Take It On Home José

 

For some reason I can no longer get YouTube

 To play on my images that I post which is too bad. Today outplayed, of course, "Sky Pilot"By Eric Burden and the Animals– – Search for the music and play it, great video, great words

I don't know why I think people will live forever and I'm so shocked when I received word that they passed but I do. Today, I found out that my buddy José Rodriguez passed on a couple of days ago in Nampa Idaho. I don't think I really, as a rule, right tribute to my friends who died – – but maybe I do some degree. It's important to me that I knowledge them and how they fit into my life. Met José when I went to work with Dr. McIntyre at the neighborhood health clinics probably 1972. I went to work with the clinics after I finished an internship at state hospital in the Idaho. It was at the state hospital that I met Dr. McIntyre who was the medical director of the clinics after Mac retired from Idaho State School And Hospital (ISS & H).

I've talked about the clinics, I believe, in other parts of this blog But in short we had four clinics that we would circuit on every day during the week. José was our physicians assistant(P A), one of the first PA s In Idaho. Long story but José was a Vietnam vet/medic and went through the physician's assistants program in Texas. We had this great white Chevrolet van that we rode each day from clinic to clinic. Two hours in each clinic started in Boise and an ending in Homedale Idaho.For a long time it was José, the Captain and myself. Later we were joined by Mary the pharmacist and for very short while Betsy the nurse practitioner. José and I bonded very soon after the project started. We certainly bonded with Dr. McIntyre as well that he was selected grown up in the group. We certainly included Mac were ever we could and our antics, Like stealing apples on the Apple run back home from Homedale unsurpassed in the orchards. José totally supported me in cursing the community of Parma Idaho which we did each day at lunch hour. We rode from Nampa to Parma where we would have lunch served us from folks in the community. It was a splendid time a time when things are still pure as farce the clinic systems went. I only spent about 18 months with the clinic project. Capt. Mac and José of course spent a lot more time since they were actually real medical professionals. I was just the shrink even then it was somewhat questionable about what I brought to the system but Mac and José always protected me. They certainly had my back.

I'm feeling alone now. The time of my life is now completely gone. Mac by the number of months ago actually years ago and now José. It's hard to believe that part of my life is gone though it shouldn't be, great honk!I'm 70 years old what do I expect. José was not that much older than I was surprised that he's checked out already. He totally left medicine became a real sky pilot. I don't know if he was trying to impress McIntyre or maybe the Spirit did touch José let them away from medicine to caring for Hispanic populations in Mexico part of the year and then coming back to Caldwell/Nampa for the rest of the year, having congregations in each community. Frankly, this little hard for me to get my mind around but it's what José obviously wanted and felt that that's very needed to be. Both he and Mac were sky pilots and that's okay I've always been the odd man out and now I'm the only one left. “Sky pilot, how high can you fly? You'll never never touch the sky…”

It's A Principal Thing

 

It just seems more and more that my days get more expensive just to get by. I'm not complaining and I realize I'm very fortunate to be blessed with enough income, it seems, to meet my needs but still, I get vexed, worried and just plain frustrated. (I hope that wasn't too redundant). Today I had my teeth cleaned and that's to be expected I guess with good dental responsibility. In my new goal to be as proactive and responsible to myself and others as possible I am trying to do these things like teeth cleaning. So, in to the office I went on a cold blustery afternoon. Annette, is my dental hygienist, She is also the dentist's sister. Annette is nice and we had a fairly good fairly one-sided chat as she gouged them picked and cleaned. Of course, I'm going back to have the Doc look at some questionable issues around some of the teeth were trying to save. Anyway, my cost today was $69. I'm lucky as I can afford it but it seems like these teeth cleanings used to be covered by by insurance at least I was never charged for them. Going to have to check my policy and see. I shouldn't quibble so much was just the principle.

I just finished watching the news and was getting ready to get back to dictating letters to the grandkids I got a call from my wheelchair shop. I was figuring I would be getting this call sooner or later. I was anticipating them telling me that the parts for the wheelchair repair had come in but instead I was informed that my insurance would not cover the repairs. Which were relatively minor still would be around 500 bucks it including labor. It's kind of weird that the excuse insurance used was it was too soon to repair a brand-new chair which was pretty lame but I was not going to battle over it tonight. And once again I should be thankful that I could actually pay the 500 and not be too hurt, at least financially from the whole thing. I don't know if I've written about this issue but the box on the front of my chair is too big which makes turning difficult and forces the foot box against  the Castor or front wheel and chews it up. The cost to get new castors have the castors replaced, as wheelchair shop would like it would be around 200 bucks. I can get almost new castors or at least good used casters for just a few bucks each I think. I'll check that out tomorrow. The only problem I would have is getting someone to change the casters out. I've done it before but I just don't know who I would bother with this project I do have some options. And once again I could absorb the costs but it's just the whole issue of having to give my chair up for a day and all that entails as well as just giving socked for another half a grand just just doesn't seem right…

Moments Of My Life

 

I didn't hear back from the potential cleaning person so I guess it's a no go us to a housekeeper. I will continue my quest But I will up my game as far as trying to find somebody who can put some order to my own corner of chaos in this universe. Today the transition day what I mean is were going from a high-pressure system to a low-pressure system which I also think means truly the end of summer as we've known it and now true autumn begins. Clouds and wind today as the cold front claws its way in to the Valley. As of yet no thunder and lightning and I've seen but the software on the cell phone says “to be where and prepare to find shelter”. I suppose the software knows.

I started my kid letters, today,early for the month of October. I wanted to feel like I was doing something for today since I didn't have anything else on board that I can brightly justifies using my time today productively not that doing my cryptograms is a productive use of time. I could always justify my arm bike on a number of different levels most importantly the tire out my body/sleep better at night. I may have to reconsider my Sabbath day resting phenomenon. Now Sunday is the only day that I do not do my arm but not even for just a few minutes. Monday I slept lousy. I think I woke up at 3:15 AM on Monday morning and didn't really ever get back to sleep finally drag myself out of bed at about 5:55 AM. I made it through the day but it was difficult I did a lot of yawning. So I was quite surprised when this morning I looked at the clock and was 7:15 AM I never sleep to 7:15 AM. I remember waking about 4:15 AM downloading some water and then drinking some water And then tumbling back into bed wondering if I be able to get any sleep and sure enough it was about three hours later that I woke up… And that just never happens. So I think there is something in my exercise with your bike that says something about my ability to sleep. And I think I may have spoken to this at some other time in the blog but I don't know when or where I would find that posting. However, when I was working I did and take on a person with I think MS are some of the debilitating ongoing disease process who instilled upon me how important was to be physical to gain sleep. In the course of our intake he shared with me now that he was so disabled that he cannot even move the pedals to his arm bike the often suffers to the night not be able to sleep with spending way too much time about his pending demise. I don't know why but I left that interview, that they literally terrified and when I got home that evening double my time on the arm bike… Happily.

Off and on today we had significant cloud cover. It seems that it got darker much earlier than usual tonight which I think was the storm coming in and totally blocking the sun. But it was dark outside by 7 PM. I'm sitting at the computer in my darkened little corner typing away the minutes of my life and it feels like winter…

Pass Through

You know it's really great to be just a block away from the Village Inn or my other restaurant Dee's. A place to go at a moments notice to have a fast dinner or just drink coffee and visit with an old friend. I'm just back from the latter. Around five PM I got a call from my old boss/supervisor Dave. Remember Dave? He's the ex-pat living in Mexico just over the border. He's been up in Idaho for the past three weeks attending to family business and enjoying a high school reunion which should've been last year but because of Covid had been put off to this year. David was calling to tell me that you'd be in the Salt Lake area around 6:38 PM and should we get together? I just finished a BLT so I didn't really feel like dinner but we wanted to do a fast visit. They wanted to get to a city in Nevada to spend the night before going on to California/Mexico tomorrow.

I think I made David feel a little weird because all I was having was coffee. I thought about having pie but just couldn't bring myself to eat anymore tonight after the BLT. I've been up since 3:15 AM I don't know why I was up so early but I couldn't get back to sleep but I've gotten through the day okay but now my eyes are getting pretty heavy feeling a little bit like sandpaper. It'skind of fun though being at the Village Inn in the evening. It's a much more grown up feeling then having lunch. The staff is still the same the server who always attends to our writing group service she was just as nice as ever. I felt like I was in a movie script somehow. Two old guys meeting up at the local diner talk about the twists and turns of their life especially during this time of Covid and weird politics. David politely asked about how my life was going and how I was doing. Mine of course was a fast answer: I'm doing fine everything's great and that's about it. Whereas David had been super busy for three weeks not only the reunion but visiting lots of people he hadn't seen for some time. He truly was having an adventure but actually his whole life at this point is an adventure. The best story Dave had to tell was losing the back bumper off of his vehicle he didn't even know it until about two hours later. He backed into a pole the night before and I just loosened up the bumper and so it fell off as he was driving on interstate. It was quite an adventure. Of course it's the back bumper to bumper that houses the vehicle's license plate so you got a have it. He stopped at the Highway Patrol and reported the incident and was hoping that they would be able throw the bumper and the back of their vehicle and bring it down to him but that was a no go. I was surprised to huge bumper. He finally had to call a wrecking company sent a truck out and picked up the bumper and then had one of his kids reinstall the bumper on to his vehicle. The cost of 100 bucks which I guess is not that bad of a deal could've been so much worse. I thought the story was interesting I would never have known what to do in a situation like that. What always fascinates me is that what I think is a unique and one-time occurrence is relatively commonplace for the people who have to do with them on a regular basis.

David ordered a breakfast of course a spinach omelette, which looked pretty good, I was surprised with the gusto he attacked his breakfast/dinner. I we should been hungry. I turned them loose little later with a brand-new cup of coffee and said our goodbyes and the parking lot wishing each other safe travels and cautions against the Covid in hopes the see each other again soon at the Village In…

Ninja Duck Overlords

 Today was another zoom day, following breakfast of course, Mark Anthony takes the daughter home following breakfast and comes back with his scooter intact ready to go. I'm getting a little burned out about area and is part of the woods to explore. We've done a lot of searching a lot of exploring neighborhoods. I am surprised that law enforcement hasn't been called up the question is to folks which keeps showing up in their neighborhoods on Sunday mornings. I'm sure we look like were casing the place. Well so far no one has asked us to leave. My butt was a little tender today so I was going to try to opt for a short zoom hopefully just across the park to the canal to feed the ducks I was so pleased who had returned last week. I want to make sure that I give them a good welcome home. So I gathered up all the bread products that I've had taken around the table for the last couple weeks we had a pretty good stash of hotdog buns and hamburger buns. Off we went out the front door across the driveway and into the park. I thought sure they would be there but alas the ducks were gone well supported a bag of stale bread products not gone moldy. Well Mark Anthony didn't want to see his aging father heartbroken to played the ducks. He knew the place just down the road should be some ducks there. So, what turned I thought was going to be a short trip across the park feed the ducks there and done turned out to be a 2 mile jaunt almost 10 Salt Lake blocks south to it turned out to be fairly nice duck sanctuary. Sanctuary is a bit formal but there is definitely set aside for ducks of all kinds. White ducks, traditional green and white ducks, black and white and gray mix, stately Canadian geese and some totally black ninja ducks which had never seen before. What was really weird the ducks didn't seem too interested at first in the food offerings. I thought it could have been my imagination but I thought I saw a couple of the ducks looking back over their shoulders (ducks have shoulders). Finally, I guess caution gave into white bread and soon a menagerie of quackers were beginning to crowd around the area allows throwing broken pieces of hot dog bun into. As I was anticipating I quite enjoyed the exercise of being the dominant species benevolentlyfeeding the lesser species. All sudden there was a commotion upstream and I swear a power push of these black ducks in black and white ducks put a major press on the group of ducks feeding off our bread. I mean it actually caused waves ahead of the black menagerie. Major squawking which sounds definitely like threats ensued and all of our little ducks cleared out as fast as they could get some even flying I couldn't believe it. The rogue ducks actually set up a perimeter and for the longest while swam back and forth in front of the area where we were feeding the ducks. Eventually, this group got bored or whatever and left and we continued to throw bread out there in a few the other ducks finally came back but nothing like it was before. I really think they thought they are being watched in someone's definitely taking names. I wish had had my video running. Hopefully, in the near future my my ducks will back on our own little bitch/canal across the driveway and through the park which will be just ducky if you ask me…

90 Days And Counting

Can you believe it three months from now, three much from this very day it will be Christmas! Deck the Halls with shotgun Charlie Fa Lala Lala Lala law! People just hate it when I do that, remind them that it's just 90 days till Christmas. Granted, I tend to do that every 25th of the month when I was working I think I warm down eventually. The probably hated Christmas for the time I transitioned out of my worklife stealth kind exciting don't you think. Christmas time, shortest day of the year (daylight that is) Christmas lunches and Christmas parties – – maybe he'll come back now that everybody's getting their vaccinations in the boosters – – on if I can say all you want for Christmas is my booster shot. That's actually got some rhythm could be a pawn could be a song or possibly both. But you'd never know it from today. 85° not a cloudless sky what a great fall afternoon. I celebrated the autumn afternoon by jumping the bus and going into Costco. I really do have a love-hate relationship with this store. Everything was perfect a bus driver gave me a courtesy stop right across the way from IHC hospitals which is between me and the Costco. And for the first time I actually had my membership card pretty well exposed so when I got there the checker didn't have to give me the evil eye and asking for my card. Like I would even try to bust into Costco. Nothing they have would make me want to risk that silly phenomenon. I pretty much knew what I wanted but still just got a roll up and down the aisles and see what they offer it's amazing. I really wanted to buy some flank steak. And I could do it after all got space of my credit card. I could buy that $40 plus package of meat I just could not bring myself to purchase it. I think it be fun to unroll the flank chop it up in the figure stakes. I might do it come the first of next month as my October treat. I mean it looks like three flank stage rolled up together in this package so theoretically I could process one of the roll ups and then freeze the other two for other cooking days. Linda Bell 40 bucks seems like a lot I guess when you break it down to three stakes and I do make a stick last for a whole week. It's not such a bad deal. And I could do it I just find it hard to spend… I know I have issues. Having said that I did purchase a bunch of grapes that looked pretty good, a roast beef package which is really too small roasts individually wrapped and packaged in the roast itself is thinly sliced for anything from Asian food to roast beef sandwiches to just expensive snacking. I've had this treat before. It's really worth the money it's all cooked ready to go it's nice to have his backup but I still am more in love with cooking my own beef and enjoying it my way. That was really all that I did today. I spent all afternoon shopping actually. Another perfect bus ride and started a new Robert Ludlum novel. I may have set up too long on my butt but I will need to be responsible and do some reclining tonight into better wash dishes it's a tossup…

Friday Afternoon Movie

Friday.  The weather is still quite nice during the day. Pretty cool mornings but warming to be a delightful in the afternoon. Today was picture-perfect in that area so much so that after I finished my morning routine even including my arm bike for 30 minutes I decided to head down south to 5400 S. and check out the Regal theater. I hadn't totally planned on a movie more than just really asking some questions about a program I'm trying to get involved in. For $18 a month I can go to was many movies at the theater that I desire. This is great for me because I really do like to watch a movie numerous times. I'd gone through all the steps to register for the program but held off until I can actually get the theater and ask some questions about how the program actually worked. I spoke with the employee of the theater and I basically finished the process outside of the theater as I waited for the movie I was interested in to open seating. I wore my heavy duty filter mask today because I knew I was going to ride the bus and they're pretty sticky on the whole mask wearing idea, which is okay by me since I do not need a sucker punch for the Fall. Redwood Road is a fast-forward or I never have to wait long so I luxuriated in front of my bus stop with my chair folded back and enjoying the autumn sun warming we thoroughly which was good because later at the movie I really wish that I had brought a jacket or something because they were still running their air-conditioning systems. The bus trip was good fast including no problems to speak of, no unruly riders's very nice driver for a perfect Friday trip. I have to admit I was kind of distressed there were no milk duds at the concession stand. Had I known this I would've gone to one of the dollar stores picked up a box of Milk Duds or two. I was really planning on no popcorn this visit and I stopped at a burger joint on the way to the theater and still have half a burger stuck under my black bag. Since I just finished purchasing my membership there was not showing up on the Regal's computer screens. So they let me in without incident and I purchased soft drink, a small $6.95 a mix of Pepsi free and a shot of Mountain Dew. I was set. Nothing crazy happened, no fistfights, the rule about five other people in the theater with me, no noisy talkers or unruly teenagers. Just me and my hamburger, mixed drink a kind of wish that gotten the popcorn but I figured I was okay. “Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. The movie was okay I don't know if I'll watch it again anytime soon but I could if I wanted and that's the beauty of $18 a month all the movies you can watch at the Regal

Thursday Night Food Dump

Thursday evening and I'm waiting patiently for big Jim, the ex-New Yorker who lives on the third floor, but also volunteers every day at the food bank, I don't know if it's just because he's a nice guy are exactly what that usually he appears around 6 o'clock with a trunk full of food from where Jim works. Just become part of event is not controversial. The action brings a lot of good stuff that we don't see usually from food bank Saturday stuff. Jim brings fresh produce as well as so-called foodstuff even if it's frozen. The controversy has impounded from residency show up waiting for Jim to bring this stuff than the swarm over at grabbing way more than they need/deserve. There's been some inference made that there scavenging this food for their family members who do not live here and then the function could use it don't go to the Thursday night dump all left out in the cold. There's also from a local churches, bread product which includes hamburger and hot dog buns lots and lots of cookies, cakes and other pastries which none of us need but all of us love.

I'm back! I guess I spent too much time writing the first paragraph of tonight's post and the time I got back to the Community Room big Jim was living in the Thursday night Carrion had already scarfed all the really good stuff. A nice size container of grapes, red table grapes, a couple nice hard loaves of bread what they call it artesian bread. No cakes or pies that I saw this week a couple sacks of cookies however (I actually got a hold of one of them one of the patrons took pity on me and gave me for small packages of potato chips and cookies). Also, there was a stack of small cans of tonic water. No one knows what to do with it except me – – none of them drink. I do like gin and tonic I have a whole bottle of Tanqueray that I've been holding onto for more than a year. I just can't seem to bring myself to drink alone and there's no one else around here to drink with. Perhaps it's best. I don't know maybe tomorrow if the stack of cans of tonic water are left to go grab a couple just so all have backup in case I ever need it.

It's been a long day and I'm tired. I really haven't done a whole heck of a lot. It's Thursday which means coffee social in the morning and this afternoon was a Zoom meeting. I kind of like the meeting today it wasn't too bad for Zoom meeting. Was able to see a couple friends I haven't seen since the Covid started.. So I haven't done enough to really be tired except I am. I hate to go to bed before 10 PM because then I do wake up early which makes the day long and exhausting perhaps maybe it's all my head maybe I'm just old and this is what happens to old people. All I know is that it's very weird the sometimes just a little bit spooky…

Breathing Deep For Nothing At All

 

I hate it when I build tolerance to something, sometimes. It seems like I built tolerances to things that I look forward to like Valium or diazepam and today I'm finding out with some disappointment that I am building, what I think, is a tolerance to laughing gas or more formally Nitrous oxide. I know a spoken about this before but today's a whole different aspect.

I really didn't do much this morning just because it's my program morning which means I don't even see my home health person tell 8:30 AM or later and usually it's later. So even if Tristan shows up at 8:30 AM and all goes well done by 9:30 AM but still 10 AM before I get out and start doing stuff possibly. I just have to accept this because Tristan is the best of good be able to do right now and nothing gets Tristan, the latter is actually quite good, efficient and relatively dependable. I spend my mornings waiting and then trying to get on with my day. Eventually, I see the day coming, but I'm going to have to get somewhat aggressive and start demanding for our earlier program time. 6 AM would be nice but I doubt that's going to happen 7 AM is not bad either in fact that might be most doable, for me, allowing me to get up shaven stuff and even do a little housecleaning before my my home health person gets here. This morning went fine no problems then I had to just really, weight around until 1:30 PM when I had to go over to the dentist's office for my emergency repair.

I really like this dentist of all of his staff and best yet they like me.Whenever I emerge from the side door into the office I since there'd genuinely glad to see me. For a short period of time just a second or two everything stops people gather around me asked me how I'm doing, ask what I'm doing their, I have an appointment let me know that everything is just about ready to go. At some point Dr. Anderson wanders by welcomes me as well and they guide me to the middle chair which is where they made room for me beside this middle chair that I can drive my power chair into then tell myself back and get ready. Of course, they asked me if I'll be wanted the nitric oxide and of course I say “of course”. Usually it's Cindy the puts the nose thing on my face turns the faucet and I inhaled deeply. The last couple of times I've gone under however I've asked to see if there turned very faucet on or maybe the hose was kinked basically meaning that I'm not getting high or not getting high enough. Today was similar I breathe deeply but nothing seems to happen. I know that everything is working Cindy even checks the gauges to make sure I'm getting “flow”. I just don't single launch. This is okay just kind of sad. Luckily today I didn't even have any Novocain. There was some minor drilling but I guess nothing deep enough to get close to a nerve which is okay by me. I'm just kind of bummed because the nitric oxide didn't work or maybe it did work and I've gotten so used to the high that's no longer high it's just me in the dentist chair breathing deeply on a rush that won't come…

Learn the The Lesson Well

 

I thought sure I had written something before regarding how I becoming convinced that this world we live in, this veil of tears, is nothing but a pass fail test. This is good! Don't get me wrong as a study year of psychology and having messed with a lot of tests will my favorite professors was convinced the best testing system was pass/fail. He even built his one class around this very concept developed nine or 10 exams and had backups of those exams so the individual took the exam until he passed it. It basically could fail as long he needed until the past exams. I've become a believer over the years. I'm really beginning to believe that however this earth is governed spiritually or whatever the whole thing, this whole lifecycle, is nothing more than a giant pass fail test.

Learning to use my teeth for just eating, chewing and fighting is my test and today I think I have finally passed.

This morning as I was getting ready to dress myself – – it's Tuesday no help from the outside today. This means I have to loop my foot in a device that allows me to pull my leg up over my other leg to put on my shorts and my shoes. This is quite an arduous task for me. I'm so thankful I can do this but it is taking a toll on me. I want to blame to do wheelchair for the problem I'm not sure what it is but all I know is that it's getting more and more difficult to lift my leg over the other one that a lot of hocus-pocus and use of my power chair different chair shifting scenarios. The problem however this morning, and up trying to really really trying to do this procedure without using my mouth more explicitly by teeth. When I had good teeth, front teeth, what I would often do is raise my foot as high as I could with my leg lift system, which allows to lift my leg just so high that I have to bite down on the strap and use my free hands to pull my leg up the rest of the way. Remember a couple weeks ago when I had that emergency dental thing on my front tooth broke off? I had somehow broken my tooth, a tooth which had been repaired once before. I may have been doing the foot thing I can't remember for sure all I know is that I noticed a piece of tooth on the floor and then realized the front part of my tooth said fallen off. Since then I really have been trying to not weaken and use my mouth or teeth in the dressing process. I use my teeth on Sunday I think in the first time in a long while and got away with it. And the day trying the procedure again as soon as I bit down on the strap And applied a little pressure against my spasm the whole front of the tooth just popped off. Fortunately, there is no pain involved but what's left of the tooth is rugged sharp and jagged. Immediately, I realize there's another visit to Dr. Anderson's office. Another couple hundred I'm sure but the point is I think I finally learned my lesson. As my Ex always always told me “Teeth are not tools!”. I could yammer on about how nobody knows how difficult it is to be quadriplegic and have to have other ways of holding stuff even for the moment but you know what Dianne was/is right… Teeth are not tools. Tomorrow, I have an appointment to have the tooth fixed which I totally believe Anderson can do. So far he's been a magician in my mouth…

Long Sleeve T's Please

 

Unbelievable! I'm sitting here hunched over my keyboard with my heater turned on struggling to bring the temperature up to 74°. Last night the little cold front came through which turned out to be real cold front. No clouds, no rain just cool temperatures that you stop moving it's only 60° and I just got back from the market but I chose to wear long sleeves this morning and I'm so glad that I did not need to start searching for my watch/stocking. I know I keep boobing about global warming but where is it when you need it?

Remember, I watch that batch of close on Friday, I wash the sheets that were drenched with the blood from my discharging hemorrhoid? It was a fairly small load the two sheets two pairs of shorts and T-shirts you know just two days of living but I didn't get to the folding of those close until this morning as I waited for my home health guide to show up. The first time I've done that and months waited that long. I personally think it was the cold front coming. I knew the last of the good days were at hand and now winter is upon us. Oh, I know even now NPR has predicted a warming trend for the next couple of days nothing like 90s but probably middle 80s at the best and I can live with that it's just the knowledge that another seasons past as I look forward to my 70^th fall and winter. I plan to enjoy every second of every minute of the next couple of seasons. So as I was hanging up my short sleeved T-shirts I did a quick review of my longsleeved tees. I've got some, actually quite a bit, and I think they're going to fit better this season the last – – I think I lost some weight at least that's what I've been told – – but I wouldn't mind a few more long sleeves just to get by as well as look good. I'm going to do some searching to see if I can find any Marvel long sleeves. I do not necessarily want to go as heavy as a sweatshirt but a couple longsleeved tees at least. Perhaps a captain America star, and Ironman or something from Guardians of the Galaxy or maybe a collection of everybody slammed onto the front of A longsleeved T. They would all be cool if not expensive but seriously what else to spend my money on?

I've made the call looks like will have a meeting tomorrow at Assist, Inc. so the ride downtown for sure which I think might be nice. Like I said the evening will be cool but the day should warm fairly quickly. Maybe, go out for some lunch clam chowder or meat stick from taco time either of which would suit me fine. Then back home to maybe do some floor mopping are swifting. I really spent all weekend sweeping the floors are trying to strip the floors of the apartment I've done pretty good. If I can keep them from crumbs or whatever long enough to mop that would be great. Mark Anthony is actually contacted his friend who does housekeeping and she is going to come over not tomorrow but Tuesday next and do a run through the apartment will have to see how well that goes. But I'm excited I think for the first time I'm going to be happy with a clean apartment…

Good Roots -Good Tree

 

For me there is kind of an excitement in the air. I woke up to blustery autumn winds. Not necessarily cold but not necessarily hot either. A noncommittal, right in the middle, temperature kind of a morning. Were clouds about expected but no rain or other meteorological bugaboos to threaten the day. I slept better than the night before but still waking at 3 AM and only spottily got back to anything resembling sleep but yet I'm feeling pretty decent. Today I got a 2-for-1 two bodies, One in the granddaughter. This so refreshing to be past the point of formalities with my offsprings And One of course Little Mark. Especially with the granddaughter who I can even tell his glad to see me when we get together and voluntarily gives the hugs because she wants to not because of some ritual demanding that she must because of my spot in the family line. What a joy! We've gone to this restaurant enough, it seems every Sunday this summer, they know who we are and what we need. We still go through the ritual of requesting “coffee all around” and menus. It pretty much order the same thing however this week I changed a little bit and got the sausage gravy and biscuits. The gravy and biscuits were not as good as I hoped but good enough for a Sunday morning.

Mark Anthony was all excited today he was having a zoom meeting with the Russians. A group of individuals he is somehow linked up with via the Internet. He feels The Zoom meetings are a collaboration Of two cultures trying to learn each other's language and using technology to meet that goal. I am of course a concerned parent but trying to keep my place as an interested parent willing to support the project. However in my minds eye I'm reliving discussions of CIA KGB and other secret organizations casting for individuals. So we had the breakfast and Mark took the granddaughter home but came back later excited to zoom around the neighborhood which is always fun. Today we went about 4 miles which is not a record but it's a good workout for the power chair.We tried to stick around the neighborhood to some degree. In truth I must admit I'm looking at widening their stride and going to other territories which I believe I've outlined another posts. We stopped along the way while traversing through this neighborhood by the fence in this tree. I was immediately intrigued by the root system that was showing. I wondered how far the roots reached into the ground to keep this tree from toppling over. I was impressed though the roots that are exposed above the surface of the ground seemed to be a giant hand grasping the dirt holding on with all its might especially the day during the autumn winds. I was intrigued enough to take an autumn image. It's a good image but still does not convey the strength these roots exhibit clinching the dirt trying to survive the change of seasons waiting and hoping for a time to sleep under the cold winds and deep snow of Winters night…

Saturday Night Thoughts

 

But actually really felt like fall/autumn to be. A minor cold front wandered through with actual clouds is morning and brief bits of rain here and there. Of course, nothing significant the rain with the winds certainly made the day feel cold. It was an illusion of course the winds are actually pretty warm. The most productive thing I did today was to wash my sheets from the disastrous week I had. I had my substitute, substitute, Gloria on Friday changed the sheets to my bed first time a long time but more importantly get the bloody sheets off and into the wash before the blood sets any further than it already has. My other goal for the day was to clean the apartment is much as I can. This of course did not go very far although I have worked on the project off and on all day just seems so hard to make any progress. I don't know it's me, the apartment are some greater force than I working against my notion of need for a clean apartment. I would settle for just cleaner not necessary clean.

In full disclosure I must admit that I've structured by day around a number of MCU movies. I must admit I'm addicted to marvel and its universe. It often almost frightens me how often I watch these movies At the cost of doing something productive with my day. Today I use the rain/clouds and wind as a significant rationale to enjoy my movies. I don't know how much I would say this productive but I even put together a fairly significant breakfast. I have half of baked potato from the state from the other day, onions, green pepper. Our Fridays altogether of course adding a couple tablespoons of fresh cottage cheese and a heaping spoon of sour cream. It was a fun exercise which are spring the fact of the Joy of cooking. Four eggs added to the fried potatoes and vegetables makes a pretty big whatever it is, it's not an omelette though kind of is what really not and is not scrambled eggs because it's a mixture whatever it is I half of them saved the other half for sometime next week. I will not be tomorrow of course Mark Anthony's already checked in going to breakfast once again. Temperature should be cooler than usual with the low front that's marching through. I'm a little nervous however Mark Anthony has really begin to share with me his infatuation with everything Russian. It sounds like tomorrow he's putting together a Zoom get together with a number of his Russian friends. I must admit I'm a little nervous on the number of levels but will have to see where it goes I have met a couple of his contacts once or twice last week. I guess what worries me most is that I have this mental image Of a number of CIA boys tracking our phone calls and whatever they do when they feel that somebody's been somewhat questionable. That's the one side the other side is I little concerned about what if it's the Russians trying to play Mark as an in to the American system. I don't know but I'll go through with the meeting tomorrow and see how it feels. One can never have too many friends. So I still have to finish my last Avenger movie for the evening then get to bed. On a sweep up the kitchen a little bit before and then maybe sweep the other floors tomorrow at some point. I haven't done much distance this weekend. Likely tomorrow I may put some miles on but it won't be much I'm thinking of not charging my battery tonight… Just because

.

Friday Flashback

 

Just a note about yesterday's blood flow, everything seems to be better today. I had my home health person check everything out this morning during my shower to set everything looks good no evidence of any bleeding or blood accumulations through the night. I guess I'm okay. I still plan to follow up with my MD or one of his residents. I think I've sat on this way too long… Excuse the pun I may need to have some intervention of one sort or another.

Yesterday I had the meeting with my occupational therapist durable medical technician/specialist from the wheelchair shop going over my new chair performance and tweaks and hopefully making the chair more livable. I have to admit I came away from the meeting a little bit more hopeful that have been for some time. This also means that I'm going to have to give the chair up for at least one day while they perform the tweaks necessary to make the chair a bit more livable. I've got a decent backup chair now so being without my main ride is not as dramatic as I once felt.

It has been along 50 years actually 55 years! I have to say that I feeling pretty fortunate that I had my accident when I did in the middle of my adolescence. I think being a teenager, full of magical thinking and the belief in miracles and refusal to accept what seems to have been quite evident was that I was never going to walk again which is probably the same as never be a normal again whatever normal means. I of course, like everybody else, was in denial the first couple of years of my life as a person with a disability. After the initial trauma, in-house rehabilitation then outpatient rehab and then figuring out how is going to continue my education. I was kind of in denial. Back home at the farm I was quite a ways away from what I considered the world. There is hardly any sidewalk just just from our driveway to the front door every thing else hardpacked dirt or grass. I could get by pretty much okay but it was a lot of work. I don't know how much in denial my mom and dad were at the time. I dad actually built a set of parallel bars which sat on the side of my home which I actually pulled myself up into a number of times a week and started at one end of bars turning at the end then walking back. I got to the point for I could do with a number of times before my leg started giving out and was forced to sit down. I did this for about a year before I realized it wasn't getting any better I was just doing an exercise. I did other futile exercises as well finally realizing I wasn't walking again in better just get on with life. Which I did. However, there are a number of images taken of me during this period which actually, if I do say so myself, didn't turn out half bad. I played a lot of fantasy games in my head all I walk through the parallel bars don't think it hurt me and only made me stronger…

Out Damned Spot

 

I rarely sleep well on Thursdays which is too bad because it's one of those days I can actually sleep in not having to wait for my home health professional to come and do the jobs. So it doesn't really shocked me when I wake up as I did the day at 3:30 AM and felt that it really did back to sleep. Truth is I did which I'm grateful but it didn't feel like I did going through the process. But this was just a prelude to the terror I experienced at 6:30 AM when I did get up and transfer into my chair. I was somewhat pleased because it was a fairly good transfer especially from the perspective of feeling pretty secure once I planted my butt into the chair. Sometimes I feel at risk when I make the transfer until I could get my butt shifted into the back of the chair seat that I know I'm secure. But as I was turning for my bed something caught my eye and I look back and sure enough scarlet red streaked over my bed's chucks(Disposable pads) the end the linen saver I use to try to protect my sheets from any problems I might have during the night,I also noticed patches of blood on the far side of the mattress not protected by the chucks. Then I noticed there was what looked like fresh blood on the arm of my chair, which I have to transfer over to get into the chair from the bed.

As I said I was immediately terrified not knowing where this blood was coming from. I could not fathom it coming from pressure sores as I've been so hyper vigilant the past couple of months. I've been so proud of myself, applying the salve, I put on my butt Usually every night and morning. The processes become a ritual and I believe it's really done some good. I gingerly touched my butt feeling for open wounds that I found none. The only thing I can think of which may have happened was a ruptured blood vessel in my rectal area. Bleeding hemorrhoids is nothing new to me especially at toilet time. However, to my knowledge have never had a bleeding hemorrhoid event while in bed. I'm still trying to examine my memory to see if I may have ruptured it somehow during the transfer but I don't think that I did. Needless to say it was totally freaked out especially since I knew there must be blood all over my butt and there is no way to take care of it because I don't have a home health person come in until tomorrow Friday. I was confused and conflicted not knowing how severe are serious this whole event was. Now that I was sitting in my chair I didn't know follow need to go back to bed and see what happened or did I need to call 911 and have emergency people come out. I thought about calling my home health company but never went through with that not knowing for sure what to say. I thought about maybe contacting my brother or even my son to come over and assess the damage and see if they felt the need to go in. The hour was getting close to 6:30 AM when I decided I would just call my internist knowing there is no way in hell I was going to get Nathan but just to see. Of course I got the answering service after a significant amount of time and then after explaining to the answering service they contacted Nathan's resident on-call who actually called me back and we discussed the situation. She finally came around my line of thinking that it must've been hemorrhoids. I did not feel any pain I was not running the temperature and now that I was up I didn't feel any dampness or blood underneath me and I reached down and checked. She advised me to continue on with my day (which included a trip to Tosh (the orthopedic surgical hospital) to evaluate my new chair and see what we can do to make it more livable for me. I did not want to miss this event. So gingerly I got myself dressed and went to Thursday morning coffee social coffee and eventually took the bus over to the surgical hospital.

It's been a busy busy day and somewhat traumatic for me. On top of everything else though as I sit on this questionable wound or whatever I stomachs begin to gurgle and even begin to squirt a little just a little mind you. I'm going to try to make it through the night hopefully without any incidents of explosive bowel. I don't know if I'll be able to pull it off we shall see. Maybe if I took one of those anti-diarrhea pills that might stop the process of the gurgling. But I don't want to do anything to interfere with my bowel movement in the morning. I'm so conflicted. I just hope the blood is from hemorrhoids exploding which I think can be taken care of.. I hope I have not grossed you out that was not my intention but I used to know what else to write about today. I don't want to write off the whole day I hate that is everyday special and precious and just because I bled the bed and maybe even poop the pants I can't blame the day which just was…

What Could Have Been?

Remember last week I wrote about Trish, the person here at the apartments who is putting together the annual “yearbook” and asked for an image from my youth and I supplied a rather hairy image taken from our past? I love that image. Now Trish wants me to write a paragraph or something as to what I was up to during that time for a little bit about my history around that picture. I'm putting together a mental paragraph right at this point in time which am sure might be worth a post of the blog for another point in time. This post or today's post is about another image of me that I came across while researching images for the Trish project.

This image is 1966 early in the summer probably about the middle of June approximately a month before my accident (I almost said “fatal”). Thank God it was not fatal that would've made writing tonight's blog difficult but possibly a lot more spiritual. I love the way I looked in this image tough young guy always a thought I was. I felt like any number of Billy Joel songs that he sings about his youth. Looked at my face behind those heavy rimmed glasses and my arms hanging out of the cut of sweatshirt I was wearing says it all. I was trying to be cool and for a split second set summer I kind of pulled it off. My older brother left with my other older brother and his wife to drive back to North Carolina was going to spend a year. This ended for some reason after the accident. He returned home to a destroyed motorcycle and a pretty much destroyed brother. He mourned his motorcycle. Hey, no hard feelings after all are pretty much stole his motorcycle. I have to admit I pretty much wrote the hell out of it until that fateful day in July when it rode the hell out of me. I guess I got my non-monies worth. Succinctly, my brother returned home got into some trouble than of the Vietnam. I would been so self absorbed with my disability and life is probably only been in the last 10 years that I realized that I may have been the reason for his near fatal turn of events. Luckily, we're both still alive and friends and brothers. I've often to verbalize that had I not been run over I'm sure I would've got in trouble with the law and possibly killed and I cannot see myself sidestepping Vietnam. I'm sure I would've somewhere along the line ended up pretty much like I am now if not worse “pushing up daisies”.

I know I'm pretty shallow but I have to admit I really liked wearing that body. Everything worked, I ran, jumped, danced, pitched hay, Swam, rode my bike and in general love life. There's a couple other images taken during that time that I really enjoyed. One where I'm sitting at the card table set up putting together a 1/25 size model of a big deuce. It's a hot rod vehicle that ask for for Christmas, and actually got. I'm wearing a T-shirt and I'm in pretty good shape after all Christmas happens in the middle of wrestling season. I think I was in the ninth grade. I don't moon over these images but I do like them and wonder What could have been…?

We Were Once Lions

 

It's been one of those days where I've been kind of lost in thought and reminiscing a great deal about my high school years. This last weekend was my high school graduating classes 50 and 51^st year reunion. The reunion should have happened last year but because of Covid the event was canceled until this year. Had I lived in Boise I don't know if I would've gone to the reunion are not. I may have but I'm still somewhat confused as to my high school allegiance. The dedicated reader knows that because of the spinal cord injury I received in the summer of my freshman/sophomore year, I get confused but over the summer before I was to start high school I had the wreck. I was supposed to go to Boise high school as far as my school boundary goes. But because I sustained spinal cord injury and could not walk therefore using a wheelchair for mobility I was “sentenced” to do my time at Borah High School The crosstown rival. Not only that was because I lost a year while in rehabilitation I missed year school. I should have graduated in 1969. I found it accepted Borah high as my high school as well as the classic 1970 as my graduation group. And I guess what really threw me into my reminiscing funk was that of course all the images from events regarding the reunion have begun posting online. Really is interesting to see those folks. I did it right there did you see that I said “those folks”. I'll bet you had I gone to Boise high – – somehow – – I would've use the same verbiage.

One of my good friends through those high school years was a buddy named David Rogers. We are part of a group that went early-morning seminary – – a religious education program by the LDS church that adolescents are expected to attend from ninth grade to graduation of high school – – after the morning class we would sit in early study hall before the bell rang for classes to begin. Later on we even were roommates which is another post entirely. Anyway, sometime this weekend I texted my friend asking if he had attended any of the reunion activities. I got a resounding “NO!”. David indicated if I had attended then perhaps he would've attended as well. He did not come right out and say it but I got the impression there is really no enduring wanted to see. I don't necessarily understand that but I kind of do. As I scrolled through the images from the reunion I realize these are the same people who were on most of the images in any the yearbooks for my high school years. Not that these were necessarily the “pretty people” of high school but there for sure the ones in drill team, pep, all associated sports etc. These are the overachievers. I was impressed even now how nice these guys looked how their cothes. I would probably look kind of dumpy compared to these guys. I don't know if that's what David felt but I would not be surprised. I've certainly not accomplished with some of these folks have. Had I been a Boise and had I elected to go to the reunion I would've probably called David and arranged to go with him and actresses working man as we endured the country club or wherever the reunion took place. I also believe we would've had a good time regardless of any snubbing were any other social demeaning slights. And I'm really not giving my fellow schoolmates credit. They would probably be great and excited to see both of us. After all were all Borah Lions…

Watery Eyes Snuffy Nose

My tree about 10 o'clock this morning I can feel it beginning to change

It's Monday I know, we are about a week away from autumn equinox which will be 22 September this year. For some reason I think my allergies have kicked in and somehow I think it's related to the upcoming event. I don't know this is what kicked off my symptoms are not the last night or rather this morning very early like 3:30 AM I woke and never really got back to sleep. Stuffy head and feeling of impending doom. I had the weirdest thought process of trying to figure out a way to go to my daughter's wedding which is sometime in November. It seems like things are so much more clear-cut and doable immediately upon waking. Thank goodness once I did get up (at 6 AM) reality begin to sift back into my view. I play with the idea that for instance far to go to Michelle's wedding, I would just do my program the morning of the day I would fly out which could give me as much as three days fight into another program till I got back. Would you me outdated travel a day for the wedding and the return trip. It's when I start thinking about what other items I might need like how will I deal with my power chair not only flying (I've heard so many horror stories of power chair destroyed, gone missing on their own flights etc.) that I just don't want to open myself to that risk. Even if that did work out, you get from the airport to Michelle's place and is the wedding venue in the other places that are going to be event functions accessible? I will not have a power bed which I use provided way of life. Perhaps, we could rent a lift of some sort and somebody could help me in and out of the bed and whatever. Just too many things to think about bringing about my first and foremost frame of mind how disabled by am and what a lucky guy am to be living as independent as I am in this narrow band of access that I have open to me. Mark Anthony, volunteered the trip and that could be a possibility if I was using a manual chair. I can't see me using a manual chair only for three days. I could possibly do it but once again I have to deal with going to an environment that's probably less than accessible to my needs. If possible you have access to a lift. The manual chair I have access to is my old beat up thing which again would be very uncomfortable if not impossible to try to survive in for a couple days. Still however this is all somewhat intriguing and I'm going to have to ponder further have a couple discussions with the kids. I doubt that I will do it but what if…? Remember what I said about waking up feeling that the equinox is upon me? When I will looked out over my patio and saw my tree across the way I could just tell my tree was getting ready to do the fall dance. The large trees over to the right of mine look like they've already began to turn. I guess I'm ready to see the summer go but I don't have to like it…

Sundays Zoomer's

 

Another Sunday morning and another breakfast at D's restaurant, the spelling is actually Dees, a Salt Lake fixture for I don't know how many decades. Today was just Mark and me sometimes the granddaughter, Jasmine joins us which is always fun. Is going great for me to get to know Jasmine much more personal level than I ever thought I would have the opportunity for. Hopefully, our relationship is turning into one right can be like the grandfather on Sloop John B. I doubt that will ever go sailing together but sometimes just hanging out is an adventure in itself. Mark and I usually go what we call “zooming” which is picking a certain area of the neighborhood and then rolling down all the very aspects of the neighborhood, Mark uses electric scooter and me of course in the power chair going as fast as I can. It's really kind of fun but we've pretty much done all the neighborhoods in the area around my apartment complex. I would like to jump a bus with Mark or meet him somewhere like downtown Salt Lake are up in the avenues or even University of Utah campus.

Downtown Salt Lake be a blast, early on a Sunday morning zooming up and down streets and particularly back alleys where you can see stuff usually kept from view of the public. There is so much places we could go and great places to have breakfast even. It's been decades since I had a breakfast at Market St., Grill for example. I suppose the breakfasts are pretty much the same as anywhere else I mean after all breakfast is breakfast eggs, some form of meat usually from Pig and of course some flour-based quick bread usually pancakes but one cannot forget about the classic waffle and scones. But there's all kinds of other places in the downtown Salt Lake area and even up towards the avenues that would be fun to explore for different breakfasts. I don't know if we get a chance before whatever this fall turns into but maybe hopefully next spring.

I don't know how long we're going to be able to keep this activity going. I'm sure sooner or later were going to run into some kind of meteorological setback. I don't know how much I would want to cruise around in a snowstorm, rainstorm or super cold weather. Super cold weather and snow storms may be a thing of the past will just have to see how cruel global warming gets. If anything maybe as the seasons warm it will be perfect for Sunday zooming all year around. Today is resumed around the residential areas a kind of wondered what people thought of associated zoomed up and down their streets on the sidewalks in the back roads other neighborhoods. Where usually fairly early on a Sunday morning like 9 AM 10 AM something like that. Many of the people who have seen us gave us that look of “Ahhhh a son and his dad in a wheelchair having a Sunday morning outing”. I think they may also be thinking what are these guys doing in my neighborhood checking out architecture or whatever? Maybe we should be watching them a little bit closer. No one is stopped us yet and asked us what were doing and getting the feeling that could happen any time especially in these days of such political unrest. What's really strange is that probably bad enough that we are zooming these neighborhoods but probably worse that were often conversing in Russian or trying to the ads a lot more color to the image like red…

Dollar Tree And Me

 

I really tried to push myself into getting out and doing something this Saturday but woke up to clouds of possible storms but I guess that was just enough to put me off going out of hopping on a bus going to downtown Salt Lake for the annual Greek Festival or up to the fairgrounds for the Utah State Fair. To be honest I have never gone to the Greek Festival even though for some five years or longer my office was just a few blocks from where they would set up the festival each year. I for some reason didn't see the attraction to Greek dancing and Greek food. This year however this seems somewhat enticing and it would give me something to tell people next week that I've done something over the weekend. In the same vein I have these nostalgic/romantic feelings about attending the State Fair. And it seems anytime that I've gone with her with a group from my work or with my family is very dreadful experience. Just wandering around aimlessly. I suppose I could enjoy the cattle barns or the various competitions in the sheds and stuff (I don't think I'm saying that right but you know where they have the 4-H competition with animals and things in the exhibition sheds or buildings). Since I don't use any of the rides of the whole part of the fair out of my out of my domain and it seems that there are big electrical cords everywhere but really makes ruling over them even in power chair uncomfortable. Luckily the storms came up and there is actually rain. This was enough for me to put off the experiences. I did, however manage to go across the street and pick up a few things I felt I needed that I could not wait till Monday for especially bananas. I did get caught in one storm on the way which forced me back to the sun came out and then no problem.

I noticed last week for the first time there are signs posted on a portion of the market that was left when the fresh market was taken over by Macy's. I wanted to make sure What I had read on the building was accurate. And sure enough signs are still up that Dollar Tree was moving into that space. Dollar Tree! Less than a block away from my apartment? I cannot believe it. Maybe I'm exposing my blue-collar roots but I just love the whole “dollar” store concept. Right now my closest dollar type store is a number of blocks south at 5400 South Redwood Rd. It's a fast trip on the bus and a real bone rattler if I make the trip In my power chair but I can do it. It's a long trip home if I have a whole bunch of stuff from the dollar store. Not so anymore! I know a lot of the stuff at the dollar stores just junk, cheap plastic crap. I don't know if this Dollars Tree will have the food items the others carry like milk and particularly crackers, designer crackers which I really enjoyed with cheese and coal cuts. And I'm pretty sure I'm getting screwed but I love the concept that everything cost a dollar it blows my mind that there will be a Dollar Tree so close. It doesn't say when they'll be open to all bets before Thanksgiving. Nice to have something to look forward to…

Old Days Old Ways

One of my friends here at the senior living complex we'll call Trish has contacted residents that she would like to get pictures/images of them in their former lives. I'm not exactly sure what that means especially when talking to me was she talking about before my accident or before moving in here. Are the way and become quite dismayed at how few images I can lay my hands on. I have a lot scattered in different boxes I have scurried away in this apartment. I have a lot of images which are pretty good images that been taken with various cell phone cameras and such that I have been various folders also squirreled away on my hard drive but those images are not before my accident. I don't remember if I posted the project I did a couple years ago where I scanned every image that I had laying around as well as pages from various photo albums my mother had put together over the years. In fact that's where I got the image at the front of this posting.

I really like this image it was taken when I actually was wearing clothes that I liked and have image that I fairly like. This image was taken at my parents home and I believe it may have been over Thanksgiving holiday I'm not sure the time 1971 or 72 something like that. I believe was before my first marriage – – a long time ago. Go to realize a lowly five or six years post injury at that point I was still at a point in my life where I would literally jump out of my wheelchair whenever I was going to be anywhere an extended period of time. In this image taken barely make out my chair in the background. It was important for me to lose my chair as often as possible and try to pass as an able-bodied. I don't really know if that's what I was trying to do but I kind of think I was. I kind of miss that guy not only because he's skinny (comparatively speaking) but he also had lots of hair black curly hair. My beard was okay I like the fact that it came in red which kind of surprised me. I don't think I had a beard for 40 years now. I don't know if I have the patience or the will to grow a beard to this point in my life. Now if I go without shaving for even a day I feel Scuzzy. But that was a great moment in my life.

What I'm finding really weird is that I don't feel much like sifting through a bunch of old images for the “Annual” project. Trish is the resident photographer. She has a high-end camera that she does a lot of if not all of the photography around events and happenings here at Plymouth View. She produces a picture book much like the school annuals, Slick glossy pages heavy with images light on text, every year chronicling the events of the complex. But she does a good job and certainly gives her busy and I can appreciate that. But what's weird is that I used to be very fixated on keeping accurate picture of the past especially with things like images and now it's just ho-hum I don't really care. It's almost like the images the longer matter. They are helpful however to stimulate thought and even memories from time to time like the project I'm doing “Shoe Dreams”…</span>

Nice To Know They Are There

 

One of the more annoying issues I'm experiencing with my power chair, my new power chair, is this phenomenon to where I feel like I'm always sliding out of the chair. I think I know the reason for this but I can't really say for sure that one of the reasons I am looking forward to meeting with my physical therapists and seeking technician. I think I'm just sitting weird in this chair. Granted, I have a big belly I'm fully aware of this believe me but that can't be the whole reason. I'm certainly willing to take my part of responsibility. I find myself many times during the day having to stop either my forward mobility are my mobility in general. Tilt my chair back to the point that gravity is having an impact allow me to trigger a spasm that allow me to stiffen my legs and push myself up to the point were my butt is off the cushion that can use my left hand to mush some of the gel pads over to where there in front of my butt which interns let me sit more upright in my chair. When I didn't have to do this all the time I would adjust myself always in the bathroom are basically away from people in general. Now however I've given up on trying to be somewhat modest my actions and will just readjust myself number little conversation with the person or as I traveled to and fro wherever I go. I'm having to do this procedure so often anymore I kind of loose track of format or what I'm doing. Yesterday for example I was in my chair and I can't remember exactly where I was . I really didn't go anywhere so I had to be around here somewhere but anyway, I was on the sidewalk and I leaned my chair back brought up the front in started doing my “bridge” arching back routine. A fire engine was passing when all of a sudden the fire engine stopped and turned on its red lights in the fire guys started getting out of the engine and rapidly come toward me. I guess the guy in charge shouts at me “Are you okay?!” I figured that was going to happen but it's also a bit shocking. I shot back, “Yes I'm fine! I'm just repositioning myself.” After which the fire guy smiles holds up a thumb in the big red truck returns to its track to Darla's Doughnut shop.

I suppose there was a time when they encounter like this used to freak me out for whatever reason now however, don't really care. I appreciate the concern and their willingness to assist me if I should need so – – and really this does put me at a certain level of peace of mind. There was a time when I do anything to avoid intervention from Emergency response team type professionals. Call me cynical but I didn't believe the little model of “to serve and protect” really meant what it said. Well, I wiggled myself back up into a halfway sitting position in my chair and went to the boys as they left glad they were there and more to the point glad that I did not need them at least this time…

Wednesday's Whine

 

As I age I begin to wonder if I'm becoming more and more of a crybaby. It seems like any little thing that goes wrong in my day I start fussing and boobing until something gets done. I guess I can protect my “ adult-ness” by saying I'm becoming I'm being more self assertive and that's a good thing right? After all, but soon to be a big deal to teach folks disabilities at independent living centers around the world: assertiveness training or sticking up for yourself. I'm beginning to wonder now if that's the case. Yesterday I noticed my control box on my chair, that item on the end of my arm piece that's got the joystick on it which allows me to drive my chair, seem to loose I felt underneath and could feel the screws were loose, really loose. I figured I would find somebody around the apartment complex with a screwdriver and tighten things up in the morning. I actually suspicion that one of the screws are gone completely. Then this morning when I got up and drove my chair into the bathroom I noticed it was very very loose and then I also noticed like it almost completely swivel the control completely around. The control boxing to be now being held by just one screw which was really freaky. I wasn't necessarily spooked but I need to get this repair today and I had to take precedent over anything else I was going to do. I had the option of heading down to the UTAP The old UCAT and having them harvest a couple of screws of one of the “garbage” chairs laying all around the front door. Like I said anything is going to do today was now superseded by a trip up Redwood Road to the south on public transit.

Lucky for me it was a good day for transit low clouds just smoke in the sky and toasty temperatures all of which I tolerate well. As much as I like my new guy, my new home healthcare person, I'm not sure if he's my new guy because I have not heard any status on the old provider Melanie but Tristan keeps getting assigned to me weekly. The only drawback is I see him being perpetually late between 20 and 40 minutes. Lucky for me I really have time frames where this is an issue. Tristan scheduled for 8:30 AM this seems to be things I could be doing if I were showered and dressed but there's always things I can be doing make it isn't showered waiting for them to show up. If it becomes too problematic things can change right now introduces and delivers good home health service. By the time almost finished this morning it was almost 11 o'clock. By the time I got to UTAP it was a little after 12 PM. The door was locked and I couldn't tell if the white button on the door was reading the bill or not. I would about 20 minutes notice showed up we went around to the front of the building and asked if they knew that the staff is coming back. The receptionist I checked and the only time that offices open now days is on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I turned around and went home.

When the calls I made in the morning was to my buddy Allen B who is the technician from the wheelchair shop. He spends a lot of time in neighborhood doing support for chairs and need. I got a hold of Allen who informed me that he was heading out the counties would be back later in the day it would be time to stop at my apartment which he after some focused searching in his bags of bolts an found me the three taper nuts and save the day.

I lost any chance at any creative writing I wanted to do, tomorrow I have lunch with the writer and we are supposed to produce our efforts at writing for the past couple weeks I have barely 3000 words. I don't have a working printer but I'll see what I can put together tonight to slap Into the hands of the real writers in the group and promise more for the next lunch meeting…

Tuesdays Tangent

I started that Robert Ludlum book Today, you know that Ludlum is not a Ludlum book published under Ludlum's name? Actually it's not bad. I took the book with me on my trip to downtown for my assist meeting this morning. I can't believe how long it's been since I actually took a book with me on my bus trips. I think it's because of this new chair of the power chair that really does not have adequate sides to hold things. In the old days I often stuck the book I was reading the side of my chair so I dollars, with me. But as these new chairs of gotten, what they think is fancier, there's no less less side protection for the armrests. Not only does that eliminate the ability to carry stuff but also takes away the place to insert a modesty panel some sort. I was able to use one of the modesty panels we made the other day which works fine as long as it stays wedged between myself and the armrest but I found that I nearly lost the foam rubber piece three times today. If I don't remain alert will work its way free but I won't feel, usually, the foam piece slip away. I was relatively hypervigilant today however and came home with the piece I left with. There is only one time they had to backtrack and luckily there was right in the middle of the sidewalk. The piece of foam had stayed in the place where I dropped it almost 90 minutes earlier as I was at my Assist meeting.

Now that was a pretty good tangent. I think I'll enjoy the read all things considered I have to admit though there is certain level of violence had not encountered before not even in the Stephen King volumes I love so much.

The other project I'm trying to focus on is the shoe stories. I just cannot write which breaks my heart. I'm going to operate under the concept that the more one does right the better the writing might become. I don't know if I totally believe that but many given a shot. I'm going to try to make my morning time by writing time did enjoy the rest of the day. I'm wondering as well perhaps I should go back to typing manually as opposed to using a device like Open Writer or some other voice to text software. Maybe it's not being able to think on my seat as opposed to putting thoughts out too fast to enhance the story development concept. Whereas if I'm slaving over a keyboard trying to type might be able to maul a thought before I added to the page. I have to admit I don't look forward to physically typing. I didn't mind the process before my stenosis operations which left my right side significantly impacted to the point that I couldn't type for some time. Now however, I can type again somewhat, not with the endurance of side did before but maybe as I type I'll build by endurance up again. I don't know if I will do that, I'll give it a shot and see how it feels. Maybe I can use a version where I take the best out of both techniques to increase the probability of getting something written worth reading…

Labor Day Slacker

 

I finished Hemingway's A Movable Feast,Clearly one of the best reads I've done all summer. So good, so rich in the comments of a real writer. Just a shame he had to blow his head off. I'm sure Hemingway had his reasons as all the others that I have suicide frustrations with did/do but I'll leave it at that or I would wander into a rant about how much I am angry at incredibly gifted people who off themselves. One of the biggest takeaways from the book is caring way made a comment that how intimidated he was to write a novel. I guess you just focused on journalistic reporting and the short story. He was encouraged by people in his group like Ezra Pound and F Scott Fitzgerald to consider the novel form. What really endeared me to this guy was he made the comment he didn't think he would be able to string together enough words and thoughts for a complete novel. I have had and do have those exact same feelings that comes to not only novels but short stories. Sadly, this only reinforced how novice I am and maybe I shouldn't be even trying but that's really defeatist and not really who I am. Now I'm almost interested in picking up one of the Hemingway novels and doing a read or some cases a reread just to examine his style and mechanics a little bit closer. I don't know if I would do a task like this before Christmas or the new year but who knows, seriously who knows?

Kind of funny but I was up enthused and energized Because my home health person was a half an hour late I was really late by the time I got dressed in ready for my day. I immediately called the wheelchair guys set up the appointment for me my physical therapist and wheelchair shop person to go over my new chair which I've really worn down the past four months. Anyway, I was surprised nobody picked up and my call went straight to voicemail. It took me a moment to process then I realized I was sitting on the morning of the last day of the holiday weekend. It's Labor Day nobody's going to be in their offices today it is truly the last holiday of summer. That being said I instantly switched into holiday mode. I did Pump my armbike for a 50 minute workout but decided not to write or anything else productive just work on finishing my Hemingway… Which I did. I know a real writer writes… So you know what that says about me. I didn't even do any fancy cooking this holiday. No T-bone steaks, no roast turkey will flank steaks not even sloppy Joe's. I've half at razzle berry pie that I purchased Saturday and my neighbor cooked yesterday. We are kind of doing a tagteam thing right now. I buy something and she will cook it then we split the proceeds works good for me. This is our first attempt don't know what else you might consider kind of thinking something like a casserole or something. I haven't really finished my idea about doing a holiday dinner. When is it the market the other day I did pick up a package of pepperoni's (which I said I would never do again because the other was just died in the fridge) but maybe I'll throw together a pizza in honor of Labor Day who knows…