s birthday, he is five years older then I am, and I guess he is the closest  to me as a family member—I don’t mean this disparagingly it’s just he is the family member I know best because I grew up with him-Ross was always there, good or bad.  Many times I must admit living with Ross was challenging if not dangerous. I was the little brother and as the little brother I was the target for everything. I was always frightened, it seemed. My brother knew all my buttons and pushed them all especially after dark.  We had bunk beds, he was on the top bunk and I was on the bottom and all he would have to do is ask if I just heard that voice—that is all I needed to set me off for the remainder of the night. Voices, in the dark, in my room from the other side of wall. I was on Ross’s motorcycle when I had my accident, the one which I broke my neck. I doubt he ever really forgave me for that but we got along.  He was out of the city when I cracked up, the reason I was on his cycle. My bike was just too small and I had figured out a way to break into the ignition of his cycle and I was on  my way. Ross served in the Marine Corp during the Viet Nam thing, he saw lots of service, did two tours maybe more and came back to a quiet life, staying beneath the radar, working quietly and being a model  citizen.   Ross hunts, he hunts a lot. He is good at it.  He is s survivor, quiet and steady. I am sure Ross will be around long after every one else has left it’s  just the way it is. Ross is a loner, running silent, running deep and I have to  allow him his freedom to be who he is. I have never professed to understand him and I never well and that is the way it should be. I have been surprised as how sensitive a person my brother is. I think he cries, though I have never seen this—I think he has been hurt deeply, probably by me but I doubt that. I think the damage had been done long before he knew me—so I can forgive, I have to forgive because he had to live with me at the same time I was living with him and I can not throw any stones. Regardless, we survived each other, we are family and I’m glad…happy birthday big bro.