Slippage

I'm slipping. I am slipping,I can feel I am slipping and I am having a difficult time trying to correct the slippage. I had a meeting this week I had a meeting today that I completely spaced off. I did not realize I had this meeting until I just happened to see the notification looking at my emails for something else. It was 11:00 am and I suppose I could have sprinted for buses and connections and would have been late but I would still have made the meeting, grabbed the hot lunch and then came back on the bus. I saw the time and thought of the stress of busing and decided to stay at my office. I did not even call the program director to be excused—which I always would have done but no. not today: I am slipping.

I am slipping because I am in vocational limbo. I don't know what is going to happen to me except I will no longer be here at this office or even with the State for that matter. I still sense things are happening in high places regarding my demise and I suppose that is good, if not a little intimidating. Its like why update my web site if it just going dark the end of June; should I even try to appear at information fairs since my program is vanishing: slippage. I should start thinking about boxing up my office but I just cannot box up the place until I get the final word that I have to leave.

My boss has worked long and hard trying to find a place for me to land and she has maybe almost found a place, now she is looking for funding so the program can hire at no impact to their budgets. The place is another room—that is what I do best, phone—the major issue I am having with this almost solution the agency is a private non profit not tied in to the State and what happens to my benefits with the State especially the insurance? I gotta have some form of coverage—the more the better. But I gotta have coverage. I have tried to get this information from the guys at HR, or
Retirement Systems I just cannot pin them down. I would like to think and feel I had till the last day of June but somehow I am sensing that as soon as some program or agency offers me a position I am going to be bum rushed out the front door from here. I would like stay on here as long as I can. That we'll have to see.

Tomorrow is Thursday and tomorrow is also a broadcast day—now, I have not slipped on that. I have about three to four interviews left unless I am rushed out. I like the interviews I would like to keep doing them even when I leave this office. The interviews I can do entirely on my own if I have to but the meetings. My memberships on various councils and board is another matter. I suppose I could serve on them after I am cut loose, but why—I'll have to think on that—this could all be part of the slippage.