Leap Marriage

If you have been following this blog for the years I have been posting you all know that Dianne and I got married on Leap Day 1992. Leap day that year fell on a Saturday, which was also the second day of the month which means we were also trying to consolidate both our house holds so we would have to pay another months rent. We did it and the action was not even as traumatic as it feels it should have been. But that was a long time ago or was it. By Leap year standards that blessed event was but four and half years ago but feels like twenty two years to me.

These twenty-two years we have witnessed our kids become adults, all of them. We claim six kids, four biologicals and two by loving default. School plays, baseball games, Tae Kwon Do, school concerts, soccer games and soft ball games, graduations, marriages, blending families and grand children. Vocational traumas, and awards retirements and refocusing life energies. We sent a kid on a mission, supported parents through their final years and yes even buried them. We took part in our neighborhood which has been our only hood in these decades, Christmas functions, fourth of July celebrations, Thanksgiving dinners and Christmas feasts and years where holidays were spent alone. We have neighbors we love and mourn their aging and soon demise we have neighbors we are not so sure of but enjoy their presence most of the time. We have had more computers, cars and van then I thought possible. We have both spent time in the hospital for one challenge or another and we are still here. We have done our duty when required-hosting kid and family at our home for however long, drive mothers to medical appointments, researched out any and all medical family members might need. I think we have played well in this symphony of life not first chair always but always together.

Twenty-two years in the blink of an eye, I wish there was more time or we had met younger so we could have had more time together. I am old now when I look in the morning mirror. People revere me as an ancient. I wished I looked as good as Dianne does and will continue. I am blessed in that Dianne is one of those women who look better and better as they age. No matter though how well we look and feel I see the Reaper more and more often when I turn quickly. Hopefully not today or tomorrow but soon. I hope we have many Leap years ahead of us being strong, independent and pain free.

So whether it is twenty-two regular of 4.5 or Leap years we are glad we got connected by that misplaced phone call however many years ago.

Nothing's Ever Simple

I was baptized Mormon at the age of eight years which is traditional—I like saying I was born under the covenant which I was not, really since I was adopted at birth. So, I was kinda, but needless to say I was raised full blown Mo- and even though they like to say you were baptized under your own volition or free agency you rally aren't. Seriously what eight year old kid is going to tell their parents they don't want to go under the water, one of the biggest events of their young life. Once you're baptized you one of theirs you are one of their hook line ad soul. These guys keep incredible records too—that never go away.

I have been inactive for decades now, which means I don't go to church they still count me for their official records but I have little to no contact. This is fine by me but it always awkward. I have been living in Murray Utah for two decades now and the local ward acknowledges a couple times a years usually with a Christmas letter and a reminder of the pioneer breakfast every 24^th of July and we get a long fine.

Two a couple of days ago I was coming home from my Wellness workout and I had had a busy day. I had an early meeting of one of the volunteer boards I still sit on which caused me to motor in my power chair a little further then usual I saw my power indicator on my chair was getting low so I made sure I plugged into the charger they have at Wellness and I felt comfortable when I left the rehab center headed for home. But as I boarded the bus on my last leg of my journey home I noticed the indicator was in the yellow zone but no worries, I had been there before but always managed to have enough juice to get home. I did call Dianne however to let her know I might need an assist.

By the time the bus dropped me off in my neighborhood I was in the red zone and I was getting concerned but I headed forward going for broke and sure enough by the time I hot to my driveway I did not have enough juice to power up the small incline to my driveway and I was going to have to manage my good sized ramp to the house. My chair would shut down each time I tried to get up the driveway. I called my wife to asked her to come out of the house and assist me getting in. I had just disconnected the phone call when two neighborhood folk passed me walking their dog. I said “hi” and waited for Dianne. The couple walked on about ten years stopped and turned round and came back and asked if I needed assistance of any kind. I told them I did and they kindly pushed me up onto the sidewalk and onto the ramp. In the mean time Dianne came out and we all began visiting.

The spontaneous visit revealed the helpers were husband and wife(cute) and the husband was in fact the bishop of the ward. He also indicated that he had looked into my record (which he had a full record) as asked me some information of where I once lived in another state in another time. Wow, I cannot say that this freaked me out but did kind of. I appreciated the assist and the visit and possible new friendship but still it is amazing how long the reach of this organization is. I don't know how to feel, I am still sorting the event out. I can already tell more contact is in store and I am sure I am going to have to establish some boundaries but I will cross that bridge when I come to it. For time being lets everyone get along.

Both Sides Now

The first of the week has been a bit of a pile up. One day I was down in bed and the next was just catching up getting to my meetings and Wellness. I let things go in the electronic arena go—I kind of fell off the grid and you know what? Being off was not half bad. I don't know if I have the will. Strength or desire to leave to go completely “dark” but it has been fun thinking about.

I really like social media nut I don't need social media. I use Face Book most, the Twitter then a couple of others. I like keeping up with lost friends of my youth—I have often wondered if I am using FB et al as “fountain of youth” trying to convince I was popular at a time when I was not all that popular. Even now social media is still just a few of the old folks, the most popular still eludes the main groups by not using social media at all are, all have established private net works. History is doomed to repeat itself.

I like the blog but not really from a social aspect, however I do enjoy feedback from folk who read my posts. Again my whole idea of getting into blogging was to have a venue where I could write, and have to write, on a regular basis and not have to jump through a lot of hoops to be out in public. The draw back is how few people “tune in” or leave comments but really that is OK too...it's not for me it by me . I write and if nothing else the blog is a record of my writing frequency. Sadly the blog may be my only long term attempt of writing. I am currently working on my second thousand posts—which not matter how I look at the number the number is huge. Most post are 500 words are more which is about a page typed—so, if wrote even a fraction of this number on one focused topic I would have a real book written –I would be a real writer.

I have the bits of technology attached to my blogs which allow have some grasp of how many and where visitors to my blog there are and where them come from i.e. Asia, Europe and beyond.

The blog is safe and lets me write, post the blogs out on the Internet for the public giving me cred for doing something with the written word if anyone were ever to really check the blog out. I must admit I HAVE BEEN CHECKED OUT by folks from other continents and they have even left comments—these have made my day. But I am happy at those family member who follow and leave comments, and I am surprised at who some have been.

The blog is proof to anyone in the social network universe that I am more then just a pretty face on FB and Twitter—I have a real house of words with rooms and rooms to explore and surprising few redundancies even illustrated here and there with scenes from my life.

No, I don't foresee going dark anytime soon—I like being recognized and remembered for who I was and for who I seem to have turned out to be.

It's Almost Over

Its almost over! I woke this morning unable to get back, this is not an unusual event, rarely can I enjoy the gift of late sleeping—even if I am tired. I wake and that id it for the night I'm done and I need to get up and face my day. In fairness I must confess that now that I am retired and aging I am sleeping later then I ever have—depending when I retire of course. But even going to be at 9:30 pm which used to guarantee that I would wake at 4:30 am or earlier now I'm lucky to wake before 6:30—still earlier enough to get the best bang out of my morning buck.

But today I laid with a knowledge and excitement that the the Olympics would soon be over for this Olympiad and that regular programing would soon be back on the regular NBC affiliate and a release from an unwritten decree that all good citizens must be about their Olympic business of supporting home team(country). Hour after hour,day after day of Olympic fluff, comentary and cutesy back stories of athletes, athletes families and even hometown all punctuated with nearly as much advertizing mostly auto advertizing but also insurance, alcohol and local furniture stores.

I don't know, I think I have blogged before of my distaste for sports and specifically organized sports .i.e baseball, foot ball, basketball curling and on and on. I would like to say this sport aversion is a result of a beautiful life struck down in adolescence but no as romantic and shallow as that we be, but the truth be told I always hated watching long contests between individual and team. I could almost tolerate taking part in sporting exhibitions-I played baseball, football, volleyball, I wrestled, and other thing. I did not like any of it. I see sporting events as a way of developing synthetic stress and whipping individuals, communities, state and country of nothing at all. Too many tears. Oh yes, I know sports.

So tomorrow night, Sunday will broadcast the last of these Russian Olympics—thank god. Let the Russians return to what ever the Russians do their people and the rest of the world to what ever it does. Let the 5:30 and ten o clock news return to reporting what they and so we consider news an way from silly human interest stories about locals taking part in the “games”. We used to have a reprieve of four years between Olympiads but in true and typical fashion, greed has entered in(I am sure driven by the U.S.) and now have to endure these events every two years(unbelievable). I guess I could rant on about the whole debacle of the Para-olympics—what a joke—that supposedly super athletic event, about sports, competition (the worlds best) of people with disabilities called the olympics but really not, the Olympics—and most folk with disabilities ha e not even figured this out yet—the jocks just want to be jocks somewhere on a world stage any world stage. So I my rant in a couple of weeks when the Para-olympics are supposed to begin—the b est part is there will almost be no coverage and my program will not be affected.

Learn the Lesson, Buy!!

Yesterday was the first full day with the new castor, which I purchased on Wednesday, and I must say it was a joy cruising Salt Lake with the repaired powerchair. Having equipment function the way it is supposed to function certainly adds a level of enjoyment to life. I must confess I am guilty of trying to get by the cheapest and less invasive way possible. I lost this castor for the first time about a month ago, blew out the bearings and I gimped along calling in State agencies, private nonprofits and other I knew owned chairs similar to mine in hopes of finding a no cost or low cost solution. I actually gleaned a lot of good intel with this last challenge but seriously I should have just took the bullet and purchased the castor. There may have been other issues that force me to explore other option—it does seem there was a problem with my chosen vendor and sorta like the only vender in the city did not have the needed bearing or castor. I tried to get by and not buy.

We recently invested in an new and different security system to protect our electronics i.e. our networked computer systems. We have a system the includes our desktop, two lap tops and tablets( I think). I hate this stuff because I always fail at things like pass words, user name and all the other things one has to remember to be responsible and adult. I would just throw caution to the wind and use a minimal amount of security—on the other hand Dianne loves any and all security and when the security system which came with the original desk expired she upgraded to a powerful and complicated security system—this program covers everything. I have tried to accept the new protector and I think I am doing pretty good but just a I begin to feel comfortable thinking I can do this, I get sucker punched or better “security punched” this last hit was the printer/scanner—specifically the scanner no longer is being recognized by the desktop. I ran into this as I was trying to scan an image to up load to my Facebook account. I post an image from my past every Friday called Flash Back Friday. The posting has become very well accepted and I enjoy the comments an “likes”. Like any beast raised or created once created the beast has to be fed. Luckily I have scanned number images into my hard drive during my “life Image” project. I am trying to scan in the entirety of my family's photo record or what is left of the early family photos. Embarrassingly, the images I have posted are of me and I guess will always be so until I run out images. I have a few more images in folders on my desktop but after about three more weeks I could be in trouble. I will have to get into settings an figure out a way to have one machine recognize the other then the problem will be solved.

Actually I am going to let Dianne to searching and figuring out. Dianne has become the computer expert technician in the household. I was the computer wizard when only I used the computer, I worked on luck and tenacity I worked on a problem until eventually I tripped on the solution. I was terrified anytime I was called to replicate configuration or process. Where Dianne actually works out the problem, Diann even calls Technical Support and will work with Support and an acceptable solution is had. So I am not too concerned I have the time before I nee to post the next Flash Back Friday.

Rain Snow and Financial Challenges-Hello Life :-)

I am trying to stay positive and I m beginning to wonder if staying positive regardless of the trials and tribulations is the key, the lesson of life—or at least one of the lessons. A couple of days ago I was up early and dressed and headed out the door to my days activities before anyone else in the house was up.

As I headed out of the house my chair started making a terrible noise—typical, but the chair continued to roll and I carried on. I could not imagine where the noise was coming from but on my return home at the end of my day Dianne and Rebecca checked out the chair and immediately found the problem—the noise was coming from a failed bearing in the front left castor. I really should have been on top of this since I had the exact same problem a month or so ago when the same ting happened. I got the problem fixed with used equipment and I should have ordered in the new equipment and got the problem taken care of. I dropped the ball and I am now paying the consequences.

There was a time this event would have crushed my day and spirit having to change my plans correct the problem. But, I did not have the negative this event however. I made the calls, found the information needed and set out to get the item fixed and I did it. The repair cost, probably more the $100.00 but I am fixed now and back on the road and the impact on my life was minimal, Smile, take a deep breath and keep on moving forward.

The season of change is now moving over my world—Equinox is still a month off but the seasons are changing and the flux is everywhere. Yesterday there was sunshine, snow and rain as the day wondered through my reality. We got caught in a fairly significant snow storm—not really-- huge wet flaked falling, blowing sidewise from time to time and just kind of miserable being out in it...if I let it be miserable—however, I chose to let the outing be fun and enjoyed the time out with Dianne and even if the cold and snow was uncomfortable especially when snow lumps would find their way down my neck—I knew soon I would be out of the element and with the passing of this day one day closer to Spring. I have noted over the years that during the time of Equinox I have to or can expect visit from all four seasons.

So armed with a repaired chair I charge forward today and am looking forward to riding the bus, train and working out on the Saratoga Silver. But most of all being alive and out in the world.  

Hole

I had a meeting this morning cancel on me. The meeting is a standing Tuesday morning meeting, its a consumer advisory board I sit on for a private non-profit called Assist, Inc. I have sat on this board off and on for the past twenty years. The board is an easy assignment, I just have to get myself up and out the door and to the meeting by 11:00 a.m. I volunteer now but when I was employed I was paid for my attendance to this meeting and others similar. Its a bit different now—I really am giving of my time which is kind of a big deal but not really. I still am getting more in return then I am giving. I have somewhere to go, get to ride public transit and visit with some old friends—I feel this is a form of socialization and everyone knows people, especially old geezers like me need.

So, there is a hole in my day about a four hour hole that I am partially filling by doing my blog update and I appreciate the time but really wish I was doing something more productive—so there I am still searching for something to do to do some good—I guess it does not have to be “good” but “good” is so much easier to handle then “bad and grief” is. I have been thinking of giving the senior center another try or the IHC hospital in my neighborhood...I am sort of holding out on these as a last resort hoping something better my come along—that sounds awful petty. There is always the standby do your good work at home especially my computer room, which is a never ending story, and I must admit the computer room project id coming along. Yesterday we moved a clothes rack back to the room and replaced the printer table and both items have greatly added to the functionality of the room. We might be turning the corner to the space. We are going to remove a cabinet or two and a file cabinet and the room will be totally renewed. Kind of exciting.

I am waiting to hear back from Dr Moss regarding the shipping of the SS. When I have that information I will cut the check and closing the deal and then all I have to do is wait. I am sensing the SS will go somewhere in the computer room—makes sense but I have to admit I was not too hot on the idea initially after freeing up so much space but the more I consider the ergometer in the computer room the more I think that is the best place for the machine and for me to work out. I think for the SS to be welcome in the computer room I still have lots of work and especially to get rid of a lot of things.

This purging of my worldly good is kind of liberating kinda of like getting naked after having to wear clothes for a very long time.

The Home Advantage

I DID IT! Yesterday I committed to purchasing my very own Saratoga Silver ergometer!! I must confess I am a little spooked about the decision since I have a bit of history of getting things then doing nothing with the item once I have owner-ship and the cost of this item is close to $1000.00 maybe a bit more when shipping is added to the purchase price.

I have been participating in the Wellness program, a program offered by my rehabilitation vendor, University of Utah , Out Patient Rehab. I have written briefly regarding this program over the last couple of years. I was slow warming to the program since the facilities are only open to the public after 3:00 in the afternoon of traditional work days of the work week. But since retirement I have become totally involved in the program, my program. I have come to believe that my participation in this is the most important thing I can do for my self and those who love me at this point in my life. The program costs me $35.00 a month and I consider the cost money will spent. The main draw back is this program is offered only during working hours—I need and want more! Today is a national holiday and I am sitting here naked in front of my computer blogging about not being able workout because everything is shut down for the holiday—also I would love to push some weight on the weekend or when ever I would like to. I explored some other alternatives, local health clubs, even the local senior center which has a “work out room” but nowhere is there facilities or equipment I need or access. I hope to change this but that project is a long term project so in the mean time I am actually searching out equipment I can have in my home which will give m the same physical challenge I have at the rehab center. So far I have picked up a rickshaw( currently sitting in my garage, waiting for good weather when I can figure out if I can use this in my life) I know I need to get some weights for the rickshaw and get the device where I can use it. I am not even sure if the device will work. This rickshaw excites me.

The equipment I have been exposed which I feel has been the ergometer, called the Saratoga Silver(SS)—its cool. I love it. I use the device three times a week, I turn it for half an hour and I a surprised at how much good it has done for me and my body. I used to have pretty good access to this machine but the machine has seemed to grow in popularity with other folks in Wellness—I even got bumped off it a couple of times. So, I have been searching for a similar device and found one a couple weeks ago. The machine is the same model as the one I use at Wellness only newer and better and has a few more options. The only draw back is the machine is in Illinois and I will have to have the device crated and shipped West. When I found the SS I sat and thought of about it for the longest while then I emailed the owner to see if the machine was still available . It was. Then I waited for another couple of weeks and then actually called the owner yesterday and the SS still was available-which I took as a sign and decided to go for it and I told him I would take it—so now the guy with a disability has to get the machine boxed up, find a shipper and then we must seal the deal and exchange the product for the money. Its done

Now, I already am experiencing “buyer remorse”, I'm afraid I am going to find a better deal or something but I must keep the faith and look forward to the arrival of the newest piece of equipment to my home gym!!!  

Train Aliens

I have really tried to stop taking images, random images of scenes I trip across in the public domain in my day to day travels, especially on the train. What is public and what is private? When and where?

So many questions and so many gray areas. The bottom line for me is the imagery to so ripe and full that it would criminal not to use the images. Is the use of the images worth the risk? I guess.

The other day I was riding the train home from my Wellness workout and I looked up from my tablet and I was aware of not just one but a couple of interesting looking folk—it was weird, only after closer examination I realized I was looking at aliens—not folks South o the border but maybe folks South, North or what ever of the solar system. One with eyes goggle-wide open and the other looking quite asleep, rocking back and forth in rhythm of the train there was another but I cannot remember for sure right now. I wonder what kind of placement program they are on—I doubt their criminals probably just squealers—i.e. Men In Black, some form of galactic witness protection program.

I wish I could mingle round the train. I would ask one of these folk just where they are from and how are they enjoying their time on Earth. But since I use a wheelchair for mobility and thee is really only one place a chair person can be on the train that is it—I'll never get my chance with a train alien.

Today While on the Train

I am finally getting back to my routine, which is multiple days over to Sugarhouse Rehabilitation for my Wellness workout which takes a little more then an hour but getting to the Rehab facility take about an hour each way and I try to be early when I can—so I am saying the workout event essentially takes half day to accomplish. I also and blessed to be able to meet this activity totally on public transit. I take a series of buses and jump the train. I like public transit but the only draw back is public transit is very...well, public. You never know who you might run into on the train, I am usually pretty safe from interaction but sometimes your number is up and you have to take your turn at bat. Yesterday was mine.

I was on my way into Sugarhouse and at the Fireclay station one of my old Independent Living clients rolled onto the train and of course he recognized me right off and started making conversation. This guys is Francis, h is from where back east I think Detroit. When Francis migrated to Utah I was still housing coordinator for the local independent living center and he called from Detroit and I assisted him coming into the city. I may have worked extra hard for this guy, when he called he was leaving a job—yes, this guy with a disability actually had job—rare for the clientele I was used to serving. He had ambitions, wanted to find a job, get involved with the disabled community and even get involved in local politics. I of course had him send me his resume He looked great on paper and sounded great over the phone. If I remember correctly I even had him in housing by the time he got into town.

He totally up-sold me. When I met Francis is person he was not the same product I had been marketed over the telly-He was everything he said but just a much scaled down version. Still, Francis had enough to get him the basics of survival. What ever I did for this guy he has been totally impressed every since with me. I directed him to a couple of disability private support programs and private non profits who are always looking for “volunteers” usually poster children willing to be exploited to the limits of good taste. He rolled in with both feet. Actually got put on some fairly high level boards and is now attempting law school and wearing the Dean out—actually quite charming and get this as we are sitting on the train he starts mumbling on how good it is too see me and how I have done so much for him. I HAVE NOT! This is just how Francis, perceives his world and me. I just let him talk and soon it was his time get off the train—he was on his way up to the capitol to fill the halls with folks with disabilities and possibly testify—I was a Jerry Lewis type of guy I could hold Francis as one of Meadowlark's Larks—gag me.

Just Remembering

I have a service which sends me a listing of the obituaries as listed each day in the Idaho Statesman, my hometown paper. I know it's morbid but I kinda like to keep tabs on who is there and who is not or maybe its an “old guy” thing, because I know my best next door neighbor, Al does it too—it a bit easier for him since he was born and raised here in Salt Lake City. Al, served in the Great War, Al has been around but Al is quietly mourning his life passing and these old friends are part but they are not even his finds just hundreds or even thousands of folks in his same time slot. But I digress. Last week I noted that Tom Breen had passed. I have included the Obit with an image.

I really did not know Thomas Breen, he was two years older then me be Tom was kind of a legend at the Jr High attended. He was in the age group of Tom Cantrell, the older brother of my best friend. Tom C. of course was my friend by association. Tom C and Tom B were legendary to me, they were “big kids” they knew they're round school and life, had real jobs in the summer and were bigger then life. I have noted with interest that what seems like a of folks from Tom C.'s niche are beginning to pass. Danny Bartlett, Tom Breen and others I cannot remember right now.

I don't really know why this is important to me. I woke early this morning thinking I need to write this posting and put it up today and now I cannot get a handle on it but I am going to post it anyway. Maybe we all need to reach out today remember someone and let them know you're thinking of them...

Thomas Vincent Breen
1949 ~ 2014
Tom passed away peacefully at home surrounded by family on February 4, 2014. He was born July 22, 1949 to Vincent and Nolene (Peck) Breen in Boise, the first of five children. He attended school at Garfield, East Jr. High, Boise High, and BSU.
Tom worked for the Bureau of Land Management (BLM) for over 40 years, mostly as a Fire Fighter. Later in his career, he worked as Fire Lookout at Bennett Mountain and a single engine air tanker manager. Fighting fires with BLM throughout the years resulted in many lifelong friendships.
Tom had a good life that was full of adventures. Among the highlights are 25 years of fighting fire on the rangelands of Idaho and the west, surviving an errant fire retardant drop that crushed his truck, injuring him and a co-worker, spending the summer of 1968 in New York City after graduating high school, traveling six weeks in Europe with his girlfriend, countless NCAA basketball tournaments throughout the country, and some great bicycle rides with close friends. Tom enjoyed participating in and watching sports including basketball and cycling. His bicycle was his pride and joy. Tom was also a lover of literature and a voracious reader.
During the last several months, after being diagnosed with cancer, Tom spent time with many of his close friends who gave much support that was truly appreciated. The strength and courage Tom showed through these past months was inspiring.
The family wishes to thank all his friends for everything they did to enrich his life. We also thank the staff at MSTI, the nurses at St Luke's ICU, and Hospice for the loving care they provided.
Tom leaves behind a loving family; mother, Nolene; sister, Ann and her husband John Chronic; brothers, Kelly, Rodger, and Bryon and his wife Kim; nieces, Chloe, Erin and Kelsey; nephews, Sean, Nathan, and Bill; and many aunts, uncles, and cousins.
Tom lived life on his own terms up to the end. In keeping with his wishes, no formal services will be held. However, a celebration of his life will take place on Saturday, February 15, 2014 from 1:30 to 4:00 p.m. at the Stone House (adjacent to the Ram Pub, 709 E. Park Blvd). His ashes will be spread at Bonneville Point on Saturday, February 15, 2014 at 11:30 a.m. (weather permitting) and again at a later date. - See more at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/idahostatesman/obituary.aspx?n=thomas-breen&pid=169522709#sthash.tP37CIf3.dpuf

Read more here: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/idahostatesman/obituary.aspx?n=thomas-breen&pid=169522709#storylink=cpy

Sunday Afternoon Pie

We are going through the February thaw and I am loving it. The temperatures today may even get up to the low 50's!! I don't plan to go anywhere today but the point I could, if I so desired, and not freeze my stones off plus I am feeling healthy enough to go out forging. So hopefully tomorrow I'll be up bright and early and train into work/volunteer and the start of being back on my routine.

Today I have the heat turned up and I want to bake a pie—a fine apple pie and maybe BBQ some hamburgers—that would be very good for a cool, wet Sunday—BUT ITS THE THAW!! The snow is gone, it raining in the valleys and dumping snow in the mountains, the way it supposed to be. It already nearly the middle of February which means to be the days of the great snows are now a thing of the past till next year. So, even if the gods decree there be more snow, the snow will not stick around, the hours of daylight are just too long and the Earth is tipping backup on it's axis so the sunlight is hitting us more direct and getting more so with each day—I am easily excited.

Its been a quiet day. I have spent a large part fretting over an apple pie I am helping make. I have found I often get an urge to do something, and I want to do something and I may even get starting on the project, often maybe the most difficult part of the project then have others finish the project, Like this apple pie. Earlier this week when Dianne went to the market I had her pick up a bag of green apples, nice tart apples perfect for an apple pie. I thought doing the pie yesterday but we just ran out of time—but today I really wanted have an apple pie for desert after dinner. So, late in the day about 3:00 pm I started cutting up the apples getting ready to mix. I cut up 8 apples, really quite a project for me but I got them done and in water, the rest of the clan took naps and I listened to NPR. They woke as I came in to finish this posting. It sounds like a pie is now coming together—again I am excited.

Dianne is tearing butcher ramp to roll out the pie crust and I bet will soon be throwing the sugar and cinnamon on to the apples, mix the up and dump them into pie dish. We are having hamburgers for dinner. Dianne just got back from Big 5 to get a bottle propane to do the burger with—I am so excited.

I admire folks who can take naps, folks who can take naps with gusto. My wife can do that, when I try to do that, take a nap I wake up a very growly bear, I often feel worse then when I went down for the nap. If I am lucky, or those round me, I do begin to feel better one I wake up. I don't feel the short bit sleep is worth the trauma of waking. I gotta and over see the project and get bragging rights for a Sunday afternoon pie.

It's Just Weird

A couple of weeks sago my sister in law, Rebecca was helping me organize the chaos we call the computer room—the bedroom which returned to the fold after the last home kid moved out a number of years ago. As we sifted through drawer after drawer loaded with cords, USB cables renegade software and ancient media I happened across a not so old computer cam maybe 7 years old—which I guess in computer language is ancient-- and on a lark I plugged the USB in and sure enough one of the old image programs on the system regained conscience an produced an image of what the device was pointed in this case the wheels of my wheelchair chair. I was amazed at how got the image rendered was. I don't know why I thought the image would be black and white like the old video cameras but the image was sharp and in living color. I was delighted and put the camera aside.

I traditionally am the first to rise in the morning at my home, so I am out of bed into the bathroom then up to the kitchen to start the coffee and turn on NPR and then usually into the computer room to checkout my Face Book and Twitter account. Of course this is all done naked, naked as a J-bird. No big deal, I love being naked not big deal, even with the company we have been blessed with the last couple of months so, I usually I wear a poncho my wife made for me out of a towel.

So in the quiet of the house yesterday I got to thinking I needed some fresh images or all of my social networking projects and since the newly found camera was right at hand why not. Soon I was clicking away and then I realized I was wearing my modesty poncho and just felt I could be so much more creative and free with out it terry cloth rag and off it went. I took a number of poses pulled , what I thought were some of the best, cropped and loaded and up lifted the image to my Facebook and Twitter accounts. I did no think anything of it. I was nude in the image from the waist up. I how do people know? Well one did and she chimed in telling me I need to get dressed. Then my brother asked if I was naked—I answered sure!! I was at the point if I thought I could get away with it I would have done a full frontal—fully monty and been proud of it or the boys.

I don't mean to but I am shocking people, and like all the free speechers say, you don't have to come to this site. What a great time to be alive, to have access to all this great technology and be able to go from production to post with just a few clicks. Granted one has to be sure, because once you're out there you're out there. Its just weird .

Just a Little Faith

This image taken 1238 today

I cannot believe it, but already I am falling behind on my posts to my Blog. Oh, I have an excuse I have sick, so sick I even spent the day in bed yesterday. But I should have posted even just to say I cannot post because I am so ill. I am such a whiner. But I must admit I think the day down did me measurable good. I am feeling a whole lot better—some what better today. I am at least up, had a meager breakfast and I am at my computer working on my blog.

This entire household has been experiencing flu or flu like symptom illness. Dianne and Rebecca got smashed by the virus or what ever extremely bad. Fever, throwing up hacking, super hacking. I was kind of spooked. I am 63 now, with a compromised respiratory system—I could die ,DIE from an attack as I witnessed the girls suffer with. However, I got the H1N1 shot this year, as I did last year, and that gave me the faith to stave off the worst part of this disease process. I am not saying if I had perfect faith I could have completely dodged the flu bullet—but maybe if I had enough. Really the worst symptoms I exhibited were some light coughing and being kick butt tired. It seems I have been kick butt tired a long long time but today I am feeling stronger and more fully awake. If I can keep this recovery up I hopefully can return to my routine of volunteering and my workouts Monday of this coming week.

Last night I noted as I looked in the mirror how beat up and old I looked and this kind o disturbed be—I mean I know I am looking old,older maybe but last night I looked flat out ancient and hammered. I started thinking this illness may have been some kind o tuning point—that one point where everyone will whisper to each other at the viewing and later at the wake—Yup he just looked old following the bout he had with the flu back in '14. However this morning, looking at myself I did not look so bad. Yeah I know I am a long ways from partial. Hopefully I am going to see if I can get the cam on this system operational and submit as exhibit for the record.

So onward and upward. My goal today is to get dressed and stay up in my chair till bed time. I need to work on my granddaughter letters and hopefully have the batch ready for the mail by Monday when I hope to be back to my phone at 211, saving my little corner of the world. Its not easy staying upright after spending a couple of days in the prone position. I have to build endurance. I have to build will and best of all I have to start building a faith in myself that I can and that I well that there will be more me at 63...

Birthday Thoughts

Today is my birthday, today I am 63 and that is a long time and I should be thankful and I am. I have had a pretty good run so far. Born in the middle of the 20^th century, adopted into a pretty great family, I managed to survive numerous near death experiences, marriages sand jobs. I have ended up with a great marriage, great partner, great kids, grand kids and a life with more good experiences then bad.

I love to talk, I love to help people I love being part of a conversation and something bigger. I love conspiracies theories, secrets and being invisible. I love being the first to know.

I wish I had done a lot of things different. I wish I had done a lot of things better. I wish I new who my birth mother is/was just because. I wonder if knowing this information would change my life make me a better or worse person. If I knew my biologicals I would have more information as to what to look out for especially as I age—I would have better information/data to pass to my children and grand children to help them in their life's medical decisions. I would have better decisions to have chosen a life path, career or future.

I am 63 today, I am still growing and developing. I can feel it and at times this development feels kind of weird. As my children and grand children grow and age I can feel my self understanding myself better knowing them allows me to better know myself. Life is weird.

This is an image of my cousin Mike and my self at age five at out fifth birthday party—born on the same day we were like the family twins. I felt pretty close to all my cousins the first decade of my life but we all sort of drifted apart as time went by. Mike was in and out of Boise and my life growing up and then somewhere a couple of years before my accident he just sort of disappeared. I seem to remember he was somewhere in the great North West then I had my accident in 1966 and I seemed to loose track of everything for a while—I lost track of Mike for thirty some years. He reappeared in my life five or six years ago when he started showing up at family reunions. I was shocked and surprised—I was probably more so in that I got the distinct impression everyone else knew exactly where he was, talk about a conspiracy and one I was right dab in the middle of. I try not to ponder it too much-- I am just glad Mike and I are sorta back together. Its not like we are brothers brought together after the genocide of war or separated at birth—though we could have, nothing in this family surprises me any more. I hope I get the chance to forge a closer relationship with him be fore this time is all over. We are social networking with Facebook which seems to be working and we have the reunionsand maybe that is all we can tolerate right now, on our 63^rd birthday perhaps that is best.

Birthday Eve

Blog 02.01.2014—Saturday

It's the first day of February: February first, this has become a very symbolic day for me—first and for most getting to February first means I've survived January, the darkest and coldest month of the year, State of the of the Union, State of the State and the beginning of the Utah Legislature. When I was work employed by the State I always had my Advisory Board Meeting in January. I hated having the board meeting in January but that is just how things worked out—My December holidays were always a little blighted by the fact I always had the January board meeting on my mind.

Getting to February first also means I am one day away from my birthday—now a days that does not hold the excitement that reaching this day like it did the first ten years of my life, when I truly believed you could order the gifts you would get at your celebration. Now, truly it is a day I would soon forget especially the celebrations forced gatherings of family, usually if not on that day the closet weekend usually a Saturday. Sometimes at a restaurant you happened to mention once that you liked so now is your “favorite” or having everyone to your house for a dinner or cake and ice-cream. Some families make it some families don't do to geographical distance or work schedules. Sometimes there are gifts and other times you tell the kids just having their presence is presents enough.

Getting to February first also means that I am still alive and that is great as well as terrifying, tomorrow means I will have survived another year—tomorrow I will begin trying to survive my sixty third year. Now I understand what the cliche means Each day is a gift. This also means each day I could die and one day I will, sooner now then later. I am not trying to be grim this is just the way life is. I do not perseverate on this issue it is just there, always in the back of my mind like the January board meeting it is going to come.

Perhaps the most important meaning February first has to me is one twelfth of the year is gone and what the hell did you do? Are you making every day count, are you helping folks, are you taking care of yourself like there is no tomorrow? It's February if you're sick get the hell well, February is a short month then comes March and things begin to warm and Spring gets ready to make its appearance. The first part of the month is always cold and bleak but the second half can have some spectacular days, a prelude to Spring. So February can be the prelude to the best year of my life year 63 of my life= I like to be 63 !!

So I gotta get busy. I gotta be awake and alert I have to get active and I gotta get as healthy as I can. I gotta tag up on as many bases as I can and get ready to steal home if I have to. The clock is running and the sands are falling and I have only so many presents left to unwrap I best start enjoying all my gifts.