Shame on Me

My appointment with the doc is for tomorrow at 11:00 up at the university medical center. I am being seen for the severe persistent pain in my left shoulder. I have been placing hot packs on it for the past couple of days. I packed the shoulder over the long MLK weekend and I was surprised at the amount of relief I enjoyed so much so I decided I would continue the relief giving process while working. Somewhere over the years I picked up 'bean bag', a vessel like a sock has about three or four pounds of rice or bean sewn inside, throw the bag in the microwave for3-4 minutes and your get a burn center certified implement of destruction. Seriously, I have to be careful. The bean bag has two rope handles and I wrap the burning bag in a Boise State University Christmas Claire gave me and I still have to be careful that I don't burn myself. Over the years I have done stupid things like this and been burned, sometimes significantly so. I hate to wear my RX's on my sleeve but the office harassment over the stench caused when I heat up the compress forces me to look as pitiful as I can to justify the odor.

This morning the the office confab , you know that time that staff stands round the secretaries office and gabs and today the discussion took a serious turn as whined about the physical challenges I have been faced with the past couple of weeks and specifically rehearesed my fear of falling while transferring from one chair to chair or chair to bed etc. I explained I don't know what will happen when I fall, and I will sooner or later even if my tendonitis clears up completely...sooner or later I am going to fall and really, if I cannot get hold of my son-in-law or Mark A. I will be up the creek, so to speak. I mean we would be forced to call Murray Fired Department(MFD) who does have a station round the corner from the house. I do have a brother who also lives five or six block away, and he is strong but he is ten years older then me. I could call once same with MFD but that is all you get before they start talking about locking you away for your and their own good.

But there are programs which are aimed at keeping people with disabilities living independently in their own homes. I have not explored these options because I think I am going to get better, I am going to heal and not have to think about this nasty stuff any longer—I am too young for any kind of assisted living. You know what? Am dead wrong!! I need to jump in with both shoes on and put the “system” to work assisting me stay at work.!! I need to be proactive and