Just another Tuesday

 I   over the years I've babbled on and off about the volunteer board that I sit on for assist,inc. I don't really know how many years I've actually been there. I know that I started way back when I was with independent living and I was working diligently getting on as many boards as I could. I saw it as part of my job as a community resource coordinator to help other organizations that service folks that were lower income and folks with disabilities. Many ways the management of these organizations asked me questions that were relevant to these populations. Nowadays assisted the only program that I'm part of anymore it seems like on a regular basis. We no longer meet every week but usually a couple times a month at least. I'm on this volunteer board citizen volunteer board with two other folks, at the current time, we're all older individuals one of these folks I know is older than me and the other one I doubt is older than I am. Not that matters but I really think 90% of this particular board is a socialization group. Not for me per se My motivations are far different of course. I see my part of this board for me is to let me feel alive done something useful in the world especially now. If I didn't have this board to go to I would really think I was a bit of a nothing now at least I sign a few minutes each week or whenever I meet with these folks. I think I'm a little snooty sometimes a little arrogant when I don't need to be. I get so upset, in orderly, when they just want to sit around and socialize and do this pretend thing and asking the director of this group Andreas questions about the organization particularly if it's funding and how it well it seems to be going. I'm doing a lot better these days. I don't think I'm a snippy as I used to be not these folks care or even understand the frustration that I have a sitting around babbling when we should be doing these requests for funding documents. I'm pretty sure I'm still a member in good standing at least it seems like I am when I leave. Who knows what they say once I leave I always leave quickly as soon as we finish the requests. Rarely do I sit around the lollygagg about this and that. I feel that I give the erroneous feeling that I'm going to someplace important to do something important that I'm something important. I'm sure they all know better but it makes you feel like I'm important to myself and maybe that's just enough…